This Can't Be Normal: Robyn's Journey Through Pelvic Organ Prolapse

Episode Summary

In this conversation, Robyn Pineault shares her deeply personal journey through childbirth, pelvic organ prolapse, and the subsequent challenges she faced. From her experience of giving birth to twins vaginally, which led to multiple pelvic floor traumas, to her struggles with mental health and the decision to undergo surgery, Robyn provides valuable insights into women's health. She emphasizes the importance of pelvic floor physiotherapy, the need for women to advocate for their health, and the lessons learned about resilience and self-compassion throughout her recovery process.

Key Takeaways

- Robyn shared her experience of giving birth to twins vaginally, which led to multiple pelvic floor traumas.
- She discussed the challenges of prolapse and the lack of information available to women about it.
- Robyn emphasized the importance of pelvic floor physiotherapy and finding the right healthcare team.
- She highlighted that surgery can be a valid option for prolapse and not a sign of failure.
- Robyn's journey included dealing with mental health challenges, including postpartum depression and anxiety.
- She learned to ask for help and prioritize self-care during her recovery.
- Robyn's experience with surgery was more painful than expected, and she had to adjust her expectations for recovery.
- She discussed the emotional impact of not being able to participate in physical activities with her children.
- Robyn encouraged women to advocate for themselves and seek help if they feel something is wrong with their bodies.
- She shared her new perspective on resilience and the importance of self-compassion.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Prolapse and Personal Journey
02:19 The Birth Experience and Its Consequences
05:32 Understanding Prolapse: Diagnosis and Initial Reactions
08:01 Exploring Treatment Options: Physiotherapy and Pessaries
12:17 Defining Prolapse: Types and Common Issues
16:54 The Emotional Impact of Prolapse and Birth Trauma
25:48 Surgery: Decisions, Options, and Recovery
32:09 Mental Preparation for Surgery and Future Considerations
35:59 Navigating Recovery: The Role of Family Support
43:57 Lessons in Patience and Self-Compassion
51:07 Understanding Pelvic Organ Prolapse
57:51 Empowering Women: Speaking Up for Your Health

Disclaimer

Breast Intentions is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content shared on this podcast is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any views or opinions expressed by the hosts and guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of any affiliated organizations. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider for medical advice or concerns.

Resources & Mentions:

• Get in touch with the Robyn on Instagram (@robynpineault)

• Follow us on Instagram and Facebook (@breastintentionspodcast ) 

Connect With Us: Have a topic or guest suggestion? Email us at breastintentionspodcast@gmail.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

The OB that was on call that day was really tired at the end of his shift and specifically said he wanted to get out of there. So he used two forceps to deliver my babies. And I knew nothing about forceps deliveries. It wasn't something I had educated myself on before giving birth. And since giving birth, I have discovered that it is quite a high percentage of women who have fourceps deliveries that will then prolapse. And because I had two forcep deliveries back to back, 12 minutes apart, I was also given an epesiotomy against my wishes. And my placenta was also ripped out of me.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Welcome to Breast Intention, the podcast where we take off the bra of expectations and dive into honest, empowering conversations. We're your hosts, Nadine and Cynthia, two Canadian girls who swap snowboots for flip-fluff in the Cayman Islands. This is your space to feel seen, supported, and a little less alone. So grab a cup of coffee or a glass of champagne and get ready for your weekly handful of truth, wellness, and empowerment. Welcome back to Breast Intentions. Today's guest is Robin Pinault. Her journey into motherhood took an unexpected turn after delivering twins in 2020. What began as a postpartum complication became a years-long fight for answers, culminating in major reconstructive surgery in 2025. Today she shares her story of resilience, advocacy, and healing.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

So on today's episode, we have a very good friend of mine and an old friend of mine as well, back from the fitness industry, I think it was, Robin Pinnell. Welcome to the show. I'm so excited to be here. Thanks for having me on. Well, thanks for coming on and also for sharing something that's very intimate and something that is probably has been quite private for you for a while. But I do think that there's a really great opportunity to share your story because there's probably more women out there that struggle with some of the stuff that you've been through, which is prolapse. But we're going to get into a little bit more of like the bigger side of it, because as I said earlier, it's probably more like prolapse on steroids. And maybe if I can get you to introduce yourself and just kind of talk a little bit about what happened back in 2020.

SPEAKER_04 2:38

Yeah, for sure. So I am a twin mom of boy girl twins. So back in July of 2020, I gave birth vaginally to my twins, which is not the norm. Most uh twin moms opt for c-sections. Um and you say that I have been dealing with something quite privately, but I actually have been quite public about it on my Instagram, and that's how you found out. So I have been talking um for the last, I would say, three months about how um I um would undergo a multiple organ prolapse surgery, which is the result of the wonderful birth of my babes. So back in 2020, um I really, really wanted a vaginal birth. One, I wanted to experience it because this was probably going to be my one and only pregnancy. And I believe in the health of a vaginal birth for the babes. Um, and so I was very adamant and I gave birth in an operating room, which is the norm in hospitals if you're having a twin birth. So I gave birth in an operating room. Um and during the birth, um, the OB that was on call that day was really tired at the end of his shift and specifically said he wanted to get out of there. So he used two forceps to deliver my babies. Um and I knew nothing about forceps deliveries. It wasn't something I had educated myself on before giving birth. Um, and since giving birth, I have discovered that it is quite a high percentage of women who have forceps deliveries that will then prolapse. Um, and because I had two force two forcep deliveries back to back, 12 minutes apart, um, I was also given a PZ an episiotomy against my wishes. Um, and my placenta was also ripped out of me. So that's just like perfect perfect storm for multiple pelvic floor um traumas within a very short amount of time. Um and then I also had to have a DNC, I would say a week later. So I was in the hospital for two weeks. They couldn't figure out why I was in so much pain after giving birth. Um, and they finally did an ultrasound. I want to say like a week after I gave birth and found out that there was still retained placenta inside. So I also had to have a DNC. So like yet again more pelvic floor trauma. Um, and so that resulted in a vaginal wall prolapse. I would say about like a week or two after I got home from the hospital. So I was in the hospital for two weeks, two weeks at home, and then all of a sudden, I think I stood up and I thought my uterus was falling out of my body because there was like a golf ball amount of let's just call it skin. Um, I didn't know what it was that was coming out of my vagina. I remember standing there and like yelling at my husband to come see. Um, and we immediately went to the ER where I found out um, well, the ER doctor told me it was a vaginal wall prolapse. Um, and there, you know, I should go to physiotherapy, and there's nothing he could do. Um, so that is the the long story short of the birth resulting in what I've been dealing with for the past five years now.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

Right. Oh my gosh. Okay. Um so with the forceps and the epesiotomy being used during the delivery, and like so I guess you were saying that it was three weeks after that you felt that something wasn't right, or it was immediately after that you felt something wasn't right?

SPEAKER_04 6:18

No, it was like two weeks after. Um, but like the vaginal wall prolapse presented itself fairly soon, you know, two weeks after we got home from the hospital. I'm having this like golf ball size amount of skin protruding outside of my vagina.

SPEAKER_00 6:33

Was that the first time that you noticed something felt off?

SPEAKER_04 6:36

Yeah, like it was completely fine, and then I just stood up and I felt this like downward pressure, and there was like this, yeah, this golf ball size amount of skin. And I thought my uterus was falling out of my body.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

How was it explained to you when you went to the hospital?

SPEAKER_04 6:53

So I thought it was a uterine prolapse, and I used those words when we got to the ER, saying, like, I just gave birth to twins, and I gave them the whole history. And when I was examined by the ER doctor, um, he said, Oh, it's just a vaginal wall prolapse. It's just this like this side of your vaginal wall coming out. And it wasn't explained to me at all at that moment that organs could be pushing the vaginal wall out. I didn't discover until 2025 what a prolapse actually is. So I went about, you know, they told me, you know, go pelvic floor physiotherapy. I had been doing pelvic floor physiotherapy leading up to the birth because I had actually been seeing a pelvic floor physiotherapist when I was an obstacle course racer pre-kids. So I knew I had a tell tight pelvic floor, and so I was getting therapy to prepare for birth, and then I was getting therapy while I was pregnant. And so I went to see a pelvic floor physiotherapist. However, I also gave birth in the middle of a pandemic. So I had limited access to care. Um, and when I did finally see a pelvic floor physiotherapist, you know, I was taught strengthening exercises, so breathing exercises. Um, I don't call them keagels, but like strength, like holding your pelvic floor up. Um and it just kept getting worse and worse. And so I gave birth in British Columbia in Canada, and then we moved back to Ontario, and then I had to rebuild my healthcare team. And so it was about like a year um later from the time of the first prolapse that I finally got um some care. And so I asked my family doctor, um, because I'd done all this research, um, to get fitted for a pessary. Um, and so I knew the importance of potentially getting a pessary to hold everything back up while I was strengthening or while I was working out, because uh I'm still like we know each other from our fitness competition days. I'm still lifting, I'm still um, you know, trying to stay very strong. And so I was fitted for a pessary, and it didn't seem to work. So what's a pessary? A pessary is actually should go get it. It's um I've never worn a diaphragm, but my understanding it's like very similar to a diaphragm. It's a circular device that like you can fold it in half and you insert it, and then it flips open and it literally can like lift everything up. So for those who are watching on video, if you have any organs prolapsing, it will hold everything up while you're walking or running or because otherwise, is it just hanging out? Yeah. It's just hanging out. And my understanding from all of the pelvic floor physiotherapy visits that I've gone to over the years is they used to grade them. So they actually can no longer grade them. Only a Eurogynecologist can formally grade them now, but there's four grades. So there grade one is it's slightly protruding, grade two is slightly worse. And so at the time I had like a grade two prolapse, um, and it got worse than a grade four. Um, so I started talking about preparing for the surgery, and the reason why um it's no longer like private information is one of my videos on TikTok went viral to 1.3 million viewers listening to me describe that I had about this much sticking outside of my vagina. So for those who are listening to audio, like take your thumb and index finger and hold it as wide open as possible. So I um found out quite later that I had not only my bladder, but my uterus and my rectum all pro all protruding outside of my vagina.

SPEAKER_00 10:55

Which was originally told to you that it was the vaginal wall, and like it just he just said it would like it was like it's just your vaginal wall, go get some physiotherapy, you'll you'll be fine.

SPEAKER_04 11:06

It might yeah, it might be in just the vaginal wall at the beginning, but over the course of the next, so this was 20 um 20. Um, over the course of the next four years up until 2025, it became slowly worse. And so I wasn't I actually wasn't able to wear the pessary. Every time I would put in the pessary, I would get uncomfortably constipated, and I've never been constipated in my life. Um so something would happen with my organs internally to cause constipation, so I never wanted to wear it, but also I would put it in. So I would uh specifically put it in because I used to be a runner. I absolutely like loved running. I was an optical horse racer, a trail runner. Um, I would run five kilometers a couple times a week with my dog, and I would try to put the pessary in, and I would walk out of the house and I would immediately pee myself. And so I was it was it was probably not fitted properly for my body. Um I've come to know that there are different types of pessaries, and I wasn't really given those options. And I never went back to my physiotherapist and said it's not working. I just kind of like if it's not working, I'm not gonna use it. So um, but that's on me. Like I could have tried to find different options, but near the end, nothing would hold anything in. Like when I say I had this much sticking out of my vagina, there's no way that that pessary was gonna hold anything in. So um, it just got too bad.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

Absolutely not. And they're actually not even on this list um because it just like unraveled. So for anyone who is listening, um, how do you define like a uterine prolapse, uh a vaginal wall prolapse? All of the different prolapses, and like what is the most common one?

SPEAKER_04 13:02

Yeah, my understanding is that the most common is the bladder. So the bladder will actually like push down and part of the bladder will um stick out and come into the vaginal um wall or vaginal like area. Um the next one that's uh also quite common is the rectal. Um so when I was looking for research when I was preparing for surgery, I was trying to find other women that have undergone the surgery, and I couldn't find anyone that has had all three. Um I had only been able to find someone that's had a cysteosyl, which is a bladder repair, or a rectocele, which is the rectum repair. So those I could find information about. Um and the way that those are fixed is you go in through the vaginal wall, you um there's a large incision, and they will go in and kind of like put your bladder and your rectum back into place. Um and so those those my understanding from my research are the most common. Um but what what I found out, so there was twice that I raised my hand. So I raised my hand in 2021, and I actually went into a hospital in Ottawa and saw a urinal urogynecologist, and at this time I was on of the mindset that I had a vaginal wall prolapse and I could strengthen my vaginal wall muscles and I could I could fix everything. And so I had this mindset that like I didn't need surgery, I was not gonna ever need surgery, I could fix this myself. Um I'm pretty stubborn that way, and so I I had just asked, I'm like, I want to be fitted for a pessary, and the neurogynacologist said, Unfortunately, we don't do pessary fittings, you have to go see a pelvic floor physiotherapist. And they gave me some recommendations, and they said at that time, they said the majority of the prolapses have to be fixed with surgery, and I was like, What are you talking about? Like, this just doesn't make sense. But they didn't present me with my surgical options at that time, and they didn't tell me like I also don't think they examined me, I don't think they actually looked at my prolapse to see what it actually was. Um and so if they had maybe examined me, they might have seen what organs were coming out because when I raised my hand in 20, so I raised my hand in 2024 with my family doctor, and I said, this is getting so bad, and I'll explain why it was so bad. Um and I said, you know, let me talk to a eurogynecologist about my surgical options because I came across some research that if my uterine ligaments had been damaged during birth to a point where they were torn, there was no way I was gonna be able to strengthen my muscles. And so I came to an understanding that damage might have been done, probably was done, it's hard to tell during the birth, and I was never gonna be able to fix the prolapse because of how extreme my situation was. My situation is very extreme. There are not a lot of twin moms that give birth vaginally with force up delivery. So, like as I've been sharing it, everyone and their sister on TikTok is like, oh my gosh, you need to be unlocked. I'm like, that's only if you have twins and you opt for a vaginal delivery. Like, let's just remember the situation. So it is important to kind of tell my birth story. Um but when I finally got a Eurogynecologist um consult a year later, because it's a year waiting list here in Canada. When I went in, I saw a fellow and she examined me and she's like, and I said, you know, I have a vaginal wall prolapse. No, you don't. You have three organs hanging out of your body. And I had no clue this entire time.

SPEAKER_00 16:53

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 16:54

Four years later. So 2000, I saw the Eurogynecologist in May of 2025. And so this is five years basically from the birth of the twins, and I'm finding out that I have three organs hanging out of my body, and this entire time I just thought it was the vaginal wall protruding more and more. Um so there's just such a lack of information about this. Women don't talk about it because people know it's your vagina. Nobody talks about your vagina, and like I have stuff hanging out of my vagina, so it's yeah, it's not, it's not now. I'm like, I've talked about it so much, I'm I'm probably a little like I'm okay with it.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

But like this is not something you bring up on a party. Hey. Um how did all of this impact? This is probably a very loaded question, but how did all of this impact your life? Like, could you jump? Could you sneeze? Could you cough?

SPEAKER_04 17:54

Yeah. So luckily with the prolapse, I had no incontinence because everything hanging out was pressing on my urethra. Um, so as everything's like hanging out, it's pressing on the urethra. So I technically had no problems working out, like it's very hard to run with that much stuff hanging out of your vagina. So like running kind of became something that I couldn't do. Um, I remember filming, um, it was the the phase of Instagram where um the wives were doing like like, can you get away, can can you get away from your husband in like a foot race? Um, and I remember like trying to run away from my husband, and I the prolapse was so bad that day. I was like, I'm gonna retry this once everything is fixed. But like just running was out of the question. Working out was really hard. So even doing squats, lunges, um, I had to be very careful about how I brace my core and lift my pelvic floor so that the prolapse doesn't get worse. Um, I talked about it on TikTok, but like sex was awkward. We still had amazing sex, but sex is awkward when you have to shove your uterus back into your body before you put the penis in. So like there's just like it's just, it's just awkward. Um, and it got to a point, the reason why I finally raised my hand was I was having trouble completely voiding my bladder, and I was actually having trouble with bowel movements. So um it it was just I was having trouble voiding completely, which is just not a great quality of life to have.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

So, on top of it being physical, as in like limiting, um, or somewhat limiting, how was it mentally and emotionally?

SPEAKER_04 19:45

Well, I think, and I've talked about this before, um, in like my birth story. I used to have my own podcast and I shared my birth story publicly. Um, and something that was really hard was I gave birth to twins and then I went into survival mode. I went into I'm trying to keep two humans alive, I'm trying to figure out how to breastfeed two babies at the same time. Um, I'm in a lot of pain from the epesiotomy and the vaginal delivery. Um, and so I was just going into healing mode. And then because of the two-week stay in the hospital, me and the babies actually got thrush. And because it's the pandemic, I wasn't getting proper afterbirth care. Um, so I had thrush for three months post-coming home. Um, and I was miserable because I was giving, I was trying to breastfeed the babies, and every time they would latch, it was shooting pains in my boobs. And I was just like screaming in pain. I was crying. I thought it was normal. So I thought I was just like, I just thought breastfeeding was uncomfortable, and I didn't share this with anyone. I finally went into um like a two-month post-op appointment with an OB. Um, and she was checking my psiotomy, seeing how it was healing, and she just asked me how I was, and I broke down crying, saying that like breastfeeding was so painful. And she's like, May I take a look? And she looked at my boobs and she looked in the baby's mouth, and she's like, You have thrush. Like you and I was like, I don't even what's what's thrush? I had no idea. Um, and so mentally I was just like, I was worn down. I was so I wasn't even thinking about my prolapse because I'm trying to figure out breastfeeding for two babies. And so um I think if I had had a different situation, I had if I had had different types of care, I might have discovered things earlier, I might have been able to address things earlier. But I just kind of like I was like, Oh, the prolapse is there. Like, I'm gonna try to do my strengthening exercises when I'm sitting, breastfeeding, but you know, I wasn't getting um regular physiotherapy care. Um, to try to make it better. So like it just kept kept getting worse. Um and then life gets busy and it's one of those things where like if you don't prioritize um taking care of it, it it can get worse, especially if you're lifting. So I was lifting um you know I was trying to get back to three to four workouts a week and I love my squatting, I love my lunging and so and deadlifting. So like of course that's going to cause downward pressure on your pelvic floor.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

Did you struggle with um depression and anxiety?

SPEAKER_04 22:29

Yeah. Yeah. So uh after the birth, I would say the first year after the twins was probably the hardest, especially when we were living out in BC because we did not have any family and we had no community and we couldn't find anyone that was like minded. So we were really struggling as like a family unit. And I remember one day um telling my husband that I while he was at work I pictured when he got home walking out of the house and never coming back. Wow. So that was probably like my lowest moment but I like I vocalized it to him that I was having these feelings. And we immediately got help. So I was able to get um talk therapy um which is I don't want to knock talk talk therapy but like it was what I needed at the time I have come to learn that like talking about your problems and talking about negative things um consistently just keeps you in that kind of area. I wish I had been able to like voice more like here's what I need in terms of support. Like I need someone to come and help me with laundry or like I need someone to come and clean the house. I wish I had been able to voice that at the time because that's really what I needed is I was trying to control everything. So because I lost control during the birth um because you know the forceps were not something I wanted the peasantomy was not something I wanted. So I like I lost control during the birth afterwards I just tried to control everything. The laundry had to be done my way I had to fill the dishwasher my way and I just needed to control things. And if I had been able to talk to someone about relinquishing control of things and like being taken care of um I think that's would that would have helped me so much more. Talk therapy was like the band-aid solution but then it was figuring out how to like relinquish control and surrender to like actually accepting help. So that was but the the postpartum depression and anxiety were very much based on the birth trauma. And I would say you know like over the years having the prolapse it's frustrating it's it's been very annoying. I probably have lost a lot of confidence that I had before I was constantly asking my husband and I wore um I wear leggings a lot because the leggings were so supportive in terms of like keeping the prolapse up wearing like loose pants was actually like excruciating because my prolapse would come out of my underwear and then it would just rub. And so I wore leggings quite a lot and I everywhere I went I would always ask my husband I'm like can you see the prolapse because it was so like it would protrude so much. I was like does it look like I've pooped my pants so like I was probably like I was moving through life as if everybody knew and so I've probably lost a lot of my confidence just like thinking people knew I had something sticking out of my vagina even though like no one no one knew.

SPEAKER_01 25:48

Right.

SPEAKER_04 25:50

Yeah I have so many questions um yeah there is um so you had the surgery how long ago six eight weeks seven I am seven weeks post op as of this recording okay and do you feel like your world has changed I'm in a lot of pain oh are you um yeah so healing timeline was not what I expected I don't know because I've I couldn't find anyone that had gone through the three surgeries in one um I couldn't find any information on healing timelines and I don't think my surgeon properly prepared me for it so I've been talking about it quite a lot just to like give um because I've found quite a lot of women through TikTok and Instagram who are about to have this surgery or one of the three surgeries. And I think it's because they they they call it a day surgery and so I'm like oh I'm not staying overnight like I'm in and out. This shouldn't be that bad. Meanwhile um you know some people that have had um similar surgeries or like or maybe two of the three they're like no I was in pain for like six to eight weeks I was like oh like I I didn't even think about that. But for the first four weeks I was horizontal. I could barely sit or stand for longer than like five to ten minutes. And the the pain is slowly subsiding but uh also so let's talk about the surgery. So I opted for it's called a hysteropexy and so when I was presented with the surgical options for the three organs um there's the cystoel and the rectocal so the bladder and the rectum um solutions and then when it comes to your uterus you're presented with two options. You're presented with uh hysterectomy right yeah so you're you're presented with the option of having your uterus removed it's not common for them to keep the uterus because um I've also I've also been told that I'm young um this is a this is a surgery that's done in much older women um and so at that point you're way past childbearing age you're probably in menopause and so keeping the uterus is like cool let's get rid of it um whereas I had a hysteropexy so um they went in laparoscopically through my belly button um and they needed to look at two different ligaments so if my uterine ligaments were okay they were going to suture the uterus to those unfortunately they were like completely crap which is like it makes sense that my uterus was sticking out that much so they sutured my uterus to my to my sacrospinous ligament which is basically in your tailbone and so I have incredible tailbone pain because my uterus is being held up by my tailbone ligament. How come we how come you didn't want the hysterectomy or was it your so I've been having it was my choice and also the surgeon so the so again backstory when I went in in May of 2025 and I was presented with the options the fellow that I saw recommended that I have the hysterectomy because they she said it's much more common that if you don't have the hysterectomy that you will prolapse again in the future. So prolapse is just like something that I will I need to worry about. I need to strengthen my pelvic floor and heal properly so that I don't prolapse again. But it might happen again you know when I'm in my hopefully 80s or something like that and they'll they'll go back in and do another surgery if I want it. When I went in um I had to go in for something called UBS testing. So because I live with MS, multiple sclerosis um they were worried that once they fixed everything I was going to have incontinence issues. So what they do is they do this testing where they fill your bladder with specific measurement tools that they insert because they want to see if there's the right pressure there. And then they actually like fill your bladder to make you like stand up, hold it walk to the bathroom and see if you can actually like hold um the the fluid because the other option that I was given so I was going to actually have something called a urethra sling. So if there if there was any incontinence issues they were going to take some of the fascia from my abdomen and actually make a sling to hold the urethra. Thankfully I passed the UDS testing with fine color so I didn't need that option but that would have been four surgeries at one so I go in for the UDF testing and the urogynecologist the senior one sees me at a time and she's like at 43 you're actually quite young and I was like thank you for saying that I work with a lot of 25 year olds who don't feel young so I appreciate that. But she said because you're quite young you want to save your uterus so it was something that like they wanted in addition to you know I had actually grieved for a couple of months the loss of my uterus I thought I was losing it. And then when she said she was going to save it I was like great this is this is good news. I had quite a lot of conversations with my naturopath about how the uterus is your largest estrogen receptor and even if you have it removed your ovaries you can go into menopause earlier than normal. It's not imminent and I wasn't worried that like I was going to go into menopause right away. But if I'm going to go into menopause at a certain time and it would be earlier of course I want to avoid that like I who wants to go into menopause earlier than what their body is supposed to do.

SPEAKER_00 31:54

So that's why we captured I guess you know knowing that you now have to have three possibly four surgeries did that bring up any kind of emotions or fears um like bringing you back to kind of the birth or kind of worrying about that yeah I remember being very emotional from like May to I had the UDS testing done in July.

SPEAKER_04 32:21

So from May to July I was grieving the loss of my uterus and the loss of something that like we see as you know our womanhood, our womb. And also just fear of I have been doing so much work to lose postpartum weight and I've been feeling so strong and so capable and then having to go into a major surgery that's we're gonna require quite a lot of bed rest and recovery. So like mentally that was really hard to prepare for I did a lot of visualizing exercises that the surgery went really well and there was no complications and everything. So like I went into this kind of the same way I went into birth visualizing the the optimal outcome and really focusing on that instead of like thinking about horror stories or trying to find the horror stories I really tried to focus on the positives knowing that like I am I'm really good at educating myself but like I know that I can like spend hours down wormholes that I don't need to. So mentally I really tried to prepare when I found out I was keeping my uterus I was like okay great this is amazing and then the thought like my husband and I have had some conversations like can I even conceive again? Like do we even want more kids because we have like we we haven't even thought about it because I've had a prolapse. So like there's no way my uterus was ever going to be able to hold another child. So you know we've been having some conversations about it but like can't even fathom that because we have to focus on my healing. And then just the like mental drain of you know not being able to work out not being able to have sex not being able to have orgasms we'll get into that you're not allowed to have an orgasm while you're healing um even like self-induced through toys um apparently that was the first time I had asked that question oh is this what you posted yesterday I had asked my list of questions on my phone.

SPEAKER_05 34:28

We're literally sitting I am in an OR bed we're about to wheel into the operating room and they're like do you have any questions?

SPEAKER_04 34:35

And I'm like I have a lot but they're all about like post off and I was like do you want me to ask now or after we get they're like well you're probably gonna be pretty out of it so you might as well ask now so we're literally sitting in the hallway. I have a team I had four surgeons in my operating room so I have four surgeons around me the anesthesiologist and I'm asking questions like when can I lift again? Um should like should I start walking right away and then my last question was like Am I allowed to have a clitoral orgasm like they're like what I'm like I put myself to sleep most nights with toys so like this is very important to me and they were like well your uterus contracts in orgasms so like probably not like let's just wait until the post op appointment so um when I went in for my post op appointment this past week um I asked if I was cleared and she's like oh I remember you now about the toys like yep and that's going home to my vibrator but I wouldn't even think to ask that yeah no and then be like um I'm gonna get in trouble yeah yeah and she said she had never gotten that question before so like clearly nobody else is worrying about making their toy for surgery that's great well we you spoke a bit about how you did prepare for the surgery mentally and emotionally um and the the um recovery being so long like not being able to stand not being able to move very much how did that affect you as a mom as a partner how did that go yeah so I think we knew um going into it that like I would be on bed rest I think my husband really knew even if I thought I was gonna be up and moving sooner than I actually was um so my husband has been an absolutely super dad you know um he he normally cooks for family um dinners and I was able to kind of pre-prep a lot of like breakfasts and lunches before surgery so I did a lot of freezer meal preps um ahead of time but he's been you know getting the kids ready for school driving them to and from school making sure that I had all of my like beverages that I needed before he left um to drive them in um bringing me um all of my supplements bringing me all of my like anti-inflammatory drinks like turmeric milk and um tart cherry juice and stuff like that. So he's been taking immense care for me. And then something that I wasn't prepared for but um I have been talking about um in some of my post um op videos was they tell you that you're gonna need to take a stool softener. And that's something that most women are aware of because you need to take a stool softener after birth because you you get constipated and then it's hard to poop. But after surgery if you do not take a stool softener you're gonna be in the most immense pain. And so because of where the sutures are again I have all this tailbone pain but pooping was worse than giving birth. I would rather give birth because every time you poop it feels like you're giving birth. So like for the first week I would say pooping was the most extra like excruciating thing I have ever experienced. I would need my peri bottle to be able to like relax my muscles and then I was howling and moaning as if I was giving birth like the pain was so so excruciating that I needed to like vocally yell just to get through a poop which was which was mind blowing to me. But if you yeah so like stool softeners take the I was given like a clear lax prescription and then I was drinking magnesium com for at least two to three weeks.

SPEAKER_00 38:29

Were you even feeling that going to the bathroom uh going poop you were even feeling that excruciating pain with the stool softeners yes yeah yeah it's just like as it goes through your intestines it and then as it like passes the sutures it's so excruciating.

SPEAKER_04 38:48

Yeah yeah and then because of the rectal repair um there there is um like there's a vaginal wall um suture for like to fix the the rectum um and they put your rectum back I I actually don't know the exact but like when they put your rectum back in and your bladder back in I don't know if they actually like suture anything back into place um other because like I don't understand why they would just like cut into your vaginal wall push things back into place and not worry that they would fall down. Like they sutured the uterus. So I feel like there's more sutures in there but yeah pooping was so excruciating. That was the only thing I was really not prepared for and so I've been talking about in a couple of my videos just to prepare some women like take your sool softeners use your peri bottle um I remember probably like at the three week mark I came out of the washroom one day and my son Ryland goes Mommy you didn't yell this time screaming for like the first three weeks which was which was so vulnerable. Yeah I'm so glad I had my family but it's really really hard to have your kids see you in such like a vulnerable position.

SPEAKER_01 40:02

Well you know um now that you say that I remember um obviously on a a different scale but there was a woman that I knew she had three boys back to back and um I don't know at what age her kids were when she got the bladder repair because throughout their whole life they had never seen their mom laugh um because she couldn't because if she laughed she would peer pants um she couldn't run she couldn't jump on the the trampoline with them or anything and so you don't really realize how much something like that impacts actually we we just did a podcast right before this with um a woman who is a periodontist and um we were talking about people who um that have like gum disease and um you know don't like the way that their gold they won't smile. And you don't realize how much it impacts your everyday movements or or life and then how it trickles down to your family as well and what they don't see anymore or they've never been able to experience with you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 41:20

My daughter loves to run she is gonna be like an amazing runner. She she's built like a tank like she just like trucks down the driveway and um she always wants me to run with her and I can't um and so that was that was like the hardest thing of the last few years is um she'll go, oh mommy can't run with me. And like hearing her say that has been so hard. My husband for my birthday last summer got me um like a not like a not a road bike like uh kind of like a gravel bike because we live out in the country and he's like so you can bike beside her I'm like babe how do you expect me to sit on a bike with that I like I can't like it's I don't even when I was sitting normally I would never sit straight down because I had so much organs sticking out that it was just uncomfortable. I was like there was no way I was gonna sit on a bike but he was trying to do something kind for me. You know she loves running you know you can ride the bike beside her and I was like it doesn't really work. And this was before we knew I was having surgery. So that was really really hard is just like seeing my husband being able to like physically do stuff with my kids that I can't do. I have a couple of videos on my Instagram and TikTok with like my husband doing workouts with my kids and I'm doing like my workout in the gym while they're running around outside. So it's been very hard to like not be able to like physically participate in my very active family. So will you now be able to or do you not know yeah so I'm going to take it slow in terms of healing like I'm not gonna try to run tomorrow um I can barely walk for 15 minutes on the treadmill right now. But I am hoping that like at least in a year's time I will be able to start training my body to run again. So I'm gonna give it at least a year to properly heal my pelvic floor. And do you have to go and see a physiotherapist still for yeah so I'm starting pelvic floor physiotherapy next week and I see my osteopath the week after um so those are kind of like my priorities for the next three months.

SPEAKER_00 43:33

Good wow so you just had your surgery on November 18th and you're in the healing phase. What has this recovery taught you about patience, self compassion and your body um in midlife I think what's interesting about um this recovery is the other like young comment that was

SPEAKER_04 44:00

made was when I got out of surgery, it was supposed to be a day surgery. I was supposed to go home the same day and I was in a lot of pain. And after surgery, you have a catheter in. And one of your goals after surgery is to you have to be able to void your bladder twice successfully before they'll send you home. And so they tried taking the catheter out and um I couldn't even walk to the washroom without assistance. And when I got to the bathroom I was shaking and I was in so much pain I couldn't relax my pelvic floor and I couldn't void. And so they um they let you try again like maybe an hour later still couldn't void. And I had a full bladder because they also fill your bladder with um saline. And so after the second time not voiding they put back the catheter and they're like we'll keep you overnight for observation but we'll send you home tomorrow morning. And I was like okay but like what if I can't take the they're like we're not going to take the catheter out like you're going home with the catheter. And I was like what? And I had no clue. I was like I don't want a catheter in at home. And so I had like booked an appointment three or four days later to go into the hospital have it removed. They tried again couldn't void my bladder. I was in so much pain that I couldn't relax my pelvic floor. And so I had Kathy the catheter in for a week and a half and when I was finally able to get rid of her and void my bladder I was so proud of myself.

SPEAKER_05 45:36

It's just like I'm an overachiever so like being told that my body is not okay is not fun.

SPEAKER_04 45:43

So I was very like it's very frustrating. Thankfully with my MS diagnosis I have had to learn to be kind to my body I have had to learn that like I am in a partnership with my body that I'm not in a fight um that I have to listen to her I have to work with her. And so just all of these things will teach you that like your timeline is not like just stop having timelines and listen to your body as you go. You know so me expecting to be all better in two weeks was ridiculous. Having a better idea of like it sh it you know most people take six to eight weeks for the pain to completely subside that makes more sense. So I'm learning to again listen to my body not get frustrated with her I'm also learning um that like it's okay to ask for help. So I went into this you know a lot in a much better mindset than um post-birth. You know I've I've asked for help where I need it. I can't even lift laundry baskets so like my husband has to carry them downstairs. But it's it's just me saying like hey babe I need you to carry the laundry basket downstairs and then he'll just go and do the laundry like it's not getting done the right way but it's getting done and so it's also like it's it's relinquishing control. But like this is something I learned after the birth of the kid. So like everything I've gone through is teaching me a little bit more and you know asking for support I actually stayed at my parents' house um because we were closer to the hospital for a couple of days. And like I was weighted on hand in foot. And so it's just it's so nice to have the support. It's so nice to have people actually truly like nurture you when you need it. So I'm not I'm not ashamed to like ask for support and help when I when I need it. So that's definitely been a good lesson. But in terms of patience like I don't I I don't think I'll ever truly learn patience because it is very frustrating to be bedridden for this long. It's very frustrating to I call it like I was bedrotting. Like there was only so much um reality TV I could watch. I read the entire I I have it in my chat I have I've read all five books of the Avatar series because like I needed to do something else other than watching like Netflix or Prime. So I got back into reading fiction. Also I was working the entire time because I work remotely I was taking meetings from my bed and my coworkers are like are you crazy? Like like I my brain's fine I I would rather work like I can work from the bed. The minute this meeting is over I'm gonna go back to being horizontal. Like I sat up for 30 minutes. Like I'm good.

SPEAKER_00 48:43

I think that's part of what makes it so difficult too like when you you like you said that you wanted like you thought you were going to be fine within how like a few days or whatever. And like mentally you feel like no I'm fine like I feel fine. I'm ready to work I'm I want to get back to the to the things around the house but your body can't do it. And especially for people who are active and people who are used to kind of doing things uh it's difficult to then stop even though it's necessary.

SPEAKER_05 49:12

I think the the funniest thing was when I went to get the catheter out the nurse goes um so uh are you off for six weeks like are you enjoying having the time off and I laughed I'm like not off I'm like I have a meeting in an hour like I'm gonna take it from the car on the way home. She's like what do you do for work?

SPEAKER_04 49:34

I'm like I work remotely for a web three marketing agency um but like yeah I can take calls from the car or from my like it doesn't matter and I would much rather stay on top of my client work than have to like catch up after after six weeks. So yeah um it was the same when I was diagnosed with MS I was back to work a week after and that's not for everyone um and it's not to say like my husband will probably like make a comment like she doesn't really know how to rest but like I am I have been in bed I have been reading I have been resting um I just need to exercise my brain and make sure I don't um feel like I'm cognitively declining.

SPEAKER_00 50:16

Yeah I get that everything that you've been through with the pelvic organ prolapse and everything. Is there anything that you wish more women knew about pelvic organ prolapse, especially those I after childbirth or even entering into perimenopause and menopause?

SPEAKER_04 50:37

I think the biggest thing that I didn't know was that sometimes surgery is your best option. And so if I had known earlier like in 2021 when I had gone in to get fitted for the pessary if I had been told that you know if my ligaments were destroyed during birth and there was no way that I was going to be able to strengthen the vaginal wall muscles to be able to lift things back in if it was so bad at that point and I had the surgery done then it might not have been so extreme. Like I had three surgeries in one but maybe it was just the bladder back in 2021 and I was only going to have to have a cystical instead of the three in one. So I wish more women knew that surgery is not failure. I think I was thinking of it as failure that like I'm not strong, I'm not doing my exercises but maybe surgery is the only option and it increases your quality of life like the fact that I now can wear the I can wear a thong again like that's going to be very exciting after I heal um I can wear normal underwear um I could possibly have a tampon in instead of you know wearing period underwear like there's certain things I can you know learn to run again. So like my quality of life is going to increase I'll be able to do things that I haven't been able to do because of the surgery. So I'm not seeing surgery as failure. I'm seeing it as something that you know we haven't really had that option and sometimes you know we're if especially if you're in a holistic world of health and you're into like a natural world world of health you might see surgery as a failure. I just don't I don't see it as that anymore because it's going to be able to provide me with a a great quality.

SPEAKER_01 52:33

Right. And I think there's so many um they've come so far in terms of like even um bladder prolapse that is is quite common. They can do it in so many different ways now and you're not you know you're not out for a long period of time. And um and I know of a lot of people who are actually on a wait list to get the bladder what do you call it bladder repair or is that what it's called? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 53:06

Yeah um and these are also women who um are in their late 60s um that are now experiencing may have had kids may not have had kids um where I have actually seen a couple of things brought up is um in Alberta if you have a bladder prolapse you're given a video that you have to watch and the video apparently um is very positioned in a way that this is actually your fault this is something that you um you did wrong the these were things that you should have been doing beforehand it's awful it's awful um which is really sad to hear yeah and not enough women are talking about their prolapse or what they're doing like not enough women are talking about pelvic floor physiotherapy or strengthening and stretching exercise relaxing exercises nobody's talking about the surgeries nobody's talking about the healing um and so yeah it's like with anything with our bodies um whether it's a health diagnosis or whether it's an injury you know there's it's very hard to like not think it's our fault or like could we have done something better. But again like we only see things in hindsight and we have to be patient with ourselves wherever we're at at that moment.

SPEAKER_01 54:32

Well no I think with the even with the bladder prolapse it goes as far as um and it's more my exposure but it goes as far as like oh every time I jump or I can't skip because I'm gonna pee my pants that's about as far as it goes. No one else talks about anything else other than that. Maybe you'll get a couple of conversations about having to go and see a pelvic floor therapist and and get a bit of work or you know talking about um Keagles but that's about as far as it goes.

SPEAKER_04 55:05

Yeah. And not enough is done and it depends on your pelvic floor physiotherapist. I have seen maybe like 10 different pelvic floor physiotherapists and some will make you rely on them so that you have to go in for appointments. Some will teach you what you can do at home. And it needs to be a combination you need to be able to work with physiotherapists but you need to be able to go home and know exactly what to do on a daily basis to relax your pelvic floor and strengthen it, what tools you can use. Like I finally found a physiotherapist who taught me how to use a wand properly so that I can release my sacrospinus ligament on my own that I don't have to go in for manual release. And so it when you're going for physiotherapy pre-prolapse and I think every woman should go for pelvic floor physiotherapy whether they've had children or whether they are experiencing a prolapse because it's a proactive you know if you go to massage therapy once a month you should be going to pelvic floor physiotherapy and you should be dating them. So you should be dating your physiotherapist to make sure that they're the right fit. You know, ask them questions in terms of like how do they work with their patients? What type of exercises are they going to give you to go home and work with? Are they going to um you know make sure that they are checking you whenever you're going in to see if you're actually getting stronger or you're actually able to relax your pelvic floor because you need to be able to do both. So yeah I would date a pelvic floor physiotherapist to find the right fit and make sure that you're not just like reliant on manual care.

SPEAKER_00 56:51

As a final question if a woman listening feels like something in their body isn't right but they've been dismissed or been told oh just go do this you'll be fine what would you want her to hear from you today?

SPEAKER_04 57:08

So in Canada I don't know where like what the kind of the process is anywhere else you can book a physiotherapist a pelvic floor physiotherapist appointment without having a referral some places might need the family doctor referral. So like go to your family doctor or book a physiotherapist and say I'm experiencing this what are your recommendations they will need to a pelvic floor physiotherapist will need to manually examine you so you have to um like a lot of women need to figure out that like you will be taking off your pants and you know spreading your legs for them and they will be asking permission to manually examine you because they need to feel the strength of your pelvic floor and they need to be able to feel if you're actually able to relax it properly. So I think that's what a lot of women don't know is that you have to be able to do both and sometimes that manual exam they need to be able to feel your muscles to see if you're doing it properly. And then just like speaking up for yourself. If you're going to see a pelvic floor physiotherapist and they're saying that there's not any really issues and they're examining you lying down only have them examine you standing up if you're only experiencing pelvic floor prolapse symptoms if you're only feeling like downward pressure when you're standing have them examine you standing up that's the sign of a really good physiotherapist is they'll examine you standing because your prolapse might only be presenting with that gravity with that downward pressure. And they should also be examining you if you're physically active doing squats or things like that so that like they can tell you whether or not you're properly bracing yourself in physical exercise. Yeah so just like speak up find the right partner and find the right healthcare team that will um really support you but um don't don't let it go longer. So like learn from my mistake you know I was in the depths of twin motherhood and I let the prolapse go too long. If it you know it's something that can get worse and it's easier to address it when it's still um a lesser grade.

SPEAKER_01 59:18

I think you are like the true sign of resiliency. Um everything that you've been through and and I I can't even remember when when was it that you were diagnosed with MS 2014.

SPEAKER_04 59:34

So a oh it'll be 12 years I probably known you since like 2010, 20 2009 something like that. Yeah you've been through a lot yeah um and the one lesson that I've learned so every single year I pick my core desired feelings for the year and um I had picked the light vibrant because I want to feel vibrant in my body and then I had picked unshakable because I obviously like I want to be unshakable and um I can't remember what the other one was and I told my husband over the holidays the the the words and he's like what were your last year's words like let me just and I had said last year to 2025 I wanted to be magnetic I wanted to be challenged I wanted um something that and then two others but the important one is I wanted to be challenged. I wanted to challenge myself in building some new streams of income for myself but instead I manifested challenge we had quite a challenging year.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:43

So when I told him I my one of my words was unshakable he's like no shake like that out yeah yeah like a dicker not like I dare you I dare you to shake me no like the universe is not going to shake us this year so like unshakeable is cracked out and the new word is ease is what? Which I ease like I am calling in a life of ease free of this year. It is so important no matter like you can be a resilient person but like stop manifesting yeah so I am calling in ease this year instead of unshakable situations.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:28

Speaking of other streams of income you have a journal don't you is it a journal no it's a planner.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:36

Right um so that's what I was talking about is like I have this entire like planning method at the the front where you like pick your core desired feelings your values you do a life audit and then set lifestyle goals but that's where um like unshapable is now ease.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:53

Post out for you have have your realistic partner take a look at your core desired feelings.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:02

Yeah. So I launched I launched I've had it for a few years but this is my first like beautiful hardcover one. So I launched it um and I still have several 2026 um editions left over so it's just essentialplanner.ca if anybody wants a a a nice hardcore hard hardcover planner. Good for you.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:22

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:23

Yeah and if people want to follow you on TikTok Instagram what's your what's your handles yeah so I'm doing the restoring me series where I'm talking about so there's lots of episodes me prepping for surgery and post surgery so on Instagram I'm at Robin Pino Robin with a Y and P I N E A U L T and then TikTok it's Robin dot Pino because someone already had yeah okay there's more of you out there yeah well thank you for coming on and sharing your story and enlightening us with um so much of everything that you've been through so I appreciate everything for sharing my story thank you so much Robin we'll talk to you soon thank you thanks for joining us on Press Intentions.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:18

We hope you felt seen supported and maybe had a few laughs along the way don't forget to share subscribe rate and review us your support keeps the conversation alive. Follow us on social media for more insights behind the scenes fun and updates on future episodes got a topic you want us to dive into? We'd love to hear from you. Remember, life's too short for bad bras, toxic relationships and kale you don't actually like so until next time stay bold and keep your best intentions exactly where they belong front and center. Now go crush midlife or at least today's to do list. Cheers