Let Your Freak Flag Fly | Authenticity, Weirdness, & Owning it All

Welcome to Episode 2 of the Generational Tea Podcast | Let Your Freak Flag Fly! Tune in as we discuss what authenticity really means, how feeling awkward plays into that, what authentic dialogue is (and what it's not), as well as tips for embracing your truest self.

• Intro music by Cymatix
• Graphic by @makariann
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Transcript

0:12

Oh, we didn't turn on both ring lights. Hold on. Oh. Oh. I was wondering why you look better than me. Actually, now I look as good as you. I was like, what is wrong with my face? We are live right now from South Carolina and it's snowing. Yes! Do you know anything about South Carolina? This is not the norm. Absolutely not. The last snow day we had was probably three years ago and I was actually living in South With Ronnie, my mother in law and my father in law for a short stint of time, well, me and her son were engaged and now me and him are living with them for a little bit, which is perfect for us launching our podcasts, but we get to have another snow day. I'm excited about it. I actually moved from Colorado because I hate. Snow and cold weather, but I like it every three years. That seems about good. Yeah. Yeah about three days Every three years sounds perfect. Yes Yes Well, welcome to the first episode of the generational tea podcast. I am your co host kena and I am ronnie are we doing this podcast kena That's a great question, Ronnie. So we actually were planning on writing a book together and I started another podcast with a friend and I just really loved doing that and I felt like we would be able to reach more people and talk about. More things. If we were to turn this book idea of ours into a podcast and essentially our idea for a book was something to help women. Kana and I have aligned, together and have, a powerful. Message just about real life stuff. She and I together could cover a lot of life's biggest bloopers for sure. And, you know, we just want other people to learn from us, not have to go through the same mistakes, you know, learn it by somebody else's story so that your story can be free from it. we want to empower women in a way that is, honoring to society, to their spiritual world, and, and do that in a way that is, honoring to whatever that is. So, Kena and I have committed that we are going to, go forth with this. And just see how many people can be impacted, not by just our stories. we will do episodes where we will have you guys tell us your stories because every day I promise you anything that we talk about on this podcast, we have lived it. And most of the time with me, I've lived it, closer to launch rather than later. Um, it's like you get a fresh sense of, Oh, no, I'm not over that. I'm going to choose to be over that, but I need to further. Move within my healing process. Yeah. Like Ronnie was saying, just to reiterate, we want to amplify voices, especially woman voices. And a lot of the things we talk about, you know, her and I will have experiences and. We're going to be able to relate to that and share what our journey looks like in that sense. But we are going to have a lot of interviews, every one out of three episodes or something like that will be us having a guest speaker on, whether it's one of our fans, or it's someone that we know, or someone that we have found online that we think has an interesting story and we want to dig deeper into that. So a lot of it is going to be amplifying. The voices of others and creating a platform where collectively we can grow and learn from each other. Cause I think as women, we have a lot to learn from each other, especially because there's so much in our world that is, you know, telling us how to be and what to be and how to act and how to heal and to be quiet or there's so many different things, but we just want to create a place where we can talk about all this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you guys will learn as you get to know Ronnie on our podcast, but she's everyone's best friend. And she knows so many people that struggle with so many different things. And then also her life story. I'm excited for you guys to learn it as we peel back the layers, but she's been through so much and she has so much wisdom to share. So part of the podcast idea was I wanted her to have a platform. To help other people. So people can learn from her because I have learned tremendous amount from her and we've known each other for five years now and still learning more from her. So I'm excited. it's honestly, weird concept, a mother and daughter in law podcast. I'm hoping that'll be our niche and that will draw people to us, but I'm just really excited to help women on this podcast. That's really our mission, help women and, and people. So if you're. A man listening to this, that's not to say that you won't learn anything. So some of our episodes are going to be focused towards women's issues and mostly women will be listening to this podcast, but that's not to say if you're a different gender, you can still learn something from the episodes. So yeah, that's our mission. go look at our intro episode. We're going to talk about that more in depth as well as our backgrounds, but we just wanted to quickly reiterate the mission and our intro, especially since this is our first episode. First, so it's crazy. We had so many technical difficulties. Oh my goodness. Yeah. So this thing is going to either explode or implode. And if it implodes, it'll be because we get frustrated. That's right. That's right. But we do have some good technical directors. Yes, behind the scenes, we have a whole staff who knows, maybe one of our staff members will bring us some hot tea soon. Yes. Something like that. Coffee sounds good. Yeah. Yeah. But all right, well, let's get into the beef. Well, the tea, my bad. Let's get into the tea. So the bulk of our episode today, we're going to be talking about authenticity, kind of breaking down what it really means and how to bridge that. With feeling awkward and going from feeling awkward to realizing that that might be authentic and how to get out of that uncomfortable feeling of being yourself. There's a lot to unpack there, obviously, and we're not going to be able to touch on everything that's important that goes along with authenticity. So if you do want to hear more about us talking about it, or if you think we missed something that would be important to touch on, Go ahead and leave a comment or you can reach out to us on our socials at generational tea pod. since we are making this a collaborative collective kind of platform, we want people to be constantly reaching out to us. Give us your feedback, give us your questions, let us know if you want to hear us talk about something totally unrelated, let us know we're going to be taking in a lot of that data. So yes. Talk to us. Awesome. yeah, you know, you talk about authenticity and, and what that looks like, authenticity can, be a feel good word. I think it's used, Maybe not with the same weight that it was 10, 20 years ago,, in a culture where there's really no absolutes, it's really hard to gauge authenticity.. Yeah, so we wanted to talk about authenticity, in our release batch of episodes, because this is something that Ronnie has helped me with tremendously. I mean, do you think I'm a Different person, more authentic, more confident from the first time you met me five years ago. Oh yeah. My son Weston, is Kaina's husband. And, I think he maybe gave me 48 hours, but I don't think it was 48 hours. I think it was way less than that, but he's like, I've got this girl. I'm gonna bring her home. And we are panicking. We were redoing our upstairs bedrooms at the time. So, we threw a mattress, On the floor and, uh, that's where Kena was able to sleep but, uh, I'm gonna be honest, I snuck over to his room. I, blah, blah, blah, blah. Um, no, but, he was telling me about Kena for the 1st time as he was probably driving down the road to arrive in 4 or 5 hours. So I didn't have a lot to go on. I knew where she was from. I knew she was at Carson Newman, volleyball player. So I figured she couldn't be half bad if she somehow managed to get to little Jefferson city. Tennessee from Fort Collins, Colorado. So that was very interesting. But, Weston never really brought a whole lot of girls home. So I had no idea like how to prepare for this. I knew one day I would have to, but, at any rate. I knew that also she was a political science major and so that part and where she was from, I kind of thought, okay, I've got this feminist going to run through my house, break down the door and take over my child. Um, no, it wasn't. Wasn't wrong. It's not in the way you thought. I'm a little more subtle. Yeah. Yeah. She ended up sliding in, but you know, when your expectations are so low, anything can be a win. Well, I'm glad they were low. Cause I was able to exceed your expectations. Absolutely. But I remember meeting you guys and at that point in my life, I was so, Insecure and it wasn't like I was inauthentic necessarily, but I was really in just a mindset where I was. Constantly worried about what other people were thinking of me and my actions and how other people would perceive me. Just so in my head about everything I was doing that I felt like I wasn't able to be authentic in the way that I am today. And in the past, one to two years, I really broke through that and we'll get into this in the episode. I'll share a little bit more on my journey but part of it was Ronnie. She lives life unapologetically. you'll notice real fast if you haven't already. And that inspired me. I was like, I want to be a woman like that, that. Speaks freely. She's confident and she's always the same version of herself. Like you were just radiating authenticity. And that really spurred my growth journey and becoming a more authentic, confident person. That's why we felt like this was so important to talk about, especially as one of our first episodes. Is it something that's close to my heart? And. You demonstrate it so well and it's something that I think a lot of people struggle with. So we're going to get into it today and really dive into what authenticity means, what it means to have authentic dialogue., We're going to talk about some things that are killers to authenticity and how to work around those and talking about the phrase fake it till you make it, because I've heard that so many times and I've tried to fake it till I make it. So we'll get into it. Lots of good stuff to talk about today. Before we get into this conversation I feel like it's a feel good buzzword and it's used a lot like be yourself, be authentic. But what does that really mean? Let's break it down. So Ronnie, what do you think being authentic really means? Authenticity to me really means being. And honest with who you are, being okay in your own skin. One thing earlier in my life that I struggled with was silence. And I think somebody who is okay in silence that tells me. Volumes about their authenticity because, they're not trying to fill every gap with, busyness or stimulation. I agree. Well, definitely in the past, I have felt so disturbed, like just so incredibly awkward dealing with silence, especially with someone that you're not a hundred percent comfortable with, but I've noticed, and maybe this is a good, marker of your, Growth, but now when I have awkward silences, sometimes it's still a little weird depending on who I'm talking to But I don't feel like the silence is reflecting on myself in a bad way I definitely don't feel as put off by it or awkward or Feeling like I have to say something, keep the conversation going. Cause sometimes you just don't need to keep the conversation going. Yeah. And I want to speak to that about you, Kena, cause, another way that I kind of gauge or it points me to authenticity in someone is, really do they ask questions? Are they interested in you, or is every moment filled with what they're doing and how well their children are? And I think it means a lot. So I'm not even sure, maybe within a few hours of, Weston bringing you home that day, we went out and did some shopping and, 1 of the very 1st interactions that I remember so vividly. About Kena and we were riding in the car going to Nordstrom Rack. Shout out to Nordstrom Rack out there. We love you. Especially if you have a huge foot like I do. I have the waffle feet. Okay. They're huge. I wear size 11 and Nordstrom Rack is the only place that has a size 11. Solid selection of size 10 plus exactly. But anyways, but anyways, we digress, but, back on track, I know exactly where we were, where I've never even shared this with Kena. So when you think you've shared everything, there's always something else, but, sitting at an intersection and she just began to ask me questions. I don't even remember what the questions were. And I certainly don't remember my answers. But what, resonated with me was, you know, this person's interested in me. what we want to see happen is the way our personal relationships, the way we interact in a family, if, we can become the most authentic form of ourselves, I feel like that our approach to dealing with some stuff like that is, is really important. Is going to be maybe a smoother transition. I definitely think authenticity deals a lot with you being self aware, knowing yourself and being consistent with your inner beliefs and expressing that outwardly, no matter if you're going through a difficult conversation, if you're being pressured to do something else, I think it all relates back to yourself and if you know yourself and you're authentic and you practice. Being that person, you will be a great communicator, I think. And you'll be able to handle difficult situations better and you'll be able to. Even inspire people around you to be more authentic. Cause a lot of authenticity, like obviously I just said, it comes from yourself, but being authentic, a lot of times happens in your relationships. And when you're out socializing so let's talk more about awkward to authentic and I think people confuse it and I don't think it's one or the other. Sometimes when you're authentic, you might feel a little awkward and that's okay. Sometimes situations are awkward, but just because you're being yourself and you're having these feelings doesn't mean. necessarily. Does that make sense? Being authentic is more about who you are on the inside and the intent behind your actions. So if you're in an awkward situation or you're feeling awkward, as long as you're sticking to who being consistent with your inner self and making sure your intentions are good, you don't have to feel awkward. I feel like that's a mental block that you can move past. Absolutely. In fact, I would venture to suggest that perhaps the Vulnerability of being awkward connects to our authentic self. Yes. I think doing the awkward. Things are the uncomfortable things when you don't feel like it begins to create pathways, neurologically to repeat that. Yeah. And then you repeat it again and again, and then it begins to form out in your everyday life. with little fingerlings all in your relationships. And then I think before you know it, you're going to be like, I haven't, I haven't lied to myself today. I haven't decided that, you know, my voice didn't matter today. And I can feel that when. You said lying to yourself where I'm feeling one way on the inside and I'm expressing something else outwardly it creates such an internal cognitive dissonance and it makes me feel so Distraught, I guess, on the inside. Cause when you're feeling one way and then you're acting in a different way, it's disconcerting and it's not how we're supposed to act. I like what you said about vulnerability, connecting to authenticity? Because I think we're all taught to wear these masks and like when someone asks, how are you? It's a conditioned response versus the vulnerability to be honest and expand on that and like removing that mask. So. People can see the real you and you can be honest because honestly, yeah, I don't like when someone asks me how I'm doing and I'm just like, yeah, I'm good because it's just like, well, maybe they don't want to hear blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Being vulnerable is so important, even in little things. And I feel like that helps you build on top of your authenticity and create those habits of authenticity. Like you were saying, like the neural pathways. Yeah. Yeah. There's times where it's always going to rear its ugly head. there'll be situations, you know, in general, I'm a very confident person, but to say that there aren't issues or there aren't times when I question myself, I think sometimes what happens is when we have an enemy and they are putting pressure on us. it will cause things to come to mind that you've not dealt with before. And that's a big part, of just, establishing that this is not always how I'm going to feel. you know, like you were saying, feeling one way. But expressing yourself in another, there are times when we have to do that. I think we cannot always live in that mode. Yeah. and I believe that when we surround ourselves with yes people, we can tend to live in that mode. Mm hmm. Yeah, I agree. So, that can be, really something to deal with. Yeah, I want to talk a little bit more about that feeling of awkwardness and not letting that block your authenticity or make you feel like you're not being authentic because, We're going to do new stuff. We're going to try new things. And when you try something new, or you're in a situation where you haven't been before, you're just generally out of your comfort zone. Honestly, you're bound to look and feel awkward, but this does not mean that you're not being authentic. It means you're doing something new and you might feel a little silly. You might feel a little awkward. You might feel a little uncomfortable, but that doesn't mean you're inauthentic. Awkwardness is often a sign of genuine intent, I feel like. So I think you can almost view awkwardness as a positive thing in that light. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Like we were saying earlier, just the fact that someone is even open to feeling uncomfortable in a situation really pushes that awkwardness, I guess. it's almost like a kickstart, you know, it's that diving board into the rest of the conversation and like pushing through that. And every time we push through that feeling of awkwardness, it just becomes easier and easier. And then suddenly again, you're at a place where you're like, you know, this 2 months ago would have. Put me out. Yeah. but yeah. Yeah. I feel like awkwardness has such a stigma. Well, I don't know if stigma is the right word, but no one ever wants to feel awkward, right? Because we're all conditioned to have our, our mask on, act like we have our shit together all the time. Like, we know what we're doing. I'm cool, I'm smart, I'm attractive, whatever it is. I don't think people. Want to avoid looking awkward or feeling awkward and sometimes I think we're inauthentic to avoid that Yeah, instead of putting out the true front. I don't know what I'm doing But I'm trying my best. Yeah, and I'm gonna be authentic said Don't ever, when you look and feel awkward, try to change that to where you're not viewing it as a negative thing and viewing it as a positive thing because you're showing your genuine intent and you're showing like, I don't know how to do everything and that's okay. I don't know how to handle the situation and that's okay. I feel a little awkward, but let's communicate and work through this. You know, it applies to so many different situations, but what do you think? Yeah, for sure. I think one of the, stillers of authenticity can be, activity. at times in my own personal life when I was dealing with something, that I really couldn't, allow myself to sit in it because I had commitments, I had obligations, I had things I needed to push through for, and so what can happen in a situation like that is it's not about what does this person need? As I sit in it, it's about what kind of activity can I do? What's the task at hand? you're filling up space, you're filling up time. and I think that for sure is a, what is it? Roadblock. That's okay. I do like the being rather than doing. Yes, yes. When we're being, we are aware of our presence. And we're going to do a highlight on a book that talks about a lot of that just being, instead of filling up every second of every time. And, you know, it's almost like a mouse on a wheel because the more painful it gets, the more you do, the more you do, the more you want to stay. stimulated the more you want to, fill up the time, and all this can be derived just by, you're not even in a crowd. No one else is doing this to you. You've just taken it all. Yeah. So, when we have the opportunity, I think we should always try to, just gather your thoughts and try your best to be present. With the person that you're with, because if that's just the first step, we, as, people who are pursuing authenticity, we are pursuing living lives that are building up of one another and that aren't wrapped up in jealousy, that part, we have to pay attention to. That part. That part. I'm sorry. No, you're good. Do you love to say that? I do. Okay. Let's see. So we have some questions that we wrote down that we kind of want to reflect on. And if you want to answer them too and send us your answers, just let us know. Do you think awkwardness is something you do or something you feel? Oh, I That is a complex question. Yeah. I tend to think it's something you feel almost like an emotion. Yes. I believe that. And you have to figure out how to work through that emotion, which is a lot of what we just talked about is realizing that it's not necessarily a bad thing when society views awkwardness as. A bad feeling. Well, yeah, for sure. I think before you can do awkward, you feel it. it happens to you. Like, it's something that rises up in you, in certain situations. Yeah. I feel like we view it as being awkward when it's a feeling that we have about our own behavior. Well, and then if that's our feeling, that being awkward is. Negative. Yeah. Then what is happening is we're judging somebody based on their actions. Yeah. Rather than their motive. For sure. Can you think of someone in your life who mirrors a hundred percent authenticity that you look up to in that respect? Yeah, I am so blessed to have, long term, girlfriend relationships. That is something that really wasn't mirrored in my home. I would say Claire. Yeah, I agree with that. I also know Claire She's actually the person who married me and my husband her son and I agree 100 percent 100 percent Claire is The same yesterday, today, tomorrow. What makes her authentic is the fact that she will say, you know, I messed up or she'll say, Rhonda, Please remove rebuke me if you need to but this is da da da da da and Or she'll say well, I'm just gonna have to be tacky right now da da da da da and that part of Claire is what is so cool because people that are really authentic can be a little intimidating if you, if they're not, you are, you struggle with authenticity and confidence. You're so yeah. Yeah. So yeah. So yeah, I w I would say Claire's Right out there. Yeah. Well, you're the first one that comes to mind for me, but for the sake of choosing someone else, because you're right next to me, I would say my brother Tyson. He has such a radiant personality. And I would say he's radically himself. I've never once in any element seen him feel awkward, see him be pressured by anything. He's just so himself and he knows what he wants and he knows how to communicate what he wants and he does, what he loves. And he's just, So a hundred percent himself. I've never seen him not be himself. So that's to the second person would come to mind. And, if you need proof, we have, so, uh, yeah, at our wedding, which was in. Miranda's backyard. I made my brother my flower girl, and he just kind of ran away with it for everyone's benefits. Hopefully we'll get some pictures up. Be looking. Oh, I'll upload the whole video with his permission. But basically, he was like, do you mind if I do a Britney Spears song? I was like, obviously not. Do whatever. And he wore jean shorts, thigh high boots, A crop top glitter. I got him a sparkly fanny pack. That's a flower man or whatever. And he strutted his stuff, honey, in front of a bunch of conservative people. Unapologetically, that was just pure authenticness. He didn't feel awkward at all. So that that's my brother. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I think it would be good. Authenticity is something you struggle with or something you feel like you can improve on. Think of someone in your life who you feel like is the most authentic version of themselves and just think about how they do it and what it looks like to them and then try and think about what it looks like in your life. How can I also portray that? It won't look like someone else's authenticity. The thing about authenticity is it has to be your own version of it. Yeah, because you can't just marry someone else's needs to be your own and and what you'll find if you can't get to that question Yet, and you're still just trying to figure out what? Authenticity looks like how should it make me feel? Here's the thing find somebody in your there's somebody in your life that when you are with them you are relaxed and You are fully engaged. That person is fully engaged with you that Is that's the mentor you're looking for when someone can make you feel really relaxed and at home and at yourself, those are your authentic people in your life. Yeah, I agree. And sadly, it may not be people that you interact with every day, but, identifying those folks and really tapping into, the relationship that you have with them, I believe will, help. It's just kind of a little, instead of throw in the dark. It's a little bit closer to the target. Maybe that. I think that that's maybe why I struggled to connect with surface level people. Yeah. Is because I want to be as authentic as possible and practice that. And then when I'm talking to someone that's doesn't necessarily mean they're inauthentic, that they're surface level, but they're not willing to take off the mask of society, I don't know what we want to call it and be vulnerable and stuff. And that's the thing that I have trouble connecting with. So my, my peoples, my bestest friends are people like Ronnie that are just radically themselves and make me comfortable to also be the same way in front of them. Yeah. The biggest thing for me is translating my authenticity to people. I don't know people I just met just out doing an activity, work, everything like that. That's my big struggle for. Translating my authenticity, but I want to move on and talk about things that can really kill your authentic self. So biggest 1, and this is probably the biggest killer of my authentic self that I've struggled with is fear of judgment. probably about a year ago, I read something on social media that just. Flipped a switch for me and my brain it helped me look at my fear of judgment and my fear of being perceived in a certain way and take that and be like, what am I doing? Something along the lines of, if I'm worried that someone's making a judgment on me or how I'm acting, I am actually the one making a judgment on them that they are a judgmental person. And I was like, I hate that because I hate. People judge others, but by, by worrying about people judging me, I'm making a judgment on them and I don't like that. And that kind of helped me break out of that and be more authentic and worry less about what people think of me and think of my authentic self and just not be worried about that. societal pressures, obviously a huge one, especially for women. I think we're pressured to look and act and speak and feel in a certain way. And when our authentic self isn't fitting into that box, yes. It can be difficult to embrace it. Yeah, for sure. What you think? Yeah. And here's the thing about the pursuit of authenticity is getting to that point where those factors are even in your mind. let's take people pleasing. If we're walking around. And we want people to pour into us, pour into us, pour into us, pour into us. What happens is that person becomes the center and then they begin to bring in the people pleasing and then before you know, which is another killer to authenticity is before you know it, you've surrounded yourself with yes people. And so then what happens is you can, you. Walk in quote competence and still not be authentic. and think that's a big thing. is I don't know, I guess the, the vulnerability of being willing to be put out there. It's definitely important not to have all yes people in your life for sure. I think when you have all yes people that limits your personal growth, and if you're not growing and you're not improving yourself and you're not, aware of things that you're doing and you have people that won't ever challenge you or call you out then I think that can be difficult to be authentic in a way that mirrors what you want because you may not have done enough personal growth to realize what being authentic means. Does that make sense? Yeah. It's so muddled. There's so much that goes into all these little different things. So we'll probably have to do another episode on this in the future. We're just kind of talking it through and hoping that this will help you look at it in your own way, us kind of breaking it down. I do think when you have a lack of self worth, that can be a huge. killer of your authenticity. And I think that comes into play partially with the confidence. Do you feel like confidence and authenticity go hand in hand? Again, I think, they can go hand in hand. I do though. and maybe this is the difference between being confident and cocky. I mean, seriously, you've got people that are walking around with their chest out. You know, like a peacock who parade themselves around and appear to be very confident, but that is screaming their own inauthenticity. So I don't think they're mutually exclusive. I think if you have authenticity, it would. Be really hard to not be confident. That's what I was thinking too. Yeah, I agree. but I do think people can appear in a confident way, that really are dying inside and unfortunately that's more of what we see in our society than folks that are truly confident. Because of they're okay with who they are. Yeah, I agree. I think we need to do have a lack of self worth. That almost goes hand in hand with. People pleasing and a fear of judgment because since you're not finding your worth inside, you're seeking it from external sources, which you want to people please so that people like you so that your self worth feels a little better. You don't want people to judge you in a negative way. So you need to appear a certain way because you think that will help your self worth when really that's something that. Comes from just like self growth. Yeah. Well, that's a whole nother can of worms. We're not going to open, but yes, yes. As we go through the next. Section of this podcast, we didn't want anyone to walk away and not feel like they had, any kind of tool. to take the next step in your journey of that. And so, a few things we'll be going over is, you know, really positive self talk, being aware. So many times. We're not aware of what we tell ourselves, but at any point that we can turn that around, that will begin to help, comparison kills. yeah, that's I can't that that is a whole six week Session, honestly all of these we can do a whole episode or multiple episodes on how to reframe your thoughts Yeah, get out of negative thought thought cycles, but we want to give you a chance What we found and just to preface that we do some research and I make sure to get it from good sources, but we do do we do do we do some research, on our episodes and part of that. The tools we came up with is how to reverse the killers of your authentic self. So this is, this is where we got the information and we're not really going to expand on it today or this episode would be like 10 hours long. Yeah, but yes, definitely agree. Positive self talk. not getting stuck in the comparison mindset. Right. And then having realistic expectations, if you can manage your expectations, Your life was so radically changed to the point that it would be unrecognizable. So again, it is about not just managing your expectations of others, manage your expectations of yourself. when you. Believe that you're going out and you're like, I'm going to approach this relationship or this introduction as my authentic self, and then halfway through the conversation, you, you feel yourself make a switch, celebrate. The first half of that conversation, celebrate that, that victory and, it's like layers that, that you'll do, but, manage your expectations. we can't control other people. So that's really all we have. for sure. I think perfectionism comes into play there. And especially if you're on a road to be more authentic and it's something you're working on and how to apply it to all areas and relationships in your life. And this is something I struggle with too. Cause I'm definitely a perfectionist is I want the progress like that, which is not realistic. So I have to manage my expectations of my progress. And like you just said, if you, Are authentic for the first half of the conversation, celebrate that. That's a win. Yes. Because practice makes progress. Yes. Not perfect. Yes. So don't be frustrated when you don't feel like you're being authentic, or maybe you had to cut your losses and just be like, I'm good. My day was great, But just being realistic about your progress and looking long term, managing your expectations, it's huge. Yeah, I'm not really heard that practice makes progress. It always says practice makes perfect. I've also heard that perfect practice is the only thing that makes perfect, but I love practice makes progress because it is, it's just those tiny wins. If you will allow yourself to celebrate those, it will again lead to more and more celebrations until you're not even being aware of it. So this brings up, and this is one of our major talking points today, the phrase, fake it till you make it. Do you think it works? Oh, man. I think there are times in our lives, and I think it can work, as long as the motive is there. Is is pure like you're faking it because you know that that This is something I have to get through. This is a step in my journey and if you have something on the other side of it, the win is not just yeah who doing the next person or You know, not being yourself in the next, but I do. Think it depends on the situation. Maybe yes, there was this explanation. I can't remember what article I found it from. I actually think it might've been on a Reddit thread talking about fake it till you make it and whether it works. And it said, fake it till you make it is the ruse. So it can work, but not long term. Exactly. Practice makes perfect is the how to. That's good. So if you want long term changes, focus on practice makes perfect. And yeah, sometimes you might have to fake it till you make it. But practice being authentic. And eventually, your practice will turn into habits, which turn into progress. Yeah. For sure. Yeah, but I found it interesting fake it till you make it came up a lot when I was doing research on authenticity and just reading a lot of conversations on authenticity and there were people who said, yeah, fake it till you make it it works and there are people who said fake it till you make it but I mean, it's not really for long term, which I agree with for sure. Yeah, I think you have to know who you are. And choose who you want to be and practice the skills to be that person more often, which isn't really necessarily faking it until you make it. It's just practice. Yeah. It's, it's walking out a new mindset. Yeah. Your knee jerk reaction is probably to, if you struggle with being authentic all the time, your knee jerk reaction is going to be to put on your social mask and your. This is how I want people to perceive me. This isn't really who I am, but it's how I want people to perceive me. It's breaking out of that, you know? And I think eventually the progress that you make from practicing being authentic and being who you want to be and being who you are creates kind of a loop where I think when you are more authentic for the most part, if you're doing it, And a respectful way for sure. Cause if you're authentic, but you're being an asshole, then that's a whole nother issue. Exactly. Yes. But when you are certified, but first class ass, but I do think generally when you are authentic, people respond to it positively unless people have their own. They're insecure about their own authenticity and your authenticity is rubbing them the wrong way, or people are just uptight and they don't like the way you're acting because they think you should act a certain way, but those people suck. But anyways, I think people respond to it And. When you're getting these positive reactions, I think that in turn increases your confidence and your comfort level sliding into that authentic zone in all situations. Yeah. You agree? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I think fake it till you make it can apply in terms of body language. What do you think? Oh yeah. I think that sometimes, confident may be viewed as cocky, body language also is we need to look people in the eye. So here's a peek inside somebody else's life. If they can't look you in the eye, then they are struggling. And sometimes I love going into a room of a crowd and finding that person who feels down on themselves or the woman who's beautiful and has all this stuff, but she's dying inside kind of things. You can tell it in body language. For sure. I forget the statistic. It's a lot of our communication. Oh, yeah. And a lot of people aren't really aware of how to pick up on the signs of it. Yes. But I do think it's important and it can go with fake it till you make it, but I also think it can go with. Yeah. I need to, I'm still working on being authentic all the time and I do notice sometimes that my body language is displaying something else. Like I'm slumped, I'm looking around nervously instead of looking where I'm going and walking around. Like, I have a mission, which I do, but I sometimes feel awkward about it, but I don't know. I think there's a balance. Like, sometimes you have to fake it till you make it and then, but most of the time I think you should be focused on practice makes progress. Yeah. Are we on agreement? Yeah. Yeah. So we mentioned earlier that a lot of authenticity has to do with relationships and socialization. So we thought it would be important to feature a conversation on what authentic dialogue looks like, because it starts within you, knowing who you are, being consistent with your inner self, but it comes into play like you're, you're testing it and you're, Not necessarily proving it, but something along those lines when you're communicating with other people, whether it's a random person, it's your family, but the key to being authentic comes from our dialogue. So, this is maybe a way that you can evaluate your authenticity in a way. So what is authentic dialogue? Ronnie, you want to kind of give us a definition? first of all, let's talk about what it's not. I like that. start there. it's not small talk. Mm. it's not 1 side of conversations again, that loops us back to be drawn to people that ask you questions. Yeah. it's definitely, it's not. Lying,, it's not, expressing something as a ways to manipulate. Also a couple of things, it could be passive aggressive, which if you live in the South, it's kind of like, One of the four major food groups, I feel like, down here. Four major types of communication. For sure. It's like down here, you're like, looking at language and it says English, Spanish, passive aggressive, lying. Well, we've talked about this before, but I actually feel like in the Midwest, people are more authentic because I think in the South, Everyone wants to fit in that Southern charm of being hospitable and nice and sweet and everyone's putting on this facade of being that instead of just. Yeah, because yeah down. I don't think that's what everyone's feeling on the inside and those folks end up having their stories on a lifetime movie For sure, you know, we're the wrong excuse us We may or may not be back. We're going to try out this Netflix documentary. You could have done a Netflix documentary on me yesterday at the food line. Yeah. Yeah. Let's just have some aggressive as well. No, let's just call crazy. Yeah, yeah, the freaks come out at food line. I mean, it was a Thursday, y'all, it was, it was authentically absolute madhouse, madhouse. They were lined down the aisle. And one thing that I forgot about this particular grocery store is. They do not have self checkout. You are at the mercy of that cashier who's probably been blessed out 15 times today and, yeah, that's when the Southern people don't put on a facade. No, honey, there's no passive aggressivity when it comes to the potential for losing power or not being able to get our four wheel drive off the mountain, people go. Nuts y'all it's pretty crazy. It's pretty crazy. Actually. I'm thinking right now. I'm like, hmm Maybe that should be the netflix documentary Because I kid you not y'all this is on a friday They started talking the day meaning the weatherman people which I highly respect. Were talking about this winter storm coming and such and it was Monday. That's, five days early. The first flake hasn't fallen, there's not a cloud in the sky, and all of a sudden, our school district announces that they're going to cancel all of Friday's school activities. Five days! Do you know what can happen in five days? So anyways, If you're listening from the south, you probably understand. Yes. I hope you're laughing with me and please share your story. I would love to hear about your snow days. That's good. Well, I feel like we really captured what it's not. So let's talk about What it is authentic dialogue generally refers to open, honest conversations where the participants of that conversation can express their genuine thoughts and feelings without filtering themselves to fit into a certain social box or social expectations. And, it's interesting, we've been talking about small talk and I think we can all agree. Does it drive you crazy? Because it drives me nuts. I'm gonna tell ya, as you become more and more comfortable in your own skin, the tolerance is like sub C level. That's, that's where we are with this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is, it's frustrating and, you try your best to like redirect the conversation, but you still comes back to it. And so finally you're just like, okay, I'm just going to keep nodding. Yes. Yes. Until you're moved on to the next person for sure. It's definitely a challenge. when you're talking to let's say. Grandparent or someone you just spent that doesn't seem receptive to going past small talk. How do you balance feeling like you're being authentic with managing that conversation? Because it might end up just being small talk. Oh, well, if you're somebody like me, who's an open book and I'm just like, I think you're a great example. Hear me roar. You know, see me roar, those kinds of things. It's an issue. not only am I very extroverted, I also, love people. I get energy from crowds and. I can just feed off other people's energy with that. And I can get caught up in the moment. And because I guess I don't have a lot of barriers, let's say, you're my hero. I'm not guarded. I've never been a really guarded person because I know who I am in myself and I'm safe with that. but it is a definite, balance. Yes. and it is a check engine lights signal for me. If I Find somebody and I go too deep into the conversation too fast. So the oversharing part can come. Obviously, at whatever stage you are with authenticity, because none of us are perfect. None. Yeah, it's constant. It's a constant battle. It is a balance. And so for me, what helps me not. Get into that track is really standing back and evaluating, becoming more and more aware of some of those signs, like the small talk or, you know, not asking any questions, those things, if you can recognize those, the sooner you can recognize that, it doesn't mean that you have to abort mission, because there are going to be things that you have to do in your life, a lot of things. That we will have to do in our lives that we don't feel like doing it. And we know it's definitely not coming from a place of genuineness. and a lot of that is built on respect. Yeah, having said that, I think, recognizing the clues and picking up on things that you've, personally observed, or that we've mentioned, can help you More rapidly assess someone and it doesn't matter if you feel like they're your soulmate. You would never spill it all in that first conversation. But here's the thing. I can put so much energy into somebody and I have to be really careful because it's not like a tick for tat. It's not like a reciprocal thing. it's not like I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to put this level of energy into you. And if you don't repeat back that level of energy to me, then you're inauthentic. And you're no good for me. No, it's more of working through that thing and realizing that when you approach a conversation or, yes, we're talking about an initial conversation, you know, a lot of times initial conversations for me will like. I'll be at a party or whatever. And I'll see somebody across the room and I, there's just something about them. They're confident. They're standing up there, all these things. And it draws me to them. It doesn't mean that they're going to be forever my best friend. So I shouldn't go up to them and say, hi, I don't, I'm not sure if you know this yet, but we're going to be best friends in three days, but I would do it just in case. Well, it's so funny because I do feel like when we're just out and about together, whether it's the waitress at the restaurant or the cashier at the grocery store, you do not small talk, they'll ask, how are you? And it'll be like, well, her husband, and it's always in a funny way to like, put someone at ease, but I think that's a great way. Of being authentic and avoiding the small talk. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And I think back to the awkwardness thing, cause you talked about oversharing, I think when we overshare and someone doesn't reciprocate the level of comfort or authenticity back to us, we can feel super, super awkward and it can make us question our authenticity Especially if you've made some progress in that. And then you have like one off putting reaction, and you're questioning everything. Yeah. But I think it's important not to let your mind run away with you on that. Because not everyone's gonna have the same reaction to you, and it may not be a positive reaction. So all you can do is manage your expectations. Yes. And Worry about your own authenticity and your own responses. You know, I think there's a balance between being authentic and not oversharing depending on who you're conversating. Yes, but I think limiting how much you're sharing is not being inauthentic. No, no, you've got to be willing to be rejected and realize it's not personal. Everybody is not going to like, you know, as impressed as I am with myself and how much I love myself. You know, I think this might have been a major hurdle for me in my early 20s realizing that guess why everybody's not going to like you. I am the superwoman in my own mind and in my life. Yeah. So, well, I want to talk briefly and a lot of it may just seem obvious. The importance of authentic dialogue and what it can do to change things in our world. And part of the. The mission of this podcast is also to help us and help our listeners grow in a way that they can create positive change in the world. a lot of times we're going to be talking about topics and we're going to be touching on how this translates to benefits and making the world a better place. Cause that's something I'm really passionate about and I think you are too, Ronnie. So authentic conversations have the power to transcend. The everyday communications, like the small talk and the politeness and the social norms that want us to fit into these boxes. And we can go past that to something greater, something that can promote deeper understanding of each other, help us build trust more easily, foster deeper connections, whether that's in our existing relationships or someone we just met and like I said earlier, Authenticity inspires authenticity. So us being ourselves and sharing that in a social setting is allowing people around you to share their true selves, that fear of judgment, because that's what you're doing and you're leading the way in that. So yeah, be authentic. Cause you never know in what situation or what person that might touch and inspire. I'm not sure you knew when you met me that the way you act and the way you live unapologetically is something that was inspired me to, Take on that challenge in my own life and become that in my own way. And I also think it'll help society be more compassionate and more supportive of each other. If we're showing each other who we are and being honest about what we're going through and everything like that. I mean, the, the implications are limitless for how authenticity and authentic dialogue can impact your relationships and impact the world. If we get more people to start doing it and get that snowball effect going. Oh, yeah. some positive, authentic dialogue, some suggestions is active listening. This is repeating back. body language, Also asking relevant questions, those kind of things. Yeah. I want to touch on active listening. Cause I feel like that's something I struggle with. The reason I struggle with it goes back to worrying what other people think of me and how other people perceive me, like, while other people will be talking, I will be thinking about how I'm going to respond and what I want to say. And part of that is just me. I love to, like, think through my responses, but when you're having a conversation, that's not a luxury you have. And so I'm trying to pull myself out of that where I'm, trusting myself and. My ability to respond in the way that I want in an authentic way so that I can put my full attention while someone else is talking on what they're saying and taking it in and really hearing them out versus thinking about how I'm going to respond to it. Cause you lose some of the understanding when you're focused on your response to it. That is a big part of authentic dialogue because your responses aren't going to be authentic if you're not understanding what the other person is going to say to, to a degree. So definitely that. Yeah, I think also you have to, realize what you're bringing into a conversation or relationship. Like, what are some of the preconceived, thoughts say, this person is of a different ethnicity or a different religion. Making sure that you're not, bringing something into the conversation that this person would have never carried in. You know, I agree. I think that's huge. being vulnerable is huge. Yes. Yes. We have to work past the fear of, being vulnerable in your intimate relationships and also, it's important to be vulnerable with people. You don't even really know that well. Yes, and the, the big killer stiller for vulnerability is fear of rejection. So once you are able to establish some, concrete habits, and how to be the most vulnerable person that you are, um, You'll be able to recognize those things, and it doesn't mean that you abort the mission again. You just redirect and realize quickly that, this person isn't what they seem to be. We can't just drop the ball and turn around and walk off. That's rude. And that definitely doesn't, foster any kind of, positivity in our culture. So I think that's a big thing, checking all that at the door when you go in. I think different people are prone to different speed bumps or, you know, cautions. And so the more we can be aware of what our own cautions are, the quicker, we can recognize somebody that we want to begin to foster a deep relationship with. When we can. Pinpoint folks based on things that we might have in common with them or their lifestyle, that kind of thing, the better we can communicate with the world in general, with our community, if we have those close knit friends that we can be vulnerable with, it allows us the courage to go out. Into a world and and be vulnerable with people that will never respect it. Yeah, I agree. Let's run through the rest of the list. We made from our research and from our own brains. We compiled more ways. You can make your dialogue more authentic and more positive. So active listening, being vulnerable, being aware. whatever conversation you're going into, if there's a power imbalance there, if you have a preconceived bias or if there's other factors at work, I think just awareness of that going into the conversation will help make the dialogue more authentic. Also, I think a big one is focusing on the substance of the message and the intention behind it versus hyper analyzing you or their manner or tone of delivery, because the substance is the most important part, but we get so caught up in the tone and the delivery of what we're saying that I think we lose authenticity sometimes by hyper focusing on that. Oh, yeah, and just just being hyper, offended by tones and such like that, because I know I've done that in my own life a lot. tone has been a very, a big part of my life, like, sensitivity to tone, through being raised and such. People all respond differently. One of the things that I was most sensitive to was the tone. I mean, we're going on 30 something years of marriage and I still have issue with this. I still will find myself being super sensitive to tone. So, yeah, just realizing where that is and checking that and really just looking at, okay, The substance of the conversation Has this person's tone changed, based on where they are in the story, or am I going to be offended that this person's tone has changed? Okay. So they're yelling about something. It doesn't mean that you've done anything. You don't need to. Defend yourself, just be okay with the fact that, Oh, this is the part of the story. That's where another thing of active listening comes in. So you can kind of just see that it just is one thing on top of the other, on top of the other. So yeah, for sure. You know, my husband, Obviously has a deeper voice to me anyways, but I cannot tell you the hours spent that could have been saved if I'd have known this 25 years ago, 10 years ago, 15 years ago, yeah, yeah, this morning, So the last section we're gonna get into and a lot of this was research space and also stuff that has helped in our own lives Tips to be more authentic and the first one that has helped me the most is discovering myself and Exploring myself, I think the more you build a relationship with your inner self and define your values, explore your passions and build your character through just little things every day will make you more confident and being and being authentic because once you know who you are, you just have to focus on being consistent with how you're outwardly portraying. That and making sure it's all aligned and you're not putting on facade or whatever, whatever. do you feel like that's true for you as well? For sure. another way is, we need to heal the parts of ourselves that were hurt, when we saw ourselves as awkward or judged, we need to deal with that. It doesn't mean that you have to have a 300 session with a psychiatrist. It just means. Do you have a notebook? Can you write down your feelings? Yeah. Journal. Think it through. Yeah. Yeah. And to heal, a lot of it is self growth and a lot of that is spending time with yourself and spending quiet time where you're not distracted by anything and sorting out your thoughts. And this is something I have needed to heal from and am healing from like I said, I was chronically worried about what other people thought and worried that other people were judging me. And, yeah. I viewed myself as awkward, like 90 percent of the time. And I hated that or judged 90 percent of the time. Cause I didn't feel like I fit in or I didn't feel like I fit in as easily as other people did. And I think when you do that, or at least I felt this when I did that, I kind of detached myself from my real self because I had this fear that I was Perceived as awkward or something like that. And then a lot of the self growth that I went through and in my quiet time, I realized that I was sending a message to my authentic self by Changing myself to act a certain way to make sure I'm being perceived a certain way or not judged that was sending a message to myself, reinforcing that I was awkward, which is already something I was worried about. And I was giving the message to myself that I was less than that. I wasn't. I wasn't good enough to just be myself and be authentic because people weren't going to accept that. And I hurt myself by reinforcing that and I'm having to heal that, does that make sense? It makes. Perfect sense and is there, anything that comes to mind that, like, really made an imprint on you as far as you doing that? Yeah, I was homeschooled until eighth grade and I was kind of socially stunted. I was very sheltered and never really had a lot of socialization. So by the time I got into school, I felt so awkward and everyone else was so different than me. They all had phones and they'd been socializing with their peers for years, whereas I had mostly just been at home with my family. And That made me feel so awkward, and I was constantly worried about what everyone else was thinking of me, and I was trying to put up a front like I was Similar to my peers in the sense that I was comfortable socializing and I wanted to be popular and I wanted to have friends and I spent so much time even through most of high school, not being authentic because I wanted to be perceived in a way that was normal. I wanted to fit in when I felt different. And I think all that time. Was not being myself for the majority of the day at school. And then also in sports too. I feel like it carried over to that where I wasn't being my real self. And I was sending myself a message that my real self was awkward or not good enough to be brought out. Yeah. Yeah, which, kind of, kind of ties in with, self esteem. It does. Very interesting, that self esteem has been considered to be the reputation we have with ourselves. It's true. And if you think about esteem, it is to revere. Yeah. And, um, I think that, um, When we look at somebody who is down on their luck, a lot of times we can view that person as, Oh, they have no self esteem. Like, there's no respecter of themselves within them. And there are so many killers to that. And I think that's on a continuum. all of your life is going to wax and wane. you know, when you're 12. To 25 your self esteem is going to be bruised because you've got a pimple on your face and then all of a sudden you're in your 30s and your self esteem is going, you know, because you just spilt milk all down yourself or, the baby had a 3 bad diapers in the. Church nursery on a Sunday morning, I feel like self self esteem is not at all or nothing. I feel like there's things in our lives that kind of nip at it, like to take a little chunk, take a little chunk, take a little chunk. And then we have to allow that to repair and get back to it. again, I think self esteem is such a continuum, but I do think it has Well, I think the most important relationship of your life, one of the most, if not the most, is your relationship with yourself and like any other relationship of your life, you have to work on it, you have to maintain it, because we're constantly evolving, we're constantly changing, our life around us is constantly changing, and like you said, there's different things at different stages in your life that will Nip away at your self esteem and it's important for you to have a good foundation, but it's also important for you to maintain it and stay in touch with yourself and your feelings doing that, I think is what enables you to be authentic on that continuum. Absolutely. And just getting right back, you blow it. Get right back in the game. So I've blown it so many times. So I do appreciate that. A couple other tips for authenticity is get busy. This kind of connects back to practice makes progress. Get out of the house, try new hobbies, try things to get you out of your comfort zone. Go meet people you've never met before and practice showing up as your authentic self. Because again, practice makes progress. Practice makes habits and it's a big hurdle to overcome and we kind of touched on this a little bit earlier is some people may not be receptive to your authenticity and that's okay. Are you going to let someone who doesn't know you at all, doesn't know anything about your life, anything about who you are at the core, determine whether your authenticity and how it's coming across is comfortable, okay, or acceptable? No, we're not going to do that. Yes, exactly. Yes. We're not going to let them decide for us. I think if we're authentic and regardless of, what the other person responds or how they end up showing up, you can walk away from any interaction and have a level of pride that you are as honest and real as you could possibly be, regardless of whether their reaction was positive or not. Yeah. I am the perfect example of when you do it wrong. So, my passion for this is so deeply rooted. Not only do I realize I'm really heavily biased because. I've got to invest in Kena, not just so Kena can invest in my grandchildren, but so Kena can invest in the girls around her, in her circle, in her community, to foster a an authentic relationship, because that in turn Will be the biggest impact on my grandchildren. It will not be what I point to you. It's how you perceive that. and again, that goes along with our goal of changing the world, changing our community, you know, it's overwhelming to think, oh, I can't change the world, but first of all, can you be authentic with your relationship with your spouse? With your friends, your best friend. Yeah, so part of our closing on our podcast is going to be a little segment and it might look a little different every time, but it's called what she said, what she said. And it may not always be a woman, but that's just what we're going to call the segment because it's probably mostly going to be one. And let's say it together. What she said, girl. So this is a segment we're going to feature. Usually a quote might be something different from some person who we're going to make sure is a good person, we're going to feature something they said that will connect to the theme of our episode. And the one we're going to feature today, Oh Lord, didn't look up how to pronounce her name. Miss, miss. This is Sarah Breathnach, bestselling author, philanthropist, and a public speaker. So she said, quote, our deepest wishes are whispers of our authentic self. We must learn to respect them. We must learn to listen. Yes, yes, yes. And when you listen to yourself, don't always have the checklist out. Mm hmm. when you listen to yourself, be the kindest person that you can be. I think that like the respect for yourself and giving yourself grace and yes. You know, not getting down or overthinking everything that's respect for yourself. And I feel like that ties into everything that we talked about is getting to know you and listening to yourself and carving out time to spend with yourself is probably the biggest thing you can do for your authenticity. Absolutely. The next part of, our closing for our podcast will be, we want to bring you a challenge and we're going to do it too. We're going to do the challenge to trust us. But this week we want you to think about, one area in a relationship or an area of your life that you are the least authentic. Think about that. For one week, challenge yourself. To improve this area. So, for instance, we're, we're thinking about what's an area and our, our area or relationship in our lives that we feel like we are the least authentic. For me, I think I have. Not mastered, but I've definitely improved recently on being authentic at all times around my family and my friends. I do

Kaina G: 1:13:07

think I can be more authentic with my friends, actually. I'm pretty, authentic generally with my friends, but I think that sometimes I struggle with being vulnerable when They have a lot going on, and I don't want them to worry about me, or I'm, I just, I don't know. I definitely struggle with talking about my mental health with my friends. If I'm, I'm feeling depressed and overwhelmed, I will just cancel plans versus saying I'm depressed and overwhelmed and I don't really want to come over. And so I think I'm going to challenge myself this week and going forward too. I want to be authentic with my friends and my responses and how I'm feeling. Because I think even though I feel comfortable around my friends, sometimes I don't want them to view me not as weak, but I want to come across as a strong person who has my shit together. And that's not, that's never, well, mostly never the case, but yeah, honestly, I think I can be more authentic with my friends in the sense of vulnerability. And so that's the challenge I'm going to put to myself for this week, especially in, you know, in the future as well. Yeah. Okay. Well, I wish I had known about this question before we got here. You did. Just kidding. We wrote it together. No, no, no. I'm just thinking about, I have an area of my life where there's been a lot of, major changes happened in the last 18 months. And, they have required me to pour into something that maybe I wouldn't have necessarily, felt the need to do so prior to the changes. It's really difficult when you deal with stuff like that. what I struggle with and, and that is the last place that I feel like I am vulnerable is because I'm having issues with energy matching right now, maybe that's a better way for me to put it and we can go into it later, but it's definitely something, that I thought wasn't really impacting me. But again, this is what happens when you choose a platform and, want to impact others. You end up reliving. Things that you thought you had dealt with but yeah, so I guess yeah, the energy matching And it has to do with something that I should deal with every day. So that is what I commit to do is to look deeper into my place within that circle, not necessarily my position. So realizing I am not sitting at the end of the table. I do not have control of this. So, I think if my position is not going to be in a place that I can make a major change, then my place at the table needs to change. I don't need to be at the head of the table. if being everything that I am truly doesn't bring about a change, then I don't need to be sitting at the head. I need to change my place. Does that make sense? No, it does. And I was curious what you were gonna say.'cause I was like, this woman's authentic in every area of her life. What is she gonna, yeah. How is she gonna, was she gonna pull out challenge herself? Oh Lord. So I like that we both have very different answers and I think they're definitely true for both of us. So we're gonna work on that. Yes. And if you wanna let us know, comment, go to our social media. Message us. Let us know what your challenge is, what area of authenticity in your life you're improving. Cause we would love to hear and. Oh, we want to celebrate your small wins. So, let's just try to keep like a dialogue going. So if You get folks want to tell us about what your challenge is. Love to hear from you before next week as to, Hey, this was what my challenge was. I did this. And even though they didn't respond, maybe they responded the same way, but what happened was your view and your expectation changed. Again, we want to reiterate. This is a very community heavy and. Feedback heavy podcast. So like we just said, we want to hear from you, not just from the challenges, we want you to suggest topics you want to hear us research and talk about, let us know what you're hearing more of, and this is obviously a very beefy and broad topic and we could have made seven episodes about it. So if you're interested in hearing more about a specific section of this episode, let us know. We want to hear more, like pose us questions. Talk to us. We want to hear from you guys real, real, real bad. we want to hear what you want to talk about. We want to hear what you think about this. We want to hear how we can improve it. Part of that feedback, we would really appreciate if you like our podcast and you're excited about what we have here, go ahead, subscribe, follow us wherever you're watching, we're available on YouTube and all major podcast platforms and take the time, leave us a review, leave us feedback. It doesn't have to be positive if you hate it. Leave a survey. We want to hear your feedback and it would really help us with the whole, you know, algorithm, whatever situation technology. Yeah. But yes, thank you so much for joining us. we're really excited to go on this journey with you guys and talk about so many things and have so many different guests on this podcast. go ahead and follow our social media. We have a TikTok Well, If TikTok didn't get banned, we have TikTok, at generational teapot. So go hang out with us, talk to us on there and we would absolutely love it. So thank you for joining us. Thank you. Yes. Bye.