Living in the Present Moment | Breaking Down The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

In this episode, we are unpacking the wisdom of Eckhart Tolle, a spiritual teacher and author of The Power of Now. With over 16 million copies sold worldwide, this book holds life-changing teachings on how to live fully in the present moment. After reflecting on the impact this knowledge has made in our own lives, we will review chapter one, digging into the concept of enlightenment, identification with your mind, and the tools to practice stepping out of that and into the NOW.

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• Intro music by Cymatix
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Transcript

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The technical difficulties are just a moment to talk about how difficult technology is. Yes. Let's talk about it. Every time we've sat down to film one of these release episodes it has been a total bear. Disaster. Disaster. Having to figure out all these different apps and how to merge our microphones and all this, but we did it. We're here. And we're going to talk about some good stuff today. Hi friends. It's Ronnie. It's Kena. And we're filming from the small great town of Travis rest, South Carolina today. And it is cold., Have you been outside? Cause it's like 50 degrees. Uh huh. I just, I'm not convinced that it's better than being inside. I mean, at least it's not 20 something degrees. Absolutely. We've got that coming next week. So Yikes. Yeah, you want to see it? Chaos threaten the South with snow, ice, or extremely cold weather. Yeah. We'd be going crazy down here. Can't handle it. No, Not at all. Not at all. Especially that Colorado gal. I got my life now. Yeah, I feel like I've lived in the South for so long now that I could not survive in Colorado anymore. Honey, ain't that the truth. It'll be 30 degrees here, sometimes even 40 degrees here and I'm like, oh, so cold. And I'm like, oh yeah, I used to like go to school and it would be 10 degrees out and it would be 2 feet of snow. Absolutely. And our Miami guys are getting a cold front. And I'm saying cold in quotes. It's been like 64. In the evening, and I think the highs are around 70. So they are pulling all their winter gear out because they've got like seven days to wear everything that they brought down from New York to Miami. I'm sure they're changing clothes like Five times a day. I would be. I would. I totally would. I would be very sad if I lived in Florida because I love my winter wardrobe more than my summer wardrobe. Absolutely. It covers up a lot. Trust me. As, as that trip around the sun gets faster and faster and faster, the more you like. Give me clothes. I can cover up with. So she's thinking about practical things. I'm thinking about let's hide and camouflage some of that Christmas spirit, New Year's joy that we've all had. I'm sorry. I would prefer to wrap it up. Put on a jacket with it, maybe a little scarf to hide some of the double chin that I may have developed between Thanksgiving and New Year's. Anyways, let's go. Anyways. Yeah. Let's dig into it. This is our first episode where we're going to essentially review and highlight a book that both of us really love and we feel like has made a positive impact in our life. And we want to share that with our wonderful listeners. But welcome to the generational tea podcast. First and foremost, we're so happy to have you here where we spill all the tea from all the generations. Yes. We are going to be discussing the power of now by Oh Lord, didn't look up how to pronounce his name. Eckhart Tolle, I think. Eckhart Tolle, yeah. Eckhart Tolle. For some reason I thought I heard it once, and I was like, oh, that is not how I thought it was pronounced. Well. So if I butchered it, I'm so sorry. Yes. For those German people out there, we are so sorry. I'm German. Well. Well, not really, but I mean, my peoples are from there. She's identified with people. That's why my last name was a actual trainwreck, Roar Cassie. Roar Cassie. And it's spelled even worse than it sounds. Honey, it's been. Thank you for donating me your pronounceable last name. I appreciate it. Gillespie is so much easier. It's a, it's a good strong name. Yeah, but they still, I get Gillespie. Gillespie? Gillespie. What do you get? I have a lot of people that say, Oh, Gillespie? I'm like, is it a J? Exactly. Sassy. Um, I used to hate growing up in class, especially when it was like my early years of being in school after being homeschooled for so long. And on the first day of class, the teacher would be going through the roll and then they would pause and they'd be like. And I'd be like, that's me. You don't know how to pronounce my first name or my last name. Me. Thanks mom and dad. But now at least people can pronounce my last name for the most part. Yeah. Your parents wanted to keep everything on the edge. Let's make sure she's alert. And oriented at all times. That's what they were thinking when they came up with all these crazy names. For sure. All right. So Eckhart told us a little bit about him. He is a German born spiritual teacher and self help author. I have not read his other book or books. I can't remember how many there is. This one, however, has sold 16 million copies worldwide. The first time I heard of it was actually in college. One of my teammates had gotten a tattoo of a quote from this book, and I asked her about it. And she told me a little about this book, and I ended up buying and reading it. And it was life changing. it really is. And I'm really excited to share just a snippet of the knowledge in here and hopefully encourage you guys to read it. it was the first self help book I had ever read. And I've read it a lot since then. And this is still to me, the only one that matters. Yeah. And I just feel like You can build so much off of it and it applies to really all people and if you harness it, your life will change. Absolutely. Yeah. Kena brought this book into my life way before podcasting or thinking about it. it was just something that really resounded with her. And so, in light of just a lot of moving pieces in my life, it was something I was drawn to. today we're going to give you like some of the highlights of the first chapter of this book. But what I found in this book, is that he talks a lot about being, being in the moment, and we'll get into further detail about that. But as I read this book, I was like, Oh, Oh, I do this. Oh, I do that. We're just going to do a quick overview, but some of the things in my life that have brought me to this position of and the viewpoint of being present is losing everything. I would love to say. That my life before injury, chronic pain, chronic depression, anxiety, suicidal ideations, all that stuff has brought me to this point. So when I tell you and we speak of it and I speak of it in a way that I feel like I'm there already. Understand it didn't happen when I read this book, this happened years ago. And I know there's many listeners out there and you're dealing with your own chronic disease process or chronic pain, or just feeling like you can't survive where you are right now. If I'd had this tool. Like 10 years ago, it would have made a huge impact on my life. But gratefully I had people around me that believed in the same concept, but didn't even know that they were believing in it and I drew my strength off of other people, which I think is something too that we have to kind of think about when we get into a pit or we get into a position that we're not really able to find our ways out of. It's very. to find other people who have been there. that's where true mentorship, I believe happens is in the down and the dirty of it. So as we go through this book, I know you'll find nuggets to hold on to, but I just wanted to preface this with, I have been through a lot. And I had many years of chronic pain, not getting out of the house, missing a lot of my children's high school years and early college years, missing my husband. Like he had to completely pick up and go on. So just understand, I think a lot of times when we see people and they're in a position that we want to be in, or we think that they are somehow enlightened. And I think a lot of times when we see people and they're in a position that we want to be in, or we think that they are somehow enlightened. Cause we're going to get into that is check the backstory. What is it that they went through to get there? And, and how did they get out and how did they move forward? so yeah, I love this book is really great for people that are in their heads too much, probably a majority of people, but that's something I struggle with is always overthinking. I'm always in my head. And this book had shown me the way. There's an alternative. I don't always have to be so in my head. Like you said, this book helped you with your mental health. It definitely also helped with my mental health, because I was very, I mean, I still am in ways, but I was a very anxious and depressed person when I came across this book. And, I think that's why it resonated so much with me and has stuck with me since then, it's the way out. You don't always have to live like this in your brain. Exactly. Exactly. I can't imagine you guys and your generation trying to get out of your own head when it's so overstimulate. That too. And also, I mean, with your generation I feel like you guys didn't have the resources that we have today. Right. So there's, I mean, there's different pros and cons. Absolutely. Eventually, we end up in the same place, which is in our head, but it just looks different for both of us. but as far as this connecting to our mission, I mean, obviously our goal is to help people and this is something that has helped us tremendously, so we want to help you by sharing. of the highlights of just the first chapter of this book. So this would be like a 20 hour episode if we were to try and cover the whole book. Yes. There is so much wisdom. This, this guy is a genius. Yeah. So we're just going to cover the foundation of chapter one cause I feel like that really kind of gets your brain thinking that way. And that leads into a lot of the connections that he makes further in the book. So we're just going to do that. But before we do that, I just want to very quickly sum up. The entirety of the book. So you guys kind of have an idea before we get into the nitty gritty. So I will attempt to sum up a hundred or so pages of life changing wisdom. This book emphasizes the transformative power of living fully in the present moment, free from the mental patterns of the past and the future to experience peace and spiritual awakening. And something I loved about this book book. me and Ronnie are both religious people, but toll kind of expresses these ideas in a way that it can apply to any and all religions. And obviously it's talking about spiritual awakening, but I love the way he encompasses so many people within the ideas he has in this book, which is amazing. All right. Opening questions. Ronnie. If you had to put a percentage or assign a number to it, how much of the day do you feel that you are fully present in the moment?, It's a lot of the time. In fact, full disclosure, I feel like I stay in this so long that I am struggling to find the balance between being there, And being able to just function in society. I would love to just be in the being. I love it. I love sitting outside. I love the weather. I love the feeling of the sun on my skin. so I would say for me, it's, let's say 80%. Nice. That's impressive. Well, it could be a little bit lower than that. It could be a little bit higher. but I feel like I gravitate towards that because when you've, when you hit rock bottom, you know, only way to look is up. Well, I think you having disability and chronic pain and being shut off from the outside world for so long probably made you appreciate the present moment. Absolutely. You feel like that's true? Oh. After so long since then? Oh, oh, oh. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. So that's a gift, definitely. It's definitely been a gift for me. For sure. Yeah. Well, God, if I had to put a number on it, it would be better than it was in the past. But I would say, maybe, depending on the day, probably like 40 to 50 percent present. Yeah. And when I'm not fully present, I am usually daydreaming. I'm thinking about my books that I read. No, I'm just kidding. I tend to be stuck in the past thinking about past things that have happened, or I am thinking about the future and usually an anxious way. So, Any moment that I am not fully focused on what's in front of me and what I'm doing, I'm not present and I need to work on being more present and we'll get into why it's so important, but yeah, maybe like 30 to 50 percent depending on the day, depending on what I have scheduled that day, it's easier for me to be present some days than others. Right. yeah, so I'm impressed that you're at like an 80%. Well, again, tomorrow, the wheels could fall off ladies, but for today. And for, you know, like I said, I feel like I am almost off center on it because it takes me a while to get into my mind. And when you're looking at someone who hasn't had like a whole lot of contribution to society for 10 years, and then all of a sudden they are. I've struggled with like keeping my focus on what we're talking about, preparing in a way that is useful. And so we'll get into some of those common sense, practicality parts where there are times that you have to reach in to not mindless thinking, but something more productive. Yeah, definitely. We'll get in that towards the end. Are you. Last question. Are you guilty of identifying and equating yourself with your thoughts and emotions? If I'm left to default a hundred percent of the time, 100 percent that's something I struggle with immensely. Yeah. it's so hard to break that association Especially for someone that lives in their head and is always overthinking, that almost overtakes your personality. And I've found that to be true for myself in the past. And when you're thinking and you're always in your head and you're going over your past and your future. Like, what else is there? That's at least how I would look at it. Like, what else is there? Like, this is me. This is me talking. This is what I have to think about myself. This is what I'm thinking about everything around me. And I would equate that to myself. And I think that definitely contributed to a low sense of self worth. That I struggled with for many years and I'm still working through it for sure. Right. But yeah, guilty, guilty, guilty. We're all guilty. But without further ado, let's get into chapter one of this book. if you're intrigued by the information we have to share with you today, definitely recommend reading the whole entire book. you will not regret it. right. So, a big focus of this book, and this state that he's trying to get us to achieve, he calls enlightenment. What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of enlightenment outside of this book? I think enlightenment in societal things has become like something to attain, but also something that's not attainable. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. So, I feel like the word enlightenment is probably used definitely too much. Yeah. And out of context. Yeah. I agree. I think the nature around the word and how a lot of us perceive it, like you said, it seems or something that you have to work years and years for to achieve. But the great thing about this book is he's saying it's accessible to you at any time in your life, at any stage, at any point in your mental health, at any point in your journey, you can reach enlightenment. It just takes a little practice. So in terms of this book, form and reconnecting with that natural state of felt oneness with being. And you may be thinking, what? It doesn't make any sense, but I think once we get through the bulk of this episode, it'll make a whole lot of sense. Yes. So you might be asking like, what or how, how, how can we get there? What is the formula? I know myself, the step program works really well with me. Like, yeah, like if you do one, two and three, it's always going to equal four. Same. Yeah. It helps organize my brain that way. Yes. But for this, I think you have to really get into the focus of being open. I think that mentally we can shift to a mode that's more, okay, I'm going to come to this without my past, without the hurts that I've had. And it's something no one can teach you that. You just have to be okay with it, but honestly, approaching this book in a way that's like, I'm starting with a clean state. I don't want to put anything into it, add anything, take away that kind of thing. So yeah, for sure., This enlightenment, and I just mentioned it in the description is talking about this state of being, and This state can be felt when your attention is fully and intensely in the now, AKA in the present moment and your mind is still. So you're not really thinking. And I will say, a little side note about your son, my husband, randomly, I'll just be like, Hey babe, what are you thinking? He'll be like literally nothing. And I'm like, that's not possible. My mind is, I'm always having thoughts. I can't turn it off. How are you? It doesn't. Not thinking about anything. He's like, what do you mean? I'm like, what do you mean? And actually I think I asked you this the other day and you said Jim also is yeah Well, we asked him the other night. Oh, yeah, we were down there playing cards or having one of our Delicious meals that we're eating together, which I'm so grateful for. And I was like, Jim, my husband, you will get to know him a lot more, but he is, a mountain man. He loves to work. Some people work so they can live. Other people work, and that is the living. So, he lives to work, for sure. So, I was like, when you're out on the mountain, chopping trees, digging logs out, splitting wood, what are you thinking about? And he said, what I'm doing. And it was just like, whenever I do a task, a routine task that I've done before, I will be thinking about anything other than what I'm doing unless it requires a lot of focus. Yeah. But Man, yeah, what is it about men? Well, they, they definitely have a way of turning one side on and the other side off. But also I think honestly, he's not big into listening to music. he listens to podcasts, but it's more of in a condensed way of in the morning or when he has time at home, but when he's out working and such, You won't find him listening to music and stuff. I love music. I was a dancer. Music means a lot to me, but I do think the ability to turn that off is huge. And I don't know a whole lot of people, even my age, that are willing just to turn the noise down. Yeah. Just turn the volume down. You turn it off. Just turn it down to start with. Yeah. Definitely. Well, we're going to get into it's possible. And then when I read this book for the first time and he was saying, you can turn off your brain. I was like, what? That's crazy. But I actually believe him now. And it is possible. Yes. Yes, it is. All right. an important thing to know about while we're on the topic of being is that he states that being can never be fully understood by the mind, trying to wrap your head around the state of being in this state of enlightenment and being in the now is hindering the progress if you're trying to mentally understand it, because as we're about to get into the mind. Is the biggest obstacle to reaching that state of enlightenment. And the reason why is we tend to identify with our brain and our mind, which very true. And I mean, it makes sense why, because we use our brain a lot. We're always in our brain and I don't think this is something that's talked about very much that you are not your mind. Absolutely. So basically., Our brains create a screen of concepts, labels, images, words, judgments, and definitions. One way you can kind of check this is hypothetically or either in a role playing. Have someone ask you, What do you do? Or something like that? or who are you? I think as women we're real quick to say we are the daughter, the mother, the best friend, and those things like that. But that's not really who we are. Who we are is the person that goes into those relationships. We're not the label. We're not the label. And so that's a big thing because I feel like as women, we can get caught up or we are forced to label. So for instance, you could be a stay at home mom and that is your labeling and that can become almost an idol. It can be a division between you and perhaps your best friend because they may not be a stay at home mom. They may have to work. Maybe they work part time, maybe they work full time, but just as, as stay at home moms, we can't really hang our hat on who we are as a stay at home mom, same thing when parents work, or the dad's working, and so our work, our place in society, And our position in the family can alter who we think we really are. That, that part. Yes. Well, I think it's the nature of the brain to organize itself by labeling and coming up with all these ideas of yourself and trying To put yourself in a box sort of, or you're saying, I am these things. I am not these things. And all of that is coming from our brain, which is not, you know, not the best, it's not the most objective source of information. And I love this idea that enlightenment can help you reconnect with who you truly are. And it's not any of these things, none of these labels, none of these things. And that was so freeing for me because when I was associating myself with my thoughts and my brain, A lot of thoughts I were having were negative and when I would have judgmental thoughts or anything like that, I would think I was a judgmental person and that's not something who I wanted to be in my little box. I want to be a kind person who's not judgmental, but it's human nature to judge. And so learning how to disidentify with judgmental thoughts or negative thoughts or whatever it is labeling like that's so freeing. Yeah, it is. Yeah, for sure. It is. It's the first step to the beating is just realizing those are all concepts and part of my life, but they are not who I am to the core. You are, your mind is most certainly a delusion. And a lot of us are unconscious of it, but the mind is almost using you as a slave for our egos to live on because our ego depends on Everything in the past and everything in the future for its survival versus being in the present moment. Yes. Chapter one really focuses on freeing yourself from your mind. And this is where we're going to get into the very long awaited how to, how do you reach the state of being? how do you be enlightened? Right, right. So we're going to cover a couple of concepts. One is watch the thinker. or emotion,, practice, no mind gaps, which we'll get into, be your mind as a tool and direct your focus fully into the now. Yes. Yeah. So I'm excited to talk about watching the thinker and this concept because I had read this book in my sophomore, junior year of college, and if I had to pick one thing that stuck with me the most through this book, is watching the thinker. So let's get into what that means, watching the thinker. Like we were just saying is to disidentify from your mind. So once this is happening, you no longer derive your sense of self from the content and activity of your brain, which is great because you know, your brain is not the best. And once we dis identify from the content and activity of our brain, the thoughts lose their power and the emotional charge that comes with thoughts loses their power as well, which is great if you're someone that struggles with controlling their emotions. This is also applying to that and how you can get control of your emotions and control of your thoughts by dis identifying with them and not deriving your sense of self. For sure. so let's talk about this. Let's, take a journey. Let's take a journey. Wanna go on a journey? Yeah. It's a field trip. Yay! side note on that. I have to say something about field trips in my family. Okay. So this is funny. My husband and I both worked while we raised our kids. I worked very part time as a registered nurse. I could work 12 hour shifts, stay up all night, take a nap, get the kids off the bus. But early on, I, came up with the concept of, you know, Especially in elementary school. There are a lot of one day trips. So from here, we live in the upstate of South Carolina, a lot of the one day trips, we're going to Charleston and going to the aquarium and then, Oh, let's get back on the bus and come back home. And I realized really quickly that that was not for me. I love my children. I did not love other people's children that much. So I made a deal with my husband. The deal was, I took care of all homework, projects, etc. As long as he did all the field trips. But anyways, So, picture yourself sitting back in your mind, popcorn in hand, watching the involuntary thought process. Hear the voice that comments, speculates, judges, compares, complains. dislikes and watch without judgment or analyzing. This is a mouthful. And it's also extremely hard to do. It is extremely hard to do because, yeah, it, it takes a lot of practice and practice does what? What does practice means progress ain't that the truth practice you might hear us say that again? Yes Yes, if you don't hear anything in this episode, we need to tell you that Practice means progress. Yes Absolutely, this is so hard to do But it's so valuable. I think when I feel most Distraught or depressed or anxious, Or if I'm feeling overly emotional, I realize how identified I am with my mind and I'm like, okay, I need, I need to sit back and just let these thoughts flow. in my brain, at least how I do it, I just picture myself like sitting back and I have like a whole scene set up, Really? Where I'm like in a library, in a cozy chair. Oh really? And I'm just like watching my thoughts pass by. Okay. And. It's so hard to not judge your thoughts. It's so hard because you're like, dang, but I've kind of started to look at it like, Oh, I have a judgmental thought.

Kaina G: 29:52

I'm like, Oh, look, there's the part of my brain that judges people are super judgmental, but I know that that's not me. Well, I have to remind myself that it's not me, but it's so hard not to judge what you're hearing when you're watching the thinker or start analyzing it. Like, what does this say about me? And then you have to realize, well, These thoughts aren't me. So why do I need to analyze them? And I mean sometimes you do need to analyze your thoughts, but not to the degree that me and a lot of people do it. But another thing to note about this, so when you're watching the thinker, and you do feel yourself start to condemn or judge the thoughts that you're hearing, that just means that the same voice has. found its way into your own private showing where you're watching the thinker. and it's definitely difficult, but the more you practice, the easier it is to watch the thinker for longer. At least when I practice, I've been able to do it for longer periods of time without slipping into a state of identification with the mind where I start judging and whatever, whatever. But yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a snowball effect if you give it just a little crack. I mean, if we give our minds just, A millisecond. They'll take it. It will take it. It will run with it and understand that the mind that we're talking about is the part of us that has those preconceived notions or jumps to those generalizations based on our past and also based on how we view the future. But we've left a major gap there. What about the now? What's happening in the now? Yeah, for sure. another key part of watching the thinker that will help you dis identify from your mind. So when you are doing this, you have this inevitable realization that there's the voice, there's my thoughts and here I am listening to them without judgment. We are separate. Yes. So I think the longer, the more you practice and the longer you're able to watch the thinker, you'll be able to accept more and well, I think I think what happens is you identify More if you be more cognizant of what's going on Then it's it's just like watching a play. Yeah, you can't identify with Oh, I reacted this way because of this because main thing that We need to do is we need to be responsible for what we put out there. And so we have realized, and I've made a lot of mistakes, about that. And so what we want to do is, Hey, if you feel like you're in the mind all the time and your mind won't shut off, here's some practical reasons why. But I definitely think that, in order to not be ran by your emotions. You have to shut off the mind because they are intricately connected. Yes. Yes. And that's our next section. So just like you can watch the thinker, you can also watch your emotions. But before we get into what that looks like, a cart hole really describes the relationship between emotions and your mind Yeah, great. That's a vicious cycle and they tend to feed off of each other and Emotions arise at the place where your mind meets your body and the more you identify with your thoughts The more charged your emotional responses are those lots and that makes so much sense but I If I hadn't read this book, I probably would have never picked up on how they feed off each other like that. It's very interesting. But the important thing to know, just like you're not your mind, you are not your emotions. That's not your true self and your state of being in your state of enlightenment, which is great. That's good news because I think a lot of us sometimes have emotions that we are society view negatively. And when we identify with them, that can also harm our sense of self worth. Yeah, and I think as women we tend to be the more emotional You know species and we tend to inhibit our emotions. Yes. Yes, and so Also, we can get to a point where our emotions take over and then it's the guilt and all the stuff that comes with that afterwards like basically Kind of coming up with the realization that I don't want to wake up tomorrow regretting what I said yesterday and regretting what I didn't see missing out. Yeah, for sure. For sure. another thing that he talks about in chapter one that I found really interesting and this was a question he had gotten a lot and Well, before I get into this, his book is written in a question and answer format. So he's done a lot of public speaking and just a lot of talking to people about this. And he basically compiles all the most commonly asked questions. And then in the book, he gives you the answer to those questions. And one of those questions was, well, what about when the mind and your emotions are in conflict? How does that work? And, He says, if this does happen, your mind is always the lie. Your emotions are always telling the truth. And I had to sit on that and think for a minute because pretty often my mind and my emotions are in conflict. And so it makes me view my reactions in a totally different way when I'm focusing on, okay, my emotions, the truth. Where can I take that knowledge? And what does that tell me? Yeah. And also how does it decipher what it, what's the emotion saying about my response to that scenario or that person? Yeah. So definitely. It's almost like a backward working. Yeah. It's very interesting. Yeah. But it makes sense because your body I think holds the truth and your emotions. Meets your mind at your body. I'm like, wow, I never thought of that, but yeah, it's very, very interesting. But, so to circle back to. Step number two watching your emotions, just like you watch the thinker. So don't really need to elaborate on that, but he does elaborate on if you are someone that has trouble feeling your emotions or watching them. in the first step to watching them, I think it's feeling them, but if you're having trouble feeling and identifying them, take quiet time. To focus on the inner energy field of your body and feel the emotions within until you can, I guess, put a label on them. And then it'll be easier for you to in turn, watch them from a nonjudgmental. Yeah. I think, anytime we have an emotional response that is not reciprocated well or that lingers on taking that back and say, and just evaluating, okay, I responded this way because this happened in my life that comes with years of therapy on myself. but also I think therapy. can help lead you to practicality. And so you learn in therapy how to capture that thought like immediately and realize, you know what? I'm reacting to this and maybe I'm reacting because it makes me mad or it hurts my feelings, but that person didn't do that. Yeah. I get to decide how I respond. So I think just getting more to decide how you want to respond when you're not so Identified and intertwined with your mind and absolutely because our past experiences what people have done How our fears our anxieties all that is entangled with that part So it's just really like can you be in the moment? Even for 30 seconds of a day, start small. Yes. Yes. And some of you guys may be thinking I'm overscheduled. There is no way that I can take a minute and think outside of my to do list and my task at hand. A lot of times what happens with that and some I've found myself. reaching and getting to a deeper level of intimacy with folks. I would say the common denominator is busyness not on my part because obviously I have time on my hands, but on the part of just, Encouraging or wanting your friends or even your spouse to like, slow down a little bit. And, it definitely feels like a shoe that doesn't fit right to start off with, but it will, it'll get there for sure. Yeah, I think that's interesting. I mean, there's so many busy people and. We live in such a distracting world that it can be harder to practice these techniques, like watching the thinker and watching your emotions and stuff like that. But I think just start small. And as we get into gaps of no mind and our last technique, which was focusing fully on the now, I mean, those are sort of things you can incorporate into a busy schedule, but definitely. I love that he emphasizes so much in this book, like spending quiet time with yourself where you're, yes, you're trying to reach that state of being, you're trying to find those no mind gaps and you're trying to watch from a totally different point of view, your emotions and your thoughts. So value a quiet time. And that's something I've focused on ever since reading this book is even five minutes a day where I just put down my phone and I just, Feel my body and feel what emotions come up and try and watch it from a place of no judgment Has been so good for my mental health. Oh, yeah. Yeah I feel like it's almost uncomfortable at first like I remember it being uncomfortable when I would make quiet time for myself. I would just sit there and be like Okay. When is this over? I have a whole list to do, but practice makes progress. Absolutely. So let's get into no mind gaps. And this is what we were talking about when we're talking about our husbands literally having not a thought in their head and how we're low key jealous. In this book, no mind gaps refers to breaks in our mental streams of thoughts. Basically it's our consciousness without thoughts. Because our consciousness does not require thought, but on the flip side, our thought requires consciousness. Basically an empty brain. Right, right. And this is a practice and it evolves over time. And every time I read the book, I get something else out of it. But, yeah, so practicing these no mind gaps, isn't nearly as easy as it sounds, especially if you have a busy schedule. but it could be something as easy as, or as simple. As I am getting ready to ring the store bell, I have had a heck of a day. I have been in arguments with my boss. My child has disappointed me greatly and I have a to do list a mile long when I get home. But as we approach that door to somebody else, it's almost like It doesn't take long, 10 seconds to just like, take a breath, clear that, focus on that person. So the person on the other side of that door could be my friend Claire. So, I want to see Claire because of Claire. I don't want to see Claire so she can help me decipher my thoughts, my mind, my emotions. I want to be present with Claire. So there are things that I have to do prior to in preparation in order to step into that and to be fully there. So that part. Yeah. So So practicing these it's like working a muscle and the gaps you have in your mind might be short at first, they most likely will be, but the more time you spent practicing and trying to create these no mind gaps, they're going to get longer and it's going to be easier for you to slide into that state without so much mental effort to get there. I think for sure. Yeah. And as you grow more deeply into this realm of no mind, As he calls it. And this is where you'll feel your own presence with such intensity, which is a great thing and such joy that all thinking and emotions and your body and the whole world around you become almost insignificant in comparison, which is so hard for me to wrap my brain around. I'm bad at practicing no mind gaps consistently, but I think when I do do them, I do, once again, I do do God, but once I do them consistently and create that time for that practice, I understand what that feels like where you do feel such like intensity in your presence and joy where everything around you like almost becomes more intense, but it also is insignificant compared to the oneness you feel inside yourself. Would you agree? Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. And at first it's like little glimpses. Yeah. And then the more you practice, it's like, Oh, Oh, can I be like this all the time? Yeah. And the, and then you get good at. Doing a quick reset. I mean, if I'm left to my own fault, I'm a disaster. You know, I just get up one morning and be like, Oh, I'm just going to let today happen. Whatever happens happens. And then I open my eyes and suddenly I've already offended half the room, which is usually my dog. So Josie's highly offended when I wake up, but for sure, for sure. It's, it's a practice. It's a muscle. We know the more we exercise a muscle, uh, Then the greater strength becomes definitely so the next tactic he talks about in chapter one. So if you don't have necessarily the time to Like we were talking about if you're super busy If you don't have the time to carve out watching the thinker and watch the emotion and create the no mind gaps You can Reach that state of being in that state of enlightenment by directing your focus fully into the now. And it's not as easy as it sounds. like most things, especially in this world where we have smartphones and there's constant distractions, constant overstimulation. it's even more difficult than it was probably 10 years ago. Yeah. But, it's like the no man's gaps. It's almost a muscle you have to work and start small, but you take a routine task you have to do, whether it's walking up the stairs, cooking a meal, doing the dishes and give it your full and undivided attention. Focus on each thing you have to do, whether it's like each step you have to take the sensations you're feeling towards it and distract everything you can into the now and try not to let your thoughts pull you away from. What you're currently doing. Yeah. And like the muscle, it will become easier with practice and you'll be able to switch like, all right, I'm going to focus on this fully and intensely and it will become easier to focus and you don't have to redirect yourself as much. Yeah. And the overall, goal here is to be a better person. Within ourselves to feel comfortable within our own skill, then the 2nd and simultaneous goal is to impact. My community in a positive way by doing such because, you're able to address a meeting, without the previous meeting ending badly, and I don't think this comes from like ignoring motions. In our mind, I think it has a place and it's kind of like, Okay. Right now I'm going to put this to the left and this to the right. And this is when I'm focusing on, which is the now. Yeah, definitely. easier said than done, but it can be very valuable. Exactly the reasons you just said. So the last thing he talks about in chapter one, that is a little bit less tangible, but I think equally as important as the things we were just talking about and it's rising above thought. Viewing our mind as more of an instrument and a tool than probably how most of us regard our mind. So like we said earlier, thinking is only a small part of Consciousness and consciousness does not require a thought so think about shifting your perspective of your mind to Just using it when you need Practical purposes and then working towards that state of being and being in the now so that our minds not overtaking us when we're not Using it for something practical. Yeah, and so that's where my new focus is on Not getting out of the now, I could stay in now because I don't have to answer the phone call. You know what I mean? it's comfortable once you get there, but then also you've got to be earthly good or things just don't happen. You know, I can tell Jim, Oh, I don't know what's for supper. I've been in the now for the last 12 hours. I understand you've just worked eight hours and you have 30 something employees, but I'm just chilling in the now. I wonder how many people will be able to relate to you because I feel like it's against the grain for what most people struggle. I'm the flip side, you're the other side. Well, yeah. and again, it took years to get here. So I just want to reiterate that. And sometimes, you know, when we don't bend our knee to stuff, our legs get broken. And I feel like that's what happened to me. Yeah. And, as crappy as it was while I was going through it, I wouldn't want to be the same person I was before. Even though it was very successful. You know, I had a great family, amazing marriage. yeah, I wouldn't want to go back for sure. I can't imagine you before all this happened because I've only known you when you've been like this and you're so intensely present. I'm like, I can't imagine you any other way. Yeah. Yeah. But I acknowledge it did not happen overnight. Yeah, for sure. All right. So briefly before we close, we just kind of want to take in all that information and relate it back to the importance of it and the importance of being in the now. obviously there's a lot of very clear benefits to this. So you get freed from the prison of mind identification, because if you're like me and most people, your thoughts are confusing. Dysfunctional, negative, they're all over the place. And so when we disidentify with that and disassociate from that, you won't have a distorted view through your mind of yourself. Yeah. That takes away comparison. We'll talk a lot about that. I feel like, cause that's a buzzword. Yeah. Cause if comparison kills, but if you can get into the now, you're not thinking about what everybody else is thinking or doing. Yeah. Yeah. So you can be fully present and then be fully accountable for what you do and say yeah and not be a reactive Situation. Yeah, you no longer have a distorted view of reality in front of you because if you're identified with your mind you're viewing things in terms of the Past and future. Yeah instead of Yeah, and I will tell you that people gravitate to that. There's something that people pick up on that you can kind of tell when somebody has entered a conversation or an introduction in a way that is completely open to whatever that person is saying. And you can't be that. You can't be that good friend, the best friend ever or the person until you can set aside Past experiences and, move toward exactly right now, what's going on. We live in a small town and so. That has had to be used a lot because most of us that have kids around the same age all went to the same high school or, you know, at least middle school. I think the tendency, especially if you live in a small town or still in the town that you grew up in is to take and remember that person during school, where we have to just say, you know, that was in the past. I'm not going to accept that as this is what I'm getting ready to get. I definitely think that if you're not in the now, your authenticity is not real. I think so too. Well, when we're talking about enlightenment, especially in terms of this book and being is it's talking about your true self, which is something not a lot of us have gotten. We haven't had the time and space to fully know And since we've been driving our sense of self worth from thoughts and emotions, we're not grasping the true self beneath all of that. And if we're able to do that, I think it brings a whole new meaning, to authenticity. Absolutely. For sure. Just cool. Since one of our other episodes is about authenticity. So look at that. Connections, people. Cool. All right. shall we get into what she said, or in this case, what he said? Yes. Let's talk about what our quote of the pod. Yes. This is our, what she said, or he said, and it's a quote from a cartel from the book. Not this chapter. but We both really liked it. Yeah. Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find you're here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options. You can remove yourself from the situation. You can change it and the third option you had is to accept it totally. Yeah, that packs a punch. It does right there. Yeah, i'm not sure which chapter this is from. Do you remember the chapter? About surrendering. Yeah. Yeah, that's a maybe you may even do a whole episode about that in the future Because that also is one of the chapters that stuck with me But yeah, yeah, I really love that quote because I mean it's it's very true You If you're hearing now sucks and you're finding it hard to be fully present in the hearing now. Yeah, you have three options and it's as simple as that. Yeah, remove get away from the situation change it and there aren't a lot of Situations that we have control over and that's where you'll see and you'll probably end up Figuring out how to accept it. Totally. Yeah through the practice of being in the now. Yeah for sure Our challenge, let's get into it. So our challenge that we're posing to ourselves and you guys are listeners this week is to start listening to that voice in your head as often as you can and pay attention to any particular thought patterns that you have and watch the thinker. I think this will tell you, a lot about your mind as far as analyzing thought patterns and picking up on the ones you have the most, that can give you a lot of information on, On your mind, not on yourself, because we are not our mind. And practice watching the thinker. And let us know how that goes for you. We'd love if this is something you've never heard about before, let us know how it goes when you're trying for the first time. Yeah, for sure. We want to hear from you guys. For sure. On that. So, good luck this week talking about that. resonating with that. the great thing about this podcast, you can rewind also look at checking out the book. Yeah. He also has a journal. his writing is based on numerous different religious texts. entities. Yeah. Yeah. He takes the Christian and all that and he applies that to everyone, which is so true. It was great. But yeah, definitely check out the book. If you liked what you got a glimpse of today. Even if you don't like self help books, this might be the only one you ever have to read. Exactly. Okay, so let's do this. Let's say Kena, I am awesome and you are too. We killed it again today y'all Have a great evening. Wait What are we forgetting? Oh, we got to go back and mention our social media stuff. Okay. Yes Go over to cana closing once again Um your episode reminder that we would love it if you guys would message us or comment really about anything whether it's about this episode how the challenges are going for you What you want to hear us talk about in the future questions you have Any of that, reach out to us on social media, a generational T pod, we would really appreciate feedback in the form of reviews as well. That'll help us reach more people as far as all the podcast algorithms go. And we want to hear what you think about the podcast and what we have so far. Like we've said in past episodes, this is a community focused podcast with collaboration from you guys. And you guys are going to be able to shape where this podcast goes with us. So we need to hear from you guys. But thank you so much for tuning in. We hope you enjoyed learning about this book and we hope you read it if you liked it. Yes. We'll see you again next time. Keep that tea coming. Awesome. Bye.