Mental Health | Real Talk with Family Therapist Emma Reaney Artwork

Generational Tea

A podcast hosted by a mother-daughter-in-law duo with a mission to empower women to step into their full potential, find their voice, and create positive change in the world. Through meaningful, researched conversations and interviewing diverse voices from all walks of life, we will explore topics that inspire growth while fostering a community of strength, authenticity, and connection.

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Generational Tea

Mental Health | Real Talk with Family Therapist Emma Reaney

March 18, 2025 • Kaina | Ronnie • Season 1 • Episode 13

Welcome back to Generational Tea! Today, we’re diving into an important conversation about mental health, specifically through the lens of women’s experiences. Our guest, Emma, is a 27-year-old licensed family therapist who brings her expertise and personal insights to this discussion. Emma also shares some of the most common struggles she sees in her practice, as well as her perspective on how we can all do better when it comes to prioritizing our mental well-being.

Join the conversation: How do you define good mental health for you personally? Any other thoughts on today's episode? Share your reflections in the comments or via our social media.
What She Said: Tune into hear what advice Emma has to offer from her journey on advocating for mental health!
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0:12

Welcome everybody to another episode of the generational tea podcast. I'm Kena. And today we have yet again, a very special, special guest, Emma. So I'll let you introduce yourself, Emma. And if you want to talk about your credentials as a therapist, that would be awesome. Yeah. Okay. So my name's Emma Rainey. I am, I guess, 27 years old. I just turned 27 yesterday. So entering my late twenties, But so I currently am a licensed marriage family therapist at Vive Greenville. It's a group practice where there's a lot of different clinicians with a lot of different specialties. And mine happens to be Young girls dealing with disordered eating or low self esteem or just even anxiety depression that you would experience in middle High school and college and so all of our clinicians see something different So which I think is so great because there's really something for everyone. So I started there around two, two and a half years ago, and I just became a Fully licensed, which was super exciting. Like for your first two years when you get out of grad school, you're an associate. So you have to be under supervision, have to see someone weekly, and now I finished that two year process, I'm officially licensed, which is very exciting because what I learned about grad school and being a therapist is that it is so expensive, um, to do any of that stuff, like having to pay for supervision, to like have someone basically just talk through your clients and caseload with, and if you felt like there was something that was like trickier for you, you got to experience that talking to someone else, which is so very helpful, but I'm so glad that that is a chapter of my life that is close at this moment. So now I get to just A therapist, which is so fun. That's awesome. Congrats. I had thought about being a therapist for a while and then I just decided that I didn't want to go back to school. When did you know that you wanted to become a therapist? So I decided my sophomore year of college. I was one of those late bloomers that I went in thinking I was going to be a Biology major, pre dental. I was obsessed with, for some reason, dentistry in high school. I think I was more obsessed with the money that they would be making. So, which is not a really great thing to choose a career over because that's something you do for the rest of your life. I went to Wofford college in Spartanburg and I did freshman year biology and I learned that I was awful at it. I, it was. Like I usually made straight A's in high school and I took chemistry and I was making fifties on tests and I was trying so hard and I was like, this is just not for me. And if I'm experienced as freshman year, there's no telling that will be like sophomore, junior year. And then I realized that my Motivations going into trying to be a dentist were more just, Oh, this would make a lot of money. And, that'd be nice when really, there was no necessarily like passion behind it. and at this point too, during my freshman year, I was also going in like recovery for an eating disorder. So I was experiencing a lot of time in therapy and I kind of got like jealous of my therapist. I was like, Oh my gosh, you guys to just like talk to people all day and like. And so the more I thought about it, I was like, wait, what if I ended up doing that one day? And so I met with my advisor and talk through psychology, like what that would look like, would I have to graduate later or anything like that? And luckily at the time that I chose to do this, I wouldn't have had to graduate. Early, like I had already taken some of the prereqs that like were needed for the major anyway So I was able to switch. I think I switched mid year Sophomore year and um, I have never looked back. Like I just realized okay This would be so cool to be able to of course in any job you're helping someone in some capacity, but in this way really make a deep like meaningful like impactful like thing on someone and just getting to sit with someone and their deepest things that they maybe wouldn't tell someone else. I was like, that's such like an honor and like a privilege. And I would love to get to do that. And I also really wanted a job where I would have like flexibility. So like with my job, it's not a typical eight to five thing. like today, I think I have. Maybe four clients and I like it wasn't hard to fit this thing. Cause I was like, Oh, I make my schedule. So I love that flexibility. and that was kind of also reason why it drew me to this field. It's like the flexibility of being a therapist. And like, I feel like it was a job that I was like, okay. One day when I become a wife, a mom, like I can be able to do this in some capacity. and also be able to have the privilege of being a mom and that kind of thing, like one day. So there were a lot of different factors. but it all kind of was like, um. God wink in some ways when I went to Wofford and like I was at Bible study And I was like telling people I don't know if I love my major and then there was this girl Who was a psych major and she was a senior and she's like I switched from bio from you know freshman year and Into psych and I was like, wait a second like that's crazy. So I went to walk with her and Literally that walk was what kind of, I think, changed my perspective and it was just cool how God will place people in your life like right when you need it and like give you the message that you were like so clearly like searching for. So long answer to your question. I love it. That was perfect. Oh my gosh. When you told me about biology, because I was also like a really, like I had straight A's. I had a great GPA. And when I took college biology, I was like, so happy that I got a C in that class. Like, I couldn't believe it. It was so crazy how, like, what my standards were for myself in high school had to really be lowered because I just had to, like, really humble myself and be like, okay, this is truly my best, and my best is maybe a low B in this class. And I'm definitely a very high perfectionism, which comes with a lot of downfalls in some ways. So having to see, like, okay. I'm trying my best, but like this is my best and there's nothing else that's going to happen with it. And having to Humble myself and know, hey, you're maybe not good at biology and I like being good at everything. So that was really hard to wrestle with at that time. Okay, awesome. Well, if you haven't guessed it yet, we're gonna really just dig into mental health today. She is a licensed therapist. It's awesome that we get to have you on here, especially from a woman's perspective. So you kind of answered the first question what inspired you to become a therapist. So I'll let Ronnie take the next question. So In your experience, as far as folks that you see or personally, how would you define good mental health? When you sent me this question, I was thinking, Oh my gosh, that is such a hard question because I feel like it depends on the person. And so I was thinking about what I would define as like good mental health and with the clients, like I see and how, what. I would find a good mental health in terms of how would I know if someone's maybe not needing to come to therapy all the time? Like, cause when they come in, usually they're coming like weekly. And so it's like, what signs am I looking out for to see, okay, you don't have to come as much like you're doing good. And so I was thinking about how they're able to handle their daily stressors. So a lot of people come in and just, they don't know how to handle their anxiety. Cause I think anxiety is normal. I mean, it is normal to feel before a test or before something big, so it's how we are able to handle that. And so for some of my clients, they come in and like the way they handle their anxiety for me seeing disordered eating, it's through something unhealthy. So whether it's like limiting what they're eating, or even if you think about someone like dealing with like alcoholism or something, it's like they deal with anything that stresses them out by some like unhealthy vice. So it was like good mental health would be like, okay, I have things challenging in my life, but I'm able to. Handle it well and also recognize when I do need help. So it's like if I realize I'm struggling in some way, I know the people I can look out to for support to help me. Kind of like your accountability partners a little bit. Because I think just like the good mental health is when, like I think about one of my clients, like she went from which everything stressed her out. She would engage in a disorder eating behavior. And now she, Calls her boyfriend or she goes on a walk. And so it's something that honestly controlled her life every single day. She has control over now and she feels so much better just about herself. because she's choosing honestly the harder thing to do. Sometimes it's easier to go to the unhealthy stuff to cope. And so I think just with someone being able to handle anxiety or life stressors in a manageable way, that's what I kind of define as like good mental health, where. Their anxiety is not. negatively impacting their relationships, their work, they're able to still kind of, I guess you would say the word like thrive, like every day, despite anything that's going on. Yeah, I think that's a great point about anxiety and bad emotions in general. It's more about your capability to handle it, And not like you have it or you don't because I feel like it's almost impossible to not have anxiety in some sense. Yeah, I think some of my clients like forget that. I'm like, girl, I'm a person too. Like there are times I have anxiety. So like, I think sometimes people think like they're therapists. We like to picture them as like this perfect person. They don't go through things. And of course, you know, I do too. And there's like moments where I want to maybe handle my anxiety in like a negative way, but I know, okay. That would only hurt me more. And so I think just that's a, I think a hard thing for people with vulnerability because we want to act like we're always okay. And so I think knowing and normalizing everyone deals with anxiety in some capacity. And so when you talk to someone about it, they will usually get it, in some understanding. And so I say just a lot. That being a hard thing with like my clients is just opening up and being vulnerable about anxiety in general. So definitely resilience is very closely tied to good mental health. What'd you say? 1000%. Yeah. I think like resiliency is like the epitome of like good mental health, like just being resilient and anything that comes your way. And there can be moments where it's not perfect. Like you're going to have a moment where you're like, you do mess up. But I think just. When you're able to maintain, those healthy habits, those things you know help you be, like, mentally well, that consistency is what's really important, too. Yeah, for sure. So, I know you said you kind of specialize at the practice you're at now, and you kind of already mentioned a couple things, but what are some of the most common mental health struggles that you see in your practice today? So, I would say, even though my specialty is disordered eating, that's not the entirety of my caseload. I will have some girls come in where literally just, the theme is negative self esteem. And there's A lot of different factors in that, like since I see mainly middle and high school, a lot of it is dealing with just peer relationships and just like helping them one, maybe navigate how their body is changing, like in that stage of life and also like how to navigate mean girls because what I've learned is girls can be so mean, especially the middle school ones. And, I think it's a lot of different factors. Like, I mean, a big thing that I'm seeing is like social media, because of just like the easy access to tick tock to instagram, snapchat, that's all there are primarily like engaging with each other. And so, I mean, whether it's like cyber bullying or just like, they're comparing their life to what they're seeing online and that's making them feel bad about themselves. And so in some ways that can lead to or contribute to depression, anxiety. So the main things I'm seeing are anxiety, depression, disorder, eating, or just like low self worth. I think a lot of girls. That I'm seeing are so, I don't want to use the word desperate, but what was the other word? Um, I really want to have like say a significant other or like a boyfriend like, you know, they So if they don't have one, they think there's something like wrong with them And so it's like navigating some of them will get into what I would call like toxic relationships Just because they have like this extreme desire to feel loved and worthy and so My job is kind of helping them work through what is a root cause of like needing that validation from someone else because if they're not getting that, they're just going to hop around in a sense and not feel satisfied with themselves. And so kind of just working on that healthy self worth and healthy attachment to others is like a. A lot of what I'm seeing with some of, like, the girls that are coming in, too. Yeah, I bet a lot of that derives from social media, as someone that's felt all those things myself. Yes, and I remember, feeling such a similar way when I was in, like, middle and high school, because, I mean, in middle school, I remember, this makes me feel so old, like, Facebook was all the rage. Like, you know, if you did not have Facebook, what was wrong with you? And my mom, she was not letting me have Facebook in seventh and eighth grade. Like, Kari Reeney, she knew to not have, embarrassing pictures of me from middle school, so right now I thank her for that, like that I did not have that, but at the time, like, you felt like you were left out, like you didn't have that, and I'm so thankful TikTok was not a thing when I was in middle school, because I felt like that would have started a whole other term. Issue because, you know, your for you page like will be consumed with like what the content you're consuming. Like, you know, so if you're seeing what I eat in the day videos, those are going to keep coming up and I think I see a lot of that with some of my clients are dealing with like negative self esteem. Like, we will literally look at their social media and it is awful. Just like the content they're consuming because I mean, it's like the Internet knows, okay, this person is feeling really negative about themselves. Like, I'm going to just keep feeding them that stuff. so like a big thing I have to work on is like, just. Boundaries with social media and it's okay to unfollow people or block people that aren't serving you, right? For sure just a little bit more about the social media I guess I want to know how would you encourage somebody? Are you have any success with these folks that are dealing with negative self esteem? Are you able to make any kind of impact or what are you seeing as far as them being? Okay? To let off the gas as far as social media. I think it definitely is hard in terms of they want to feel like they're belonging. and you have to sometimes get the parents involved. I think in some ways, like if at first the client is a minor, because a lot of times some of them are not. Being mindful of like the boundaries their parents have like placed on it. So whether it's like, Oh, I'm not allowed to tap TikTok, but somehow I'm sneaky and I got TikTok, or I made a fake Snapchat account. Like there's stuff like that to where like I have a lot of kids that get like caught for that. We work on I want to try to share a little bit about, like, myself in a way to, like, relate to them, to help them know, okay, like, I turned out okay, and, you know, had to figure out limits to social media, or just even normalizing. I get it. There are moments where I spend too much time on TikTok too and I have to unfollow people and so what gets to them is when they look at their screen time actually is like when you go on the app and you can see like how much time you spend on screen time and how much time you've spent on every single app and that is actually very humbling for them like that is when they actually I feel like it's just seeing a number wise of like, oh wow, I've spent it. 10 hours of time on Tiktok this week. and I think that is maybe sometimes what helps them. Um, some more than others. Some, I think they have, if they don't see an issue with it, they're maybe not going to want to change it. But, like for some of them who actually have a desire of, okay, I want to decrease my social media time, or I want to figure out why am I feeling this way about myself. They'll be more willing, I think. To take my advice or try something I suggest. It's definitely a tricky situation. I know like growing up, if my parents told me I couldn't be on Instagram, I'd have been like, are you kidding me? It's so stupid. Yes. And like, I think about just like with like Instagram, I think Twitter was like a thing like back then for me. And like, I don't think there were like screen time limits like that my mom knew of, but she had my passwords to things. It's like she, if she wanted to, she could go and. Check my phone. So it's like I knew to be careful of like what I was doing, but I think It's almost like they have some kids that are kind of just like impulsive and they don't think about the consequences of their actions until after and so it's like they know their parents are going to look at their phones, but then they'll just send risky things and then that's what causes them to get in trouble because it's like almost like they forget, oh, my parents may see this. I think we kind of live in an instant gratification society where we focus on just what is temporarily going to make us feel good and maybe not think about what could be like the repercussions of this. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. It's very addictive as well, which I'm sure makes it difficult when you're trying to get Yes. your kids to set boundaries on it for their own good, so. I feel like I need to be putting screen times on my own self. I actually, no, I do have screen time limits on myself, and I'm so bad about being like, ignore for 15 minutes. Like, cause I, I think it's just something we just get in like the easy habit of, of just like, it is like a mind numbing thing, which in some ways like, Maybe we need that for 15 minutes, but like if that's our only way of kind of coping with our emotions It doesn't become like as healthy. Yeah, that's for sure. Okay next question What role does self awareness play in maintaining mental well being and also can it be more of a hindrance than a help sometimes? Mm hmm. I think with self awareness It's one of the best things, in my opinion, for someone who is coming in as like a client, like, if they're aware of how their behaviors. Are affecting themselves affecting others that is one of the most like ideal clients because they have like a willingness to change or at least can acknowledge the impact of their behaviors. Because I think the hardest clients to deal with, or just maybe hardest people to deal with in general, or the people who are in denial of what they're doing. I think about like from my own personal experience when I was dealing with an eating disorder in early college. I didn't realize the impact that my parents. I was kind of living in just a very tunnel vision, just thinking about myself, honestly being very selfish in a way, rather than thinking about, okay, how is this impacting other people around me? And I think that was one of the pivotal moments for me in my recovery process is seeing, okay, there are people who are hurting. I had like one of my. Best friends reach out to me. I remember when I was in high school saying, Hey, like me and so and so are super worried about you. And that was like a clicking moment for me of like, Oh wow. Like other people are seeing this. And so that actually motivated me and getting better because I wanted to make my parents proud, my family proud. and not have to live based on those behaviors anymore. and so that self awareness was actually important for me, but, and then there are times sometimes I think if we, Think about from a hindrance perspective. It can hindrance in terms of someone's It's a self awareness, self conscious. I see a lot of clients who are so consumed with what other people think, and they're very self aware of themselves in every social situation. And so, they're ruminating over, what did I say in that conversation? Like, did that sound stupid? Did that sound weird? they're almost too self aware to a fault, um, to where it causes anxiety and overthinking. So, definitely figuring out that balance can be Super hard in times like, you know, just figuring out, okay, how do I be self aware of like how I'm coming across to others, but also not letting it ruin me if I maybe make a mistake or sound weird in a social situation. Cause I think a lot of my clients, they think everyone is looking at them. Like, you know, they're worried about how am I eating in front of people and like having to help them realize like, Not everyone is thinking about you as much as you were thinking about yourself. they literally think that they are like main character energy. And I'm like, I love that in some ways, but also no one is looking at how you're eating your pizza. Like, no, everyone is just trying to eat their pizza for lunch to get on and get on with class. So there is some ways I think self awareness. Or that self consciousness can be a hindrance in some aspects of people's lives. I've always felt like I struggled with self awareness being a hindrance because I'm like you are, I'm a perfectionist. I can get into the mode where I'm like always looking for things in myself to fix or like closely monitoring how I'm doing in certain areas that I want to get better at and it can turn into anxiety or I'm like feeling down on myself because I feel like I'm not succeeding where I want to be changing. So that's where I've struggled for sure but I can, I think part of that too like you said is self consciousness for myself and not feeling like I'm good enough maybe. Yeah and I think Like what I work on with my clients and that is thinking about what is the root cause of like, what is making you feel self conscious? Like a lot of times there's past experiences of, well, someone made me feel this way when I was, I mean, literally it could be like five. And that's where a lot of those standards and expectations come from just like their childhood experiences. So exploring, okay, where is that coming from? And like, how can we. Reframe that now to like, just show more compassion for yourself or when you are messing up because if you have these high standards from yourself, a lot of times you are the one getting disappointed, not someone else. Yeah, for sure. What are some daily habits or specific psychological techniques? that can improve mental health. we like to, at Generational Teapot, we like to give something, each of our listeners, something right then, while they're listening, that they can implement immediately. They don't have to go buy a book. you know, if you wanted to say to somebody who would never go to therapy or is there like one or two things that you can say these two things tend to help facilitate mental health? Yeah, I would say, there was something I read one time. From like the psychologist could not tell you the name, but it was looking at like, what are it's called turn away behaviors versus turn towards so turning towards means what is turning you towards good mental health, like feeling yourself versus turning away means like, you know, what is turning away from that? And so in the book, it asks you to list What would be your turning toward behavior? So, for me, I know if I am reading a lot, because I love to read, or if I'm hanging out with my people, or I'm, you know, getting out of bed at the right time, not, like, sleeping in, those are things that are turning me towards good mental health. But I know, okay, if I am isolating from people several days in a row, if I am maybe not, like, Really not clean that day or something like that. There's like all these things that's like, okay, those are turning me away from good mental health. And I think it can help establish like that self awareness piece that we talked about earlier of like, okay, how am I living my life the way that I want? Would these turn away behaviors? Am I actually doing more of those currently day to day than like. The turning towards and like, how can I fix that? and I think just sometimes like a big thing I work on with my clients is focusing on like one or two things. They really. Want to change and making them like measurable because I think sometimes our society is like we want to Become of course like the best version of ourselves But it's almost we put so much on our plate that it becomes Overwhelming and if you give yourself too many goals at one time, like you're probably not gonna succeed because then they're gonna be down on yourself if you didn't do one of the two of those things So like literally figuring out okay, what are one or two things that I want to change like for example One of my clients, she was like, I just really want to move my body more. And so, instead of the goal being, okay, I want to move my body every single day, what if it's, okay, I'm going to move my body two or three times this week. Like, I'm going to schedule out a walk because it's measurable. You can see, okay, I actually did that. And, That makes you feel good about yourself, of course, like when you're completing those tasks. So I think it's just taking an inventory like what are two or three things this week that you can focus on? because if you just say, oh, I want to become healthier. It's like, okay. Well, what does that mean? Maybe it's like, okay, I'm gonna choose to, go out to eat to like only two times this week. Just like figuring out like what are measurable things I think for like my clients or just like even like myself Um, because I think even good mental health like of course therapy Is so amazing and I would recommend it to like everyone, but also do know that it is a privilege to be able to go to therapy because it is expensive and if you don't have insurance or insurance does not cover it, it is hard and I think there's a lack of access to therapy 1000 percent and so I think, that does make it difficult for people to feel like they can get like mentally well, but there are also like a lot of other ways That you can go about it to try to be mentally well without having to go to therapy like in a sense to but like the turning towards versus turning away. I'm also a list person too. So being able to like actually like list it out and kind of have like a reflection period of like, okay, what goals do I have for myself? And like, how am I living my life the way I want versus are there things I'm doing every day that are maybe turning me. away from my goals, if that makes sense. That was kind of like a word vomit from me, but Yeah, that's awesome. I think it's great when you can simplify things like that and turn it into just like a couple times a week, like you're doing this and whatnot. That's a great tool for people that maybe don't have access to therapy or those that do too as well. Yeah, because I think we just often not de simplify it, but it's like we Make it more than it needs to be. Because I think just like if we see on social media, like just what we're consuming people, it seems like have the perfect life. I'm like, Oh my gosh, how do they have it together? and if we are trying to aspire to that, like we're setting ourselves up for failure because like not every day is going to be like that. And I think just having those like. One or two simple things that you want to focus on can make it seem less scary and daunting, to even just start. For sure. So, next we kind of wanted to branch specifically into mental health for women. Women are often juggling multiple roles, whether it's like having a career, family, having multiple relationships, all kinds of stuff. So, how does this impact their mental health, I guess, for you personally or in the clients you have? If you're saying, like, just like with all the roles that, we have to play, okay. pretty negatively. Um, I would say like, as women, ugh, we have so many rules that we have to fill. Like it is, I was telling my friends the other day, I was like, oh my gosh, being an adult is so hard and I don't know how people do it. I like just now that I'm an adult and like, not. financially relying like on my parents and that kind of thing. It is hard to fulfill the role of like, you know, therapist, daughter, friend, girlfriend, Psychological, there's all these things like trying to do that. I think it's gonna be negative for mental health if we expect perfection from every single one of those areas. because there are some moments where like, say I give a hundred percent of my job, I may be mentally drained after that. Like if I decide to go do something with a group of my friends, I may not be able to give like a hundred percent of myself. and so I think it's like having compassion for yourself of like, How to even make time for yourself. I think it's like the hardest thing because for some people maybe that's like unrealistic if they have so many kids and they're going back and forth from soccer practices and Self care time for yourself is not really realistic. I think it's hard when you're there's just so many Expectations I think for women and men too. I mean, but like if we think about just women and raising a family or just now I think women are becoming more, you know, prevalent in like the workplace or maybe more focused like career wise than, kid wise. I think what I see in some ways is that there's a pressure to maybe conform to something maybe you don't want at that time. Like, you know, when my parents were my age, they were already married, had me and like, you know, now I'm their age and I'm not married. I'm working, but there's maybe that pressure of like, okay, I'm supposed to be settled down having kids. And if my goal is to maybe Focus more my career. There can be, I think, maybe just like a type, a tug between like, okay, am I doing my expectations of fulfillment of like what I'm supposed to do as a woman? But then I feel bad if my, maybe my expectation is different from like what? Society is expecting from me. Wait, were you saying that was, you're like, that's me. I would just say we frequently, I feel like almost on every episode, we bring stuff back to like managing your expectations. As far as like timelines, like whether you're not married at a certain point, or you don't have kids at a certain point, or you don't have that promotion at a certain point, just like managing your expectations as far as your timeline goes. No, literally. Yeah. And I hadn't even known that. So I love little God wink that I thought about that. But literally, I just think about with, Even my own life, like, you know, people, it's almost like the expectation, that timeline of, you know, me and, my boyfriend have been together for, like, almost two years, but there's people will ask, well, like, I mean, if y'all know y'all are going to get married, like, why are y'all not just getting married right now? And I'm like, okay, first of all, hold on. Like, second of all, we love dating each other right now. And of course, like, that is a goal for us, but like. We both don't want to be bound by like a timeline of, okay, like, well, I guess it's time, like, you know, by, by April 2025, like it needs to happen, like, because I think then if it doesn't happen, then you're disappointed. And, I think just because maybe your timeline looks different from someone else doesn't mean that that timeline is. Bad and I think right when you know, one thing happens like I know when I get married immediately The next question is gonna be well, when are you gonna have kids? It's like we can't just enjoy being present I feel like sometimes and like What we're doing right now. Cause I think right now I'm enjoying dating. but then immediately the question is, well, when are you going to get engaged? Like it's, we can't just be happy with like where we're at. I feel like especially right now in your life because you have so many of your friends getting married. Yes. I think that's why I've definitely been thinking about it more in terms of, okay, there's So many, I mean four weddings this year, which is crazy, which is like super exciting, but also a very chaotic but like because those people are immediately people maybe will ask you it's like well Why isn't that you kind of in a way where? It makes you feel a little bit down on yourself, of like, okay, maybe coming, they're coming out of a place of love, maybe, but also sometimes I think if you are self conscious about it, you interpret it as like a tone of judgment in some ways, and I think I'm at a really good place right now where I'm like, I'm so happy with like, Where I'm at that's like, okay, there may be some people who don't agree with my timeline or like what I'm doing. I'm like, but that's okay. I'm not living my life for like, you know, them. And so I think is being when you are authentically yourself and confident with like where you were at. It's very easier to block out that noise. because I'm like no one else has to really understand. But like if I'm so happy with like where I'm at like that is truly like What matters that's awesome. Let's talk about some societal pressures that just this Proportionately affect women's mental health. That was a big word. Much, you talked about one of those, like, when's the best time to get married and, have babies. Well, I think just like in the South, there is like a big pressure about finding your person like as early as possible. and it's so funny because I see this literally with like my clients in high school. because there's a lot that I think just like in the South, typically people get married earlier versus like, Like I have friends that are my age, I live in like New York and there is no questions about like, Oh, when are you getting married? Because like just the age of getting married is higher versus like in the south. Um, and so I think just like culturally it's a little bit lower. And so I've have just some clients that will. Often and I will tell them this to like settle for just not the best guy just to have someone because it's like a fear of missing out or like the scarcity mindset of like there's nothing else out there because it's like they're seeing this pressure maybe even if it's from stories from their parents like oh well my parents were high school sweetheart so it's like well I want to be the same I want I have to find them like in high school and then if that doesn't happen well it's like okay well I have to find them in college and if that doesn't happen then Okay, well, like, now what? Because, like, in the past, you know, from basically just what I know about my parents, a lot of them found their significant other in high school or college. And so if they feel like, oh, well, that's not happening to me, I'm so scared that, like, I'm missing out. And I think that causes maybe some people to get into relationships that they maybe wouldn't have necessarily gone into if, like, they weren't living in that, like, scarcity mindset. and then they're unhappy. And I think that maybe honestly, like, contributes to, Divorce rates later on because if you just want to get married fast or you just really want to be like a wife and a mom, which there's nothing wrong with that all but maybe It causes you to like in a rush into something without maybe thinking through is this actually the person I want to spend the rest of my life with so I see that as like being like a societal pressure, but then I also see, I think, from tick tock on a societal pressure to be super fit to, If we think about just like the typical like eight to five, nine to five job, it is really hard to just have a social life, you know, good sleep working out on top of that. And like, I see a lot of like day in the lives of like these girls who are literally waking up at like 5am and they make it look so aesthetically pleasing of like, you know, get ready for, with me before, my corporate job. It's like they work out at 5am they're able to cook all three of their meals. And so I think there's that pressure of like, Oh, I want my life to look like that. Or if it doesn't. What am I doing wrong? And it is okay if you know you don't have energy to wake up at 5 a. m. to work out and stuff like you're not feeling at life. And so it's like helping people see that like, of course, like you're also seeing a curated video on TikTok that you're not seeing the before afters. I think it's just even looking at, like, how is societal standards from, like, social media, like, impacting what we think life should look like. Definitely is. Yeah. I have to, like, check myself when I get too easily influenced on social media. I think I was doing pretty good on, like, setting boundaries on social media because I could definitely tell it was taking a toll. And then when I started the podcast, unfortunately, I feel like I have to be on there a lot more than I maybe normally would. So I'm trying to set boundaries with that right now and also like remind myself of stuff like that when I get sucked into like Seeing how people's lives are I'm like, okay now like my life doesn't look like that and that's fine with me That's probably not even realistic. It's just I have to remind myself constantly No And it's so hard and I think I often like fall victim to that too and it when I do find that like What I end up will doing like I've had moments where I will literally remove and this is before that 12 hour Tik Tok ban, but so I don't know if it's even available on the app store now, but I would remove the app from my phone because I was like, okay, I'm like unhealthily comparing my life to these people to the point where I'm feeling like it's actually like impacted the way like I'm viewing myself. And so having to be self aware enough to like maybe doing the hard thing of like deleting it for a second. Like I think it can be really hard. Yeah. I had a therapist one time tell me in my late twenties, as far as societal pressures, he said that in the South that families stay together, people don't move around as much as in other areas of the United States, especially and so you fall back into those roles as a family unit. And every time you get back with your family, so you can fall easily into those roles, which could then also be pressure into doing something that you don't necessarily want to right then. But he was just the way he explained it was, there are a lot more issues. With families, like extended families, not just mom, dad, and their children, but more like cousins and parents and grandparents and all that that sometimes there's more pressure on us as Southerners because folks stay together. Grandma still lives in the same house, you know. We, I sent my kids to the same high school that I went to and so on and so forth. So, I thought that was a, a good way for me to kind of position myself to see, okay, I'm dealing with this, and it's not that it doesn't happen to everybody, but the propensity for this type of issue or this communication, negatively impacting my life is probably a little more, geared towards me as a result of just culturally. Yeah. Mm hmm. Yeah, like I think everyone has like their own stories and it's interesting how just like the South, like just like where you live impacts the pressures you feel. so I'd imagine like the pressures I feel right now, like would be different if I lived in somewhere like LA or something. But I think just like. With being from, you know, TR too, it's like very, family unit and I think sometimes, maybe there's that pressure, with some people to, like, repeat history. It's like, okay, my parents went to TR, I went to TR, my kids, I guess, have to go to TR. Like, there's, like, random things like that where there's that pressure of, like, I have to stay here even if maybe I'm not. Happy here. Yeah, for sure. Definitely is different over here. I'm from Colorado and six years now. it was definitely a culture shock when I got here and still is, I would still like to see different things. I'm like, Oh, I guess that's the Southern thing. Yeah. Oh my goodness. I could not imagine, I say about like, Oh, people not ever moving. And I've literally lived in Greenville like all my life. and I would happily do that too. it's interesting hearing other people's perspectives who have either moved out from South Carolina or moved to South Carolina and seeing how. It is so different, and I've never been to Colorado, so I have no idea what it's like, but I would imagine it's a little bit different than here. So went to Tennessee for college, and as soon as I got here, I was like, there's churches everywhere. Yes, every corner. There's fried chicken everywhere. Sweet tea is everywhere, which you can't order sweet tea at a restaurant in Colorado. Like, they just don't have it. Like, you'd be like, I don't have unsweet tea. Is that what you want? Exactly. And then also, like what Rhonda said, I feel like a lot of people stick to more traditional values and the family unit stays together and people are less active here too. Like, in my hometown, you'll go downtown eight, 8am in the morning. And there's like massive amounts of people working out, exercising, running, walking. Like, it's crazy. It's very, very different, but I love the weather down here. I hate snow. So I think I'm not a snow girlie. So I like how we actually have the seasons here, even though during this time of year, it's. So, you know, up and down, like it's hot one week, cold the next. So it is a tease right now. Alright, another couple questions as far as women go. How can women set healthy boundaries in relationships work in family life? Do you have any tips, tricks, or advice for that? Mm hmm. I think The biggest thing I work on with my clients or and even myself too is like the ability of like saying no I think we live in a yes society where we say yes so literally everything in it even if we don't want to like because we don't want to maybe like hurt someone's feelings and That kind of thing and so like I work my clients if we think about just like boundaries because I mean They're so important is being assertive and like what you're saying so like no as a full sentence and sometimes Saying no is saying yes to yourself. cause I think we always are maybe wanting to be like really social or I may say yes to a social plan a week ago, but then maybe I realize when work hits and it's that week that I don't have the social capacity to do like that X, Y, and Z. So like being okay with it. Say no, which is I think really hard. I struggle with that sometimes too, because like, I don't want to let anyone down, but like, I always think about, filling like your tank. So I think about like, for example, like when you fill your gas tank, which I'm notorious for literally putting like 10 in my gas tank for some reason and like having to keep going to the gas station because I just don't want to spend like 40 at one time. And that is such a me issue, but it's like, I use this example of my clients about how like, okay. If you're just putting, like, 10 in the gas tank like me, um, you're gonna have to go to the gas station, like, really quick to fill it up again. because you're not doing enough. Just, like, if we're only doing little, like, half things to keep ourselves going, putting 10 in the gas tank, like, we're not gonna get really far. So it's figuring out, okay, What self care do you need to do to be able to be at like your fullest tank? And so like sometimes for me that means having like a night to myself like not doing any social commitments Like because even though I am like primarily like an extrovert like I love a good time by by myself And so I know okay, I'm running it like 50 percent I need to do something to help me be like better to like My friends like my family and so like having a night to myself is like a way for me to kind of like Recharge my battery. So I always like talk to my clients about okay, what things do you know help recharge your battery? So With like you and your husband for example, like maybe you feel like you haven't done a date night and like forever It's figuring out Okay How can you make time for those things because when you make time for certain things you are gonna make a sacrifice in like a different? area so like Say, for example, like, you know, I had not a lot of sleep, but I also really want to hang out with my boyfriend. I have to choose between getting more sleep or having a really good time with like my boyfriend. So it was like, you have to figure out, like with any choice you make, there may be a sacrifice like on the other end. So it was figuring out like what is a priority and like important to you and like what is okay if it falls off to the side for a second. That's something I've struggled with for sure. Like people pleasing and always saying yes. And what helped for me was like a mental shift of treating my relationship with myself like I would a relationship with a friend. Cause I feel like I was just constantly tramping down on myself, my relationship to like please others or always be there for people or whatever. And I just realized like I have to treat myself with the same care that I would a friend sometimes. Absolutely, absolutely. I love that because I even think about what my clients like. With like our self talk like the things they say to themselves are so negative and it's thinking about okay Would you say something like that to a friend and most of the time it's like, oh my gosh, never and I'm like girl Well, why are you saying it to yourself? And another like analogy I use with like clients is like thinking about like if you're juggling Like say glass balls and then we'll say like plastic balls like when you drop that plastic ball, the plastic ball is maybe Working out or, you know, eating healthy, something like that. Like, if you drop it, it's not going to break. But versus, a glass ball would be your kid's dance recital or something. Like, if you drop it, like, it is going to break. It's going to have, like, a detrimental impact to something. So it's, like, envisioning, like, what are glass balls that are, like, those are the really big commitments. Stuff that's, like, really important. Versus, like, You know, a plastic ball, which is maybe working out one day and if I miss it, it's not gonna be the end of the world. like I may be a little bit disappointed, but like, it's not gonna be that big of a deal. So I think like just even if it's like a visual representation of like what is really important versus like what is something I would like to do, but it's okay if I don't get to do. I love that ball analogy. Yeah. I'm like a visual person. So like that always like helps me see things clearly. That's awesome. How does hormonal health play a role in mental health for women? Uh, the biggest. Oh my goodness. Like, could not, like, emphasize that more. your cycle, like, really affects your mental health. I think sometimes, like, the under, estimate that and that's what I think really low key sucks about being a girl sometimes is our hormones because you know maybe like the week before your period like you know PMS can be really bad and there's actually this thing called PMDD which is like premenstrual mood dysphoric disorder or something like that which means like that you like you know of course any girl has like typical PMS symptoms but PMDD is when your symptoms are actually more heightened. So say someone who is already dealing with like depression or anxiety It's almost like their depression anxiety Worsens to a more intense intensity when they're like a week before their period to the point where it's like actually Debilitating in some ways. It's not just like your normal like sometimes a little bit cranky It's like you'll see some people have difficulty getting out of bed like the week before their period or they're just feeling So down. And so with that, like, I mean, I have some clients who, like, if they're taking medication route will have to take extra medication before their period stars because like their hormones are just impacting their mental health, like in a more negative way. and so I think I see that with a lot of my clients, but just, yeah, like our mental health, like mean when we're on our period, we can be, you know, a raging lunatic in some ways. Like, and I think also sometimes society can like, you know, paint us as being very like hormonal emotional when you're on your period, like that kind of thing, which can be sometimes like annoying or if you're, Say even just emotional at one point people will be like well Are you on your period or something as if you can't be emotional like when you're not on your period or you're acting like that Because of it. I mean it gives you a good reason to be mean or mad sometimes when you are on your period But if someone tries to use that excuse when you're not and you're like, oh my gosh I'm just being mad right now. Like I'm allowed to be mad like that can be annoying but it does for sure just play such a role and I know I've told Jim many times, I am taking myself out. I cannot even stand myself right now. Yes. So, you probably should get away. And I'm gonna go back here and take a really long bath. Yeah, so I think even being like that, like aware of like, okay, what are some things I need to do to like, Even help my husband, like not have to like see the raging beast inside me right now. giving them a heads up, like, Hey, like I am about to be not my best self right now. But we even just like our self esteem is affected. you're bloated a little bit more, you're bloated because like your body's like protecting like your uterus, your organs, all those things. But then that can maybe negatively impact like how you're feeling about yourself too. And so if you're low energy. You may be down on yourself because you're not able to do some of the things that you normally would if you're not Like it's not the time of the month, right? We were talking about maybe doing an episode just on like helping women Understand their cycle and like why they may be feeling the way they're feeling at the moment Whatever. Yes. Not to totally get an OBGYN or something like to be able to talk about, cause like, even I think it's interesting finding out like how certain birth controls like affect your hormones to like, you know, everyone has different responses to like the pill, the IUD and like some people don't want to do like that hormonal approach. So, and figuring out like. Just your cycle in general can be super challenging and I think create like a lot of anxiety for some people like you know if their cycle is not regular, or a little bit like too often, just like I mean our emotions are just like so affected by all of that stuff. Yeah. Okay, next question. More on like a personal question. level. Yeah. So as a therapist, how do you take care of your own mental health? Like what are your go to strategies? I know Rhonda mentioned that you SoulCycle. So it's called CycleBar. it's kind of the same thing. No, I teach at CycleBar, in downtown Greenville, but I've been doing that for. a little over five years now, I started my senior year of college and that's been such a fun thing for me to do like outside of being a therapist. it is definitely one of my ways of like self care. Like it's sometimes hard cause I teach sometimes at night, like it is maybe hard after the work day to want to go and like be loud and like be around people. If anything, I always feel so good like after because I mean, in a way I'm getting like paid to work out, which I'm like, I love that and I'm working out is such a good way for me to move my body like I love doing cycle bar. but then at times I try to do something different from cycle bar when I'm not teaching just to be a student because when I'm teaching cycle bar, I'm still. On, like, you feel like in a way, like a performer, it's like, okay, even if you're having a bad day, you still have to act like you're not, because like, you know, you have all these people relying on you to give you a good workout. and so you have to be mindful of your energy. So I love, a thing I've been doing recently is this Pilates, it's called like lag grease. So it's very like high intensity, but just, using like this Pilates machine and they opened one right near my house. And that is one of my favorite things to do recently because it's not. It's strenuous, but also it's not like, I don't love the HIIT workouts where you're doing burpees, that kind of thing. That's just not my thing. I hate it the entire time. But like, finding a workout that I actually enjoy is so fun for me. And just being a student and not having to be a teacher is so amazing. and then I also love to read. My mom is a librarian, so like, I am like, so into books. Like, reading is one of my favorite things, because I love kind of just having an escape from like, you know, Talking or just like if say, I had a really heavy like work day, just being able to escape and focus on something else. So my mind doesn't wander is so nice. And then also just like hanging out with like my friends and my people. Like, my boyfriend and I, we have like a cat. And so like, we literally will watch like a TV show together and just like chill out and just be. And those are some of my favorite moments because I feel like me and him, like we are on the same like wavelength of like he. No, it's like, okay, if I've had a busy day at work, like I can tell him like, Oh, I'm not really in the mood to like have huge long conversations. And he's totally fine with that. So like finding those people that you can just be honest with, okay, like it is not you that I'm not talkative with. Like, it's just, I had a busy day at work that I kind of just want to like relax my mind and having people who understand that and don't take it. Personally are wonderful. That's great. You're well on your way to a great, healthy relationship. No he is wonderful. Yeah. We actually met at psycho bar too, which is so funny. he wasn't riding my class, but he used to live in D. C. And so, he had just moved down, and he was taking, like, the class before, and I saw him at the front desk, and I was like, oh my gosh, wait, he is So cute. and I was actually the one who like reached out to him. which is very me, um, not doing like society, like what you expect. Cause usually you want the guy to come to you. But I was like, no, like I think he's really cute. And so we always joke about how like he, went after his like fitness instructor. And he's like, no, like I wasn't trying to be one of those creepy guys like waiting outside the gym or anything like that. So. You're like the instructor went after him. I know. I was about to say roles were reversed. So thankfully HR didn't come after me or anything. I pursued them too. She stalked them. Did you really? For 8 months. How did you stalk him? Well, I was going to nursing school. So I was working out. Yeah. He was a life center exercise physiologist. So he worked there. Yeah. For 34 years. Just recently stopped working there. So, yeah, I totally, I was in the best shape of my life. I bet you're good all the time. Oh, four hours a day. A lot of times. Cause I would try to figure out his schedule. That is amazing. It was so fast. I mean, it worked. That is hilarious. Oh my god, and it, yeah, it worked. And here y'all are now. Yeah, it was bad. Borderline stalking, for sure. Borderline? No, it definitely was stalking. Yeah, but I mean, some guys love a little crazy, so. Yes, yes. We just know what we want. Just go for it. Exactly, and it worked out for you, so. Yeah. Note to the users. Yes. Yes. If you want it, just go after it. Just make sure it's not certified level stocking. Right. Right. Don't, don't have any weapons on you. Very important. All right. Next question. What are some misconceptions people have about therapy or therapists that you could correct? I think, that they think a therapist are super, I don't know if the word is like uppity, but like that are very serious. I think it depends on like the therapist, but, I try to be just myself with them. Like I would say, I interact with anyone like my friends the same way I would like interact with my clients in a more professional way, of course. But it's like, I don't try to be. A different version of myself to where it's like i'm super serious or anything like that because I think Clients want to be able to talk to someone who is relatable. and doesn't just have like a A stonewall face. like they want to see someone who has like personality. Um, and also maybe some people worry about like getting judged at therapy and if they feel like they are getting judged at therapy, that may not be the right therapist for them. and I would encourage, like, if I had a client that thought they were being judged, I would want them to tell me that, like, if there was like, they felt like, oh, I feel like you make a face when I say this. So that way, like, you know, you can. anything that they were thinking. because like, I mean, I have one client in particular who like, she's very the self aware of like everyone's emotions. And so I guess maybe my smile was different for her than usual that she literally was like, I think you're mad at me. And I was like, what? Like, I, I'm so sorry you felt that way. I was like, I, Like, you know, you're my first client. Maybe I was a little bit like sleepy at first when I got you, but cause I, but I was like, there's no part of me that is mad at you. And like it made her feel better. And I was so glad that she felt like she could even vocalize that with me. because I think like you want your therapist to like you probably. Um, and so I was so glad that she felt like comfortable even like telling me that, but I think just sometimes people worry about like getting judged or that like the therapist is. Just trying to get money out of people. because it does feel, I mean a little bit achy for me sometimes of like I'm Profiting off of like people say like profiting over like mental illness in a way of you know I sometimes feel and that's maybe a personal me problem like feeling guilty of like, okay, We're spending time together, but then like I'm charging you after and so but like and so some clients will think like oh well, you're just like Talk to me because like you like have to or like you don't really want to be here or something and Having told them no. Okay. No, like I chose this career like for a reason like I care deeply about you and yes, like I get paid for this But that's not also why like I am here with you. You know, I actually want to like build a relationship with you and like get to understand you more. And so I think, um, like that is maybe like a misconception I see in some ways or expecting their therapist to be like perfect or thinking they don't have like any issues themselves. Like I don't self disclose that much because like I want it to be more about them rather than like about me. But like if there's ways I can see, they're judging themselves. Like I feel like it could be relatable for me to maybe share an experience. Like, I was a teenager once before and I remember going through something like this and a lot of times They'll be like, oh my gosh, wait, I'm so glad like you shared that or I will sometimes share like, you know little aspects of my life just so they know like they're not talking to like a stranger not too much where it's giving like so much personal information, but just for them like I'll mention like oh, yeah I like to go to this Pilates studio or something. And so it makes them feel just like they're talking to someone real rather than just like some stranger. Cause like they're having to disclose like their deepest, darkest secrets that maybe they wouldn't tell like someone else. And so they want to feel like that person is safe and like relatable in some ways. For sure. This question is not on our list. So, if we need to come back to it, is there any kind of, financial assistance programs that you know of for folks who aren't able to afford therapy? Yeah, I mean, my practice, like we are. Primarily self pay. but then we submit a super bill to your insurance company. And like a lot of times insurance will reimburse, like most or if not like all of that. but then I think if money is like a tight subject, like finding that therapist, like There's a website called psychology today where you can literally type in like your insurance Have a price range in mind to see if there's a therapist that also will have that but there are to my knowledge I Know there have to be like a few like if you think about like just more like nonprofit organizations that like sliding scales a little bit more affordable. There are some therapists that will offer sliding scale and that's where like they kind of do it based on like your income like that kind of thing and then one place that I think is An affordable option, like for someone who's like, I need therapy, but it's like, I really can't like afford it and like maybe don't have like insurance options is, this is where I did my grad school, internship was, it's called a merge family therapy. And there's 1 in Spartanburg and 1 in Greenville, like right off Pleasantburg and that is where, they're grad school students. So it's like some people, like, I mean, you're getting literally such a discounted rate because, I mean, they're students, but it is 1 of, I think. You're getting really great therapy. I mean, I say that I'm biased cause I went there, but, those people are getting supervised by like the best of the best, like the convert is sort of converse, but like those. Supervisors are therapists themselves. So it's like you are, if anything under such great care, you have to sign a form cause like they will like video your session and the supervisors will make sure like everything's going like according to like plan and stuff like that. And so it's in sessions with literally, I would have some clients pay a dollar, like literally to calm. And it's so amazing for like, especially just maybe someone who is more like that. Low income household that like really needs something and that's why I think they don't care that like your students because They're like there's in such desperate need of help and when I say students It's not like they it's their first day of class I mean like they've already been in the program for over a year and then that's where they're getting like their internship experience but like that is like the first thing I can think of in terms of just like Affordability Like I had a lot of maybe like post grad people calm there because like they couldn't afford something like, yeah, but they wanted to talk to someone about like what they were going through. And so I think I'm very big plug for a birch family therapy. I'll link that their website and psychology. Yes. I called you today. It's like basically like a LinkedIn platform for therapists. It was like, you can type in the issue that you're wanting to work on, like insurance and sliding scale and find literally a therapist, it has like all their pictures, their profile. So you can see if there's one that like you would find as a good fit. Okay, cool. Well, I'll link both of those. Yeah, awesome. That'd be awesome. Thanks for telling us about those. Okay, we're gonna go ahead and skip ahead to our last question. Yeah. So our closing segment that we do on our podcast is called What She Said. I don't know if you've listened to any of the other episodes, but we do that. And in our regular episodes, it'll usually just be like a quote from some famous person that relates to Whatever we're talking about that day, but when we do our interview episodes, we like to get it straight from our interviewee. Yeah. Okay. So what she said today, we want to ask you this, is there a quote, a piece of advice, a mantra, or something that's guided you in either your personal or professional journey advocating for mental health? Ooh, that's a good one. I say this to my clients, but I'm sure someone said this to me first. so I obviously didn't come up with it because it's nothing like really groundbreaking. but, One person's opinion of you is not a reflection of your character because not everyone is gonna like you. I think that's a big valuable lesson. I've learned from just being me is that like I think I used to just want everyone to like me and I would change myself to just make sure that he likes me and say something good. But at the day, it really doesn't matter. Like, you're gonna not be liked by someone. And like, their reason could literally not be valid. And so, having to remember that, okay. So there's one person out there who I know there is like who doesn't like me and wants to like talk crap like Let them that's this whole thing. I've seen on tik tok. We're like, well, let them theory It's like if someone is going to it's like by Mel Robbins that if someone is going to act the way they are like Let them because you can't control how they are going to actually can only control like your reaction, like your response to it. And so just reminding yourself that the way one person thinks about you does not mean that necessarily is like a reflection of like, who you are, because like, what they said could actually not be true. and so just reminding ourselves that not everyone is going to like us and like, that's okay, because if we are just like thriving and making our foundation for affirmation off of what other people think of us, that's a very shaky foundation because the validation from others. We may not be getting that like all the time. And it's important what we think about ourselves, because just not everyone's gonna like that. And so I feel like I say that a lot to my clients and that actually gets through to them of realizing, okay, wait, yeah. I had this one person not like me, but like, that's okay. because I mean there's just a lot of different factors for that, but I think that's one of the things that like I've feel like resonates with my clients. Just knowing that like not everyone is thinking about you as much as you were thinking about yourself and that like not everyone is going to. Like you there's that saying I think that like likeability is a prison because that if you just try to get everyone to like you all the time like you're gonna just like set yourself up for Failure because just I mean some people will not like you for the stupidest reason I feel like sometimes so just realizing that about myself. I feel like has been So freeing in some ways it sure is I that was like a big hurdle for me to overcome like getting myself to actually believe that and like realize that not everyone's judging me. I think like, 1 day I was scrolling on social media and I saw this thing and it was saying. When I am thinking that someone else is judging me, then that's me actually casting a judgment on that person, saying they're judgmental. One thousand percent. That, totally just, like, flipped my brain out and helped me get past that big hurdle, but yeah, that is so important. Yeah, and, like, we often will make assumptions about, like, what someone else is saying. And so, a lot of times I'll call my clients out and be like, okay, are you mind reading what they're saying right now? Because, like, you're interpreting Something out of the message that they sent you and like we can't just assume that someone thinks negatively about us without even communicating and like asking them. So it's like, communication can go a long way with figuring out like, what is actually going on. Yeah, for sure. Well, thank you so much for joining us. It was so cool to actually talk to a licensed therapist and we got so many good insights from you. So we loved having you. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much, Emma. Yes. and every session with and that's the tea way. I love that. That is so fun. Well, that was a T from life of therapist. I love it.