Mastering the Mortgage Game: Dee Dee Kilby on Lending, Growth & Grit

🎧 Episode Description: In this episode of Real Estate Agent Life, we sit down with powerhouse loan originator and branch manager Dee Dee Kilby of Integrity Mortgage Group. From starting her lending career while pregnant with her youngest to building a thriving mortgage business, Dee Dee shares her incredible journey of grit, adaptability, and success in a constantly shifting market.

Join Shane Kilby and co-host Duane Murphy as they dive deep into:

✅ How Dee Dee transitioned into lending and built a thriving business

✅ The importance of problem-solving & relationships in the mortgage world

✅ Why time-blocking & systems are key to long-term success

✅ Lessons from the 2020-2022 boom & the 2023 downturn

✅ The power of surrounding yourself with the right people

✅ How social media & authenticity are bringing in new business todayIf you’re in real estate, lending, or entrepreneurship, this episode is packed with golden insights to help you level up in your business and mindset.

🔥 Don’t miss Dee Dee’s take on standing out in a competitive market and creating success—even in challenging times! 🔥

👉 Connect with the Hosts & Guest:

📌 Shane Kilby

📧 Email: Shane@BrickDriven.com

📲 Instagram: ⁠@shanekilby⁠

📲 Facebook:⁠ @ShaneKilby⁠

📲 LinkedIn: ⁠@ShaneKilby⁠

📌 Duane Murphy

📧 Email: Duane@ExpertRealEstatePartners.com

📲 Instagram: ⁠@duane._.murphy⁠

📲 Facebook: ⁠@https://www.facebook.com/duane.murphy.39⁠

📲 LinkedIn: ⁠@DuaneMurphy⁠

📌 Dee Dee Kilby

📧 Email: DKilby@IntegrityMTGS.com

📲 Instagram: ⁠@ddkilbymortgages⁠

📲 Facebook: ⁠@DDKilbyIntegrityMortgageGroup⁠

📲 LinkedIn:

🎙 Thank You for Tuning in to the R.E.A.L. Real Estate Agent Life Podcast!

We appreciate you joining us for another powerful episode where we dive deep into the world of real estate, mindset, and business growth. If you found value in this conversation, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with your network!

👉 Never Miss an Episode!

🎧 Listen on your favorite platform:

📍 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/r-e-a-l-real-estate-agent-life-podcast/id1790088933

📍 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2LAAYbtPUqYJdTVl83hZXS?si=bf6691d7eccf4688

📍 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@R.E.A.L.RealEstateAgentLif-l6z

📲 Stay Connected & Join the Conversation!

🔹 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shane.kilby

🔹 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shanekilby/

🔹 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanekilby/

💡 Want to be a guest on the show?...

Transcript

Here's a transcript from a recent podcast interview with Dee Dee Kilby, Loan Originator and Branch Manager with Integrity Mortgage Group. Take this transcript and create this episode description, keywords, and title suggestions and recommended CTAs similar to Brokerpreneur Podcast, or Dant Martel podcast. Here's the info: Shane Kilby (01:25.351)

Hello?

Shane Kilby (01:55.564)

you

Duane Murphy (02:20.802)

so long since we've had any of you. don't even know what the hell the questions are anymore.

Shane Kilby (02:21.282)

Thanks a lot.

I'm trying to prototype them in our script thing. You have permissions as a producer now.

Duane Murphy (02:33.411)

I do? I don't see anywhere where can see that shit.

Shane Kilby (02:38.392)

You can't see the script.

Duane Murphy (02:40.899)

No.

I'm running blind on this side.

Shane Kilby (02:44.12)

It's weird.

Shane Kilby (02:48.696)

Let's see.

Shane Kilby (03:28.012)

What I'll is I'll see if I can expand it. I'll take a picture and send it to you.

Duane Murphy (03:43.652)

Good Sunday, thanks.

Shane Kilby (03:44.172)

Yeah.

Shane Kilby (06:20.736)

Ahem.

Duane Murphy (07:17.428)

point that there's no banana.

Shane Kilby (07:17.8)

No bandana.

Duane Murphy (07:24.386)

What the hell? This is the G kill me I know.

she's looking lost like she can read our lips but can't hear us.

Shane Kilby (07:30.412)

Ehh

Dee Dee Kilby (07:37.073)

I can barely hear Dwayne. I can hear Shane.

Duane Murphy (07:40.92)

That's because I'm not by the microphone.

Shane Kilby (07:43.352)

Dwayne, put your mouth up there to that thing like you, you have two on.

Duane Murphy (07:46.914)

I don't even know. I don't even know if it's Didn't hear me now.

Dee Dee Kilby (07:48.837)

she said, white noted.

Shane Kilby (07:50.336)

Octuoni.

Duane Murphy (07:58.2)

I think Shane controls that. He purposely mutes my mic.

Shane Kilby (08:03.128)

Pull that thing on, like Bradley says, pull that thing up there close to your mouth.

Shane Kilby (08:12.076)

Damn you did. You come a long way in like five minutes, Diddy.

Dee Dee Kilby (08:15.901)

That's right.

Duane Murphy (08:18.56)

It's dressed from here up. The rest of it not

Dee Dee Kilby (08:22.473)

my gosh, Shane will come through and he'll have on a collared shirt and workout shorts. And I'm like, you had a zoom today? He's like, I did.

Duane Murphy (08:28.59)

You

Shane Kilby (08:30.38)

That's what I got wrong right now.

Duane Murphy (08:33.876)

I don't want to

Shane Kilby (08:40.226)

You know, it's tough being me.

Dee Dee Kilby (08:42.019)

It is tough being you, it's tough being me, it's tough. Dwayne's skinny and it's not tough being Dwayne right now. You're skinny right now.

Duane Murphy (08:48.003)

I'm what?

I'm skinny?

Shane Kilby (08:51.242)

Well, Dwayne's going through the grinder, through the meat grinder, self -inflicted meat grinder. So...

Duane Murphy (09:01.132)

Yeah, yeah, in a couple of different ways.

Duane Murphy (09:07.108)

Yeah, I hopped on the scale last night, which usually, right, your heaviest weight, like in the evening, cheating to weigh yourself in the morning, which I normally do. But I was on, I haven't been under 190 pounds in.

Duane Murphy (09:34.519)

I was 189 .4. I was like, holy hell.

Shane Kilby (09:44.236)

That boy, Warmy! ha! Somebody give him a poor job!

Duane Murphy (09:46.5)

I was up to 225. So I appealed 30, damn near 36 pounds.

Shane Kilby (09:56.14)

So all it takes is a major real estate shift and then shake down.

Duane Murphy (10:00.802)

Yeah, throw in some personal shit, throw in some real estate.

Shane Kilby (10:05.698)

Yeah, yeah. You know what they say, we are where we are for the decisions that we've made. I'm like, I thought I was making better decisions than that.

Duane Murphy (10:12.63)

you yeah it's amazing what it will do for it's amazing what it'll do for your for your weight so i just have to figure out how long this great real estate recession shit's gonna last because i need to know if i have enough pounds to survive it

Shane Kilby (10:32.344)

Trust me, season's coming up, little Debbie will take care of that.

Dee Dee Kilby (10:32.669)

You don't.

Duane Murphy (10:37.794)

Yeah, Lil Debbie better be stuffed with hundred dollar fucking bills.

Duane Murphy (10:44.164)

She better be stingoing stuff with hundred dollar bills to sand and we'll solve two problems.

Shane Kilby (10:46.306)

Well...

Shane Kilby (10:51.5)

Well, you know, it's like Sean Whalen said, he said, you know, I he's like, you need to stay in that place of uncomfortable, uncomfortable, you know, place of pain is what created your success. Yeah.

Duane Murphy (11:08.705)

The place of pain he's going he's going through some of it right now, Annie I Was on a private zoom with him Should fucking invited you my bad Bring it up now I can send you the recording but But it was

Shane Kilby (11:13.599)

yeah. Yeah.

Shane Kilby (11:22.488)

for.

Shane Kilby (11:27.544)

Appreciate it,

Duane Murphy (11:31.812)

It was just a private zoom with with a packs, you know, it about 30 of us on the on the zoom call with which Sean Whalen and us and, you know, and just classic Sean, he didn't hold no punches, you know, and just let everything flow. But yeah, he's going through, he's going through some shit in his head and whatnot with, his divorce and all that stuff. So, you know, it's amazing the, the condition and the shape that that boy's in right now. And the.

ass kicking and name taking he's doing in business right now. You know, just yeah, she left him.

Shane Kilby (12:04.866)

Is he going through another one?

that sucked. That sucked.

Duane Murphy (12:11.062)

And it just tearing that boy apart, AKA why social media has been on fire lately. And a lot of where the social media is directed, he's fighting some inner demons on that shit right now.

Shane Kilby (12:18.146)

Yeah.

Shane Kilby (12:28.492)

Yeah, I saw Ryan Stumman, you know, of course you can never know if Ryan's full of shit and he just, it's a marketing ploy or what, but he dumped all his shit out there the other day too, in a long post. And he just went full savage. But he was talking about, know, just having to rebuild and he had some cancer in his camp and you know.

No matter how many hours he worked and how much he charged for fees and stuff, you still turn around and he's got IRS up his ass and all this. He's like, turn around and have people for all this and that. Because he's a past convicted felon, so I he can't even spin on the sidewalk, right? So he was, I think it was Sunday, what's day, Tuesday, Wednesday? I think it was Sunday or it was a dark post. some of these guys, you're like, this marketing?

This guy baiting, but I don't think it was. Matter of fact, know, Chep like chimed in and said, I got your back brother. I'm phone call away, know, call me, you know.

Duane Murphy (13:35.01)

Yeah, I think it was legit. He does do some of that obviously for clicks and hits and whatnot, what's that?

Shane Kilby (13:41.25)

Come to the mic. Come to the mic. Now you know it.

Dee Dee Kilby (13:45.819)

There you go.

Duane Murphy (13:48.313)

I don't know where the volume control is on this thing is there one

Shane Kilby (13:52.184)

You're good as long as you're there. It's best you can do for 20 bucks.

Duane Murphy (13:55.148)

Well yeah, but I gotta talk like this, it's just a little weird.

Duane Murphy (14:01.006)

Hello, I'm Johnny Cash.

Duane Murphy (14:06.552)

But yeah, but he's been, they literally tore Apex down to almost nothing. He fired like everybody he in leadership, everyone. Some were stealing from him, some were just cancer, cancer of the worst way. And he ended up losing half the membership because they're less like, what the fuck? Like every day you're letting someone go, there's someone gone. Like, what the heck? I thought,

Dee Dee Kilby (14:06.641)

What?

Dee Dee Kilby (14:18.885)

Thank

Shane Kilby (14:20.684)

Yeah, if that was real then that's what he was talking about.

Duane Murphy (14:34.338)

you know, these people were our culture. And then of course, right, there's everybody, right. It just like in any damn divorce, right. Or relationship and everyone's picking F and sides, right. And so you're either left or you're right. You not very many people are going to be true center, right. Even if they say they are, they aren't right. So you're either one way or the other, there isn't really a center. And, and that happened with Apex and,

Shane Kilby (14:49.354)

yeah.

Duane Murphy (15:00.258)

you know, and lost a ton of people. So there's a ton of new faces in Apex right now compared to where they used to be. And then he brought in, he brought in Elliot's right hand. So he brought in Sean Pollard, mindset monster. So he brought in Sean Pollard from the Elliot group.

Shane Kilby (15:22.018)

Mm -hmm.

Duane Murphy (15:27.714)

And then brought him in and now he's pretty much, you know, he's pretty much Ryan's right hand runs almost everything. And then he also brought his wife into the business, put her in as CFO and, and a few other positions and whatnot. Cause she's, she's smart as shit. I mean, she's got her series seven and all this other crap, but she never had anything to do with Apex, you know? And he's like, well, shit, you know, that's the last time I'm going to make the mistake of not having someone I know and love, watch my money, you know, in.

and where shit's going. So he brought his wife in, which is first time he's ever done that.

Shane Kilby (16:02.072)

Yeah, he was saying like we would crush an event and come back and to see that we had 100, 100, excess $150 ,000 worth of fees and stuff that were never expected, never known about. And it's like just completely wipe out the damn event, put it in a hole and say, yeah, so I guess it was, he put it out there. He's got good people around him in that circle.

But you can tell like he came back out, he was humble. was like, you know, now I get back. Now I've got regained control. Now I can get back to doing what I enjoy doing and doing it at a fee that I feel is justifiable instead of doing these obnoxious fees. And then I'm still a hundred grand in the hole. He said, I'm lean and now I can get my fees back in line and affordable. know, which I'm sure everybody's, you know, you know, measuring up, do I go to four events? Do I go to two events? You know, cause like, like Andy's and Arte's like, Jesus Christ.

The last one was 15 grand to get in the door, get in the door, to sit at the table, it was like 30 grand. Holy fuck, that's crazy. But you know, it just, just, you know, it just up the A players and weeds out C players and you know, cause why are C players C players? C players are because they talk the talk, but don't walk the walk.

Duane Murphy (17:10.244)

Yeah.

Dee Dee Kilby (17:13.039)

See you.

Shane Kilby (17:22.528)

You know, B players are there, they're walking the walk and not talking it. And of course, A's got the best of both worlds, they're walking and talking. So, we're going to get started. I'll kind of record the whole thing so we can edit it as needed. So we are here today, we're shooting a podcast for Real Estate Agent Life. And this podcast is all about exactly what the name of the podcast is, Real Estate Agent Life.

the goods, the bads, everything in between. So if you like, end up, you listen to this or download this podcast, please like, please like and share with someone that might find humor in this podcast or see some value in this podcast. You know, real quick, my background, you know, I've been in real estate game about 20 years. I know my gray hairs don't show that. So, but my partner in crime, DeWayne, he has no hair. So at least I can color mine as needed. And DeWayne, a little bit about your background.

Duane Murphy (18:21.092)

Yeah. 18, 19 years in real estate, which is why I have no hair and run a brokerage. Got a few other businesses off of real estate, much just like Shane does. And, here to talk to some of the best in the business, like our guest today.

Shane Kilby (18:36.376)

Yeah, so we're going to deliver these short, sweet podcasts, 15, 20, 30 minutes worth of hopefully extreme value. That's the goal here. And it's not about me. It's not about DeWayne. It's about finding like -minded people out there in the industry and like industries to share some insight, struggle, strive, hurdles, success, a little bit about where they created that success.

Dee Dee Kilby (18:57.597)

Yeah.

Shane Kilby (19:01.142)

and a little bit of insight so we can all gain and get traction from their insight and just other like -minded folks across the industry. So today we do have a special guest. Definitely a very special guest in my world is Dee Dee Kilby with my Integrity Mortgage Group. And so Dee Dee, tell us a little bit about your background, how long you've been in lending.

Dee Dee Kilby (19:22.537)

I've been in lending, let's see, I started to get my license when I was pregnant with our youngest. So she will be 10 in April. So that is how long I have been kicking tires in the lending industry.

Shane Kilby (19:44.152)

So what made you want to get into lending?

Dee Dee Kilby (19:49.545)

Well, my husband that I share the same last name with on this call

Duane Murphy (19:55.364)

Is that the Kilby -Kilby connection here I'm seeing on the screen? I think he has your mic muted just a bit. Maybe it's just my side. Is it just mine?

Dee Dee Kilby (19:58.813)

We are a killby connection there.

Dee Dee Kilby (20:06.895)

No, it's probably mine because I'm on computer. don't have a hard mic. Can you hear me or do I need to connect the headset?

Duane Murphy (20:11.286)

Okay, that's all right. We'll do.

Shane Kilby (20:15.544)

I hear it perfectly. It's just, you know, Wisconsin internet. it's Wednesday. They probably, they don't restock till Thursday.

Dee Dee Kilby (20:19.653)

Mm -hmm.

Duane Murphy (20:19.715)

you

Duane Murphy (20:24.893)

Yeah, think Shane has those husband years that like.

Dee Dee Kilby (20:29.947)

or doesn't, one or the other.

Shane Kilby (20:33.376)

I listen, I listen a lot.

Dee Dee Kilby (20:36.443)

Duane Murphy (20:36.462)

Sorry, didn't mean to cut you off. So your husband forced you into lending?

Dee Dee Kilby (20:42.985)

Pretty much. was a twist my arm and do this. No, I had been in sales and it was 8 to 5, punch time clock and it was time for a change. And I don't have a lot of family here. We've of course got a great support system here. We've got babysitters and friends and people that turn into family over the years, but my mom and dad live in

Birmingham right outside of Birmingham so when we had Cory I needed something that wasn't so restrictive and Little did I know getting into lending Was definitely gonna be a lot more than 40 hours a week I was just able to do it from home with a baby crying in the background and juggling all the things but that was ultimately the reason was more flexibility and

If I wanted to go to work at 5 a I could go to work at 5 a If I needed to clock out for a couple hours, I could go back to work at 6 p So it was flexibility in the beginning.

Duane Murphy (21:50.114)

Nice. So what advice would you give someone considering a career in lending?

Dee Dee Kilby (21:51.367)

you

Dee Dee Kilby (21:57.865)

It is all about creativity. You are absolutely in the relationship game and the problem solving game. You are not really in it to, if you want to get into lending for a paycheck, you're in the wrong industry. You can be extremely successful, which I've seen some huge success over the last 10 years that I've been in the business. I've also seen some really down months.

so circle back to what I said about it being, it's not for the faint of heart. you do have to have a thick skin in this business. You also have to think outside the box. And I realized even, you know, a couple of months ago was sitting, it was, I guess it was in June and we had a, we had a really good June and I was trying really hard to make a loan work.

And at that moment, I realized how much I still enjoy making a hard loan work. And I feel like the day that I quit loving that is the day that I need to get out of the business. People give you everything on a silver platter and hope that you can, well, they don't give it to you on a silver platter. They may give it to you on a rusted platter and then you have to turn it into a silver platter is what you've got to do.

So you have to take it from start to finish, but the day that you quit loving it is the day that you need to get out of the business. Because at that point, you're out of the relationship.

Shane Kilby (23:31.138)

So you would, so, all right, somebody got feedback. So in that process, you say it's, you need to be passionate about problem solving in that lending space? Would that be fair to say?

Dee Dee Kilby (23:31.482)

I'm sorry, myself.

Dee Dee Kilby (23:50.953)

Yeah, I think you need to be passionate about whatever you're doing. you're a roofer, if you're bagging groceries at Walmart, if you are digging ditches, if you're installing HVACs and it's 110 degrees outside and you're going do it again next year, you know, in Alabama, it's always hot. So you've to be passionate about whatever industry you want to be in. If you are brand new starting in this business, to go back to what Dwayne was asking, if, you know,

you've got to get up every day and make sure that that's what you want to do because you have a lot of people depending on you at the end of the day. You're the money. You're also the only person that doesn't get paid at the closing table. So explain that one to me when you're the one bringing the money to the closing table. And ours is just different for anybody listening that doesn't know how that works. It's all got to go through the process to make sure it's all legal money. But if you don't love people,

you don't love problem solving, and you don't love creating your own business, then this not the industry for you. But there's a lot of business still to be had in the lending world and real estate world.

Shane Kilby (25:03.0)

So, mean, could someone be successful in business and landing just punching the time clock? Some of the world doesn't really understand working before 8 a and working past 5 p They got stuff to do. They don't want to be tied to anything that long. Would you say that you could be successful in a specific 40 hours a week in that career? Or you think it takes more than that or what?

Dee Dee Kilby (25:33.097)

Again, in any industry that you're in, I think you're going to get out what you put into it. It's all about mindset. So if, you know, if, if I've got a buyer that doesn't communicate with me until seven or eight o 'clock, because in the perfect example, I've got a lady right now, she works 80 hours a week. She truly works two 40 hour jobs to stay afloat. And the only time that we can talk to her is seven or eight o 'clock at night.

So if you are not determined enough to, and I don't want to say determined. I don't want to say determined because some people are determined and they work overnight shifts and I'm not working an overnight shift. But if you can't find a way to make that work and sometimes flex when the buyer needs the flexibility, then it's not for you. Not everybody can fit inside that eight to five job. I know for a fact that if I punch the time clock at 8 a and I clocked out at 5 p

then I would have lost a lot of business over the years.

Shane Kilby (26:40.342)

Do you have any regrets?

Dee Dee Kilby (26:43.337)

in getting into lending? That's a great question.

Duane Murphy (26:44.205)

Hmm.

Shane Kilby (26:45.58)

Yeah, I know you don't regret me, so we're keeping it clean, we're keeping it real, keeping it the career path.

Duane Murphy (26:53.982)

Hahaha!

Dee Dee Kilby (26:54.057)

there are a lot of things I would have done differently. Do I regret being a lender? No. Is hindsight 2020? Absolutely. So I had a meeting yesterday, a presentation with a group of, there were a couple of senior agents in there. They've been doing it a long time, but there's a lot of rookie agents in there too. There's about 12 of us in there and I did a presentation and,

We got talking about one of them had actually lived for 2008, 2010 when the market crashed and then there was only two in the room that had been through 2020 and 2021. And if I could go back and redo my thought process from 2020 and 2021, I would tell myself then what I would have done different to plan.

for 22, 23 and 24. And nobody could ever, nobody could ever plan for 2020 and 2021. Nobody had that penciled in. But I had to regroup, redo, rebuild 100 % in the end of last year. And I have seen more success between October of 23 to today.

than I ever would have thought in the middle of 22, because that was a hard time right there in the middle of 22. And we talked about it yesterday as well, the guys that had been through the market crash, and he told me it was harder to revamp and rebuild after 2020 and 2021 than it was when the

Duane Murphy (28:45.476)

Yeah, 2022 is definitely a challenging year. think mostly from the standpoint of

Everyone got whacked when the zombie apocalypse came, you know, and everyone said, nope, never going to allow that, allow that to happen again. We'll be prepared. Who knows, right? Some, some sort of stupid thing like that will happen again and everyone's going to be prepared and we're not going to get caught with our, you know, caught with our pants down, so to speak. And, and then all of sudden the real estate market boomed, right? Landing boomed. all.

you know, had stupid amounts of business in 2021. And then all of a sudden 22 did what it did was stop and like instantaneously, which all of us swore that we would be ready for it if it ever did happen. But yet, honestly, I don't think anyone was ready for it because nobody saw it coming. And it was just that, okay, well, we should have time to be able to see the slowdown coming.

And ultimately, don't think anybody saw that slowdown coming because it came so fast, so hard, and then brings us to this present time today. But that's it.

Shane Kilby (29:56.952)

It's hard to plan when the wheels on the bus are perfectly cruising down the highway and then they all fall off.

Duane Murphy (30:02.838)

All four off at the same time. And by the way, we're the only industry like that right now. The rest of the world may not be perfect in every industry or whatnot. They're all feeling some sort of pain or cost hike or whatever, but there's no, there's no industry or profession feeling the effects of their own personal recession like real estate is right now. But you know, it's.

It you get stronger what you go through. So you get through on that other end. Speaking of getting stronger on the other side. So what's your biggest challenge right now that you have in business personally?

Shane Kilby (30:41.858)

That's a good one.

Dee Dee Kilby (30:42.953)

That is a good one. Always and forever, my biggest hurdle will be time blocking. Now that is a personal thing. If you take it to the business side of things, had to, I don't want to say I went from zero deals at the end of 23, but rates had peaked out so high. I mean, we were locking over 8%.

And when you come from something that is, mean, the lowest I ever locked was 1 .75. What is that? 1 .75. Free. Free. Don't say free. Yeah. so 1 .75 and we had had so much business in the refi market and refis are also just, if a refi comes along, that's fantastic. I cannot.

Shane Kilby (31:19.948)

That's free.

Duane Murphy (31:20.59)

Free money.

Dee Dee Kilby (31:39.497)

on putting food on my table with a refat. So I always have to go into mindset of looking for somebody to purchase a home, looking for somebody to make a move, sell one to purchase one, that kind of thing. But my biggest hurdle is holding on to a pre -approved buyer. We have, I would say, more than 100 pre -approved buyers right now. More.

that easy 150 maybe maybe 200 pre -approved buyers from 2022 until now so over the last two years loan applications come in yes you're pre -approved but they may be waiting on that rate well we circled back with somebody yesterday they're moving in their new home next week guess what we didn't do long we didn't do long we followed up with them

Duane Murphy (32:30.818)

Ouch.

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Dee Dee Kilby (32:37.211)

exactly like we should have. And you can go back and see the paper trail because I, you know, I want my team to, we have notes and a process and, you know, systems and processes were something we also revamped back in October as well. And it took us a while to rebuild everything, but you have a click, a click here, a pre -approval, a this, do that, go on TikTok, you can get a loan, you go on Instagram, you can get a loan. So we fight.

whatever's top of mind at that moment. And there's just some of them you can't get. And there is nothing that makes you sicker than you have done all the things and you still don't get the deal. So, and they didn't come to us to price it. They didn't come to us for any of it. So they ghosted us for about four or five weeks right there. And then yesterday we circled back. She's like, we actually bought and.

Duane Murphy (33:27.63)

Thanks for checking up on us. We'll recommend you to everybody in the future.

Dee Dee Kilby (33:31.687)

Exactly, exactly. this was actually, and I did not have the conversation, but this was another, this was another team member and she had, she'd done exactly like she was supposed to. And she called and she said, what did I do wrong? And I said, you can't, you can't get them all. You can't. And we are in that position where we had so many that have waited on the, the rate to drop. can't get them all. Do I want them all? Of course I want them all, but you can't get them all. And I think that's my biggest hurdle is going by.

making sure these people are getting grip on, for lack of a better word, and they're being marketed to, and we have them in the correct follow -ups because when they're ready to buy, it may have been two years ago with an 8 % rate, and they said, well, we'll wait till the rates drop, when the rates have dropped now. So that's gonna be our biggest hurdle.

Duane Murphy (34:19.384)

Yeah.

Shane Kilby (34:19.404)

Yeah, I think sometimes being it's actually on your end. just checked. That's where they just look in your setting to turn the echo switch on. That's what it told me on this end that it's your other partner that has the echo issue. So but I think sometimes that ends up being there's a good clients, good leads, good relationships. And I think sometimes we've done our job so good.

Duane Murphy (34:24.92)

Kill me, you're echoing.

Duane Murphy (34:28.865)

Okay.

Shane Kilby (34:49.292)

that they feel guilty. They're like, yeah, I feel guilty that I haven't given this person this opportunity. And so now I'm like ashamed. So now I'm just, gotta fulfill what I need to fulfill in the buyer sale and get this financing arranged and take care of this. And maybe they won't ever reach back out. And I can say it's cause you never reached back out to me, but they did reach back out to me. yeah, we bought, we closed and it's awesome. And thank you so much for all your help.

Thank you for the note cards and the gift cards and all of the you know Christmas photos and the likes and love on social media. Thank you so much Yeah, but I do think but there's old saying like you know, know Wayne Gretzky quote No matter how good you are. No matter how bad you are. You're gonna miss 100 % of the shots. You don't take So I know for you DD I know for Dwayne and myself and everybody else in these two industries that hear this and they've been in the business any length of time like

There's nothing to take the win out of your sales temporarily than the piece of business that you know you should have had. Right? When you first start, like, wow, that's what follow -up means. I guess I need to do a better job of follow -up. And then you do a better job of follow -up. And it's like, that still happens from time to time. But I had other deals in my pipeline. A 10X roll comes into play, and it's not as painful, but still hurts a little bit. But at the end of the day, I do think that there's an old saying.

Dee Dee Kilby (35:51.45)

Mm

Shane Kilby (36:14.732)

Not good enough to get them all. We're not bad enough to miss them all. It's that chemistry alignment and the time. It's all about the timing. Didi, so I know you got a time crunch, hard time crunch here. One last question. We all have influence in our lives, whether it's for this moment, this season, this reason, this purpose, this timeframe. But who would you say is the greatest influence to your success and why?

Dee Dee Kilby (36:43.561)

man. Well,

Dee Dee Kilby (36:51.763)

You know, and I don't want to say when I started in lending and

Shane Kilby (36:59.32)

Apologize to the

Dee Dee Kilby (36:59.481)

When I started in lending, I didn't have a lot of guidance. And I think I've shared this before. The guy that actually kind of took me under his wing, he told me I didn't know how to spell DTI. I will tell that story forever and ever and ever. And his name is Daniel and he's great. He's still doing well. He's still in lending. I guess he'll be in lending forever because his kids are still in college.

So I didn't have a lot of guidance and we were not in the same city. So I had to teach myself, okay? As far as like lending and basics and that kind of thing. Well then, fast forward, you start learning a lot about the business in 2019 and 2020. Well, I had to pay attention and I don't know if anybody else has this same.

dynamic with their husband, but when your husband suggests something and happen to be in the same industry, you're not really listening the first time. So anyways, he kept pushing for me to find some help, find some help, find some help. Well, that's where it kind of started. Like I don't need any help. I've got it. It's fine. We're going to do more than 120 something deals in 2020, but I've got it. It's fine. Remember these deals didn't start till after Matt.

Duane Murphy (38:14.926)

the

Dee Dee Kilby (38:28.009)

So, got some help.

Shane Kilby (38:31.96)

That was the 11th year. What was it? April? We lost the whole month or whatever? Yeah.

Dee Dee Kilby (38:34.825)

Right, that's what I'm saying.

Dee Dee Kilby (38:40.359)

April we lost a whole month and then May is when the floodgates opened. So what is that? It was only nine -ish months of the old thing, which is, which is ludicrous. So we, I hired some help and then he said, you better have a backup plan because she's not going to be here forever. Well, lo and behold, I wasn't listening again.

And she comes in and she's like, I'm moving to Florida. I said, well, how about that? So then I hired somebody else. Well, then I start paying attention and he starts giving me, and this is Shane I'm talking about. And you know, the closest person to you is always the person you're going to take it out on as well. So it makes for an interesting dynamic at our house. And I know there are other people in this world that work together. We know several that have a lender.

agent relationship inside their home. Or we know several that have agent -agent relationship at their home. But that's also the person you probably need to lean on because if they're a successful agent or if they're a successful lender, you need to pay attention. Okay. So I started paying attention and he's always, and Shane, this is, mean, of course I'm talking about Shane, but Shane is always, he's always listened to motivational speakers. He listened to motivational.

Duane Murphy (39:52.824)

Success leaves clues.

Dee Dee Kilby (40:03.913)

Books on tape, I guess, before there were any social media and all the things with Zig Ziglar and you know, books and what is the little red book sales book chain? Yeah, so he listened to all these anyways, fast forward. I would say 20. The end of 22, the beginning of 23 is where I'm like, OK, I've got to start making some money. So that's when I ended up hiring another person to the team because I had to we had to grow.

Shane Kilby (40:14.904)

Where'd get him from?

Dee Dee Kilby (40:33.967)

I had to have some help. And then it was like, he kept warning me the market's going to shift, the market's going to shift.

But he was also the same person that helped rebuild, that helped me rebuild everything. So October of 2023, he said, you got to get back in your business. You physically have to get back in your business. You have to get in the day to day. And I'm very Stan Allfish when he brings me something. And he was like, do you want to do 75 hard? And I'm like, no, absolutely not. for those of you that don't know what that is,

Amy Frisella, and I actually started following Emily Frisella, who is Amy's wife and she's a killer as well. She's a go -getter, she's a hustler, she's a headhunter. So I started following that and I'm like, okay, well I'll tiptoe into that. You don't tiptoe into 75 hard, you just do it or you don't. There's no end in way. I heard that every day, you're either in it or you're not. And I heard it from Frank Gilby. And so we did that and then it got to the point where there were no deals coming in. There were no refis, there was no anything.

Duane Murphy (41:28.494)

No.

Dee Dee Kilby (41:43.145)

And he said, you need to, you need to, we need to like, you need to really, really, really listen to this John Chetlack guy. Again, standoffish, don't care, not listening to him say this. Well, then I am on board. I'm listening to his podcast. I'm listening to his videos. I'm listening to, I'm watching his social media posts. And then I myself sitting in a room with John Chetlack. And I can 100 % say that when he finally got me in that room, that in, this was in March.

And we were last minute because I had been sick in February and we were last minute and Shane actually reached out direct to John and said you have two extra tickets and he did and I don't want to know what we paid for him. There's no telling and that is where my business completely changed because of the push that he had on me to make me be in the room with the right people to pay attention to listen and March is when I physically put my feet back in my business.

And my goal by the end of August is to have 20 pending and we're at 16 today.

Duane Murphy (42:52.61)

That's pretty impressive.

Dee Dee Kilby (42:52.681)

So all that to say, who you surround yourself with is so important. If you were surrounding yourself with the weakest people in every room, find another room.

Shane Kilby (43:08.204)

Like they say, A players won't play with C players. And listen to your spouse.

Dee Dee Kilby (43:13.257)

100%, 100%. And it's, well, I don't know if that's entirely true, because if there's no clean underwear in the house, Shane's just gonna go buy new, okay? So like, it's, we have that kind of dynamic. He's not doing the laundry, he's not doing the dishes. But I guess I

Shane Kilby (43:30.562)

No, my drawers are on Amazon, all those ship every six months, so have plenty of underwear, I'm good. If that's the worst thing that happens in my life, I'm okay. I can be resourceful, I can be resourceful. I don't wanna slow her down or get in her line of sight in her crosshairs to go, hey, I some underwear.

Dee Dee Kilby (43:36.965)

job security here but you

Dee Dee Kilby (43:51.497)

will say this too, Dwayne, and you were a part of this group, and we meet up a couple of times a year. And it is such a breath of fresh air to surround yourself with people from all over the United States that have a different look on your business. And our buddy Mike West, I don't know if, I think he's Shane's buddy, but Shane's buddy Mike West, he is so brutally honest, and he just got into lending.

Shane Kilby (44:15.852)

I don't know why.

Dee Dee Kilby (44:21.277)

but he will look at me and say, why'd you do it that way? And you need people like that in your life that are gonna say, I would have done it this way, or here is a suggestion for you. So you've got to surround yourself with people that are gonna call you on your mistakes, but they're also there to say, you're at the bottom, let's rebuild.

Shane Kilby (44:46.742)

Yeah, and why is a very powerful word, probably the most powerful word in our vocabulary. And our kids, nobody uses the why clothes better than our children. You you can't do this. Why? Because I said, why did you say so? What's your rationale behind that thought process? To the point where you're like, like, just go, just do whatever, you know, but it is, is, that's pills back, like to see where that came from.

Because if you don't know why you did something, then it's hard to correct that action to create a new habit so that you don't go back there and do that again. Well, Diddy, it's been a very informative insight and podcast shoot with you today. We definitely greatly appreciate your time out of your crazy hectic schedule. And listeners and viewers out there, like, I mean, we are on the same roof, but we literally

sometimes pass each other in the hallway at 5 a and meet for dinner at 7. So it's not that type of atmosphere, but we do support one another greatly in our business and our purpose and passion.

Duane Murphy (45:55.221)

Yeah, I would say that as husband and wife combos go, not that you two have everything figured out and every day is rainbow and roses, but as a married couple goes, doing business together, you're interlinked in lot of different ways. You two...

You two are the case study probably of how to excel and make it work. So you both should be super proud of that. There's no doubt that that is not easy. There's many that have failed at that. But you two continued to excel at it. And honestly, I would have to say that that

at least from what I've seen, because I've known the two of you now for a decent amount of time. And we get to spend a lot of time together, sometimes unannounced, when I show up in Alabama on a red -eye flight. But just to let you know, now that I know where you live, probably going to do it again. Yep, I gotta come visit my little buddy. But you two continue to raise that bar, continue to elevate.

Dee Dee Kilby (46:49.768)

Yeah

Dee Dee Kilby (47:01.137)

Exit our expectations.

Duane Murphy (47:11.198)

And literally, it's getting better at it every day. I mean, it's amazing what both of you do with your businesses and how you correlate. Again, not that it's always perfect, but you definitely have more good days than bad days. it's an impressive thing. You both have built amazing businesses from where they were to where they are today. And I tell you what, the trajectory of where they're going is even more impressive.

Shane Kilby (47:39.574)

Yeah, I think the key to that for us has been, I mean, really, like, we're both as high D as we are. We are both good listeners. We know when to listen and then we know when to speak. you know, so we support each other in that aspect. And we know like when one's on that role, like, all right, just be a man of few words and just listen to what she's got to say.

And then speak when she's ready for you to speak. mean, I'd say it like this, guys, have to listen. It is what it is. There's times when that soul mate speaks and you need to know when to speak and when not to speak. So that's probably the most important part of how we communicate is being great listeners.

Duane Murphy (48:25.021)

This is a great podcast. We got some advice for agents. We got some advice for some LLs and we just threw in some marriage relationship advice. mean, like this is the whole thing. Like all we need is a little bit of financial advice and we could just wrap this whole package.

Shane Kilby (48:31.896)

My demise.

Shane Kilby (48:40.438)

Hey, and even fifth wheel advice, right? Fifth wheel advice. Don't leave fifth wheel advice out.

Duane Murphy (48:45.444)

Exactly. Next thing you know, we'll have to go down the road of, on a different day, we'll have to go down the road of, you know, vehicles and that whole story. Cause Didi, that post you put out yesterday, like had me rolling. I was literally almost crying because I can envision it and see it and I can even hear it, how the whole conversation goes down. that,

If for anybody, if anybody wants part of that, you're to have to, you're going to have to, reach out to, to DD and get the, get the entire story. But so speaking of, of reaching out to you, how does someone get in touch with you? How does, if somebody wants to reach out to you, follow you, talk to you, just get advice, whatever the heck it may be, how, how to, how can someone find you?

Dee Dee Kilby (49:37.865)

I am, you can always give me email, can always give me text message. Cell phone is 256 -627 -6102. Text message goes a long way in 2024. So if you don't get me anywhere else, that's where I'm on social media. I have got, let's see, LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook. I do have a TikTok. Most of my...

Success, I would say, comes from my Facebook videos and I picked up two, one purchase and one refi yesterday, all for the video that was real life. That's just what it is. People don't love smoking mirrors, people love real life. So yeah, follow along on Facebook. It's DDKilby Integrity Mortgage Group and DDKilby Mortgages on Instagram.

Shane Kilby (50:37.458)

And with that, we'll put you guys ready to put a bow on this. As our friend, Dr. Ben would say, all the credit goes to Dr. Ben on the bow. Yeah, so we'll put a bow on this. Folks, if you see this on YouTube or you're listening to this on your favorite podcast, download Outlet there, please hit that like button. And if you would do us a kind favor and give us a great review on this podcast, that's how we rise up in the rankings.

Dee Dee Kilby (50:38.097)

Yep.

Shane Kilby (51:04.266)

And in meantime, share this with a friend or coworker that you think it could be beneficial and valuable to, and stay tuned. We'll bring you some great, great speakers on our podcast here in the next coming weeks. All right, take care guys. See ya. Bye bye.

Dee Dee Kilby (51:07.229)

you

Duane Murphy (51:14.818)

Ka -boom.

Duane Murphy (51:21.262)

Good job, Kilbs.

Shane Kilby (51:23.244)

I thought it turned out pretty good.

Duane Murphy (51:24.78)

Yeah, yeah, I think any of that will roll. So the...

Shane Kilby (51:32.652)

Hmm

Duane Murphy (51:37.592)

The