R.E.A.L. Real Estate Agent Life Podcast

From Accidental Agent To Lean Team Leader

• Shane Kilby and Duane Murphy • Season 2 • Episode 52

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Some people enter real estate with a five-year plan. 

Kathleen Borella entered because her brother was fed up with agents who would not answer the phone, and that one standard kicked off a career built on trust, speed, and doing what you say you’ll do.

We talk with Kathleen in Savannah Georgia about the early years of production, how she reverse engineers goals into daily behaviors, and why she built a lean real estate team only when her capacity started to fail clients. 

She breaks down what leverage really looks like, why admin support can matter more than adding another agent, and how staying profitable can beat chasing flashy growth. 

We also get real about leadership: the cost of keeping the wrong people too long, setting standards, confronting issues with love, and protecting your business from chaos.

Then the conversation goes deeper. 

Kathleen shares how faith, spirituality, and nervous system awareness shape her approach to authenticity and personal branding, including the decision to speak more openly about the hard parts of her story. 

We unpack the power of getting in the right rooms, learning from mentors, and returning to simple routines when business feels off track. 

If you’re an agent trying to build a sustainable real estate business, lead a team with clarity, and define success on your terms, this one will stick with you.

If you got value here, subscribe so you don’t miss the next conversation, share this with a friend who needs Kathleen’s message, and leave us a five-star review to help more agents find the show.

🎙 Thank You for Tuning in to the R.E.A.L. Real Estate Agent Life Podcast!


We appreciate you joining us for another powerful episode where we dive deep into the world of real estate, mindset, and business growth. If you found value in this conversation, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with your network!


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Cold Open And Show Promise

SPEAKER_02

Welcome to the REAL podcast, our host, and 2014. From overcoming hurdles to celebrating success, join us as we explore the journeys of industry veterans and rookies alike. Get ready for bi-weekly episodes back with advice, feedback, and mentorship from the best in the business.

SPEAKER_03

Don't go by.

SPEAKER_06

Okay.

Meet Kathleen Borella In Savannah

SPEAKER_03

Welcome to another episode of Real Estate Agent Life. My name is Dwayne. That's my cohort right there that's having a great time today, Mr. Shane Killy. Shane, say hi. Hello, everybody. What's up? Hello, everybody. And uh just like you've been getting used to, we have another amazing rock star. We just rolled about 30 minutes of non-recorded content that was absolutely amazing. I am sorry to everybody out there that's listening to this right now. You missed it. We're gonna try to reignite that fire here in just a second with our guests, but you are going to love this podcast. I already know it. So, Shane, without further ado, who's today we have Kathleen Borella.

SPEAKER_04

Is that how I pronounce that? Awesome, awesome. I practiced that a few times. One thing uh about it is like like you guys aren't gonna miss anything. This entire episode is going to be packed pure fire and gold, pure fire and gold. But Kathleen has uh organization, Borella Real Estate Group, which is a part of BXP, is that correct?

SPEAKER_00

Correct.

SPEAKER_04

We have lots of uh friends and and family members, brothers and sisters that are a part of BXP network. She is, you are located in Savannah, Georgia, correct?

SPEAKER_01

Yep. So I'm I'm literally right outside of Savannah in Richmond Hill, but it's easiest to say Savannah.

SPEAKER_04

I gotcha. Over 6,600 followers currently. This is just on her Facebook page. I didn't look up how many on Instagram, probably that, and then some. She is a sister to us in a group in a circle that we follow closely around those wild and crazy Czech black boys and that Maverick group and everything that they do that's so uh wonderful and touches so many real estate professionals' lives, and then some. So we're blessed to have you today, Kathleen. So let me we have got my goodness, I've got I wish we could have captured everything, but we're gonna bring it back. Before we ramp back up to where we were, which was a great spot. I think are we all three high D's?

SPEAKER_01

99E 99i, baby.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, there is no doubt what's I am the exact same 9999.

SPEAKER_07

Are you really?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and then 3535 on the other two. Well, the other two are relevant. We have good people for that.

SPEAKER_01

I was gonna say I don't even. I think I'm probably like 12 and 7 or something crazy. Yeah.

Accidental Start In Real Estate

SPEAKER_04

My creatures. Those are you are both of you are my creatures. That is that S and C is like, I don't want any part of that. It's a complete train wreck. It's job security, job security. Um, so let me ask you this. So let's back up, you know, and I hate to back up because we had so much for my matter, but we're gonna get back there. Your history in real estate, like, take us back to when you got started in real estate. What got you started? What made you want to get into real estate?

SPEAKER_01

I didn't want to get into real estate. I had no idea never crossed my mind. I was working at an auto auction and I was the negotiator between the bank and the car dealer. And it was so much fun and I loved it. And then I get a call from my older brother. I have one older brother, and uh he pretty much said, Hey, this is in 02. And he said, Hey, I want to start getting in this flipping houses thing. Went right over my head. I had no idea what he's talking about. And he said, But I can't get an F and agent to answer the F and phone. So if you answer your F and phone, you're gonna be successful. And I don't trust any of them, anyways. So I need you to get your real estate license. And he literally said that. And I said, Okay, didn't know about the money, didn't know about the job. It was just kind of like, all right, like, and he said, I'll be your first client. So you'll ride out the gate, have business. He's a firefighter, and he was my first client. And I sold him, I don't, I mean, I just I had mentioned earlier I went through a really good training program, but I'm 150 miles an hour and I figure stuff out as I go. I'm the agent that has 50, 60, 70,000 or used to anyways, mission checks waiting, and they would have to call me in, ride me into an office, close the door, and not let me leave until I got them what they needed, right? And and rules for I mean, I follow the law, but rules rarely apply to me, right? You tell me no, and I'm just gonna kind of figure out how to sweet talk, smile, I don't know what, my way out of it. So got that, that one was was a wild one. It was a foreclosure, it was a mess, got it done. And then my world opened up real wide because my brother said, Hey, my sister, my baby sister, is an awesome real estate agent. She did this deal for me. I got it for X amount, we flipped it for this amount. And then I had a line out the door of all of his buddies that said, Yep, sign me up. What do you want to do? We trust you. And then that's that was the biggest thing. And that's what my name was was writing on was people trust me. I do what I say I'm gonna do. I'm gonna fight for you. And this is, I mean, I tell my team stories sometimes in my 20s. I that version of me, I absolutely adore her because she didn't care. She cussed lenders out, she threatened whoever. You know, I got kicked off of a live telling us live on TikTok telling a story that was the honest truth, and it immediately shut down and it said that I was banned from it for criminal and violent behavior because I said that I threatened a lender. I'm not I'm not kidding. Is it really being that ugly? I just pretty much said, like, you're doing you're doing something wrong. I see what you're doing, I don't like it. Fix it. This is not gonna happen, right? But that girl, man, you talk about uh a dregulated nervous system, kicking down doors, you know, doing whatever she needed to do. Again, honest, ethical, but man, oh man, she was she was pretty unruly. So that's the long story on how I so gracefully entered the real estate world.

SPEAKER_04

That's how gracefully you could write a book someday, how I gracefully kick the door down.

SPEAKER_00

Hey, that's a good one. There you go.

From Solo Agent To Team Leverage

SPEAKER_03

I was gonna say, write that down. Yes. So when you got into the real estate and and you made your soft little entrance uh in, how long before you all of a sudden had your eyes opened up to a team? Because you went from a solo agent and then you just started a team on day one and away you went.

SPEAKER_01

No, I um started making money and I started making money really quickly. I think my first year, again, 20 years old, I made, I think just under six figures. And it wasn't what's wild about me, and I I love this about me, is that I'll have my eye on a prize, and it's never really the money, it's the opportunity. It's always having the opportunity in front of me that I never want to say no to because I don't have the money or something. Like, for example, I remember they had a bullpen, so the office was square and there was private offices on the edges of the office, on the frame of the office building. And then they had the bullpen, which was all the cubicles. And, you know, being so young, I just thought that places were assigned. And then I got wind that you had to have a certain amount of production in order to get a private office. And the way that I also self-taught was I went, introduced myself to the top producers and said, Hey, um, can't do you mind if when you're talking on the phone, I won't bother you, but can I stand outside your door like a stalker and just listen? Can I, do you mind if I do that? And they said, Yeah, sure, I don't care. So I'm listening to these top producers talk and I didn't realize what scripting was, and I didn't know framing conversations and I didn't know objections and rebuttals, and I didn't know that, but I knew that there was pattern recognition, right? I knew that I was hearing consistency in the conversations and similar words. So I picked up on that really quickly. Then I got wind that there was going to be a new building and they were figuring out who was gonna be in the private office. That's all they needed to say. And I was a top producer in a heart, heartbeat because I wanted to be in a private office because then I had the understanding those are the people that know how to talk and sell real estate. And that then was my goal. So I always do this thing with goals or numbers or, you know, wanting an investment property or wanting to pay for my kids' college or wanting to, you know, the thing. And then it's okay, what's the behaviors, what's the activities that I need to do to get there? So it's kind of now I understand that I was reverse engineering, but it's just eye on the prize and know you do the right things. Like John says, do the next right thing and do the next right thing right over and over and over, and you get whatever that goal is. Money then doesn't become the objective. So I had no plans of having a team. That did not enter my thought process at all. And then I relocated to Savannah in 2013, worked for a builder, loved it. Then I got the opportunity at KW. And it just, I had the realization that I'm starting to fail clients because I can't get to them fast enough. And the only way I'm gonna get leverage is by giving somebody else an opportunity. My son's friend's mom found out that maybe I was gonna start a team. And I was working with the client who she was absolutely amazing, but she's still with me to this day. She's been with me from the beginning, and she would drive me nuts because I couldn't do anything fast enough. Like I couldn't get her an answer fast enough. By the time I asked her a question, she would be getting the answer. Then I started coaching and realizing disc personalities kind of placed her. She's now my director of ops. She's been with me since day one, gave the opportunity to the new brand new agent. And we, the three of us, sold 186 houses, 1.2 GCI in the second year we were together. Buyer's agent went on to start her own team. I still have that director of ops. So it was more of necessity, and it wasn't me wanting to do it, it was me wanting to help more people. Because I always feel like, and I I still have this feeling it's simmered down a bit, but it's I want to work with them because I'm gonna do right by them. And if I don't work with them, they might get steered in the wrong direction or not get what I can give. And you know, I've grown a lot out of that, but that's how the team became uh a team.

Redefining Success Beyond The Scoreboard

SPEAKER_04

That's for the right reason too. You know, you you see it today more than ever, you know, I've got some leads, uh yeah, I'm gonna start a team. It's like you know, who's the rainmaker, right? Who is out of hours, out of resources, and wants to help serve more people at a bigger capacity? You know, we went through that same, you know, you know, develop agents quickly. We we we teach pre-licensed, post-licensed brokers, we teach all of the licensing in the state of Alabama, and we noticed the agents would quickly rise too too quick. I mean, we would teach them and develop them how to prospect, how to nurture, how to build their database and what have you. And then all of a sudden it's like bam, in 18 months they want to be team leaders. And I'm s I screwed up. I screwed up. I I let uh some of them become team leaders when they they w hadn't even gone through enough evolutions and pain and suffering as a team as an agent, as a top producing agent. Great people, great people. I put them in a position. Um, you know, and I didn't I didn't really give them a winning opportunity to per se because I guess I had more faith in their capabilities, and which I shouldn't have because they hadn't been to that crossroad yet. I don't do that anymore. Now it's like, all right, where is your need? What to serve others, right? Do you are you at a place of capacity? If you bring and that's what I try to I try to help our agents build teams. You know, I I love it because it it make if they're great team leaders, it's easier for me to to teach and coach and develop team leaders than it is all the agents on their teams. But what I've learned the hard way is like, okay, you need to get through a certain threshold. You need to you need to be at you know twenty-four, thirty-six transactions a year um before you start thinking like that. And you don't necessarily I mean everybody may disagree, I I don't think it's necessarily a buyer's agent or another listing agent they need at that point. It's more of more of administrative assistance to me, anyway. So let me ask you this though, go a different direction. So you have had tremendous success. There is no denying that. What would you what what what would you say has been the greatest success for you thus far in business? You've shared some great stories with us so far. But what would you pinpoint to be the best biggest success for you so far?

SPEAKER_01

Let's see. So I can go the route and answer and say that with our small team, we've never bought a lead to this day. I've I've started processing that I'm going to because now I'm getting more comfortable. And this is where I'm going with this, is I'm getting more comfortable operating my business like a business, really processing the money behind it. We've always been very profitable. Well, imagine me, buyer's agent, showing partner, and transaction coordinator, coordinator admin. That's it. 186 homes, 1.2 million. We've kept things very lean, but I'll be the first to admit, do I actually treat my business like a business? We do profit first. You know, we have all of the accounts. I understand the flow. I know all of the levers, but actually processing it like a business. And the reason that that's really come to surface is being in Casey Quinn's world and Brandon Briningham's world and really processing like, all right, we're gonna, we're gonna play game. I I started investing with Brandon last year. And so it's like, okay, this is a whole new game with different rules. And I want to get in on the no-paying taxes, and I want to get in on my passive income out outshining my active income, right? So I could say being number one small team in the state of Georgia, but I would say the evolution of me and trusting myself as a business owner to make decisions for myself and not really doing the popular thing and not getting bought into this is the way to do it, follow this, and really just and and it's taken a lot, and I still know that there's a lot of growth there. But I would say my number one accomplishment is more behind the scenes internal and really doing business the way that I want to do it, and not getting lost in bigger is better and doing more and chasing the the numbers and the titles. So I would say for me, that's a really personal answer.

Hard Lessons On People And Standards

SPEAKER_04

I like it. You've nailed it. You nailed it. Absolutely. Point mate. It yeah, you know, success is defined differently by all of us, all of us. And I I can see that you have a crystal clear vision of what that looks like. And I already know you're in the right rooms and the right circles, you know, to stay on that path. Let me ask you this. We've had some wins, and we know with those wins, sometimes we have losses. Looking back, what do you what would you think would be your biggest hiccup, your biggest pothole or failure in business has been so far?

SPEAKER_01

Say two things. One is knowing that certain people weren't supposed to be on my team and not confronting that fast enough to say, hey, I mean, I'm very confrontational. I don't think confrontation is a negative. I think confrontation got a bad rap somewhere, right? Like it made it makes people feel uncomfortable. But if I care for you and I'm going to you and saying, hey, listen, I'm seeing this, but I'm saying this with love and I love you, but this isn't like serving you or me or our relationship or my business anymore, or whatever that looks like. I knew there was things wrong. There were standards that weren't being met. I was starting to get resentful. And instead of just saying it for what it was, I um didn't want to lose certain people on the team. So I let things slide. I would say that's a big one. I have a blessing and a curse where I see potential. If the only way that you get access to me is if I see potential in you. Like if I see greatness in you, you could be in my world. If I don't see greatness in you and I don't like the way you move, I I literally you're like invisible to me. Like I cut people off so fast. It's it's it's insane where I'm like, control all delete. And I tell my team that control alt delete, like it never happened. You know what I mean? Like that's just kind of the way that I function. And again, it's evolution, it's figuring out that maybe that's not the right way to always do things, and maybe I have some growing to do in that. But I would say that that's you know, when somebody exits, control alt delete. Like it never happened. That's one. And then the holding on too long, the seeing the potential that I mean I drag people with me. I'm like, you can do it, like just instead of meeting them where they're at, like meeting them. Do you know that it like do you know how many times I've heard meet them where they're at, like in my personal and my business life? And I'm like, meet them where they're at. Like, I'm not going down there. They gotta come up here. I didn't realize, like, meet them where they're at and be at peace that that you you they get a certain amount of access from you, and that's it. You don't need to pour into them. I didn't I didn't understand really what that meant. So those are the big ones.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, we've talked many times on a wide number of podcasts on you can't want it more than they do. And we're all three of us on this podcast guilty of that from time to time and and very guilty of it in the past of man, you just want to see them all succeed. You want to see them grow to their biggest potential, you want to see them achieve their dreams even if they weren't dreaming it. And it just it you know, I always got tore up when it when it didn't happen. And then I would take it personal because it's like dang it, like right, was it me or was it them? You know, and and you know, and and ultimately I think you just have to you have to realize that okay, like you can't you can't make someone do the work. You can't make them want it. They either do or they don't. And if they're if they're willing to hit a yoke and and pull their share, then great, let's go. And and I'll take you as far as you want to go. But you have to they have to want it just as bad or worse than I do for them.

SPEAKER_04

Well, for us though, we can't we we can't turn that that drive on and off. So I think that's where we get caught up in oftentimes wanting it more than they do. Um, you know, and it I mean I speaking for myself here, I find it difficult at times to let them go because I'm like, man, I've got I'm I'm in a lot of rooms with a lot of influential people that pour a lot into me that I didn't pay for. You know, so am I supposed to be giving this back to this individual that doesn't really fit my space that I want to control all delete? And and I can find myself being annoyed by burning hours of the day, right? Helping them to find that drive. So it's it's not easy. Like, I mean, it's I I hear guys all the time like, you know, whack them, you know, get rid of them, and I'm like, yeah, it's all sounds good at a conference. You go home, you're like, oh, yeah, I can't. I mean, it's not he it's not easy to do. It's not easy to do because like, am I supposed to be the one that's helping us? You know, what has this person been through that they haven't that they haven't been vulnerable about yet? Is am I supposed to get them to unlock that vulnerability so then we can take them places? Because we I know the three of us know this. The your greatest level of success will never happen until you become vulnerable in those close spaces where you feel safe and where others in that space have been where you want to go. So that is always a struggle for me. I'm a I am a high D, high I, but I'm a hard fail when it comes to just just giving people walking papers. Now, my business partner, she's vicious. She's like, I don't like. The way you looked at me. You're by you're out of here. I'm like, yeah, I'm with her. What she said.

SPEAKER_03

Let me know. You'd think bad cop, good cop would be the opposite way in their business relationship, but Courtney is the bad cop. She is the bad cop. Rides that row and not afraid. Like, I'll be the bad cop.

SPEAKER_01

I want to meet her. Listen, because and I'm not saying I don't have that, but it's almost like once you get to a certain like trust level with me, then it's almost like you're in. And I have a really, really hard time. And I've worked on this the last couple of years of is seeing people for who they show me they are. Because I wear the lens of seeing the best in everyone that's in my world. Because if you're not in my world, like I said, you just don't exist. But if you're in my world, I see the greatness in you. And like that discernment, I've been sharpening. And really it's like, okay, if I know that alignment is huge to me, mind, body, soul, and what they're saying and what they're doing are a little bit off, or even like energetically, I've been getting really good energetically where I feel a shift. Family, friends, team, whoever it is, I just feel something. And I've started recognizing and trusting myself even through that to say, I don't need to understand what it is. I just know that I don't like the way that I feel, therefore, control alt delete or U-turn or whatever the hell I need to do to get myself out of that, that proximity. Cause there's there's uh a lot that unfolds when you start doing the inner work where it's like, I got more questions now then. Then it starts to make sense a little bit more and you can simplify stuff. One of the kind of measures that I've started using is chaos. I can't deal with chaos. If you bring any sort of chaotic behavior or chaos in general in my world, I'm like, all right, we're gonna have a conversation and we're going to shift this into clarity, or you get the boot because I can't deal with the chaos. I could deal with emotions, I could deal with problems, I could deal with all of it. The the chaos, I just, it's not, it's not, I don't want it. I don't want anything to do with it.

Who Saw Her Potential First

SPEAKER_03

You were you had mentioned identifying people and reading people and the potential in people. Let's flip that just a bit. Who saw the potential in you and who would you say has been the greatest influence in your life to get you to the person that you are and who you are?

SPEAKER_01

That, you know, that I would I would absolutely love to see myself in other people's eyes, right? Because I know how beautiful people are to me. It's like rose-colored lenses all the time. Like I'll look at you and I'll hear you, and I'm like, and then you could do this and you could do that. And it's, I think it's in my blood. So my uncle, he's since passed, but I had a visit with him and I was telling him something along the lines of, I want to live a really big life. I'm like, I want to live a really big life, and I want to see how far I can go, and I want to make an impact. And I'm telling him all of these things, and he's listening to me intently, or he was in La La Land and completely not paying attention to me. I didn't know, but I was having fun listening to my damn self. So I'm telling him all this stuff, and he's sitting in his recliner, and I stopped, and it's this weird pause where I was about to say, like, did you just hear me? Do you know what I mean? And so I'm like, and he throws his arms up and he said, Huge, huge, you're gonna live a huge life. And I'm like, he sees me the way I see people. Where big wasn't big enough for him, it was huge, right? So I am very blessed to have so many people in my life that also see that potential in me. My mom, first off, I don't care what ruckus, I don't care what wrong any of her children have done, and we've done some things. My gosh, how embarrassing. Remember how I said wow, it was when I was a young agent threatening people and stuff? That's wild.

SPEAKER_03

Statue of limitations. Yes.

SPEAKER_01

She thinks that we are God's gift. We we could do no wrong. We could do no wrong. So it starts with her, to my siblings, to you know, my children, my son specifically. My daughter's another story, and I've started opening up on that. We're so much alike that we're at odds right now. She's t she's gonna be 27, he's gonna be 24. So I'll stick with the the positive side of this story, which is my son. And it's wild to hear what he says about me through his friends, right? Like his friends will say different things like, you know, Jacob told me you said this, and it made me think twice about this situation, or they'll call me. These young men, you know, starting families, getting married. Hey, I know that you give Jacob really good advice. Can you can I run something by you? They're the his friends' wives call me. Hey, I've been in this situation. You know, so it's like those things are the confirmation that I'm on the right path. But, you know, to be really direct, if there was one person, I think I would have to say my brother is most vocal about it. My brother is most protective of me, gives me the hardest critiquing in life. He's not nice sometimes. Sometimes he'll hit me right in the throat. Like, I mean, just gut punch, where he'll I'll be telling him about something and he's like, hold on, let's go back. What did you say? You know, and he'll he'll tell me whatever he needs to tell me, but he's constantly reiterating, like, keep and we just had a conversation today, and he said, keep learning, keep getting in those rooms, keep passing it along because you're helping me, you're changing me, you're healing me. Just keep on doing it. So, and then you guys know the community that I'm in. It's like, how far can you go when you have such support? Really freaking far is the answer.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it's truly the the answer to that's as far as you want to go. Yeah. I mean, there it's it's like how far can you, how far can you see, how big can you dream, and and how great is your vision?

SPEAKER_01

And what's wild, what what excites me is like when you look around the world, when you're in big cities or whatever it is, and you're looking and you're just like, people created all of this. Like human beings visualized this, and then we created this world, and we have that power to do that within our own life, right? And and connect with people. And so, yeah, you're right. It's it's it's all the interior, but I'm just very I've I'm well insulated with people that support me and encourage my delusions. Sometimes I feel delusional.

Big Goals Faith And Personal Truth

SPEAKER_03

So let's take that, let's let's tip off that just a bit then. Uh, because you actually led right into another question from that with the group, who you surround yourself with, the rooms you get into, the way your eyes have been opened in lots of different ways. And if you've hung around with kinder reese or Elby at all, they always use a term called B Hag. Have you heard you heard them run with that term yet? B Hague. Big, hairy, audacious goal.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, okay. I've heard I've heard the phrase, but I didn't understand the acronym. But yes.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, there's probably a few different acronyms for it, but it's it's right, the B Hag. Well, it's because it's they say in it in that Wisconsin twang. And understand half of what he says. What would what are you redefining as your new B Hag? Like, what is your next big hairy audacious goal that is coming down the coming down the road? If you can share, because we don't want you to, you know, ruin any great surprises, but what what is your B Hague that you're like all of a sudden like this is where I'm going?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So somebody very inspiring to me, which I've known her for several years, is Spring, now Charles Worth. And what I'm really loving about her, and and let me kind of explain the world that I was raised in. So mom, super strict Catholic, dad, Native American, so Catholicism and spirituality, right? Small Spanish, light complexed women and Native Americans, you know, taller, bigger, thicker. Me and my siblings are like the perfect mixture of it. I'm tall. It's like I don't, I don't really belong in either of those two families, right? It's like the never-ending joke on which one of my siblings is adopted, right? Or or something. It's always these funny little kind of digs at each other. Um and so I've always felt out of place in in certain situations with the way that I think, with my faith, what I believe. It's very structured, but it's mine, right? And I have a deep connection with God. Um, those closest to me, they know exactly where I stand and how I feel in, you know, manifesting in prayer and really processing the internal world to make certain that you see it on the exterior and breath work. And um, we used to do sweat lodges and just that kind of faith base that isn't so traditional, I guess is the right word. And so now seeing spring really process it on a public platform and just saying, hey, this is what I am, these are my beliefs. I know because you hear about the woo-woo stuff. I'm all about the woo-woo stuff. I've always been about the woo-woo stuff. Like, woo-woo isn't woo-woo. Woo-woo is just my my faith, right? Like it's just what what I am. So I think the big goal is being so expressive, so loud, so vocal, so successful. If we're doing a measure of wealth, just dumb money, right?

SPEAKER_04

There's a term for that. We won't, we won't, we won't drop it here, but there's a term for that.

SPEAKER_01

Giving, yeah, giving the permission to say uh a teen mom, a high school dropout, you know, my kid's father was straight up thug, um, like for real. Lord knows. Anyways, I got my two kids that were good, went through a lot there. And then first husband, control alt delete that from my story. And then second husband, get this, get this. Disciplined, military, high-ranking officer. Then it's like, okay, I signed up for this, right? Like this is, this is this is the man. Yeah. And then the retirement happened, and then the transition happened, and then all of the problems that we hear that happen afterwards, I ex I experienced it all until the point that it was physically abusive. And once that happened, that was my line. I dealt with all kinds of stuff. And then when that happened, it was like, no, like no one's ever put their hands on me. Never in my life. I was never spanked, nothing. Like you pull a hair on my head, we got some major problems. You know what I mean? Like, we're not doing that. So when it happened, it was so shocking and it turned my world completely, completely upside down. The identity, like when we talk about identity and you die to that identity, like working so hard to retire someone that sacrificed 20 years in the military, and I was this military spouse, and I built this business around the military. And it was this storyline, and I stuck with it because at some point I was absolutely convinced that I was gonna look back and have the answers for every other woman that's in this exact predicament to then be able to heal, right? Like, oh, I went through this all. And guess what, ladies? This is what you do, this is what helps them, this is how you you get through it. Then that didn't happen. And I had to opt out of it, right? I had to do another control alt delete, like legitimately, like never ever, ever talk to you again. Like I'm done here. And so when you go through all of that, the depth that I have, the story that I have, the knowledge that I could share and not being afraid to just say it. Like I've had to work really hard to get super safe within myself and my body, knowing that the way that I express myself and talk, and it's like um, like you can't, I constantly feel like, okay, if I was to share I'm a high school dropout, well, then they think that I'm undereducated. But they don't know I've paid hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars to get into rooms with people that are actually giving you the knowledge, right? Like working with healers and working with all of these people. Or I never told anyone I was a teen mom or would never share my age until guess what? My daughter was 20 years old. Because then I knew that it wasn't like this scarlet letter on me. And then I then passed this down generationally because my mom was a teen mom. My sisters are teen moms, I'm a teen mom. I was like, I'm not even saying it because I don't want that to then manifest within my daughter. So it's like the big thing is in all that I've been through, there's a purpose for it. And I'm finally starting to realize it's sharing all of these things, not to normalize it, but to allow people to say, well, look at what she's done, look at who she is, even look at what I look like. You know what I mean? As far as the package that I'm within, I'm gonna hit home with a lot of women that I could tell you right now, it's horrifying that every single person, I kid you not, every single woman that I've shared my story with, it's literally the Me Too movement from abuse to whatever. It is frightening and very powerful for us to have this shift. And I don't have to push my masculine energy at the forefront anymore. I don't need to kick down doors. I don't need to fight. I don't need to, you know, do all of those things. I have healed to a point where I understand that me having my feminine energy doesn't discount the versions I was prior to. I can embody all of it and express all of that. So the big goal is to live my life so loudly that I impact as many people as I possibly can to do the exact same because that's when we changed the world.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, when you when you say when you had referenced spring on that and with spring break and and some of her announcements and some of what she shared, and I wasn't uh privy to being in that audience this year, but caught a decent amount of it and everything that she shared and opened up with that ultimately opens doors or gives permission for other other women such as yourself to go ahead and and take that stage and speak loudly and and not have to worry about who hears it and if they like what they're hearing or not. And uh she's been she's becoming a formidable force in that, which is a which is a really good thing. I mean, it's it's women in in not only women in business, but women in life. And she's she's taken this stage and said, Hey, I you know, everybody sees the perfect, right? Especially in the social media world. We we all we all see perfect and we all everything's great. And and you had mentioned you had gone through some things, and you had gone through some stuff a few years ago, and and all that, and there's the the public on stage persona that we all have, that the camera sees, that Facebook sees, that Instagram sees, and TikTok, unless you get banned.

SPEAKER_07

Another story from the other day.

SPEAKER_01

It shut down and it gave me this warning, and I'm like, like, that's nothing. Then I don't belong here because that is not that's not even scratching the surface. You know what I mean? Like not even scratching the surface.

SPEAKER_03

I was like, Well, I said it it allows, it allows now for that for that message, which is going to not only help yourself, but uh even more so it's gonna help, it's gonna help others.

SPEAKER_01

And it's gonna heal people, right? Like it's gonna heal people, people what what I've really started to process, and I know this to be true, is regardless of anybody in my past, including the men that um I've been with that haven't necessarily done me right, I do believe that they did their best with what they knew. I I don't believe that anybody wanted to hurt me. I don't believe that they want to be that person. I believe that there's a lot of healing that needs to be done. I just also know that I don't need to be around for it or help it or assist it or promote it or encourage it or be anybody, you know, being every anybody's facilitator for their own work they have to do. And, you know, I've I've started to really look through a lens of compassion more than anything else to process like, okay, if I say that I could be wild and unruly and soft and feminine at the same time, then they I have to allow for there to be the opportunity that they did have the capacity to love me the best that they could and still have a lot of issues and and demons that they need to figure out. We we can all play a part in each other's lives without me. And I've never been a victim. And through that, I was so private about it. I didn't say a word. Nobody knew anything, nobody closest to me, not my mom, not my brother, not my sisters, not my assistant, not anyone, nobody. And then when when it happened, it was like, okay, I'm getting a divorce. But mind you, the the the the truth was that on social media and in the world, we're couple, what what is it? It's the power couple and couple goals, you know, under every picture we posted. I can't wait to have that relationship, couple goals and this, that, the other. And when I was in it, it was my truth, right? But I was also uh not seeing things for what they were. Like I didn't realize what I was going through. So on the outside of it, it's like, hey, there's two things can be true at once. I could be in this this situation where it served me up until a certain point. And at the same time, behind the scenes, really challenged with things and choosing to be very private because I wanted to work through it. I wanted to see it to the end where we were like resurrected and things were healed. It didn't happen for us. And I had to opt out, which I'm very proud of myself for because I could listen, I could have been married to any one of those men for the rest of my life. For the rest of my life. And just, you know, so when I see couples now and they're like, oh, we're celebrating our 30th, 45th, I'm like, that's great and all, but I would love to also hear that it's a healthy relationship. It's a it's a healthy, safe relationship. You know what I mean? So I mean, there's a lot to it, but I love what spring is doing. I love what women are doing where they just say, hey, this is what it is. You know, you if you go to her event and I joined her, be collective, because the healing that they're doing from within is is what it's about. Because not only is it expressive on the exterior, and that could be, you know, with money and abundance as far as money energetically is concerned, or you just take a backseat to the business and you're doing something else that you're just as happy doing. You don't get caught up in all of the noise to do it because you've always done it, or do it because you want to be part of the cool kids club. You know what I mean? Like the cool kids club no longer is the cool kids club. Like it's it's the new like authenticity and we're magnetizing. I was telling my son, when you're contracted and you're depressed or you're you're feeling small, your energy field is so tight to you. But when you're expressive and authentic in your true self, your energy field can can span to 27 feet. Well, if I have this expressive energy field, I'm gonna connect with people that are all far away from me, that are also pulled into me. You know, everybody else is just gonna bounce off, them and their depressed little self. Stay away. I've had my fair share. I don't play that game more, you know?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. It's uh you know, some people, some people will uh bad circumstances. They just dwell on it. It's just it's the first thing out of their mouth, it's the last thing out of their mouth. It's the it's they eat it and sleep it and breathe it, and every day is a bad day for them. Every day is a bad day for them. Um yeah, you feel that you feel that energy in those spaces. Uh you definitely do. Um You know, some some of the events that um that John has has put on have been really, really Really close, like Alex uh event there. Um, you know, when he started doing the um KFR events, those are really cool, really intensive, you know, initially really uh intimidating. Um, just because it's like, all right, this ain't four hundred people, this is forty. Um, you know, and near Dwayne and I glutton for punishment, we joke about all the time. We have no idea why we find ourselves on the front, on the very front seat right there by John can just pick and brandly.

Getting In The Rooms That Matter

SPEAKER_01

This is so funny because remember how I said I just make a decision and then I go? I was introduced to John, I'm sure, on social media, right? And he put that he was having an event at his house. This is when I first joined EXP. He was having an event at his house with Kyle Whistle. And whatever it was that they were doing, I think it was YouTube videos. I know it was YouTube videos. And I was like, that that seems like a good pillar of business, right? I can do that. I'm gonna go. So I go, and you're right, it's like 15, 20 people, whatever it was. Soup, I mean, still friends with essentially everybody that was there. And I remember talking to someone years later, and she said, I remember, you know, when we first walked in, she said, I left. And I said, What do you mean you left? And she said, I walked in and I walked right back out. I'm like, why would you do that? She goes, I was so scared. She called, yeah, she called Veronica. Veronica's the one that told her she needed to go to that event. She called Veronica Figuera. And Veronica was like, No, no, no, no, no. Like, get your little booty back in there. You can do this. You know what I mean? And I say that to say I've always gotten myself in those rooms and have never felt intimidated. I just see people as people, I know their words are like medicine to me, and I need it. Like I, it's it's it's almost like your church sometimes, right? They're pre they're preaching to you, and you're just like, yep, I needed to hear that. Yep, that's the truth. Yep, I'm not living in authenticity. Nope, I'm not living up to my standards. Yes, I could be doing more. I talked to John, you know how he'll occasionally do the um in the morning, six o'clock in the morning. He'll say, Whoever next 10 people that call me.

SPEAKER_03

Next 10 people that text me.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So I got in on one the other day and I was like, hey, well, I called him and it went straight to voicemail. So then I text him and then he didn't respond. So then I called him. Something's wrong with your phone. I text him again. I was like, hey, like, I don't know how you're keeping dibs on the 10, but I know I was within like 30 seconds. So I'm raising my hand here and I have my ringer on and I'm staring at my phone, like, call me, right? So he calls, he's like, hey, blah, blah, blah. And we we had talked at an event prior to. So he was like, we got clarity on this, this, and this. And I'm like, yes. And he and he remembers the guy's memory is insane. And he was like, You said this, this, this. I'm like, yep, yep, yep, yep. And he said, Let me ask you something. Did you, I mean, there was more to the conversation, but the the point that I want to get to is he said, let me ask you something. Did you recently go through a divorce? And I said, Define recently, like in 24, you know what I mean? Like, it wasn't like last month or something. And I'm thinking, like, why is he asking me this? I was actually, I felt exposed. I had to consult with my chat GPT counselor to figure out what I felt. And I felt exposed in that moment. Because I'm like, well, damn, I did so good not saying a damn word about it. Like, how would you know? Like, I didn't, you know, do anything to make you know. It's just control all delete and we keep moving along. So I was like, yes, the answer is yes. And I didn't say why or anything. I was just kind of taken back. And he said, All right, well, you know, I've been through it too. And I, you know, will often say that a divorce is more painful than sometimes even a death because you die to yourself, you die to the vision, you die to the to the everything you poured yourself into. It's it's very tragic, it's very painful, it's awful. And I'm thinking, like, yeah, like I almost in tears, right? Like, I don't, I I was, I was literally feeling like I don't even know if I'm gonna be able to speak because I could feel it right here. And it was like, okay, I don't want to talk to you anymore. You know what I mean? Like, what is this? What is happening? And then he says, I should have been like, I can't hear you, and just hung up or whatever. But I stuck, I stuck in it. I was uncomfortable. And he said, So, and it took me to the next morning to process what he was saying. So I can't tell you verbatim what he said in that moment, but the next morning it hit me. And it was him saying that if you go through these painful, painful things, these unimaginably painful things, these betrayals, these, you know, just awful things, whatever that looks like, you can follow a schedule. You can do the small things that you need to do in your business. He was like, I'm giving you the schedule. It's 8:30 to 9:30, 9:30 to 10:30, 10:30 to 11. Recruit, call, inspect, recruit, call, inspect consistently over and over and over. Kathleen, do it for a year. Your life will be changed. He's like, Okay, bye. You know, and it's like and it it's he's right. And it's true, and we know it. It's no different than a diet. It's no different than like my mom, bless her heart. But I'm like, how much water she'll have something going on? And I'm like, have you drank water today? Let's start there, woman. You know what I mean? Like, let's drink some water today. But yeah, no, I mean, it it's it's it's always so simple. Like John says, it's the small hinges that swing the big doors, right?

SPEAKER_04

It's breaking nobody will do it consistently. And it's not painful. It's not. You know what I think it is? I think it's it is it's almost too easy. It's too easy. It is too simple, and our minds will not allow it to be that easy. We want it to be as complicated as hell and as nearly impossible as hell, so that we have a reason to blame, I guess, our exhaustion, stress, whatever, you know, mission accomplished, mission fail, whatever, you know, control alt delete moment, but it really is that simple.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Every time our business gets out of alignment, we go back to that simplicity, and I'll be damned if it doesn't jump right back on the tracks.

SPEAKER_01

It it works. Yeah, it works. It's almost like it's boring, it's so boring, right? The basics are boring, and I and I mean I preach it to my team all the time. Like, this stuff is boring. Like, this is the stuff that's boring, but this is this the boring stuff is what allows us to have that big, bold, beautiful life, or the the hairy, audacious goal, right? What'd you call it? What was the the acronym? Was Hagar? What is it?

SPEAKER_03

B Hague. B Hague. B Hague.

SPEAKER_06

I can't. I can't.

SPEAKER_03

So I was trying to, I was trying to give it a little bit of southern bell. B Hag. B-H-A-G. B Hag. Big, hairy, audacious goal.

SPEAKER_01

See, and I need I I'll be good without the hairy. You know what I mean? I was gonna say big, bald, audacious goal. We're gonna come up with something big.

SPEAKER_03

Are you gonna say like big audacious goal?

SPEAKER_07

No, we don't need to go. Huge, huge goal.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

That's big, weeds, audacious goal.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, yep.

Stay Present And Measure The Gap

SPEAKER_04

So let me ask you this question. Let's just say it is completely evident like you've seen some stuff, you survived some stuff, and and the the most beautiful part about it is you have thrived through it all. Looking back, you've been in the business since 2002. Looking back 20, 25 years, another individual, just like Kathleen, teen mom, right? High school dropout feels the same emotions that you felt. What's something that you wish that young woman would have known then that this woman knows today? Sure.

SPEAKER_01

Ooh, like instantly, instantly. Normally I want to process it for at least a couple seconds and like before you even finish the question, I already knew what the answer was. And it's to remain present. It is to remain present because I was always strategizing, I was always processing, I was always planning and plotting and figuring it out. And it was, and it it really boils back down to my nervous system. You know, like I mean, I could tell you uh there's so much depth in this vessel of who I am, it's not even funny. But how about the fact that I was raised with a father that was a heroin addict? So this starts from from being a baby, right? And it was always bad, but it got really bad. So I'm told, but I'm also told that he was the most amazing man in the world. Absolutely amazing. Everybody loved him. You know, being the youngest of four of a fairly popular family, he was a firefighter as well. And as I grew up and started getting older, and when people found out I was the youngest daughter of his, the moment they found that out, they were like, I love your dad. He's absolutely amazing. I'm like, who are you talking about? Like, that's not that that's not, and I would I would never be disrespectful, like, you know, in the sense of saying that in that moment, but that's how I felt. And I would almost be jealous. Like, I won't I would want to know him. Like, where is that dude? You know, I don't know who you're talking about, but thanks. Like, let me in for free or throw me a bone. Like, why what tell me, you know what I mean? Like, do something for me if you think he's so great. Like, what the hell, you know? And I didn't have the presence of really anybody in my life, like as an adult that was an adult to me as a child. And, you know, going through finding out that I was pregnant, everybody does the best that they could do. I will preface it with that because I would never want it to look like anyone in my family would ever do anything to hurt me, but they were very disappointed in me, very disappointed in me. And in that, they didn't support me much, right? Like at all. Like we I was talking to my brother earlier, and he said that he was driving his son to school. It's a really good school, it's out of their district. He's in some sort of aviation program. And I said, Oh, yeah, I remember those days. I remember driving my daughter 45 minutes, 50 minutes to kindergarten to get her in a good school, right? And he's like, Oh yeah. He's like, Oh, yeah, I remember you were in like the rougher part of the town. Oh, that we called the war zone. Yeah, I remember that very, very clearly, right? So that teen girl, that young woman, that whoever it is, the presence that you want from other people that we thirst for, we need to give ourselves. And that's what I've learned through all of that is just being present with myself. If I'm feeling anxious, it's it's slowing down to say, okay, what is it? Like, what am I anxious about? Like for me, nobody else is gonna give me answers, right? Like it's like the the presence, like just be present in the moment when you slow things down. You know, when when my son gets in a frenzy over something, I'll tell him the same thing. Okay, hold on, slow it down, take a deep breath. What's the actual problem? I literally tell him this. Have you eaten today? Do you need to drink some water? You need to go outside.

SPEAKER_03

Now that 20, that 20-year-old, because he's about 20, right?

SPEAKER_01

He's uh gonna be, yeah, he's 23. He's gonna be 24.

SPEAKER_03

Has probably no similarity to the 20-year-old version of you.

SPEAKER_01

Uh, you know what? He is he is one of the most fascinating humans I have ever met in my life. And and yes, there is a lot of similarities. He is, we were talking about it the other day, and he's so he's just adorable. He's my favorite. And I said, Well, if if I I said, could you because he he still finds things out about me, right? Like he's literally still finds things out. I'll say, Oh yeah, I remember this, and it's like some wild story, and he's just like, Who are you? Like, what the hell? And I said, Well, you have a story, you have a really good story. And he said, Well, it's my story, and I started telling his story, and I said, Well, let's see. So I'm it starts with me as your mom, first of all, that in itself.

SPEAKER_07

I mean, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01

Like, we we don't we don't have to go any further, son. Like, we already made it. Like, remember how I said, uh, Brandon said, from if you go back from the beginning to where you are, because we're always, I'm always looking at the hairy audacious goal, the gap between now and there. And you get you get frustrated and we're like, well, this shit's so simple. Like, why am I, you know, and you get in that frenzy. But when he brought it back to the center in the beginning of it, and the now, in the presence of now, and saying, Holy crap, look at that game, right? Like that, I I was literally like, we we don't need if we did nothing right now, we won in life. Like we won in the game in life.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and I think we all I think everybody needs that reminder. I mean, even you know, those of us on, you know, on this pod right now, those that are listening, and and I know a decent amount of Shane's background, he knows a little bit of mine, and and we have some some deep similarities on the hardships that we faced as growing up in this world and and all the things that we overcame. And and I know without a doubt, I'm I'm guilty as well as looking forward and like, okay, I don't, I'm not where I want to be. I don't have this where I want it to be, I don't have this business where I want it to be. And it's always that big, hairy audacious go, and like, okay, it can be more, can do more, all that, and not very seldom taking that pause and taking that time to literally look, look at look at where you came from. Look what you got through to get here. And I know I'm I'm quick to close that door just because it's like, well, wait, I didn't I'm not really anywhere yet because I'm not there, I don't have this done, or I don't have that done, and not always gross, but look where you've came from. Give yourself some I think you almost have to give yourself grace as you give others, and I don't know if we always give it to ourselves.

SPEAKER_04

So I think that's I think that's something that's a gift that John has. John has the ability to take everyone in the room, and he already knows this. You wouldn't be in that room, you wouldn't be writing those checks. To be in those proxim in that close of proximity with other people that have been where you want to go, or vice versa. He has a unique ability to bring everybody's vulnerability out and make everybody comfortable with that vulnerability, and then all of a sudden it's like you're looking around the room, you look differently in that room when you walk out than you did when you walk in. It's and it's nothing against the you know, the big Tom Ferry events. So those great. Those are great, just tremendous value there, but it's different. You see everybody playing real estate in those events, in those functions. Everybody got in for 99 bucks, and they'll be back next year for another 99 bucks, and they'll subscribe to something for 99 bucks a month, and the needle won't get moved, but it is a different you walk out there out of those rooms not knowing any more about those people than when you walked into them. When you walk out of an event, you you have lifelong connections with people that you didn't have a clue that were at some other location in the world that have been through some of the same or similar things, whether it's today's you know, trials and tribulations, or whether it's 20 years ago or 30 years ago. Right? And then you're looking at a guy that had, you know, five owed four and a half million dollars worth of IRS taxes five years ago, had a net worth of zero, with a beautiful daughter with 31 uh heart surgeries in the past 18 months, 12, I mean last, you know, in her lifetime, several of those in the last 18, 24 months. But when you see this, like, okay, real people, real hurdles, real obstacles, real trials and tribulations, like, man, like life wasn't it wasn't tough on me. Life was giving me opportunity I couldn't see yet, right?

SPEAKER_01

I I yeah, I believe that. Like I know, and I've always said that when I was really young, I heard Tony Robbins, I don't, I want to say I was maybe like in third grade, fourth grade, something like that. And I remember hearing him say you could do have him be anything that you want. And I'm like, huh. I was also the little girl that held people accountable. You know, my dad causing a a ruckus and being a maniac, and I'm like a five-year-old kicking him out of the house. Like, get out of my house. You know, and when he did wrong, I would say, like, do you? I mean, he didn't listen to me. He would laugh at me, which would piss me off, which now you can you can feel the fight, like you know where that fight comes from. Like that girl doesn't care. She's like a four or five-year-old telling a grown adult man what she thinks, and nobody tells her not to do it. My oldest sister used to say that I was so disrespectful and she didn't understand it. And I'm like, what did you not understand? Like, that was expressive, girlfriend. You should be. You know what I mean? Which is wild because what I shared with you guys earlier is somewhere in that I shut down. I I thought that as you matured, as you grew up and you got class and you were more polished, that kind of behavior wasn't like acceptable. And if I want to be more of a soft woman, that's not how we speak. And you know what I mean? And it and I just that version, I was almost ashamed of her, where it's like, we're so far from her, that's that's not who we are anymore, right? And then now she's she's uh reinvented, and now she has all of the things that her little heart could desire, and she's built businesses and she's made wise decisions, and she's saved herself so many times where it's like, I want that little five-year-old girl again to come out and play and say what she needs to say and hold people accountable and only be around honest people because that's what I used to demand from my dad. Now I never got him to admit anything, but I tried. You know what I mean? I try, I mean, I'm talking little girl, like I know you did this. Tell me, admit it. Don't lie, you know, could you imagine? Crazy.

SPEAKER_04

He probably did think it was adorable at that time. Like, here's my little girl coming to me, fire and you just fire blare and you know, guns blaring.

SPEAKER_01

So yeah, I mean, he loved me like no other. You know, as far as he was concerned, I was his baby girl. But he couldn't show up the way that I needed to. That's why when I'm working with clients, that's why when I'm with people, I'm as present as I possibly can be, because that's what I was lacking, and that's what I needed so badly from somebody. And then that transitioned into me giving it to myself and listening to my needs and doing what I needed. And that's now as a 40-something year old woman, right? That's recent. That's a recent discovery that that's a need. And that's that's part of the journey that's beautiful, is it's like, okay, I discovered this. The more that I express this, because the other thing that's powerful is the language, right? Like the language, when people give you language and they're like, shang, that's how I felt. Yes, I, you know, we see ourselves in each other. And when I started expressing myself and sharing more of my story, and people were like, Well, you know what that is, right? That's cognitive dissonance, or you know what that is, right? And giving me these terms, and then I had something to go off of. What the the gift that John has is unlocking people. Every time I'm around him, he unlocks something else. He unlocks something else. My acupuncturist says that it's he's I call him my healer, but he says it's blocks, and they're just, you know, unlocking these blocks. You're lifting the blocks to be more expressive of yourself.

Bravery Legacy Grandma Life And Outro

SPEAKER_03

So, in in some of what you had just shared there, and super appreciate the the openness on it all and and sharing. Amazing. It leads me into the it leads me into this, and we maybe we'll maybe we'll wrap at this because we've taken up a ton of your time and uh but we super super do appreciate it. And this is gonna be super impactful for a lot of people in a lot of different ways with this podcast on everything that we've just well, everything that we've covered, um, and everything that you've covered. Um something that I like that I've been pondering more and more uh and and reflecting on a little bit is uh and like the way I like to say it is that all of us have clocks that are ticking in the background, and you never know when that clock's gonna stop. If yours all of a sudden stops tomorrow, how do you want people to remember you?

SPEAKER_01

I would love if they remembered me as being brave. Being brave in every aspect of life just to go after it, just to do uh w when I set myself to something, just accomplishing it with more time. I want that bravery to transform in the sense of instead of going after it because I'm running away from pain, to run towards the pleasure, which I believe I've transitioned to. But really be able to create from a foundation that's peaceful. If I've done what I've done from a place of often scarcity and often feeling unsafe in the world, and often doing my best and figuring it out and being resourceful and leaning on myself and putting my head down and just, you know, bouncing my head off of every wall until I figured it out. Being relentless, being gritty, like that, it like I people are are are created with different elements, right? I'm fire if you didn't know that. Like fire, right? Like it's super important that I'm around water because I am fire. And I've done a lot, but fire burns things down too. So it's like, okay, I know I get to make the decisions for my life, and I get to choose this and I get to create it. And what happens when I create it from a place of authenticity, of safety, of calm, of clarity? What does that look like? Because that's that this new year has been the evolution of that version of me. And I want to see how far she's gonna go. And I know I'm gonna be kicking it on earth until I'm over a hundred. Like I've said it since I was young. Like, I'm gonna live to be super old. And part of that is because my kids are not getting me out of their life. Like they're stuck with me. Let me tell you this. Let me tell you this. I'm gonna be a grandma in July.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, congrats.

SPEAKER_01

My son, yeah. My son is expecting a little girl. So that in essence and in itself as well, with who I am, it's almost like a new responsibility of I knew what I created out sheer need for my children and providing for their needs. And I did a heck of a job. And then now we have a little girl and a granddaughter. It's like, wow, okay, who are we bringing? Who are they bringing into the world that I get to be present for? Like, how beautiful is that? Like now I get to pass along that presence and just simply exist and be in her world and support that. So it's this beautiful um just journey that we're on. And I'm like, hell yeah. Cause her grandma's gonna be a badass. So I'm gonna have a soft, sweet, kind of badass.

SPEAKER_04

So what's gonna be your so what's gonna be your granny name? What's gonna be your grandparent name? Like what's your honey? I like it. I like it. Maybe that will be it. We hope that that's it. Hot honey.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know if this is honey. I don't know if this is appropriate or not, but I want to tell you something funny. So cut this if you need to. But when my kids were so my daughter was a senior, my son was a junior, and some movie, I don't remember which movie came out, but it's the one where they were talking about the MILF. You know what I'm talking about? It was like that was the acronym that was real popular there for a while. And it was like, I'm not a cool, I'm not a normal mom, I'm a cool mom or whatever. And so kids at high school, boys at high school would say that. And my son, when he went into high school, he was like, No, nope, nope. He was like, We don't, we're not, no, that's fun being protective. Like, yeah, like no way. No way. So him and his girlfriend were here visiting back in January, and I'm getting ready in my room, and I'm putting my makeup on, and I was just kind of recollecting like when the kids were in high school and stuff, and I that memory came up. And so I walk into the kitchen as he's making breakfast, and I was like in sheer shock, right? Like, I was like, Oh my gosh, is this really happening? And I told him, Jacob, do you know what I just realized? And he's like, What? And I said, I wanna be a guilf. And he's like he goes, What? What are you talking about? And I said, I want to be a guilf.

SPEAKER_00

He's like a guilf. And I said, Yeah, a G. Think of think of what a G is. And he goes, A guilf. He goes, a grandma.

SPEAKER_01

He said, You're not gonna be You're gonna be a grandma. And I said, I know. That's wild. That's wild. So for anybody listening out there, go ahead and have those babies young.

SPEAKER_00

Go ahead and have those babies young. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Have fun. Enjoy that life and uh live that life. Is that an aura ring on your finger?

SPEAKER_00

A B.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Okay. What's the one on the other finger?

SPEAKER_00

That's a aura ring.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah, that's what I was thinking.

SPEAKER_00

R a ring. Yes, I love it. Love it.

SPEAKER_03

I got I got Jane addicted to it as well. Yeah, I did. Oh, check out this cool piece of technology. He's like, where do I get one?

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, glowing.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. What's your sleep score on average?

SPEAKER_04

Oh, sheesh. It's not good.

SPEAKER_01

Really?

SPEAKER_04

It's always it tends to fluctuate around the 60s, 60s, and 70s. I'm not Oh yeah. I'm I never hit 90s. My wife's like 93, 97. I'm like, if I get an 89, it's like, it must be a holiday where no one's working. That's the only time I can get an 90.

SPEAKER_01

Wow.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I know this is a game changer.

SPEAKER_01

The awareness is is amazing with it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Oh yeah. It's accountability. It's accountability. You look at the numbers, you're like, okay, I gotta fix that. So it becomes another scoreboard for the high D, the driver, the fire, right? So I'm not gonna be controlled by this. I'm gonna fix those scores. So it's made them front and center for sure. Front and center for sure.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

So let me ask you, Kathleen. So there there will be a lot of uh folks that want to connect with you and want to, you know, reach out to you and become uh a closer follower of you and your content and your belief systems and your values. So how would someone best reach out to you or get closer to you?

SPEAKER_01

I would say I'm most active on Facebook for sure. I don't know if that updates me or ages me, considering I'm gonna be a grandma, I guess it does. But I'm most active on Facebook. I have all of the social medias. It's just first name with the C, Kathleen, and then my last name, Varella.

SPEAKER_07

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Good deal. Folks, you have heard it here. She is absolutely a fireball. There's no question about that. There's no if, ands, or buts. If you catch this part of the segment, be sure to go back and you'll understand exactly where that thought process came from. It's been a blessing. It's been a great experience with you. Can't wait to connect with you again. And uh, when we wrap, hang around so we can make sure we get the rest of this stuff uploaded. Until then, take us out, Dwayne.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I tell you what, if you're listening to this episode today and you love what you've heard, there's a couple of things that we need you to do. One, there's a button somewhere, hit subscribe. That way you get notified every time that we drop another amazing guest like this so you don't miss out. We want to introduce you to just amazing rock stars that that are located all over the United States and and beyond. We've been across the border even. Also, secondly, if you love this episode or one of our other episodes, do a really huge favor, share it with somebody you know. There's somebody that needs to hear Kathleen's message and needs needs to hear a podcast that we've recorded, share it, share it. It's the best thing you can do for someone. Uh, it makes it's gonna fill your soul, it's gonna fill their theirs, and that's a huge thing. And then the third thing, if you could, there's a somewhere there's like, I don't know, like rate this podcast, review this podcast, and typically it comes along with like five stars. So if you could give us a five-star review, we would love it because Shane, what does five star reviews do for people?

SPEAKER_04

It brings us that Google juice.

SPEAKER_03

Oh boy, I tell you what, and Google juice is a real thing. Yes, it just bumps us up, it it goes ahead, it exposes us to more people, and that's what we just want to do. We want to help more people. So help us, help you, help people. It's that easy. So, from everybody here at real estate agent life, we're gonna say peace for today, and see you guys next week. Peace.

SPEAKER_07

Bye.

SPEAKER_02

Thanks for joining us on this episode of the REAL podcast. Don't forget to connect with us on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok for more exclusive content. Keep striving for success, and we'll see you in the next episode.