Growing Is Lonely: Here’s How High-Performing Leaders Handle It

Growing your business is exciting… and quietly isolating. One day you’re chasing bigger goals, making harder decisions, and realizing the people who used to “get it” no longer do. Welcome to one of the least talked about realities of leadership: growing often comes with loneliness.

In this episode of The Business Fix, Chrissy and Josh unpack why business growth and leadership loneliness go hand in hand and why nothing is “wrong” with you if success feels a little lonely. This conversation is for business owners, entrepreneurs, and managers who are leveling up professionally while feeling the emotional weight of outgrowing old relationships, shifting peer groups, and carrying responsibility that few people truly understand.

You'll learn:

• Why leadership growth changes relationships and how to spot misalignment early
• How to manage leadership loneliness without burning bridges or shrinking yourself
• Real-world insights on resilience, boundaries, and professional growth from Chrissy
• Practical strategies for growth, including peer groups, time boundaries, and smarter relationship investments

This episode covers leadership loneliness, personal growth, business mindset, resilience, peer networks, professional alignment, and managing relationships as your business grows—all through a practical, relatable lens. You’ll walk away with clarity on how to protect your energy, surround yourself with the right people, and keep growing without losing momentum, confidence, or yourself.

If you’re building a business, leading a team, or managing growth and feeling the isolation that comes with it, this conversation will hit home—and give you tools to move forward.

👉 Join the conversation: Leave a comment with what resonated most, drop a review if this episode helped you, or visit thebusinessfix.com to connect with Chrissy and Josh and explore more leadership and business growth resources.

If you're looking to get help with your culture, or to help out an entire group, reach out to Josh and Chrissy today!  We would love to see how we can help you, your business, or your event. Contact us!

ClarityHR is your fractional HR team, giving you real people, real support, and real solutions. Whether it’s compliance headaches, hiring struggles, or just needing someone to take the people stuff off your plate — we’ve got your back. So if you’re ready to stop using duct-tape and hope as your HR strategy and finally get some peace of mind, head over to ClarityHR.com

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🔗 Connect with Chrissy and Josh at https://www.businessfixpodcast.com/ for more tools, support, and clarity.

Enjoy the episode? Leave us a review, share it with your leadership team, and let us know your biggest takeaway in the comments!

Transcript

Chrissy Myers: You ready to be sad?

Josh Troche: Am I ready to be sad? Chrissy just asked me if I'm ready to be sad, and that is going to be how we're going to start this. Chrissy, if you're wondering if I'm ready to be sad, where do you think I exist? Oh no. Right, right, right. I the- this to me- so, but part of the reason is we talk about growth. We talk about professional growth, which is personal growth, which is all those other things. Sometimes that can be a very, very lonely place. Who your people are now may not be who your people were yesterday or who they are tomorrow.

Chrissy Myers: Yes.

Josh Troche: It's a difficult thing to talk about, but we are going to address that and I've got a box of Kleenexes over there. So, stay tuned.

Intro: She's the CEO. He's the marketing and operations guy. If it's broken, you need The Business Fix.

Josh Troche: Josh, do you have a word of the year? Like do you pick- you- you don't do any of that?

Chrissy Myers: No. So, do you have a word of the year? Like, because...

Josh Troche: Yes.

Chrissy Myers: New Year, what's your word of the year?

Josh Troche: Command.

Chrissy Myers: Command. So, why is it command?

Josh Troche: So, it's moving into the space of not command like "follow what I say," but command as in my presence, my power, my purpose. So, really taking the things and taking ownership of what I've been working on over the last few years and just moving forward.

Chrissy Myers: But you're so good at putting things into those single words.

Josh Troche: Yeah.

Chrissy Myers: I'm good at putting them into a long explanation.

Josh Troche: So, like-

Chrissy Myers: So, what's your paragraph?

Josh Troche: Correct. So, no, this year I- like, one of the things I'm focused on is: where am I spending my time? How am- how am I spending my time? And part of that is why we're talking about this this week because I have an interesting fact: studies on high-achieving entrepreneurs- could include us, maybe, depends on the day- it shows that their peer networks change completely on average every two to three years. That's sad. I mean, it's tough because you think like there's some people that still hang out with their childhood friends. I- yeah. So, like the people you start with are rarely the ones that you finish that journey with or you come along into the middle of that journey with. So, yeah, this- this is a difficult topic. It's a- it's a mental health topic. It's one that really kind of comes into it. I mean, we're constantly evolving, we're looking at our businesses, we're learning new skills, we're chasing bigger goals. We- we need to make sure we're intentional about the rooms that we are in.

Chrissy Myers: Very.

Josh Troche: I don't- I- there's certain people that I spend time with where there's not much business value with it, but I want to spend time with these people. Additionally, though, I- I want to look at like, "Hey, who are the people that I need to be hanging out with in order to keep the lights on for tomorrow?" Who's the people that I can talk to about this type of stuff? When you spend time doing that, sometimes family, friends, and others get left behind because there is a strategic need. We work- I mean, as entrepreneurs, we do work 24/7.

Chrissy Myers: Yes.

Josh Troche: There's times you watch football, I get on a motorcycle- that's how we check out. I'm not necessarily working then-

Chrissy Myers: But we're still texting each other going, "Hey, did you work on this?"

Josh Troche: Correct. You and I are texting each other about things like that. The other thing is, too, is there's that- like, if I'm out on the motorcycle and I stop someplace and I start talking with someone: "Oh, is this- is this- did I make a new business buddy, maybe?" There's those things that are just always going through our heads.

Chrissy Myers: Yes.

Josh Troche: So, with that, this is- resiliency is a big piece to this.

Chrissy Myers: It is.

Josh Troche: How do you bounce back from realizing "Hey, I have outgrown this, that, or the other?" And thankfully there are people that are going to come along no matter what.

Chrissy Myers: There are.

Josh Troche: There are some that are just- they're going to be good for you no matter where you're at. These- these are wonderful people to have. How do you- like, how do you cope with that emotional distance that you get with some of the growth, and what are some of the signs that sometimes you need to be like, "Hey, I'm busy today," when you get that phone call from someone?

Chrissy Myers: Yeah. So, I will say this topic when you said, "Hey, I think we should talk about this," I was like, "Yes! Let's do it." And then you started thinking about it, then you're like, "Oh, this is a bad idea." Because it really hits close to home for me. It does. Because when you said the two to three years and- yeah, that's about right. And you know, even if we don't always say it out loud, I mean, it's- growth is exciting, but it can be lonely. And there are going to be moments as you're growing and you're moving into different rooms and you're experiencing different things that you- most of the people in your sphere are not going to experience it, even when you come from a family business. Like, I will say, like, my relationships have changed dramatically in my family because I have grown in a lot of directions that my family wasn't interested in growing in. So, this is- this is a social media post that I'm not going to share with my family.

Josh Troche: No, I get- I get it because- and not to interrupt, but my dad was part of a very large business and some of the things that I'm doing, there's no- like, it doesn't register with him.

Chrissy Myers: No, that context isn't there.

Josh Troche: And it's- some of it's time, because he's- I mean, he hasn't worked in 27-odd years, he was able to retire and he's enjoying life and doing so many amazing things. But there's that distance and there's that- there's this gut feeling that we all carry around, and sometimes it is that- I don't want to say we're in this constant state of fight or flight, but a little bit.

Chrissy Myers: To some degree, yes. I mean, we talk about the making of corporate athletes. So, I will say, you know, that emotional distance that you get with people, it's real and it takes a toll. And so, you know, navigating it, yeah, it does require resilience. So, how do we move forward? Well, let's- let's talk about first why this happens, because for me, one of the biggest things is my friends group started to change, or people started to say, "You're different." And I was like, "What do you mean?" And I had to go to therapy.

Josh Troche: Was that another ulcer or no?

Chrissy Myers: No, I didn't get an ulcer, but I mean, there were a lot of tears, a lot of tears around it. So, why relationships shift as you grow? Because, you know, as you grow, you start asking different questions. You start making different decisions and you tolerate different levels of discomfort. Like, I mean, I had an ulcer in elementary school, I can handle a lot of stress. I mean, as a business owner, absolutely handle a lot of stress. Your capacity to navigate uncertainty and deal with difficult situations- it- it naturally creates distance. So, what's important to understand is that often people are projecting their limitations onto you, and it's not about you. And that was really hard for me because when people would say, "You're different," I hear "You're..." when it's really like "You're different and I'm not." It's that part- the parentheses that you didn't see. So, it's really about what your growth reflects back to them. It's risks they didn't take, it's challenges they didn't pursue, maybe decisions that they didn't have. And that can show up as jokes, it can show up as skepticism, guilt, or those subtle discouragements: "Are you really going to do that?" Yes, I am. Yes, I am. And over time, if you're not careful, it really starts to weigh on you.

Josh Troche: Yes.

Chrissy Myers: So, where are some of those signs where the relationship may be holding you back professionally? And I say professionally, I really just- just in general is probably a better way to put it. Here's some things that I've learned to pay attention to in part because I've done it wrong. So, learn from me, people, please. If you are consistently downplaying your goals around someone-

Josh Troche: Oh, good one.

Chrissy Myers: Are you shrinking? I mean, Josh, I realized a few years ago with certain people and even in community stuff, I wouldn't tell people what I did. I wouldn't tell people what I was working on. Yes, I- I- I am the Board Chair of an organization that has a 52 million dollar budget. And then I would sit in another room with in another organization where they had a million dollar budget and they would just look at me and go, "Do you know how to handle a budget?" And instead of going like, "Yes, BTFO," I would go, "I think so. I think so." Really? "I think so," Chrissy? That's... yes. So, but I mean, it's important because like, if you're consistently downplaying things around you, if you're shrinking, if you- you feel energized before you see some people and drained afterward, it's information. And it's not saying that those individuals are bad people.

Josh Troche: No, not at all, never.

Chrissy Myers: No, and it doesn't mean that I- some of them I still absolutely love and would do anything that they would ask. I'm never going to talk to them about my business, I'm never going to talk to them about some of the things that I'm struggling with anymore. But it just means that the relationship may no longer support the version of who you are or who you are becoming. It doesn't mean you're throwing them away, it doesn't mean you're cutting them off- toxicity, boundary, that's a different conversation. But it means that it may be time to exit them from your personal board of directors. So, maybe this isn't the person that I go to when I'm saying, "Hey, I'm thinking about doing something different," and they're like, "Well, you always do something..." Like, don't do that.

Josh Troche: I love the head motion that you had with that- that was very-

Chrissy Myers: Trust me, it's- do you think maybe I experienced it? And I will say too, like there's- there's a cost of maintaining relationships that no longer serve your vision. There really is- that no longer align with your direction. And it's not just emotional, it's mental energy, it's self-doubt, it's hesitation, it's again, shrinking yourself to stay connected. And I will tell you, I- I mean, let's just lay it down on the therapy couch right now: I have issues with abandonment. I have huge ones. I lost a husband to suicide- I'm going to have issues with abandonment. So, I know that I've got to pay attention to that. But I mean, the truth is that every hour that you spend justifying your growth to someone else just to make sure that they still like you or still believe in you is an hour you're not investing in becoming the leader your business or the leader your family or the leader that you actually need. So, I am working really hard to not shrink myself so that I can step into the future that is truly destined for me. That, and I mean- I know it sounds really big, but-

Josh Troche: It's-

Chrissy Myers: It's true! It's- got all meta here. It is. It's like, okay, here we go. But and because of that, here is where I am at. I mean, we talk about, you know, your friend group changes- my friend group has changed dramatically. And as I start to think about it, like I'm- I'm almost like teary about some of it because there have been moments where I was stepping into something and I was so excited and I'm explaining it to- to different people and they literally looked at me and said, "We can't be friends anymore because I no longer understand you." And I'm like, "You no longer understand me? You canceled on me this one day because you needed to do this thing." And I'm like, "I was going to be interim CEO for an organization in the oil and gas service space that I was going to take out of receivership- that I did. And I- when- go play landman for a year and you're mad because I missed lunch with you one time? Like, my career is- this is- this is really cool. This is huge." Yes. No understanding of it. So, what I will tell you is when that happens, you've got to grieve that loss.

Josh Troche: Yep.

Chrissy Myers: You've got to deal with it. You can't just be like, "Ugh, whatever." No, you've got to deal with it, because if you don't deal with it in that moment or soon after, it's going to weigh on you. But I will say too, it's really important to have some type of- whether it's professional peer group or organization- of different people that think like you or are thinking in spaces bigger than you. It's really important to do that. So, for me, masterminds, forums, CEO groups, trusted peers- are the people who normalize that growth pressure and big thinking.

Josh Troche: Right.

Chrissy Myers: Yeah. So, as I'm moving, as I'm growing, I'm moving into other rooms and going, "Okay, these are people that can talk to me and aren't going to flinch when I start talking about a risk."

Josh Troche: That- that is the biggest point to it- is so many people see just the risk-

Chrissy Myers: Yes.

Josh Troche: -and we are inherently more risk-welcoming.

Chrissy Myers: Exactly.

Josh Troche: Otherwise, we never would have started this.

Chrissy Myers: We wouldn't do the things that we do now. I mean, what I love about those types of peer groups is they don't get uncomfortable when you talk about ambition.

Josh Troche: Right.

Chrissy Myers: And you can't be in that space either- here's the other thing I will say- is you've got to be willing to walk into those spaces and be confident in who you are and say, "I don't know everything, but I'm also not going to shrink because all of these people are way bigger than me and badder than me." That's okay. You want to be in rooms- you don't- I never want to be the smartest person in the room. Ever. Because then I've stopped growing.

Josh Troche: Well, you do the podcast, so you're willing-

Chrissy Myers: Stop it! Not okay. So, I mean, and the other thing I would say too, is you're not replacing old relationships. You're balancing them with people who kind of pull you forward.

Josh Troche: Yep.

Chrissy Myers: So, and I will say there's a- before I have one more thing-

Josh Troche: Keep going, you're doing good.

Chrissy Myers: Okay, I want to talk about how to kindly address that drift with old friends, because this has been painful, all right?

Josh Troche: It's huge.

Chrissy Myers: It is. And it's- this is- if you don't hear anything else in this podcast, I want you to hear this. And maybe a couple things Josh says.

Josh Troche: Thank you.

Chrissy Myers: You're welcome. Here's what I want you to hear: you don't have to burn bridges to honor your growth. No. Sometimes the kindest thing that you can do is to allow the relationship to evolve or naturally loosen. If you had lunch with this person every week and it is no longer- you feel like you're a hostage, nothing is happening, you know what? How about you widen that gap? "You know what, maybe I- I'm- I'm really busy." My schedule really transitioned some of my friend groups too, because I was so consistent and I was- I'm always the person that's going to show up.

Josh Troche: Yep.

Chrissy Myers: And then I realized I'm the person that's showing up, but it's not serving me.

Josh Troche: Correct.

Chrissy Myers: So, if you can allow those things to naturally loosen without blame, without drama, you don't owe everyone access to every version of you, and that was something that was really hard for me to start learning: was that not everybody deserves my full story. And that's okay.

Josh Troche: Ooh, I- that's a- that's an interesting way to look at that. That really is.

Chrissy Myers: Yeah. And you can love people deeply- this is for those of you in family business, here you go- you can love people deeply and still choose to not let them shape your future.

Josh Troche: Yes, agreed.

Chrissy Myers: So, whether you're in a business or not, like, remember that. And being resilient is really trusting that growth is going to cost you some familiarity, but it's also going to give you alignment, clarity, and momentum in return.

Josh Troche: Ah, you said clarity.

Chrissy Myers: I did. I did.

Josh Troche: If we don't rank for that keyword, I'm going to be very upset.

Chrissy Myers: I will be too! And I mean, you just got to remember too, you know, growth doesn't mean leaving people behind, it's really about choosing yourself.

Josh Troche: Yes.

Chrissy Myers: And we're not going to leave ourselves behind in the process.

Josh Troche: I wholeheartedly agree. No, everything that you said here was- I truly- it's- I mean, we'll just copy and paste that in my mind and we're good to set.

Chrissy Myers: No, I mean, so that's- I've been on the feely side. I know that you're going to give me some steps. I mean, I can- I can rattle some off from Resilient Operating System, but I want to know: what are you doing on some of this?

Josh Troche: It's- it's to me, it's- first off, it's tough to process that realization. And in sometimes like- it- it's not always obvious because there's text messages that I get from people where I'm like, "Oh, didn't see that one." Uh, or- or pretend, I guess I would say pretend I didn't see that one. And I guess I would say I used to feel horrible about it. And now I'm kind of like, "Okay, there's some people that I realize I just have absolutely nothing in common with." Like you show up for- and you show up maybe for that conversation and you're like, "How's it going?" And they start talking and you're like, like before they're four sentences in, you're thinking, "Oh god, this was a mistake."

Chrissy Myers: It is. I've been there. I've been there.

Josh Troche: Yeah, oh, and it's one of those things that I've found typically I do it two or three times before I'm like, "Okay, we- we need to start- we need to start moving here in a direction," because it's tough to come to that realization where you're like, "Oh, I have moved on from this. I- I am no longer here." And it's- you can feel that you're not present just because you're not there. Your- your mind is someplace else, your brain is someplace else, and you just don't- you just don't feel it. Or you get angry.

Chrissy Myers: Like there've been moments in a few places- Chrissy is trying to make new friends. So, we're in- and I will say this too, as you find new peer groups, there are certain groups that you're going to have affinity for. Like, as you get into certain spaces and net worth, it makes sense to kind of move around with people that are in similar situations to you. But just because they're in a similar situation to you on their balance sheet doesn't mean that they do the same things that you do. So, great case in point: we had a holiday dinner. My husband was like, "I need you to go, it's husbands and wives." I'm like, "Mother- mmm, okay. Fine. I'll go." And so I had to sit in this group and it just all of a sudden and again- family, love my family, love them, adore them- but the big conversation was, "How do you get your kids to travel sports on time?" That was the corner of the room that I was supposed to talk to. And so we got in the car and I said-

Josh Troche: You just punch them. Drag them to the car, done.

Chrissy Myers: Exactly! And I'm- and I wanted to say like, "I don't know what you're talking about because we don't live our lives that way, and even if I did have that capacity, I have outsourced how some of that happens in our lives." So, I want to talk about business, or I want to talk about something else and I- and it was like, "No, no, no, you need to go over to that corner." And I was like, "I love you, Steve. If I ever have to go to this room again..." But it was saying not- and it wasn't the like, "I can't stand these people," they're- they were very nice people. We have nothing in common. And so, I am happy- like, so again, that was last year. This year he's like, "Do you want to go to the holiday dinner?" It was like, "Do you remember how it felt? It's like, do you want to sleep on the couch? We will not be going to that holiday dinner."

Josh Troche: It's funny, I get- I get text messages from some old friends and so many times it's like, "Hey, show up to this event that we're doing." And I go there and it is people I'm looking around that I'm like, "I have absolutely nothing to say to most of these people." And they'll come up and be like, "What kind of beer do you want?" And I'm like, "I don't even drink."

Chrissy Myers: Exactly! Yeah, that's another one we should probably talk about at some point in the podcast, when your lifestyle choices are so different.

Josh Troche: Right. I mean, the lives are- the interests are 100- just everything about the life is different. And you're like, "Oh, this- this is painful. This sucks."

Chrissy Myers: Or you feel like you've walked into a time capsule- because that happens in the last- oh, yeah.

Josh Troche: It has, it has. And the other- the other piece to that is then too is what's tough about that is like you said, you kind of have to mourn that friendship because you're like, "I've lost this." It's because I'm in a different place now, and I'm in a better place now, but instead of them being in a better place, you're being in a better place, I guess. But it's- it's the same type of mourning just because of the fact what you had and what felt so good at the time is no longer there, and that's tough to deal with.

The thing that I have found that like, for me- it's looking at the- and it's a big part of the reason why we do this podcast- I'm looking at like- I- I have some skill gaps. How I present information to people could be one of them. We talked about that a little bit earlier before the show where I'm like, "I sent this email and it was one sentence." I- like- most of Chrissy's emails, like, when they get sent, they're short, they're succinct, they're- they're to the point, but they're pleasant. Like, I've- like thought many times about starting my emails "Hopefully this email finds you before I do." Things of that nature.

Chrissy Myers: So often!

Josh Troche: Right. So, to me, it's- I look for- like who has skills that I don't that I can learn from? Who has- and it's once again, this isn't like- I mean, you have many skills that I don't. And this is not me trying to ride your coattails, this is me trying to learn.

Chrissy Myers: No, we're learning from each other.

Josh Troche: And you said the same thing- I loved when you said about the balance sheet could be different, the businesses could be different. Our businesses are completely different, our balance sheets- god, I hope they're very different, especially with the number of employees you have.

Chrissy Myers: They are.

Josh Troche: Good, good, good. If they weren't, I'd be worried.

Chrissy Myers: And I'd want to know what you're doing. So, yeah, we'd be trading other things.

Josh Troche: Right. So, to me, when- but we still have- we identify these skills that we both have, that we both see things differently. And once again, it's about- it's identifying that gap that you have and we are looking to surround ourselves with people that have these things that we don't. And the thing that I love about this is it's not a stretch, because this is the thing that you should be doing when you hire people. Find the people in your business that do the things well that you don't. Too many people hire similar people to them. And I see it sometimes where too- other people- I mean, look, I should not be trying to always get in the room with the- with a Forbes 100 CEO. Not the right room for me. In the same sense, though, to shoot a couple of levels above where I'm at? Absolutely, you should. Because you can be in those rooms. We talk about it, too, to put it in the podcast perspective: when you're a guest on someone's podcast, if you have 100 followers, don't email Joe Rogan. No. If you have 100 followers and someone else has 1,000 followers, pretty good chance you're going to get on their podcast. But once again, so there's that balance because there's something that can be gained from everyone. What sucks is when you realize that you're in a relationship where there's not much to be gained from it. And it's not that- it's not that relationships are transactional.

Chrissy Myers: No.

Josh Troche: I love we both have talked about Scott Galloway before. And he says you should never keep a scorecard in a relationship because you're always going to be disappointed. And I agree to that. But you know if there's give and take, and there should be both. The other thing to me is the- like, I talk about finding the "how" in when you're looking at people. I mean, find- find those right people that are in your industry, that may have adjacent things that you can learn stuff from, that you can work from there again too. What the difficult part is as you grow is- like, for me, setting some of the boundaries. You have a way that you can softly set boundaries. You can tell people like, "Hey, I'd love to sit and talk but I've only got 20 minutes." You can do that in a way that is pleasant for people.

Chrissy Myers: You could do that too.

Josh Troche: I've gotten better about it, and I've learned that from you. Because to me, it's like I'd be like, "You got 20 minutes, go." Just because of the way I am. My brain says we've got 20 minutes, I need to let that person know that we have 20 minutes. So, I say, "We've got 20 minutes, start." Took me some time to realize that's not necessarily the way to do it. And plus, I would let a lot of people that would before, they'd be like, "Hey, I put time in your calendar." And I'd be like, "Uh, I don't have time for that," because there's nothing to be gained from either one of us by that. And I would realize that, they wouldn't realize that. The other thing is, is there's- there's certain areas where there's people that I hang out with that I want to spend time with that I just have put a "no business" context on. We're going to talk about dirt bikes, we're going to talk about motorcycles, we're going to talk about mechanical things, we're going to talk about sports. Yep. We're going to talk about those things and I realize that I need to shut 90 percent of my brain- because that's what 90 percent of my brain is dedicated to is business. I need to go to the fun part of my brain, which the business is fun part, but I need to go to the- I need to go to the non-business fun part of my brain. The other thing, and I always tell people this- and I know I shouldn't say this because we're recording this at like 12:43 in the afternoon- I realize I am absolutely useless between 11:00 and 2:00.

Chrissy Myers: My brain just- know that's what we record most of the podcast, guys.

Josh Troche: It typically is. But- I mean, from- I typically lower-end things. If I have a meeting that I know I need to be super sharp for, guess what? That's first thing in the morning.

Chrissy Myers: Oh, gosh yeah.

Josh Troche: Boy, hit me up early. 4:00 in the afternoon? No way.

Chrissy Myers: 4:00 in the morning? I got you.

Josh Troche: Oh, yeah, yeah, maybe that's when we should start recording. So, yeah, I- like things that may be energy-draining, I schedule for those times where I'm already just- I'm already sapped. You're going to get what's left. Because there's a piece to that.

The other thing is, is digital rules. You would not believe the number of contacts in my phone that are muted. Absolutely. There's eight or ten that can get through anytime, any day, any place, anywhere, because I'm- I'm excited and I want to hear from those people. There's others where I'm like, "Eh, maybe not." I'll get to that in the morning. That's important enough that I'll talk to them in the morning. I don't need to send them a text at 11:30 at night when they sent me theirs.

Chrissy Myers: No, same thing with emails. Like there's- depending on when I send stuff, I put in the parenthesis "I do not expect a response anytime soon, I'm just sending this to get it out of my inbox."

Josh Troche: I just gave that advice to someone this morning about something else when it comes to emails. Was talking with them and they said, "Yeah, they're like- just the number of email that I have to handle in a day." And I said, "What do you look at first when you come in?" She'd be like, "Emails." And I said, "Don't look at them until 9:00. Do your thing from 7:00..."

Chrissy Myers: No! I learned that from you.

Josh Troche: Do your thing from 7:30... I don't even open my Gmail for a couple of hours. Look at that later. That's stuff that other people want from me, and I will get it done.

Chrissy Myers: Exactly!

Josh Troche: But when I need to be super sharp, I'm going to do my stuff and I'm going to do my thing. This is- it's interesting because this is- in some ways, it's therapeutic because for- I know for me to hear it from you, it's nice to hear, "Yep, there's going to be people that you're just going to have to mourn. You're just going to cut them off and it sucks."

Chrissy Myers: And they may be people that did a significant amount of life with you.

Josh Troche: 100 percent, yes.

Chrissy Myers: And that's- and that's difficult and it sucks. And it's part of the reason why I wanted to record this too, is because as business owners, we occasionally need to hear from other business owners that this sucks.

Josh Troche: Yeah.

Chrissy Myers: And it's normal. Like, and growth is normal, outgrowing people is sad, but it's normal.

Josh Troche: It's perfectly normal. It is the cycle of life as an entrepreneur that is wanting to grow their business, as anyone that's growing- I mean, there's people that grow their careers and do the same thing.

Chrissy Myers: It's the same- whether you grow your careers, you could change- I mean, you move into a different tax bracket, you move- you move to a different place, you move regionally, and it's different. So, it's just- it's part- change is part of life, growth is part of life.

Josh Troche: You had an interesting discussion point on the difference between personal loyalty and professional alignment.

Chrissy Myers: Yes. So, you can be personally loyal to someone and still recognize they're no longer professionally aligned with where you're going.

Josh Troche: It's tough. And the fact- I love the fact that you put it that way because that is a tough thing to hear. We- every single one of us knows this, deep down inside, we all know this.

Chrissy Myers: We do.

Josh Troche: But it's the thing that we don't want to admit.

Chrissy Myers: Mmm, loyalty is about care and history, alignment is about direction.

Josh Troche: Yes. It's- it's realizing, "Hey, I shouldn't have that second cookie." I know it. That's a very good point. I- I know this, but I need someone to tell me.

Chrissy Myers: I do.

Josh Troche: Loneliness at the top, it's common, but manageable.

Chrissy Myers: Yes.

Josh Troche: What do you do to manage this?

Chrissy Myers: Serenity now! It is, yeah, that's it. So, I would say it's manageable when you build intentional spaces to be seen and understood. Yep. So, a couple of years ago I had to pursue a new- like, in essence, a new friend group. I had to find people that could align with where I was. I mean, 10KSB was great, Scalarator was great. And then as I started moving into more national spaces, it was "Okay, what are the other places?" I mean, I have an organization- I have a group of- there's ten of us, ten women, we all own businesses, and we talk about everything. But being able to find that context of that group was really important. So, I would say, you know, you're not lonely when you're intentional in who you're pursuing in relationships and friendships and- you- you've got to do that. And if you're not- if you're not married or your spouse does not have a good understanding of- of how to navigate the business or how the business works or what the pressure is, it's really important that you find a friend group that you can lean on. Because there are some spouses- mine does not- like we can share and it's perfectly fine. But there are some where they get nervous about the business. They get nervous- you get concerned about payroll and then they're like, "Oh my gosh, what's going on?" I mean, that said, I'm married to a day trader so there are moments where I get nervous and he's like, "Oh, we're fine." So, like but it's dialogue. So, finding those other people, whether it's Entrepreneurs' Organization, whether it's being an alum of 10,000 Small Businesses, or going into- I mean, there's so many organizations. There's YPO, there's- there's EO, there's- there's Vistage, there's the ones that are cheaper like GoBundance. It just kind of depends. Like there's so many of them. Find a group, find some friends.

Josh Troche: Find friends. And I- some people are like, "I don't want to pay for my friends."

Chrissy Myers: Too effing bad right now. You've got to make them. Because you're going to- it's not that you are paying- you are paying to be in an organization that can help professionally develop you so that you can make friends. Nobody says you've got to be in there forever. I mean, there a couple organizations that I- I paid to be in so I could build a network, and now I'm not in them anymore. But those friends are still there, still traveling with them three, four times a year.

Josh Troche: You're not renting them.

Chrissy Myers: I'm not renting them. We meet every week in a chat to talk to each other. Like that is alignment and intentionality in finding a friend group that pushes me.

Josh Troche: Yep, no, I totally get that. Uh, for quick actionable steps: one, to me, audit your five. Who are the five people that you spend the most time with? Are they helping you or hurting you? I mean, and you just have to look at that, like "Do I leave that room like happy or ugh?"

Chrissy Myers: Exactly. That's the technical term: ugh. I love that, ugh. All right, mine would be stop taking advice from non-experts.

Josh Troche: Yeah.

Chrissy Myers: So, when your friend group doesn't have the capacity or the understanding of the things that you need solved, you either need to go pay somebody to do that or find more friends.

Josh Troche: Yep.

Chrissy Myers: It's okay. Take advice from people who have successfully achieved what you're trying to achieve, or in process of doing it with you. Because going together is great.

Josh Troche: Oh, yeah.

Chrissy Myers: Did you just have this hiccup? No? You will.

Josh Troche: Yeah.

Chrissy Myers: "Is this normal?" "Yes, it is." I just had that conversation yesterday with this group of women. I'm like, "This is what I'm dealing with." They're like, "Congratulations!" I'm like, "Oh... I don't want to deal with this, I don't want to be a pirate." Invest in your network, because if you don't- guess what? It's like anything else. If you don't invest in your marketing, if you don't invest in your whatever. Your network is the most important thing that you can invest in because these are the people that will- some of them are the ones that will write you checks. Others are the ones that when you are on the office floor crying that you can text and be like, "Hey, not feeling so good about this," and they're going to text back and be like, "Get your ass up off the floor, we got to do this."

Chrissy Myers: Exactly! And I would say manage that drift kindly. Yes, if you need to spend less time with that old friend, be kind but firm, because growth is really your priority.

Josh Troche: Yep.

Chrissy Myers: How do you handle someone who constantly is like- when you say, "Hey, I'm doing the thing," they're like, "Oh, you're doing that?" How do you handle that?

Josh Troche: Oh, I've had that experience recently. So, I would say when someone projects fear onto your goals, the kindest thing you can do is not to let their fear become your ceiling.

Chrissy Myers: Smile and nod and say "Thank you" and-

Josh Troche: And you can love people and still outgrow the limits they place on you.

Chrissy Myers: I love that. Yeah, that- that- that's a key.

Josh Troche: Yeah. So, Josh, what's the single biggest operational investment you can make to immediately access a higher quality peer group?

Chrissy Myers: Intention. So many people just hang out. Find people that have skills you don't, find the people that are where you want to be. Floating gets you nowhere, paddle the boat.

Josh Troche: Yes. Reach out to people that scare you a little. Ask them to lunch, ask them for coffee, ask them for a 30-minute virtual coffee.

Chrissy Myers: Is that how we ended up talking? You're like, "This guy's scary."

Josh Troche: Speaking of being scary, next week we are talking about civility in the workplace. So, this is going to be a Chrissy-only- no. Civility is dead. Yes. That all being said, strategically pick your environment, move yourself forward, pick yourself up, find the people that'll help you do that. If you are looking for people to do that, https://www.google.com/search?q=BusinessFixPodcast.com. Send us a message, we will be part of your tribe, would be honored to do that. Reach out to one of us on the social medias, all the social medias. Send us DMs everywhere.

Chrissy Myers: We're friendly. Yes, we are. Well, at least Chrissy is.

Josh Troche: A review and a subscribe- we would love that from you. As always, do us a favor: take care of yourself. If you can, take care of someone else too. We will see you very soon.