FXBG Neighbors Podcast
Fredericksburg Neighbors Podcast
FXBG Neighbors Podcast
EP #65 The Path to Personal and Professional Harmony
Ever feel like you're sacrificing your personal joy on the altar of professional success? Shelita Duke of SheWin Unlimited challenges this damaging mindset as she shares her journey from government professional to fractional COO and personal success strategist.
Drawing from her 30+ years of experience in policy, operations, and compliance, Shelita now specializes in people-centered operational transformation. Her mission? Empowering women to break free from self-sacrifice cycles while still achieving their professional goals. The name "SheWin" itself carries a beautiful story, originating from her maiden name Winfield and a cherished friendship that reminds us of the power of personal connection.
Shelita boldly confronts three pervasive myths holding women back: the false choice between personal and professional success, the trap of endless research without action, and the misguided belief that self-care is selfish. Her airplane oxygen mask analogy perfectly captures why we must prioritize our own wellbeing before helping others. Through vulnerable sharing about overcoming personal betrayal, Shelita demonstrates how challenging experiences can become sources of strength and wisdom rather than permanent setbacks.
What makes Shelita's approach unique is her focus on internal joy that can't be stolen by external circumstances. "Events happen to you, not in you," she reminds us, offering a powerful perspective shift for anyone facing challenges. Her advice for entrepreneurs cuts straight to the heart of personal accountability: when examining what's keeping you stuck, begin and end by looking in the mirror.
Ready to transform your approach to success? Connect with Shelita at shelita@shewinunlimited.com or through her website at www.shewinunlimited.com and discover how to create harmony between all aspects of your life without sacrifice.
Shelita Duke
SheWin Unlimited
shelita@shewinunlimited.com
+1 571-248-1220
This is the Fredericksburg Neighbors Podcast, the place where local businesses and neighbors come together. Here's your host, Dori Stewart.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to another episode of the FXBG Neighbors Podcast, where we share the stories of our favorite local brands. I'm excited to introduce my guest today. We have Shelita Duke of SheWin Unlimited, joining us. Shelita, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 3:Thank you, Dori. I appreciate the invitation.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm excited to learn all about you and your business. So let's start there. Let's start by sharing with the listeners a little bit about SheW in unlimited absolutely well.
Speaker 3:first I'll start with the story of where SheWin comes from. Like you said, I am Shelita Duke. My maiden name is Winfield. So some years, decades ago, I had a friend. Her name was Sheila Willis and she was she will. And as when I was Shelita Winfield, I was She Win, and that's what we called ourselves, and we didn't have a business then. We just were two friends messing around and that's where it all came from. She Win Unlimited is my name and that's what it stands for, and so the business is a personal and professional success strategist. Success strategist that's what I do, and in doing that I am empowering women to break the cycle of self-sacrifice in the name of success. And on the business side of that, the professional side, I am a fractional chief operating officer specializing in people-centered operational transformation through change management, culture and connections.
Speaker 2:Amazing.
Speaker 3:Amazing.
Speaker 2:Such important work and so needed. So I'd love to hear more about the backstory. Tell us about your journey. How did you get into this?
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely. Well, my journey, like most other road trips, was not a straight line. It was not a straight route. I got into personal success coaching because I was always strategizing with women who were completely frustrated that work was getting in the way of the things that they love to do, of doing the things that brought them joy, things like family, their friends doing ministry, their dreams, hope, joy. You know, the things that actually fuel your fire. And so I got into the fractional side because, once I retired, I realized that I didn't have to sacrifice my professional accomplishments as I pursued my personal endeavors. This way of thinking is how I got into the fractional operations business and it allowed me to pivot while using my 30 plus years of government experience and the space of policy, operations and compliance. And, just like I tell the women that I work with, I really can have and do it all.
Speaker 2:I love that. I love that. What a great message. I love that. So tell me, do you find that there are any myths or misconceptions when it comes to your business or the industry in general?
Speaker 3:Yeah, there are. There are many. I focus on the three that I see are the most prevalent, and that is the first myth or misconception is that you have to trade success in one area in order to have success in another area, and we don't have to do that. I don't have to sacrifice time with my family or friends or doing the things that I love in order to build my career. There has to be some level of harmony or some level of balance which I like to call harmony in doing all the things, but you don't have to trade one. I don't have to sacrifice one for the other. I don't have to sacrifice myself, my well-being, my health, any of those things in order to succeed in a professional environment.
Speaker 3:The second myth or or misconception is that make sure you research. I am a researchaholic and what I learned over time is that doing a ton of research in fact can keep you from receiving the things that you actually want. I would go down this rabbit hole looking and researching all the things, putting all the things together but not actually pulling the trigger and not actually doing any things. It was all research but no implementation.
Speaker 3:The third myth or misconception that I found is that women don't deserve to take time out for themselves. That is a lie. We absolutely do deserve it, we need it, we got to have it. We need to make sure that as we are pouring into others, we are pouring into ourselves. I was recently on a plane flying around trip to Dallas back and back home, and I was reminded, and the safety briefing, that you must put your mask of oxygen on first before you can help someone else, and it's no different. See that as being any different. I have to take care of myself first before I can take care of anybody else, and so it is not selfish, it is not evil, it is not a I choose me over everybody else mindset. But in order for me to be the best me for you, I have to be the best me for me.
Speaker 2:I love that. That's powerful. I love it and I feel like you were speaking to me. I can sometimes get stuck in analysis paralysis.
Speaker 3:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Yeah, Okay, Shalita, I need to know Clearly you work very hard on your business. When you're not working, what are you doing for fun?
Speaker 3:People ask me this question all the time and I got to tell you I love to travel. That's why I became a travel advisor. I don't even talk about that part of the business, but I love to travel. I love the Caribbean. It's a rejuvenation space for me, it is what fills my cup, and when I'm on that beach soaking in that sun, with my feet in the sand, looking at the ocean or the pool or whatever it is, I am so full and so filled. So that is always my number one thing in order for me to get back to my own self. So definitely the first thing would be traveling. The second thing is I watch a lot of mindless TV because obviously I can't travel all the time. So I watch a lot of mindless TV because, you know, obviously I can't travel all the time. So I watch a lot of mindless TV HGTV, Game Show Network and recently, dare I say, I am a little embarrassed I've started binging on Caught in the Act.
Speaker 3:I think it's on MTV, I think you know, but Caught in the Act about cheaters and people living a double life.
Speaker 2:But anyway, I think you know, but Courtney act about cheaters and people living a double life, but anyway, it is it is.
Speaker 3:I watch it because it is juicy and it is fun and it is funny, but it is also a reminder of how we, especially women, can sacrifice our morals, our values, our choices, in the name of caring for someone else, and how, when we lose sight of who we truly are, that we will put up with just any and everything.
Speaker 2:A lot of lessons in watching that show.
Speaker 3:There are a lot of lessons in watching that show. At least, that's what I tell myself when I'm watching it. This is research. I'm learning something.
Speaker 2:It's research. I love it. So let's switch gears a little bit. What is a hardship or something that was a challenge that you have gone through, that you now feel like you're stronger, better for it now that you're on the other side of it?
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely there were. There are a couple that I could pick from. I think the one I will will resonate with the most of the listeners, especially women in general, is finding out that my then husband was cheating on me on me. He was cheating on me with two women at the same time, both of whom I knew. One had been in my house, one we had invited to church.
Speaker 3:She was a long time best friend of his sister's, so it wasn't as if they were strangers or any of those things it was people that I knew, and so that was probably one of the hardest things that I had to deal with and that I had to get over. In that situation, I learned my own strength, and I learned how resilient I am. I also learned how good and faithful God is in the midst of each and every storm, and I learned that no man, no one person, can steal your hopes, your dreams or your joy, unless you allow it.
Speaker 2:Powerful and I imagine you. You are a much better advisor and mentor to other women because you went through that and because you can share your struggles, but also how you overcame it, with others.
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely. I think one of the best characteristics of a coach, of somebody who is working with people in general, is empathy, and so when you can put yourself in someone else's shoes, when you can share an experience, when you can give a personal example, I do think that that helps with the know, like and trust factor. It helps break down those walls and it helps people become not just vulnerable with you but even more vulnerable and transparent within themselves. So, yeah, I think that makes all the difference.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're all uniquely positioned to serve the person we once were right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, absolutely. That's a great statement. So true, so very true.
Speaker 2:So what is something that you wish the listeners knew about your business?
Speaker 3:That's not a hard question, but it's a thought provoking question, I think the one thing I mean there are many things, obviously, but I think the one thing is that, at the core of SheWin U nlimited, it is my primary goal for you to be ecstatic about the life that God gave you, for you to know that there is joy on the other side, that joy is internal, and that there is not one thing, there is not one person, there is not one event, not one disappointment, not one failure that can take that away from you. To know that you are not the sum of the events that have happened to you, but you are the person who you design yourself to be, that you can really be anything and anybody you want, and remember that events happen to you but not in you that's good.
Speaker 2:I love that. You said that you use the word ecstatic the ecstatic about the life you live. I love that. I love that. So let me ask you this do you have some advice for someone who is a new entrepreneur, someone thinking about starting their own business?
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely so. I had this question asked before and I really had to think about. What advice I always give is, when you look around at all the things that you think are keeping you stuck, make sure to start and end with looking right in the mirror. That's good. That's good. That's where it all begins and that's where it all ends, with you.
Speaker 2:I love that. Thank you for that advice.
Speaker 3:Yes, absolutely you.
Speaker 2:I love that Thank you for that advice, absolutely, so tell me. If the listeners want to connect with you or learn more from you, what's the best way to find you?
Speaker 3:The easiest way is you can reach out to me directly by calling me at 571-248-1220, or you can email me at shelita unlimited. com. Um. I also do have a website um, www. shewinunlimited. com amazing Shelita.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for joining me on the podcast today and sharing. SheWin with us absolutely.
Speaker 1:Thank you so very much you in with us, absolutely, thank you, so very much. Thank you for listening to the Fredericksburg Neighbors Podcast. To nominate your favorite local businesses to be featured on the show, go to fxbgneighborspodcast. com.