EP #175 How Non-Medical Home Care Helps Families Thrive

Waiting until a parent falls, wanders, or hits a breaking point is the fastest way to make caregiving feel like panic instead of love. We talk with Karen Koudelka from Virginia Home Care Partners about how non-medical in-home care can become a true lifeline for families who want their loved one to age in place while staying safe, connected, and respected.

Karen shares what companion care and personal care services look like day to day, and why so many adult children feel unprepared: nobody trains us to care for our parents, yet we’re expected to figure it out under pressure. We dig into the “village” mindset, how starting early creates better options, and why Fredericksburg, VA has more community resources than many people realize. She also breaks down a surprising myth families pick up online: asking for only one caregiver. Instead, her agency builds small, consistent care teams that protect client comfort and caregiver work-life balance, creating stability on both sides.

We also spend time on dementia care, including why fear and hurt feelings are so common when “mom is not mom,” and how education can replace conflict with practical tools. As a certified dementia educator trained with Teepa Snow’s Positive Approach to Care, Karen explains how training and shared language can turn a tense home into a calmer, more supportive environment. If you’re navigating caregiving decisions, looking for a home care agency, or supporting a loved one with dementia, this conversation offers clarity and real-world guidance.

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Karen Koudelka

Virginia Home Care Partners 

virginiahomecarepartners.com

info@virginiahomecarepartners.com

+1 540-419-1615

10718 Ballantraye Dr. Suite 410, Fredericksburg, VA

Transcript

Show Welcome And Guest Intro

Speaker 0:01

This is the Fredericksburg Neighbors Podcast, the place where local businesses and neighbors come together. Here's your host, Dori Stewart.

Speaker 1 0:13

Welcome back to another episode of the FXBG Neighbors Podcast, where we share the stories of our favorite local brands. I'm excited to introduce you to my guest today. We've got Karen Koudelka, and she is with Virginia Home Care Partners. Karen, welcome to the podcast.

Speaker 2 0:31

Thank you, Dori. I really appreciate you and how you connect individuals in our community and also give opportunity to connect with local businesses. It's wonderful. So thank you for all that you're doing.

Speaker 1 0:45

Absolutely. Well, thank you. I love doing it and I love learning more about our local businesses.

What Non-Medical Home Care Means

Speaker 1 0:52

And so why don't we start there? Share with us what is Virginia Home Care Partners.

Speaker 2 0:58

So we provide non-medical in-home care. So we are in the home health field, um, but a little bit of a different niche. So we're non-medical providing companion care and personal care service. So we are licensed by Virginia Department of Health for the personal care service.

Speaker 1 1:18

Amazing. So tell me what inspired you to work with older adults or families.

Speaker 2 1:26

Well, my career was in hospice, and I absolutely loved it, had a great passion for it, never thought about leaving, but had an opportunity to open a home care agency. And because when I was with hospice, I saw lots of families who desperately needed this come alongside service. And they weren't being met with the needs that they had as far as being like a lifeline. And so wanted to offer something different in the community. And there are franchises which are wonderful. But what if, right? Entrepreneurs always see a problem and think, what if, what if we could offer something different? And so we decided to build from the ground up and be very different. And so it's just been an amazing journey to do that, to get to work with families now for even a longer duration. And as that is a natural progression of a lot of our clients, of course, to go on hospice for their last active living. We get to partner with them for that longer duration and be that safety net, be creative, be outside the box. And so just love that I have the freedom to work with individuals and families in that way. It's been wonderful.

Speaker 1 2:45

I love that so much. And as someone who has aging parents myself, um, I understand how important it is to have someone like you, a business like you, by your side.

Aging Without Fear Needs A Village

Speaker 1 2:59

So tell me, what is one thing families often misunderstand about aging or care?

Speaker 2 3:07

Well, many of them are resistant. And so I would say to those um daughters and sons who may be trying to provide care or seeing a need, but not knowing do we need care, do we not need care? None of us were trained to take care of our parents. And I took care of my parents through their journey. They're both now gone. Um, but none of us had that training. And so just get a lifeline. You need a village. You really need a village because you want that last chapter to be meaningful and to walk that through. It's such a special time. It's not a time to fear. It can be a challenging time, but it can also have a lot of beauty in that. So many times families will call, they'll wait, we'll get the crisis call, which we can jump in. And it's a beautiful thing to meet with a family, take them from crisis to thriving, right? Or to a peaceful journey and a plan that everyone gets to enjoy the journey. Um, but definitely look ahead at options, see what options are out there. Fredericksburg is so rich in community resources, and I love that. Um, so there's so much to offer, and it's just good to start those conversations. Um, there's, you know, because there fear can creep in, um, but knowledge really doesn't leave room for fear. And so the more knowledge, the more information that you get, the more comes to light as to what you can do. And so that would be the first thing.

Why A Care Team Beats One

Speaker 2 4:38

The second thing is um many times when individuals are researching on the internet of how to find a home care agency, what questions do you ask them? Um, and one thing that you will find is oh, ask for only one caregiver. And um, when we opened our agency, that was very popular. It died down a little bit over the years and it recircled back about three years ago. And so we do hear this a lot. And when we hear that, we just smile because we can't wait to explain what the benefit of not doing that is. So, with with our agency, when someone calls and says, we just want one care, one care partner is what we call our caregivers. And so we explain, you know, you're going to need a village, and so we select designated care partners for mom's team. So that's what it would look like, depending on how much service she may have, two care partners in an emergency backup. Um, because care partners have lives too, work-life balance is important. We honor and respect them just like we do our clients. And so um, we do have a small team, they get to know them because as someone ages, their world gets smaller and smaller and smaller. And the more their limitations come in, that perpetuates it as well. And so when several care partners come in, become like friends or family, it broadens their world and it's a beautiful thing. So weeks, months later, when we talk to the family, they get very excited. Oh, mom loves her team, and this care partner she does this with, and they cook because they love cooking, and this one she's traveled the world, and so they get out the photo albums and they do this and you know, review them and talk about places they've been to. And so it just brings um a bigger world for them. Um, and that also for the care partner is very important too, because they're not serving one client, they're serving several designated teams. So that gives them balance as well. So they're learning to invest in different individuals, learn about different diagnoses and how to provide care. They'll learn something at one client's home, maybe a new recipe, and try it at this one. And um, so it's a beautiful thing for them as well. And then if their client is to come off service or pass away, then they don't go from I need 40 hours to survive, right? Financially, we all have needs to they increase with other other team, and so we can keep them more stable. So their stability is very important to us as well. So having more than one care partner is nothing to fear. It's actually very exciting.

Speaker 1 7:18

I love how positive you are about the whole experience, both for the, you know, the the um the patient, if you will, and the family, but also your care partners. Um, I I love how you're using the word beautiful and just how positive of an experience you're describing. You don't hear that very often. You you are a breath of fresh air.

Speaker 2 7:44

Well, thank you. Our team is um, you know, everybody can say their team's amazing, but they inspire me so much. Um their ground floor, the work that they do is just shy of a miracle, um, honestly. And so when we were building the agency, I had worked with CNAs, but I wanted to see what are their pain points, what are their challenges? How could we meet their needs when they come on our team? And so so I hopped on some blogs uh for a few months and read and learned lots of things I didn't want to know and all kinds of things, but we had two takeaways. So one was low pay, and the other was no respect. And I said, My goodness, that's easy, easy solvable. So, so we've never hired a marketing person. We chose to put that into our team, invest in our team in a different way. So we've never had a salesperson we built by reputation, and um, I'm so I couldn't be more proud of them because it's who we are. VHCP is a business, but um, it's made up of people. So it's it's not me, um, it's our team.

Speaker 1 8:52

Amazing. They're lucky to have a leader like you.

Speaker 2 8:55

Oh, well, thank you. Well, I I feel mutual, I just love them.

Speaker 1 8:59

Yeah, amazing.

Dementia Support Through Training

Speaker 1 9:01

So, how can you offer support to families who have loved ones living with dementia?

Speaker 2 9:08

So many families now are struggling with dementia. So women are 70% more likely to have dementia than men. So we're seeing a lot of dementia. Um, and so this is very concerning because um mom is not like she used to be. I don't know how to interact with her. Mom is not mom. My dad had dementia and he was in late stage when he passed. My mom also had some dementia. So I got to learn firsthand from them. Um, I'm also a certified um dementia educator. I have been for 10 years with Teepa Snow. So she's a world-renown renowned educator and expert in the field. So if anyone is looking for help with dementia, I would highly recommend her. Um, you can find her on our website, on YouTube. And um, so I've been a trainer. We train our team. We also invite our families to come in. So they train right alongside the care partners. So we're all on the same page with a positive approach to care. So many times we'll come into a home and they're very frustrated, not understanding dementia. And so there's a lot of friction, right? Um, mom's not like she used to be, and there's a lot of hurt feelings, it comes from fear. And so us coming in and being able to work with the families, help educate them as well, is really can turn things around into you know a positive care situation. And so we do also invite the community to come in as well. So those are open. So we do put that information out for the workshops. And um, you know, again, knowledge can replace fear. And so get that village around you, especially if it's with dementia. You cannot go it alone. If that's one thing I can get across to someone who has a loved one with dementia, is please don't go it alone. You want it to be the best experience for you and your loved one, knowing the journey wouldn't be, you know, many, many years, but you also want that for your loved one.

Speaker 1 11:07

Absolutely.

Building Trust With Honor And Love

Speaker 1 11:08

And so there's a lot of trust involved in this process. So, how do you build trust with a new client?

Speaker 2 11:17

That's a great question. So we lead with honor and respect, and we value receiving honor and respect. And so when we're leading with honor and respect, you're much more likely to receive that back. And so we have that built in as a common thread throughout everything that we do. And the overall arching thing that frames all that we do is our mission. So our mission is not a paragraph nobody knows. Um, all of our team knows our mission. It's to love people, journey together, and make a difference. And so we have a saying, love always wins. So we have clients who don't roll out the red carpet. I don't need care. My daughter thinks I need this, but I don't need this, right? Um, we had a client who um she was lived alone, never had children, traveled the world, and she had severe limitations. She only had one living relative, but not local. And so we came in to start caring for her, and she was tough. Uh, nothing was to her expectation, everything was done wrong. Her coffee was not the right temperature. I mean, it was just on and on. And so our team just kept loving her and loving her and serving her and serving her. And it was fun to see the wall that was up start to come down and start to come down, and then she fully embraced us. And then COVID hit, and so that made her world even smaller. And so we were there to walk that journey with her. Um, and when we have a client that passes away, and um, our team has made that connection and and you know, they give up their hearts a lot, our care partners. And so when we as a team have made that connection, it's challenging. And so we had a care support meeting that we bring all the team in the nurses, the care partners, our care management at the office. It's like a celebration of life for the client. How did it impact their life? How did they impact us? And it was one of the most beautiful meetings because she inspired one care partner to get her citizenship, and she worked really hard to get it before she passed, and she did. And she inspired others in there in lots of different ways, and it became such a beautiful family that we would have never experienced that had we not led with honor and respect and just kept loving her and breaking down that wall. So it's just incredible to watch the process. And for me, the best part is just when I go out to a home to introduce a care partner or one of our team does to the family, and we drive away knowing their lives about to change and it's gonna be really good.

Speaker 1 13:53

You've built something really special.

Speaker 2 13:55

Oh, well, thank you. I, you know, when I talked to you about even having the podcast, I said if if I can share our team and our heart and what we do, that's what means the most.

Speaker 1 14:06

So yeah, thank you. So, how do you handle clients who are nervous or resistant to care? And how do you help them feel comfortable?

Speaker 2 14:17

So, this happens quite a bit. Again, they don't need care, my daughter thinks I need this, or my son. Um, and so so we come in, we go out a first to do um, we do a phone assessment initially to gather some information to see what are the needs, can we meet these needs? And then we go out and do an assessment in the home, and um, we talk about really everything. Um, many times individuals don't know how to even have that conversation with their parents, and so we talk about that. Um, we gather a lot of information. What was their career? What hobbies do they have? What things did they enjoy doing? And so many of them will say, Well, I used to cook, and but I can't cook anymore. Um, they can, but it just needs to look different. So we find out what their limitations are, and then we come up to their limitation and don't go over. So they can cook because the care partner can make the mashed potatoes, bring them over, and they can season them and help stir them, right? Um, they also teach care partners things, and so that gives them purpose. So we try to find purpose, we find enjoyment. They forget they can enjoy life, they've been in survival mode. So many times getting to know them. Um, we also come out and introduce the care partner so they get to know them. Care partners write notes to each other on that team. Um, and so they're always in communication about any changes, anything that was special. Maybe they found out a certain thing the client likes to eat or a place to go, and so they make notes to each other. Um, I just had a client the other day said, My care partner that was new brought me coffee and she put two creamers, two creamers. How did she know I need I like two creamers, you know? So important because that's their world, right? That's what's important to them. So, so really getting to know them, walking that journey, walking with the family, staying in lots of communication together helps them to feel much more comfortable. And a lot of our calls for service are um their referrals from other clients or their their children's coworkers, or you know, it's a hospital or doctor's office, or someone that's had interactions, and they may have two or three referrals, and they're like, Well, I'm just going with you because you know, I've you've been highly recommended. So I just again a shout out to our team for building that reputation of loving people. Um, you know, it does give that comfort level to clients to know who we are.

Speaker 1 16:48

Yeah.

Culture That Supports Clients And Staff

Speaker 1 16:49

Well, you've clearly created a wonderful culture there. So talk to me a little bit about what that means to you.

Speaker 2 16:57

Yes. So again, going back to that love is our culture. You know, it is about clients. That's what we're here for, is to serve clients and be a part of their lives. Partnership is hugely important to us with our clients. But you know, if we don't have care partners to partner with, then we are not going to be helping the clients. And so those partnerships are very important to us. We're selective on who we hire. And so we may go a duration of time of not hiring because if we don't find the right individuals to invest in, then um we just have to turn down clients, have a wait list. A lot of clients, if they can, are willing to wait. Some, you know, need to move on, and we totally understand that. But um, but having that culture of support. So anytime a client is being served, they can call care management. It's one of our team. We all take rotation. We don't have an answering service. They're getting someone who knows them and can do whatever they need to have done. So we had a client who um she is uh we've had her for years taking care of her. She's bedbound, and her husband is her primary caregiver. There's no family local. He went out to run a couple of errands, he um had a medical event and ended up um in the parking lot. So somebody um called 911, he went to the hospital, and so um, of course, we needed to stay with her. So, again, going back to that team and the culture that we have, that care partner was able to stay an extra four hours. We called another care partner on the team, she was able to cover the overnight, and we just walk that journey until he got back home from the hospital, and he was just so thankful. And it's like it's because we need a village and we need each other for that. So, care partners also cover for each other. So I've I kind of am sad a bit when a care partner says from somewhere they've worked that they they have one client, and you can tell the responsibility put on them that I can never take a day off. I you know, because I have to be there for them, and it it really is difficult. And so being able to have a team, you need vacation, take vacation, have a great time. The rest of the team has got it. Um, and so it's just that culture of loving each other, um, honor and respecting each other, and they're so willing to jump in. So our um rate for not being able to serve a client because when we commit, we really commit is 0.001. And so I again have to brag on our team just a bit because that's unheard of in the industry, and it's because of their dedication, but it's not that we're taking advantage of them, it's what we want for them, not from them. And so it's done through partnership and support, and it's just a beautiful thing.

Speaker 1 19:48

Wow. Yeah, I'm so impressed that that rate says everything about your business. I mean, that is that's really big. I love it.

Speaker 2 19:57

Yeah, I think the biggest thing it says to me is is love. I mean, and that is our mission because without that, that changes everything. And going back to love always wins. There's a lot of wins when you love people.

Speaker 1 20:09

Yeah, absolutely. Is there uh anything else that you would like to share with our listeners?

Speaker 2 20:17

Um you know, it it is difficult what we do, and so we go into homes, and um, you know, we're in family dynamics, and it's hard, and every family has a dynamic, we all do. And so being able to go into that home, um work with the dynamic, figure out what are their expectations, how can we provide care, how can we make this into a partnership. We had a client that we served, and um the husband, he was um a little bit challenging to say the least. And we walked this journey, and it's because a lot of these uh clients that have been married for you know 60, 70 years is a phenomenal, um, living so much longer now. And they just love their loved one and they want the best for them. And so um, she we walked her through end of life, she passed away, and a couple of months later, I stopped by his home to sit down and chat with him. And we were talking, and he was reflecting on the team and his love for the team and appreciation for taking care of his wife. And he said, He said, You know, I was really hard on you. And I'm like, Yes, you were, but I said, I saw your heart, and he went, You saw my heart? And I was like, Yeah, I saw your heart. And I think that sums it up because there were times when you know, a care partner would call for support and I'd call him or go over and visit and explain, okay, this is how we honor and respect each other, and this is what it looks like. So, you know, um, and he would get on board, okay. I'm sorry, sorry, we're gonna do this. Yeah, we are. Um, and we were able to walk his journey as well through his with his family till you know his last breath we were there for. And I just can't imagine not being able to do that for families because it should be such a special time. So I just encourage families that um draw in that support system. There is lots of resources. Um, we are available to talk through that. Anyone who calls here, I can guarantee will never have a hard sell because we're not selling anything, we're loving people, and so whether it's hospice coming in, home health, or other support, you know, alongside with us, we work in coordination and care with them. And so just make it a good journey. And if it's not, reach out because there is a way, there's always a way.

Speaker 1 22:46

Amazing. I love it. I love everything that you're doing. And I imagine there are listeners that also love what you are

How To Reach Virginia Home Care

Speaker 1 22:54

doing. And if they want to reach out to you, if they want to learn more about you or connect, where can they find you?

Speaker 2 23:01

Sure. So our website, Virginia Home CarePartners.com. Um, also, if it's someone who is interested in the caregiving path, and many of our caregivers do come from helping a family member and discovering, oh, I have something that was drawn out of me that I really um love that fed me about caregiving. And so they don't need to have any experience. We train and walk that journey with them. We provide the credentialing the state provides at no cost. So they can find us at VHCpjobs.com or on our website. And um, we just look forward to adding to our team and being able to reach more people.

Speaker 1 23:41

Amazing. Karen, thank you so much for joining me on the podcast today and sharing Virginia Home Care Partners with us.

Speaker 2 23:49

Well, thank you so much, Dori.

Speaker 23:50

It was a pleasure.

Nominate A Local Business

Speaker 23:53

Thank you for listening to the Fredericksburg Neighbors Podcast. To nominate your favorite local businesses to be featured on the show, go to FXBG NeighborsPodcast.com.