Ep 36 - The Cost of Personalising Health | Ayurveda, Commitment & The Myth of the Quick Fix

Ep. 36 – The Cost of Personalising Health | Ayurveda, Commitment & The Myth of the Quick Fix

In this episode of Lean on Ayurveda, I reflect on a conversation I recently had with my eldest about learning a new musical instrument — and how that conversation unexpectedly revealed something profound about holistic health, healing and personal transformation.

Because whether we are learning music, building a relationship with our body, or walking an Ayurvedic path, there is always a cost to the experience.

Not necessarily a dramatic cost — but a willingness to feel discomfort, repetition, vulnerability, frustration, patience and responsibility along the way.

In this episode, I explore why so many people long for a personalised and holistic approach to health, while simultaneously struggling with the level of participation, commitment and self-inquiry that this kind of work actually asks of us.

This is a nuanced conversation about modern wellness culture, the fantasy of the quick fix, nervous system resistance, and what it truly means to engage in personalised healing work through the lens of Ayurveda.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why learning a musical instrument mirrors the process of holistic healing
• The hidden “cost” of personalised health support
• Why Ayurveda requires participation rather than passive treatment
• The difference between wanting holistic care and being willing to get personal
• The modern expectation of quick fixes in wellness culture
• Why discomfort, repetition and vulnerability are part of meaningful transformation
• The illusion of “freedom” and how our lifestyle choices impact health
• How to approach health responsibility without guilt or shame

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Transcript

Welcome And Episode Setup

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hi and welcome to the Lenan Ayurvala Podcast. Here we explore how the ancient wisdom of Ayurvala can help us gain a deeper understanding of our body and open the gateway to finally feeling better.

SPEAKER_01 0:22

Hello and thank you for tuning into episode 36. I have a special one for you today. I was actually going to talk about something else, but this morning I was having a very inspiring conversation with my eldest. And I feel like so much of that conversation we had together could be applicable for people who are thinking about engaging with Ayurveda or any other path in holistic health. And so I decided instead of talking about what I had originally planned, I am going to share with you a part of our conversation. And I'm gonna talk about something that I don't feel is talked about enough. And that topic is the cost of personalized health.

Learning An Instrument Means Discomfort

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Okay, so to bring you back into this morning and my conversation with my eldest, um she has been expressing over the past weeks that um she would like to pick up a new musical instrument um for the next school year. And um she had a few ideas, and um, I mean she is a girl with a lot of vata, so ideas, she's never short on ideas, she always has a lot of enthusiasm to try new things. Um it's more the sticking to it and the endurance part that for her is a bit more challenging. And this time I did something different with her. So as we were having this conversation about like what um you know which musical instrument she she would like to try, and um um looking at timetables and so on, I started asking her some interesting open-ended questions which I believe will help shape her future experience, whatever she chooses. And the questions that I asked her had to do with her inquiry about what is she willing to feel and experience as part of this desire to play a new instrument, right? So, for example, um I asked her, are you willing to experience that your teacher will be giving you homework, whether you like it or not? Right? And some days you'll do it happily, and some days you will wish that it wasn't there, because you'd much rather play with your neighbor, right? Um are you willing to experience that? That some days you'll find homework annoying and yet it will still be there. Are you willing to experience boredom? Right? Because sometimes our learning journeys can include boredom, right? It can include lots of repetition when we're learning a new tune and we need to our teacher makes us play the same bars over and over and over and over. I still remember that from my piano lessons. Are you willing to for boredom to be part of that experience sometimes? Also, are you willing to feel a lot of joy of discovering the world of this new instrument? Right? Discovering the joy of music. Are you willing for frustration to be part of the picture? Because it will be part of the picture at some point. Right? Whoever has played an instrument will know or played a sport will know that frustration, moments of frustration, you know, it it's inevitable to have that, to be part of the experience. Right? We can't go into an experience and um an experience like learning an instrument or playing a sport and tell ourselves that we're not willing to ever feel frustration because then that path is not for us, right? And so, you know, these questions are kind of like opening her up as she is deciding how and in what capacity she's going to commit to this particular instrument that she wants to take on. And they're opening up her mind and preparing her mind, her manas, her thinking mind, that there will be all sorts of experiences.

Why Personalized Health Gets Personal

SPEAKER_01 6:35

And the reason why I think this conversation was very valuable for her, but also is very valuable to hear, um, you know, for for you as my audience, is that sometimes we will have a desire to pursue something, but we don't realize that there is a cost to pursuing that something. So, for example, what I see happen, and and and this is really real, because this is coming from real conversations with people. What can often happen is that um, you know, we might have our experiences with the conventional medical system, and especially if we're dealing with like a lot of different symptoms, um, we might have this experience of like being shuffled from one specialist to another, and like doctors taking a super specific, super specialized approach, and then we don't feel like we're treated as like you know, as as like as a whole, as a human being, right? And we're treated as like separate body systems, like you know, as a hormonal imbalance, or as like a gut issue, or um, you know, like a herniated disc. And sometimes we might have this desire to have holistic follow-up, right? To have this desire of a person to look at our symptoms and yet not lose track of the human that is experiencing those symptoms, right? That is um the this like broad holistic approach, and so what I've seen, what I've experienced is that you know, sometimes people who are seeking this holistic approach because they experience the opposite, they experience being treated as these separate parts in the conventional medical care. And so sometimes, you know, we can come to the world of Ayurveda seeking a personalized approach to healthcare, seeking a holistic approach to healthcare, right, where we are seen as a whole human being, right? With of course taking you know taking into account the symptoms we're experiencing as this human being, but also having our health history and and our emotional world and um and our mental landscape as well, like all of these things they contribute to how we experience our health, right? And so we are seeking for somebody who could help us get there, right? Who could help us understand ourselves through this very different lens, but sometimes what we forget is that a personalized approach requires getting personal, right? So, for example, when I start working with a new client, we have a two-hour intake session, right? Because that allows me to see those patterns, right? The patterns in their body, the patterns in their mind, the patterns in their emotions, right? And that allows me to tailor my advice to what I see. This is the personalized

The Quick Fix Expectation Trap

SPEAKER_01 11:05

approach, and sometimes we are seeking this approach, but we're not willing to get personal. Like sometimes people will be shocked to hear that an intake takes this long. Sometimes people are shocked to hear that you know, the first Ayurvedic journey that um I offer people takes three months. Because, in their opinions, it should be something that we should be able to fit into a few sessions, right? So sometimes just like we might be tempted to like play, you know, piano or or a flute or whatever other instrument, and we might see like imagine ourselves on stage already playing, we can't separate that journey from you know us feeling boredom, us going through repetition, us feeling frustrated at times as we're learning. Like that is an integral part of the journey of learning to play an instrument, and we can't pretend that we're gonna like go on this journey and not be willing to feel all these other things and only be open to like what is good and convenient to feel, right? So if we are seeking a personalized approach through a discipline like Ayurveda, we must also be willing to get personal, right? We must be willing to dedicate some of our time to it. Right? We must be willing to have a commitment, we must be willing to look at some of our patterns that might not be creating the result currently that we might want to have. We must make peace with somebody pointing out these patterns and not be defensive about it. Right? That's a very good question to ask. Like, are you willing to feel discomfort in that way? Right? Are you willing to feel vulnerable? Whether it's in front of, you know, your Ayurveda practitioner or your um, you know, Chinese medicine practitioner, are you willing to have some of your deep-seated beliefs challenged? That's also a very good one to ask. Are you willing to be wrong? And are you willing to celebrate when you realize that you were right? So what I'm getting at is that it's unreasonable to um, you know, be seeking a personalized approach to holistic health and not be willing to get personal. It's unreasonable to seek that and at the same time expect that your input would be equivalent to a quick fix. Right? So somehow I, as the Ayurvedic counselor, bring you the solution in one session without your participation. It's unreasonable. Yet there are people who think this way, who truly have this expectation that a holistic health counselor or practitioner will provide them the equivalent of you know a holistic answer in the same way as a medical doctor would, where you go in, you know, you have your appointment, and at the end of the appointment, you walk out with the name of the pill or whatever it is that they are prescribing, right? This is literally the expectation that some people will have, and so what I want to offer is if we are unwilling to get personal, if we are unwilling to get vulnerable in order to get really personalized advice, then we, you know, then we kind of lose our right to complain about how we feel treated by the Western medical system. Because it's kind of like saying, I want to be on stage playing that instrument, but I want it like right now, and I'm not willing to go through any of the frustration, any of the repetition, any of the homework. Uh, you know, like take away all the suckiness, like all the sucky times, and just give me the glory and make it quick, make it a quick fix so I can be on stage with my guitar or with my flute or whatever it is, right? It's it's kind of like asking for that, and no one in their sane mind would do that in the musical world because people know the world doesn't work doesn't work like this, but this happens in the wellness space more often than you would think. People say, Yes, I really want to see to understand myself holistically, because I can see the medical system doesn't give me all the answers, but also I don't really want to commit my time, I don't really want to commit my resources for this. Um, how do you want to do it? That's my question. How do you want to do it?

The Village Analogy For Commitment

SPEAKER_01 18:20

I um recently saw a brilliant post. It doesn't happen often nowadays, um, but I did see a brilliant post the other day on um I can't remember the account it was from, I would need to check it. But it was about like everyone's desire to um to like live in the village, to like create the village, you know. Now it's very vogue to say like we're recreating, building a village, but the post said um the village comes at an expense, and that expense is our individual freedom, and I love this pointing out because I think like everyone's quick to say, oh, I want a village, like I I want to live like this happy life where everyone helps each other, but please let it not touch my individual freedom. If it's my spa day, it's my spa day, right? If the like neighbor's barbecue is on this day, um, and I have like I don't know, a nail appointment. I'm doing my nail appointment, right? Or whatever, or whatever else that feels like more of an individual choice, right? So we might seek the village, right? That village experience, but are we ready to put collective interests above our individual interest? And that's a very interesting question, right? But the point is that there is a cost to having that village support, and the cost is that maybe on a day that you plan to like have a bath and read your book, you might end up babysitting somebody else's kids, right? Because their mom is sick or you know, had to like travel for family reasons or whatever, right? And you will end up taking a decision that is that has a better collective outcome and not necessarily a better individualistic outcome for you, and that is the price that not everyone is willing to pay, yet it's necessary if you want to have that village experience, it's a give and take experience, right? It's not that like you'll open the door and the village will show up. No, like you have to invest in it, and the same is like if you want to um you know relate with your body differently, that also has a price. It means you will be saying no to certain things and saying yes to certain things, it means that you will be spending money on certain things instead of spending money on other things, right? It means that you'll be spending your time a little differently, and if you're not willing to pay that price for what you're seeking, that's okay. It just means that you're not really seeking it, right? And that's okay. I'm not. Actively seeking certain things, and I'm not like willing to pay a price for it right now, and that's okay. We can't be seeking everything and everywhere. I

Freedom Versus Feeling Good

SPEAKER_01 22:12

have an another example actually from um a conversation I had with a woman who came to me and she was having some symptoms, and um she ended up saying, Um, I for me having the freedom to do whatever I want is really important, and I thought that was so telling. And I was like, Are you willing to give up some of your some of that freedom in order to feel better in your body? Um and and she was very triggered by this question, and so then this kind of becomes this consideration: like, what is more important to me? Is it more important for me to feel steadier and healthier in my body, or is it more important for me that I maintain this? Um, I'm doing air quotes freedom because it's not really real freedom, it's just like in in her mind, she was perceiving it as freedom, or is that more important? Knowing that the price of that will be that your body will respond, and so you will be less free in that sense, right? You can be as flexible as you want with your bedtime and your meal times and and eating whatever it is that you want, right? But if your body feels like crap, that will limit your freedom in making choices, you will actually have less choices, and you will make worse choices for you, right? And by the same token, if you do want to focus on feeling steadier, feeling healthier in your body, and like enhancing your health, that will inevitably come with some adjustments of what you perceive as freedom. Right? That will come with some decisions that you will likely need to make when it comes to your circadian rhythm, when it comes to your work-life balance, when it comes to your relationship boundaries. So the illusion that one might have that they're living this like unrestricted, free, free-form lifestyle, um, the illusion is that there isn't a cost to it. There is a cost to it, and that cost is probably your digestion, that cost is probably your sleep, your energy levels, possibly weight gain or weight loss, your relationships, your ability to perform at work, right? Or your ability to create good things in life, beautiful things in life.

Holistic Health Is Not A Free Lunch

SPEAKER_01 25:28

So, bottom line of this episode is just like playing, picking up a new instrument will require some kind of sacrifice, some kind of effort. Taking a personalized approach to health and well-being is no different. It also requires some kind of sacrifice, it requires some kind of effort, right? And it's naive to think that it's it will not be the case. It's naive to think that we can show up like and ask for holistic health solutions, but not be willing to feel frustration, not be willing to feel boredom, not be willing to feel challenged in our ways. Like when we have something that we've been doing forever, right? And and we have our long-form habits, and then somebody comes in and challenges that, right? Are we willing to feel that? Are we willing to give up some of our time for this? Are we willing to give up some of our finances for this? Whether it's investing in you know, better quality food, whether it's investing in like cleaner cookware, right? There are a million ways. But ultimately, holistic health is not a free lunch. And yet, I feel like all of the challenges and all of the discomfort that we might experience on our Ayurvedic journey is actually something that might make us appreciate life more, right? And make it okay to be, you know, to experience like the full spectrum of what humans are here to experience. So that we when when there is joy, we pick up on it more, right? If there was no opposite to joy, we would not know what joy is, right? So if we are going through something that is uncomfortable right now, that will enable us to spot comfort and enjoy comfort once it's there. So there is a huge value actually in being able to experience the full range of this spectrum. And as I look back on my own journey and like some really uncomfortable moments I had during it, um, there isn't a single instance where I could be thinking right now, looking back, I wish I hadn't felt that. Because each experience is valuable, each experience is a teacher.

Responsibility Without Guilt Or Shame

SPEAKER_01 29:06

And so to wrap up, I think I want to leave you with the question of how important is this personalized approach to my health and my well-being is to me right now? How much am I seeking it truly? And if that does feel like it has a lot of weight, then what are you willing to experience for it? And it could be, you know, that it's it's kind of like yeah, that would be nice, but it's not something that you are willing to like pay a price for, right? And and that's okay. But then with full consent and responsibility, you continue pursuing what is important to you and where you are ready to feel discomfort to pay a price, right? And then when it comes to health, you also take responsibility to no longer complain that you do not receive a personalized approach, right? Because if you're not willing to invest in it when it comes to your time, your resources, your effort, right, then it's a little bit unreasonable to expect that you'll get it. Right? So I hope you take this episode as um as coming from love, from a place of love. It truly is coming from love, and none of it is to be used against you, right? Even if you do recognize yourself in this pattern, like, hey, um, yeah, you know, it's like it feels too hard for me, and I don't want to go there, right? Um, simply take that as information, right? There's no need to put like um a guilt or shame tag on this pattern, right? You can just see it as information and and and see what comes up. And if you're listening and you're somebody who is on this journey, who has um said that you know I am willing to feel all of this, I'm willing to feel the full spectrum, the joy of it and the the hardship of it, right? Whether it's an Ayurveda Ayurveda journey or a different kind of journey. Um I my wish for you is to really embrace that all parts of the spectrum are important, and the hard parts will make the easy and the glorious parts shine more, right? So they're also needed. Thank you for spending this half an hour of your time with me.

Subscribe, Review, And Goodbye

SPEAKER_01 32:30

If you found this episode of value, I really encourage you to subscribe to the podcast and leave me a review or a rating because they really really help this show to be noticed by people who have no idea it exists in this humongous podcast jungle. I wish you a beautiful day and I look forward to reconnecting with you in a couple of weeks.

unknown 33:01

Bye.