You're Addicted To Momentum.

Who are you… when the thing you built is gone?

Most people never ask that question.
They just chase the next thing.

New idea. New business. New win.
Stay busy. Stay distracted. Don’t look back.

But that’s the trap.

In this episode of the Gregory Vetter Podcast, Greg and Mo break down what happens when your identity is tied to what you built—and what’s left when it’s gone.

They talk about:

• The “founder’s trap” and why people can’t slow down
• Why being busy can actually be a distraction
• The difference between who you are vs. what you do
• And how to rebuild from truth… not perception

Because at some point, the question shows up:

Was it luck… or did you actually build it?

And if you did… can you do it again?

This isn’t about business.
It’s about identity.

🎧 Listen now. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

I think founders and business owners, there is this need to find the next thing. And when you have a habit of hard work, high activation, problem solving, you know, that's where your cortisol spikes are coming from and your dopamine spikes are coming from. You have like a normal physiological reaction to that type of pace in life. So if you don't have that and you're used to that type of activity and environment, you're gonna be very restless walking around a farm trying to figure out what the fuck you're gonna do with your life. Greg Vetter Podcast, go go Mo's in the house. Here we go. We got a little shorty here. Uh Mo's been reading my Substack. One of my subscribers. Not paid, but that's okay.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

I'll get there.

SPEAKER_02 0:53

I'll get him up there. I think he has an inside scoop of what I'm writing. And uh one of the topics in in the articles was basically who are you without the thing that you've built? And you thought it was interesting for what hit the most for you? What was the one question that got you going?

SPEAKER_00 1:16

When you build the thing that you build, that becomes your identity. You were walking around after the business was taken from you and not sold, and people just kept, hey, you're the Tessie Mays guy. Hey, there's the Tessie Mays guy. Yeah. You're the Tessie Mays guy. So you you did all that work and you became the Tessie Mays guy, and when all that left and dropped off and burned in a fiery blaze, like you like to call it. Yeah, you just kept on getting that that pass thrown back at you in your face. But then on the flip side, when you were at the dinner table, you said your kids didn't see any of that. The only questions you got from your kids were, hey dad, are you coming to my basketball game? Hey dad, do you want to go outside and play some catch? Yep. And then you found out like that's who you've really been all the time. Yeah. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

Yeah. Well, one of the reasons I wrote the first book, Undressed, was exactly one of those moments I was at a party.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

Some guy walks up and was like, Oh my god, Tessie May is that's my favorite shit, dude. I heard you guys exited out of that business. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 2:37

And I just like looked at him, just kind of like listened, didn't really interrupt him, didn't know what to say, didn't want to ruin the energy or vibes of the party, and just kind of took it all in. And I was driving home and I'm like, people think I fucking exited this thing and like made 500 million bucks or something. Like they don't know the details, they just hear Greg and his brothers sold Tessie Mays, so it must be for a shitload of money. And I'm like, I don't want to live that lie at all. I'm like, I need to set the fucking record straight. Like, yeah, I built this thing, but like it didn't end well. So like I'm not the fucking Tessie Mays guy. But also the identity side of like, oh my God, you're the Tessie Mays guy, and this happens with athletes all the time. You're the greatest, you know, NFL running back, you're an NFL wide receiver, you're the greatest NBA, whatever, whatever, whatever. And then it ends, and then they're nothing. And after they retire, right, and they have this massive identity crisis because the thing that defined them forever is no longer in existence. And I think the greatest part about building something so big while being a dad of young kids, I always had this kind of paradox where it's like you're this thing over here, and then you come home, and they don't give a shit. Are you home? Are you paying attention? Are we going outside? Are you taking me to practice? Can we watch a show? I don't want to go to bed, I don't want to eat that. Can we have ice cream? Can we do this? Can we do that? And they just want you. And so it made me think deeper about probably when I was younger. Who was I before all of this? Who was I before college lacrosse and professional lacrosse? And who was I before chasing the American dream and building this thing? And who was I before I lost it? And am I still that person, or has something changed along the way? And I think it's just an interesting exercise because everybody today associates their identity with the shit that they do or what their job is. You know, I'm in commercial real estate. Well, I don't care. Right. What are you actually fucking interested in? Yeah, like what are your hobbies? Who are you? I don't even need your hobbies. Like, what what do you think's funny? What are your views on the world? What you know, I think it's interesting, and I don't know if this is true, but one of the interviewing questions at Google or Facebook or some dumb shit is like, what's one belief that you believe that nobody else in the world believes? Oh, I had to think about it. Oh, I got 500. Like, don't even get me started.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

I'm on the world.

SPEAKER_02 6:08

I'm like, I'm on the fucking fringes, dude. Yeah, I don't. And so, but going back to this whole thing of identity, it's like, well, that's who I am. I'm curious. Um I'm looking for the writing in between the lines. I'm looking for patterns that aren't there. I'm looking to invent something that hasn't been invented before. I'm looking to take the path less traveled. I'm looking to have a meaningful life. I'm looking for a fully optimal existence while I'm on this planet. Um I want to get deeply philosophical on shit and think in ways that people haven't thought before. You know, like I want to see how healthy I can be. I want to see how strong I can be. I want to see how good of a dad I can be. I want to see, you know, what can I turn this farm into? What ideas can I can create? What books can I write? What impact can I have on the world? And then I want to do it. I just don't want to think about it. I want to take action. I'm I'm a high activation motherfucker.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

And you had time to think about this, as you said in the article. You didn't start a business right away after you uh Tessie may have fell off. You you kind of had some time to sit and walk around the farm, you said, and just think like, who am I? And then you forward or progress and you talk about the the uh founder's trap when most people they stop one thing and then they just immediately jump into something else, like no break in between. So they really never have time to find out who they are. Can you speak on the founder's trap?

SPEAKER_02 8:00

Well, I think it's just it's the identity situation. Their identity is the founder, and so if you're busy creating stuff, you don't really have to talk about your most recent failure. If you got a new win. It's like sports, you're only as good as your last game. Well, if your last game was a fucking epic dumpster fire, you better get to that next game pretty quick, and that better be good, so that you can point to, yeah, I know that sucked, but take a look, take a look at this. And then I also think uh being overly busy is a wonderful addiction and a crutch, you know, distractions, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

Because a positive distraction, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

Well, it depends, right? It depends on how busy you are, right? Because Colin Powell said it, busy bastards, you know, they'll take an organization down from the inside out just by fucking doing dumb shit. So I I wanted to be methodical and thoughtful about what I was getting into and why, and I wanted to make sure I wasn't just getting into something so that I could be busy. I wanted to be getting into something that I was interested in, and I wanted to I wanted to see what came my way in the process.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

So is this something that all entrepreneurs have to look out for? And how do they look out for? And is this a bad thing or a good thing, or just something that's gonna come along with uh being an entrepreneur?

SPEAKER_02 9:44

I think it's something that's just gonna come along with life, right? Uh entrepreneurship and people being entrepreneurs or not. I mean, we used to just call them business owners. Like we made this word very mysterious and sexy and fancy of nobody even knows how to fucking spell it.

SPEAKER_00 10:08

That's funny because I just was talking to my goddaughter who got into the Honor Society, and she just told me she is taking a class at uh AACC for to be an entrepreneur because she's gonna start her fashion brand. Uh-huh. And I told her, I said, I work on an entrepreneur podcast. So yeah, uh, you know, um, we need we should look, that should just be another segment where we look up where the word entrepreneur came from and when did it start being yeah, I bet Google Analytics or ChatGPT has some data points on just like the massive increase in use.

SPEAKER_02 10:51

Right. It had to be around 2005-ish. I feel like that's when I just started hearing motherfuckers say that every every other word. Um, but yeah, I think founders and business owners and everything else, there is this need to find the next thing. And when you have a habit of hard work, high activation, problem solving, you know, that's where your kind of cortisol spikes are coming from and your dopamine spikes are coming from, you have like a normal physiological reaction to that type of pace in life. That's where you're comfortable at. That's where you're comfortable. And so if you don't have that and you're used to that type of activity and environment, um, you're gonna be very restless walking around a farm trying to figure out what the fuck you're gonna do with your life. Uh, I think my biggest fear was that I was just gonna be a one-hit wonder, where first one was total luck, and then nothing else was gonna come my way. And in reality, in reflecting and writing that book, I realized that I had created the buzz. I had willed my way into existence. The buzz was created by the energy that we created, and we forced that brand into success. Now it was great, the quality was phenomenal. We invented clean manufacturing, it was all wonderful. But umce I realized it wasn't luck, then I kind of opened myself up to receive whatever the next venture was gonna be or the next opportunity. So I think that that's really necessary because when you're used to solving massive problems on a global scale, on a daily basis, and then you go to nothing, you immediately want to put your resources and your skills to use as fast as possible. Um, and I don't, you know, I guess the same thing would be dating. Like, you don't want to break up with a girl and then get a girlfriend the next day. Yeah. Right? Like nobody gives that advice to their friend. You you break up with somebody and you go, hey man, why don't you think about what worked and what didn't work? Why don't you go on some dates? Why don't you go figure out what you actually like? Why don't you go have some experiences? And then if the right one comes, you'll know. Yeah. And I think the same thing is true uh with business.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

All right. Well, I like the way that sounds. Um that was a quick segment. That's a little quickie there. Yeah, it was.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

Do you anything you want to record? The new pot, the quickie division.

SPEAKER_00 14:00

That's our new, our new hit.

SPEAKER_02 14:01

Let's go. New quick one. Hit it and quit it. Boom. This was the Greg Better Podcast, the new quickie division with Gogo Mo. Throwing it back to how he rolls in the sheets. See ya. And then I pointed at the camera.