Show Me Your Spouse and I'll Show You Your Future

Wife of a CEO? Start Here.

Everybody wants to talk about entrepreneurship.

Very few people talk about the person waiting at home.

In this episode, Greg and Moe dive into one of the most important decisions you'll ever make:

Who you choose as your partner.

Because the truth is, your spouse can either become a force multiplier for your life… or friction for every dream you're trying to build.

Greg shares lessons from building businesses, raising a family, navigating hard seasons, and why he believes you can often predict a person's future by looking at the relationship they're building at home.

They discuss:

• Why alignment matters more than attraction
• The hidden role spouses play in entrepreneurial success
• How supportive partners help people survive difficult seasons
• Why shared values matter more than shared interests
• The difference between love at 25 and love at 45
• Parenting, discipline, and creating a united front
• Why the strongest marriages are built on mutual respect, not convenience
• How the right partner fills in your blind spots
• And why success means very little if you have nobody meaningful to share it with

Greg also shares stories from his own marriage, the hardest moments of the Tessemae's journey, and how a great spouse isn't someone who tells you what you want to hear—it's someone willing to tell you what you need to hear.

Because eventually, every entrepreneur, leader, parent, and dreamer runs into adversity.

And when that happens, who you're standing next to matters.

A lot.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:02

And if you look back on a pretty wild life, if you had to start boiling some stuff down for people, what are the takeaways when you look back and you go, I'm really glad we did this thing, or this we did wrong, or we never should have done it?

SPEAKER_00 0:20

I started to think about what are the things that kept us grounded, like us having our faith was probably the most pivotal piece of all of it because it helped us know that we were more than just the identity of business owners. We're not defined by the success of it, and the failure of it isn't gonna destroy us, and we can stay focused on what matters the most, which is family over everything. And I think that's one of the themes that was carried through from the very beginning. And that enabled us to just choose that North Star when times were tough.

SPEAKER_04 1:07

We have a special guest per request from Michelle and Bethesda.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Hi, Michelle.

SPEAKER_04 1:16

She wanted to hear Genevieve's perspective on our journey, not only with Tessie Mays, but with life and kids and marriage and stress and building something from nothing together, and all of the different tactics and strategies that we try to use. And so I am happy to have for the first time number four on your rosters, number one in your heart, Genevieve Vetter. Welcome, my wife.

SPEAKER_00 1:56

Hi, happy to be here.

SPEAKER_04 1:58

Hi. All right, so we met in 2003. In the year 2000, and everybody knows the story, but I will reiterate it. I was selling insurance, you were in staffing, we were living in a little townhouse in Annapolis. A neighbor broke into my house, our house, and stole the salad dressing. I called you to see if you had taken the salad dressing to work. You were sitting in your cubicle as I'm asking you all of these questions of, did you take it? And you're like, I don't know, Greg. Open your eyes and look. And then I called you back and I'm like, hey, our neighbor stole it. I'm gonna start a salad dressing company. And I thought you were gonna be like, that is dumb. That is a stupid idea. And you said, That's the greatest idea I've ever heard. I just have a weird feeling that it's gonna work. So that began a wild journey of us starting a salad dressing brand and building it into the number one organic salad dressing brand in the country. You held multiple roles in that as an original founder, um, chief operating officer for a while, then we had some kids, then you came back and were our chief brand officer for a while.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:31

Then we had some more kids. Um, but obviously, all the while you have been there every step of the way. And I wrote a really, I thought, interesting article on Substack about um the role and the toll that it takes on a spouse of a founder and the stress that they endure. Um, even though they're not in the fight, they're always still in the fight, as I'm sure you will get to. Um, but we posted something on Instagram and it said, hey, let us know what um topics that you want to hear on the podcast. And we actually got a bunch of really great ideas. We're gonna do all of them. One of which was, I want to hear your wife's perspective on life and raising kids and how you were able to manage high growth, aggressive stress. What did we do right? What did we do wrong? And so this is just simply gonna be an open-ended conversation. We'll see where it goes. Genevieve, thank you for being here.

SPEAKER_00 4:51

Thank you for having me. I think the one title you left off was Wifey, which was my official email address at Tussy Maze, was wifey at Tusty Maze.com.

SPEAKER_05 5:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:01

Most important role. And uh, and so I just wanted to call that out.

SPEAKER_04 5:07

So as you look back on a pretty wild life that we've had. You were 19, I was 20, you lied to me and told me that you were older than me.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

I knew you were the kind of guy that wouldn't date an older woman. I just wanted to mess with you.

SPEAKER_04 5:29

Yeah. Well, she's like, I'm like, hey, how old are you? And you're like 21. And I was like, oh, really? Older woman by a year. I don't know about all that. You're like, just kidding, I'm 19. Which I I don't know if I've ever verified that. So maybe you are older than me, and I just don't know. You look better than me.

unknown 5:48

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 5:49

Shout out to completely natural, beautiful face.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 5:54

No work ever done. Lots of water, lots of water. Um, talk to me about as you look back, what are some of the main critical takeaways that we did as husband wife that allowed us one to still be together today happily, at least I think we are. And then being able to raise four magnificent children that love us, which is its own unbelievable win. But like if you had to start boiling some stuff down to digestible tidbits for people that are either in a very aggressive business or thinking about starting something, you know, what are the takeaways when you look back and you go, I'm really glad we did this thing, or this we did wrong, or we never should have done it.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

Yeah, you know, I've I've been thinking about reflecting on the journey and listening to your podcasts. And when you had said that this individual wanted my perspective on it, I started to think about what are the the things that kept us grounded through all of it. And I would say when I look back, like us having our faith was probably the most pivotal piece of all of it because it helped us know that we were more than just the identity of business owners. And so it allowed us to say we're not defined by the success of it, and the failure of it isn't going to destroy us, and we can stay focused on what matters the most, which was family over everything. And I think that's one of the themes that was carried through from the very beginning. It was three brothers and a mother was that jingle and a wifey and director of good karma was your dad. And so that kind of enabled us to just choose that North Star when times were tough.

SPEAKER_05 8:18

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

And so I think that that was um just such a big foundation for us that we had that we could grab a hold of.

SPEAKER_04 8:28

What do you think about from a kid's perspective? What did we do really well during the chaos of all of that to keep them kind of not only grounded, but in the center of our lives so that they weren't dealing with the chaos of what we were dealing with? Like, how did you do that as a mom?

SPEAKER_00 8:52

Yeah, I mean, I think because I wake up and choose joy. Like I'm a bloom where I'm planted type of gal. So if we say, hey, this is what we're doing right now, we're in Tessie Maze and there's highs and there's lows, I still love that journey. I still love what we're doing at that moment in time because that was my role was to support you and support what our dream was. And so even through bad days and good days, I was joyful through, I think, a lot of it. And because of that, I could say that our kids' happiness was the most important thing. It didn't matter how much was in our bank account, it didn't matter what stress was coming to us that day. I woke up excited and grateful that I got to be a mom and got to be married to you and got to have the opportunity to embark on this, you know, trailblazing company that we said we we thought the world was being set on fire by salad dressing.

SPEAKER_04 10:00

Yeah. Well, it was for a while.

SPEAKER_00 10:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:03

Um health. You look great.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 10:09

I'm not gonna say your age, we'll let people guess. But you life takes a lot out of people, generally speaking, and you chose to not numb any of it and kind of face it head on. What advice or recommendations do you have for people in terms of aging gracefully, staying grounded, and um maintaining perspective through it all? Because I think you've done a really great job of dealing with my bullshit, having four kids, dealing with external chaos that I'm not sure a lot of people would be able to handle and deal with because their value systems are different. But if you had to say, like, these are the things that I did that really helped me stay grounded and stay healthy through all of it. What what do you think those are for you?

SPEAKER_00 11:16

I think the first thing that comes to mind for me is just your mindset. Um there was a book I had a friend recommend called The Choice by Edith Edna.

SPEAKER_04 11:28

And good book.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

Great book.

SPEAKER_04 11:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:32

Talks about the You had me read it.

SPEAKER_04 11:34

It's very good.

SPEAKER_00 11:35

I had you read it. Um, my good friend Kim recommended it to me. And you know, the theme of the book is you can't control the outcome, but you can control how you respond to the circumstances.

SPEAKER_04 11:46

You she was a student of Victor Frankel, which is like the all-time G.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

The all-time. And so you have control over how you respond. Yeah. And I would say that I just always responded with, I can go to the moon and back, I can do this. A no-quit attitude and look how you want to feel. And I would say, I, you know, I I I've said that to some friends over the years, you know, look how you want to feel, bright eyed and bushy tail. If you want to look awake, these are the things you do. You know, I could sit here and say, have your lemon water, have a little bit of olive oil in your in your water and whatnot. But I would say it's your outlook. And um, and if I can sit there and say, I'm gonna control how I'm responding to these circumstances and I'm not gonna be defined by them, then I think that really affects your health overall. And I can look more useful than what I've been through. I think I've been through so many things in my life at the ripe age of 42.

SPEAKER_04 12:58

And it's shocking how good you look. And I'm not saying that because you're my wife. If you looked like shit, I just wouldn't say it. But you are aging like you should your skin should be studied.

SPEAKER_00 13:11

Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_04 13:12

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

But yeah, I think just being true to yourself, understanding what your goals are when you strip them down, and it can't be this big long list. And so I think that I just paid attention to what mattered to me. And I think you have that thing that you write down at the top of your book every day. And what is it?

SPEAKER_04 13:34

Right now it's and it's been like that for a while, but are my habits today on par with my dreams for tomorrow?

SPEAKER_00 13:40

Yeah, and so I don't always hit, you know, 10 out of 10 on the best habits that I want to achieve every single day.

SPEAKER_04 13:49

Nobody does.

SPEAKER_00 13:50

But I nail my most important ones, and that is gratitude. Yeah, leading with a grateful heart. I've always done that.

SPEAKER_03 14:00

You have.

SPEAKER_00 14:00

And I it's one of those things that I think we've to go back to the kids, like teaching them the art of gratitude and how that affects your life overall, having a strong faith, um, loving being married to you, loving being a mom. Full-time, full-time job, full-time job, loving being a mom, and um just being excited that we can live this life every single day.

SPEAKER_04 14:27

And I will also say you are a based bitch, as the greatest compliment of all time. Like you know what you mean. Well, you were, I mean, you were the OG grounded hardcore. I don't give a fuck what anybody said. You never participated in any of these fickle social trends that came and went. You were just like, nah, dog, this is how I view the world. This is what we're gonna care about, we are gonna give gratitude, we're eating clean. And I will say a lot of it evolved as we got more information. But when I think about meeting meeting you in college, you know, some people go to college and they're like, oh my God, I met this, you know, crazy, wild, free spirit who's worshiping crystals and has all. I'm like, my wild meeting experience was like meeting this grounded, hardcore, conservative, beautiful brunette who just did not. I remember I'd be like, yeah, well, I hear my views on this. You're like, no. You're like, uh-uh, no, I don't that that ain't that's not gonna last. That's not how we roll. And I just really remember being like, this woman knows her shit and is unwavering in her shit. Um, which you have continued to to be, and I would say open my eyes, which then allowed us to have really a common standard of excellence for our kids that that was aligned. Like we're very aligned with what we care about.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

That makes it easy.

SPEAKER_04 16:25

There's some variances there, which I think you know you love risk. I love it, and you hate it, and I love change and you hate it, and you follow rules, and I don't follow any rules, and so there is, you know, some differences there, but that's the spice of life, I would say. Um but in the grand scheme of being able to be successful as a unit, I think you recognized in me what I was capable of, and then you gave me the go ahead with your support to go and do it, which I don't think happens a lot. You know, we did um a podcast on show me your partner and I'll tell you whether or not you're gonna be successful in life. Because I mean, we can think back on how many people quit or got fired, and it's like you met their spouse, and you're like, oh my God, this is not gonna last. Like this person does not have a support system at home, and I don't care what goals you're going after. And the joke I've been using recently is the um Rory McLaroy golfer who his wife tried to leave him. I think they're now still together, but she said he played golf too much. You're like, Yeah, you married a top three golfer in the world. Yeah. What are you fucking talking about? Um, and you've you always did the opposite, which was like, hey, Greg, you have skills in these areas and gifts, and you need to go give them to the world. And let's figure out how to do that. And I think that that has always been unbelievably helpful when we're going to build the life that we want, not only for each other, but for our kids and our future grandchildren and our siblings. And I also think the leading by example thing, you're an oldest sibling, I'm an oldest sibling. I also think that has been really helpful. I don't know why. Bonding patterns or views of the world. Um, but that has really helped. I think that's helped us kind of maintain the correct alignment as we've, you know, gone to the moon and back 25 times. I don't know how many times we've fucking done it. Um talk to me about the management of stress.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

Management is a funny word because it is revisited nonstop. I mean, just the stress of when you're in the business and building the business, and you're so excited, and there's this like cortisol response of just go, go, go. There's that stress you don't even really realize is stress at that moment that catches up with you. And then you hit your lows, and that stress feels insurmountable. I think one of the biggest pieces of stress for me in the journey of building Tessie Maze, the fall of Tessie Mays, and then what we've been doing now after is seeing the person you love the most carry the stress that you carry. That was a whole different level of stress for me.

SPEAKER_05 20:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

And me wanting to protect our family unit as you try to protect the thing that we built for our family. And so I took that role on of okay, how do I manage him managing his stress?

SPEAKER_03 20:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:35

And it became something that honestly became out of my control. And I had to sit back and and really come to a stop and say, this is this is something I can't continue to do. And we've got to just focus on making sure that the family is good because that's who we've built the business for. And so uh I would say managing stress for me has been a full-time job at times, making sure that it didn't affect my health. You know, I went through Lyme's disease during this journey.

SPEAKER_02 21:12

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

And trying to make sure that I could continue to show up the way that I wanted to for our family and our children and our life, the business. And I think that ultimately gratitude, like I said, it's played a huge role on managing the stress because being grateful in the moments where your stress is so thick and you can't see through it sometimes. And you just use those couple of brain shifters, or whatever what do you call those? The spirit shifters, secret shifters, secret shifters, uh to combat that stress. You know, the only way out is through. And I think so many different times of this journey as somebody that loves control. I know. I'm gonna say it. I love it. Um, I've had to realize, you know, I've had to let go. I've had to let go. And that has been This is you letting go. Me saying it right now on this podcast. Um, letting go has been a big way to tackle the stress, realizing I'm not in control of the outcome.

SPEAKER_04 22:23

Eckert Toll's book, The Power of Now, his hilarious voice echoes in my head of what problems do you have right now?

SPEAKER_03 22:37

This very second.

SPEAKER_04 22:39

And you're like, well, none right now. Right. But that's an interesting thing of letting go. All of our problems are either in the future, things that are rolling through our fucking head a hundred million times a day, or it's all of the it's not anxiety, but it's like all of the shame or pain from everything that happened. And then you carry all of those behaviors and experiences forward, and you try and not make the same mistake twice, or at least this is me now, and it hardens you. And I think you always do a really great job with me, specifically, of reminding me how hardened I've become. And like you'll point out little moments in our kids, and you're like, hey, you used to be like that. Hey, you used to sing like that or smile like that, and it's not a slight, and you're not obviously you're not trying to be a bitch about it.

SPEAKER_01 23:51

I know, sorry.

SPEAKER_04 23:52

No, you're not, but it what it does is it reminds me of like, yeah, you're right. And maybe I'm being too protected, and I'm being too much of a motherfucker because of what we've gone through. Because it is hard where you've been burned at such a deep level, and it and they weren't accidental burns, they were strategic. They knew what they were doing, we brought it to their attention, they looked us in the eyes after knowing us for years, and said, No, I'm gonna burn your fucking life to the ground. That's tough. And remaining jovial through all of that, or remaining, you know, lighthearted or free-spirited or whatever the fuck you want to say, that is something I'm still working on. But you do a great job balancing me, and I th I think I do a great job balancing you in little moments for our kids that when we combine, similar to Captain Planet, when our powers combine, um, we've created a life for them that's magnificent. They're happy, they're healthy, they have two parents that love them. We keep perspective, we explain to them what matters in the world, and we're trying to give them the habits and the belief system to teach them that they can go to the moon and back every day. And I think we do a good job of kind of creating the necessary adversity for them to overcome so that we're not raising a bunch of weak links. Because the only thing I can say about how we've been able to maintain health and happiness and the and the life that that we've had is we overcame a bunch of shit when we were younger that gave us the roadmap of, and again, different roadmaps, but um, that gave us the roadmap for saying you can persevere, you can endure, it's hard right now, you don't know what tomorrow's gonna bring. And your job every day is to do everything you can in your ability with I love the Friday night lights, you know, uh clear eyes and a full heart can't lose. That's what you need every day. You need clear eyes and a full heart, and I think we teach our kids that. You know, like you gotta write your goals down at night, and you gotta pray, and you gotta give gratitude, and you gotta eat right. And whatever your goals are, I don't give a shit what they are. You gotta take action every single day to move towards them because that is actually how you build the character required to be the person that you want to be. It's not so much the accomplishment of the thing, it is the ability and the skills and the toughness and the person you become in trying to accomplish the thing.

SPEAKER_00 27:25

Yeah, and I think embracing adversity. Yeah, I'm definitely no stranger to it. Had it since I was 13. Yeah. My parents divorced. And I think there's something that goes, you know, when they say when you swim against the tide.

SPEAKER_04 27:43

Yeah, yeah, we're swimming upstream.

SPEAKER_00 27:45

Swimming upstream. And I can never get those sayings right, but swimming upstream.

SPEAKER_04 27:51

That's what I'm here for.

SPEAKER_00 27:52

Yeah, balance. Uh, and so, you know, swimming upstream, if you embrace the adversity, then you realize, you know, oh, I may not be feeling myself. I'm so stressed right now. And instead of falling victimhood, you know, falling to victimhood and saying, Oh, I'm so stressed. This is what's happening, this is my negative.

SPEAKER_04 28:10

Whoa, it's me. Everybody is out to get me.

SPEAKER_00 28:13

I've been there. I've done that.

SPEAKER_04 28:14

Everybody does.

SPEAKER_00 28:15

But to just sit there and say, you know what? Maybe I'm not feeling myself because I'm growing. Maybe this is my growing season right now. And when you're growing, as in middle school, it's it's not always pretty.

SPEAKER_04 28:30

Hell no. And so I wore husky jeans.

SPEAKER_00 28:34

I had braces and acne. But, you know, deciding that you're gonna embrace the adversity, you're going to get a strong perseverance muscle. And then, but the flip side is reminding yourself don't let that be your only muscle. Don't let yourself be defined by being strong because you got yourself through all of those hard times. There's other people in your journey. There's there's lessons that you've learned. You've become a completely entirely different person.

SPEAKER_04 29:06

You do a good job of when we're making family decisions. You go, are we going on the road less traveled because that's the only thing we like to do? Or is this the right decision? And I think that that's a really great question to ask as a general rule of thumb. Another great question when you're evaluating people or situations is what am I choosing to ignore about this situation? But you'll ask that and we'll look at it and we'll go, This is the right decision. It is the road less traveled. We are going to be swimming upstream for a little bit, but this is the correct decision for our family. And I think it's good awareness for parents. I wrote an article on Substack about are you willing to drive for your dreams? I saw it. Um I think you're my only follower. No, I'm kidding.

SPEAKER_00 30:09

And I'm like, that was a good one.

SPEAKER_04 30:11

Well, I had a bunch of people reach out because everybody says the same shit. Oh my god, you're gonna drive here for this thing? Yeah, bitch, I am. Because this is the right decision.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

Well, and it's the gift of time.

SPEAKER_04 30:29

And I'm willing to commit that time because here's the other thing. When you're driving, and it this is kind of a paradigm shift of the evil commute, you're with your fucking kids.

SPEAKER_00 30:43

Right.

SPEAKER_04 30:44

You have them in your car. And if you're disciplined enough to not let them look at a device, that's uninterrupted talking time, music listening time, dinner date time after practices. I mean, we're driving all over the world, and I don't view it as, oh my God, I gotta drive to this place. I'm like, I get to have an hour-long conversation with my kids. Then I'll get some work done in the car while they're at practice and we'll go on a date. I'm I'm living it up. Now, sometimes it's tiring. You know, like yesterday's travel day was annoying. There's a lot of traffic for whatever reason. I mean, in every direction. And I didn't think negatively of it. But this goes back to our mindset of remaining positive, giving gratitude, looking at the glass half full, um, which I had a funny situation happen to me. This is like a couple years ago, and I'm sitting there with like five guys, and everybody had a beer, and everybody's drink was half consumed. So one guy goes, I'm gonna go get another beer. Does anybody need one? I go, No, I'm good, I'm half full. And everybody else goes, Yeah, I need one. I'm I'm half empty. And the guy literally called out, he goes, Whoa. This is the greatest moment of like where your mind is on the world.

SPEAKER_00 32:29

Right.

SPEAKER_04 32:30

And I I would say our family, you and me, we're teaching the kids how to do it. It's half full. You have been given gifts. This is your life. Your life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Whatever you choose for it to be, it will be. It ain't gonna be easy. That's part of the beauty. So shut the fuck up, put a smile on your face, and give thanks that you have the opportunity today to go to practice. Give thanks that you have the opportunity to go to a great school. I don't want to hear that I don't want to go train with the best trainer in the world. It's like, oh hell no. I didn't have my first private training session.

SPEAKER_00 33:23

Was it Jay Dyer?

SPEAKER_04 33:25

No, it was getting in shape.

SPEAKER_00 33:29

Oh, the tennis coach at Whack.

SPEAKER_04 33:32

No, that I didn't count that. My first training lifting session was after college training for the Bayhawks. Dan Ingram, I believe, Ohio State.

SPEAKER_00 33:46

Nice.

SPEAKER_04 33:47

Yeah, hell yeah. Shout out to my boy. I think he's still out there. But he got me in shape to make the Bayhawks. And I was 23, 24. And it's like, dude, you're our kids are 10 to 15, and they're lifting with one of the best strength coaches in the world.

SPEAKER_00 34:10

Brian Morrison.

SPEAKER_04 34:11

Yeah. Shout out. But it's like, shut your fucking mouth. This is a gift. You have no idea what I wanted. Like when I was a kid, I loved my parents. I had the best childhood ever in terms of love from a two-parent household. I got no qualms about that shit at all. But like I wanted more, I wanted more. I wanted to be elite. And I just never really had the resources to be that. And maybe it was the time and place, right? Like that's we're talking about the 80s and the 90s. Like nobody was going to a strength coach back then. But like those were the things I want. I wanted to be bigger and faster and stronger. And we just now we didn't have the money for it. And so we there is no tolerance in our home for that type of uh lack of gratitude, I would say.

SPEAKER_00 35:08

Or like a culture of complaining.

SPEAKER_04 35:10

We do not have we do not go for support a culture of complaining. Hell no.

SPEAKER_00 35:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:15

Well, I think again, we're a great complement of we're generally aligned on most things. The rest creates balance, right? You love control, you love rules, you don't like change, you don't like risk. I'm the opposite. Uh, but the rest were we're totally aligned. And I think it promotes the type of behaviors that I think will build very successful, effective humans. And I think you're aligned there too. Um let's go back to like the chaos of running a large business while being parents and being married. What do you think the main thing that we did because like we were working together all day and then we're going home and we're taking care of our kids, and then we're working until the wee hours of the evening. And what do you think the one thing, if you had to give a suggestion to somebody on how to maintain balance, what do you think that would be for somebody going through something similar?

SPEAKER_00 36:41

Two things come to mind. One was Richie Pettibone, shout out, shout out to Richie Pettibone, Pettibone Alarm.

SPEAKER_04 36:50

And you're like a walking advertiser.

SPEAKER_00 36:54

You know, I love it. Uh so he told us about date night. Non-negotiable, gotta have date night. And I remember you making a budget in the early days of Tessie Mays.

SPEAKER_04 37:08

Because you wanted it.

SPEAKER_00 37:09

I love budgets. And on it, you had as a line item date night, so I keep my marriage. And I remember you sending that over. And uh, and it was probably, you know, a hundred bucks.

unknown 37:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:26

And um, and so we we were pretty religious, I would say, about our date nights through through those years. And I think that gave us an opportunity to, we probably always started out talking a little bit about work or kids, but as the evening carried through, we remembered we were dating each other.

SPEAKER_04 37:45

That's because I was drinking.

SPEAKER_00 37:48

And so I think it was important because we got to just remember, like, oh yeah, hi, you know, yeah, you're the guy that I fell in love with at college. You're not just the Yeah, you're still hot.

SPEAKER_04 37:58

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:59

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 38:00

Um that was helpful though. It still is.

SPEAKER_00 38:03

It does help.

SPEAKER_04 38:04

Um if you were ugly and fat, oh I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 38:08

Okay. Well, the other thing that I would say is maybe humor should be in there.

SPEAKER_04 38:14

Yeah, it definitely should.

SPEAKER_00 38:15

You being funny definitely helps. Uh I would say our walks, we've always walked.

SPEAKER_04 38:21

And I think even morning walks.

SPEAKER_00 38:24

Morning walks. Yeah. Even when you're stressed, you're mad, you may fight at the beginning of it, one of us walks in the other direction. We we always end up walking back. And so, um, and so I would say that was a big piece of it. And then uh, I guess the last thing I know I said too, but I always wrote you cards. And so you had that card wall.

SPEAKER_05 38:47

Yeah. I did.

SPEAKER_00 38:48

And that was a practice for you, which was authentic. I wanted to give you those gifts of cards. Um, even when we didn't have a lot of money to be able to give you anything else, I could always give you a card. But I thought that if I look back, it was really a practice of gratitude too.

SPEAKER_02 39:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:04

You know, where I could sit there and be like, I get to write this person that I love, that's also the CEO of my life, uh, a card and let them know that I'm proud of him. I see him, I see his dream, and I'm here and I and and I'm here for the long haul.

SPEAKER_05 39:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:23

I also think there we've done a good job of playing the long game. Like, even when things get hard, even when we're not aligned temporarily, we're always playing the long game of I mean, we're fucking in it for the long haul. Like, what are we what are we fighting for? What are we gonna argue forever? And we have a good complete reset, which is Are we at a hundred? Yeah. If you say, like, what is the percentage of good you are with me right now? Uh-huh. Uh, and sometimes it'll be 40. And you're like, no, I'm not leaving until we're at a hundred. But then if you say we're at a hundred, you can't say there's any issues past that point.

SPEAKER_00 40:22

Yeah. It's a commitment.

SPEAKER_04 40:24

It's a commitment. If you say we're at a hundred, then there's nothing to say after. Yeah. Which is funny because not to give a call out to one of our arguments. I don't know when it was, but you go, I go, are we at a hundred? You go, yeah. And then you kept going. I'm like, I'm not sure what you're talking about because you said we're at a hundred. So whatever you're saying, just irrelevant. It doesn't mean anything to me because we're at a hundred. You said we're at a hundred. So I don't, I'm not sure what you're saying. And you laughed and we moved we moved on. But I do think there is it's interesting in terms of some metric of like, all right, where are we actually at? Are we at 90? And there's like another 10 points of resentment here that we need to get through. But if you say we're at 100, we're at 100. So you need to move on.

SPEAKER_00 41:17

Yeah. And I mean, not to sound cliche, but we don't go to bed mad. Mostly because I don't let you go to bed mad and I'll turn the lights back on, even if you put your mouth tape and nose trip on, and I'm like, nope, the light is on. We are not going to bed mad. We are talking about this, even if I'm the only one talking. And then I'm like, perfect, we're at 100 tonight.

SPEAKER_04 41:38

That's good.

SPEAKER_00 41:40

Yeah. And I I would also say that we have always, maybe not at first, but I think we've always committed to the fact that we know what we know and we know what we don't know.

SPEAKER_02 41:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:52

And so we definitely have come across confident in in times where we weren't sure like how things would go. But we surrounded ourselves with the the people that we thought would be the right people to be surrounded around at the time.

SPEAKER_02 42:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:12

And we also, I think, have really taken that old adage of you're the sum of the five people that you hang around. And so if you do have some people that are still hanging around that aren't where you need them to be, it's either grow and evolve and get to where you need to be to be in our circle of, you know, we've got a tight circle. I think one thing I've I always was surprised by with you is you've got such a laser focus, positive intensity, so laser focused. I am smelling flowers all around and having finding four leaf clovers.

SPEAKER_04 42:52

I found 10. I'm like, I still have not found one.

SPEAKER_00 42:55

A smidge of ADHD. And uh, and I think that I have taken on that trait of, you know, that laser focus on what matters to us with our family. And that, yeah, there's gonna be people that that let you down, there's gonna be people that judge you. I mean, we've been through so much, um, so many highs and lows publicly too in the community. Uh, and it just never really shook me to my core because I knew what our truth was. I knew that we lived our life with good core values, and I think that reduced a lot of stress, just knowing that um knowing the direction that we were going in.

SPEAKER_02 43:44

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 43:46

Yeah, for sure. I mean, it really it's like everything else, it is a daily commitment to each other. Our family, our faith, gratitude, staying grounded, finding perspective. But it is one of these things where you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. And all of that influences the decisions and the actions that you take in your perspective of the world. And we've experienced this firsthand, which is you're always one decision away from a completely different life. And we have watched people and families crumble because they made the wrong decision on a bad day and then they committed to it. And maybe it was the five people they were spending the most time with. Maybe it was something else. But when you're playing the long game and you can maintain perspective and stay grounded and look around and have gratitude for your beautiful children and the things that really matter, the four things money can't buy: your soul, your time, your health, and your children's love. We'll throw wife's love in there because she's here too. Um, if you weave your life and goals through that, you're probably gonna be grounded. You're probably gonna have perspective. You're probably not gonna be surrounding yourself with pieces of shit or putting yourself in situations that you don't want to be in. And as we have it it's funny because you've always had kind of grounded holistic goals. I've always had extreme achievement-based goals. We we find something in the middle. Um but the the further along we get in our lives, the more my goals are closer to your original goals, which are just very simple.

SPEAKER_01 46:32

I want you to be happy. I want you to be happy, I want to live on a farm, I want to pick flowers.

SPEAKER_04 46:40

And it's like, no, that's actually what I want to fucking do.

SPEAKER_00 46:43

Well, yeah, that's the definition of wealth to me is your health and happiness.

SPEAKER_04 46:47

Yeah. And so it's like, I want to go on a walk with nice weather.

SPEAKER_00 46:52

But just because it's basic doesn't mean it's not hard to achieve and get. Well, it's the hardest. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:58

It is the hardest. Having calm perspective in the middle of a shit storm, that is an art. That is some samurai type shit.

SPEAKER_00 47:14

Yeah, I think too, one thing that has really helped me in terms of my being grateful for the position that I'm in despite whatever's coming our way, is I know what my value is, I know what my worth is, I know what my identity is, who my identity is, whatever, however you want to say it. Uh, because it's all grounded in my faith. It's grounded in, you know, I'm here to, I'm, I'm loving being your wife. I'm loving being the mother of my children. I'm I am, you know, deeply passionate about my faith. And so there's not a lot that can rock me, as uh Coach Sanders says, You didn't make me, so you can't break me.

SPEAKER_04 48:11

You love Dion. Shout out to Dion.

SPEAKER_00 48:14

Um, but when you peel it away like that, it really is pretty simple.

SPEAKER_04 48:19

And I think it's very simple, and we've we've made it so complicated that no one can can see clearly at all about anything that matters. And we spend our time addicted to devices and addicted to social media and looking for all of the extreme commentators and the extreme takes and the hot takes and the fights and the this person owned this person, and like temporarily, yeah, that's that's entertaining. Like, I love a good fight. I like to watch UFC and watch people get knocked out, but like I don't want to be watching that shit all day, every day.

SPEAKER_00 49:07

I think something that has helped us stay strong in our marriage is our commitment to core values. I think that we both are very value-centric and it's the red thread between the two of us. I think when I first laid eyes on you, I was like, wow, this guy is dynamic. And aside from him being the jock, the cute jock at college, you were so you had so many layers to you.

SPEAKER_04 49:40

And I in the words of Shrek, like an onion, right?

SPEAKER_00 49:45

Did he say that? Yeah, no, um, I feel like that's been around longer than Shrek.

SPEAKER_04 49:52

Of course it has.

SPEAKER_00 49:53

Um, but I think that I've just always been inspired by you.

SPEAKER_04 49:58

I mean, when you would be listening to the tapes, um Napoleon Hill, Rare Recordings, six disc CD changer, yeah, holler at your boy.

SPEAKER_00 50:09

You'd be in this big old van that you had listening to Napoleon Hill, and you would always say, like, whatever, what was the quote, whatever your mind, I got it for you to hang, whatever.

SPEAKER_04 50:24

Whatever your mind can conceive and believe it can achieve.

SPEAKER_00 50:29

And I was drawn to that because I had a I had a tough time growing up, and luckily I was surrounded by a lot of loving people, including the people in my family, but our circumstances were tough. And so getting myself to college, and I went to college to play soccer, and then being told, hey, by the way, you're gonna have to put yourself through college, you need to get three jobs. I was like, okay, well, I'm gonna set the world on fire right now, then, because this is the only, the only way I know is is up and through, and I'm gonna get it done. There is no failure here. And so when I met you, I'm like, oh, he's the guy I've been looking for.

SPEAKER_04 51:11

Yeah. And um regardless, regardless and irrespective of the uh rumors, opinions of all the other sorority girls, that's okay.

SPEAKER_00 51:23

Um, I just was inspired by you. I was, and so you know, you're you're very intense. I think a lot of people that that meet you would would say that, but there's so many sides of you that I'm an onion, the world hasn't seen. And so I think you shared that um I've always kind of pushed you to share that with the world, and that's one of my favorite parts of the journey. Going back to the core values is you created a set of core values for the business. And we lived by them and we memorized them, and they were hung all over the place. And I think that that really was something that we could bring to the business and watch that grow. And so it's one of my favorite parts looking back. I would say that, and I would say, you know, creating um just this desire for something that didn't exist. So awesome, making salad dressing cool before it was cool now. And um, and all the people that we got to meet and relationships that we got to build and the lessons that we got to learn. I mean, there were some super tough ones, of course, but I would say that um we've really decided what kind of parents we want to be by going through that tough journey because we know what matters most to us.

SPEAKER_04 52:44

And we can teach our kids when things are actually serious or not. Right. Because I think the the biggest thing I see with parents and their kids, they are harping on the wrong shit at the wrong time and they're putting unnecessary pressure at the wrong time for their kids without an understanding of how long the journey is. You know, I think we do a great job of like, hey, this isn't going our way. We're gonna try and figure this out to the best of our ability. But if it doesn't work out, we're just gonna solve the problem next year. That's what we're gonna do. We don't have to stay here, we don't have to do this shit. You are gonna have to work. We are gonna own what we need to own of the problem, but like we got a long way to go. And there's a million different ways to skin this cat, and we will try every single one of them in the process. We will leave no stone unturned if these are the things that you still want and these are the goals that you still have, and if you confirm to me that they are, then we will take the right action. If these are not your goals and you do not want this shit anymore, please let us know, and we will adjust accordingly. Because we're not living vicariously through our children. If you want these goals, we will help you accomplish them. If you don't, here's the other side of this coin.

SPEAKER_00 54:20

Yeah, I mean, we only get a small window of time, as we've seen. Your dad has always talked about, you know, the the time you have to actually make a mark. And so what do we want to arm them with so that they can be respectful, responsible citizens and humans and go out into the world and be confident in who they are and convicted in their value system. And and so I think those are the things we pay attention to the most. Um, but going back to why um why we're having this chat and the woman that asked for me to be on this um and hear my perspective. I mean, the the life of a wife of a CEO is not for the faint of heart.

SPEAKER_04 55:03

That is a rap, that is a rap lyric you just made up.

SPEAKER_00 55:06

Yeah. I think that there's definitely been tough times where I'm looking myself in the mirror and I'm like, holy cow, this is very hard. Not only is it the journey or the circumstances that are coming at you, but trying not to take personally everything that that you do or your reactions to the day that you've had and you're kind of involved in it, and so how you're separating it. And I think it wasn't until maybe two years ago, and we've been together since 2003, started Tessie Maze in 2009. It wasn't until two years ago that I just was like, you know what? I just have to surrender. I have to have a degree of surrender, humility, and not having a victim mentality. Um and and so I think in looking back over the years, I would say that, yeah, probably gratitude was the biggest tool in my toolbox for that journey.

SPEAKER_04 56:12

And obviously communication. Um I I think there's a couple times talking about like the surrender component where it's like boiling things down to something that's easily digestible, regardless of whether or not you want to digest it. Which was like I'm going to carry this burden, and I am going to trek through the fucking sludge knee deep for as long as I need to do it. All I need from you are smiles when I come home covered in shit and blood and piss and having a broken leg and a separated shoulder. And we just need to make sure that our kids are okay and that we're eating healthy, and that for the moments that we can really appreciate, like walks and date night and everything else, we're not carrying all of the other shit into those precious little moments because then there is no breath of fresh air anywhere anywhere.

SPEAKER_00 57:24

Yeah. I don't think I always did a great job of that.

SPEAKER_04 57:27

I I know.

SPEAKER_00 57:28

I feel like I have such a strong perseverance muscle. I have such a strong work ethic muscle and achievement as well. Like that has always been something that was a strong value for me. And when you would say things like, I just need a smiling face, sometimes I'd be insulted. Like, that's not enough.

SPEAKER_03 57:51

I know.

SPEAKER_00 57:52

I also need the eye black and I need the freaking dirt on my hands and my feet to prove, I don't know, I guess to myself or you. I don't even know who it was.

SPEAKER_04 58:04

It's only for yourself.

SPEAKER_00 58:05

But that I was in the trenches with you, not realizing the role of being in the trenches, trenches was just the idea of walking this life with you.

SPEAKER_02 58:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 58:19

And um and that that was enough. Um, so I think, you know, looking back, that's definitely something that I could have done better. Done better.

SPEAKER_02 58:34

Well, the funniest thing when I think about Drick had a beautiful quote. Uh that was on in the Rip Ross song. It was uh you wasn't winning shooting in the gin. In fact, she was, but she felt that she wasn't actually shooting.

SPEAKER_00 58:50

Okay. I love that. Yes. You like the women shooting in the gin? Yes. Right. And sometimes we would get competitive. We're old, we're both oldest children.

SPEAKER_04 59:01

You would.

SPEAKER_00 59:02

We're both. I see what you did there. Um, we're both oldest children. We're both, you know, used to going the road less traveled. We're both, you know, you don't give up the fight ever. You never, ever stop.

SPEAKER_04 59:17

Right, Winston Churchill.

SPEAKER_00 59:19

And so there were times where, you know, it would be a little bit of a competition and we'd have to remind ourselves, like well, it was like you were addicted to being in it with me. Sure.

SPEAKER_04 59:34

And I'm not saying that's a bad thing, I'm saying like you toughened yourself to the point where like you were a warrior in a garden. And you're like, nah, I'm supposed to be out there.

SPEAKER_00 59:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 59:49

And it was like, you you will eventually, trust me, you're gonna get called in eventually. Just use this time for rest. But I remember a funny time and it wasn't funny at all, but I was on like a horrible phone call, horrible, and I'm fucking yelling, and it was absolutely just brutal. And I was gonna go on a walk to calm down, and you were like waiting right outside of my office. And you're like, what was the call about? What's going on? Is everything okay? What can I do to help? And I'm like, I just need to go on a walk, and you were just following me, asking me questions. I'm like, I just need a minute. You're like, why are you yelling? I'm like, because I just had the worst call of my life.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:31

And you don't really do that anymore.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:34

Yes, I have had to work on it. I I say, oh, the key to all this is gratitude. There have been many people that have helped me in this, I would say, calm sense of perspective of how you get through all of these storms. But I I think a piece of that is knowing that when you're going through something, you can come out a totally different person. And so you need to continue to do the work on yourself of who am I today? What are my value systems today? What are my goals today? And what makes me tick? What drives me crazy? Why, why does that give me a rub when somebody does that? What happened to me in my life that I'm allowing something that somebody else says offend me or what somebody else does offend me? That's a me problem. And I think that's something I really worked on the past two years of looking at things from that perspective of Greg needing to go on a walk after a hard call does not mean that he doesn't need me or that why can't I help him in the trenches? It's he needs to just go on a walk.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:43

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:44

And so I would say continuing to work on yourself and reevaluate things and not letting yourself be defined by your situation or the outcomes of it, that that's just something that's passing through at that moment.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:01

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:02

So that's what I would say about that.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:04

Any final thoughts or tidbits that you want to leave people with or something that we have not talked about that you would like to talk about?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:18

I would say the power of the present moment. Finally being able to appreciate that gift. I think for so long you're trying to just get to that next phase, that next step. And if I do this, then I can set myself up for X, or if we do this as a family, then this will be where we can come out on the other side.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:45

And I think it's also like a piece of control or um perfectionism, if you will, like controlling that outcome. And the gift of the present is something that I think that we've really started to embrace um that we didn't used to. And it's so much easier said than done. Um, but I think seeing that we now have a daughter that was once in my front carrier while we were passing out samples of salad dressing at our lunch hour at Whole Foods when we were first launching this business.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:22

And she's bigger than you.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:23

And now she's 5'10 and a sophomore in high school. And when I look back on those past 15 years, it's not just that journey of that business, right? There's so much life involved in it.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:40

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:41

And what how much life do I want us to live in these next three years before she's set free at the age of 18? And so I think that just really narrowing down what's important to us as people, again, it's it's a small, simple list. And there's only now. There's only now. And so I would say that is really good perspective and clarity for us as you know, something that's just grounding every day.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:14

What problems do you have right now? None. I don't have any.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:22

And to be grateful for everything right now, again, easier said than done. But I agree with you wholeheartedly, we've done a very good job coming out the other side of the hero's journey way better than when we went into it.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:44

Yeah, for sure. And I think I was always so proud of being of you being the man in the arena or me being the woman in the arena and defining myself by that.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:56

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:57

And now saying, How do I define myself aside from those things, aside from the struggles or the fortunes, you know?

SPEAKER_04 1:05:08

Great skin.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:09

Who am I without my story? And I think that that's something I've really leaned into.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:15

Well, that's deep shit, right? Because the story that we are today is the story that we remind ourselves every morning of what we've overcome and how strong we are, etc. And all we are are our memories. I mean, seeing my grandmother have dementia at the end of her life and not know anything or anyone or where she is or what's going on, it it's crazy to think about that. That that is an extreme of you know, this person that had lived this unbelievable life now knows nothing. What we do every day, which is the constant reminder of everything that we've overcome and the story and we are today who we say that we are based on everything that we've lived, and then being able to find some common ground of being okay, not being in the arena anymore, but knowing that we've been in it and taking all of the values that we learned being in the arena for so long, but being okay being in the stands, that's some wild shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:32

Yeah, letting go of that bitterness.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:37

Yeah, the hardness.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:39

The hardness. And uh, and I had a friend ask me to write my hundredth year celebration birthday toast in the eyes of one of my children.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:53

Yeah, that's cool.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:54

And that was a really great exercise. I did not want to write it. Just like I didn't want to write letters to people that I may or may not send that I've had hardship with. And that exercise really helped me focus on okay, what did I want them to say about me in my hundred years of living? And what is the sentiment of the reader, of the person giving the toast? How do I want them to view me? And what do I want them to say? So uh yeah, I would say figuring out who I am without my story has been the biggest gift that I could have been given in the last year on a reflection of the journey that we have had so far.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:48

Well, thank you for coming on. Hopefully, I will see you again very soon. What a great guest you are. Uh, this is Genevieve Vetter, my wife, Greg Vetter Podcast, talking about all of the tips, trials, tribulations, experiences, and best practices for building a wild life worth living, and uh how to manage all of that with being married to somebody like me. Thank you for having me. Yeah, thanks for being here.