Ep.2-Prioritizing Self-Care

In this episode of the Exhale and Explore podcast, hosts Anil Manley, MS, CHES and Lauren Fain, RN, HN-BC, delve into the multifaceted concept of self-care. They explore personal experiences, the importance of mindfulness, and the various dimensions of self-care, including physical, emotional, social, and financial aspects. The conversation emphasizes the significance of being present, connecting with nature, and the benefits of self-care practices in enhancing overall well-being and resilience. Lauren and Anil emphasize the need for individuals to prioritize their health, advocate for themselves in healthcare settings, and adjust their self-care plans as life changes. The conversation highlights personal experiences with healthcare challenges and the significance of preventive care, encouraging listeners to be proactive in their health journeys.

Takeaways

• Self-care is essential for overall well-being.
• Mindfulness can help us connect with ourselves and others.
• Taking time in nature can improve mental health.
• Self-care practices vary and should be personalized.
• Emotional and social well-being are crucial aspects of self-care.
• Advocating for your health is important.
• Preventive care can save you from future health issues.
• Creating a holistic self-care plan can guide your journey.
• Adjust your self-care practices as life changes.
• It's okay to ask for help and seek support.

Transcript

Disclaimer:
This transcript has been lightly edited for clarity and readability. Minor filler words and interjections (e.g., “yeah,” “mm-hmm,” “mmm”) have been removed to improve the flow of the conversation. While every effort was made to preserve the original meaning and tone, this version may not reflect the exact word-for-word dialogue from the podcast recording.

The content shared in this podcast and transcript is for edutainment purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, or replace medical advice. Always consult with your trusted healthcare provider regarding your personal health and wellness needs.

Anil Manley MS, CHES (00:00)
Welcome to the Exhale and Explore podcast, a space to breathe, reflect, and step into the next chapter of your wellbeing. I'm Anil and I'm joined by my co-host Lauren.
Together we create a supportive space to honor every part of your wellbeing experience, offering insight, encouragement, and inspiration as you navigate midlife transitions and self-care with ease and curiosity. So let's explore what's possible, one breath at a time.

So welcome back listeners. Today's topic is on self-care. And just before we get started, I want to do a little mindful check-in and invite all of you to take a deep breath by placing one hand on your heart and one hand on your forehead. I know this feels awkward, but go ahead and take a deep breath in. You can close your eyes if you want and let it out.
 This is a way for us to just connect in the moment, to transition from what we were doing before and settle in right now.

Anil (01:01)
And I'm gonna turn it over to Lauren to explore and reflect.

Lauren Fain RN, HN-BC (01:06)
Happy to be back here with you and our listeners. So we're doing this little segment Explore and Reflect as we head into turning 50 this year.
We both decided that each time we're gonna be mindful of trying one new thing that we approach differently or something we’ve never tried before. Did you wanna go first or should I?

For me, this week, I found that with the climate right now, I’ve been feeling very anxious—trying to get to the next thing and not really being present. I had an opportunity this week with a coworker who I normally don't engage with much because I don’t always agree with her outlook or decisions.
 But I thought, you know what, I do have time. Let me just sit here and be present. Let her talk. And by doing that, I got a whole different perspective of her. She opened up about her childhood and some of the traumas she experienced.

At the end of that, I had a greater appreciation for just taking a moment. I was able to let her unload but also understand her a bit more, and maybe give her a little more grace moving forward. That’s something I might not have done in the past. Work is always busy—I’m a nurse—it gets crazy. We had a moment of downtime, and I could’ve gone off to decompress like I usually do. But I wanted to try something different. And something good came out of it.

Anil (02:43)
It sounds like that fostered a different type of connection where you’d normally move on to the next thing. You mentioned how this climate is right now and how it’s easy to not listen or hear people who think differently. That was a mindful moment in itself—to catch yourself and just listen.

Lauren (03:23)
I’m not saying we won’t bump heads again, but it changed how I saw her. I had kind of put her in a box, based on things I heard about her—maybe her political views. Not someone I’d consider an ally.
But now I have a better understanding of why she might be the way she is. I had some sympathy I didn’t expect to have, hearing her share her family dynamics.

Anil (04:09)
That’s useful in this day and age. Not that you’ll do it every time, but you learned from the interaction. Even taking a moment to switch things up can give you a new understanding. You don’t have to be buddy-buddy, but you can work together with more appreciation for the differences.

Lauren (04:44)
Exactly. That’s the whole point. We still have to work together. Especially around the election or tough times—you still need to find ways to work with people. Taking a moment to extend grace helps. Not everyone earns that, but in this case, it was worth it.

Anil (05:07)
I love that. So what have I done differently since our last episode? For me, it’s been tuning into nature more and connecting with my senses.
When it's a nice day, I make myself go outside. I even invented an errand just to be out for an hour. Sat on the porch for 15 to 30 minutes and did nothing. That helped me shift my focus so I wasn’t constantly thinking about what I need to do next.

It forced me to slow down. That’s good for the nervous system—to feel the air, the wind, the sun, hear the birds, see the colors. These are small things, but they help reset.

Anil (06:24)
Another thing—I’ve noticed when I shower, I usually just rush in and out. But now, I’ve been letting it marinate. Feeling the water, taking a deep breath, imagining all the troubles washing down the drain. Just a little visualization. Doesn’t take long, but I feel more relaxed when I get out.

And I’ve been doing it more at night—normally I’m a morning shower person—but I slept better that night.

Lauren (07:13)
I shower at night too, especially as a nurse. I love that idea of washing the day away. And it doesn’t cost much. It’s a little gift to yourself.

Anil (07:20)
Sometimes, especially when I’ve been staring at a screen for too long, I hit a wall. My brain just can’t function anymore. So I have to change the scene—get food, go outside, splash water on my face. Anything to rejuvenate and come back with fresh energy.

Anil (08:19)
Let’s talk about self-care. Everyone defines it differently, but I want to share the World Health Organization’s definition. They say self-care is the ability of individuals, families, and communities to promote and maintain their health, prevent disease, and cope with illness—with or without a health worker.

Self-care interventions can include medicine, devices, diagnostics, and digital tools—like using a glucose monitor for diabetes. The benefits are broad—mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. It helps us bounce back, builds resilience, and prevents burnout.

Anil (09:39)
Lauren’s going to walk us through the different types.

Lauren (09:39)
I’ll start with my shirt—“Self-care is self-love.” You’ve got to be right for yourself before you can be right for others.

First, check in with yourself. How are you feeling? Why are you feeling that way? What do you need?

Starting with physical self-care—find what works for you. For me, it’s running. I signed up for a 5K this past weekend, even though I didn’t feel ready. I did better than I thought and felt that runner’s high afterward. That motivates me to stay on track.

Lauren (11:23)
How about you?

Anil (11:30)
For physical self-care, definitely walking with a weighted vest—gives me cardio and resistance. For perimenopausal and menopausal women, resistance training is important, but we also have to prevent injury. I’ve had frozen shoulder and rotator cuff issues. So the vest works well for me.
Also, dancing—turning on some Kaytranada or upbeat music and just letting go in the middle of the day. That’s my latest stress release.

Lauren (12:20)
That’s great. And when you mentioned being outside—during winter, we don’t get as much vitamin D. A lot of people are deficient and don’t know it. It affects your mood, so get your labs checked and ask your doctor if you need a supplement.

Anil (12:55)
That’s a good reminder. I’ve had seasonal affective disorder for years, and I’ve needed vitamin D supplementation. But always check with your doctor first—don’t just take things on your own.

Lauren (13:56)
Exactly. Psychological self-care includes mindfulness, therapy, or group support. I help out at my church with a grief group. You don’t have to go through things alone—whether it’s individual therapy or a group setting.

Anil (14:15)
Even just starting with a mindful check-in, like we did earlier. That was less than 30 seconds, but it helps regulate how you feel inside and how you interact with others.

We can’t control everything outside of us, but we can control how we respond. Whether it’s through therapy, mindfulness, brain breaks, or prayer—it’s all connected. Keep doing those things. And don’t be ashamed to ask for help.

Lauren (15:35)
That ties right into emotional self-care and regulating your emotions. It helps to find safe spaces to express yourself. You can’t tell your deepest secrets to just anyone, so talk to someone you trust—a therapist, a pastor, or a friend.

Then there’s social self-care—things like getting together with girlfriends, checking out a new restaurant. I mentioned before my aunt loves her line dancing group. Just different things to keep you connected.

Lauren (16:02)
Professional self-care is about your career, setting goals. Environmental is your home space—that’s a big one for me. I’m always battling clutter. I’ve heard people say, “Cluttered space, cluttered mind.” It’s something I have to be aware of because things pile up fast.

My car is where it gets the worst sometimes because I’m always on the go. But I love creating a calming space in my bathroom. If I’m taking a nice bath, I’ll set the mood—candles, music.

Spiritual self-care includes meditation, prayer, or going to church.

Anil (17:09)
If you have access, participating in a retreat—whether in person or virtual—can be powerful. Sometimes workplaces or organizations offer them. You just have to check what’s available in your area, what’s affordable. There are often free day retreats or virtual options worth exploring.

Lauren (17:37)
That’s pretty much all the categories. The last one is financial self-care. That’s a big one. Be mindful of your spending. Don’t stretch yourself too thin. Stick to your budget—it helps reduce stress.

Anil (17:57)
All of these are ways to practice self-care. They represent different dimensions of wellness. This isn’t about pressuring yourself to be perfect in all of them. It’s about giving yourself a holistic view of how to care for yourself.

It can also help you assess where you are and where you want to go. If one area feels off and you want to improve, this gives you a starting point. If you don’t know how to improve, this is your invitation to ask others—people you trust or admire—for guidance.

Lauren (18:55)
I encourage our listeners to pick just one area to focus on this week. Physical, psychological, emotional, social, professional, environmental, spiritual, or financial—just one.

Anil (19:19)
I love that. It’s something you can do any time—not just for New Year’s resolutions. Another mindful check-in is reviewing your self-care plan. How are you doing in each area?

Ideally, you’d do this daily or weekly. But even checking in on one area like Lauren said—that’s a great place to start.

Anil (19:39)
Let’s talk about what self-care means to us. What does it mean to you, Lauren?

Lauren (20:07)
For me, self-care means love for myself. I always go back to the analogy they use on airplanes: in an emergency, put on your own oxygen mask first before helping others.

It’s not a one-time thing. It’s a daily, sometimes moment-by-moment check-in. You might be helping someone else, but you need to make sure you’re getting what you need too. Don’t go the whole day and forget to eat.

Anil (20:34)
Exactly. Taking time to eat a real meal is self-care. Will it always happen? Hopefully. But even if you can’t sit for a full meal, keep snacks that energize you—at your desk, in your car—so you can nourish yourself throughout the day.

Anil (21:09)
For me, over the last couple years, I’ve had to switch all my doctors. So a big part of self-care has been staying on top of my preventive exams.

Last week I went to the eye doctor and the dentist. Got my regular checkups. Found out I need to get some wisdom teeth pulled—not thrilled—but it’s necessary.

This goes back to taking care of our needs. Not delaying. Not pushing it off. We got into that habit during the pandemic, and now it’s time to get back on track. Preventive care is self-care.

Anil (22:24)
Next up for me is getting those teeth pulled, my physical exam, and my annual gynecologist visit. I’m doing it all. But that takes commitment.

Lauren (22:54)
It really does. You have to make it a priority.

Anil (23:01)
It’s not going to happen on its own. I have to schedule it, track the appointments, deal with insurance, co-pays, all of that. It’s not just the visit—it’s everything before and after too.

Anil (23:27)
And that part isn’t always fun. But we talked about this—how it’s really about prevention. If you don’t handle it now, you’ll pay for it later.

Lauren (23:37)
Exactly. You either pay now or you pay later. And hopefully by taking the time now, you won’t have to deal with something worse down the line.

Anil (23:56)
We all know that. But actually doing it, following through, taking action—that’s where self-care becomes real. It’s a commitment.

Lauren (24:03)
That reminds me of what I’ve been dealing with. I’ve had a dental issue for months. I went back to my longtime dentist, someone I’ve known since childhood. He brushed it off—said maybe I needed a night guard or was grinding my teeth.

It was disappointing. I didn’t feel heard. As a Black woman in healthcare, I’ve heard people talk about not being taken seriously, and this felt like that. It was affecting my quality of life. I thought, is this something I just have to live with?

But I decided to go to a specialist. They did X-rays and said it was really infected—I needed a root canal. I almost cried. It wasn’t in my head. They confirmed it.

It wasn’t fun, but I had to be my own advocate. That’s not always easy, but it’s important. Find providers who will listen. It’s hard post-pandemic to get appointments, but don’t give up.

Lauren (25:58)
Your health is your wealth. If I had let that go, it could’ve turned into something worse. Infections in your mouth can impact your heart. Everything’s connected. Listen to your body and keep pushing until you get the care you need.

Anil (26:09)
You said so much right there. When something is painful or obviously wrong, we tend to address it. But even things like eye exams or dental checkups—we can let those slide until it becomes serious.

We put them off thinking it’s not urgent. But by the time we can’t see or chew properly, it’s a bigger issue. Some of it is preventable. Some isn’t. But if you can take care of it early, do it.

And when your dentist didn’t take your concern seriously, you didn’t stop there. That wasn’t good enough—and you knew it.

Lauren (27:44)
Right. And it was especially frustrating because I’ve always kept up with my checkups, thanks to my mom. Twice a year, every year, no matter what.

This was someone I trusted. So the disappointment was deeper. But I had to take it upon myself to go to a specialist and get answers.

Anil (28:11)
And again, that’s the unglamorous part of self-care. The follow-up. The phone calls. The paperwork. It’s the stuff that connects the dots.

I tell my coaching clients—go to the doctor with your concerns and questions. Be ready. Write things down. If it’s allowed, bring someone with you. Because once they start giving instructions, it’s easy to forget what they said.

Lauren (28:50)
Absolutely. Memory recall isn’t always reliable when you’re getting lots of information. Bring a notebook or support person.

Anil (28:59)
And when you’re not happy with the care you’re receiving, hopefully you have a network or insurance options to look into other providers. Ask friends or family who they recommend.

Check your insurance for coverage and fees so you’re not surprised by the bill. Like—I just got an email from the oral surgeon. I’ll be getting two wisdom teeth pulled. I was thinking, “That’ll probably be 50 bucks.”

But no. That was naïve. So now I know what to expect.

Lauren (29:51)
I was about to say—you’re not tying that tooth to a string and slamming the door!

Anil (30:14)
Exactly. And I was talking to someone I coach, and he said, “Now I feel like I’m an administrator—I have to leave messages, follow up, schedule everything.” I told him—yes. You do. That’s part of being your own advocate.

Anil (30:37)
For example, yesterday I needed a prescription for the procedure. Went to CVS—nothing was there. So I had to call today, and the doctor hadn’t sent it in yet.

Now, after this recording, I have to go back and pick it up. Not fun. But necessary.

Lauren (31:29)
It’s frustrating, but you are worth the hassle. You have to follow through.

Anil (31:45)
You are. And if this were your mother, your father, your child, or someone else you love, you’d advocate for them. You’d make sure they got what they needed.

So flip that around—if it helps you prioritize your self-care, think of yourself that way. Some people still struggle to put themselves first. This can be the perspective shift they need.

Anil (32:03)
We hope this has been helpful and gives you a few ideas of what self-care can look like. Not just for you, but for your family, your community, your loved ones.

Lauren (32:38)
We’d love to hear from you—what’s one thing you’re focusing on this week? Share your practices with us.