Women's Self Defence: The Truth They Don't Tell You!

What if everything you’ve heard about women’s self-defence is only half the truth?

In this episode of Self Defence for Women, Julie Waite (women's safety advocate) and self-defence expert Dene Josham (former bodyguard of Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt and Russell Crowe) debunk the biggest myths — like needing strength or learning to fight strangers. Instead, they reveal how real self-defence starts with awareness, emotional resilience, and believing you’re worth protecting.

Discover the truth about where most threats come from, why saying “no” is a self-defence skill, and how your mindset is your best weapon.

 “Self defence isn’t just about physical moves; it’s about mindset, awareness, and setting boundaries.” – Julie Waite 

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Transcript

Julie Waite (00:03)
Welcome to Self Defence for Women, Live an Empowered Life, the podcast that helps you stay safe, feel strong, and take control of your personal security. I'm Julie Waite and alongside me is Dene Josham, self defence expert with 30 years experience and former bodyguard of Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, and Russell Crowe. Together, we're here to share real-world strategies, expert insights, and practical tips to help you build confidence, set boundaries, and navigate the world with strength.

If you find this podcast helpful, be sure to subscribe and leave us a review because it helps us reach a lot more women just like you.

Now let's get started.

When you hear the words women's self-defence, what comes to mind? Maybe you picture martial arts, high kicks, or fighting off a stranger in a dark alley. But the truth is real self-defence is so much more than just the physical moves. It starts with awareness, boundaries, and mindset. In today's episode, we're breaking down some of the biggest myths about self-defence and revealing what actually works. We'll talk about why strength isn't the most important factor, why most threats come from people you already know,

and why self-defence is about protecting your mind as much as your body. So let's dive in and define what self-defence really means for women. We thought we'd do this by sharing some of the most common truths and statements that we use in our training and then have a discussion around them. So the first one is self-defence is defence of the body and the mind. Dene, this is something that I hear you say a lot. What's your views on this issue?

Dene - Streetwise Defence (01:40)
Yeah, it's about protecting the whole person. So body and mind. I think we've been so focused previously on all the physical elements and keeping the physical body safe. But also we have to remember, the psychological mind is can or can be quite fragile thing. So we also have to take that into consideration.

And I've experienced psychological abuse or psychological attack, which I think most people probably have. So it's looking at it to make sure we keep the mind safe as well, because that's so important.

Julie Waite (02:15)
It is. think a lot of people think self-defence is just punching and kicking, but it starts with that awareness of kind of that you have to protect your mind as well as your body.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (02:28)
Yes, it's one of those things as well that, you know, self defence self. So you have to understand yourself as well. So it can be challenging and realizing more about who you are as well. I think that's really important because we have to understand ourselves as well to stay safer.

Julie Waite (02:47)
know you had an experience many years ago with a relationship and I think that left you feeling quite broken afterwards and it kind of shows that the emotional can really damage you almost even in a physical way as well.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (03:02)
Yeah, massively the kind of physical side of emotional abuse or an emotional attack can come out physically, you know, looking back over my life and relationships. And I'm sure most people have had difficult trying relationships. And I remember one time where many years ago and I break up a relationship and I actually started smoking. Don't know, don't know why I was

Julie Waite (03:27)
Right. I didn't know that

about you. I can't picture you smoking and you're so healthy as well.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (03:32)
Yeah, so,

yeah, so I started probably smoking probably 20 cigarettes a day, which took a toll physically, because I didn't eat stress, upset, all these things that go with, sorry, relationship breakdown. So, you know, that's one time I can remember when that emotional part

really affected me because I neglected myself physically for a short period of time and then, you know, through it also, and a relationship I had, I don't know, maybe 10 years ago and, and person that I was with at the time who I cared for a lot was very manipulative. And I didn't realize, like I always say, what's a narcissist. I didn't realize what a narcissist was and that manipulation against me psychologically. didn't even realize.

And it was only because another good friend of mine at the time was going through similar, we were speaking about it and then we actually Googled it and it come up with Narcissist and like, my gosh. But you know, it's suddenly like opening the door. We sort of realised that the kind of psychological torture, torment, abuse we were going through and it kind of just shined a big light on it. And that was massively damaging. Massively.

Julie Waite (04:48)
you

Yeah, I think once you can start to understand that it helps as well with things like domestic abuse and situations that might escalate from starting out with the emotional abuse because people think, they're not hurting me, they're not touching me. So it's not abuse, but even if it's words, it can be abuse. So I think that's something for people to bear in mind as well.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (05:15)
Yeah, definitely. And the excuses you make as well for the other person, because if you love and care for somebody, you kind of try and process it to work for your own mind. So you dismiss a lot of it and you think, they're having a bad day or that's just how they are. And then reality is, you know, that can escalate into all manipulation, potentially, you know, physical assault and all sorts. Yeah, was the last relationship, which I just mentioned then.

It got to the point where I was doubting in my own reality because the manipulation, the gaslighting word salad in all these words that we use to sort sum up what a narcissist can do and how they go about things. I ended up ringing crisis management, which is an NHS hotline because I got to the point where I was doubting in my own reality and I felt suicidal because my head was such in a flat spin. And I always say that that was the best number done on me ever.

Psychologically, physically, I've been involved unfortunately in physical stuff as well, but psychologically, wow. Yeah. Mind blowing.

Julie Waite (06:20)
Yeah, I think that's important for people to know because I don't think people necessarily think big guy like you who knows self defence who's been bodyguard to Brad Pitt and Russell Crowe that you would be reduced to that kind of emotional and physical level because of a relationship.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (06:38)
Yes, and also from doing classes and talking to people, it's more and more apparent to me and more and more people discuss that openness of, I've been in a control relationship or an abusive relationship. And yeah, you've got to understand, see the sign, know the signs, understand that and also make sure never doubt yourself.

Julie Waite (07:00)
So that's what we think is one of the truths of self-defence, that self-defence is defence of the body and the mind as well. The next one is something that we say a lot is self-defence is 95 % awareness and avoidance. And do you want to explain a bit about what you mean about this when you say that?

Dene - Streetwise Defence (07:18)
Yeah, it's the reality and the truth. You know, as we go through our day, we're in different environments, we're around different people. That's normally always changing. Now when you're out and about, you're moving through people and moving through different environments. Threat levels can change and it's to be truth, truthful and really aware of, like I always say, where do you feel more at danger? And what part of your day where you feel comfortable?

And can you do something about it? Can you be smarter and safer, make a different choice and stay safer? And also the truth. Now we look at statistics, we want to deliver what's true in 2025 and beyond. And that's the uncomfortable truth because that tells you where potentially the biggest dangers are, what we need to be aware of, avoid. And if we can't then make sure we're more

tuned into the environment and to people around us because the people are the ones that cause the harm. Yes, situation awareness, but also understanding the people around you and the interaction and how that's changing all the time and whether there's anything that changes that you might think, I have a problem here.

Julie Waite (08:30)
For me, I find it really empowering to know that, well, if awareness and avoidance is 95 % of self defence, then there's maybe 5 % that's the physical, which is the last resort. But if the majority of it is awareness and avoidance, that means for me, I can make smart choices that can keep me out of potentially dangerous situations. I think a lot of people, a lot of women especially, feel quite...

vulnerable and scared that someone's going to attack them and someone's going to overpower them or they won't know what to do. But actually if you can be aware that by, you know, being smart about when you're out and about, looking around you, not being distracted on your phone, not having your headphones in, you can be start tuning into people, listening to your gut instinct, making choices about where you go, planning ahead.

you know, making sure that things like you've got your phone's got a full battery, you've got maybe got an attack alarm on the outside of your bag. Maybe you just do lots and lots of different things that you can do and we'll go into some of those over the course of these podcasts. But I think that's like a really empowering thing to know that you can be aware and avoid a lot of situations just by decisions that you make and getting some good knowledge and information about how to keep yourself safe.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (09:55)
Yeah, definitely. I always say to people when somebody when you get in front of a group of people and they say, I don't know anything about self defense. I'm always I disagree because if you're in the room with me, you know, you've done something quite well so far because you're still with us. Not dismissing things people might have gone through or might be experiencing, but they're still with us. So we have a lot of the skill sets.

that we already need, it's just highlighting them and also being smarter for ourselves. not in this world of everybody accepts everybody and that's the truth. So we have to bring that into the decision making that we go through and be aware that, you know, our personal safety is our own responsibility. Yes, we shouldn't have to do this. Yes, there should be more other elements out there, which I'm not going go into because that's political. No, but we're not there yet and we can't wait for all these other things to happen.

We have to take it, the power back into our own hands and make sure we're more understanding of personal safety and what we can do for us and the people around us.

Julie Waite (10:57)
Yeah. And then with that awareness comes the next truth really, which is it surprises most people when we're training them that 70 to 90 % of attacks on women come from someone known to them. And this could be, it's mostly a partner, but it could also be a work colleague, a family member, a friend, someone that they know in the community. So,

I think when you know that you need a different approach to self-defence because it's one thing to think about a stranger on a street, on a dark street at night and think how would I respond to that but how do you respond when it's someone, a family member or a partner that's manipulated you and has groomed you over months or years and then gets to the point where the abuse becomes physical.

there's an assault or whatever. So I think that's something that most people don't understand either.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (12:02)
It's a different aspect to try and process, isn't it? Being, having a physical response against somebody you don't know can potentially be easier because there's no connection. But if I'm suddenly having an altercation with Bobby, who I play football with every Saturday night, sorry, every Saturday, and all of a sudden, we're going out for a football drinking, know, celebrate, we want to...

Julie Waite (12:05)
you

Dene - Streetwise Defence (12:25)
competition and all of sudden I'm drinking with him and then suddenly he's had a few beers and his tone changes towards me and potentially he's being a bit funny, bit rude, a bit aggressive. I'm thinking, is he going to attack me because all the signs are showing me that he's getting very aggressive towards me. How do I process that? Because I've known him for six, eight months a year playing football with him and then all of a sudden I've got this situation where potentially he might be violent towards me and it

throws a whole different aspect in there because if I didn't know him, potentially it can be easy to have a physical response. But again, that's the last thing I'd ever want because of the consequences and the aftermath.

Julie Waite (12:59)
Mm.

Yeah.

And I think with women, it's quite odd. These kind of things quite often start as like someone pushing the boundaries with you. I've had episodes in my past, my younger years with work colleagues where someone has pushed a boundary and then they think they can do something and they can't, and then it escalates very quickly. And I think that's why.

we've always got so much emphasis on setting boundaries and saying no, particularly for women, women are generally brought up, I'd say probably more so than boys, girls more so than boys, to be polite and to be ladylike and to be this kind of sweet, nice, gentle person. And that means kind of, because of that, we often feel that we can't say no.

I've had a lot of just low-level incidents where a stranger in hotel just last year come up to me and put his arm around me when I was queuing for something and start trying to chat to me. in the past, the nice version of me would have been like, trying to laugh it off or trying to shuffle away or brush it off because you don't want cause a scene, you don't want to be rude, you don't want them to think that you're mean or anything like that.

Whereas since I've been doing this work with you now, I'm very, very clear on my boundaries. No one has got the right to come up and touch me, you know, whether his intentions are being friendly or otherwise. And, know, in that situation, I'm shouting, no, I shouted, no, get off me. And I moved him away. And he was very embarrassed and everyone looked around and I was embarrassed. But it was like, you have to feel confident. Like people don't have the right to either

touch you, force you into something you don't want to do, make you feel uncomfortable. And I think that's a really big part of self-defence as well. Knowing how to set boundaries, knowing what you will and won't put up with, and then really sticking by that.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (15:03)
Yeah, definitely. I would say to people, if you're more concerned about upsetting somebody than you are about your personal safety, then that's a self reflection part I think we'd have to look at. I understand it. We don't upset people and this kind of social conditioning, but people can use that and manipulate that against us. And also I say to people, you know, if you turn around and said, please don't touch me, I'm not comfortable with that.

If the other person's a decent person, they would accept that. And for me, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm really sorry about that. won't do that again. I'm going to respect your boundaries. If somebody spins it around, are you being oversensitive? well, it's only, I only put my arm around you. What's the matter with you? Are you this, are you this, are you that? And you're like, no, that's someone's kind of spinning it back on you. That's a reflection of them. Okay, they might feel uncomfortable and that's a defense mechanism.

Julie Waite (15:33)
Yeah, I know.

Mm.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (15:56)
a way people sort of come straight back to you to throw it back on you. But then just pause and think, well, actually, a good person would be okay with that because I'm allowed to set my boundaries. I'm allowed to change them whenever I want. I'm allowed to adjust them. And standing strong. Nobody has the right to put hands on you or say, know, physically hurt us or emotionally hurt us. Nobody has that right.

Julie Waite (15:56)
Okay.

Mm.

No.

Now, I mean, I'd be mortified

if somebody said to me, that's made me feel uncomfortable. But whatever it is that I've said or done, I'd be absolutely mortified. And I'd really, really want to like, I'd apologize. And I'd want to be like, OK, let's be clear on what you are comfortable with. You just wouldn't want to make someone else feel like that. So I think it's worth noticing that if someone does start to switch things around on you, that I had an episode.

where I got sexually harassed in the workplace and that escalated and escalated and I had to leave the company in the end because I confronted the person about it and they did exactly that. You're being sensitive. You know, didn't mean any of it like that. Now you've made me uncomfortable. Now I'm worried that I'm going to get done for sexual harassment and you've made it really horrible and I'll have to stay away from And it went on and on and it was like, all I did was say, I don't want you to touch me anymore. I don't need to make comments anymore.

don't put your hand on me, don't do this, don't do that. I want to just have a nice working relationship. But instead of apologising, they twisted it around and I had to leave. And eventually I got some legal support and we got it all sorted out. But it was very unpleasant because I didn't want to rock the boat and I didn't want to be the person that's being overly sensitive. But where would that have escalated if I'd let it go on and on? I don't want to, I don't know.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (17:36)
Yeah.

Julie Waite (17:39)
But it wasn't good and I was feeling uncomfortable at the time and you shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (17:45)
Yeah, and it's that reality. I mean, if I'm okay saying this, I was obviously with you and I saw what happened, spoke about it, the escalation that went on, the times you approach the subject in a nice way to highlight, please, I'm not comfortable with that. Please don't do that. Can you treat me like this? And it was dismissed over and over again. So fair play for you for standing strong, because I it was a difficult time for you.

Julie Waite (18:10)
Mm.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (18:11)
And I was witness to that. heard, was witness on the phone call conversation that the third party knew I was on there. And I was like, wow, you're twisting this around. You're spinning. You're not even looking at the issue here. You just attacking trying to be defensive when reality is if that person would have said, I'm so sorry. Yes, of course I'll treat you like that because that's how you should be treated. It, you would have probably still been there maybe. So.

Julie Waite (18:33)
Hmm

Yeah, I would have just carried on

because I didn't want to leave. you know, I mean, that's a kind of a lower level example and there's lots more examples that people have that, you know, can, are much worse than that.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (18:44)
Well.

Again, it's some, I think how people kind of, you know, if somebody pushed you back and you kind of questioned yourself, oh, maybe I'm, maybe I'm a bit oversensitive. Maybe I'm over egging this. It's like, no, if somebody, if you're, if somebody's doing something against you, that is uncomfortable in it and giving you them feelings and you're not comfortable, then no, that's, that's not acceptable. And everybody's different. So that's the reality to go, well, okay, I did that. Well, the last person was fine with that. Okay, but I'm not the last person.

Julie Waite (19:25)
think the next truth kind of links in with that and that is self-defence begins with the belief that you're worth protecting and I know a lot of women that we've trained kind of start out at the beginning of the sessions and the workshops and things with this idea of well so long as everyone else is okay that...

that's the main thing. So long as my kids are okay, or my partner's okay, or my dog's okay, you know, I kind of come last in the line of importance and I'll manage and I'll be all right. And I think that kind of, that myth that I will let everyone else be okay before me actually is where things start to unravel sometimes.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (20:07)
Yeah, massively as well. kind of what, how does having that, I understand that mindset, mind frame, but how does that relate to our children as well? You know, I'm more aware since I've done a trauma diploma of how I am around my kids, people I love and care for. What does that set an example to my loved ones? You know, if I'm in an abusive relationship,

one of my children see that I'm in abusive relationship, potentially I could be setting my children up for the same kind of life because well, that's what dad, that was normal for dad. That's what dad put over. That must be okay. So I'll just do the same. So repeat in the behavior. So, you know, sometimes it is difficult to stand up, stand strong and set your boundaries, but who's watching you? Like I always say, I don't want my

my kids, my family members, other people I know to experience some of the things that I've experienced. So I'm trying to make sure I'm a better person. But it's always remembering who's watching it because I would hate for that to be put onto somebody else because it's what we say is the norm. When it isn't, it shouldn't be.

Julie Waite (21:14)
Yeah.

No. And I think as well, when you do believe that you're worth protecting and you kind of, you've got that confidence that, I'm worth protecting and no one's gonna hurt me or step over the line or break my boundaries. And once you've got that confidence, it does make you feel more empowered and it kind of like builds itself. So then you get more and more confident in everything that you do. And then, so for example, then if you're then walking down the street, you've got two people.

And one is very confident that they're worth protecting and no one's going to attack me. Nothing is going to happen to me because I'm worth this. And then you've got someone else who's kind of very hard on themselves and they're kind of like, well, hopefully it won't happen to me, but as long as the kids are okay, they're in that kind of like a lower level mindset that projects outwardly.

you know, something we do talk about is confidence. And if you can be confident in your approach, the way you walk, the way you hold yourself, the way you interact with people in relationships, then it sends out a clear signal and a clear energy which people pick up on that, okay, I'm not going to mess with this person because they're not going to be an easy target. They're not going to be an easy fight, an easy pushover for me.

because they are confident and I won't choose them as my victim because we do know that predators do profile their victims and they don't want someone that's going to fight them back. They want someone that's going to be easy to do whatever horrible thing it is they want to do to them. So I think that kind of rolls into that confidence element as well then.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (23:02)
Yeah, definitely mindset is everything, wherever you are in life, your mindset is so powerful. Because that's what will always push you through. And I can't remember, I know some good female instructors and I can't remember which one it was, but I remember them saying, and we doing some training in class, and a class of instructors and it was, she said, take your space upon this planet. I was like, that's pretty powerful.

Julie Waite (23:25)
That's good.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (23:26)
You and it's like, yeah, you're here. Take your space up. Own it. You deserve it. Stand strong in it. And yeah, I thought that's powerful. Yeah. Take your space up and people need you. They always say this, you know, why would you do certain things if you had to, know, a big one is children. And what would you do for your kids? Most mom, most good moms will straight off the bat. I'll do anything. Or some even say to me, I'll kill straight away.

Julie Waite (23:31)
Mm.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (23:53)
Like, well, that's powerful. Now who needs you? You know, if something happens to you, how does that affect the people around you? People depend on people. There's somebody that I hope there's somebody that depends on you that needs you, that loves you. Sure there is. And like I always say, well, it could be a cat, could be a dog, whatever's precious to you. But that mindset, knowing that somebody needs you there in their life and you're worth defending, worth protecting, worth taking up your space on this planet.

That's powerful.

Julie Waite (24:25)
Absolutely. And that kind of leads into the last truth of this session, which is skills, determination and mindset are more important than strength. And this is something that we hear a lot and something that people comment on social media. They kind of say, oh, women won't be able to protect themselves because they're smaller, they're weaker, they're this, they're that. They couldn't fight off a guy that's, you know, bigger and stronger.

And what the truth of the matter is that if you've got the skills and the mindset and the determination, then that is way more important than strength. time and time again, we've seen examples of that. There's one that's always stuck with me, a case in the US, a lady called Terra Newell, who was attacked, she was ambushed from behind, getting

loading shopping into her car in a deserted parking lot. And she was ambushed from behind by a guy. She was five foot two, he was six foot two. So he was a whole foot taller than her. I think he was 30 pounds heavier than her. And he stabbed her in the back twice before she even knew anything was going on. And you kind of think, you know, if it was true that strength is more important than determination and mindset.

she wouldn't have stood a chance because he's bigger than her, he's stronger than her and he's already stabbed her twice. However, she was so determined and she was so fierce and I don't believe she had any self defence training but she just had those other elements of mindset and determination. She fought him back and she was like, there's no way this guy is gonna end things for me like this and she knew, she had history with him, so she knew.

He was trying to kill her because they'd had some family disputes and things going on. And she fought back. She managed to get the knife off him and she stabbed him and he died a few days later in hospital. And she just, when she's been interviewed about it numerous times afterwards, she just said, like, I just knew there was no way it was happening to me. And she didn't necessarily know what she was doing. She just fought back and she was so determined that she came out.

the winner of that fight, which you would think, if you saw it on paper, you'd think she got no chance. So, given the fact that then you can get a lot of training, can learn target areas in the body that are kind of vulnerable that you can target, there's other skills that we teach that can really help people. It's not a of a done deal that because someone's small and not strong that they can't.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (26:46)
Yeah.

Julie Waite (27:05)
defend themselves.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (27:07)
Yeah, understanding that is massive and having some training. I think there's a myth that you can do an hour of kicking and punching and then I've got self defence, I've got it nailed. When understanding the topic, so yeah, skills, determination, mindset are massively important, but also having time to do some training to more...

more understanding, more preparation. So you understand your ability as well. Yes, I'm not going to lie as always, I'm never going to lie. If somebody's bigger and stronger that works against you. Yes, strength and fitness and everything comes into play. course it does. But mindset is massive. I always say I want somebody 20 stone there, not 20 stone in the bicep or, know, because mindset is so important. Now share a story about my mum.

little petite woman she's 83 now bless her she shared a story that happened to her many years ago when i was i think i was eight my sister was 12 locking up pub that my mum and dad used to run my dad was elsewhere they'd had a kind of celebration christmas invited the staff members in to say thank you one of the ladies the cleaner ladies her husband apparently hid in the toilets and he ambushed attacked my mum and

So my mom's very small and petite. She's done no punching or kicking. She's done no martial arts, no boxing, no boxer size, none of that. She fought a guy off who was apparently bigger than me, and I'm about 6'2", 6'3", fought him off without any other skills. But she had the mindset. She had two kids upstairs. My dad wasn't there. I don't even know if my dad ever knew about this, because she'd only spoke about it to us recently.

Julie Waite (28:33)
I'm not sure.

.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (28:52)
I thought is very powerful because of her mindset.

She was like, no chance, no way, not today. It's not happening. You know, and she was attacked from the back, grabbed by the hair, pulled down three steps, I think. So she was ambushed from behind, she turned into that, on the lioness, that warrior, um, and, and, you know, fought him off. So mindset is so important. You know, it's, it's one of the key things I would say that

Julie Waite (28:57)
Mm.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (29:22)
one of the sort of bigger ticks in the box if you like because that sets you up for a positive, yeah how you're positive in your life outlook and standing strong in what you're worth.

Julie Waite (29:34)
I think there's this, over the last couple of hundred years, there's been this positioning by the powers that be or the media or whatever that women are kind of weak, vulnerable, need to be protected, looked after and you know, kind of like women should stay, I know it's not so much like this now, but you know, you go back to like the 1940s and 50s, women should stay in the home, do the cooking.

do the gentle things. But I know you've looked back through history and maybe we'll talk about this on another podcast in more detail. women aren't like that. Like back through history, women have been fierce like warriors. Like you think, look at things like the Spartans, the Amazonians, that like women are strong and you can do these things if you can believe in yourself.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (30:12)
Yeah.

self-belief that self-worth and taking the time to do a bit of education to do some training to get more knowledge to go and a minute I'm a lot more powerful than I thought I was because I've looked into it rather than assuming got to be a black belt you've got to have years of training and stuff like that again you if you're listening to this or watching it you've done something right because you're still with us yeah so you know we have all the abilities within us

is just looking into them a bit more, highlighting certain things, a bit more education on the reality of what's going on out there, options, and looking at...

that knowledge in an empowering way to go, do you know what? Yeah, I am worthy of looking after myself. I can, and that can resonate and also keep the people around me safer as well.

Julie Waite (31:15)
Yeah, so we'll leave it there because we want to be conscious of people's time and we'll do some more episodes where we'll go into more depth on these things. I hope those five truths have opened your eyes to a few things. Maybe just take a moment to reflect on anything that's like shifted with you, anything you think, OK, I need to start thinking differently about this or acting differently. We'll leave you just with a few.

and steps that you can start to build into your everyday life. So the first one we'd say start with awareness. So just start being aware of what's going on around you when you're out and about. Make sure that you're present, know, put your phone away, put your headphones away. Start noticing people and their behaviours and the environment that you're in. Start looking at the different places that you go to and thinking about where's my exit here.

what's the kind of the energy of the place that I'm in. That's like a good way to start being more switched on to what's going on around you and to be aware and avoid situations. The second thing that I think everyone, I don't know that anyone who's really like 100 % on this is to just start setting your boundaries and really practice.

like saying no to things that make you uncomfortable. We're all a bit too like that, particularly people in the UK who are just like, just brought up to be like super polite. Just try saying no to things that make you uncomfortable, maybe start with something small and that's like a really good way to make sure that you keep yourself safe.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (32:55)
Just remember, no is a full sentence. I always say this. If you don't want to do something, no is no. No is no, you have to explain it why. It's like, no, I just don't want to do that. Thank you. I hope, yeah.

Julie Waite (32:59)
Yeah, I guess.

And then,

and then like the last thing is just thinking about prevention, not reaction. So just making those small choices every day. You don't want to be reactive to things you want to be like preventing things from going on around you. And things like choosing safer routes, making sure you're fully prepared and making sure you listen to your gut instinct as well. And just trying to...

Just think with that self-defence mindset. You don't have to be fearful, you don't have to be aggressive. It's more about being confident and feeling empowered in your life.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (33:39)
It's definitely don't you know, don't look at being paranoid, look at as it being powerful and yeah, yeah, powerful and empowering, not paranoid because taking time just to think about where you go what you do, like a risk assessment, if you like, you know, there's a risk to lots of things we do in life. But if you can limit that or be kind to yourself by just giving it a bit of thought, then you're in a better position.

Julie Waite (34:05)
Great. So that's it for today's episode. If you want to join our community, we will share a link below where you can join our email newsletter and you will get 30 % off our online self defence courses. You'll also get a free guide, 50 street safety tips you can't ignore, and then you'll get monthly self defence tips straight to your inbox. And if you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe.

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