What To Do If You Feel Like You Are Being Followed

Ever had that gut feeling someone’s following you? Your instincts might be right — and this episode teaches you exactly what to do.

Julie Waite and self-defence expert Dene Josham (former bodyguard to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt) walk you through step-by-step actions to stay safe if you sense you're being followed.

Learn how to confirm the threat, escape safely, stay mentally ahead, and protect yourself in a confrontation — without relying on tools alone.

 “If it feels wrong, it probably is — your body knows before your brain catches up.” 

🎧 Want to feel safer, stronger, and more prepared?
Join our community of women taking back control of their safety — and get instant access to our free self defense and safety tip downloads.

👉 Head to Streetwise Defence to grab your free resources and start your journey today.

💡 PS – As a podcast listener, you also get 25% off our 7 Day Self Defence for Women course. Just use the code PODCAST25 when you’re ready.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Personal Safety Awareness
• 0:27 Understanding the Reality of Being Followed
• 5:53 Recognizing Signs of Being Followed
• 11:00 Options for Responding to Threats
• 15:59 Physical Responses to Assault
• 21:06 Conclusion and Key Takeaways

Transcript

Julie Waite (00:00)

Imagine this, you're walking home, maybe it's late, maybe it's just a quiet street, but something feels off. You hear footsteps behind you. Are they getting closer? You glance over your shoulder, but nothing seems obvious. Your heart starts racing. You tell yourself you're overreacting, that it's probably just someone heading in the same direction. But that little voice inside is saying, what if I'm not? What if I'm being followed? What should I do? We've all had that gut feeling.

that sudden sense of unease that something isn't right, but do you know what to do if you're actually being followed? This is one of the most common questions we're asked. So today we're breaking down how to recognise if you're being followed, how to analyse the situation step by step and how to take control so you can stay safe, confident and in control. Welcome to Self-Defence for Women, Live an Empowered Life, the podcast that helps you stay safe, feel strong.

and take control of your personal security, both physically and emotionally.

I'm Julie Waite and alongside me is Dene Josham, self defence expert with over 30 years experience and former bodyguard of Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt and Russell Crowe. Together we're here to share real world strategies, expert insights and practical tips to help you build confidence, set boundaries and navigate the world with strength. If you find this podcast helpful, be sure to subscribe and leave us a review. It really helps us reach more women like you. Now let's dive in.

So today we're covering what to do if you're being followed and we are going to go through this step by step. But first I just wanted to start off by sharing a little story of an advert that I saw the other day. So I think it was on Instagram or something and it was an advert and it was a woman on her own on a quiet country lane and she was walking along and she was looking behind her and she was looking panicked and she was going, my God, my God, my God, I don't feel safe. I'm being followed. my God, my God.

And it was a good advert because it got my adrenaline going and I was like, God, what's going to happen next? And then the next kind of shot was her activating a panic button on a key chain, one of these little clicker things that's linked to a phone app. And then she goes, kind of like, great, I'm safe now. I feel so much better now. And I was half kind of like laughing and half going like, are you kidding me?

Is this what we're selling to people as an idea of being safe? That if you click a button, that some kind of team of people or someone is going to come and rescue you, even though you're on a country footpath. You know, unless you've kind of got some sort of like mission impossible team that's going to drop down from a helicopter and save you within, you know, 30 seconds a minute of you activating this alarm.

I just feel like it's giving people a false sense of security and I just wanted to kind of cover that before we get into the detail because there's this idea out there that there's like these quick fixes for walking home safely and I see a lot of these adverts like phone safety apps, alarms, different things and while there's a place for them, I think if people think that because I've got a panic button or phone app, I can press that and I'll be fine.

Well, what happens when you actually press it? You know, how long is it going to take people to get to you, even if you're connected up to emergency services as some of them are, are they going to take 10 minutes, 20 minutes, half an hour? And for me, I just wanted to kind of get the point across that you have to take responsibility for your own safety. There's no quick fixes. And that's what we're here to kind of share today, that if you take these steps and you be aware and you know how to look after yourself, you can use all these things as well.

But you don't rely on them. Don't think someone is going to come and save you. So I've just have a little rant there because I saw that advert and I thought it was quite irresponsible actually because there will be people that have gone and bought that and think I can click the button and I'll be safe. And you're in the middle of nowhere on a country path on your own. Like you have to deal with the situation. So that's my little rant over with. I'm sure you'll want to kind of say something on that that Dene.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (04:10)

Yeah, everything can help, but relying on something like that...

You have to look at the reality and how quick things really happen. Like I said, then unless you've got, you know, mission impossible, Tom Cruise jumping out of a bus or fast roping down within 30 seconds, you've still got to look after yourself for that period of time. So yes, it's good to have these panic apps and things, but if we solely rely on that, then we're in for a massive shock because reality isn't like that. And like you said, then, you know, even if you ring the emergency services, that's going to take time, you know, and that's the response time to get to you. And you've still got to stay safe for that period.

of time. yeah, it's a little bit leads people to into a false sense of security when you've got to look at the reality and that's what we're dealing with.

Julie Waite (04:51)

Yeah. So I think just to start out by thinking, right, I am self-reliant. If I'm walking home at night, if I'm walking the dog in the countryside, whatever it is, if I'm out jogging, I'm self-reliant. I need to think that I am going to fix this situation and I can't just get a panic app or an alarm and think, oh, that's ticked off, job done. I think that's where people then get into trouble because something does happen and you press the button or you set off the alarm and they're still coming at you. And what are you going to do then?

So all of that said, what are the things that we need to consider if you do think you're being followed? What are the things that you need to think about?

Dene - Streetwise Defence (05:33)

Where you are and what you're doing. Depending where you are, as always, your environment, what's going on around you, what time of day, what time of night it is, what you've been doing, where you're going. For me, always say distance is your friend. If you think you're being followed, then keep that distance because if I can't physically put my hands on you, then I can't physically hurt you.

Julie Waite (05:53)

So are you on a country path with no one around you? So in that case, you know you are going to have to rely on your own skills. Are you in a city where you could walk into a late night cafe or shop or taxi rank or something? Are you in a dodgy part of town? Are there any people around? Are the cars on the road? And then it's thinking about...

Dene - Streetwise Defence (05:58)

then.

Julie Waite (06:20)

we'll come to it in a bit, knowing where you are and what's happening, you can then know what options you've got available to you.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (06:27)

I think you've got to be realistic as well. You've got to know your environment. You've got to potentially maybe do a little bit of understanding, research.

Like you said then, where's the sketchy part of town? Can I avoid that? Just being kinder to yourself. Anything I've ever done professionally and privately, know, it's understanding where I am, what's going on around me, the environment, the expectations, how that changes day and night, and being aware of that because the more aware you are, the more things you can do to stay safer.

Julie Waite (06:56)

And then the other thing is that you need to kind of know what the motivation is of someone that is following you. So if someone is following you, it's likely there's only going to be two things that they want. One is that they want your belongings, so they want to rob your phone, your bag, whatever, jewellery. Or the other one is that they're after you and it's some sort of sexual assault of some kind.

an attack of some kind. then there's two very different responses based on that and we'll come to that later what to do in each of those options. But I think if you, again, if you know that, then you, if you, when you get into a situation, you can then think, right, well, which response do I need?

Dene - Streetwise Defence (07:23)

Yeah.

Yeah, definitely. think it's also, you know, thinking about a plan B. I always call it the what if game. What if this happens? What if that happens?

If you look at that in a safe environment and you speak about it to other people, friends, colleagues, family members, whoever that you trust, and talk about a situation, go, well, what actually if I was being followed, what would you do? What would I do? Okay, where are we? Let's play this game. Okay, I could do this, I could do that. What would you do? That sharing of knowledge might give you different ideas or never thought about that. That's a good idea. And then you kind of expand on your internal reality of what you could actually do rather than fingers crossed,

that won't ever happen and if you are in that situation then you go in know in this flat spin panic adrenaline everything else you dealing with you know what do I do what do do because there's no thought being given to it in thinking on your feet which adds more stress you know and potentially your responses wouldn't be as good as if you've thought about it before even though it can be uncomfortable doing it in a safe environment you can kind of play that game knowing that you're safe and you can explore different options that you might have or you never thought about.

Julie Waite (08:48)

And we quite often get asked, how do you know if you're being followed? What's your thoughts on that?

Dene - Streetwise Defence (08:52)

Hmm.

It's kind of a gut feeling as well if you do think you're being followed. Simple things like speeding up. Does that person or persons, do they speed up if you cross the road? Do they cross the road? These kind of like red flags giving you an indicator that actually, if I've crossed the road, why would they cross it? I'm speeding up, why would they speed up? And it kind of gives you that.

You're trying to look for bit more justification to go, actually, I might have a problem here. And then as as you've done, as soon as one or two things have happened and you go, yeah, then, you know, it's take action, do something, you know, not this kind of denial, oh, but it can't possibly, you know, it wouldn't happen here. And I think, well, okay, let's hope it doesn't, but it's better to take action, get away, get somewhere safe, and then avoid it rather than just fingers crossed.

Julie Waite (09:39)

Yeah, I think as well, just considering if you've seen them somewhere before, because if it is a personal attack, like a sexual assault or something like that, they may have been an opportunist, they may have been watching you, they might have followed you out of a shop, they might have followed you from the train station, you might have seen them around a few times. So if you have seen them, then that can be an indication that someone's been watching you or following you.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (09:44)

Mm.

Yes, identifying I think as well if that person's known to you, have you seen them before, if you think you've seen them before, if you think you have, guarantee you have. You know, is it a friend? Even a friend in a situation where remote, I think you still have to be kind of wary a little bit because you're remote and as statistics show, know, round about 90 % of attackers are known to us. So it's horrible to say that, but we have to be realistic with the statistics out there.

Julie Waite (10:30)

Yeah. And so if you've kind of, you do think you are being followed and you've got pretty good sense that, yeah, I need to do something about this. I think a lot of people don't realize they've got quite a few different options. So I think if we go through some of these options and that'll help people know that they have got choices and there are things that they can do if they think they're being followed. So should we go through like some of those?

Dene - Streetwise Defence (10:53)

Yeah, yeah,

So yeah, if you think you've been followed and you've done a few things and event.

followed or even if you're not sure but you want to take action then what's your environment like? What's around you? Like Julie said a minute ago you know if it's late at night is it a late night cafe, it a McDonald's? know where there's people you know potentially with more people there people might come and assist also it might deter that person or persons because there's other people around there other witnesses not as a guarantee that anyone might help you but with people around you and potentially you can you know put that person off.

Julie Waite (11:26)

But if you're not, if you're just walking down a street, you could obviously, there's like speeding up, crossing the road and starting running would be my things. Like don't be embarrassed just to start running. I know a lot of people feel a bit like, oh, well if I'm running and they're not, you know, they're just a nice person and that'll be awkward or whatever, but just, just start running.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (11:29)

Hmm.

Julie Waite (11:49)

and then you'll know very quickly if they start running, then you've got a problem. If they don't start running, then you're putting in distance, like Dene said, distance is your friend, you're putting a good bit of distance between you and them. You're crossing the road, you're maybe turning and taking a different street, obviously not a quiet street, but if you turn the street and then they turn the street and you turn another street and they turn the street, it's giving you an indication that you have got quite a significant problem.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (12:15)

I think also as well, someone shared something with me.

I can't give too much detail, but two people asked this person a question from across the road. This person, who was a young person, didn't engage, just ran. Because the question didn't fit the environment and it was a bit strange and weird, but the young person didn't engage with the other two people and just ran. And I was like, that's perfect because that doesn't fit in. You don't have to reply back. You don't have to engage. That's an option. But yeah, he ran and he was safe.

Julie Waite (12:41)

Mmm.

Yeah. And if you have got an attack alarm as well, I've got these on all my bags. I have one here actually. There we go. Just a little one like this. I'll put links below for some of these that we recommend. And it's got strobing light. It's very, very loud. If you've got an attack alarm, I would activate it early on. And we're always clear that attack alarms aren't...

necessarily the solution, you know, they're not going to fight someone off for you, but if you use it early on, it could well deter them and it could get attention for you. So don't wait until someone's up close to you. It's too late then to start thinking about that. If someone gets up close to you, what you have to do is then start thinking about physically defending yourself, which we'll talk about in a minute. But if you have got an attack alarm or if you've got a panic app, activate them early.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (13:28)

Thank

Thank

Julie Waite (13:38)

But don't get distracted like fumbling around looking for things because you need to be keeping moving. Like if you've got that on the outside

of your bag, you just pull it off you've got that noise, you've got the flashing light and you should or could deter them depending on what their motivations are.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (13:48)

you know.

Yeah, a couple things to remember, know, potentially these kinds of people don't want to get caught, don't want to get hurt. So making noise and stuff, obviously that might deter them. I know you can do a panic app on your phone that can relay to family members or your partner or somebody. For me, that's the best.

Panic app to have now somebody hit a panic app and I was hearing it Signaled I would just go I wouldn't even say anything. I'm gone. I'm go. I've got a GPS Coordinates on the phone. I know where that person is I'm gonna drop everything could get in my car and get there faster than any police Potentially or anybody or the emergency services so, you know that panic app to somebody who knows just gonna stop everything and come straight to you That's probably gonna be the quickest response

Julie Waite (14:33)

Depending

on if that person has their phone with them, the battery's not dead, they're not an hour away, you're not in a field in the middle of nowhere, like I walk my dog a lot and I'm aware that it'd be very hard for someone to get to you by vehicle, so there's those things. Other things that you could do as well, you could if you're in an area where there's cars passing by.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (14:38)

Yeah, yeah, signal, yeah.

Julie Waite (14:58)

You could walk out into the middle of the road and flag a car down. Obviously you wouldn't ever get into a car because you don't know who's in there. But that is going to get some attention. And if someone's following you and you're in the middle of the road trying to flag a car down, they're probably thinking they'll get caught. You could go and knock on someone's front door. Again, you wouldn't ever go in the house, but you could go and knock on the door. If there's a door with a light on.

There's quite a lot of different options there. You can run, you can set off an alarm, a panic app, you can go into a shop or a cafe, flag down a car, ask if there's a passerby. Just say, I'm scared someone's following me, can you help? got

Dene - Streetwise Defence (15:41)

Yeah, it's like with shops and things, can they go in and speak to an assistant or the manager and say, look, think somebody's following me. Can I stay here? Can you know, can I stay here for 10 minutes while I make a phone call or someone comes to pick me up or can I sit in the back out the way? There's, know, thinking a little bit outside the box, things you probably wouldn't normally do,

Julie Waite (15:59)

Yeah, mean that knocking on the door, I did that as a kid. Myself and my friend were out playing and we got chased by this guy and it was a really scary situation. We'd not been told to do that, that was just a natural instinct. We were on our bikes, we just dumped our bikes and ran and knocked on a house. Thankfully for us, there was a nice lady answered who had kids and we went in for 10 minutes and then she took us back out and he'd gone.

I wouldn't be advising anyone to go into anyone's house, but that's just what we did at the time, not thinking. So I want to cover, like, if you haven't managed to get away from them and the person gets up to you and you've then got some sort of interaction with them, we said there's those two options earlier. They're either after your stuff or they're after you personally.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (16:35)

So I want to see if you can get a bit of a sense of what you are and you doing.

Julie Waite (16:51)

So if it is a street robbery, how would you suggest that someone deals with that?

Dene - Streetwise Defence (17:00)

is more valuable than any possessions you've got, even if you've got a Ferrari, for me, you're irreplaceable, somebody needs you, somebody depends on you, for me, if somebody's after your possessions, give them up.

you can replace them, you've got insurance, you can get new stuff. As uncomfortable, as irritating as that might be, that's just stuff. You cannot be replaced. So for me, if they're after my stuff, fine, it's gone. If they're after me physically, for me it's a different response

Julie Waite (17:29)

Yeah, so like Dene said, if they want your phone, your bag, whatever, give it to them, try and stay calm and non-confrontational. Once you've given them the item, whatever it is they want, you want to start trying to get away, get some distance between you and just keep an eye out on them that, you you might have given them your bag, but they might then decide they want to do something else. They might change it from, I wanted your stuff, but now I'm going to try and assault you. So just make sure that you keep an eye on them.

try and get away as soon as you can and then make sure you report it. Not necessarily because the service isn't going to do anything about it but you'll need to get police crime numbers for insurance and things like that and it is good to report these things so that police can see if there's patterns and things that's happening in a certain area.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (18:14)

page.

I would say as well if they're after my stuff like my phone, if I can I would fumble it rather than pass it to them.

just because I'd still want to try and keep that distance. Although it might be very difficult if they've got quite right close up to you somehow. You know, if I can fumble it, then I know if they really want my stuff, they're going to go for my stuff. That might give me a few seconds to run away. And if they're all there after is my stuff, my phone, my wallet, then they're not going to be bothered about me running away because I've got what they wanted. But if they want me and they're trying to deceive me to get close enough, then that might be what they're trying to do is get close enough to grab me. It's a tricky one because obviously there's a lot of

going on but potentially I would try not to hand it to them but I might have to depending on what's going on. So a judgment call at the time which is a tricky one for anybody.

Julie Waite (19:04)

And then we've got that scenario then if someone has got up to you for whatever reason and they're actually trying to get physical with you, they're trying to assault you, maybe they're trying to drag you into some bushes or an alleyway or something like that. And that's the moment then, like Dene said, that you have to go into this really ferocious fight mode. You have to get the mindset. We talked about that in episode one. Go and have a look at that. You have to get this mindset that.

this person is trying to hurt me and you don't know what their ultimate end goal of that is. And you've got to do whatever you can and whatever seems appropriate to get away from them. So what's...

I was just going to say, like, if we can give people a few steps, obviously we can't teach full self defence lesson here. If people want to do that, we have got an online course, Self Defence for Women, which I'll link below, have a look at, because we've got loads of demo videos of what to do and things like how to get out of a hair grab, a rear grab, if someone gets you pinned on the ground, if someone's trying to strangle you, we've got demos for all of those things. But if we had to give a summary of what do people physically do.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (19:53)

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Looking for soft tissue damage, meaning the face area, eyes, throat, all this squishy stuff around here because like for me, I'm quite a big guy, but my stuff isn't any tougher than yours. So realizing these vulnerabilities we have, you the eyes, the throat, obviously the groin area as well, depending on the sex of the person, all these soft tissue areas that you can create damage with these.

and keeping it simple, basic and pretty raw. It's one of those things as well, depending on the person or persons, if they've had drugs, like this, hitting them, punching them might not be effective because the physical state, they're in an emotional state, so you might have to actually create damage, mess with the visions, shut down the system as well, the airway, things like that, that will stop that person.

it basic, simple, you can access these areas, whether they're close, you know, that close proximity of somebody, you can access them quite easily as well.

Julie Waite (21:06)

think, like Dene said, don't think about trying to punch or kick or anything like that. Just use your hands and do whatever damage you can do to, like as Dene said, those soft tissue areas. Scratch, bite, rip, shred, spit in the face, like go into that kind of like really, really savage scream, make as much noise as you can. you want to be like this absolute of ball of chaos and...

Dene - Streetwise Defence (21:23)

Yeah.

Julie Waite (21:33)

power and ferociousness that like they are going to think, hang on a minute, this person isn't a pushover, I don't really want to get my eyes ripped out, my throat pulled out, my groin destroyed, so they clear off. So you've really got to go full power, full savage.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (21:48)

Yeah.

Julie Waite (21:52)

and really, really go for it if you're in that kind of situation because you're potentially fighting for your life or fighting not to be sexually assaulted.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (21:58)

Yeah,

yeah, it's a difficult one, isn't it? Because there's no right or wrong response. It's a personal response. You know, that's.

peoples might be compliant as long as you survive. But then there's a lot of consequences to that and the aftermath and things like like everything. yeah, it's a real difficult one because it's obviously individual and what that person is comfortable with and everything. There's lot of dynamics to it.

Julie Waite (22:09)

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean,

like Dene said, that's what we would suggest, but you've got to do what it takes to survive and what you feel you can do in that moment. And there's no shame or blame ever on any victims. The shame and blame is on the perpetrator. Although I will say that statistically, women that fight back come out of these situations better off than women that are compliant. Not every time, but statistically, because I know sometimes people think,

Dene - Streetwise Defence (22:32)

Yeah. No. Yeah.

Definitely.

Yeah.

Julie Waite (22:49)

or they'll hurt me more if I fight back. That is not what the statistics show. So that's worth knowing.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (22:56)

think also it's important to realise that the statistics show that women that fight back violently, more chances of surviving and getting away but also the process, the trauma after the PTSD and stuff because it's shown that people that don't fight back kind of beat themselves up when they revisit it. They I shouldn't have done this, why didn't I do that? And it's like that's what you did at a time to survive, that's what you did and that worked. But yeah, fighting back violently has some other elements as well.

Julie Waite (23:21)

And then obviously once they're incapacitated enough that you need to then run, get away. So that's the aim. The aim is to be able to incapacitate them enough so that you can get away. Legally, you need to do what is reasonable, appropriate, proportionate and necessary. it's kind of like, but if you're in a street late at night and someone's dragging you in the bushes, to me, that's like a full fight response.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (23:25)

Hmm. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Julie Waite (23:48)

but

that's just the legal position, but you've got to do what you need to do to get away. So I hope that is helpful. know we've kind of run through that really quickly, but like I said, we've got a lot more information on our Self Defence for Women course. We've got loads of information online, so take a look at that. If you wanted a few actions to take away from today, I would say if you've not got a personal safety alarm, get one, get the panic app.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (23:53)

Yeah.

Julie Waite (24:15)

maybe get a little torch for in your pocket as well, and then just visualize yourself responding to those two different scenarios that we talked about. Visualize what you would do, where you would go, and how you would deal with that. So, Dene, anything else to add on that?

Dene - Streetwise Defence (24:29)

So, you have anything to share with

them? I think just give it some thought as uncomfortable as it is, play the what if game with your friends, get this conversation out there because I'm pretty sure most women's, one of the main concerns is being followed home. Get other people's opinion and talk about it. Can you do something together? Yeah, share that knowledge, share that discussion and get some good conversations going. That's going to help everybody.

Julie Waite (24:54)

Yeah. And on the subjects of sharing, please share this with some of the women in your life that you want to keep safe. If you like the podcast, find it helpful, please give us a review or follow us. Also, you'll see below there's a link to sign up to our email newsletter. You get 30 % off our courses and you'll get our guide, 50 street safety tips you can't ignore. So that's it for today. Thanks for your time and we'll see you again soon.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (25:19)

Thanks