Self Defence for Women - Live an Empowered Life

Child Safety: The Danger Hotspots Every Parent Needs to Know

• Julie Waite & Dene Josham • Season 1 • Episode 10

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In this eye-opening episode, Julie and Dene break down the most overlooked yet high-risk places children face danger — from trusted family members and online predators to public toilets, sleepovers, and the school run. With real stories, powerful stats (like 90% of abuse cases involve someone the child knows), and actionable safety tips, this is a must-listen for parents who want to protect their children without fear-mongering. Learn how to have difficult conversations, build safety routines, and teach your child to trust their gut. 

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Julie Waite (00:00)
Welcome to Self Defence for Women, Live an Empowered Life, the podcast that helps you stay safe, feel strong, and take control of your personal security physically and emotionally. I'm Julie Waite, Women's Safety Advocate, and alongside me is self-defense expert Dene Josham, former bodyguard of Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, and Russell Crowe. Just before we start, we have a small request. If you find our podcast helpful, please hit the subscribe button and leave us a review.

We're a new podcast and it really helps us reach more women like you. So when we talk about keeping children safe, our minds often jump to the strangers lurking in the shadows, but the real danger is often much closer to home, hiding in plain sight.

In today's episode, we're breaking down the top danger zones for children from family gatherings and sleepovers to the digital world and the school run. Some of what you'll hear may surprise you, but it's not about fear. It's about awareness, prevention and protecting our kids with calm, clear action and honest conversations. We'll share the latest statistics, real world insights and what every parent needs to know because knowledge isn't just about power. It's about protection.

So the top danger zone that we believe and that statistically appears to be the most dangerous situation for children, and it's such a horrible thing to have to think about, but it's family, friends, and people that you know because according to statistics, I've got one here I'm going to read out for you from the NSPCC in 2023 in the UK, 90 % of sexually abused children were abused by someone they knew.

and around one in 20 children they believe have been sexually abused. it's not, you want to be able to trust all your family and friends and people that you know, so, you know, clubs that they go to, school clubs, hobbies, but that statistically is where these things happen. I'm guessing because there's a level of trust there, there's maybe some unsupervised access there.

And it's just such a horrible thing to have to think about, but you do need to be aware of that, don't you?

Dene - Streetwise Defence (02:18)
Yeah, sad isn't it? Yeah, them report statistics. And like I said, they're what isn't reported. And it's such a difficult topic

So knowing that, like for me as a parent, I'm very aware and play more close attention to the interactions of people just to make sure, you know, there's nothing that gives me that sort of worry or concern or something's off. Because that's where the danger is. You know, we don't leave our kids on their own. They're normally with somebody we know trust, liking care, or they're with a group or doing some activity. You don't just let them wander around on the streets normally on their own.

Julie Waite (02:42)
Yeah.

It's not even that though, wandering around on the streets, is it? That's not the issue. I mean, obviously there is an issue there, but the issue is, how do you, for me, and this is something that I've been aware of, I've been very aware of this since my kids were little, how do you know who you can trust within your family and friends? And it's a horrible thing to have to look at members of your family, grandparents, aunts, uncles.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (03:14)
Yeah.

Julie Waite (03:20)
family friends to have to look at them and think, you know, how much do you trust these people and how it's trusting them and then, you know, what kind of access are they going to have? Because you do, you you see these things in the news and it is, it's someone that people are surprised that they didn't think it would be that family member.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (03:49)
Yes

Julie Waite (03:49)
It's hard

because it makes you think, who can I trust? It's a very, very difficult topic.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (03:55)
It does,

I must admit for me, does make me look at every individual that comes into contact with people, kids that I know or my kids. Because I think you have to pay attention to detail because that's where the biggest danger is. So it's not scaremongering. It's like, this is where the danger is. Let's look at it closely and be very aware of that. Not that we're judging anybody, but we just know that's what the statistics tell us.

Julie Waite (03:59)
Mm.

Yeah. No.

think as well, a massive part of it has got to be like trusting your gut instinct. If you just get any sense of something or someone being a little bit weird or the child doesn't want to go to them or doesn't seem excited to go and see them, although even then, you know, it depends on how they've groomed them and what they've said to them, they could be excited to go and see them because they don't, the kids don't understand. I know there's this... ⁓

Dene - Streetwise Defence (04:35)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Julie Waite (04:50)
kind of, you sometimes feel a bit embarrassed, you know, if the kids won't go and give the family member a hug or, you know, sometimes older family members kind of say, oh, come and sit on my knee or come and give us a hug or a kiss and the kids don't want to and, you know, don't make that. I I have been guilty of that in the past. Oh, go on then, go and give them a hug or go and do that. Now I know what I know in more detail. I don't, I won't do that, but.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (05:03)
Yeah.

Don't make him.

Yeah. Yeah.

Julie Waite (05:20)
if the child doesn't feel comfortable going to that person, then you have to kind of advocate for them and say, you know, we just allow them to give a hug when they feel comfortable with it because we're trying to teach them about what feels comfortable and we're not trying to push them into things that they don't feel comfortable doing with their body. So, and you'd have to hope the relatives would understand that and if they don't, well, that's their issue that they have to deal with.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (05:28)
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah

And also,

also that's another ⁓ indicator that there might be a problem. If somebody takes offense, any good human being, any good adult, if a kid doesn't want to hug you, then you don't take offense. It's okay. There might not be a huggy kid or person. don't, know, people I don't you know, because I'm not comfortable. And it's like, if you're not comfortable, you got to back your child up and go and step in there. So the child doesn't feel attacked or anything. go, no, no hugs today. That's fine.

you know, whatever it is best for the child and then speak to the adult on their own and go and look, don't put my kid on the spot. If my kid doesn't want to hug you, don't try and override that by saying something manipulative. And then from that in conversation as well, that'll probably tell you a lot about the person as well that might help you, you know, give you some sense of that. And then if it's a good person, you know, they're going to change that.

Julie Waite (06:22)
Mm.

Yeah. And also having real open conversations with children from a very young age about a couple of really key rules that you may already use or something to think about is no secrets. That's an important one. And the pants rule, which is there's loads about that on the NSPCC website, if you want to look that up and they've got like videos and songs and things to make it fun for the kids. But

Dene - Streetwise Defence (06:59)
Yeah.

Julie Waite (07:04)
Basically, the pants rule is that no one should ever touch you or ask to see where you wear your pants or your vest, and they shouldn't show you theirs. And then the secrets is just about trying to make sure that if anyone ever tries to get them to keep a secret, they know that from the outset, the rule is we don't have secrets. We don't do secrets. Secrets are bad.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (07:27)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's ownership

as well. think it's getting your child to understand ownership of themselves, their bodies, their body. You know, I know as parents, you when they're little, we do things, but you know, you can explain that to your child when, you know, to sort of make them aware of that and say, no, your body is your body and your voice is very strong and powerful. And also looking at that communications massive, isn't it? Making sure them lines of communications are always open. Something happened to me when I was younger.

Julie Waite (07:34)
Mm-hmm.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (07:56)
And now I reflect on that. No one's fault. I just didn't have any form of communication.

line of communication to be able to speak to an adult because I didn't know, I know it's like, what, you know, I couldn't process it. Didn't know, you know, was that right? Was that wrong? Didn't, talk to anybody because of who it was and things like that. it is, and looking back now, I blocked it out for quite a lot of years and I'm like, wow, looking back at it, I'm like, And it's always, now for us, it's not about us, it's about our kids, giving them that confidence.

Julie Waite (08:07)
Mmm.

Yeah.

Yeah. And something that I've started doing in recent years is before we go somewhere and then on the way back from somewhere or before someone comes to the house or afterwards, I'll just say to them, like if they're going around to a friend's or a family or whatever, I'll just say to them, just remember that nobody should ever make you do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Say anything to you, ask you to do anything.

Remember, you know, they shouldn't show you privates, there should be none of that. And then on the way back as well, I'll say, how was that? Or, you know, if they've been for to stay with relatives, whatever it is, I'll say, how was that? Did anything happen? Was there anything that made you feel uncomfortable? Are you sure? You can tell me anything. No, we're not getting in trouble. We'll talk about it and we'll sort it all out together. So every single time before and after we, they kind of...

Dene - Streetwise Defence (09:14)
Yeah. Yeah.

Julie Waite (09:26)
There's that unsupervised access with people. just give them the reminder before and then give them an opportunity afterwards just to try and give them that chance if something has happened.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (09:38)
And also I think now with phones and that most depending on obviously a child's age, you know, access to a phone, if they've got their own phone, then it's having some form of understanding between you that if you send me something, then I know I need to come and get you.

So yeah as a parent I want to share this story and I thought it was massive. It was a male teacher at an all-girls school and he shared this story. He'd asked the class of young women would you tell your dad. All the women apart from one, all the young women said no no wouldn't tell my dad. The woman who's the young woman who said yeah I'll tell my dad. She shared the story that her dad had said to her as long as you're safe that's all that matters to me. I will come and get you anytime anyplace anywhere.

or not ask you what's gone on as long as you're safe. What happened is she'd gone out with a group of friends, she'd gone to the local park, another group of friends came and she felt uncomfortable. So she sent emoji to her dad, which was a signal to her dad to come and pick her up, because she didn't want to write, like, help dad come and get me in case the phone was taken and her friends made fun and all this. So the dad turned up, be the bad guy, hey, you've got to come home, you haven't done your homework, blah, blah. So she saved face with her friends.

Got her in the car and said, are you okay? And she was going, yeah, I'm okay, dad. Okay, great. Took her home, didn't ask her. I think it was about two, she said about two weeks had passed and she was like, dad, you haven't asked me. They turned around said, I promised you, as long as you're all right, you don't have to tell me. And she told him the story and she said, I want to tell you dad, because what happened was the other group of friend that came, one of them had some drugs and she goes, I was really uncomfortable. I couldn't really get out of it. So that's why I messaged you to come and get me.

And I thought, wow, how powerful is that? Because the trust there that he wasn't going to ask as long as she's safe, that's all this concern is. But also on the other side, the daughter not fearing her father's emotional physical reaction. You know, because if we it's all about kids, if we emotionally get all angry and you know, you you're just going to shut down because potentially that could be pretty scary. And also they're not going to tell you because they know you're going to flare up. Also, if you are going to go around and grab him and

Julie Waite (11:33)
Yeah.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (11:48)
sort them out they're going to worry about the physical response because they don't want the dad the mum the parent the guardian whoever to be arrested to go to prison so yeah yeah massive

Julie Waite (11:57)
Yeah, and if it's someone that they know, a loved one, they've got conflicting feelings because they

don't want the friend or the family member to get beaten up by the mum or dad.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (12:05)
Yeah, yeah, and that's, that's the other

element of, know, a child can, can be groomed over a period of time. And then that can be in a way that the child doesn't realize is wrong. And then the father, mother, the whoever says, if anybody does this to you, that's wrong. And all of a sudden the child's gone, well, now, and dad's going to do this to so and so that I love and care for. And now dad's telling me that wrong, but I love that person.

Julie Waite (12:26)
Hmm.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (12:31)
that was right and the child is going to a flat spin shut down. sort of reframing it in a way that if you know, saying to a child, if anyone does this, then you know, we need to talk about it because that person's not well, we need to help them. So you keep them lines of communication open. So your child knows that they can always come to you. And that goes across everything, can if somebody gets like an inappropriate picture sent.

It's not the child's fault but the child, your child needs to understand that that needs to be shown to you because then you can help that stop that from something happening to somebody else, potentially another child and that's wrong and it's not your fault.

Julie Waite (13:15)
Yeah, it's interesting you said about the picture then because the next danger hotspot beyond, you know, the family and friends, people that you know is online, which arguably is as dangerous as anything else these days because it's just absolutely full of predators and...

They can get so close, it's like thinking about they can just walk straight into your house and into your child's bedroom. That's how close they get to them. And you see in the news all the time, horrible cases. One of things happening to children, but then two of children taking their own lives, young children taking their own lives because they just are so confused and shamed and in such a bad place over what's happened.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (13:42)
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Julie Waite (14:07)
So I've got a couple of statistics here. In the UK, 33,000 online child sex offenses were recorded by police in 2022 to 2023. The average age of a child being groomed online is 12. One in five children aged 10 to 17 have received a sexual message online. Snapchat was involved in nearly half of the grooming cases.

And then this one, is, surprised me actually, 92 % of child sexual abuse content removed in 2023 was self-generated, often involving children coerced via webcams. they're not even, it's not like, oh, they're trying to get, find out where your child lives and come and kidnap them and get to them. Although, you know, there is some of that. I know there's been cases where they've turned up at schools to wait for them.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (14:55)
Yeah.

Julie Waite (15:07)
outside locally. But it's a case of them getting the child to do things to themselves and record it and then that can be used to bribe them or whatever it is, blackmail them, get them to do more things because they're ashamed. So there's so many different angles of this. It is.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (15:22)
Yeah. Yeah.

such manipulation.

Also I saw a documentary a few weeks ago now and it was in America and it was a young girl, think she was about 12, and she had got chatting to somebody online and very manipulative predators, posing as the same age, I think it was another girl and then...

Julie Waite (15:47)
Hmm.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (15:50)
got this relationship going and then she was saying that she liked women, was a lesbian. And then the other person, or whoever it was, sent a picture and then requested one back. So it's like, you know, like for like kind of, well. And then it wasn't actually who it was because it was probably AI generated picture. In the end, went into getting these, this increased to more explicit stuff. And in the end, because of the shame and the guilt, the actual person on the other side,

Julie Waite (16:08)
Yeah.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (16:20)
was going to say I'm going to send this to your parents did a there put on social media you're better off killing yourself and she took her own life. So it's this it's the you know it's like wow yeah it's having these conversations with kids so let me share an example I've had recently with my with my son on my phone on my whatsapp group I've had this I don't know if I've still got it I've kept it because I'm like he needs to understand this this woman I don't know say Doris Doris Pink I'm like

Julie Waite (16:31)
Yeah.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (16:48)
message from Doris. I'm like, who's Doris? Picture, not. And he's gone, hi, hi, Sebastian. I just found your number scribbled on a piece of paper. Just wanted to check if it was you. Clicked on the picture. She's a nice looking, good looking woman. And I'm like, okay, yeah, of course. You know. And I've shown my son that. I said, what do you reckon to this? And he's laughing going, yeah, that's really sketchy, innit, dad? And I'm like, yeah, but look at how that could lead. could be, if you're a good person, you this isn't Sebastian. well, who are you?

Julie Waite (16:50)
Hmm.

Mm.

Yeah.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (17:17)
and then it progresses as that slow escalation. So I've showed him that and gone, you know, just be aware, son, you know, and that this is how things can happen and difficult conversations. But also, I think for us as parents is being interested in what's going on. and being inquisitive, I some good conversations, you know, with my son about what's going on in his life, and also

Julie Waite (17:18)
Yeah.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (17:41)
like what their mates up to things that I don't judge I was young and I'm like, what do you think to that? So I'm letting him tell me I'm not kind of well what you up to it to him like so what's going on and He has no fear that I'm gonna go and tell all the parents or stuff. Obviously there was something serious, then obviously that's different but they're doing stuff, you know Vaping drinking, you know, they're kind of stuck. as adults we've probably did go out drinking underage and all that

Julie Waite (17:47)
Mm.

Yeah, yeah.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (18:07)
And it's not for him, but he's seen his friends do it. And it's interesting to see what's going on. are there any online challenges that, you know, young adults, you because there was that slapping one wasn't there and the ice bucket challenge and I don't know if there's anything within teenagers that are getting pushed.

Julie Waite (18:11)
Mm.

Yeah, there was that one,

I remember that one where they were tripping people up backwards and someone cracked their head open, didn't they? Yeah, things like that. I'd say most of the arguments in our household with the kids is over phones. It's so difficult and then they're comparing with what their friends are allowed to do on their phones. But you have to just have a really good...

Dene - Streetwise Defence (18:27)
yeah, yeah. yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Julie Waite (18:46)
hard to think about what the rules are in your house about phones, laptops, for, know, and a really like have maybe sit down as a family and put some rules down on paper, and talking to them and explaining it's about keeping them safe. things like not allowing them to have it at bedtime. We, our kids don't have them in the room on their own. If they're going on, if they're playing on things like Roblox, which actually is.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (18:56)
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Julie Waite (19:14)
Some areas of Roblox have been flagged as being like really dodgy for high volumes of grooming. My kids do play on that, but they're not allowed to chat with anyone and there's certain games that are like more mainstream games that they play on. But things like, if they're going to play on those games, they're playing in the kitchen. I might not necessarily be in the kitchen, I might be around the house, but they're not in their bedroom on their own with the door shut on the phones.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (19:41)
Yeah.

Julie Waite (19:44)
And then, like Dene said, having those chats. So I'll say quite often, you know, do you chat with anyone? No, no, we don't. Because they're not supposed to chat with anyone. And I said, you know why we do that, don't you? People can pretend. And you know, that person that's pretending to be a girl could be like an old man. And he's trying to get you to send pictures of himself. And the kids normally go, that's horrible. And it's like, but I feel like I do have to be honest with them, you know, just to tell them.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (20:11)
You

yeah.

Julie Waite (20:13)
Like, if they know, if you just kind of say, no, there's bad people, you have to pick how old they are and what they can deal with. But if you just say, there's bad people out there, don't, you know, be careful on the internet. But if I say to them, that person that's pretending to be a teenage girl could be a man in his 60s and he wants to come and find you, or he wants you to take pictures of your bum or your boobs or whatever and send them to him, then he's going to blackmail you just to do things or he'll he'll send them around your friends.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (20:39)
So, yeah.

Julie Waite (20:42)
I mean it is a bit scary for them but you do need to have a level of fear so that they don't just go chatting with everyone and anyone and putting themselves in danger.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (20:51)
when my son was young, we used to play on the Xbox and he used to play on Rocket League and they used to have a Friday night league team up with people all over the world and he would have a headset on. So I'm very aware like what they're saying, everything like that. So, and his friends used to be on there. And in the end, he took his headset off and he didn't do it because they were falling out. And he said, I just want to play the game, dad. But what was interesting and he was talking to somebody in China and that was a conversation I could have to say, you know, you know, that's.

somebody you play online with, it's not a real friend, only real friends are when you meet them. And so it's like an online friend. you actually don't know who that is. You don't know anything about them. Whatever they put up there, you know, could be a lie. So it's to just be aware of that. And it's talking then that honest sense of, know, what and explaining as parents, you know, when we're not overreaching, we're just looking out until they understand the dangers and also always being there.

discuss it and have these conversations. You know, they're not daft, you know, they grow up unfortunately too quick and they know a lot. I've learned so much from my kids because I'm not a teenager. I don't know what's going on, what they're experiencing, but they share stuff with me and go, okay, and that's helped us with this, we do to go, I don't want aware of that because I'm not in their world.

Julie Waite (21:54)
Yeah, they do.

Yeah, and it's strange because in one sense they do grow up very quickly and they can tell us things about what's going on and they can make some good judgments but in the other sense I think it's, is it 24 when you're actually emotionally, like your brain's developed and you're emotionally mature so, you know, if you're talking like 12, 13, 14, 15 or younger because a lot of kids younger that get phones aged like eight or nine.

Even though they can seem very mature, they're not fully developed. I think don't get lulled into a sense of security by thinking, they're really mature because they talk to me about this and that. They're still only kids.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (22:46)
Yeah.

Yeah, and you know, anybody can be manipulated. Adults are manipulated. But yeah, by each other. Yeah. And we've got a fully functional brain, apparently, like I said, when do you mature? Some people never do. So it's looking at it and going, all right, you know, as much as they're very, can be very grown up, it's like, we still got to look out for them.

Julie Waite (22:51)
Yeah, well adults are manipulated all the time, look at all these scams and things and yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. And the next area to look at, the next danger hotspot that we've put down is sleepovers. And it just made me think none of these conversations are going to make you popular with your kids. And I've not been popular about a lot of these things, but you know, obviously your kids will love you, but you can't...

Dene - Streetwise Defence (23:22)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Can we just bounce back to just one thing I want to share? before we move on, because it's also understanding, you know, when people form friendships online and they go to meet up, you know, there's cases where they've gone to meet up and it's not, so it's like being aware of that, making sure, you know, you understand your child and you understand that if you're going to meet up, it has to be in an environment where they're safe, whether you're with them or something else like that, because that has happened and yeah, so sorry.

Julie Waite (23:46)
Yeah.

Yeah, it has. and

giving out any information about themselves as well. There was one, we had a briefing at school, a police officer came into our school, the primary school, and did a briefing for parents. And she said that at the local secondary school, someone, this pedophile had turned up looking for this kid that he'd been grooming because he'd found out what school they went to.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (24:04)
Yes. Yeah.

Julie Waite (24:28)
So that's like five minutes away from where we are. So it makes it very close to home when you hear things like that. So yeah, like I said, we move on to sleepovers. And this, we haven't got any statistics. I tried to get some statistics for sleepovers, but this is not something that's collected. But there's a lot of anecdotal evidence about sleepovers.

And when you look at adults that have been abused, have, you know, finally managed to come out and talk about what's happened to them, a lot of that has happened with sleepovers. And it can be parents or adults who are at the house, but also, which was a surprise to me, older kids, older brothers, siblings, or other friends that are staying over at the sleepover as well. So.

It's really about trying to understand how mature your child is and whether they can stand up for themselves, whether they are able to say no, whether they come and talk to you about things. If they aren't particularly mature and if you don't feel confident that if something was to happen, if someone was to come up to them and say, or come with me or do this or show me that or whatever it is.

Are they strong enough to say no and go and ask for help? Do they know what to do? Have you got a plan? Will they talk to you? And I think if you don't feel really confident in that, then you'd have to question whether the sleepover is going to be safe for them. But it's sad because it's like, that's a really fun part of childhood sleepovers.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (26:11)
Yeah. ⁓

Yeah, yeah,

but it's also, you know, I've met other kids parents and like, you know, it's like, we can all seem really nice. they seem really nice chap, nice lady, whoever, but we really, we don't really know them, do you? So it's like, it's not, I hate to, it's always like, I feel like I'm very cynical of the world, but it's the reality that we have to be aware of and go, okay, we don't know them people. They, the daughters or the sons get on or whoever gets on, that's great.

Julie Waite (26:25)
Mm.

Yeah. You don't know them. No.

Yeah.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (26:44)
but who's the parents, who's the guardians, who's the other members in that house or potential people visiting? And then it's that, yeah, it's another uncomfortable conversation to make sure your kids are aware of that in a way that empowers them and also gives them that confidence that you're there for them on all levels. And it's like I said, the what if game.

Julie Waite (26:51)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (27:12)
What if that did happen? What would we do? What would you want to your child? What would you want me to do? What would you want to do? know, so I'm looking at as trying to look at everything in a sense of they know their options. They've got an idea of what they could do, what, how they could, what you're going to do as well. So yeah, it's kind of a lot of layers to it.

Julie Waite (27:35)
⁓

Yeah, it's having a plan in place so that if anything feels uncomfortable, what do they do? I've always said, I my kids haven't had many sleepovers. They've had some, but it's not something that I encourage. But the plan is that, you know, if something happens that they feel uncomfortable about, they say they feel sick or they're going to be sick or they say they've been sick or they come up with normally like, because that's an easy thing for a kid to say and it's something easy to remember.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (27:39)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Julie Waite (28:04)
I I've always said you can call me and I'll come and get you, but if they can say, I've been sick, I need to go home or feel sick, I need to go home, then that's just an excuse that they can use and having your phone on all through the night so that if they do try and call you, you're available and you can go and get them.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (28:11)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Also reaffirming to them saying look my phone's always on, look please don't worry about waking mum or dad up or whoever up, look you know if you need to wake them up that's cool. yeah, yeah, yeah.

Julie Waite (28:33)
Or they can text you, like Dene said earlier, if you have a family emoji

or ⁓ a word that they can use, an emergency word that you pick as a family that if they say or text that word, you then know. Yeah, anything, whatever works for you.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (28:41)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Or a sentence, something, you know, that, yeah, something can,

I suppose for me, I'd say something that would be kind of like normal and it wouldn't raise alarm. Yeah. So, cause if somebody did read it and they're like, ⁓ you know, then obviously you're not there and your child or, you young adult is still there. So that could escalate a situation that you can avoid by something a bit more normal, but you know, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Julie Waite (28:58)
Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it could be a question of something like, we have pancakes for breakfast? That could be the question that

Dene - Streetwise Defence (29:16)
Yeah, yeah, we're having pancakes when I get back. Yeah, perfect

Julie Waite (29:17)
they say. Yeah. And if you get that at 2am or whenever, then you know they need you. Yeah.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (29:23)
Yeah, yeah, then you need to get there and they

know that you're going to get there and also like give them a time frame, you know, because right, right, if I get that pancake text, I will be there within 15 minutes. So in the the young person, child's head, mom, dad, whoever is going to be there in 15 minutes, that's going to really reassure them that somebody is on the way.

Julie Waite (29:43)
Mm.

Yeah. I've got a couple of examples. There was one that I think it was last year that really caught my attention that was in the news and it was a dad in the US. And there was a group of teenage girls having a sleepover at his house. I think the parents were divorced and it was just the dad there and this group of girls. And he ⁓ went off and made them all smoothies.

And he was very insistent that they should drink these smoothies and he was trying to persuade them all to drink the smoothies. couple of the girls drank the smoothies. There was one girl and thank goodness she listened to her gut instinct because she said she felt something was off and she felt something was wrong and she didn't drink it. He had put drugs in the smoothies and I think at least two or three of the other girls had passed out. This girl...

got in touch with her parents and then they managed to get there, get it sorted, get all the other girls to hospital and prosecute this guy. But you think, you, is that what I saying earlier? Is your child strong enough to say no when someone tries to persuade them to do something they don't want to do? So maybe those other girls didn't realize, maybe they just thought, I...

Dene - Streetwise Defence (31:03)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Julie Waite (31:09)
he's made it for us and whatever he was saying to try and manipulate them we should have it because he's made it for us but if that girl hadn't listened to that you just don't even know what was going to happen to them

Dene - Streetwise Defence (31:11)
Yeah.

Yeah,

Julie Waite (31:21)
an example of someone that I know, her daughter had gone to a sleepover. Similar thing, I think they just moved into the house and it was just the dad there and the girls for the sleepover. And the girls house they were going to was giving them a tour around the house. And the dad was kind of tagging along and like trying to get into the conversation and you know, just getting involved in a weird...

weird way she felt something was bit weird and creepy about it because you know anyone who's got teenagers knows that when they come around they're off doing their own thing you're not tagging along behind them trying to join in particularly if it's a dad and girls I think most dads would actually be conscious of not getting too involved because you don't want to be accused of anything so anyway this dad was tagging along and he was just being a bit weird and creepy then they kind of had the rest of the evening or

Dene - Streetwise Defence (32:06)
Yeah. Yeah.

Julie Waite (32:18)
something had happened and they had to go home and he was insisting on driving this girl home on her own and was trying to manipulate the situation so that his daughter didn't come and he was just going to be driving this girl home on her own and she just said she just she just had like red flags going off and just it was just weird and she called her mum and got it sorted and then you know obviously they're not going to be going around there again but

It's that thing of that girl, new, to just listen to what she feels and I think that's something that everyone can help their children to understand that you have got a sixth sense, you have got an internal...

warning alarm system inside you and if you feel something is creepy or wrong or off you need to listen to that because it's trying to keep you safe. So I think that's a whole ongoing conversation from when kids are little right the way through their life to listen to and trust your gut instinct and ask for help when you need it and not just go along with things.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (33:10)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Fair play to the young woman because that takes some strength because oh, I don't want to upset and yeah, and then somebody goes, oh, I'll just nip you, it's only five minutes and you go, oh, I don't want to be a pain and oh yeah, it'll save one of my parents coming out and all these things that potentially flash up in your head. But also for me, like I always say to anybody, if you are more worried about upsetting somebody else than your own personal safety, we've got to look at that. You've got to look inside yourself and go, actually my personal safety supersedes upsetting somebody's dad.

Julie Waite (33:24)
Yeah, it does.

Mmm.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (33:51)
mom, sister, brother, family member, anybody. Cause you go, that's your personal safety's most important thing we have. So worrying about upsetting somebody else, you know, look at it and go, that's on them. If they get upset, then they're not concerned about my personal safety because I need to do something here to get away, to be safe. And that's on them, not you. You know, you're not being a bad person. You're looking after you.

Julie Waite (34:00)
Yeah.

Yeah, definitely. The next area, the next danger hotspot is walking to school or public transport. Now, this isn't... It's often quite safe for kids to be walking to school, but it's one of those unsupervised moments that they have. you know, whilst child abductions by strangers are extremely rare...

Statistically they say it's less than 1 % of all abductions are by strangers. However, people still try and I know locally here and if you're looking at local news and things like that, it's not often but from time to time there are warnings that come out from school or on the local police sites that says, there's been a red van spotted near the school and asking kids, do they want a lift or asking kids to come and look at something.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (34:55)
Yeah.

Julie Waite (35:13)
And it does happen.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (35:14)
the story that I was shared with me probably about six weeks ago, local garage, I some good guys there, family men, and one of them was saying that it was in the holidays, and a young lad had left home early, probably about half a eight he was going to his friend's house, get there nine going to play football, like young lads do get a full day at it, and this van was driving around, and it had a man in it, and he had a balaclava on.

He pulled over next to the young lad, window down and said, Oh, do you want to get in the van? Cause I've got some puppies. And obviously he legged it because he's a smart kid, but that's local. I was like, wow, you know, that's probably out with intention. So it does happen. Um, but also looking at from what I understand, you know, kids going to school, they have to check in normally if they don't register in, there's a phone call to the mom, to the parent, dad, whoever, um, it's going home. You know what they call, uh,

Julie Waite (35:45)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

It's both,

you know. It's funny you should say that because this morning I took my eldest to the dentist and I forgot to phone school to tell them she wasn't coming in. So she didn't arrive back at school till quarter to 11 and we have an app so you're supposed to get a text. The text didn't come through till lunchtime to tell me that she hadn't come in this morning.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (36:07)
that. Yeah, okay.

Right. Right. Yeah.

What mate? Good.

Julie Waite (36:33)
know, the schools have these systems apparently,

but if she had just been walking to school and hadn't got to school, I wouldn't have found out till lunchtime that she hadn't arrived in. So I think either walking to school or walking home can be a danger spot.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (36:41)
Yeah, yeah No, yeah Yeah, yeah definitely

both ways. There's dangers what I mean is if you're looking at a predatorial kids normally go to school the mates will go where so-and-so not in maybe form a teacher, you know, or then if the app works you get a message but on the way back Kids there's a lot of parents working. So a lot of kids over their own key to the house. So there's

Julie Waite (37:07)
Yeah, they do.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (37:09)
potentially a longer period of time before the child would be recognized that the child hasn't come home because if you're working late or you know how many kids go home and make their own tea and the parents don't come in till 6, 7, 8 at night so yeah there's danger both ways but if you're looking at it like a pure predator you've got more potential more time at the end of the day then you might have the beginning but yeah there's dangers both

Julie Waite (37:33)
Yeah. And some of

these people, you know, they were plan it, but also there's just chancers you were driving past it. This is something happened where I used to live. There was a reservoir at the end of the road with a really nice walkway around it. And you could walk around it in like 40 minutes, 45 minutes. And there was a girl that lived a few doors down. I think she was 11 or 12 at the time. She was into long distance running and she'd gone out for a run around the reservoir with the dog. And.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (37:38)
Yeah, as well. Opportunists as well.

Julie Waite (38:03)
She could do that quite quickly because she was running. And there's an entrance at one side and there's an entrance at the other. There's like a road that goes around half of it. So what we think happened in this situation was there was an orange van and it was seen, we think it saw her into one side of the reservoir and it parked at the other side and waited for her. And as she got round, he was in the bushes waiting for her.

and tried to talk to her at first and then when she wouldn't go with him, do what he wanted, he then tried to grab her and thankfully she managed to get away and actually ran back the other way round and got home. The dog was nowhere to be seen during any of this because I know you think, oh, I've got the dog with me and the dog will protect me, but you can't rely on a dog because he's off sniffing around or whatever.

And she had a very, very near miss and that, know, when you know the family, she was really traumatized and like the nightmares, it's making me a bit upset actually, the nightmares, everything that she had because of that. But we think that he was just a chancer that just happened to be, I mean, just happened to be driving past and seeing a young girl going jogging on their own. So it's hard because you can't lock them up, but you have to just be really, just take every chance you can really to keep them safe.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (39:03)
Yeah. Wow. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

No. Yeah.

Yeah

and also I think looking you know that's the environment isn't it where you go okay when you're more remote obviously there's

not many people there that can assist you. And that's what some predators are look for.

Julie Waite (39:37)
Mm.

And the other angle of walking to school is not just the child abduction, which thankfully is rare. It's things like phone snatching. Kids and phones are just a nightmare. I do a lot of school runs and I just absolutely marvel at the amount of kids that come, just like they come out of school in hordes of them, just with a phone in front of their face. And we're laughing now, but at our school,

Dene - Streetwise Defence (39:50)
Yeah.

I can do.

Julie Waite (40:07)
There's been kids knocked down. Like, there was two kids knocked down last year. One was, they were quite severely injured just because they just walked straight out into the road looking at their phone. Like broken legs, broken bones, and there's all kids around looking, and the other kids are trying to help. So like the trauma just within that circle and then the ripple throughout the school of what had happened, but they still come out and do it with the phones.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (40:18)
So how many, see.

It's madness and every night school time you see so many kids are just glued to the phone walking home and you're like

Julie Waite (40:38)
Yeah. Yeah.

And didn't we have, I meant to ask this before we started, but wasn't there a school that we were called to train at because kids were getting targeted outside the school gates by ex-pupils who were phone snatching? I mean, it depends what area you live in, thankfully. I've not heard of that happening, like where we are, but yeah.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (40:48)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's other

areas and other schools that have been that I would say are, there's more wealth there and the students were getting targeted by gangs outside the area coming in specifically because there are no kids are walking around with these fancy phones and wallets and watches and stuff.

Julie Waite (41:19)
you

Dene - Streetwise Defence (41:21)
You know like and you're a predator you know where your potential prey is You know where they are so you're to go purposely there

Julie Waite (41:30)
Yeah. So, I mean, really it's about like talking to your child about walking to school and talking about, like when my eldest started school, we walked the route with her, we talked about different things. Like I am so insistent that my kids have their phones away. and if I ever see them on the phones, you know, we'll be having a chat, but I'll say to them,

Dene - Streetwise Defence (41:45)
Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Julie Waite (41:56)
I'll say like there's number of reasons. One, you could get run over. Two, you could get your phone pinched. Three, it makes you look like an easy target for someone that wants to hurt you. And I'm reinforcing that all the time with them. Like you just have to put your phone away. friends are on their phones, let them. You can't control everyone around you, but you need to put your phone away and just pay attention to what's going on around you.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (42:15)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Julie Waite (42:20)
so it's about teaching them to trust their instincts, being aware of if a van or a car pulls up, and this is something I say to the kids all the time, an adult should never ask you directions or the time or to lend them some money or for anything. No adult should be going up to a child asking them anything.

I think sometimes they think, a car's pulled up and they need help. Well, they should never, a good adult, I would never ask a kid for help, never, because it would scare them. I'd never ask them directions, anything like that. You go and find another adult. So if they know that no adult should be ever stopping you and asking you something, it's really clear and simple for them. If an adult comes and is trying to stop me or they're pulling up alongside me in the car, I'm like, walk on, run off.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (43:08)
Like it, like,

yeah.

Julie Waite (43:10)
Stay away, you do not have to engage with them or have any kind of conversation with them.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (43:15)
And that's for everybody, isn't it? You know, somebody trying to engage with you, you know, you are busy, I've got to go, you know, make your excuses or you don't have to, you can just run. You know, you don't have to be polite. You don't have to help anybody. You're not being a bad person or rude. It's like we're not, there's no law says you've got to help somebody because they want to know where McDonald's is. You know, they should have looked at it before and know where they're going.

Julie Waite (43:36)
So it's just helping them really just to be a bit more streetwise in what they're doing.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (43:40)
Yeah.

Julie Waite (43:43)
So the next danger hotspot is public toilets and I know this is something that you see you see all the time little kids going to toilets on their own in like pubs or public places and I think you don't know until you know do you? But when you've looked at the news and you've looked at statistics they don't really have statistics but anecdotal cases like I've seen so many headlines of kids and it's not just like

Dene - Streetwise Defence (43:46)
god, it blows my mind.

⁓ my... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

⁓ Okay, yeah.

Julie Waite (44:14)
you know, someone flash at them or says something inappropriate. It's like teenage boys, 14, 15 year old boys being raped in toilets. And you would never think, yeah, was, there was a Tesco supermarket, wasn't it? I think the teenage boy was raped. Public toilets as well, like, you know, in town centers and things like that, train stations. So you can't think, you,

Dene - Streetwise Defence (44:21)
Yeah supermarkets

to

Julie Waite (44:41)
you know, your boy is 13 or 14, they can be quite big, even 15, but if they're not streetwise and they don't know what's going on, then they can still fall victim to this. And it's an unsupervised area where they can kind of get access to you without other people seeing.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (45:01)
Yeah

perfect ambush isn't it because there's no cameras in there. Couple of stories I can share with you. My mum and dad used to run pubs when I was young. I got flashed in the toilets. ⁓

Julie Waite (45:17)
How old were you then,

can you remember?

Dene - Streetwise Defence (45:18)
I

remember because actually it was only I only know because me and my mum were talking about certain things and she goes yeah you used to go and then somebody flashed at you and was like I've forgotten about that or locked it away or whatever and she goes yeah then we realised you know to be more careful. A friend a real good friend of mine awesome bloke went to this was when he was young I don't know how old he was went to the market to get some school trousers with his mum.

Julie Waite (45:30)
you

Dene - Streetwise Defence (45:46)
there was a toilet, I'm not going to name where it was or anything. And he used to go in the toilet to try stuff from the market from obviously his mum didn't go in with him. So he went in to the toilet, put in his trousers on, he looked down and there was a known, sex offender, was looking underneath, up at him. That has traumatised him so much

but the sheer trauma shock of him at a young age that is he really affected him in his whole life

Julie Waite (46:16)
Hmm.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (46:17)
Yeah, another story I'll share of you, but I was bodyguarding. I was out with Russell Crowe's wife at the time and we'd gone to Hyde Park. I was with her and her oldest son now, Charlie, and it was only young. And I was there to make sure obviously Danny, his wife at the time and Charlie were safe. She'd gone to meet some of her friends and we'd gone to, there's a, there's a,

park in the middle. I can't remember what it is. It Diana's Park. So and there's a, there's a boat in a big sandpit there. So we've gone in there to meet him and it is a gated area because it's for families. Um, and the other family we met, we met a nanny and two kids, two young, two young lads, similar age. Um, and the, one of the young lads from the other family wanted to go to the toilet. They didn't have security and she's gone, yeah, go to toilet. And I was like, I know it's gated.

I know there's supposed to be families in there, but it wasn't controlled, wasn't security there. And she let this probably six year old go to the toilet on his own. And I looked at the situation, I'm like, are you kidding me? She wasn't aware I get that. So I looked at situation, family, everyone's okay. There was no initial threat or danger there. So what I did is I followed the other kid to the toilet and kind of just stood in the doorway.

I to wash my hands to make sure the young lad went, he was okay. Because I'm like, you do not know he's in there. That is going to be a primary area where if somebody has a preference and who's ⁓ targeting young kids, that's where they're going to be. So just for me, I went in and I thought I just need to just keep an overwatch, keep an eye on this kid, make sure he's all right. Anyway, nothing fine came back and I just said to the nanny, I spoke to her and I said, just be, you know, when the boys get their toilet, you really need to go with them because we don't know who's in there.

Julie Waite (47:50)
Mm.

Hmm.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (48:14)
try to put it in a nice way just to make sure ⁓ yeah didn't realize you know I've had countless chats to parents about this to go look go with your child until they're over an age where they're physically strong enough and they know what to do if that happens then they're gonna know you know that you've got to be with them even if the thought is

Julie Waite (48:16)
Hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, you have. And I think it

can be bit difficult if they're a different gender to you, but then you have to kind of have some discussions about that. And there may be a disabled toilet that might be that they can, you can wait outside the door and they can check if someone's in there. And, you know, that these kind of think plans you can come up with together.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (48:43)
Yeah. ⁓ yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

The

the the one One of the lady came back to me. She goes well, I got my son and he's like, I'm alright mom You know, he's a young man. said I get that I said what you got to do is you've got to talk to your son in a way that you know how to talk to him say I'm not questioning you being a young man and you can look after yourself and Get get his viewpoint on it. So you can understand obviously he feels like well, I'm alright mom, know, you're overprotective But then he also understands from you

and that uncomfortable potential discussion of going, know you're a young man and that, but you know, there are people out there, men, whoever, whatever, predators, I need to still look out for you. And whether that's me standing outside a disabled toilet and them using that, and I'm sure not nothing against anybody of any gender ability or anything, but you know, as a parent, I would make my excuses. I look, I'm really sorry. You know, my son's in there, my daughter, whoever's in there.

You I'm just, I'm just looking out for him. would apologize. You know, hopefully a good person would understand why I would use the disabled toilet instead of a main toilet, especially if the child's opposite sex. And, know, and if they didn't, okay, I'm going to take somebody getting angry at me and I'm like, okay, I'm sorry, you know, and it's that understanding from both sides of the party, you know, both sides to go, let's work together. Like I said, you've to work together with your son. He's got to understand you and you need to understand him and then come to some kind of compromise.

Julie Waite (50:00)
Mm.

Hmm.

Mm.

Yeah. And you mentioned parks there and playgrounds and those are also a prime spot. You're normally with your kids there, but I know when I was looking at statistics about abductions, the stranger abductions, there is ⁓ a greater likelihood that it might be attempted from a park. I guess if you're not...

You might not be paying attention, your mom's kind of, group of moms, you know, I used to do this, group of moms go there and you have a chat and the kids are all playing. So it's just a case of making sure you can see them all the time and having those chats with them and making sure that the park or playground that you're in is safe. And then when they're older, again,

Dene - Streetwise Defence (50:49)
So yeah.

Julie Waite (51:08)
I know some groups of kids go out and hang out at the park or the playground, like early teens. It's about thinking about whether they're mature enough to do that. Have you had conversations? What about if someone comes up to you and talks to you? How do you get away safely? What do you do?

Dene - Streetwise Defence (51:24)
And also looking a bit further because I've seen many parents, you know, in a play area when they're all on the phones and you go, we're not really teaching our kids the right skill set. If we're, you know, they're playing, you go, I'll just check my social media emails. You go, just be present, but also looking a bit wider because I've done it. ⁓ when I've been bodyguarding, you know, looking at the immediate family or whoever I'm with, especially if we're kids and then looking a little bit wider, looking a little bit wider. And I've seen it when I've been in London quite a few times.

Julie Waite (51:31)
Mm.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (51:54)
in different situations in a park. I was also at the Water World thing near the London Eye, can't remember what that's called. And it was weird, weird because the family was there, was in the back, I was sort of like in the background, I was just looking at a wider picture and I've seen people taking pictures of kids in them places where it's busy, people are all focused on one thing I'm like, and I've seen, actually saw a couple once, I'm like, that's something wrong there.

Julie Waite (52:12)
Mmm.

Mm.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (52:20)
So obviously

I was with a client with the kids, I positioned myself so there wasn't any pictures of kids or something, was just weird, I was just watching. So sometimes just to pull back a bit and look at a wider lens because it might not be that danger close up, it might be as it maybe closes in, maybe somebody's watching or just assessing or something, it's like okay, let's look at the bigger picture, who's around, why are they still there, does that make sense?

Julie Waite (52:34)
Mm.

Yeah, I think then the last area that we're to look at, obviously there are more areas, more danger hotspots, unfortunately, but the last one we're going to look at is seaside resorts and holidays where you might let your hair down a bit and the kids are off playing. And unfortunately, I think most people have heard of Madeleine McCann and what happened there ⁓ where she was abducted.

while on holiday at night ⁓ when the parents had gone out for a meal, I believe, that's the right information. Also things like seaside resorts, again, what Dene was saying, if you are ⁓ a sex offender and you're looking for kids, where are going to go? Seaside resorts, ⁓ we know that they're hot spots. I think you were told...

That by a police officer that you knew, was it? Who was it?

Dene - Streetwise Defence (53:42)
No,

a psychiatrist I was getting some help from many years ago, yeah. And she did say that where she'd worked, seasides are potential real hotspots because of the clients and people she'd been trying to help, sex offenders and things like that. That's where they're drawn to.

Julie Waite (53:47)
Right? Right?

Mm.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's just, obviously you want to all enjoy yourselves, but you need to have eyes on the kids. You can get like little ID tags and things, you can get air tags, you can get all of these extra things, it doesn't, there's no guarantee that any of that is gonna work. Having a plan, we always have a plan, so we always know that if you get lost, what do you do? If you get lost,

We either have a meeting point or we have the like, you stand still and I'll find you rather than everyone wandering around trying to look for each other. So that's what I always say to my kids, what happens if you get lost? We stand still and we look, we just stand still and we look all around for you and I will be the one doing the searching and I will come to them.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (54:42)
Yeah, you should, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And also using the voice. That's just remind me of I was in Alton Towers years ago with my son when he was little. And I think it was. Yeah, I think I was with my son. Yeah. Anyway. And we walk around and a woman she was absolutely losing the marbles because one of her kids had gone off. She was paying attention to the child in the pram and the other one had gone off.

And it was you could see the sheer like panic and well then but then you saw it in other parents because it were all like there's all like where's the kid? Where's the kid? Looking off somebody, you know, like identified this kid on her on on on its own. And it was like and you could ⁓ man, just from sections. ⁓

Julie Waite (55:21)
it's horrible.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's that panic, it's giving me actually chills. That panic

when you lose a kid is awful. I saw it, I remember experiencing it in Ikea once. Someone had lost their kid and they must have been looking for a while and the mum was screaming and like hysterical. Everyone, gonna make me cry actually, because it really gets you, doesn't it? The thought of losing your kid. Everyone was helping and this kid, they'd got in a cupboard and shut the doors. So you imagine in Ikea how many cupboards there are.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (55:41)
Wow, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Hahaha

Yeah.

Julie Waite (56:05)
the kid had got

in a cupboard and shut the doors so until everyone starts opening doors they found the kid I don't know if they thought ⁓ I'm gonna get shouted at now because everyone's screaming I'll just stay in the cupboard but it is and I got lost as well I was 10 and we were in Disney World and I remember my dad going look at that parrot over there or something and I'd taken it as a cue to go over and look at it so I'd wandered off to look at it and then I turned around and I couldn't see them and it felt like

Dene - Streetwise Defence (56:12)
Yeah, yeah,

Julie Waite (56:34)
ever that we were lost and it was for me as a kid it was so traumatic like you know don't have all that many childhood memories but I remember that and they were like frantic when they finally found me so anywhere like that when you're in real busy places you can get lost like seasides like holiday resorts anything like that it's so easy

Dene - Streetwise Defence (56:54)
Supermarket look at my don't look at

me. Sorry. Look at me. Oh, well, that's a big old place. It's having a plan, isn't it? I'm sure most some people on this listen to this or watching this I get lost in Ikea as well. That's a crazy place. Jeez not very friendly to try and get out. I never get out. I was in there for one week once. But anyway, remember as well when I was younger, my mom and dad used to live remotely and there was a couple of houses just there. My dad used to work away and we had a big garden and it was, you know,

Julie Waite (56:59)
Yeah, I

Yeah.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (57:24)
and what happened is my mum thought I'd gone out in the garden and actually I'd gone into front room and fell asleep on the settee and because of the settee where it's positioned my mum couldn't see me so she was running around the garden she rang the police she got all the police out of it and she rang my dad my dad came home and then my dad found me in the front room still asleep so it's like like ⁓ man yeah

Julie Waite (57:37)
my God.

You know, you've just reminded

me of something there actually that I was going to mention that I didn't. ⁓ Thinking about your home and like your garden and ⁓ how safe that is with like people passing by. How safe is your garden or where your kids are playing at home? Because there was one case that I was reading of that was in the news and it was ⁓ this family, the house was on a main road.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (58:02)
Yeah.

Julie Waite (58:13)
and they'd got a playroom for the kids and it was like the front room of the house. So this person had seen walking by the front room that there was, it was a kid's playroom and they was obviously scoping it out, walking back and they tried to take the kid out of the window of the playroom. And I know it's very few and far between, but it's just.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (58:19)
Right.

Wow.

Julie Waite (58:40)
If you can just think about all these things, don't want people to be scared, but if you've got the knowledge, you can kind of think, okay, well, where is my playroom going to be? Is it going to be, is it invisible of the street? Well, let's get some blinds in there then so people can't see in and think about, like, is the window on the latch so that it can't, no one can lean in or they're playing out the front. know my kids, know, kids are always wanting to be biking up and down out the front.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (58:42)
Yeah. Hello.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Julie Waite (59:06)
Can you talk to neighbours so that there's always one adult sat there watching the kids biking or doing whatever it is they're doing rather than just thinking, checking every now and again and looking, which I have done over the years. But you just think, is it worth it for the sake of someone driving down and taking a chance? You'd never forgive yourself.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (59:10)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah,

know, and you've got to look at it, haven't you? You know, everything you do has got a risk to it. And look it logically and going, OK, how can it be more safer?

So think it's important if you're still listening to this or watching it is to get empowerment from this. So yeah, there's bad things that happen. But with you listening to this, you've expanded your understanding and knowledge of where potential dangers are. And now you can think about it to go, actually, I can make myself a little bit safer. know, like talk about the parents when I say about the bathroom things, they're good people, they're good parents. And the look on their faces when I go, you just might want to think about it differently. And they're like, they're mortified because

They've put just realized that they might have put the kids in a danger when they could have avoided it and they're not done. I haven't done it on purpose. So it's looking at it and going, now I'm aware of that. You know, I'm actually in a better position, more empowered position to do something that will keep me, my kids or whoever my partner, my family safer.

Julie Waite (1:00:09)
Hmm.

Yeah, I think we've covered the main ones that we wanted to cover, but it's thinking about all your busy places like shopping centers, like festivals, big events, they can be dangerous. If your kids are having to get taxis alone or public transport alone at any point, then that could be dangerous as well in terms of people.

Well, either the taxi driver or if they're on a bus or a train, someone coming over to them and maybe starting to groom them or, you know, whatever, touching them, putting their hand on their leg, just doing something inappropriate that can actually really, really scare them and cause trauma to them.

I've heard of a lot of cases of bullying happening on school buses and that's something to think about and talk about and you know we talked about walking to school, we've talked about all different elements but actual other kids themselves can be a source of danger.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (1:01:17)
Right.

Yeah, yeah,

definitely.

Julie Waite (1:01:34)
And

we're hearing more and more about things like stabbings in schools, bullying, sexual violence in schools. And I think that's a whole other topic that we'll talk about another day. But that is something to be aware of and just to talk about as well. I think, I mean, if there's going to be one takeaway from this for everyone to go away with, it would be just to start having those open, honest conversations. And you know how best to talk to your child.

Dene - Streetwise Defence (1:01:40)
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Julie Waite (1:02:03)
how to do it in a way that doesn't scare them but they do need to have that level of I don't know if I'd say fear but wariness reality and if you can start doing that then you know you'll be helping to keep them a lot safer

Dene - Streetwise Defence (1:02:11)
reality.

I thought of a game you could play. You could play the game, what are you scared of? So you go to your children and go, what are you scared of? Or you could start off, go, well, I'm scared of this. And that could be what I'm scared of me personally, or what I'm scared of for them. So they understand maybe why I'm a bit, or I could be overprotective or always asking them more stuff and, know, get the conversations going.

Julie Waite (1:02:27)
Mm.

Yeah.

Yeah, so that's that's kind of your challenge if you want one for this week to go away and have some open honest conversations with your child also with your partner if you have one about you know just safety routines and things that you do around those areas that we've talked about and if you have found this interesting and helpful please share it with some friends because you're helping to keep more people safe and

As parents we all need to look out for each other and to keep all our kids as safe as possible. So thank you, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review if you fancy doing that, that would be great, we'd really appreciate it and we'll see you next time.