THE PERSON WHO LEFT ISN’T THE PERSON WHO CAME BACK / EPISODE 53

Have you ever heard someone say, “You’ve changed”?

Maybe they’re right.

Because growth changes you.

Healing changes you.

Life changes you.

In this episode of I Am Spice, we’re talking about what happens when you survive things that were supposed to break you. The lessons, the pain, the healing, and the experiences all leave a mark. And when you finally come out on the other side, you’re not the same person who walked in.

The truth is that some people miss the version of you that tolerated more, questioned less, gave more chances, and stayed quiet. But growth was never meant to keep you the same.

Sometimes the people around us aren’t reacting to who we are today. They’re reacting to the version of us they were comfortable with.

The person who left isn’t the person who came back.

And maybe that’s exactly the point.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why growth makes some people uncomfortable
• The difference between changing and evolving
• Outgrowing old versions of yourself
• Healing, boundaries, and self-respect
• Why some relationships struggle when you change
• Learning to embrace the person you’ve become

If you’ve ever been told you’ve changed, this episode is for you.

What’s one way you’ve changed in the last year that you’re proud of?

If this episode resonated with you, follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

#iamspice #healingjourney #personalgrowth #selfworth #podcast

Keywords: personal growth, healing journey, transformation, self worth, emotional healing, boundaries, personal development, self discovery, growth mindset, life lessons, relationships, empowerment, healing podcast, motivational podcast, self improvement

Unfiltered • Unapologetic • Unstoppable

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Let's piss some people off. Have you ever had something happen so many times that eventually you couldn't call it a coincidence anymore? Not because it happens once or twice, but because it kept showing up through different people and different places and in completely unrelated situations until one day you finally stopped and thought, okay, what am I missing here? Because that's where I've been lately. And honestly, I wasn't planning on talking about this today, but life has a funny way of putting the same message in front of your face over and over again until you finally pay attention. Hi, and welcome back to I Am Spies the podcast. I'm your host, Iris, and before we get into today's episode, I need to take a second and acknowledge something that still feels absolutely surreal to me. Last week's episode marked one full year of this podcast. One year, 52 episodes, editing, learning, growing, and sharing pieces of my life with all of you. When I started this podcast, I wasn't thinking about anniversaries or milestones. I was thinking about where this would go. I was simply creating the conversations I wish somebody had been having with me when I needed them the most. Somehow, one year later, here we are. What's even crazier is that this episode is being recorded somewhere special. If the sound is a little different or you hear an echo, I'm recording inside my studio. Now, before anybody gets too excited, this is not the final reveal. The furniture, it's not bought yet, the decorations are done, and the layout isn't exactly how I want it yet. Right now I'm sitting in one small corner of what it eventually become the final version of the space. There are still things I want to change, things I want to add, and things that haven't even started yet. But I realized something recently. If I kept waiting for everything to, you know, to be perfect, I would not ever allow myself to enjoy something that was already real. This studio has actually been in the works for over a year now. Longer than this podcast has existed before there was episode one, before there was a microphone, before there was Spotify, there was a simple dream. A dream of having my own creative space, a place where I could record, write, think, build, and create. And today I'm sitting inside that dream. Not the finished version of it, but the real version of it. I also have to publicly thank my husband, Kevin, because none of this would exist without him. When I say this studio was built with his own hands, I meant that literally. Every wall, every measurement, every adjustment, every solution to every crazy idea I came up with. Thankfully, I married an engineer and an architect because I tend to have the vision and somehow he figures out how to make it physically exist. Well, started as an idea, became an entire tiny house outside of our home. One day when everything is finished exactly how I want it, I'll finally show it all to you. I'll be keeping it a secret because I wanted to reveal the whole thing to be special. But for now, just not know that while you're still listening to this episode, I'm sitting inside something that once existed only in my imagination. And honestly, sitting here this week got me emotional, not because it's finished, but because it's it isn't. I wasn't looking, I was looking around at all the things that still need to be done when it suddenly hit me. I was focusing so much on what wasn't finished that I almost missed the fact that I was already sitting inside something I had prayed for. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that's exactly what has been happening in other areas of my life too. A few weeks ago, I went back to Puerto Rico and I don't know what's in the air over there, but I feel like every few hours, somebody was trying to tell me something I wasn't ready to hear. It happened at graduation, it happened at prom, it happened through conversations, through strangers, people I knew, and people I didn't know. People kept reacting to me in ways that genuinely confused me because it didn't match how it I still saw myself. Every time it happened, I laughed it off and explained it away. I dismissed it. I told myself people were just being nice or that they were exaggerating. Because in my head, I'm still me. I'm still the woman trying to figure things out, I'm still the woman chasing bigger goals, I'm still the woman looking at other creators and thinking, wow, look how far they are. And I think that's where the re this realization really started. Because if you're a creator, you probably understand exactly what I'm talking about. There's always somebody bigger, just always another podcast with more downloads, another creator with more followers, another author selling more books, another business making more money, another person accomplishing something you haven't accomplished yet. When you're constantly looking ahead, you start measuring yourself against people who are 10 steps in front of you while completely forgetting that there are people looking at you that exact same way. And I think creators are some of the worst people when it comes to acknowledging their own success, not because we're ungrateful, but because we're always building, always creating, always chasing the next thing, always you know, we hit a goal and immediately move to the finish line, then we hit another goal and we move it again. We before you know it, if you're living things the old version of you would have cried over, and you're treating them like they're not a big deal. That's been happening to me a lot. And I know I've done that. I've I've done this with podcasts, I've done this with my books, I've done it with my businesses, I've done it with social media, I've done it with almost every accomplishment in my life. Because my immediate reaction is always, okay, what's next? Instead of stopping long enough to appreciate what's already here. And Puerto Rico forced me to look at that because the truth is people recognize me, people know who I am, people listen to this podcast, people watch my content, people send me messages, people send me emails, people reach out on my DMs. Even if I don't talk about it, I don't share every email, I don't screenshot every compliment, I don't announce every opportunity. I simply, you know, keep that to myself. Most of those moments stay between me and the person who sent them. I think part of the reason is because I'm never the type to brag. I've never wanted to be nauseous, I've never wanted to walk around acting like I'm better than anybody else. So instead of that, I I do what I've always done. I minimize it, I downplay it, I make it smaller than it is. And lately I've been asking myself something. At what point does humility become self-dismissal? At what point does staying grounded becomes refusing to acknowledge reality? Because there's a difference. Acknowledging what you build doesn't make you arrogant, acknowledging your accomplishments doesn't make you conceded. Acknowledging your impact doesn't make you full of yourself. Sometimes it's just honesty. And I think that's what life has been trying to show me lately. Not through one big moment, but through a hundred little moments. The podcast anniversary, the studio, going to Puerto Rico, my son's graduation, his prompt, the conversations, the messages, the recognition, the opportunities, all these little moments that kept pointing toward the same thing. When I look at myself, I still see every hard season. I still see every setback. I still see every mistake. I still see every moment where I had no idea what I was doing. I still see the woman who was rebuilding her life. I still see the woman who was still trying to start over, but that's not the only woman that exists anymore. Everybody else is interacting with the woman standing in front of them today while I'm still introducing myself as the woman I used to be. And honestly, I think everybody else got the memo before I did. Sitting in the studio this week, celebrating one year of this podcast. I finally stopped arguing with the evidence. The podcast is real, the books are real, the businesses are real, the community is real, the studio is real, the life I've been building is real, and maybe that's what happens when you finally embrace the person you're becoming. You stop apologizing for taking up space, you stop talking yourself out of opportunities, you stop dismissing compliments before they even have a chance to land. You stop acting like everything good that happens to you was just luck. You stop introducing yourself as a version of yourself that no longer exists. Not because you're you've arrived, not because you're done growing, not because there aren't bigger dreams ahead. Trust me. I still have plenty of those, but because you finally allow yourself to appreciate where you are while still being excited about where you're going, you stop feeling guilty for being proud of something you worked hard to build, you stop treating your accomplishments like accidents, you stop shrinking yourself every time life tries to hand you evidence that you've actually grown. And I think that's what I'm embracing right now. Not the idea that I go right somewhere, not the idea that I become everything I want to become because it's not, but the idea that I don't have to keep pretending. I'm still the woman I was five years ago. I don't have to keep introducing myself as a person who was struggling to survive when I've spent years working to build something better. I can honor her, I can appreciate her, I can be grateful for everything she endured, but I don't have to stay there. The woman who left Puerto Rico years ago, almost nine years ago, isn't the same woman who came back from Puerto Rico's last trip. The woman who recorded episode one isn't the same woman recording episode 53. This episode. The woman who dreamt about this studio isn't the same woman sitting inside it today. I've changed, I've grown, I've built things, I've survived things, I've accomplished things, and maybe it's finally okay to acknowledge that without immediately trying to make it smaller. What I'm embracing right now is simple. I can't appreciate where I can get where I came from without living there. I can be proud of what I've built without feeling guilty about it. I can acknowledge my growth without apologizing for it, and I can stop arguing with the evidence every time life tries to show me how far I've come. Especially when I can recognize outside of my home. Because the person who left isn't the person who came back. And honestly, I think it's finally time for me to meet her and to fully embrace her. Until next time, guys, stay unfiltered, stay unapologetic, stay unstoppable, and I'll see you in the next episode. Love you bunches. We're unfiltered, unapologetic. That's sad.