Why Most People Never Change : The Brutal Truth About Results, Excuses & Personal Responsibility

In this powerful episode of Mojo and Co, we dive deep into the real reason most people struggle to transform their body, mindset, and life, despite wanting change so badly. From “burning desire” and radical ownership to trust, communication, and coachability, this conversation breaks down the exact qualities that separate successful clients from those who stay stuck in the same cycle for years. 

The episode explores why excuses keep people trapped, how identity shifts create lasting transformation, and why taking extreme ownership is one of the most important steps toward achieving real results. We also unpack the importance of honest communication in coaching relationships and share candid insights from years of working with clients in health, fitness, and personal development.

If you’ve ever felt frustrated with your progress, stuck in an all-or-nothing mindset, or unsure why change feels so hard, this episode delivers tough love, motivation, and actionable perspective that could completely shift the way you approach growth.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

The common denominator here is me.

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:02

You know?

SPEAKER_00 0:03

It's one of those things. You can never resulter you have excuses. You just can't. Pick one.

SPEAKER_01 0:08

Welcome to Mojo, the podcast for unapologetic midlife women who are done playing small, done guessing, and done finding their body instead of understanding it. I'm your host, Katie Fleet, and this podcast is for women who are ready to get their mojo back. Their confidence, their power, and the connection to their body back. We talk hormones, confidence, body image, relationships, and real life with zero filters and absolutely no BS. Nothing is off limits here. If you're ready to feel powerful in your body again and remember who the heck you are, you're exactly where you belong. Let's go. All right, we're back for more. Me and Dustin, Mojo and Co. Co. being Dustin. Oh, there you go.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

Episode number three for me, our third time to charm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Co-host. See what I did there? Yeah. Mojo and co-host.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

I like it. I like it. I'm good.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

Um, all right, we're gonna talk about um what makes a good client. I feel like we could probably talk about this. This could be a much longer episode, but we're gonna do our best to condense it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

So maybe some of your clients are listening. No, I'm just gonna go. No, I will say that.

SPEAKER_01 1:31

I'm obsessed with our clients. I will say that. They're just amazing.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

Um but if you are listening, this could make you better, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:39

So it's always good, better, best, right? Like you're either you're either getting better or you're getting worse every single day. That is true. So here we go.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

That is true. All right, I'll let you start out. You want to start out?

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Sure. Um, yeah, and like I said, I the number one thing I would say to that that's gonna make a successful client or a good client is it's gonna come down to their their their level of desire to actually change. And when I do you know, I do all the consultations and that's kind of like I'm kind of like the gatekeeper to set people up with our with you and the coaches and stuff, and it's that's the number one thing that I'm that I that I kind of look for on on the calls to make sure that they are a good fit for what we do. And we're a good fit for them. But what I ask for and what I look for is for I ask them a question, is like, do they have a desire to change? And I'm not just saying a regular desire, but it's a I call it a burning desire.

SPEAKER_01 2:30

A burning desire, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

The reason I'm gonna say that is because if you don't if if you don't really have like if if whatever your goal is, if it's not really something that you are passionate about and you have a desire to actually obtain, and you're just like it'd be nice, I wish I could, I'd like to try. This is a someday thing, maybe I can like those are also those are words that are like nope, you're not gonna be a fit, right? We're not we're not gonna be able to help you. I ask a question do you have a burning desire to get to this stuff? Because if you do not have a burning desire, I can promise you you're never gonna take action, or you're never gonna be taking the radical action that it takes to actually achieve it. And if you never take action, guess what happens? You are literally going to be right. Yeah, like if nothing changes, nothing changes, right? It's gonna get worse, right? And I always tell you like six to twelve months from now, you have a decision. You're either going to be right where you're at, or you're gonna be worse, or you're gonna be better. You're gonna be better, right? And that's the decision you have to make. And I would say if you don't have a burning desire to actually go out and do that and you're not willing to do what it takes to to accomplish that, you're probably not gonna be a good fit, as you're not gonna be a good client.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

Right.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

Uh totally true. And it's not to be a jerk, it's just to be like, I'm literally like not wanting to waste somebody's time.

SPEAKER_01 3:41

Exactly. Well, um, that book, Think and Grow Rich. Have you ever read that?

SPEAKER_00 3:46

I have.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

You have? Okay, yeah. So, you know, they do this. I can't remember exactly how it is because it's been ages since I've read it. Yeah, it's like 16 characteristics of successful people. Like he did this, conduct, like studied the most successful people in the world. And all what he found was all of the successful people, the most successful people in the world that he studied, they all had the same 16 characteristics. And I think it was the first one was they all had a burning desire to be successful, to accomplish whatever they set out to accomplish.

SPEAKER_00 4:20

Yeah, who knows? I probably got that from that book. I don't know. Yeah, well, yeah, but it's true, it's true though.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

Like that's just that's not even in like physical transformation. That's like any goal or achievement that you set out to achieve. Like building a business would be the same thing. Like, if you're not like obsessed with it and so passionate about it, then your business is probably not gonna do very well.

SPEAKER_00 4:44

Yeah, and and I and you want to stress too, like it does like that does not mean you have to come in with like that all or nothing all or nothing mentality. Like you can't be all in and all out. No, what I mean by burning desire is like I'm and what I mean by willing to do what it takes to get there is mean is like when you do have that moment where life hits you in the face and you do have the adversity and you do fall down, it's like are you willing to keep going? Are you willing to get up and do what it takes? Or are you going to say, fuck it, I give up and quit, right? Because the most successful people in the world still have issues, problems, absolutely still not perfect, but they never give up, they never quit their own. And that's what you would find that's you would find the most people that that don't commit to being a client of ours, those are the people that you can you kind of look at and you're like, there's a reason why they've started over so many times. There's a reason why they've tried this for years and years and years, because they've never got to the point where they're like, I'm all in, I'm committed, and no matter what I have, good day, bad day, I'm still gonna get up and get going. Yeah, a good coach is gonna be able to change that person's identity, change their habits, change their routine, get them in that mindset where they're gonna be, hey, yeah, this is yeah, this is who I am now. It's like this is like brushing my teeth. I couldn't even imagine life without it. Right. It's just and that's that's so it is, like I said, it's that we we when we say good client, we're looking for a good client so that we can coach them up and you know well, actually, I I just used this analogy the other day.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

Um, and you know, it was a client talking about, you know, how she had a really bad week, you know, which hey, again, we all have. I've had them, you've had them, we get them. Like that that's that's part of being human. You know, have another one and they're gonna come up again. Exactly. And I, you know, I gave this analogy which I've been using for years. It's like think of that like, you know, when you have a flat tire, you don't go around and slash the other three tires just because you have one flat. No, you get it repaired. And it's the same concept. Guess what? You had a bad week. Okay, cool. Get back up.

SPEAKER_00 6:42

100%.

SPEAKER_01 6:43

You know what? It's just their ability to be able to get back up when they are down.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

Yep. And I would say, so that would be so good client, number one, desire. If you don't have it, you're not ready.

SPEAKER_01 6:52

Right. All right, quick pause to talk about my company, MojoFitCo, because this deserves a moment. MojoFitco was built for midlife women who feel off in their body and are just tired of being told to eat lemon, move more, and deal with it. All right. Women battling hormones, belly fat that comes out of nowhere, low energy, mood swings, and the constant feeling of why do I not feel like myself anymore? No, this is not a basic fitness program, and it is definitely not built by Jim Broad 20-year-old influencers. MojoFit How is built for women. Five women designed specifically for this phase of life. Inside, we don't get it, we don't punish your body, and we don't hand you another plan that you gotta figure out on your own. We look at the full picture, four moves, metaphysics, dress, lifestyle, everything that you need all under one roof. Because you are never too old to get your mojo back, I can assure you that. And you also need support from someone that actually understands the female body at this stage of life. So if you're ready to feel strong, sexy, clear-headed, and confident again in your body, and you're done with all of the free or cheap VS out there and you want a forever solution, you can apply by clicking the link in the show notes. All right, now let's get back to it. Okay, number two, I'm gonna say extreme ownership and taking extreme ownership and being willing to be coachable, be coached.

SPEAKER_00 8:37

Yeah, ownership's huge, right? Yeah, you you it's one of those things like you got to be accountable for your decisions, you got to be accountable for your actions, you gotta be accountable for your choices. If you're not, and you're always going to play the victim, if you're going to blame everything and everyone else on your issues and your problems and why you couldn't do X, Y, and Zoom, right? Then it's gonna be very, very difficult and challenging to be coached. Because to be coachable, you got to be willing to accept the criticism, right? And accept part of the blame and say, Hey, it's on me. I I messed up this week. It's on me 100%, not you. Uh, because if not, then you're always gonna go like, well, it's my plan, it's my nutrition, it's my training, it's because of this, it's because of that.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

And it's like my kids kept me busy. My like if you're constantly doing that, you are constantly going to find an excuse. Like one week it's gonna be your kids' schedules, the next week it's gonna be your work schedule, the next week it's gonna be because your you know, your anniversary came up and you went out you know on a weekend getaway. The next week it's gonna be something different. The next week it'll be because your dog died. The next week it'll be like it will literally always be something. Yeah, so you have to literally just stop and be like, okay, wait, hang on. Maybe the common denominator here is me.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

You know, it's one of those things.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

You can have you can have results or you can have excuses, you just can't have both pick one, right? Um, but the people that um are accountable and the people that do take radical insurance, best clients. Like they're the best clients in the world because it's like, I can help that person.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

We can change, we can, we can find out why you made those choices, right? Right. And then the next time we're in that circumstance, we've learned we're gonna be able to learn from this, right? That's part of being a great coach too, is like, hey, look, we're we're gonna help you with this. Right. We're gonna get you in that like mindset where you won't make that decision. And if you do make that decision, you know it's not gonna be the end of the world. Yeah. Right. So that's that's yeah, yeah, ownership is critical.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

Right, right. Well, it and um that also kind of goes back to or relates a little bit with like just being willing to be coached. Because if you're not willing, like here's the thing if if you are not an expert in body transformation, then why the heck are you trying to do it on your own? But on the same token, it's like you have to, when you enter a relationship, whether it's with me or with someone else, another program, like you also have to be open to feedback, you know? And I'm blessed that I'm at a point now in in, you know, just the all the years that I've been doing this, which it hasn't always been this way. Like when we first started or started, I would, I would sign up anybody and everybody that wanted to work with me. Now I'm selective because I'm like, look, are they coachable? Or are you gonna try to get in there and tell me how to do my job? Are you gonna get in there and say, well, I'm not doing that and I'm not doing that, and I'm not willing to do that, and I can't do that. Like if you're that type of person, okay, good luck. You know, then keep trying to figure it out on your own.

SPEAKER_00 11:25

Yeah, and we've had that in the world.

SPEAKER_01 11:27

We have, and you know what? And I've said, you know what, we're not a good fit for part ways.

SPEAKER_00 11:32

Yeah. Well, it is. I mean, that's that that's the bottom line, right?

SPEAKER_01 11:35

I mean, it's just one of those things like you you gotta be willing to take feedback and be open to a new way.

SPEAKER_00 11:42

If Judy if Judy's plan worked, then Judy wouldn't be here. Exactly. So let's let's come in and do our our process, not your process. And if you do our process and it doesn't work, well, that's not your fault. It's our fault, right? Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 11:53

But you gotta actually do it. Yeah, yeah. Totally, totally. All right, which brings me, I think, to the next point. And that would just be like honesty and communication. Communication's huge, like just in any thing that you do, and any successful marriage and any successful uh relationship and anything you do, communication is key. And that is also one of the very first things that I tell my clients is like, look, this is a two-way street. You gotta communicate with me. You got like if I don't have data, if I if you're not, you know, if if you're one of those people where I need you to track your food and you're not tracking your food, I don't have anything to go off of. You're not tracking your food, you're not tracking your weight, you're not tracking your pictures, you're not doing your workouts, like you're not communicating, you're not even saying, like, hey, uh, I need help over here, you're not even doing that. Then it's like, well, then I don't have the data that I need to be able to do my job. So you have to be able to communicate to receive help.

SPEAKER_00 12:50

You're really, really good at everything, but you can't read minds, I don't think, yet.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

If we if you could read minds, but it's because it's on your face, you wear it all on your face. Sure.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

But it makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

Like when you're literally, how many times are you you think in your head and you like make gestures with your hands? Have you ever noticed that? Yes. And I could tell, like, the conversation that's going on in your head. Like, I I'm about 90% sure I could nail it and tell you what you're thinking about just by your hand gestures. Like, you do it all the time, especially like when we're walking outside and I look over and he's like moving his hands, he's like having an internal dialogue with himself.

SPEAKER_00 13:29

I am my own best friend, and I have I have more conversations with myself on a day-to-day basis than I do anybody else, right? So sometimes I go in a I go into a zone where I I know I do it too, and I can have my Oh my gosh, it's so funny.

SPEAKER_01 13:42

But other than And I talk with my hands. You do, so you do, but other than you, no, I cannot read minds.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

Yeah to your point. So and I think the I'm gonna piggyback off the communication. I think it's it's trust and communication. Correct, yes. So like it's like because I think too, in a great, you know, because it is when you're when you're if you're going to be a client, you're going to get into a you're gonna build relationships, you're gonna build a relationship with your coach, right? You're gonna build a relationship with you, and then like any great relationship in this world is built on trust and communication. Yep. If you know you gotta trust, like the clients come in and have to trust you and our coaches that they know what the hell they're doing, yeah, and they gotta communicate with them. Yeah, our coaches in turn and you have to trust the clients that they're actually gonna do right what they say they're doing, and they're not just gonna make up bullshit. Because again, if you're lying to a coach, like you're just lying to yourself, like you're not hurting them, you're hurting yourself, right?

SPEAKER_01 14:29

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

And then at the same time, though, they have to be able to communicate our coaches and you like you we have to be able to communicate with our clients, right? So it's like anything, it's like any kind of like you think about all the like in in sports. I'm always gonna go back to sports, but you think about like the best, the when you were your best self and you were um and you were like it all came down to like did your like a great coach, a great leader has relationships. Develop relationships with their players, build relationships with their players and know more about their players. And the more you can build a relationship with somebody, the more that person will trust you. And if you have their trust, then you've earned the right to tell them anything that you can possibly tell them. They can take the criticism and they can accept the you know the uh uh what is the word I'm looking for? Uh praise, right? Yeah, right. And if you don't build that trust, then that's when those things kind of don't land and you think, well, that person's just being an asshole. That's person's being a jerk. No, if they trust you, then they're gonna look at it like this person really cares about me.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:27

So I think those two things are critical in in as far as um a good coaching relationship and a good client relationship is that that trust and communication.

SPEAKER_01 15:34

For sure. Okay, I got one more.

SPEAKER_00 15:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

Um wait, no, I don't. Because my next one was trust. So just kidding.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

Well, bring you back on the code. You covered it. Well, yeah, no, you covered it.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

You literally, I was I had a list, I was like, wait a minute, you already said it without me even realizing. That's all right. So, yeah, we got what do we say? Having that desire, desire to change, taking extreme ownership would be one, honesty and willing to communicate, and then trust.

SPEAKER_00 16:04

Yeah. So, like, look, I mean, if you hit those, if if those are your qualities and that's where you're at, hey, give us a give us a show.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

Use the link in the show notes to apply.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

Pick this link and apply, and you get to talk to me first and foremost. People are like, I love when people get on there like some of these women are like, what the hell am I talking to this guy for?

SPEAKER_01 16:20

But um like And then they find out you're my husband, they're like, Oh, okay, it makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 16:23

Yeah, I've been like I've been married Katie for 20 years. Like, there is nothing you're gonna say to me that's going to hurt my feelings, or you can you can literally tell me, like, look, brother, I hate your face. I don't like your attitude. Like, you can call me an asshole. It doesn't matter to me.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

Listen, I can assure you, the women are not gonna hate your face.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

Well, I'm just saying I'm like, but I will tell them, like, I mean, I will say, like, look, like, my number one job again is to make sure we can help you. Yeah, make sure you're a good fit. Because, like you said, like we're not here to work with everybody with a pulse on a credit card. Like, when you the people that do that, unfortunately, are just more about like how many people can they sign up versus how many people can actually help. Because if we can't help you, yeah, we don't want to work with you. Yeah, you're not willing to do what it takes. I don't want to work with you. We're a results company and we're going and and we're gonna thrive. And and our whole entire goal is to help people and and get people to the the to their best selves. Yeah, if you're not ready for that, if you're not willing to do what it takes to that, like we don't want you. I would literally tell you, like, look, I don't think this is for you. Yeah, please don't be offended by it. I just don't think you're and that's not a bad thing.

SPEAKER_01 17:25

No, and I think it's honestly because why would I feel like you're doing them a favor?

SPEAKER_00 17:28

Yeah, why would I want to take your money just to go through the motions, right? Um, you know, we want you to invest in yourself, right? And that's number one thing. Invest in yourself, and then by you doing that, then hey, yeah, we're gonna we're gonna do some awesome things together.

SPEAKER_01 17:41

So love it. Love it, love it. All right, well, it's sunny out, so I say let's go for a walk.

SPEAKER_00 17:46

All right, shall we?

SPEAKER_01 17:47

All right, thanks for joining. We'll see you next time.