63. Getting Support Will Accelerate Real Change

We break the myth that self-reliance equals strength and show how asking for help speeds progress, restores energy and builds confidence. 

My stories from the gym floor, the sales desk and real coaching investments reveal why implementation beats information.

• letting go of DIY shame and isolation
• information versus integration and action
• coaching as a shortcut for trial and error
• lessons from wins, flops and re-dos
• building confidence through reps, not scripts
• choosing mentors who have walked the path
• putting skin in the game to stay engaged
• moving forward while feeling all the feelings

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with somebody who might need a little bit of encouragement right now.

Connect with Me

Instagram: www.instagram.com/tianamoves

Website: unbreakablemb.com

Email: info@unbreakablemb.com

Get on the waitlist for my new Strength Training Program: HERE

Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only. This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Core Theme
• 0:51 Ditching Shame Around Asking For Help
• 3:16 Truth Teller Mindset And Sales Reality
• 4:28 Information Vs Implementation
• 6:02 Vulnerability, Courage, And Speed To Results
• 7:30 Investing In Coaches: Wins And Lessons
• 10:29 Confidence Built Through Reps And Re-Do’s
• 13:18 Take Action Over Analysis
• 14:39 Permission To Seek Support And Move Forward
• 26:39 Gratitude And Share The Message

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:07

Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body Podcast. I am your host, Tiana Gonzalez, a multi-passionate creative, storyteller, and entrepreneur with a fierce love for movement. This is our space for powerful stories and actionable strategies to help you build mental resilience and elevate your self-care practice. Together, we will unlock the tools that you need to create an unbreakable mind and body. Welcome back to the show. I'm your host, Tiana. This is episode 63. I am so grateful to have you here in this space with me. Now, I want to ask you something. Have you ever told yourself I should be able to do this on my own when it comes to a goal or something you want to accomplish? If you have, you're in the right space. Because in this episode, we're going to break down the shame around asking for help and why doing it yourself might actually be the thing that's keeping you stuck. And we're going to talk about what actually changes when you let yourself be supported, whether it's in your health and wellness, in your fitness, in your career, in your relationships, whatever it is, we're going to dive into it. Because if you are tired, you're probably just tired from carrying it all, and you're actually not lazy. Even though the social constructs of our life, the way that we operate in society, the 24-hour uptime could make you feel like there's something wrong with you. And there isn't. Now, I want to remind you that if you feel triggered by anything I say, it comes from a place of love. It comes from a space of familiarity. It comes from being there and having done that myself. There's nothing I talk about on this show that I haven't actually lived. And I hope that you know that. Now, I am the friend that makes people uncomfortable. I am always the one that's the mirror. I see the thing that a lot of people miss. I don't know if it's a gift or a curse. And it's a very lonely life I live sometimes because I am of truth. So when I am in the company of somebody and I know that they could be doing something better, or you know, they're not living up to their fullest potential, or they're full of crap, and I want to encourage them to be better, do better, live better, I'm gonna say it. I'm the one that stirs the pot. I always have been and I always will be. Now, of course, there's a there's a thing called time and place, right? And I also believe that you gotta play this smart. You get more bees with honey. And for someone like me, I basically work in sales, okay? Yes, I am a fitness professional. I train people and work on their nutrition for a living. And I'm a salesperson because I have to sell my coaching and I have to sell sessions and I have to run a business. And yes, I work at a gym. So that's the primary business that I'm talking about. But even when I was an entrepreneur, even when I, you know, worked in corporate America, I represented a brand and I had to be a salesperson. And there are many instances in which people want to save money, people want to just try to figure it out themselves. And it's no mystery how I feel about this because I've been on both sides of this equation, and I will tell you that more often than not, what you save in money, you're going to waste tenfold in time. We live in an age of information. But information is not enough. Once you have the information, you need to know how to integrate it into the current space you're in and then implement. And it's trial and error. So then you need someone to help you, you need someone to mentor you, you need someone to coach you, you need someone to hold you accountable. So when you are telling yourself that you are not going to spend the money or you're not gonna pursue that, I think my neighbors upstairs are having a party, so I apologize if you hear them yelling. Um, when you decide not to pursue that because you want to save a little bit, or you tell yourself, well, I'm smart enough to figure it out on my own, yeah, yes, of course you are. But it's not about figuring it out on your own. It's about being able to make it stick and to do it in a way that works with you. Now, a transformation is gonna require you to become someone new, but it's a slow and steady process. So realize that you're not asking for too much, but you shouldn't have to feel like you have to do it alone. Okay. So I want you to recognize that being vulnerable requires courage. And if you're gonna be courageous and you're gonna put yourself out there and you're gonna ask someone for help, I commend you. I applaud you, and I think that that's fucking great. But I need you to recognize that it is not a sign of weakness, it doesn't mean you're failing, it doesn't mean you're giving up. It means that you just haven't found the solution yet, but you know it's out there. So I will tell you this. When you want a solution, do you want the solution right now or do you want it to take months or years? You want it right now. You want it right now. So if money was no object, which one would you pick? Would you pick going through all the hoops, jumping through all the hoops, going through the circus to get to the destination, or would you just choose having the answer now and being that new person, leveling up? I I choose a little the level up option every fucking time. And what's amazing about investing in yourself is that it's never a waste. I was sharing this with my partner the other day. We were talking about professional development. And in 2021, I invested in myself. I had three different coaches. So I had one coach that I worked with for the full year. And her program, I'm still a legacy student in her program. So five years later, I still have access to all of the material, to all of the new material, even though she's had multiple cohorts since I was actively participating in her program. And while I don't join the monthly calls that the new people are in, we do have a legacy call once a month that I'm invited to, as well as all of the coursework and materials. So I'd say that was a great investment. I also have access to the coach. I can message her at any time and she'll answer me because I've earned that. The second person that I worked with, we were on a three-month contract. He taught me sales. We're still connected on social media. I can reach out if I need him. And that was a great investment because I learned a ton. And then the third uh investment that I made was a course that actually taught me a little bit of what I don't want to do, and it was a great lesson. Uh, and this was how to like launch an offer and do it in a way that uses Facebook groups and you go live multiple times in one week at the same time each day. I tried it. Uh, it wasn't that great, but I got great experiences to tap into and reflect upon and call upon because even now I can still look back on those investments and say, well, yeah, it was worth it because I learned all of these different things that I use now. In 2022, I invested in another program which was a little bit more like um woo, spiritual, all about activations and mantras and really working through some inner child stuff that I really needed help with. And I still have access to all of that material, so as well as new material that gets uh added to the where the course is housed online. So that's great. And then I've also had mentors just kind of in the wings, not necessarily in a coach-client relationship, but people that I can tap into, that are trustworthy, that I know have my back. So I've invested a significant amount of money into my health, my well-being. And then, of course, I've mentioned my current mentor who I've worked with all almost all of 2025. And she really helped me get clear on how to show up, not only online, but even in my sessions with my clients, and then to work around even further some inner work that I really needed help with because I felt like I was at a roadblock. So I don't even know the number, but it's definitely significant in the double digits of thousands of, you know, in the tens of thousands of dollars, I would say, over the last six or seven years. And I'm gonna tell you, it was worth it. And it's worth it every time. Because even if I learned something that I don't want to do, even if I got that confirmation, that's valid. And of course, you know me. I have notes, I have notebooks, I wrote down everything, the things I've tried, the things I didn't try, the courses I launched that flopped, the six-month membership that I launched from that live experience that I tried out, that was crickets. And I will tell you, it is so challenging to show up online over and over and over again and to question if what you're doing is valid, if what you're doing is making a difference. And just like this podcast, every time I say to myself, you know, this is a lot of work, and I don't know if I should just keep doing it because I don't know if I'm helping anybody. And then literally the same day, I will get a text message, I will get a call, I will get an email, I will get something from someone saying this episode was great or that episode helped me with this, or I never saw it that way, and that's confirmation. But going back to asking for help, because that's really what we're here to talk about. How do you know when it's time to ask for help? When are you going to say, okay, I've been trying this thing long enough. Now I need to call in the big guns. Now I need to start looking for somebody who has walked the walk, has been where I am, and has gotten through already to that next level, unlocked the next tier, or has done what I want to do. In the fitness space, it's probably somebody who looks like what you want to look like or has competed in a sport that you want to compete in. Maybe it's hierarchs, maybe it's crossfit, maybe it's powerlifting, maybe it's bodybuilding, maybe it's a marathon. These things are important. And if it if you have it on your heart, it's something that you need to do. So if you're stuck in the same cycle, if you're feeling exhausted from decision fatigue, if you feel like even though you have a lot of information but you're not seeing progress, or if you're even feeling silently resentful because you're comparing yourself to others, I'd say this is probably a good time. I want you to think about why are you still trying to earn someone's help or support instead of allowing it, instead of making it happen. See, when you make an investment, now you're on the hook. You've got skin in the game. It's just like um let's say fantasy football. So fantasy football, I did it this past football season for the first time ever. It was uh 50 cent, um 50 cents. It was fifty dollars to get a team in this league. And$50 is, you know, for me personally, I said this is a good way for me. It's a low barrier of entry. It's not like$500 or$5,000 for something that I knew very little about. And so I got my feet wet and I thoroughly enjoyed the process of learning about it, learning how to do it, how to pick people for the draft, how to move people around each week, like look at stats. And I'm not the biggest football fan in the world, but I paid attention because I had a team. And I will say it was so fun, but because I invested the$50, I was into it. I made sure to check in a couple times a week, not every day. I even had to like turn the notifications off in the fantasy football app because it was just a bit too much for me. But I had skin in the game. I put in 50 bucks and I had a chance, you know, early in the season, I had a chance to win. I actually had beginner's luck. I think I got a good quarterback, Josh Allen, uh, from the Buffalo Bills. Unfortunately, by the time you hear this, they're gonna be out. But um it was great. It was a good learning experience, and I'll probably do it again next year. So when you put yourself on the hook, you're gonna be more invested in it. You're gonna show up, you're gonna do your homework, you're gonna put in the reps, you're gonna make sure that you are soaking in all of the material because you made that investment. So I want to tell you it's time for you to ask for help. There's no shame, there's no fear, there's no over-explaining. Just do it. Because once you actually say yes to getting support, to having a mentor, to doing the thing, you're gonna start to see the after picture so much easier. It will become more clear for you. It helps, it will help you to gain confidence. You'll actually make some progress, you'll see the momentum building. And that's how you shift things from feeling like you're burning out and breaking down to breaking through. Of all of the things I said just now, the confidence piece is probably the biggest player. And I want to share with you just quickly, uh, I might have mentioned it in a previous episode, but I am creating a private podcast. It'll be low-ticket offer under$100 investment, and it's basically a 10-part mini-series. Each episode is so 10 episodes, and each one is under 20 minutes, probably even most of them are under 15, on how to build muscle and get stronger. It's geared towards women who know how to lift. Now, why am I bringing this up? Because it's been a process for me to create this offer. One, I had to get over the mental hurdles and roadblocks and imposter syndrome of like, we've done this before, and it failed. It didn't fail. It taught me how to get stronger and be mentally resilient, and it prepared me for what I'm about to share with you because I recorded and uploaded on the host platform nine of the 10 episodes. And I went back and started listening to them just to make sure the recordings were clear, there were no um pops or anything crazy in the background. And I realized I needed to re-record four of the episodes out of the ten. And I did that today. I literally recorded all four just with an outline, not a script. I can't do a script, and I'm gonna tell you, I cannot do a script on this show either because it's not natural for me. It's not natural. I can't just read off of a piece of paper, I have to just let it flow in freestyle. That's when I am at my best. And on a sidebar, and you know your girl's gonna take you on a side quest because that's what I do. Years ago, I was onboarding to work at this boutique studio, and it was similar to Barry's boot camp, but a little bit different. And we had to do some motivational speaking within the workout. So it was a nice combination of being tough but encouraging, being very um technical with the workouts, cueing on time, and also motivating the team, the crowd, the members in the room in the studio during the class. Uh so I had to curate these amazing playlists, which I I'll say I was pretty fucking good at. And I would get inspiration to talk about things all the time. And then I would write these beautiful show notes on index cards that I could carry around easily with me because remember, I had a stopwatch, I had to control the volume of the music, and sometimes there were two groups. Doing different things, and I had to be able to cue both sides of the room during the workout before they switched places. And every time I had a nice script written out, guess what would happen? I would choke. I would completely choke. Because I'd be so caught up in the moment that I would forget where I was, or it wouldn't fit with the music or wouldn't align with the vibe. But as I relaxed and just allowed myself to freestyle and just touch upon something that either happened that morning or happened that day before, or was valid for the people in the room, it was an amazing experience. So, yeah, that's my side quest for the day. Why did I bring that up? Because in talking about confidence, I went back and re-recorded four episodes of this 10-episode series that I am creating right now, separate from Unbreakable. And I was able to just do it like no problem. It didn't stress me out. It didn't feel like a huge undertaking. For some people, they would be like, What? Oh no, you had to do that whole thing over again. Oh my God, that's terrible. And I'm gonna tell you, that's where that confidence that's from all the work I've done in previous years. You you can't fake that shit. It's just like when you make a mistake, but it's a mistake that's not, you know, not a big deal. You you just reroute, reroute. But until you've actually gotten some reps in, it feels like this huge undertaking. But the more you do it, the easier it becomes. So that confidence that I had, that ability to just say, no, this could be better. I need to fix this and just do it. And I did it all today. So four episodes of the other podcast plus this one. And I will tell you this also, I don't edit a lot. I can't. I fucking hate that shit. If you hear a little car going off in the background or a baby in the hallway, I live in an apartment building in a city. What do you want from me? That's life. That makes this show human. And I want you to experience my life, my voice, my space, my world. Because it's pretty cool. And it's not filtered, it's not edited, it's not curated. This is the real shit. And I'm confident that you'll be cool with it. But that confidence has only come from years and years and years of fucking up, making mistakes, doing things, doing it messy, doing it imperfectly, spilling the drink on your shirt. Oops, you know, tripping on yourself, scuffing your white shoes, whatever. That's what makes us human, and that's what makes us fucking beautiful. But if you keep analyzing and staying stuck, you won't get the experience. You won't have the sunburn and know next time you got to put the sunscreen on, or you won't trip on your on the walkway and know that next time you need to watch out for that. That only comes from doing, it only comes from stepping out into the world. It only comes from taking action. And we don't sit around here, we don't cry, we don't worry, we take action. My mother always used to tell me when I was younger listen to me, you're going through something difficult and it's upsetting. I understand. And yeah, you're allowed to cry, you're allowed to show your emotions, but in the heat of the moment, when you're in the thick of it, you got to keep it moving. You're going through hell, you got to get out of there. So that means you got to keep going. You can't just stand still and sit in your own shit. There will be time after when you're out of the woods that you could look back and cry, that you could say, Oh my God, I can't believe that happened. That you could sit and analyze. But in the heat of the moment, you need to be tactical. You need to take action and you need to get out of that shit. Okay. I need to calm down a little bit because I'm very excited. So say yes to yourself. Give yourself permission to ask for help. Find somebody who can help you get what it is you want. And if money is an issue, which no judgment, money's an issue for a lot of us. I cannot believe how many vacant stores I'm seeing. I don't live in New York City. I'm just outside of New York City in a suburb, but I'm in a small city. And left and right, stores are just closing, and it says for rent. And it makes me sad because it's a sign that, like, okay, what's going on here? Is the rent that high that these businesses are all closing everywhere? What the fuck is going on? I'm old school. I like to shop in person, I like to go for walks, I love to go to restaurants, I like to go to the mall. The mall's cool, but there's also something to be said for little mom and pops. And I like to support smaller business. So this makes me worried. But anyway, on that note, I want you to take action. I want you to give yourself permission. I want you to say yes. I want you to remember that standing still and sitting in your own shit is not going to get you anywhere. You you can feel sorry for yourself a little bit. You can cry. That's okay. But you still need to move forward, even if you have the tears running down your cheeks while you're doing it. Okay? Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate your time and attention as always. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with somebody who might need a little bit of encouragement right now. Because we're all kind of going through it in our own way, in our own time and place and shape and form, and in our own existence. And we are all connected to each other because that is what life is. I'll catch you on the next one.