84. The Skills I Couldn't Afford (& Bought Anyway)

Every dollar you spend on yourself tells a story, but most of us never stop to ask what kind of story it is. Picture the classes, certifications, coaches, books, programs, and “I’ll totally use this” tools you’ve bought over the years and sort them into two piles: investment or expense. That one exercise can change your money mindset fast, because it forces clarity on what actually compounds and what simply disappears.

You’ll hear the real-world side of self-investment too, including the uncomfortable math, the delayed return on investment, and why meaningful skill-building rarely shows up on your timeline. I share practical questions to test any purchase, plus a simple three-part reflection you can do this week to make smarter decisions with your time, energy, attention, and money.

If this helps you reframe a purchase you’re weighing right now, subscribe, share the episode with a friend, and leave a review so more people can build an Unbreakable Mind & Body with us.

If you want the deeper lessons behind strength training, join my newsletter called Between Reps: Building the Unbreakable Woman. Check it out HERE

Instagram: www.instagram.com/tianamoves

Website: unbreakablemb.com

Email: info@unbreakablemb.com

Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only.  This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.

Transcript

The Two Piles Exercise

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body Podcast. I am your host, Tiana Gonzalez, a multi-passionate creative, storyteller, and entrepreneur with a fierce love for movement. This is our space for powerful stories and actionable strategies to help you build mental resilience and elevate your self-care practice. Together, we will unlock the tools that you need to create an unbreakable mind and body. Welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_01 0:39

I'm your host, Tiana, and I want you to picture every dollar you have ever spent on yourself: a class, coach, certification, a course, university, a book you didn't finish. And I want you to sort these things into two piles: investment or expense. Most people have never actually done this exercise, and that's exactly why for many, they end up stuck in the same place, feeling like they can't get ahead. And it's because they don't know how to differentiate these two things. They put everything into the same pile. And I used to do the same thing also. I didn't know there were different ways to look at how we're spending our money. Now, I've been thinking a lot about money mindset and about building my skill sets. And as a trainer, where I'm having conversations with folks who are really looking to change their lives, they're either there because the doctor told them they need to get healthier or they want to be healthier for their family, for their children, for their grandchildren, whatever the case may be. They know that they need this, and yet still, when it gets to the end of our initial conversation, sometimes it's called the discovery session, sometimes it's called a consult. Sometimes it's called an orientation, sometimes it's called an onboarding. Whatever the name of the conversation is, it's a sales conversation. And the hope is at the end of that conversation that both parties feel like the next step, which would be a partnership, would be mutually beneficial. So the prospect would decide to sign on as a client, they would sign a contract, they would purchase goods and services from this trainer, and then they would take the next step together. And I'm noticing that sometimes, even when all signs point to go, when everything feels like, yes, this is the best solution for you, and I'm the best person to facilitate this. There is still a reservation, there's still hesitation, there is still concern that maybe it's too expensive and the person needs to think about this. Now, I'm not going to try to convince anyone of anything. That's not how I roll. So when me personally, when I am at this juncture in a conversation with someone, I'm not a hard sell. Because at the end of the day, I know that if this doesn't start out feeling good, feeling exciting, feeling promising, it's going to be a struggle for this person the whole way through. And it will be harder for me to get their buy-in. Now, what do I mean by buy-in? Well, a buy-in is like there comes a point in every professional partnership or collaboration where, in my case with my clients, where I realize that they trust me, that they ask me the questions they want the answers to, and they run with the answers that I give them. They don't second guess what I say and they don't second guess themselves, which is even more important. But until that happens, it can be a tug of war.

Defining Expenses Versus Investments

SPEAKER_01 4:25

Now, before we go any further in this conversation, I think it's important that we define what I'm talking about here. So when we're talking about an expense, an expense is something that, you know, money leaves you and it doesn't come back. Maybe you pay for something once, like a cup of coffee or roll of toilet paper, or you rent a movie to watch. And you have that experience, but then it's over and done with. And an investment is when money leaves you, but what you get is compounds, maybe a skill, a capability, leverage. Maybe it's income. It's something that maybe is repeatable. Something that allows you to level up in your life, in your career, in your work, in your practice. Now the trap here is that they feel kind of the same in the moment. You swipe your credit card, you're a little nervous, you feel a little stretched and uncomfortable. And the truth is, only time will tell you if the investment was a good one or if it turned out to be an expense for you. Now, this is true with money, but it's also true with time, energy, and your attention.

My Self Investment Numbers

SPEAKER_01 5:56

Now, I want to be really transparent here, and I've only shared this maybe a handful of times on my social media. I've never actually done the number crunching. But I went back and I looked at the investments that I have made in development. Now, when we're talking about development, you can talk about professional development or you can talk about personal development. In my opinion, the investments that I have made, both personally and professionally, are in the same bucket. Because for me, I truly identify hugely in part to what I do for work. Now, I could have a whole podcast show separate on that topic alone about how we define who we are. But for the purpose of this conversation, I just want to mention that for me, I mix all of my investing together, when it's education, when it's a skill, and when it's working with a coach or learning material in a course. So I want to just run you through some numbers so you can get an idea. And I know that for some people listening, they are going to sit with their jaws on the floor when they hear these numbers. And for others, they'll shrug their shoulders and just say, Yeah, whatever. It's like no big deal. It's just a regular day in the office. But for me personally, I'm not emotionally attached to any of these investments. But I will tell you that some of them were really uncomfortable and really stretched me in ways uh probably some people would have said, and some people did say, actually, at in those times, like maybe it wasn't the best time to make those investments because I was maxing out a credit card or you know plundering my checking account. But for me, I don't regret any of these investments. So let's go back. Obviously, I have a bachelor's of science in mechanical engineering. I got that in 2000, and I paid for most of school myself with you know student loans, and my parents did help me a little bit, but I paid the majority of my loans back myself. So uh my education, I went to a state school in New York. I went to Binghamton, great school, really tough to get into back then and even harder to get into now. And it's so funny for me to say this because my total debt when I graduated from college was $44,000. And I know that for many people, that's one year of tuition. And that was actually my total debt for all four years of school. But besides that, in 2013, I spent about $2,000 on getting my personal trainer certification, as well as taking an online course. It was something like a maybe an eight-week course to learn about online training. In 2020, I spent $500 on an Instagram and social media course. It was primarily Instagram, but it did teach a little bit about Facebook and TikTok. In 2021, I spent $6,000. 2022, I spent $3,500. In 2025, I spent $6,000. And in 2026, which is our current year, by the end of this year, I will have invested $14,000 into myself. I know. Chunk of change, big chunk of change, right? So diving into this a little bit further, I'm not saying this as a flex. Truth be told, my investments in this year, I do have some assistance, I have some support, and I have someone in my corner who absolutely 100% believes in me and is my number one cheerleader, the captain of my team, and he's basically the dream because he's like, if you want to do this, and you know that if you don't take this leap and you're gonna regret it someday, then I want to help you any way I possibly can. With that being said, obviously, this most recent investment that I made was a huge deal. It was the biggest investment I ever made. And I think I've talked about this on a previous episode not too long ago, but obviously I took on the payment plan just because I wanted to make it feel a little less painful. And so when I'm looking back at all of these investments, it's a significant amount of money. And I will tell you, I am of the belief that I cannot wait to be ready to then make the investment. I believe that when an opportunity comes knocking on my door and it looks like it could be very promising, and it's offering an education, either in a skill set or a system that I know is gonna stay with me for life, I want to take it. But yeah, sometimes in the past, there's one or two of these investments where it felt a little reckless at the time. And the fear that I felt was not necessarily that I was scared, but it was just about the actual math, the anxiety of, am I gonna get a return on this? Maybe doubting the person on the other end of the call. Maybe a few times having friends tell me, like, you're not generating enough income to really make that kind of investment. And even though it is a business expense, it's huge. You don't want to be poor, you don't want to struggle. And I have to confess that most of my life I have struggled financially because I took a lot of risks. And I always felt like money is like water, it's like energy. You can get more, you can earn more, you can make more, you can manifest more. But maybe this opportunity may never come by me again. And so that's why I'm a little bit of a risk taker when it comes to that. And yes, the big caveat here is that I don't have children. I don't have any other mouths to feed, and that is a huge distinction between me and possibly you or someone you know. You know, I don't want to be ignorant of that because that is a huge factor. I'm only responsible for myself.

Questions That Reveal Real Value

SPEAKER_01 13:34

Now, how do you actually tell the difference? How do you know when something is an investment or is an expense? Because it's not really just about the price tag on something, okay? There are people who make investments that are very small that have a huge return. There are people that make investments that are huge that maybe from a financial gain perspective, they're kind of small or mid. But I think that it's important to ask yourself does this skill still work for me if I stop paying for it? Can I teach it to someone else when I'm done? Is it gonna make something else in my life easier for me? Or teach me something that I can then apply in another part of my life? Maybe it's a transferable skill. And I want you to think about something you've invested in. Maybe it stretched you a little bit, but that maybe until you actually sit and think about it, you're still using it to this day. A really obvious uh example is investing in personal training. Now, there are people who invest in personal trainers that don't learn a fucking thing. They show up, they do the workout, they do what their trainer tells them, they end the session, they leave. And five years later, they still don't know. They don't know the names of things, they don't know the order, they don't remember why they do what they do. I don't want to poo-poo on anybody, but there is a level of responsibility here. We have to be teaching our clients why we're doing what we're doing and not just giving them a good experience. There has to be a balance of both, in my professional opinion. But what about the things you purchase that end up collecting dust that just sit in your closet? I have a whole bunch of them. I have a foam roller, I have lacrosse balls, I have bands, I had a mat, I had mini weights. Let me tell you something. I have, I could count on one hand how many times I've had my foam, I've used my foam roller and I've had it for 10 years. I'll use the foam rollers at the gym when I'm about to work out or when I'm stretching. So I have this whole graveyard of little like fitness gadget gadgets and gizmos, and I bought them and just abandoned them. Now, something else I'd like to ask you. What if you changed how you think about investing? Maybe instead of saying, Is this expensive? Asking yourself, what does this make possible for me? I'm gonna say that again. Instead of thinking, is this expensive? Ask yourself, what does this make possible for me? Isn't that good? That's so good. That's like really, really, really juicy. And this just came to me this morning while I was driving home from the gym and thinking about all of the different ways that I invest in myself. I I struck up a conversation with a member at the gym, and when I walked away, I was just thinking about competition and personal training and and how there are just some things in my life that I have no problem spending money on because I know that they are good investments for me. They make me happy, they make me feel good, they bring me joy, they make my life easier, they make other things possible for me. But not everyone will see it that way. Sometimes people will pay for convenience because that's all they have the time for. Not everyone has the not only the financial means, but also the time and attention to give to a course or an education on something, even though it's valuable and it could be helpful and important in this person's life, but it's all about time and place too.

Why ROI Rarely Shows Up Fast

SPEAKER_01 18:02

Now the return on a real investment in a skill hardly ever shows up on your timeline. So let's say you join a mastermind or you buy a course from someone you've been following on social media for a while, and you really admire this person's work, you consume all of their content, you listen to their podcasts, you buy all of their books, you think they're amazing, and that's great. And then they offer something and it's exciting, and you jump on it, and you think, okay, by the end of the year, I'm gonna have this mastered and I will be able to do X, Y, and Z in my work, in my career, or with my family. And maybe it doesn't turn out that way. But maybe it does in a year or two years or five years. Now, all of the investments that I mentioned previously in in the earlier in this episode, those were not one investment per year. That's the culmination, that was the total that I invested. So in 2021, I actually invested in three different things: a one-year coaching program, um, a one-on-one sales coach that I worked with for three months, and then an eight-week program towards the end of the year to learn how to do live launches in a way that felt good for me in my coaching business. And I will say none of the three of those gave me the return that I was looking for on the timeline that I wanted them to. The one-on-one coaching offer, I am actually a legacy student. I still have access to all of the course materials. And I go back and watch modules still to this day, something that I learned five years ago. I'm still connected to a lot of the amazing students in that course. I obviously still follow the mentor, and you know, we get it on every once in a while in the DMs on Instagram, just you know, a thumbs up or a clapping emoji, just supporting each other. And that's that was a good investment because it gave me not only the education and the skill set, but the confidence, the confidence to then go on to the next thing. So had I not made those investments back then, I wouldn't be who I am today. I wouldn't have the confidence I have today in certain things, and I wouldn't have a basic understanding of certain terminology of how online business is done. And listen, I'm far from an expert, but I know a thing or two, and I wouldn't know these things had I not made those investments. So you can get that skill, start learning it, start applying it, but it will give you your return in dividends in unexpected places, in unexpected conversations, in rooms that you wouldn't expect it to. It'll just show up naturally and organically throughout your career or in your work or on a creative project that you're working on. Because everything culminates together. Everything that you have learned is combined. And maybe you can distinguish, well, I learned this from this person and I learned this from that person. But when you put it all together and you make your own recipe, then that is something special. And there are still a ton of lessons that I am learning every single day about how do I want to invest my time? What do I want to focus on today? Where will I give my attention? Now, I have a lot of personal hobbies besides the podcast. I also am a gym freak, not just for work, but for myself. I paint. I love to take photos. I like to sketch with my little notebook and my pencil, although I have not been sketching enough. But I also love just being out in nature, especially in the warmer months. And I enjoy spending time with people that are important to me. So that's all investing of my time, energy, and attention to. It doesn't always have to be just about work. Now, this wouldn't be an unbreakable mind and body podcast episode if I didn't give you anything to think about over the course of the next few

A Three Step Purchase Reframe

SPEAKER_01 22:46

days. So grab your pen and paper. Let's get to it. This week, I want you to think about one upcoming purchase or maybe something you're pondering, something you have in the cart that you haven't actually purchased yet. It's a class, a tool, a program. And I want you to think about does this compound? Or am I just going to spend the money and it's like a one-time thing? And sort it out before you buy it. Doesn't change the energy there, meaning like it's not going to change, it shouldn't change. I don't want to influence you and say, don't get that thing. You do what you want, but maybe you can reframe how you think about it. Number two, consider keeping a list of all of the skills that you have paid for that have paid you back in dividends. So not just the single purchases, but all of the skills that you have acquired. What do they all have in common? Because you see, that's going to be your investment pattern. So I'll tell you, for me, I've invested in coaching. And then I quickly, especially around the fall of 2025, was able to clearly identify a huge gap in my skill set. And I remember realizing it, like the moment that I realized it, I was like, oh my goodness, I need to do some type of education around X, Y, and Z in order to make myself better. And that's what I sought out. And that's what I am now doing. I am learning these skills. Now, the third thing, next time fear shows up right as you're about to purchase something for yourself, right as you're about to make an investment. Try to name what specifically it is that you're afraid of. Are you afraid you're gonna look foolish? Are you afraid that you're going to fail? Are you afraid that you're wasting your money? Are you afraid that you're gonna spend time on something and it's not gonna work out? You see, the fear is hardly ever about the dollar amount. It's about something else much deeper within yourself. And I don't want you to gaslight yourself out of it. Maybe if you think like, okay, no, this is really not a responsible thing for me to do right now, then don't. But identifying what that fear is will help you then sort it out. So I hope this episode was helpful for you. And I want you to again just take a look at those two different piles: investments and expenses, and think about where you can sort your own spending so that it makes sense for you. If you enjoyed this episode, please send it to a friend. And if you would like to join my email newsletter, check the show notes. You can also find me on Instagram, and we can be friends on that app as well. I appreciate you being here each and every week showing up for yourself and for your future self. And I'll catch you on the next one.