86. Words Have Energy

Your inner voice is not background noise. It is a daily signal that shapes what you believe you deserve, what you tolerate, and what you keep repeating in your life. In this episode, I’m getting personal about how words and thoughts carry energy and why your internal dialogue can be more powerful than any planner, routine, or “fresh start” you try to force.

I take you back to 2006, when I first started exploring the Law of Attraction. We break down the basics. Then we go deeper into the part people avoid: what happens when real trauma and unsafe situations collide with manifestation teachings. I talk candidly about the self-blame trap, the difference between responsibility and shame, and why environment and personal safety choices matter just as much as mindset work.

From there, we make it practical. I share how I began changing my self-talk without gaslighting myself into positivity, how telling the truth can be an act of kindness, and how clear words prevent unspoken expectations that poison relationships. 

I also point you toward resources that can help you explore beliefs and frequency work with an open mind.

If you want more mental resilience, better self-care, and a stronger relationship with yourself, press play, then subscribe to the show so you never miss an episode!

If you want the deeper lessons behind strength training, join my newsletter called Between Reps: Building the Unbreakable Woman. Check it out HERE

Instagram: www.instagram.com/tianamoves

Website: unbreakablemb.com

Email: info@unbreakablemb.com

Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only.  This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.

Transcript

Words Have Energy

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body Podcast. I am your host, Tiana Gonzalez, a multi-passionate creative, storyteller, and entrepreneur with a fierce love for movement. This is our space for powerful stories and actionable strategies to help you build mental resilience and elevate your self-care practice. Together, we will unlock the tools that you need to create an unbreakable mind and body. Welcome back to the show. I'm your host, Tiana, and I want to tell you that your words and your thoughts have energy, a lot more energy than you may believe. In fact, the things that you think and the way that you speak to yourself, your internal dialogue, is far more impactful on the outcomes of anything you attempt to do in your day-to-day life than you could ever possibly fathom and understand.

What Beliefs Really Do

SPEAKER_00 1:08

Now, we are going to talk about beliefs on this episode. I am not an expert in theology, so we will not be talking about traditional religions or any sort of faith. I have a huge respect for all forms of belief. I want to share a little bit with you today about the law of attraction. Now, I discovered the law of attraction in 2006. And as I was writing the show notes for this episode today, the things I'm going to share with you, there are a couple of sort of pivotal, important things that occurred in my life, and they all happened in the year 2006. One of them being my first exposure to the book and the film, The Secret. Now, for many of us, this might be our first sort of mainstream exposure to the law of attraction. And on a fundamental level, the law of attraction simply states that if you ask for what you want and you believe that you can receive it, all you have to do is ask, believe that you can receive it, you will receive it eventually. And the only way to consolidate or speed up the gap or the amount of time it takes from the moment when you ask and the moment that you receive is how strongly you believe that you deserve it.

Discovering The Secret In 2006

SPEAKER_00 2:46

And I remember being in my apartment watching clips of the secret on my laptop. I was sitting in my little beanbag chair and trying to understand this whole concept. I then purchased the book on iTunes, and I have the book. I still have it on my phone. And back in 2006, I had an iPod. I did not have an Apple iPhone back then. I had an iPod, and I would listen to the book on repeat. And there are a few chapters that I could probably recite to you because I listen to it so often. Now, why was I doing this? Well, I had been through quite a lot in my personal life. By 2006, I had already been through two very tumultuous, serious relationships. Um, one that was abusive that I got out of, and then another where the person had some issues with addiction. And so I really was struggling at this point in time because I did not understand why it was that I was attracting the same type of behaviors, not the same type of person, but the same type of behaviors and incidents and occurrences in my personal life and in my romantic relationships. And so this is really at the point where I started to examine this from a different lens. Now, I would say the word neutral at this point in time, but that's because we are 20 years ahead and I can look at it and be neutral about it. But I will say, 20 years ago, I certainly was not neutral about it. I was very emotional, uh, always very emotionally charged, and everything I did, I took personally. So I know for a fact that back then, when I was first being exposed to these ideas, I certainly was not neutral. I was beating myself up. I was questioning everything I decided about myself. I was constantly paying playing this sort of ping-pong game in my head about what is the life I want to lead and how am I going to get there? But then also, how do I get there without shaming myself for past occurrences and decisions that I made that maybe I'm not so proud of anymore? You know, how did I blend everything from who I once was to who I am today? And who I am today in 2026 is certainly far different from who I was in 2006. In fact, I can state clearly that I'm a different person today than who I was a month ago. So thinking about these concepts with the law of attraction, if you are putting out a frequency, that's the frequency that you attract back in your life. And in this book, The Secret, which I will say, knowing what I know now, the author of the book and the producer of the film, her name is Rhonda Byrne. She's from Australia. She has made a fortune from bringing this very, very ancient law into the hands of the mainstream world and into society as we know it today. Um, I do give her credit for bringing that message forward, but she's not the creator of the law of attraction, like some people would like to believe. Um, she was able to get this message out to the masses in a really cool way. If you ever watch the film, there is a mixture of storytelling and then different experts, people who are philanthropists, scientists, authors, coaches, mentors, who all have their own practice and business. Uh, one of the most famous people in the film who it's it's done in little segments, almost like a documentary where there's different people speaking throughout the film. And one of them is Bob Proctor. Bob Proctor uh passed away a few years ago, but he has been talking about the law of attraction for decades. And so the producer of the film and the author of the book basically took all of these in different interviews. She sliced and diced it up. And if you're curious about it, I would encourage you to rent the film. You might be able to find free clips of it on different streaming platforms, probably on YouTube. But what it did was for me, it kind of changed everything. I would listen to these chapters of the audiobook, and I then bought the hard copy book. And it's a small book. I could put it in a purse or throw it in my gym bag, and I would read these different passages from it and listen to the book on my iPod when I was out for a walk, or I would hook it up to my car while I was driving. And I couldn't really change my inner belief. So I found myself doing this sort of struggle, this dance, this ping pong with myself, because on an awareness level, I get the concept. If you want to get a parking spot close to the entrance of the movie theater, before you get in the car and leave your house, you could put that energy out into the world. I'm gonna get a parking spot close to the entrance of the movie theater and believe it and never question it. You make your order with the universe, you put it out there into the ethers, and then you drive to the movie theater. And the teaching here is that if you believe so profoundly and so strongly that, yeah, of course you're gonna get a spot, it's it's undeniable. It's it's going to happen. Nine times out of 10, it will happen. Or maybe it'll happen in 15 seconds. Maybe you have to do one loop and then you'll find somebody getting in their car to leave, and they're right by the front entrance of the movie theater. And so, could it be coincidence or could it be the law of attraction? And for me, I found myself constantly doing this ping pong because when I would have a negative thought, I would tell myself, nope, stop. I don't want to think about that. And I would almost gaslight myself into being positive. And this is one of the teachings in the book where, you know, in the beginning, it feels like you're bullshitting yourself a little bit. It feels like you're kind of lying to yourself. And a part of the reason for that is because your current reality, the situation that you're in right now, right this very second, as you are listening to me, is the result and the outcome of things that you have thought about yourself in the past. So there is a delay. It's like ordering something online, and the order has been placed. You know it's been shipped, and now you're waiting for it to arrive. You're not going to keep ordering it because you already placed an order and you know it's coming, but you cannot necessarily accelerate the shipping, the freight, and when it actually arrives at your doorstep. And so that lag is the same thing in everything in your life. Now, that's this is the beliefs, these are the these are the teachings in the secret, okay.

Trauma And The Self-Blame Trap

SPEAKER_00 10:43

Now, unfortunately for me, in the same year that I first get exposed to this brand, The Secret, and to Rhonda Byrne, the author, I had a couple of things occur that were tragic. And one of them was in spring of 2020, sorry, I went to a winter music conference, which is a big festival down in Miami and in South Beach. It's basically a week-long parties during the day, parties at night. And the last weekend, there's Ultra Festival, which is down uh in Miami. And this huge park, it's an outdoor event. And there's multiple parties, there's multiple events. You kind of pick and choose the ones you want to go to, buy the tickets and show up. And it could be a party all day, party all night type of thing. Um, there are people doing a lot of extra curricular activities above and beyond just drinking alcohol. Um, and you know, to each their own, but you kind of got to know what you're getting yourself into. And on this particular trip, this was my first time doing the festival, the week-long parties, and then the festival on the weekend. And I was staying with a couple of acquaintances, but people that I didn't really know all too well. And after a couple of days of us having minimal sleep, I had a disagreement with one of my roommates. And he was playfully, but not really playfully, trying to burn me with a lit cigarette, which now that I think about it, is absolutely disgusting that I would let anyone even smoke in the same room as me. But back then I was a little bit more carefree. And so I left our hotel room. I remember I grabbed my ticket to go to the next event, but I certainly wasn't going with them. I certainly was not going to be with this person who tried to hurt me. And I remember calling a friend of mine, and he is very spiritual. And he had started his journey into working on his inner self, healing his wounds, working through his shadows far before me. And I remember calling him, and I said, you know, I know I can't believe this. I know you're gonna meet me at this festival, but you know, I need to, I need to get out of my room because somebody tried to hurt me. So he's like, All right, come to my room. We'll go to the festival, this day party outside, and when we're done, I'll go with you. You're gonna get your suitcase and all your stuff, and you can stay with me and my friends. And so that's literally what I did. And I remember thinking about the law of attraction back then. Like, did I bring this upon me? Is there something in my beliefs that made me project this energy that I deserved to be treated like shit by my roommate, that I provoked this energy, that I feel like maybe my frequency is actually pretty low and that I don't deserve to be treated better. So you can only imagine if I'm having these thoughts, that I'm starting to question my self-worth. I'm starting to question my self-image. I'm asking myself, well, what the fuck is wrong with me? And why do I feel, even on a subconscious level, that this is the type of behavior that I should allow or that I will allow people around me to act in. Absolutely not. So that was one major incident where I started to think about this new sort of philosophy that I was learning about and exploring, but then in my real life experiences, still in some negative energy. And I didn't know how to change that. Later on in the same year, probably about four months later, uh, I went through something really traumatic. And yet again, I found myself asking the question, is this my fault? Did I provoke this? Did I bring this upon myself? Now, I was actually hurt really badly. Um, and without going into the gory details, it is something that still haunts me and something that I think about every single day of my life because um it was very bad. And I do beg the question, did I provoke this? Did I bring it on? And now I know that some people listening might say, Well, no, of course you didn't. You were being a good person, you got stuck in a shitty situation. And this is kind of the controversial part of where people will say, Well, if you believe in the law of attraction, and then you believe that everything that happens in your life is because of the way you think and because of the energy you emit and because of how you feel about yourself, then that also implies that if something shitty happens in your life, you brought it upon you. Maybe you were having negative thoughts. Maybe the programming from your childhood is pretty dark and scary. And even though you can shut it down and not think about it, maybe on a subconscious level, you need to actually go dive in there and start unpacking this stuff and start thinking about whoa, what's really going on under the surface? Because I can be all pretty and smiles and happy go lucky, but maybe deep down there's some darkness there. Maybe I'm depressed, maybe I'm sad, maybe I'm not happy. And what's interesting is for me, I was trying to improve my life. I was trying to change the way that I talked to myself. I was trying to change the circumstances, places, people, events, things in my 3D reality. But there was still a lot of darkness inside of me, especially in the midst of going through two traumatic experiences within a few months of each other.

Environment And Personal Safety

SPEAKER_00 16:56

Now, I will say that in both instances, they were related to me being out and about and going clubbing and being in an environment where people are doing questionable things. And so it begs the question: maybe it's the environment. Maybe I should not have been there. Maybe I should not have been staying in a room with people I didn't know too well on a four-day weekend. Maybe I should not have put myself in a position where I could be taken advantage of. The second event in 2006, where I offered to drive somebody home and then it was the worst experience of my life. So this is a little controversial because for many of us, we want to believe, you know, no, I didn't bring this upon me. I'm an innocent person, I'm a good person. I do good for the other people around me, and I do well outside in the 3D world. But if you haven't worked through some of the stuff inside, it's gonna keep showing up, it's gonna bubble up, it's gonna appear. And so there was this constant sort of back and forth and ping-pong, which is very exhausting. And I had to ask myself, how do I get through

Changing Self-Talk Without Faking It

SPEAKER_00 18:16

this? So, one of the uh things that I started to do was to really change the words I used, the language in my inner monologue, how I spoke to myself. And I started there. Now, this sounds a little woo-woo and crazy, but it actually made such a huge difference. Because if I wanted outside people to treat me well, well, guess what? That meant I had to treat myself well. If I wanted to hear encouraging words from people outside of myself, that means I had to encourage myself first. You see, there's this interesting space where for many of us, we want permission before we do the thing. We want to see a sign, we want the confirmation first. You book your flight, you get the confirmation number. But that doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna make it to the flight on time and you're gonna get to your destination. So even though you get the confirmation, you still have to show up and you still have to do something. And it's this that's the same thing with the inner work you have to do. If you want to change your life, your circumstances, places and people and events and the things that happen to you, yeah, you're gonna have to put yourself in different environments, in different settings, and around different people and talk to yourself in a way that is encouraging and positive. Now, I'm not saying you have to gaslight yourself. Don't bullshit yourself because there's a very real experience where you're upset about something and then you gaslight yourself and say, Oh, it's not so bad. I don't, I don't agree with that. And the reason why I don't agree with that is because that invalidates your feelings. So you could be upset because you're gonna own it, but maybe you're not gonna let yourself eat Haganda's ice cream and stay bundled up in the blankets and sit on the couch for three consecutive days without getting any fresh air. You can acknowledge your feelings about something and still go outside, be social, experience things. You could be honest with people when they say, How are you? I've been better, but I don't want to talk about it. I mean, that's a really honest answer.

Vulnerability And Speaking Plain Truth

SPEAKER_00 20:40

I was visiting people just last night, lovely couple, they have two beautiful children, and they asked me a question. The wife asked me a question, and I said, you know, this is a really raw topic for me to talk about, but I will share the truth. And I believe that because I prefaced what I was gonna say with that, it first acknowledged how I feel about the situation, and secondly, it it allowed me to just speak honestly about something that I'm not happy about, but I know that it will change. The conversation went on. I mean, we were at this couple's house for hours, and there was another instance where something came up, and I said, I'm gonna tell you the truth. I feel shame about X, Y, and Z. I mean, that's really vulnerable, right? These are people I just met. And I think that because I was vulnerable, because I was able to share my truth and not fucking sugarcoat something or make something out to be better than it is right now, but no, it's gonna get better. But we were able to connect, the wife and I. Because she was like, wow, you're very honest. Yeah, I am. I don't sugarcoat anything. I don't tell the truth because I'm afraid it's going to hurt somebody's feelings. If I speak truth and it hurts someone's feelings, that's their problem. I'm not malicious. I'm not evil. I'm not looking to hurt anyone, but I'm going to speak my truth. Come hella high water. Because that is the least that I can do. When you speak your truth, when you are clear, you are offering kindness. The worst thing in the world that you could do is be passive aggressive with someone and establish these unspoken expectations and then get mad at them because they didn't meet your unspoken expectations that they had no idea you had. Make it make sense. If I'm clear, if I say, hey, I would like X, Y, and Z. I know that might be hard for you. I know this is going to be uncomfortable, but this is what I would like. Can we meet in the middle? Can we find a common ground? Can we both compromise so that we can get there? That's kind. Because it also tells the person where you really stand. Now, this episode is going in a direction I wasn't really planning on because I wanted to bring it back to the thoughts and words that we use within ourselves. And I am talking about externally going from you to someone else. But this is life, and this is how I ramble on these episodes. And this is what happens when I just yap on the cuff. Now, thinking about beliefs.

Resources To Expand Your Mind

SPEAKER_00 23:43

Maybe you're not into the law of attraction. That's fine. But for those of you who are, I'm gonna share with you a couple of resources that could expand your mind, give you something to think about. No pressure. Uh, one of my favorite books is called A Happy Pocket Full of Money. The author is David Gekandi. That's spelled G-I-K-A-N-D-I. It's a soft cover book. It's a great read. It's a resource. It's something that you can read over and over and over and over again. The recommendation is to read it at least three times through from beginning, uh opening cover to cover. But then you could use it as a resource. Flip open a page, get a little inspiration. Put yourself in a good frequency vibe. Another resource that may help you, and this is something that has truly changed my life from time to time, is Abraham Hicks. And Abraham Hicks is an entity. It is not a person, it is an entity. The woman that channels Abraham, her name is Esther Hicks. Now, some people not fond of her, think that maybe some of her teachings are a little scammy. That's fine. Even if it is a little scammy, if you find something positive that can put you in a good frame of mind, I don't see how that's harmful. Now, my favorite place to access some of her teachings is on YouTube. You can just type the name Abraham Hicks. Hundreds, if not thousands, of videos will show up in your feed, and you can choose one that's the length that's suitable for you and just listen to it while you are going about your business.

Practical Tools To Hold The Frequency

SPEAKER_00 25:27

So, how do we take something that's in our heads and make it practical, right? Because we have to think about how are you going to practically use this, right? Knowing what to do and doing it are two different things. And then doing something, but then being able to hold that frequency are also two ends of a spectrum. And then holding the frequency when your inner child, when your inner being, when that person at your core is like, this is bullshit. I actually don't believe this. What do you do? And it can feel like you're gaslighting yourself, as I mentioned earlier. It can feel like you're being fake, it can feel like you're putting on a show or you're performing internally for yourself, which is crazy. But it's not so crazy. Because what happens is who we are on a visceral level that is shaped and formed in the first part of our life. So I can speak to this very clearly with my brother, the one who's closest in age to me. We are less than two years apart. When I was born, I was coddled. Everyone held me. I had cloth diapers. Um, I was breastfed. I was a planned baby. I mean, you know how they say it takes a village. I literally had a village. I was always being held and fed and supported and encouraged and loved. By the time my brother came around, things were very different. Our home life was much more volatile and tumultuous. My parents fought a lot while my mom was pregnant, and of course, even after that. My brother was premature. He was a very sick baby, and he was in and out of the hospital and in and out of the doctors a lot. I think, connected to my mother and father's relationship, my dad did not hold my brother as much. I think things were pretty bad between my parents by the time my brother came around. I think they tried. I don't really see any photos. Unfortunately, I have not seen any photos of the four of us from my childhood, from when my parents were still together. They split up when I was about four years old. And what's crazy to me is to see my brother and I, we are so viscerally different. Meaning the the way that we, as far as like when we were younger, we've we've both evolved and changed, both for the better. But for like our childhood, teen years, young adulthood, we were similar, but also basically two ends of a spectrum, two ends of a pole, two sides of a coin. And I really attribute that back to what happened when we were infants. It's the nurture versus nature thing, that whole conversation. And so, yeah, your inner being is gonna be like, what do you mean you're gonna put out a positive frequency and you're gonna get a free coffee today? What do you mean you're gonna put out a free uh a frequency that's high vibe and you're not gonna hit traffic? You're driving home during rush hour. So it's always gonna be questioning these beliefs, these things that you start telling yourself. Now you gotta ride it out. Now, from an energy perspective, from a thought perspective, this is easy to do on an internal level because you can change your thoughts. You can change how you talk to yourself. And I think that a lot of people believe that they are positive, that they are kind to themselves. But when we get down to it, are you really? Do you try on an outfit and pick yourself apart for five, 10, 15 minutes? Do you look at your reflection everywhere you go and say, ugh, I don't look so good? Or wow, I look good right now. Oh, no, I don't look good right now. Oh, yes, I do. Oh no, I don't. Sound familiar? Maybe you do something and you're proud of yourself and your manager or your boss is like, yeah, that wasn't so great. I thought it was. No, it's not. Yes, it is. No, it's not. So it's this constant ping-pong, right? These are real world examples. But if you stop and you ask yourself, like, what are the things I keep repeating in my head about myself when you're alone, I would write some of those things down. When you go into a workout and you're about to do a working set and you tell yourself, wow, this is really heavy. I don't know. You're already setting yourself up for failure. But if you said, wow, this is heavy, and I'm gonna try my best, and I'm gonna do what I can do, and if I feel like it's unsafe, I will stop. And if it's too heavy, maybe I'll change my approach next time. These are different ways of doing the same thing. Now I want you to then encourage yourself to change the wording. So if you notice a lot of this negative nonsense in your head, you can stop it. You can say, no, I'm not gonna be mean to myself right now. I'm doing the best with what I have right now. And that's enough. Sometimes enough is just enough. And then lastly, you're gonna start to examine your outside world. Look at the people around you, the places, the things. Is it an environment that encourages you to be better, to grow, to expand, to improve your quality of life? Or is it just, well, this is just the way it's always been? And then I would challenge that. Because I do think for most of us, we want to continue to grow and thrive and climb and do better, and to do better than what our parents started with, to do better than what we started with. I think that for most of us, especially if you're listening to this show, you're looking for a change. Title of the show is Unbreakable Mind and Body. So you're here because you want to understand how you can become stronger. It's physical, but it's also very much mental. And it starts with how you talk to yourself, and it starts with the language, literally the specific words that you use when you're thinking, when you're writing, when you're speaking. Words have energy. There's a vibration, there's a charge. You know that that's true. And then changing the patterns. Looking at the outside world and just examining what would you like to be different? What would you like to be different? How can you change that? How can you make it better? How can you improve this? So I hope that you enjoyed this episode. Again, I know it's a little in the woo-woo, but this is how you can apply it to be practical for yourself. Check out the book and the movie The Secret if you're interested in just dipping your toe in the water. It's broken down in a very simple and easy to digest way. You could also check out the book, A Happy Pocket Full of Money, or you can dabble around on YouTube and look for videos from Abraham Hicks. As always, I appreciate your time and attention each and every week. We're building an amazing community, and I'm grateful as always, and I will catch you on the next one.