Perfectionism – when good enough never feels enough

This week, Lucy is joined by Irene Diego Garcia – a Thrive Programme Coach originally from Spain, but now working and living in the UK. Irene explains how her perfectionism affected her for years. A very qualified, hard-working vet, yet she was in a constant state of not feeling good enough, feeling like an imposter and creating daily anxiety and overwhelm.   

Perfectionism is a response to not feeling good enough. Not feeling good about yourself isn’t a nice feeling, so understandably people put their efforts into trying to feel enough – working harder, taking on more, wanting to please others to get them to like you, setting unrealistic expectations and standards for yourself, focussing on the things you don’t do ‘well enough’, playing down your achievements and successes. Not surprisingly, this has a huge effect on a person’s self-esteem.  

Irene and Lucy discuss the intricacies of perfectionist thinking and how it affects people. Most importantly they talk through how you can overcome it: 

1. Educate yourself – gain the understanding into how your mind works, how and why you created the habit of perfectionism. Self-awareness is the first step. 
2. Practice self-acceptance and self-compassion – treat yourself with the same unconditional kindness and acceptance that you would offer to other people. Taming that inner voice and learning to see yourself in a kind and charitable light does wonders for your self-esteem.
3. Stop equating your self-worth to your achievements. Re-define your evaluation of success. You are enough, you are worthy, you are lovable irrelevant of what job you do, how much money you earn, whether your house is clean, what size clothes you wear. Base your self-esteem on who you are on the inside and every day process your experiences and the role you’ve taken in making them happen.

We’re here for you, so if you’d like some help, get in touch and we’ll be with you every step of the way.