Transformed by Dreams: Trusting the Whim, Living the Shift

This episode is a story of listening—deeply, literally—to my dreams. The ones that came at night, unfiltered and wild, and the ones that whispered during the day in flashes of knowing. It's about how I let those dreams guide me into the unknown, even when logic said "stay."

From a well-earned promotion to starting this podcast on a gut feeling, taking a blind trip to Europe, saying yes to love and an engagement I never saw coming, to signing a contract on a home that only made sense in my soul—I’ve been living on a whim and learning to trust the process in every direction.

This is what transformation looks like when you don’t try to control it. When you let go of the how and follow the pull. If you've been getting signs, nudges, or dreams that won’t let you go—this episode is your permission to listen.

Lotus and Luna
Use promo code Fitzen at checkout for 20% off (sale items not included)

Liforme Yoga Mats
Use code FitZen at checkout for a discount!

Favorite Yoga Leggings: prAna Heavana
I highly recommend the ones without pockets- best I have found to date.

RageCreate | Affirmations|Oracles & more
There are over 1 million of our affirmation cards floating around the world. Use Code FITZEN 20% of

The Expansion Room
Mentor cohort with Jennifer Liss

Personal Financial Planning
Money mindsets for conscious living.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey y'all. Welcome back to the Fitzin Project. I'm Rachel Fitzpatrick and it's just me today. And I have so much to say, yet nothing at all. I don't really have a plan today. I um came in to this conversation with you this afternoon or evening on an absolute whim. Uh nothing really planned. And that is so unlike someone who should have a podcast. People should have a plan, right? Like you should know exactly what you're gonna say. And this little script should be written up and some key talking points, and all of these things should uh flow very naturally and normal, and especially if you're gonna be putting your voice out to the world, like you should know exactly what it is that you're gonna say. Well, um, newsflash. I don't ever do that. So I actually uh never work on a script. Um I have once with with this podcast specifically, and in my opinion, it was probably the most the one I didn't like the most. So um I don't I'm not even gonna tell you which one it is. Maybe you can write me an email and let me know which one you think it is, and you listen to them all. But um anyway, yeah, I'm totally unscripted on most things. So today is no different. And in life, it's no different, and you know why? I think it's because I spend all of my working hours that I get paid in a script. Like, I have to write a project plan out for every single thing that I do, and I have to know exactly where we are within that project at all times, and how to status it and report on it, talk about it, know where each moving part is at the same time as another project and another project and whatever's going on. So by the time that's over with, and I start uh being a mom and go pick up my son and do all that stuff and make sure, you know, dinner's made or whatever it is in the afternoon is going on, I'm just gonna like project mind out, which is why I do yoga. Uh, because you can just like be a student. And that's another thing, like the conflict of being a student versus being a teacher versus being a student. So being a teacher is really cool, right? Because you can watch people change and transform. And man, oh man, do they transform? Like they can start my class and be their very first time doing yoga, and they'll always come up and tell me that was my very first time. And you know what? I never know. I genuinely never know if it's somebody's first time or not. I just will teach to what I see and then the energy that I pick up, because again, unscripted, just there to be in the moment. And then there's times where I would just want to be a student, and I just want to be told what to do and when to do it, and give me some cues as how to do it. Anybody uh anybody else feel like that? Like you just want a reprieve of just being told what to do and how and when or whatever. One of my favorite things about going to Europe with my now fiance was that he planned the entire thing. Like our plane tickets, the dates, the places we stayed, and when we get when we got there and stuff, it was well, where do you want to eat? And I'd just look over and be like, this looks like a really cute spot. Can we stop here? Blah blah blah blah blah. And like I'm literally living in the clouds, and he's like, Yeah, yeah, but you know, and he's looking at his time, he's like, Well, we got it like an hour and a half where we got to be at destination number 50 or wherever we were going. But yeah, it was so nice to just like take a whole entire week of uh having somebody else plan it. It was great. 10 out of 10 recommend everybody, but um yeah, so today's conversation is totally unplanned, and I I really like it like that. So everything that's coming up is just coming up naturally, and I will say something that's coming to me like right now is I had a conversation earlier today with a good friend of mine, who I just recently met, who's also gonna be on the podcast. And in a couple of weeks, we're gonna do I'm gonna sit down with her and share her with you guys. And this community is gonna love her. I just know what her name is, Mindy Rosen. So I was talking with her today and I was telling her about um how I got into podcasting and how it was on a whim. It was literally like I really never even thought about doing a podcast until I joined the Kathy Heller world, which uh again, like don't even know that I've even put out an episode without mentioning her name either, because she's just like so amazing. But um, yeah, she's like, yeah, everybody, anybody can do a podcast. I'm like, well, I'm anybody and part of the everybody, so why can't I do one? I've got some stuff I want to say. I've got some transformation ideas, and I would love to talk to people because like that's just my MO, you know, we'd go, you know, spilling the T since 1973, you know, like just doing that. I just want to hear it all and say it all and share and share and share and just like resonate with people, you know, because I feel resonated with when I listen to podcasts, especially uh some of these favorites that I've got. And I feel like it's an important part of a lifestyle where you can go in and you can listen to podcasts that are informational, transformational, um, just kind of fun. And also like sometimes you get into those like murder mystery ones too, right? Like that they're just kind of addicting, you know, just another outlet, another piece of social media outlet, whatever, that people can engage in. And it's for anybody and everybody. So if you've ever wanted to start a podcast, don't be intimidated by it. People all over the world are gonna listen to your voice, and that's just the way it's gonna be. But the people that want to hear you will, because people aren't gonna stay tuned into you if they don't want to hear you. That's just how it goes. So I'm over here, I don't have that many downloads, and I don't, I don't really care, you know. But people will talk about how they've got like 500 downloads or a thousand downloads, and they've been live for like two weeks. I'm like, people must really like hearing your voice. That's amazing. You must have a really good following and a lot of good stuff to say. I'm not so much on that, like I don't that's I haven't gotten there yet. So I'm totally content with exactly where I'm at. But yeah, so I was talking to her, we're talking about just like doing this podcast up on a whim, and it's been a lot of fun. First of all, it's a lot of fun talking into a microphone. I don't know how many of you were little and grabbed your hairbrush or you know, curling iron or spatula and just started singing George Michael with your mom or whatever, but I totally did that, and we had a blast pretending like we were part of a pop culture music scene, and it was so much fun. And there were times where I grabbed the microphone and I'd pretend to be like Sally Jesse Raphael to all my dolls, and I was Oprah to all my dolls, and I was just like going at it with my pretend microphone, and you know those microphones that like had a little echo in them, you know, and they were kind of like a speaker microphone, they were toys. I think they probably still sell them anyway. That's the microphone I had. I was too legit to quit. And I would get in there and I would just sing my little heart out and just also have my own talk show talk show with my dolls, and they really loved it. Um, they were always smiling, always appreciative of everything I had to say. And the interviews were very one way, but you know, we had a good time. So anyway, I guess it's always just been within me to want to speak out and uh use my voice, which leads me into even more of my life of how I was always in cheer or I would speak up and loved speech and debate, and I loved public speaking. And as a matter of fact, I was in a what was this called? They call it young distinguished women, something like that these days. And it totally was not called that when I was in high school. Junior Miss. That's what it was called, junior miss. And you had to have a talent in junior miss to get scholarships and to win. But um, yeah, I my talent was public speaking. I sure did. I went right up there and started my speech with this one time in band camp. And just kidding, I never went to band camp. Quote unquote. That's exactly how I started my speech. My senior year in high school. There was one person that got the joke, and that was Dr. Lair, and I was really appreciative of him because he had a very loud laugh, which made me laugh, and then all of a sudden I blacked out and just continued on with my speech, and apparently it went really well. I did not win anything for my talent, but I felt really talented when I left that stage, so that's all that mattered on that day. Yeah, so what I did win was be your best self, which you know, I've been my best self ever since then. So here we are. Um yeah. So what else was I talking with Mindy about today? It really hit home was transformation. Yeah, transformation and what that even means. So not only starting my podcast this year, it's the year 2025, and I don't know if you're into it, but if you're not, you're gonna know a little bit about it now. But um 2025 is the year for transformation, and it is the year of the snake in Chinese, which is like shedding of the past and a bunch of symbolic transformation. So and that's pretty much what uh snakes uh symbolize is this like new beginning and um shedding of the old, starting over, begin again. And if you've noticed, like that's kind of been a theme in almost every single one of my podcast uh episodes is this like begin again, right? Without even being really called out, uh the words quote unquote begin again. It's just been the theme. And I think that needs to be my next tattoo. I should say begin again. But anyway, transformation not only in like life, and for me starting a new podcast or going to Europe and getting engaged to love my life or anything, it's just like begin again with everything. I got a promotion this year too, like there's just been a very big year, and we're only in the end of June. So it's been uh quite a ride, and what I talked with her most about was my house. And I didn't even expect to even bring this up today because it's such an endearing topic for me. Um but I'm going on a whim and I'm already here, so might as well might as well get the full fact, full story of my house. So let me start with telling you how I even got here. My parents bought this house that I live in when I was four, my son's age, and we moved in, stayed till I was twelve, and the day we moved out, I was really disappointed. You know, for first of all, I'm moving from my house in my itty-bitty town, and I'm moving out to basically a field that is on a promised land that there's gonna be a lake in the front yard soon, which at the time when we moved there there was not a lake, but you know, it was promise that um was kept. It was kept now there is a lake, but anyway, it's not my house, it's my parents' house. And I should have been very happy because we were getting this like brand new home, and it was absolutely gorgeous, and we my parents worked really, really hard and they built it and customized it, and it it seriously is like one of the most gorgeous homes ever, and I'm very, very proud of them for doing that for themselves when they were my age, they did that, so they turned everything around for themselves for nothing but the better, and it is just phenomenal to have gotten to see them in so many different parts of their life, and now being their age that they were when they did that, knowing what that kind of grit and grind took for them to go. But me at 12 had zero clue or compassion to understand what that actually meant and what we as a family were actually going through and what kind of portal and new phase and new beginning was happening. So that took a big toll on me, and then starting into um or being in high school, it was my freshman year, we moved in there, and freshman year already sucked, it was just a lot going on, like it was already pretty painful, so whatever. So we moved, life went on fast forward to four years ago. I had my son, and he was just an itty-bitty baby, and I'm single momman, and I'm living in Louisville, and my mom left me for about three weeks to be with my son and connect and see how life is gonna be and this new beginning that we were in. And I'm I'm like meeting him, and he's meeting me, and I'm like, I don't even know. Do I like this? Is this good? Do I like where I'm at? Do I like the house I'm in, the city I'm in? Is this even a sustainable for me to be a single mom here when I know for a fact I can have so much help and a village if I just like moved? And um I I was haunted by dreams over and over and over for about since about 2018. So from 2018 to 2020, I was haunted by these dreams. Actually 2021. And they were dreams about my house that I grew up in from four to twelve years old. They were dreams about me being an adult, but playing with the three girls down the street and them as children, and we were all like hanging out, but I was living in my house. It was weird, like time hoppy dreams, right? And a little fun fact about me is that I'm um not a certified psychic or anything like that, or any type of dream analysis for other people or anything like that. All I am is what I am and who I am and my own intuitive natures, and most every truth of mine has in one way, shape, or form come from a dream. So, like some weird stuff happens in life. I dreamed about it like two or three days before it happened, and that's just life is weird like that with me and for me. And I used to think it was like to me, and just it really used to scare me and freak me out, but now it's just like I don't know, part of who I am and come to accept it, and here I am. But it's only like dreams about me, like I don't dream for other people, but I just dream about people in my life and me. So anyway, I'm over here having dreams for like five years, and it's all about this house. I'm like, oh man. So after my son was born, the dreams got more intense, more intense, more intense. And I had just bought a house in Louisville for me and my son, and we were gonna have like this really awesome home I was gonna raise him in, and it was beautiful, and it had so much space and so much room for activities, and it was just right in the same neighborhood as one of my best friends and it was just really convenient, perfect, all things. But it was missing something like I was not at whole. I was not complete. So really weird having dreams. And in these dreams I was buying my childhood home. My childhood home was all of a sudden for sale. My childhood home looked and felt like it was mine. And then I would like in the dreams go from selling my house that I had just bought for an X number to buying my childhood home for X number and everything worked out and it worked out to where there was no debt involved and like all of this stuff. And it was just like real easy seamless transactions. And I was just like well this is just weird and but I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to be here. I could not so then I started driving by my house. When I'd come home I'd have my little baby in the back and it wasn't time for car naps drive by here on my way to my parents' house you know and it was after my three week span of being home with him I came back here and I was here for a week as I was working from home and it was time for me to start my job back up. And I started my job back working in my bedroom at my parents' house and I had another dream and it was again me buying the home and it was two guys they were selling me they were living here but then there was this woman and she was in the dream and we sat down in the kitchen and she was selling me the home so next day I woke up and I was like I can't take it anymore. I'm just gonna move back I'm just gonna move to Stanford I'm just gonna sell my house trust the process whatever I surrender the dreams are too intense I can't take it anymore clearly I'm telling myself something or my subconscious is telling me something like I've got to get back here. I don't know why I don't know when or how or any of this is going to go down I've only owned my new home for about nine months and I'm like it's time I've got to I've got to get out of here so I talked to my bestie she was a real estate agent she just got her license and I'm like I'll be your first client she's like deal so she sold my house in like two days and while it was going through all the closing and all this stuff I found a house that I wanted to buy and I was also writing on my um family Facebook group and I said Williamware House in Stanford I know crazy and I um want you to know this is I want it to look just like the house I grew up in where I want to live on Damble Avenue and I don't want to pay more than 200 000 and I'll never forget my grandma she wrote back on my post she was like fat chance she was like uh good luck with that finding anything of that caliber for this and that amount of money uh yeah not in this market and I'm like well thanks for all of your positivity I will still keep my chin up and continue to look so it was within a day or so it seems like it was a day or so um this house on Damble Avenue came up and it was beautiful perfect oh my god I wanted it so bad it was massive it was like 3000 square foot first of all who needs 3000 square foot with just you and a baby I don't know but I was in some kind of postpartum emotional situation going on so I was like yeah that's me I need 3000 square feet so anyway I went over to that man's house put in an offer and he's like yeah I'll take it and then I scheduled my inspection and then as that happened my best friend from high school sends me a Facebook message and it was my childhood home was about to be put on the market she was friends with the owners or saw it in some group I don't even know but it was definitely my childhood home and I looked through the photos of it and um don't know if my heart stopped or what happened but I do know it was an actual event in my body and that kitchen was the same kitchen that I had a conversation with in my dream with that woman who was selling me the house that two men had lived in. And I was like oh my god uh I need to contact her I've got a call I've got to talk to the people that are that own the house and mind you the people that own the house were not two dudes or that woman selling it those people were just in my dream but the kitchen was the same exact kitchen that I had never seen before in real life except in my dream and on those pictures so my mind was busted and I reached out to the owner and I was like so um saw that you're selling your house and I'm really really interested this is going to sound extremely weird but I drive by it all the time I used to live there I'm actually in the process of moving back to Stanford can I come and look at it I do have an inspection on another house scheduled for two days from now but if that falls through I wouldn't love the opportunity to just look at your house and see if it's something that I'm still interested in and perhaps buy so she's like oh my goodness that is the best story I've ever heard yeah come on over tomorrow so I came over looked at it clearly refill in love and everything was just like amazing to see so I ended up telling her you know if the inspection goes bad and I'll let you know but here we go. So we go the next day it's pouring down the rain and the inspection's going on at the other house and when the guy goes down into the bottom of the house it's basically a houseboat like there's a ton of water coming in from the walls literally like a waterfall and I'm like no bueno I cannot do that. So 10 out of 10 all in for my childhood home and boom bada bing here I am so yeah all that got me to here and then I ended up buying my house and ended up redoing the kitchen because y'all if you'd have seen that kitchen in my dreams it was basically like a nightmare and I redid it and now it's beautiful and I am so in love with this house and the transformation coming back to that like on a whim coming back to that I don't know if I moved back here on a whim or if it was heightened emotions from postpartum or if I was just losing my mind because I was having too many dreams. I have no idea it doesn't matter what what matters is it happened got me here and I'm I became I don't know what I became I gave myself a chance that's what I did I gave myself a chance to be everything I needed to be for my son. I'm not saying everybody needs to get up and move when that happens but I am saying that the village was powerful and I've got no regrets whatsoever. I um lost a few friends along the way a few very close connections along the way and that really got even more prevalent when I quit drinking but you know what I don't mind being in the business of myself and I definitely don't mind being available for my son and my family and my hometown it's been an honor it's been a privilege and like how fortunate am I right in in all reality this has been a place of healing for like the past four years and I'm really really grateful for the dreams that an opportunity and the the timing and being right on time for all of it. And that's just exactly how it appeared in life like it was all right on time. Um maybe not have seen it that first year was extremely hard coming in actually the first two years was really really hard but a lot of it was um restlessness and perhaps depression from not being able to socialize the way I envisioned myself socializing. I mean I got pregnant and was living in the coolest part of Louisville and had a social group gathering all the time but when COVID happened and I felt like life would go back to that but when COVID happened life never went back to the same for me as it didn't for many of you like so many people pre-COVID and after COVID. And after COVID my life changed indefinitely for the better and like I said no regrets. So coming in here allowed me a place to slow down and gave me this sense of peace that I don't know that I really ever gave myself I don't know that I ever did but I d I mean obviously I had some peace when I was a child and this house was super sacred and it's a sanctuary for me and it was a sanctuary for me when I was a child like it is a protector and I love the space you know it brings me so much joy and energy and it also grounds me and I've planted several trees here and it has just blossomed everything I've put in the ground has just blossomed and I'm like must be touched you know like for you to grow and nurture and provide nutrients for the things that I'm putting in that is something special on its on its own so I was really um thankful for that and and happy to get to see that I planted a tree for when my son was born the year he was born and the year we moved in here so like I put that in about a week or two after we lived here and then when both my grandmothers died I planted a tree for both of them and those are absolutely beautiful in the front yard. So very very grateful for the opportunity to come back here and transform go through this transformation with the home with my son with my family um I don't know if you listen to the podcast with my mom a lot of that transformation happened during that time with her um for me personally here and even the podcast if you listen to the one with Michelle a lot of our transformation moments was me moving here too so it is it's all for a reason for sure. So now I'm at the m a point or a pivot where I have an opportunity to to leave and to allow myself to begin again to accept this ending for a new beginning and it's exciting and it's sad. It's the bittersweet of bittersweets and um I've got a lot of feelings a lot of emotions about it but all relative and good a whole lot of good a whole lot of ways to create and continue on with everything that I want to do and how I actually vision myself as an adult and in my life it's intentional. So I'm at this point where we um officially have a contract on a new home whether or not that goes through is up to everybody but me at the moment and that's okay and part of this is part of this whim is surrender and letting someone else decide how the rest of the story is going to unfold so as much as I crave that I also despise it because I am like I've mentioned over and over a project manager through and through how I need to know exactly how this is going to go down so I can be secure with my outcome and have zero risk for any type of scope creep or any constraints or anything like that that's gonna knock me off of getting what I want and my outcome. And um this is one of those where I'm just like just kind of like say Jesus take the wheel you know like there's a song about that or you know you just sit back and you're like all right just you just do the best you can and you really say that hoping that they're actually doing the best they can and it's the best of the best for your benefit right so yeah as much as I want that to happen I'm also one thousand percent okay if it doesn't but I'm also like yeah this house is it called me back here to do exactly what I did it called me it knew I was coming it knew what was gonna go down before I even accepted or thought about it in my own right so from 2018 when the dreams first started and until 2021 when I had the last dream I never had another one about moving again until recently and it was to somewhere new so here we are and whether or not this comes in is like I said up to the the God itself so here we are but it's the beginning again and beginning again and over and over and over and over and what's really really cool is I'm going to end up um renting out this house and I'm really excited about that because it's it's an offering for me to give back to the community in a way that it is providing safe and secure housing for people who don't necessarily want to buy or can't afford to buy their own home but want to live in a nice beautiful home. So that makes me feel extremely grateful to be able to provide that to the next people who live here. So it makes me really happy and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this house is gonna pick the most perfect tenants because I already know so there's no need for me to even stress about that. So anyway um as the story unfolds like everything else I'm sure I will keep you updated And posted on that. Um one more thing. I really, really, really, while I'm on the topic of transformation, I'm hosting a yoga retreat October 9th through 12th at the Red River Gorge. And I know I've talked about this on podcasts previous, but I want to get into this a little bit more with you. And I will bring it up again uh before it's before October. But anyway, I know you met Celeste last week, and we're gonna do a part two with her, and you know she is coming to the retreat, but it's more about what is it that you're even gonna gain? And you're gonna gain this transformation, and you're gonna gain the tools and the knowledge that I've learned to make this happen for myself, and I'm gonna show you how to implement this into your life, and you're gonna have these key things that you're gonna walk away with, and it's gonna provide you the transformation that your soul is seeking. So if you're thinking about it, if this is something that it's tugging at you, just go ahead and send me an email and I will let you know um anything that you have any questions on. I'd love to know what it is you're looking for in a retreat and what that looks like for you. And and if it's a good match, let's do this together. Let's let me let's have a good day in October and come on down. So, all right. It is late for me, and I will catch you guys next week. Again, I'm doing an interview with Mindy Rosen next week, and also we'll be having another special guest uh the week after. Her name is Trish Riggle, and she will be on. So I'm excited to hear what both of those women have to say about being in the business of themselves and how their transformation has been nothing but amazing for them. And I'm hopeful that you tune in and you hear them share their powerful stories. So, until next time, friends, have a good night.