Self-Leadership Starts Where Victimhood Ends

Functioning isn’t freedom.

That line? It changed everything for me.

In this raw solo episode, I’m taking you into one of the most personal frameworks that completely shifted how I see self-leadership, energy management, relationships, motherhood, and radical ownership: The Victim Triangle.

And before you tune out thinking, “I’m not a victim…” — stay with me.

Because victimhood doesn’t always look like helplessness.

Sometimes it looks like:
 ✨ high performance
 ✨ over-functioning
 ✨ rescuing everyone around you
 ✨ burnout
 ✨ control issues
 ✨ perfectionism
 ✨ harsh self-talk
 ✨ “if I don’t do it, no one will” energy

In this episode, I’m sharing my real story—from 2018 awareness cracks… to the massive life shift that came with pregnancy, motherhood, leaving an unsafe relationship, rebuilding my life, and finally understanding the patterns that had been quietly running me.

We unpack:

•  What the Victim Triangle actually is 
•  Victim energy (powerlessness) 
•  Rescuer energy (over-responsibility) 
•  Persecutor energy (force, criticism, perfectionism) 
•  Why high achievers get trapped here all the time 
•  How motherhood became my mirror 
•  The difference between functioning and actual freedom 
•  How to shift from victim → creator 
•  rescuer → coach/supporter 
•  persecutor → challenger with compassion 

Journal Questions from this episode:
Where am I giving my power away?
What am I making someo

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Transcript

Rachel Fitzpatrick (00:00.792)
Hey y'all, hey! Welcome back to the FitZen Project. I'm your host, Rachel Fitzpatrick, and I'm so glad you tuned in today because today isn't just about another podcast putting things out in the world. I'm tell you a real story, a personal story about myself and how that's reflected in years past and years to come. So stay tuned.

this, I first want to give a good shout out to the humans of brands that I love that I use every single day. First and foremost RageCreate and let me tell you I love this because they have this little like Rolodex calendar type thing and it's one of my favorite things and today is May 11th, the day after Mother's Day, which is what I'm in love with right now.

But first, this says, I rise from the spark of my ashes. And that is honestly the spark of this entire podcast was today. I was gonna give you a recorded session that I've made with some friends, but today is not that. It is live in action from the first thing that I've been thinking of all day long. anyway, RageCreate, thank you for pumping this up for me today.

And then also Lifeform Yoga Mats is my ride or die yoga mat. I love them. Let me tell you, I am a sweater beyond sweater beyond sweater, okay? That's not cute in any way shape or form, but that is me in every yoga class that I participate in. So what I love about Lifeform Yoga Mats is you don't get that nasty stink that lasts for like six months that you can't get rid of and then turns into a sweat stink on like plastics.

No, they don't do that. They're yoga mats. are made of some, like, I don't even know what kind of rubber, but it holds. You don't slide, you don't move, and it doesn't smell. It's also beautiful, okay? And they give back to the community. They're really great organization. So check it out for both RageCreate and Lifeform yoga mats. Use code VITSIN. Get yourself some money off. And just know that every time you use the codes in the show notes, I do receive

Rachel Fitzpatrick (02:22.282)
some cash flow too, it's like a give take, give take, but honestly, I would do this without it because like, let me tell you, these are the brands and humans I trust and I use. And I'm all right with telling you about it. All right, so let's get into the beef of today. And this one's gonna hit home. This is something I can't unsee anymore, all right? And it's like the victim triangle.

I know you've heard me talk about it in episodes past, especially when I'm talking with some of my guests on here, or when I've been on other people's podcasts, I use this methodology as well, because this is the thing that once I realized that I'm the CEO of my own life, I had to stop outsourcing my power. And this...

Triangle this was the awareness phase that brought me into where I am today And so like if you want to start with day one day zero. This is it Without this I don't know where you go. I don't know how you do it. I don't know how things align for you I really don't because without this awareness I Don't again. I don't know what you're doing. I would love to know as a matter of fact. Why don't you shoot me an email if you don't have

If you've done some of this work and you've never had this awareness put in, I want to know about it. So I'm like, where did you do? And we'll be on the podcast together. Alright? So, let me just tell you something about victimhood. What I used to think victimhood looked like. I thought it was helplessness. I thought it looked like the obvious stuff. Like, you're stuck and woe is me and oh life is happening to you. But...

through the years and empathy. What I've honestly learned firsthand, secondhand, thirdhand, is that victimhood can wear designer shoes. Victimhood can look like Prada in stilettos. Victimhood isn't your, you know, let me look at it like this. All right, so.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (04:48.108)
The boogeyman, for example, doesn't always wear a mask, right? The boogeyman can look like your best friend. You know? I mean, take Ted Bundy for example. He killed a lot of people and he was a handsome man. A trustworthy looking mother... You know what I'm talking about. Victimhood's the same, okay? It's not, it doesn't...

look the same on everybody, it doesn't look the same across the spectrum. It can look very high functioning as a matter of fact. And it can look successful. Yes, it can look productive and even helpful at times. Victimhood can look like all of these things because it doesn't just show up as the victim. I'm gonna repeat that. Victimhood...

does not just show up as the victim. can show up as the rescuer. Like, oh, I've got to come in and I'm going to save the day. Yes. Superman. It can show up as control. know? Like, we've talked about this. We've talked about this in so many episodes past. I've been alive here now for a year plus. I know we've talked about this on

so many of these past podcasts, victimhood can show up as control. It can also show up as burnout. And let me tell you, that, my friends, is not a place you want to be in. It's not a place a corporate wants their employees to be in, if they cared about them, which you know how I feel about that too. But that's what this victimhood is. It's that triangle, right?

If I'm being honest, I lived in this triangle for years. Years. And this is what I want to bring to the table today. Okay? This victimhood mentality is easy to make a reality. Very easy. And until you have awareness about it, it doesn't...

Rachel Fitzpatrick (07:12.524)
get to change, it doesn't just change on its own. As a matter of fact, it's kind of, it runs in a loop, it's insanity. Right? You just repeat the same things over and over over again, accepting or expecting a different outcome. And that's like victimhood in itself. Like that's why it's a triangle, it's why it doesn't have an out. But you make it, right? So what it looked like for me is that,

In 2018, was victim, victim, victim, right? I had a terrible boyfriend. He beat my dog. That happened. That's a whole other podcast and I will talk through that because I've done a whole lot of healing work with that, with my man Deepak Chari, which is also on a podcast here. So if you want to know about his work, just shoot on over to that episode after you listen to this. But anyway, yeah, that was...

where this started, right? But I was in yoga teacher training, finished that, got all this awareness, and then never really changed out of this triangle, just became aware. And it's not like this stuff happens overnight, so I want to give this grace, okay? And this isn't like, again, the woe is me, that was my mentality back then, but today is.

totally different. And it's okay because I also give myself grace from back then as well. But anyway, 2018 I was in yoga teacher training, came into a bunch of new realities and I wish everyone in the world could go through yoga teacher training with 502 Power Yoga and that's a fact. know, like there was just so much that opened and so many walls broken down. I can't even...

begin to explain it all in this one little podcast. That's basically 10 years worth of explanations. But I was in this loop all the time, like, my gosh, I can't find the right guy. Let's go see what this one's about, or let's go see what this one's about. All the while, I was very highly successful in my career. Very successful. Doing all the things.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (09:39.495)
And at the exact same time, I'm doing everything extracurricular as well. I'm socializing with my friends, I'm drinking, and I'm doing all of the things as well. Playing volleyball, playing kickball, going to yoga, doing all things that I can possibly do. Meeting my friends at the bars, taking my dogs with me, trying to date and have a functioning life, also traveling a lot with work. There's just some things that are going on, right?

and then can't seem to settle into a great relationship. All these other pieces of me are leveling up and functioning, but the really, like the reality, the brass tacks of it all was functioning isn't freedom.

Know what I'm saying? I was functioning, sure. And even in 2019, I was functioning, sure. And even through 2020 and doing all of the things then, I was functioning. But it wasn't freedom.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (10:51.542)
And this is where that hit even more, is I was becoming more aware, doing all of the more awareness things like meditation. I did a whole entire month's worth of meditation during the first part of COVID, really wanted a baby with my partner, like we were in it to win it, got pregnant and boom.

This is when the triangle started to shift for me.

This is when I was forced into presence. Because we're in the middle of COVID now, right? There is no social gatherings and going out and meeting your friends at the bars with your dog. There is no traveling for work anymore. There is barely, honestly, work being done because everybody's still trying to navigate like where is the world gonna go and how are we gonna world now?

Like, do we get the vaccine? Do we not? Do we do all this? Do we not? Do we walk around with a mask? Do we not? You know, like, there were so many choices to be made every single damn day. It hurt, right? You're watching your friends die. You're watching your neighbors die. All the while, there's nothing that we can do about it. So this system set me up in a way that it was impossible to ignore my self-abandonment.

anymore and that's just how it was. You know I'm pregnant so I'm immediately gonna be sober. Me as a choice that was my choice. I stopped drinking, stopped smoking pot like that was that was that you know and

Rachel Fitzpatrick (12:44.256)
It occurred to me that this presence was starting to mean a whole lot more than just me caring for a child growing in my body and me trying to be the best possible body for him to grow in. But I had to look around my life and come into this like raw realization that victimhood was no longer a strategy that I

could literally keep on my forefront. Because when, to me, stepping into motherhood and having that complete shift and that paradigm shift, I was forced to slow down, was forced into that presence.

Self abandonment was no longer an option for me.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (13:43.535)
And I had to dig deep into my soul on what do I want this life to look like? Who do I want it to be with? Where do I want it to be? And I started asking all those questions that I ask you almost in every single podcast is like, what am I gonna smell?

Right? Like I got into my senses with this one. What am I going to feel? Who am I surrounded by? What am I wearing? What do I look like? What's my career? Where am I working? Where am I living?

And all of those answers that I had to ask myself in the deep darkest moments of my life when I had to leave my baby's dad.

Donor, relationship partner, call him whatever you want to. I don't care, he's no longer in my life, but I had to make that choice. Because victimhood was no longer an option.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (15:03.032)
there was no longer the option to become the rescuer or the one in control or the burned out one. No. No. I was literally making a life with my baby. And I want to make this very clear. My son, he didn't heal me, but he exposed every place

within me and around me that I needed healing.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (15:42.03)
He exposed it. He became the mirror that I didn't know I needed.

And yeah, Mother's Day was yesterday, but let me tell you, every single day.

has felt like Mother's Day every single day that I'm so, so grateful for.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (16:12.858)
And that was the real shift. Was having that motherhood as a mirror. And that was even before he arrived. That was before he arrived. I had moved houses. I had left the...

The dad. Just for lack of better words. Or maybe lack of harsher words. I don't know. I'm still working on that with Deepak. That's like a forever thing. But anyway, that happened, right? Moved. Still wasn't fully safe.

I still wasn't fully free. I was functioning, yes, but it was like these little layers. I had to move and move and move and peel back and back and back. And I realized very quickly that when I would leave Louisville and go live with my parents, and I would stay there for a few weeks, and then I'd go back to Louisville all while pregnant, and it...

just so happened that the few weeks that I had to stay with my parents were during random ass ice storms or random snow storms where I literally could not make it back to Louisville. It was like the victimhood continued, okay? So it was like in my mind I was like, my gosh, why is this happening? I just wanna go home. I just wanna get out of here. And then every time I would get to my house in Louisville or get home, I would be like, I'm freaked out. I am scared.

I can't do this alone. I can't believe life is doing this to me right now. This is just my life.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (18:05.868)
You see a common theme like that victimhood mentality and moving through. But I would do other things. I got into counseling for the very first time in my life. I got into meditation, deep meditation. Not just like I'm gonna sit still for three minutes. I taught myself how to literally meditate and into like...

floating up and out of my body meditation. Like I taught myself how to do all of that in those quiet moments. To release this triangle, this hold, this choke hold of like needing to control of the burnout of the regulation that I needed to have, the rescuer within me, how I needed to rescue even my unborn child, right? And get out of the situation that was causing us.

both of us, potential, a lot of harm. Let me just put it that way, it was causing us a lot of harm.

So this is where that motherhood began to make the mirror for me. And then when he was born and I moved, I realized how this showed up in my relationships. And I got to work with other mentors and spiritual advisors, and I got to understand this triangle. And it was in 2021, that fall, that this triangle was put in front of me.

and it was like boom.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (19:47.043)
This is familiar. I remember this from yoga teacher training, but I didn't really realize this was me, that I was in it and looping it all the time until just now. Like I didn't realize that I didn't have that freedom. I didn't realize that I was my over-functioning and high-functioning and my...

control and the rescuer and then the burnout on repeat was victimhood. I was no longer really feeling sorry for myself and being like, I can't believe life is happening to me like this. I started believing and really seeing life is happening for me. I really did start feeling that at that moment and especially after I had my son and doing all the things and then like settling into my home and being safe.

But then I would, sometimes I would slip back up and I'm like, oh, I hate it here, I need to go, I've gotta go, this is miserable, I don't know why I chose to do this. Maybe it was pregnancy brain and I tried to blame it off and let it go, blah, blah. I'd slip back up and then I'd realize, oh my gosh, look at me. I had to restart, begin again, over and over and over until I got it. Until I honestly saw.

that I needed that triangle placed in front of me.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (21:24.114)
And it was super simple. And when that was revealed to me, I started making healthier decisions with relationships. Who I was investing my time in. Where I was investing my free time. How was I investing my time? Was I watching TV or was I reading books? Was I on all these dating apps or was I done? was I...

Going out and socializing with friends or was I attending to my home my garden, you know redoing my home making sure it was worthy enough for us to live here and Have a real life for me and my boy right

But like I said, my son, he didn't heal me. He exposed every place I needed healing. And that's the reality of being a parent. That's the reality of motherhood. Is if you can take yourself out of the jar and then read the label, you get it. You can understand.

But while you're in the jar, you will never read the label. You can't do it. You can't do it. And in the jar is the triangle, okay? In the jar is the victim of why is this happening to me? No one helps me. I can't. Life is unfair. I'm stuck. It's that energy leak of powerlessness.

It's that energy leak of you're giving your life away. You're letting other things run you. That's victim. You know? No one helps me. That's victim. You told my secrets. Okay, that's victim.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (23:34.463)
I'm not living an authentic life and you're telling other people that I'm not living an authentic life and now I'm mad at you for telling on me to all these other people. Okay. Victim. What else you got? Right? Like... You know. Come on now. And then you get your rescuer in here who is so sneaky. So sneaky. Again, inside of the jar, right? You're inside the jar. You're now...

You were the victim, now you're the rescuer, but you're still inside the jar. Let me fix it. I'll handle it. They need me. Have you heard these things said to yourself? By yourself? If I don't do it, no one will.

Dude, that is enough alarms for me to have my ears ring from now till next Sunday. Like if I don't do it, no one will. I lived by that as a project manager. I lived by that. And you know what? Even a little bit, it takes a lot for me to realize it, even today. Like I'm not perfect. I still get into this. And that energy leak, that's over responsibility.

Too much. You're over responsible. A lot of times you see your first borns act in this way because they're the responsible ones, right? Or a lot of times you'll see bosses act like this. You know, they'll pick up your work and do your work for you type thing. Because if I don't do it, no one will. Maybe.

But you know what else that also says to the other person? It just says, I don't trust you enough to get it done. So that's another podcast. But anyway, this is where it's at. Like the rescuer, man. Stop it. Don't fix it. Let it fix itself. How about you just put your hands up and you walk away and you go see what else is inside of you that you need to heal? Because

Rachel Fitzpatrick (25:49.731)
For some reason, when you're like, let me fix this, I'll handle it, they need me, if I don't do it, no one else will, if you're repeating those things to yourself, and you're inside the jar now, in the victim triangle, there's a deeper issue with you.

There's some type of childhood wound you gotta heal. That's the mirror, honey. That's the thing that's gotta come back on you. What is it that you feel so responsible for? Or you had so much responsibility for that you just couldn't let it entrust the process?

Rachel Fitzpatrick (26:37.182)
That's like the real, the realest of the realest.

You know, I've been the rescuer, can't even tell you how many times, and I'm not the oldest either. But, for me, it validated me. You know, it made me feel needed. It made me feel wanted. It made me feel worthy.

It made me feel like maybe if I do it enough, I'll be enough.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (27:14.306)
That sucks.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (27:18.456)
That sucks.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (27:22.808)
No, like.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (27:26.68)
But I don't have anything else to say because that one hits really hard for me personally. Being a rescuer and then seeing people I love be rescuers for people that honestly just let them sink or swim. Let them sink or swim, bro. You know, they'll have to figure it out on their own. Let them experience their hardships and you get out of it and you go experience yours on your own.

on your terms.

You do not have to be over responsible for anybody but yourself. Or anything but yourself.

And like that persecutor, there's number three. That's your third point of your triangle, the persecutor. And damn, this one's harsh. I've done it, I do it. It's hard to leave. And this is what it looks like. It looks like blame and criticism, perfectionism, the harsh self-talk. That is my biggest number one-ish.

That's me in a nutshell. In control.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (28:42.658)
You know, like, my dad would always tell me, and this is, I love him so much, I'm the hardest person on myself, right? Like I am, I am the hardest. There's no one else harder on me than me. And that's a fact, Jack. Like I have a whole lot of expectations for myself, I have a whole lot of perfectionism ideas for myself.

And they all fail every single time I try to get perfect with it before I release it into the ether. Like every single time. I would be in these like low level frequencies and especially in 2018, 2019, 2020. And I remember sitting there and trying to just like talk my way through it. Because you know, better than feeling your way, right? But not. But I would always, like I'd been to my dad.

and my mom, but my dad in this specific scenario and his response to me I'll never ever forget was

You bought the world.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (29:59.161)
doesn't need one more person to bring you down. There's already a lot of people that are doing it for you. You don't need to join that bandwagon.

So that's the cure to the harsh self-talk. You don't need one more person on the list rooting against you and against your success. So stop being on the list for yourself. The persecutor, right? And you know what that energy leak is? Force.

It's force. Comes through by looking like control, like blame, criticism, judgment. Ugh, gross, right? Like perfectionism, harsh self-talk. Like, ugh. So when you're looking at the triangle, it literally is just a terrible triangle. It goes from victim, where your energy leak is powerlessness.

to rescuer, where your energy leak is over responsibility, to persecutor, where your energy leak is force.

But the coolest thing about all of this bullshit thing that we do to ourselves is you can break free from it. You can transform from it. You can remove all of that from your life, get out of the jar, and then look at the label from the outside looking in. You can do that. You can shift from the triangle. And how do you do that? You become a creator of consciousness. You understand where you are.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (31:56.719)
in your present moment. You have to get quiet with yourself and real with yourself and stop lying to yourself. You know, you go from the victim, the victim part to the creator part. You go from the rescuer to the coach to the supporter. You're a coach, you're a supporter. You're not playing the game, bro. You are the coach. You're the supporter. You go from the persecutor to the challenger with compassion and you just let it go.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (32:29.696)
You let it come.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (32:34.574)
victim to creator mmm that's what I'm in that's what I'm in when I'm in flow when I'm in my podcast when I'm doing the damn thing like you know like right now like that's what this looks like breaking free from this victimhood three dot mentality and then that rescuer phase you remember that that like over responsibility if I don't

If no one else is going to do it, I might as well. I'll do it. I'll fix it. No. You coach. You support. And you leave it at that. You don't do nothing. You don't do it. You do yourself. You lead through example. You be the change you want to see in others. And I mean that with every ounce of energy I have. You have to

Be the change you want to see in other people. Otherwise, it's never gonna resonate, ever. So you coach, you support, but you always do that from within as well. You start with your insides, your innards first.

and just by doing it with yourself and to yourself, you give so much permission for the rooms you walk into to do it for them as well. And that is how you transform a room, a life, your family.

That's how you quantum leap.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (34:22.872)
That's how you step into motherhood. That's how you step into fatherhood. That's how you step into bold relationships that say I do for forever. That's how you do this journey. You do you boo. You start from the inside. You coach yourself. You support yourself. You create.

And create doesn't mean like I'm gonna go draw on a piece of paper. No, it can be anything. It can be an innovator. You can create new things, technology. You can create ideas for people to do. You can create your own business. You create, you can create your murals behind you. It doesn't mean one way. It's not black and white. It's not.

And then from that persecutor, that harsh self-talk, that perfectionism, the criticism, the grossness of judgment.

You move out of that and you become a challenger with compassion. Compassion.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (35:38.403)
You know what that even looks like? Have you ever even felt that? Compassion? Have you received compassion from other people? I'm sure you have. For example, you piss somebody off so bad that they just want to choke you out. And they didn't. That's compassion! There you go. That's legit.

but also compassion for yourself, for you didn't know any better because you couldn't read the label because you were stuck in the jar.

Yes, that's the deep work I'm doing right now with Deepak That's how I'm even able to tell you about this right now. That's how I'm even able to even be in this literal spotlight, this exact moment.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (36:39.114)
I have so much compassion, for I just didn't know any better.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (36:46.124)
Love and light.

Send love and light their way, for they don't know what they've done, for they don't know how they've made you feel, for they don't know the energy leaks they caused you to have and experience, but you send yourself love and light for you didn't even understand your own energy leaks. You send yourself compassion for you didn't even understand your own operating system.

you send yourself love and light because you didn't know what you didn't know.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (37:29.89)
you didn't know about the triangle and how you lived it.

Love and light.

compassion.

You move out of that victim, rescuer, persecutor loop and you get yourself into creator, coach, challenger with compassion.

and you transform your identity and you walk the walk and you talk the talk and you have those boundaries because you're no longer taken over. You're no longer, I'm gonna do it. If they're not, no one will, I will do it. You have boundaries. You're no longer Mr. Fix It.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (38:20.492)
You have boundaries with yourself. You're no longer harsh talking. Be done.

You have boundaries with your control issues. Let it go.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (38:42.158)
some questions.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (38:46.326)
And feel free to ask this, like make this your journal for the next five days. You know, like where am I giving my power away? You want to know if you're in a victimhood mentality, if you're in this triangle, ask yourself where am I giving my power away? What am I making someone else responsible for?

Rachel Fitzpatrick (39:14.38)
Where am I over-functioning?

Rachel Fitzpatrick (39:20.088)
What would ownership look like here?

Rachel Fitzpatrick (39:25.132)
What does radical responsibility look like to me?

Rachel Fitzpatrick (39:33.048)
Self-leadership starts where victimhood ends.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (39:41.73)
I will say that again. Self leadership starts where victimhood ends.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (39:50.814)
and being in the business of yourself requires radical ownership.

Radical responsibility. Not shame. We are not about that low frequency. No. Not perfection. Because fuck that.

just awareness and choice. We all have free choice. Whether you want to believe it or not, you have free choice.

You need that awareness and you need to be bold in your decisions and stand by them because the second you realize you're in the triangle, you're already halfway out.

that self-awareness is the key.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (40:57.496)
Thank you for being here and for listening to this one. This one is true from my heart, from my soul, and it's why I do what I do. It's why I'm a mom, it's why I'm a podcaster, it's why I'm a project executive, it's why I'm a friend, it's why I'm a daughter, it's why I'm a sister, why I'm an aunt, it's my why.

And I stand in the firm belief that this radical responsibility that we take on our lives and we own is the only thing that sets us free. And it provides real freedom for you and everybody else around you.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (41:54.766)
Hope you have the courage to see it for your own life in yourself.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (42:04.044)
If this resonates with you, please share it. Share it with somebody who you know you give a damn about.

Rachel Fitzpatrick (42:14.248)
And if you'd like to join the email subscription I've got going, send those show notes. Everything's free. All you gotta do is want to show up to the table and listen to the discussion. All right, let's bring this one in. I wanna wrap this up. Bringing the hands to heart center. I'm gonna end this with an om, a beautiful om after an inhale.

Aaaaa

Rachel Fitzpatrick (42:54.286)
The light in me sees and honors the light in each of you. We share this same light, y'all. Namaste.