How to Stop Chasing More: Self-Awareness, Peace, and the Power of Subtraction

What if the thing keeping you stuck… is everything you keep trying to add?

In this powerful conversation, Rachel sits down with author, inventor, Ironman athlete, military veteran, and storyteller Scott Lackey to unpack what it really means to wake up to your life instead of slowly giving pieces of yourself away.

This conversation goes deep into self-awareness, identity, resilience, failure, personal reinvention, and the uncomfortable truth that sometimes peace comes through subtraction—not addition.

Scott shares the story behind his upcoming book Wake Up to Die Again, including the lightning strike moments that changed his life forever—from business success and devastating loss to discovering the difference between ownership vs stewardship, surrender vs control, and external achievement vs internal peace.

Together, Rachel and Scott explore:

✨ Why authenticity is becoming a survival skill
✨ The danger of constantly chasing “the next thing”
✨ How failure teaches what success never can
✨ The question that changed Scott’s life: What are you willing to sacrifice?
✨ Stewardship vs ownership in business, parenting, relationships, and identity
✨ The two voices in your head—and which one wins
✨ How self-awareness requires radical honesty
✨ Why subtraction may be the fastest path to peace
✨ What it means to “wake up to die again” vs waking up fully alive

This is one of those conversations that will likely stop you in your tracks and make you ask yourself harder questions.

And honestly? That’s the point.

If you’ve been feeling stuck, chasing, disconnected, over-performing, or quietly craving something more aligned… this one’s for you.

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Transcript

The FitZen Project Podcast Transcript

Episode: How to Stop Chasing More: Self-Awareness, Peace & the Power of Subtraction

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
All right—welcome back to The FitZen Project. I’ve got Scott Lackey here with me today.

It is Lackey, right? I’ll edit that out. laughs

Scott, welcome, and thank you so much for joining The FitZen Project. I’m really excited to have this conversation with you.

Scott Lackey:
You nailed it.

Scott Lackey:
That feeling is mutual.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
Man… as we know here on The FitZen Project, we’re about so many things.

But one of the biggest themes for me recently has been authenticity—how to become your most authentic self and actually lead from that place.

That’s been a huge lightbulb for me lately, especially navigating different social media platforms and just the noise of the world.

What I really love about what you’re bringing to the table is your new book, Wake Up to Die Again. We’ll definitely get there.

But honestly? After getting to meet you, I just love your take on life.

So for listeners—introduce yourself, and then we’ll dive in.

Scott Lackey:
That sounds great.

And Rachel, thank you so much for letting me come onto your platform. I’ve enjoyed listening to some of your podcasts, and honestly, the freedom you bring to those conversations is refreshing.

And I’d also say—the authenticity is refreshing.

So from my side… yes, like Rachel said, I’m Scott Lackey.

I’ve had what I’d call a very interesting life. Sometimes I joke that I’ve lived like a cat—I’ve had nine lives.

I genuinely feel like I’ve lived multiple full lives through the military, Ironman races, inventions, businesses, startups, failures, writing, newspapers… all of it.

But what’s been most important through every version of that story has been my family.

My wife of 28 years.

My son.

My daughter.

At the end of the day, they matter more than anything.

So that’s my short version—and I’m excited to get into this.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
Oh, I love that.

I could talk about family all day, so you already struck a chord.

And while you were talking, I got this visual—and I never really get these random downloads, so I’ve got to say it.

I pictured the cogs inside a clock.

You know how the gears go deeper and deeper and deeper?

That’s what your life feels like when you describe it.

All these separate moving parts… inventions, military, endurance, writing, business… all working together to create one master timepiece.

One present-moment machine.

Scott Lackey:
I’ve never heard it described that way…

but wow—that’s beautiful.

And honestly? I relate to it immediately.

Because I think that’s true for all of us.

We’re all timepieces.

We’re all operating within a limited amount of time—we just don’t know when it runs out.

And if you think about it, when you dig deeper into that clock, the gears get smaller… but they’re all still serving the same purpose.

Telling time.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
Whew.

You’re such a storyteller—I can already tell.

And I think that’s probably why you connect with people the way you do.

Because all of those “cogs,” as we’re calling them, brought you into this bigger self-awareness.

This bigger understanding of:
“This is who I am.”
“This is how life works.”

Can you talk about that a little?

Scott Lackey:
Sure.

And thank you for saying that.

I’ve been told my whole life that I’m a storyteller—and honestly, I love stories.

Adventure stories.
Stories of failure.
Stories of trial and tribulation.
Stories where things go horribly wrong…

…and then somehow turn out okay.

I think we all love those stories.

That’s what we watch.
That’s what we read.

And this may shock you…

I’m a Hallmark movie fan.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
NO. laughs Me too! Oh my gosh, I’m so cheesy.

Scott Lackey:
Right?!

Every Christmas in our house, we’re all gathered around the TV binging Hallmark movies and excited for the new ones.

But honestly, that says something deeper.

I think we’re all drawn to stories because they reflect us.

And I’ve lived my fair share of challenging ones.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
Okay, my intuition is pulling on something.

I’m feeling a lot of humility from you.

And I feel like the challenges you’ve gone through are what brought that out.

Like those moments shaped how you became the kind of family man you are… the kind of speaker you are… the kind of human you are.

Scott Lackey:
Isn’t it interesting how life has a very special way of humbling us?

And it looks different for everyone.

Well… maybe not everyone.

I’ve definitely met some people who haven’t been humbled yet. laughs

But one of the things I talk about in the book is what I call lightning strikes.

That’s my metaphor for those moments in life that change us instantly.

Some are beautiful.

Some are devastating.

But in either case, the second they happen—you are no longer the same person you were milliseconds before.

You can’t go back.

A lightning strike could be realizing you love someone.

That moment changes you.

Or…

it could be sitting in a boardroom on a call with a $3 million investment on the line and hearing:

“Scott, you’re terminated.”

That changes you too.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
Yep.

That’s a lightning strike.

Scott Lackey:
Exactly.

But what I’ve found is that those moments—rather than making me angry or bitter toward the world—actually created humility.

They forced self-discovery.

There’s a quote—I’m paraphrasing—but essentially:

“I went out to change the world, then became wise enough to realize I needed to change myself.”

That’s been my focus for the last 10+ years.

Not changing the world.

Changing myself.

And what I discovered is something interesting:

The gifts I was chasing?

They came to me when I focused inward.

And the people around me—my wife, my children, my friends, neighbors, colleagues—they benefited from that inner work too.

So it became less about changing the outside world…

and more about changing the inside first.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
I literally have cold chills.

Because what this brings up for me is my grandmother’s funeral.

One of her favorite songs was:

“Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.”

And honestly?

That feels like the entire message of change.

You don’t change the world from the outside in.

It’s always inside out.

And even this morning, I was listening to something on Insight Timer—my meditation app—and it said:

Take care of the world not because it was given to you as an inheritance… but because you’re borrowing it from your children and grandchildren.

And I wanted so badly to say that in my yoga class this morning, but it just didn’t come out.

And now here we are, and it came back.

Scott Lackey:
That’s incredibly powerful.

And it actually connects to a financial story in my life…

Scott Lackey:
That actually ties into a financial story in my life.

I’ll give listeners the shorter version—but my second invention was something called a childhood health passport.

That idea quickly evolved through collaboration into an adult health passport… then one for pets… finances… and more.

The business gained traction.

It worked well enough to attract investors.

And my wife and I had everything invested in it.

Not figuratively.

Literally everything.

Our money.
 Our energy.
 Our time.
 Our family was involved.

Eventually, a private equity firm funded the business for $3 million.

And I’ll never forget that moment.

We had just wrapped the conference call. The agreements had been signed, faxed back and forth—this was back when that was still a thing.

I called the bank.

And I said, “Hey, this is Scott. Can you tell me the balance on my business account?”

And when she gave me that number…

man.

It felt like heaven’s gates opened.

I had made it.

The American dream.
 The business lottery.
 The made-it moment.

But attached to that?

Was arrogance.

Because suddenly, it wasn’t just “I succeeded.”

It became:

“I’m all that.”

I had boats in my head.

Big visions.

Big ego.

Fast forward six months.

The private equity firm wanted us to take the business in a different direction.

They said:
 “Turn right.”

Our management team said:
 “No—we’re going straight. This is our vision.”

And that was the moment I learned the difference between power and control.

We had power.

They had control.

And they fired us on the spot.

Terminated.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
Whew.

Scott Lackey:
Yeah.

And after that?

Things got ugly.

A lot of anger.
 A lot of blame.
 A lot of “Why me?”
 A lot of frustration.

But a couple years later…

something shifted.

And it came through a realization I’ve never forgotten:

I had confused ownership with stewardship.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
Whoa.

Scott Lackey:
Yep.

That realization changed everything.

Because I understood that I had misunderstood the entire process.

I believed I owned this thing.

But what if I had actually just been entrusted to steward it?

That’s a radically different relationship.

Ownership says:
 “This is mine.”

Stewardship says:
 “I’ve been trusted with this.”

Ownership grasps.

Stewardship respects.

Ownership controls.

Stewardship serves.

And once that landed…

I had peace.

Because when you stop believing you own everything…

you stop acting like everything being lost is theft.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
Okay… part of my brain just went poof.

Because I’ve heard stewardship before.

As a nurse—even though I was in nursing school for approximately five minutes laughs—there’s language around stewardship.

But this…

this hits differently.

Because one of the biggest lessons motherhood taught me was exactly this.

You are a steward over your child.

You do not own your child.

They are not yours in that sense.

They are their own human.

Their own soul.

Their own becoming.

And my mom used to say when I was born:

“I was just thankful I was entrusted with you.”

And now hearing you say this…

I’m realizing that applies to literally everything.

Relationships.
 Work.
 Business.
 Life.

So when that realization happened for you…

what actually changed?

Scott Lackey:
Not immediately, honestly.

Because for about two years after everything fell apart, I was still stuck in the anger.

The resentment.

The confusion.

The “what did I do wrong?”

The endless replay.

And let’s be honest—we all know that place.

We all have our own lightning strikes.

But where I think I maybe differ from some people is I’ve always had this deep need to reconcile things.

To get them back to neutral.

To understand.

To make sense of it.

And in that process?

I did what most people do.

I went looking for answers from the world.

And the world gave me answers.

Add this.
 Read that.
 Become this.
 Dress like that.
 Buy this.
 Attend that.
 Join this program.
 Become that version of yourself.

And every time I thought:

“Okay. I’ve arrived.”

The answer became:

“Nope. Little further.”

Another hill.

Another destination.

Another shiny thing.

And eventually, I realized…

it was all leaving me emptier.

Not fuller.

That’s when the deeper understanding came.

If ownership is addition…

stewardship is subtraction.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
Say that again.

Scott Lackey:
If ownership is addition…

stewardship is subtraction.

Because the question becomes:

What do I need to stop doing?

Not:
 What else do I need to add?

And that changed my behavior.

It became less about accumulation…

and more about removing what wasn’t aligned.

That’s when life started physically shifting.

Because the realization itself is internal.

But behavior?

Behavior is where transformation actually happens.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
YES.

Scott Lackey:
And there’s something I say that always makes people pause:

I don’t need to go anywhere to experience peace and joy.

I don’t need a vacation.

I don’t need a possession.

I don’t need a trip.

I don’t need an achievement.

I can experience peace and joy exactly where I’m standing.

Now—to be clear—I love vacations.

I love experiences.

I’m not anti-any of that.

But I don’t need them.

That distinction changed my life.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
That hits me in my bones.

Because I’ve lived the chasing.

And honestly?

Recently.

Last year I was in a mentorship that really helped me personally in some beautiful ways.

But toward the end…

I realized I was still chasing something I couldn’t even define.

And that’s the wild part.

I didn’t even know what I was chasing.

I just knew I wasn’t fulfilled.

So I quit—with like two months left.

And then what did I do?

Immediately started chasing other things.

Another seminar.
 Another book.
 Another thing to fix me.

And literally three months ago…

I just stopped.

Stopped doing more.

And somehow?

Everything started coming to me.

Scott Lackey:
That’s affirmation.

That’s exactly what we’re talking about.

Scott Lackey:
That reminds me of something you shared recently.

I hope I don’t butcher this—but I remember you talking about being in a room with other women and having this almost out-of-body experience where you were observing everyone around you.

And in each personality… you recognized some version of yourself.

That really stuck with me.

Because I relate to that deeply.

There are moments where I’ll see someone behaving in a way I instinctively disapprove of.

And then something stops me.

Because I realize:

Wait… that was me once.

Maybe not in the exact same form—but some version of that behavior?

That was me.

And then the internal question becomes:

What were you going through when you acted that way?

What pain were you carrying?

And suddenly judgment turns into compassion.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
YES.

That was my “mirror moments” conversation.

And exactly that.

Because when you pause long enough to recognize yourself in someone else, you start asking different questions.

Instead of:
 “What’s wrong with them?”

You start asking:
 “What happened to them?”

Or:
 “When was I this version of myself?”

And honestly, it creates compassion.

It makes me feel like:
 “I see you.”

Because I think so many people walk around feeling like they’re the only one going through what they’re going through.

And they’re not.

We’re all connected in those experiences somehow.

Maybe my gear is turning over here right now and yours is turning over there—but at some point?

We’ve probably shared some overlap.

Scott Lackey:
Absolutely.

That’s the human journey.

Our paths cross.

Sometimes they even run alongside each other for a while.

But eventually?

We may have different destinations.

And that’s okay.

That’s why you can grow up inseparable from someone… and years later realize your lives look completely different.

Different journeys.
 Different assignments.
 Different paths.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
Does your book touch on that?

Because I haven’t gotten to read it yet—it comes out in like a week, right?

Scott Lackey:
Less than a week now.

And yes.

Honestly? Every single thing we’re talking about is explored deeply in the book.

The book has 24 chapters.

And I’m not exaggerating when I say every single chapter could be its own podcast.

Truly.

And I say that humbly.

A lot of books are built around one major event.

A tragedy.
 A health diagnosis.
 A single defining story.

And those books can be incredibly powerful.

But this one?

This is different.

That $3 million business collapse I told you about?

That’s shallow water.

That’s early in the book.

The second half gets much deeper.

Which is why the title Wake Up to Die Again is intentionally provocative.

It carries both darkness and hope.

And the feedback from beta readers has been incredible.

Multiple people have told me:

“Whatever you do—do not change chapter 24.”

So yes… everything we’re talking about lives in there.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
I LOVE that.

I genuinely can’t wait to read it.

But I know you talk about two types of people.

Can we go there without giving away too much?

Scott Lackey:
Yes.

There are really two broad categories of people.

Now obviously life is nuanced—but for the sake of clarity:

There are people who literally wake up every day to die again.

Meaning…

They slowly give pieces of themselves away.

Day after day.

Choice after choice.

Compromise after compromise.

And sometimes it happens so gradually they don’t even realize it.

Until one day they wake up feeling numb.

Empty.

Disconnected.

Full of regret.

Wondering where they went.

And what’s heartbreaking is…

from the outside?

They often look fine.

Successful, even.

But internally?

Something’s dying.

And I know that because I’ve lived it.

That feeling was actually part of what pushed me toward doing an Ironman.

That realization that I had slowly gone numb.

That life had become louder and louder until I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

But the other type of person?

They wake up understanding that dying is part of living.

That surrender is part of becoming.

That letting go is part of peace.

That each day is a gift.

When I wake up in the morning, I get to breathe.

I get to tell my wife I love her.

I get to spend time with my children.

I get to challenge my body.

I get to live.

That’s an entirely different way of waking up.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
Wow.

Scott Lackey:
And the book meets people wherever they are between those two realities.

That’s actually something I learned from my readers.

I didn’t say that—they did.

What they told me was:

“Your facts may be different than mine… but emotionally? I was right there with you.”

And that means everything to me.

Because this isn’t theory.

This is lived experience.

I’m not telling someone else’s story.

I’m telling mine.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
That’s incredibly powerful.

And honestly? I already know if I read this, I’m going to want to read it with other people.

Because these conversations deserve processing.

And I think if I’m reading this correctly…

being human almost requires the lightning strikes.

Like… maybe that’s part of the deal.

The jolts.
 The failures.
 The identity breakdowns.
 The things that wake us up.

Because otherwise we keep resisting the very thing we’re here to become.

And when you stop resisting?

You exhale.

Scott Lackey:
That is beautifully said.

It’s like this:

Success taught me nothing.

Failure taught me everything I needed to live successfully.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
YES.

Exactly.

I mean… I was in nursing school for approximately five minutes laughs

Major fail.

But truly? I’ve had lightning strikes early—and they still keep coming.

And honestly?

I don’t think that process ever ends.

Scott Lackey:
It doesn’t.

But what changes is how you respond.

That’s the real shift.

One of the things I say repeatedly—and my kids are probably sick of hearing it—is this:

It is never, ever, ever about the event.

Ever.

It is always about your response.

Always.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
Oof. YES.

That lands hard for me because I actually posted something recently on LinkedIn about this exact concept—but through the lens of project management.

By day, I’m a project manager so we can eat. laughs

And one thing I know for sure?

Projects are never linear.

I don’t care how perfect the plan is.
 How polished the timeline is.
 How refined the assumptions are.

Something is going to happen.

Always.

Some lightning bolt.

Some unexpected variable.

Some “well… didn’t see THAT coming.”

And someone commented on my post in a way that really made me pause.

He basically said:

“The surprise isn’t the problem. The surprise is the data.”

And I just sat with that.

Because YES.

That’s it.

The event itself isn’t the issue.

It’s information.

It’s what you do with it that matters.

And he asked me what my latest “lightning bolt” moment had been, and I just thought:

Wow.

A complete stranger wants to know how I handled challenge.

That was actually really cool.

But it made me realize how much of life is exactly this.

Pause.
 Gather the data.
 Respond.

Not react.

Scott Lackey:
Exactly.

Not your problem.

Your source material.

And honestly, so much of what we’ve been talking about is reframing.

Looking at the same thing differently.

Which sounds simple.

But the world makes it incredibly hard.

Because right now we live in a culture obsessed with easy answers.

Go on Instagram.

Go on YouTube.

Everybody has the “one secret.”

One trick.
 One formula.
 One hack.
 One shortcut.

And if you just do this one thing, everything changes.

And because we’re human…

we get sucked in.

Because we want easy.

We want fast.

We want shiny.

I always say we’re attracted to shiny things.

And man…

have I chased some shiny things.

And every time I finally catch one?

I get close enough to realize:

This is a dirty rag.

Not treasure.

Not transformation.

Just another illusion.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
YES.

That is such a visual.

Scott Lackey:
And underneath all of that is the deeper issue:

Your thoughts matter.

What’s happening in your mind matters.

Because every single one of us has two voices.

One that builds us.

One that tears us apart.

One that speaks possibility.

One that speaks fear.

One that says:
 “You can.”

And another that says:
 “Who do you think you are?”

And only one of them wins.

Because eventually you choose which one gets the microphone.

And if you keep choosing the voice that tears you down?

You’ll wake up to die again.

Every single day.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
You just put a whole new spin on the tale of two wolves.

Like… wow.

That’s so good.

And honestly?

I cannot WAIT for this book.

But I want to pivot for a second because I’ve got a question I ask every guest—and this one feels especially relevant for you.

At The FitZen Project, one of the things I talk about all the time is being in the business of yourself.

So…

what does that mean to you?

Scott Lackey:
That’s such a great question.

And honestly, the answer is tied to one question that has absolutely haunted me—in the best way—for years.

A question I ask myself constantly.

A question I honestly hate answering sometimes.

Because the business of being Scott Lackey comes down to this:

What are you willing to sacrifice?

Scott Lackey:
That’s such a great question.

And honestly, the answer comes back to one question that’s been following me for years.

A question I ask myself constantly.

A question I sometimes hate because if I answer it honestly… I have to do something with the answer.

And that question is:

What are you willing to sacrifice?

That’s what being in the business of myself means.

And I’ll give you a concrete example.

When I started training for my Ironman, that question showed up constantly.

I’m talking hundreds of times.

It was in my dreams.
 It was in my thoughts.
 It was everywhere.

“What are you willing to sacrifice?”

And initially, I answered the obvious things.

TV.
 Bad food.
 Comfort.
 Sleep.
 Free time.

And every time it felt like the question came back:

Insufficient.

That’s not what I’m asking.

And then one day I was on a long run.

No music.
 Just me.
 Tired.
 Deep in my own head.

And it hit me.

The answer the question was looking for…

was me.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
Whew.

Scott Lackey:
The real question was:

Are you willing to sacrifice yourself?

And I know that sounds dramatic—but I mean surrender.

Not destruction.

Surrender.

Because it wasn’t really about giving up TV.

That’s surface-level.

The deeper question was:

Are you willing to become someone different?

Are you willing to wake up at 4 AM when it’s raining?

Are you willing to keep going when you crash your bike and end up with stitches?

Are you willing to choose discipline when comfort is begging louder?

Are you willing to disappoint convenience?

Are you willing to prioritize what matters over what feels easy?

That’s sacrifice.

That’s surrender.

That’s self-leadership.

And here’s the hard truth:

When you answer honestly…

you have to choose.

And if you know the truth and still avoid it?

That’s your responsibility.

Not the world’s.

Not your family’s.

Not your circumstances’.

Yours.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
YES.

Scott Lackey:
Because we already know.

That’s what’s wild.

Most of us already know what needs to change.

We already know the truth.

The issue isn’t awareness.

The issue is willingness.

And my day-to-day life now?

It’s not glamorous.

It’s me asking:

What’s true?

What’s actually true here?

And then choosing whether I’m willing to act on it.

Even when I hate the answer.

Even when it’s ugly.

Even when it exposes me.

And let me be clear—I’m not saying perfection.

Not even close.

I extend grace to myself.

That’s important.

Grace and honesty are not opposites.

But mercy that enables avoidance?

That’s different.

That’s not growth.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
That’s SO good.

Because this doesn’t just answer my question in some surface-level “wake up and crush the day” kind of way.

This is existential.

This is identity-level.

Because the second you ask that question honestly…

you create a conscious decision point.

And conscious decisions create ownership.

Or responsibility.

Or both.

And what’s interesting is… you wrote this book with that same level of intentional vulnerability.

That’s also a sacrifice.

Especially being a corporate guy.

That’s a decision.

Scott Lackey:
100%.

And let me tell you something.

Before I ever wrote a single word of this book…

guess what question showed up?

What are you willing to sacrifice?

And I knew immediately:

If I’m going to write something people actually care about…

I have to sacrifice myself again.

And by that, I mean:

I have to be honest.

I have to be transparent.

I have to tell the truth.

Even the uncomfortable parts.

Even the moments where I was on the floor emotionally wrecked.

Because if I leave those out?

Then I didn’t answer honestly.

Then I just wrote another polished book pretending to save the world.

And honestly?

We have enough of those.

Enough “7 steps to greatness” books.

Enough curated wisdom with no blood in it.

That’s not what I wanted to create.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
YES.

Kick the can down the road energy.

Scott Lackey:
Exactly.

And one of my beta readers—a guy I hadn’t spoken to in 12 years—texted me after reading the first six chapters.

I’ll never forget it.

He said:

“Scott, I owe you an apology.”

And I thought:
 Uh oh.

What’s coming?

But what he actually said was:

“I haven’t talked to you in years, but I’m six chapters in. I’ve laughed. I’ve cried. And I had to put the book down because I need to think.”

That meant everything.

Because what he was really saying was:

I saw myself in this.

That’s the goal.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
That lands so deeply.

Because honestly? That’s something I’ve wrestled with myself.

I’m relatively young in corporate America.

And I’m also out here putting a podcast into the world built on authenticity.

That’s vulnerable.

Because a lot of corporate spaces—especially legacy ones—aren’t exactly built for that kind of openness.

There are a lot of environments where the expectation is polish.

Professionalism.

Performance.

Not emotional honesty.

Not full humanity.

So there’s definitely been this internal tension of:

Am I really allowed to do this?

Scott Lackey:
Absolutely.

And honestly? I’m walking straight into that same reality.

Because when this book goes live, there will be people who know me—professionally, personally, socially—who will read it.

And it will completely destroy the image they’ve built of me.

And thank God.

Because if all I ever did was show the world the highlight reel…

“Look what I accomplished.”
 “Look what I built.”
 “Look what I survived.”
 “Look at my credentials.”

Then what exactly am I offering?

An illusion?

A performance?

A pedestal?

No thanks.

Fire that version of me.

Seriously.

Because I am so deeply tired of people being placed on pedestals with no humanity attached.

What I want—what I think people actually crave—is truth.

Tell me where it hurt.

Tell me where you broke.

Tell me how you got through it.

Not so I can copy your life.

But so I can understand my own.

Because your journey is not my journey.

And mine isn’t yours.

But honesty?

Honesty creates connection.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
YES.

That’s exactly it.

Scott Lackey:
And I genuinely believe the world is screaming for authenticity.

Screaming.

We are drowning in curated perfection.

Cotton candy inspiration.

Highlight reels.

Performance.

And people are starving for truth.

That’s why I made myself a promise with this book:

I would be authentic.

Even if only one person read it.

Even if people judged it.

Even if it made people uncomfortable.

Because if my family was okay with it—and I could stand behind it honestly—that was enough.

But I actually believe it’ll do more than that.

Because I think people will see themselves in it.

And if someone judges me for telling the truth?

That says more about their work than mine.

Respectfully.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
WHEW.

That right there.

That’s why I love conversations like this.

This is exactly why I started this podcast.

And honestly? My very first episode was in this same lane.

I was terrified.

Because I knew putting myself out there authentically meant giving people access to the real me—not the curated version.

And that’s scary.

But this is my way of doing it.

And honestly, one of my favorite professional moments ever came from a boss whose interview question wasn’t:

“Tell me your greatest accomplishment.”

It was:

“Tell me about your failures.”

And I loved that.

Because I talked about nursing school.

Which, at the time, felt like one of my biggest failures.

And my perspective was:

That’s exactly why I’d be great here.

Because I know what it feels like to fall apart and rebuild.

Scott Lackey:
Exactly.

And honestly? Now I’m going to have to go listen to your first episode.

Because that’s what people connect with.

And think about this:

You and I met virtually.

We were strangers.

And here we are having a deeply honest conversation about life.

That’s what the world needs more of.

With neighbors.
 With friends.
 With colleagues.
 With family.

Just… be who you are.

Because if you actually show people who you are?

That’s who they connect with.

Not the performance.

And sure—we may disagree.

That’s okay.

Disagreement doesn’t break connection.

Inauthenticity does.

My son said something the other day that really stuck with me.

He said:

“Dad, everybody’s talking to everybody.”

And I said:

“They are—but nobody’s listening.”

Because what we have right now isn’t conversation.

It’s noise.

People screaming at each other.

That’s not connection.

That’s not healing.

That’s not growth.

Conversation is.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
SO true.

Okay—I’ve got one more official question for you.

Actually… two.

And one of them is something my previous guest left behind.

But first:

What’s your definition of self-awareness?

Because we’ve touched it all throughout this conversation—but I want the direct version.

Scott Lackey:
That’s a direct question.

And honestly? I’ve answered it throughout this conversation—but in longer form.

So here’s the most direct version I can give:

Self-awareness is the ability to look at yourself—truly look at yourself—and tell yourself the truth.

And I mean the real truth.

Not the curated version.
 Not the story you tell others.
 Not the softened version that protects your ego.

The truth.

About who you are.
 What you’ve done.
 What patterns you repeat.
 What’s beautiful.
 What’s ugly.
 What’s unresolved.

All of it.

Because if you can’t acknowledge what’s true…

you’re not self-aware.

And honestly?

I’d take that one step further.

I think sometimes that means literally looking yourself in the mirror.

Physically.

And speaking truth out loud.

Because thinking something quietly isn’t always enough.

Truth has weight when it’s spoken.

That’s why I journal.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
Same.

Scott Lackey:
Exactly.

Because journaling forces honesty.

It’s a written record of what’s real.

And yeah… we all joke:

“I hope nobody finds my journal when I die.” laughs

But honestly?

I don’t care anymore.

Because if self-awareness creates humility, then hiding from the truth only protects illusion.

And I don’t want illusion.

I don’t want to be “all that.”

I just want to be me.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
I love that.

Okay—last question.

Every guest leaves one question behind for the next guest.

So yours:

What question do you want to leave?

Scott Lackey:
Mine is deceptively simple.

Easy to ask.

Much harder to answer.

Because I’ve been sitting with this for years.

And it comes back to subtraction.

Here’s the question:

What’s something in your life you could subtract that would immediately create more peace?

Because let’s be honest.

We all have too much noise.

That’s just true.

Too much input.
 Too much distraction.
 Too much clutter.
 Too much performance.

So if that’s true…

what’s one thing you already know needs to go?

Because I believe answering that honestly becomes the breadcrumb to the next layer of truth.

Subtraction is a beautiful practice.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
That is SUCH a hard reality.

Because I can absolutely answer that question in my head.

But if I say it out loud?

Now I have to do something about it.

Scott Lackey:
Exactly.

Because we already know.

That’s what I’m saying.

Back to self-awareness.

You can be fully aware.

You can know exactly what’s true.

And still choose inaction.

But that’s still a choice.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
YES.

Inaction is still a decision.

It’s still choosing.

It’s just choosing to kick the can further down the road.

Scott Lackey:
Exactly.

And that brings us full circle.

Because that’s what it means to wake up to die again.

Slowly giving away pieces of yourself.

Avoiding the hard truth.

Avoiding surrender.

Avoiding the subtraction.

Until one day you wake up feeling empty and wondering where you went.

Or…

you choose differently.

You make the hard decisions.

You surrender what needs surrendered.

You sacrifice what needs sacrificed.

And on the other side?

There’s peace.

That’s the journey this book explores.

And honestly—it’s a fun journey too.

There’s laughter.
 Pain.
 Gut punches.
 Reflection.

But it’s real.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
I love that.

And I genuinely cannot wait to read it.

Thank you—not just for being here—but for bringing this conversation to The FitZen Project.

I feel incredibly honored.

Because like we said…

the world needs more conversations like this.

Authenticity isn’t optional if we actually want connection.

Scott Lackey:
I completely agree.

And Rachel—thank you.

Seriously.

Thank you for creating a platform where these conversations can happen.

Because what we’re talking about—we’re embodying it.

We’re not just preaching it.

And I really believe that after you read the book…

we’ll need a round two.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
Oh, 100%.

You are officially on the list.

Because the second I read this, I already know I’m going to want to unpack the second half.

Scott Lackey:
Well, I’ll leave you with one teaser.

Chapter one is titled:

You’re Not Where You’re Supposed to Be.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
Whew.

That tracks. laughs

Scott Lackey:
Rachel, thank you so much.

And to everyone listening—thank you for letting me share part of my story.

I truly hope something from this conversation encourages you to reflect, to grow, and maybe even pick up the book.

And if it impacts you?

I’d love to hear about it.

Rachel Fitzpatrick:
Absolutely.

And listeners—you can find Scott’s information, the book, and all the ways to connect in the show notes.

Thank you so much for being here.