Laughs without Lager

Alcohol related Red Flags

• Ali and Meg

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Ever wonder if those nagging concerns about your drinking might actually be important warning signs? Join Ali and Megsy as they candidly unpack the red flags they ignored on their paths to alcohol dependence—and eventual sobriety.

With unflinching honesty, they explore how society's narrow definition of "alcoholism" allowed them to dismiss serious warning signs simply because they were "high-functioning." From bringing backup booze to every social event to eagerly awaiting their children's driver's licenses (so they could drink without driving), these seemingly small behaviors revealed deeper truths they weren't ready to face.

Through personal stories filled with both humour and vulnerability, they recount the physical symptoms, relational challenges, and internal doubts that persistently surfaced despite their best efforts to ignore them. Particularly powerful is their discussion of that persistent inner voice—the gut feeling that something wasn't right—which they both tried desperately to silence with more drinking.

Beyond simply identifying red flags, Ali and Meg offer hope by sharing how life has transformed for them now. They discuss finding authentic joy, making better decisions, discovering new passions, and building more meaningful connections. Their conversation serves as both a wake-up call and a reassurance that questioning your relationship with alcohol doesn't require labeling yourself, but rather listening to that inner wisdom that's trying to guide you toward a better life.

Whether you're sober curious or simply interested in understanding problematic drinking patterns, this episode provides valuable insight into recognising warning signs before they lead to more serious consequences. Most importantly, it reminds listeners that sobriety isn't about what you're giving up, but rather what you gain—a second chance at living authentically.

Contact Us:

https://www.meganwebb.com.au/podcast-1


Ali

insta: https://www.instagram.com/idontdrinkfullstop/


Meg

website: https://www.meganwebb.com.au/

insta: https://www.instagram.com/meganwebbcoaching/

bookclub: https://www.alcoholfreedom.com.au/unwinedbookclub

Connect AF: https://www.elizaparkinson.com/groupcoaching

Speaker 1:

Hey, hey, Ali, how you going?

Speaker 2:

Megzy. Very well, thank you.

Speaker 1:

Awesome, it's good to see you or hear you again. Yeah, same same. So today we're going to talk about another awesome topic in the sobriety world and it is red flags, and it is red flags.

Speaker 2:

Red effing flags that slapped me in the face, which I'm sure they did for you too, megs. Yeah, I've just sort of been contemplating not contemplating reflecting on my past, and you know, as we do in sobriety, like just how far you and I have come, basically. When we were just before we hit record, well, I honoured the fact that I never, ever in my wildest dreams, thought I would live life without alcohol, and you said the same.

Speaker 1:

So big shout out to you and I Yay us Ditching the booze man, because it's fucking awesome hey, it is, it's awesome and, like I said, I don't often stop and just I mean, sometimes I do, sometimes I recognise shit. It's big, but it's big, it's big, it is, yeah, and it was such a big part of our life Like it's massive.

Speaker 2:

So it's really exciting to be on this side of it and to be able to tell people that we were in a place where we never thought it was possible yes, and then the red flags were, you know, flying high, yeah, and in every area of my life, and yet I still just ignored them and thought I just couldn't do it. No, or you're, you're a weirdo, you're a loser, because you know, that was the thing that we don't ever trust anyone that doesn't drink. And you know, just, yeah, I think I actually had my first alcohol dream, like I thought I was drinking when Recently.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, actually I just thought of it. Then I have heaps. Oh well, let's do that, we'll talk about that, because I woke up sweating, going what the actual?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, I have them a lot. I probably had one last night. I'm an extremely vivid dreamer. I'm exhausted from my dreams. They're insane how much I dream, but I very often have drinking ones.

Speaker 2:

uh yeah, it's crazy in my head wow, there's a party in your head, megsie, it's a party in my head.

Speaker 1:

But interesting, some of the dreams will be me saying I don't drink, I can't drink. Some of them will be me drinking and then going oh I've drank, this is you're an idiot, you know. Some of them will be me waking up in my dream going I had a blackout, I can't remember. Like really, wow, that is vivid. But every single time I wake up I'm relieved that it was a dream.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and you didn't have to chew your arm off Taking home some fucking sloppy stranger. Oh well, there's one big red flag, ali. You know that I didn't. I was looking for love in all the wrong places and you know it was risky behaviour and I ignored it because I was like you know, I've got credit for picking up you know, I was on the hunt and I prayed until I caught the animal.

Speaker 2:

I don't know how it goes, but yeah, I had a pretty good fucking strike rate. Let me just tell you that. But that is not anything now to be, uh, you know, championing, but in my mind and back then that was really, you know, I literally was looking for love and just thought, you know, um, if I show you my tits, will you buy me a drink?

Speaker 1:

well, you know what, though? The thing about looking for love? A lot of people who I've met on this journey, um, including me had low self-esteem, and yes, how did that? Is that? We don't. We haven't given ourself the love, the value, the worthiness, so we look for it and it's external validation, and the thing was, for me, it was just fleeting. Nothing was meaningful, because I was always bloody drunk, but it didn't work because there was still that low self-esteem. And. But you know, the thing, ali, with red flags is, hindsight is great, isn't it? Because in hindsight, we can see it all. So we're hoping that by talking about our red flags, we can help other people maybe see them before they get to where we were, um, so we're gonna sort of both go through what some of those were. So yours, one of yours, was promiscuity.

Speaker 2:

Promiscuity, a massive red flag for me. It you know. I mean I think we've discussed that our virginities were lost drunk, um, and you know, a lot of my sex was drunk drunk pretty much until yeah, and just like short-term relationships, flings just you know anybody that I did love I would just push away through jealousy, which is low self-esteem, acker is low self-esteem. And you know, another red flag I was going into therapy as a young sort of adult trying to work out what's wrong with me. Well, that alcohol gave me that courage that I was lacking, because back in those days they didn't say, oh, you know how much are you drinking? Because I was only young and that was kind of air quotes, normal to just be partying in your 20s and into you know, I mean, I got married late. I was 35 when I had my first and only child, which is quite late, because prior to that I was too busy fucking partying to be like, oh, a house and a home and a, even though deep down that's what I wanted. I mean, I've just felt like I was running away all the time. So red flags, there's another one of not being stable in yourself and just being on the run because, you know, I guess, even though I was chasing stability, I was actually running away from it and we'd go to destinations. I mean, I was very grateful I lived in France and England. France was a classic place for an alcoholic and chain smoker because it was cheap, it was very accessible. So we sort of went there, not because you know you could drink, it's just the way that we could live there with the in-laws having a house there. But then we moved over to England and the guy that we were living with was a very successful businessman but, lo and behold, he was a freaking alcoholic and a pretty mean one at that. So that didn't last long.

Speaker 2:

Then we sort of run off back to Australia and don't know you just, it was always revolving around alcohol. Like you know, when we moved back, I just I switched to Bacardi, so I was finding myself a young mum in a new town. What do I do? I can drink. Isolation, mate, is the biggest, even though I had. We bought a farm and it was great because I had zero accountability. I could ride my quad bike, pissed and stoned, with a little two-year-old on it, go down to the dam, have horses Like you, just party on and no one give a fuck and I didn't have to drive anywhere. So, again, you're always feeling like you're on holidays. So I'm very mindful actually, now I am not drinking that like.

Speaker 2:

I'm very mindful actually, now I am not drinking that like I'm currently trying to find a house to buy. And then you know there's opportunities that I could actually move to a different town and which is not a city as such, and I'm like I the old alley was like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but straight away, mate. It was like no, I, yeah, yeah, yeah, but straightaway, mate. It was like no, I don't want that isolation, because not that I will ever drink again. But you know, that's just the quickest way to potentially I don't know start another fucking habit. I don't know.

Speaker 1:

Well, you can recognise now that it won't be a good. A safe choice, yes.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I won't be beer-goggled going. Oh yeah, this looks all right and running on it. Yeah, just not making good decisions, which is another red flag.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and it's great that in your four years alcohol-free, you've learnt these things, and so that's the great thing on this journey is we do? We can see now the red flags and then make different choices going forward.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we're pausing to. Well, it's also that scarcity mindset, you know, changing the mindset like I'm not good enough or I don't deserve that, or you know, it's all these limiting beliefs that were really like, literally holding my hand and alcohol was my, was the um the main, my main source of comfort and my main champion. You know, hang around with people that drink solve the world's problems, but at the end of the day, mate, we can only rely on and trust our own self. Because I started not trusting myself. Well, well, actually, I actually never really trusted myself, to be honest.

Speaker 1:

That's not unusual, I mean. And then, yeah, with alcohol there's no chance, you can't trust yourself. So now it's learning. Yeah, it's confronting those core wounds, changing them, valuing ourselves, which takes effort, but we're doing it and that's's. You know, alcohol was self-medication for me and, like you were saying, there were red flags and we got really good at dismissing them or pretending they're not there or pushing them aside, because that would mean first of all, having a look at alcohol and also ourselves. It was like no way I want to keep drinking. But I was thinking when you were talking, one of my first red flags, which I didn't know really until later, was my first ever, ever drink. I was 18. It was a binge drink.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So I pretty much binge drank every single time I drank. There's a few times probably.

Speaker 1:

I can count on one hand that I had less than three drinks yeah you know, at a time and that would be a great flag, I mean, and. But you know what's interesting, probably in the back of my mind I knew that from an early, early, I mean early age I was 18, but probably I knew the way I drank was pretty full on. But push it aside and also enable it because everyone around me was pretty similar, yeah, but the thing with red flags is you can look back and think you can see it. So it was there and somewhere, somewhere in my gut I was thinking this probably is a bit of a problem, not consciously, but oh, 100%.

Speaker 2:

I mean, I thought that every time I was getting ready and you drink a bottle of Chambers, you know, that.

Speaker 2:

Oh, dutch courage. Oh yeah, yeah, I literally couldn't do anything without alcohol, but it kind of knew your stomach. But I thought people say, oh, did you ever get anxious or did you have anxiety? And I'm like, oh no, well, those little things I just wasn't tuning into or I kind of recognised, but I didn't have the skills to actually unpack that, because I'd just pour the numbing agent on top of it and be like I'll do it tomorrow, or that didn't happen, or you're just so scary to well to take away something that you just rely so heavily on.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, maybe when I was younger when I was actually 18, I'd already been drinking for four-odd years and I said to one of my family members I think I'm an alcoholic and I was only 18 of my family members, I think I'm an alcoholic oh. And I was only 18, mate.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

And what her advice was was oh really, oh, just don't drink as much, I mean, because basically it was 1986 or no 1988. I mean, you know again, what I thought was an alcoholic was what we were brought up red nose, living under a bridge, shaky hands, having a freaking kidney, liver transplant, like everything, rock bottom, like absolutely your world's fallen apart. No, no, I mean, okay, I lost my license and broke a few bones and whatnot, but it kind of, you know, we still continue on.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and that was what we thought and people still do now. But the thing with alcoholics, so it's not recognised as a medical term, which is interesting. So you know what makes an alcoholic and it's like, well, first of all, it's not really. There's nothing that makes an alcoholic. It's like, well, first of all, it's not really. It's not. There's nothing that makes an alcoholic, so it's really um opinion or what we, we think like from back then. But now you know people go, oh, they're an alcoholic, they're an alcoholic. Well, what's the difference between the next person like it, you can't. You can't label it because there's no. You know, one thing suits everyone type thing. For me it's what I felt about myself and that I wanted to change. Take away that whole word. But you're right with the looking around and thinking red nose drinking out of a paper bag. That enabled because it's like I'm not that bad, exactly.

Speaker 2:

I mean, I was a completely high functioning yeah, booze hound oh, totally.

Speaker 1:

And there's, you know, and that's like oh well, I hold down a job, I do this and that, so I'm fine. But the bottom line is, if you have that voice saying it's not fine, that's, that's where you look at it, you don don't have to label it.

Speaker 2:

If you're questioning that question and you're putting into a search engine am I an alcoholic for the sake of saying that word? Well, you already know that you have an issue. So fucking just try not to drink for 30 days or give it a go, like you know something deep down inside of you. You know, we all know it's our highest self. You know, without getting woo-woo boys men out there listening, but we all just do.

Speaker 2:

We all have that innate like oh you know, even if it's like intentionally going out thinking, oh, I'm not going to drink, I'll only have, you know, four beers with the boys on a on a you know night out or a function or whatever, and next minute you're fucking waking up in your own vomit wondering how the hell you got home, yeah, yeah that, my friends, is you have an issue, but it still isn't. That's a major red flag. That often will just be like oh you know, you just get credit. Oh, you know I drank this much and oh, how wicked, you get the credit. That's a fucking big red flag.

Speaker 1:

And the other thing, like I was looking at what are the guidelines Like? If you're looking at that, you know, if you're wondering if your two drinks a night are okay, well that might be a problem for you. One drink, you know. It's so different for everyone and, like I have a client who really, to me, doesn't drink much at all, but to them it's a problem and that's all you need.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's the law, that's their red flag. That's your red flag another red flag is if you have to like worry like I, I would take extra. Like if I was going to a friend's house, I'd literally take extra because I would be like I'd just be the always the last one up, but I would be terrified if they all drank their stuff. And then I'm like sculpting. Yeah, I always had backup booze.

Speaker 1:

Oh, there was no chance I could be left high and dry. I mean.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean because when we would well, I mean in the early days, but not even that early four years ago you could get uber bloody alcohol.

Speaker 1:

Oh well, do you know how lucky it is that didn't happen. You know, I'm so glad that happened after I stopped drinking. I'm so glad a lot of things happened after I stopped drinking, because I think I don't think I would have had a hope. So I feel for anyone that finds that tricky, because I didn't have that option and it was COVID, so you, yeah, but even even the cost of alcohol, because I haven't sort of been out partying since before COVID I look now and think I couldn't have afforded it. I just I would have been spending family money on it now. So I'm very grateful, I'm very grateful, I'm not, but it's just it's really hard as well. It's hard to avoid it.

Speaker 2:

Like I really acknowledge that it's hard to avoid it, like I really acknowledge that I mean also just on a red flag about the I was just thinking then about. It was kind of ironic that all the times that we wanted to drive the kids to school or netball and stuff and we'd all sit around and be like, fuck, I can't wait till you kids can bloody drive.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Well, I'm so, so, so happy that my child didn't have to drive her 50-something-year-old mother to and from anywhere. Pick me up, drop me off, take me to this party Like I fucking would have used her like an Uber driver, and you know that's not fair, but there's a red flag waiting for your child to drive you around to parties. Yeah, and then the other side of that was, it also got me off the hook that they could drive themselves to netball.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I didn't have to. I could lie in bed hungover as shit, because friday night was my night, you know so. I'm so, so it was. It was kind of ironic and annoying at the same time, because I wouldn't know one night just to pick me up and drop me home, because all those times but I'm really, really, you know so there's a red flag if you're waiting for your kids to get a driving license so they can uber you around. No, it's not their job.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Quite frankly.

Speaker 1:

No, it's not.

Speaker 2:

Maybe once in a while. Absolutely, if you go into a family thing, but not like I would have done it, no, Well, that was it.

Speaker 1:

It was a joke between my friends. Oh, I can't wait until the kids grow up and they can drive us. I mean, it was a joke, but luckily I didn't get to that point either. Um, I stopped before they were of driving age and I'm bloody relieved, uh, because they would have hated me for that, but it's also you know, I just cringed that we even joked about it um, I yeah.

Speaker 2:

Well, no, we were serious. But also one of the things that would have fucked it up was because they could only drive up until midnight. Yeah, so it'd be definitely. I'd get a one-way drop off and then maybe had to, you know, uber or pick up on the way home well, the other was the l's.

Speaker 1:

When you're on your l's you can't have a drink. So that would have pissed me off anyway having to get through that first year. Imagine getting pulled over when your kids on their ls and you're over the limit, like that would have been a problem for me teaching my kids to drive Again. It's just lucky timing-wise I didn't have to do that, but that would have been me. I can't take you today. Can't take you today. Can't take you today. I can take you at 2pm. That's time over.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, before, before, after the hungovers, after that it's wine time. So, yeah, maybe that can be a good little, you know, for someone out there that you know is sober, curious, and their kids are getting coming up to their elves. It's like, well, you know, you've got to teach them to drive. I mean, look, there could be the devil's advocate saying, oh well, you need to drink after getting in a car with your fucking kid. I get it, but it's um, maybe something to keep you accountable. Like, okay, let's get you a driving license lessons, I'll take you. And because, also, you've got to do the nighttime driving, and because I was a single parent, I couldn't. The other, the ex, was a raving alcoholic, so there was no chance of getting him in the car and her L plate sober. So it was up to me. And again, I'm just grateful that, just by the way of the synchronicities, I actually was sober at that stage it certainly wasn't thought about, it was just by chance.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

But you know like, yeah, a red flag there, if you can't get in the car to teach a kid to drive because you're thinking, oh fuck, I have to not have my drink tonight yeah, yeah you know, you can look at everything as a red flag, really, but well, I guess, yeah, there's some tools. We can well, not tools, but on the flip side, you know it, it's just life's so much better without the booze, isn't? It Megsie, it totally is we don't have to worry about this shit.

Speaker 1:

We don't have to worry and I think, with us going through them, it might help you. You know, people listening recognise that maybe, yeah, there's some red flags happening. But also, I wouldn't go past your gut. You know, somewhere in your gut you feel it and pay attention. Your beer gut yeah, somewhere in your beer gut you feel it. If it's wrong, if you're starting to question even for me it was questioning is this the life I want to live? And then starting to say there's more to life. Listen, listen to that. That won't go away if it's started um. But, like I said, it's so different for everyone that you don't have to be at a certain level of drinking to want to stop or to to stop um.

Speaker 2:

You can google all you want, but if you're, if something in your head saying need to look at this, then listen yeah and and yeah, because it's like, even just to like, I know I tried the moderation thing first, which you know that's cool, but red flag, I can't, I can't moderate. So then you know, then it's like oh damn it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

You know, spend another couple of years still trying to moderate or just hitting the fucker button, like we discussed the other day, and it's, yeah, just got to take some curiosity and some confidence and self-love, like back yourself self-worth, like it's taken me, you know. I mean, it's taken me a long time to even think Like, yeah, you take the liquid away and we talk about doing the work and all that, like not everybody's grown up in a sort of a everyone's got different issues, but it's sort of the reason, if you're drinking, to like numb shit out for whatever reason, you know, to get that second chance at life. That's how I look at sobriety now, yeah, is you know I'm not married anymore? I did that, you know.

Speaker 2:

Trash, like you know. Write myself off after the divorce gave me. You know trash, like you know, write myself off after the divorce. You know, did that. There's all those red flags that you know I don't have to spill out, but coming on the other side and actually getting to know myself, because I do feel I think we touched on as well like that emotional immaturity.

Speaker 2:

I mean you know, like I didn't know how to regulate myself, let alone talk up for myself or back myself or encourage myself. I gave that to alcohol, and whoever else was in my I was always sitting in the back seat.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And you know, I guess, yeah, I don't know I'm tooting my own horn, but it just, you know, know, getting rid of those red flags. Now I've got the actual headspace and bandwidth to to, yeah, look around and go, fuck man, I've got a second chance. And and get back into those hobbies and things, because you know we just ditch it all for the booze. Well, I did.

Speaker 1:

I did. Yeah, totally. And yeah, have a look at you know, live life and have a look at what you used to like. If you don't know where to start, Go back to that. For me, that meant taking up tennis for a bit. Yeah, gave tennis lessons a guy a couple of years ago Until you hurt your hip. Well, no, actually because of menopause, my migraines mean the ball. The ball caused a migraine. I mean how go figure? Yeah, so that was crazy. But I've done heaps of things. I've tried heaps of different things. It's actually what's come out of it for me is saying yes to more things that I might have been scared, or saying yes to positive things has been massive for me. Saying no to things that aren't going to, aren't aligning anymore, and just sort of living. And yeah, like I still love things like roller coasters, like going on jet boats I'll do that every now and then I climbed the Harbour Bridge for my 50th.

Speaker 2:

Oh, wow.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and you did the cold plunge recently in the morning, like just living, living, you know, doing things and finding out what you enjoy and having joyful moments, because joy is not a full time state.

Speaker 2:

So we've got to look for it yeah, just side note, I will never. I won't be plunging again next year, fucking hell mate. Never, ever will I be saying yes to a cold plunge on the winter solstice, just saying.

Speaker 1:

Oh, my I did it.

Speaker 2:

I've seen, I came.

Speaker 1:

You know what Exactly? You never have to do it again, but the fact you did it was a big fat, yes, and now it's a big fat no, again it's a hard no, it was a yes, and then I got there.

Speaker 2:

Meg, you should have seen my face. And, luckily, the girls that were with me. They're hardcore plungers and they do know that I've come down from the north. They're looking at me. Oh my God, and I mean, for a start, I'm the one wearing freaking Ugg boots and they're all wearing thongs and it was like there's a red flag, ali doesn't want to go in and I'm like we have to peel off.

Speaker 1:

it was like bitterly cold and it was like did you, did you say sucked into them, when afterwards you could put your feet in Ugg boots and they had thongs like come on?

Speaker 2:

no, because no, they didn't. They just walked across the lawn with no bloody shoes on, and I'm like my feet were like ice blocks. Honestly, I could have cried. I was like this has got gotten off.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh, I think that's an awesome thing that you can tick off your list, but um, and it was for a good cause and we do.

Speaker 2:

We do do it actually every sunday, saturday morning. You know, part of my sobriety. I've met some lovely ladies, um, and they just know now that I just just not going to respond to the group text that, oh yeah, we're heading down to the beach now. I'm like, yeah, I'm rolling over and snoring.

Speaker 2:

Keeping warm mate because it's just, but also learning about that. You know, cold, cold plungers are actually not really great for the women and with my nervous system, this is all this is. You know, could be all bullshit really, but this is what I've been taught, this is what I've been telling the plungers that. Oh, you know, because I'm asthmatic and I'm working on my vagal nervous system or vagus nervous system, I can't plunge because it does send me into like that, and I actually did twice.

Speaker 1:

I've had two headaches yeah, right, you do have to be careful. Definitely there's definitely conditions as well, like heart conditions, that you should not be doing that with um. So look it always, always suss out with your doctor. But I've done a few ice baths and, whilst I really enjoyed that brief time of my life, I I don't know that I'm an ice barfer that brief time of my life.

Speaker 2:

I don't know that I'm an ice bath. No, because the science says women shouldn't be ice bathing at below 13 degrees.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so a cold shower is good, yes, and I say, have a hot shower.

Speaker 2:

Which I would still never do have a hot shower and put the cold on at the end. That's right In summer.

Speaker 1:

I haven't I'm not so good at doing it in winter.

Speaker 2:

Women should be doing the sauna. Okay, yeah, so we need to heat up naturally. So, yeah, I'll follow this lady, dr Stacey Sims, shout out to her, she's incredible.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Follow her on Instagram. She is just everything about exercise, from the day Dot was all about men and she's a myth buster. She's also a fantastic doctor and women's health advocate and nutritionist and blah, blah, blah, blah blah. She's uber famous and Dr Stacey Sims follow her because there is actual evidence to say why we shouldn't be doing that, okay, that's good and that's also like in, honestly, as much as I don't want to do cold plunging. That's kind of in my brain like yes, well, dr Stacey Sims said I can't, so I won't.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. Well, I say you know what? Research things because we shouldn't just do things because it's a trend or because everyone says it's good for you, everything that's good for you, everything that's good for people, is not good for every single person. So we just, you know, look into things before, but I'm glad to say I've done it and got it out of my system and, um, bring on the next thing. Yeah, bring it. It's nice to, and that's how you find, that's how you get to finding things you love, you know, and meeting people along the way and living life that you, you know, you you don't you sort of deep down really wanted though, like well you know, did you think that?

Speaker 2:

well, the end of my relationship with alcohol. I was fucking lonely, mate oh yeah.

Speaker 1:

Well, it's been an active process of looking, looking to meet people, looking to try different things. It's a process of actually going out and finding that, because guess what, when? When I was a drinker, I actively found people that wanted to drink. So it's the same bloody thing. But this is positive, it's better, it's exciting, and when you find the things that light you up, there's nothing compares to it.

Speaker 2:

It's true, it's authentic and it's lasting as opposed to alcohol and you can remember it all and you can you make better decisions, if that's. You know, my decision making when I was, uh, booze hound was atrocious and I'm just so grateful too I wasn't fucking kidnapped and or murdered because I bloody did some shit, man that you know. But yeah, I was lonely trying to find. But even those people that I hung around with, you know, we'd say all this stuff like, oh yeah, let's go do this, and yeah, let's go do that, and we'd go do it. But you know what it always had to have a fucking esky.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2:

So this, you know, it's still kind of not in, it's not authentic. It still didn't tick that box for me. So but yeah, definitely, yeah, red flags on friends and stuff like that. Now, yeah, your gut, now I'll listen to it Me non-beer gut, just my menopause gut, so yeah, well, anyway, I think we got the bottom of red flags. We sort of went on a little side note and up and down rollercoaster way as we do. Meggie, we love that. Yeah, this is us. It's the way we roll. We start off on a topic and end up on that's right.

Speaker 1:

Don't hold us to the topic of the show, because it could be many topics. We start out with good intention and then we just go off on a tangent which topics we start out.

Speaker 2:

We start out with good intention and then we just go off on a tangent, which is good. It's a good tangent, tag adhd. Well, lovely to see and talk to you, megsy, you too, and we'll um see you and talk again very soon.