Laughs without Lager

Reclaiming Your Worth: The Financial and Emotional Freedom of Sobriety

• Ali and Meg

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Imagine standing in a store, debating whether to spend $75 on a massage gun for chronic pain relief, while never once questioning dropping $200 on weekend alcohol. This jarring realization sparked our deep dive into the strange financial double standards we create before and after sobriety.

We unpack how society normalizes spending on harmful habits while scrutinizing healthier choices. "$15,500 saved in 3.5 years of sobriety" isn't just an impressive number—it represents freedom from the warped priorities alcohol created in our lives. Yet many of us still struggle with feeling worthy of investing in our wellbeing.

The conversation weaves through powerful revelations about self-worth, fear, and authenticity. "We drank because we were scared we would never get the things we desired so much," we realize, acknowledging how alcohol numbed not just pain but our deepest desires. Sobriety exposes this vulnerability but also reveals our innate strength. Those qualities we thought alcohol gave us—creativity, confidence, humor—were within us all along.

Beyond personal transformation, we discover the profound impact of sharing these insights. When one person finds their way through the fog of alcohol use disorder, they create a path for others to follow. Our most meaningful connections now come from authenticity rather than the false intimacy alcohol provided.

Ready to reclaim your financial and emotional freedom? Join us as we navigate the beautiful, sometimes uncomfortable journey of discovering what we truly value when alcohol no longer makes our decisions. What would you invest in if you redirected your alcohol budget toward your wellbeing?

Contact Us:

https://www.meganwebb.com.au/podcast-1


Ali

insta: https://www.instagram.com/idontdrinkfullstop/


Meg

website: https://www.meganwebb.com.au/

insta: https://www.instagram.com/meganwebbcoaching/

bookclub: https://www.alcoholfreedom.com.au/unwinedbookclub

Connect AF: https://www.elizaparkinson.com/groupcoaching

Speaker 1:

Meg Z Ellie how you going?

Speaker 2:

How are we?

Speaker 1:

Awesome. What have we?

Speaker 2:

got on today.

Speaker 1:

Jumping so ahead, we're so excited, we're talking over ourselves. Well, I went on my little walk today as I sore and um, so to relieve my stress and my aches and pains, I bought a massage gun thing right for my birthday a month ago. And why I'm telling you this is because when I was in a rather large shop, um, where I bought it from, I was questioning spending, it was $75 and it was actually half price, so it would have been $150. Now, $150. I probably already could tell you now wouldn't have bought that. So, but I was standing there thinking, oh, $, $75, $75, should I, shouldn't I? Oh, okay, it's my birthday and I did.

Speaker 1:

And then I was driving home and I thought, what the actual? Because if I had gone into a large liquor store and it was I would have bought two bottles of vodka for probably $160, right, get the two-for-one offer. It wouldn't have even crossed my mind. So what is it that, that scarcity mindset of? Well, yeah, I just thought, wow, in the old days, buying booze on a Friday or for the weekend, I would have dropped, you know, 200 bucks. Then that was just the alcohol to drink, not Ubers, outings, chinese on the food for Sunday, because you couldn't be asked to hang over Chinese food for sunday because you couldn't be over chinese, hangover chinese um.

Speaker 1:

So therefore my grand total would have been maybe four or five hundred bucks oh not even thought about it yet my bloody daggy massage gun was on sale and I bought it for $75, still questioning to buy it. Now that's just crazy, right.

Speaker 2:

And also you're going to have it for longer than vodka.

Speaker 1:

Yes, that bubba.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we question it. Yeah, we question it. Can I just ask how it is?

Speaker 1:

It's fucking great. I use it today because I drive all my bloody days. I drive around this shire, you know, protecting the public, and the seat in my car is shite, anyway. So today, like yeah, I've used it earlier today.

Speaker 1:

No, it's like a, literally like a gun, like a hairdryer actually. So it's like a hairdryer and then you put the attachment on the end of it and you press how many strengths you want and go for it. Wow, that's what I want to talk about. Is how on earth, even in my sobriety or because I'm sober, that I still have that. I don't know that thing on myself, that am I worth spending $75 on a gun thing for my health and it would last a lot longer than a bottle of vodka would last me. I'd try and stretch it out for maybe a week if maybe, you know, I'd have rules around the vodka.

Speaker 1:

That's when I was a single parent. When I was with my ex, a bottle of vodka wouldn't last 10 minutes, which is why we ended up making moonshine to save money, right, we ended up making moonshine to save money, right, but in my you know, singlehood and motherhood, that um had to last a bit longer. But yeah, still, I would reward myself with vodka. I wouldn't get a pedicure. I've never really had a pedicure unless I was in Bali. Um, now I do. I never used to get massages unless I was in Bali because they're too expensive. Now I do. So my self-care has. I've overturned that thought of you know, can you afford to get a massage or not feel guilty about getting a pedicure? Whereas I never even questioned that. Megs, you would spend all that money, you know, going out and it wouldn't even be a thought. And Ubers, jesus, just the Uber bill was ridiculous and all that, yeah, so did you find that? When you gave drinking away, did you have those questions in your head like oh really, megs, do you really want to spend that on that?

Speaker 2:

You know what, just listening to you has me thinking, because I so. First of all, with alcohol, it was just never a question. I was going to spend the money and so it was always going to. I just didn't question it. But since then I definitely toss things up more, but I don't. I mean, I definitely have worthiness issues, but I don't not get things because I don't think I deserve it.

Speaker 2:

I think what I'm kind of coming up with is that just society in general. I think it's like you don't want to say, oh, you know, I'm going to spoil myself, or it's almost like it's wrong to do that. I don't know, does that make sense? Like if I said so I've started Pilates and it's not to do that? I don't know, does that make sense? Like if I said so I've started pilates and it's not the cheapest exercise, but I do not drink, I do not go out much, right, so I'm. I feel like though I have to say that to people because I've had the odd comment of like, but it's so expensive, and it's like I feel like saying to the people well, you're spending more on piss and transport than me because I'm spending zero on it, but there's just this question around it and it goes for everything.

Speaker 2:

You know everything you buy. How much was it? How much? Yet no one will ask how much your wine was. No one. I never got quizzed on how much have you spent on your alcohol? Never. So society sort of go you don't want to show. I don't know, I don't know what it is. You're screwed, yeah.

Speaker 1:

I don't know. Yeah, it's this, this, that again we're in that defending our choices of well, even to myself I'm, you know I'm actually questioning myself, let alone having to question it to somebody else like, hmm, what? So you're going to Bali? Yeah, oh, can you afford that? How do you Like none of your business, but it's only because I can afford it, because I don't waste my money on fucking alcohol and Chinese and whatever else.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I feel like we have to defend ourselves, yeah, on everything, like oh, you've got a steak, like all of that shit, but like we get to choose. Now we get to choose what we want to spoil ourselves with, and I mean, everyone gets to choose, but we're not wasting it. So I've got this app I brought up before and it tells me this is based on right $12 a day on alcohol. That's all $12 a day. I averaged it out and in three and a half years it says I've saved $15,500.

Speaker 1:

Far out mate.

Speaker 2:

So that is, I can do all the Pilates I bloody want, but you know what I mean. That is money and things have gone up in that time, so it probably would have been more than that that I'd be spending and I was going more towards spirits, which cost more, you know shit. But I don't want to have to make excuses and I know, like you said, to ourselves as well. I guess that's the reason it triggers me is because I guess I feel that too, you know, should I be spending it? So maybe it is a I don't deserve this, I shouldn't be spending money on this, but somehow we let ourselves spend it on alcohol and did not question it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it was just a no-brainer go through, we'll work. I mean, look, I would always get the two-for-one or more, but you know, most of the time that's because they're always on special. So I just used to drink. I mean, I'd say vodka was pretty much, but it got to the point where I'd just drink whatever the hell I could get the two-for-one.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And it wasn't about the vodka. It was about what it was going to do to me.

Speaker 2:

Totally, and that's why we didn't question it. It was kind of like we'd got to that point where it was like I just you know why I just numb out what was the quickest way to get it? Uh, pissed really and well, exactly, and numb it out, numb out the worry about spending money on it yeah just numb it out but it was a no-brainer, whereas it's so clear that as soon as you stop, people might question not everyone, of course, but some people will question you're, you're doing what, you spent what?

Speaker 1:

and they're not even thinking that they're going to go out that night and spend 200 bucks yeah, well, when I was still drinking, I um found a horse riding place for my daughter and, like we were double income, my husband and I were both working and, um, you know so. But but that aside, I really wanted my daughter. Daughter because when we had a farm, we left the farm when she was about, oh, I'd say, two and a bit years old. We sold everything and moved to the other side of the world, and when we had the farm, we had a little horse for her, called Jenny, and she was the cutest little Welsh mountain pony, right. And so when I I've always wanted to horse ride and you kind of got to do it when you're little to get the right things, anyway she would have been. Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1:

I found a horse riding place and I thought, right to get her because we did netball, but for her to continue to do something other than sport, let's do the horse riding Now. Oh my God, if I didn't have the couple of ladies we'll call them at school, one in particular made me feel so guilty for spending. Ah, not guilty. She was like, ah, horse riding lessons, oh my God, they're expensive, aren't they? And I was like, no, not really.

Speaker 1:

Oh well, no, well, I really want my to do it, and I was straight away defending my choice of, and she was kind of like hmm, and then I sort of oh, and then I think well, you smoke and drink, so how much is a packet of fags Literally a packet of cigarettes is how much the lessons were. In fact, it was cheaper to have an hour writing lesson for your child than to buy a pack of Nicos. So I'm like boo-hoo you. But she didn't stop doing those lessons. She stopped because something happened and she stopped. But my point is is that to try and do something healthy for your kid, is that?

Speaker 1:

to try and do something healthy for your kid, or even yeah, was frowned upon like, oh, can you afford that? That's really expensive. And it shamed me and made me feel guilty and I'm like, hang on, no, no, no, no, no. That's the people pleaser in me got. You know, I literally had to defend that my spending on my own backyard child. And I'm like, yeah, but that's how nasty people can be when they're so protective of their alcohol.

Speaker 2:

Maybe I would never say that to someone no, I know, neither would I, and I think I just think it's so interesting. I think maybe it is a scarcity mindset. I'm not like and and I'm part of it, just in that. You know, it's um like, should we spend money on these things? But it's like that's where I find it so interesting that it's a no-brainer for the naughty things like the alcohol, cigarettes. It's just confusing. It's um yeah, and I think it's because stigma's attached. Well, if you're spending money on things like that, then you're a snob.

Speaker 1:

But you know, I don't know exactly that tall poppy syndrome, which you know I didn't think we had in Australia Definitely was when we lived in England. Like you couldn't say that you know you owned a horse and I had a wood. When in England we lived with the guys, fucking loaded multimillionaire, so we had that sort of. And he said to us when we first got there to live with him, he got his money through property and he said to us be prepared to lose, be prepared to have no friends. And we were like what? Because England had that, you know, if you came from nothing, then you wasn't encouraged. It was like, yeah, the tall poppy syndrome. So I guess you know me getting into.

Speaker 1:

Like we were brought up poor and when my husband and I were together, you know he got a quite a good, well-paying job, so our income was a lot for me, you know. So I had to wrestle with that. You know like, oh, can I? I don't know. I just didn't know what to do with that, really, because somebody said it and of course, she didn't stop doing those writing lessons because of that person. I'm not that fucking weak. However, it just naturally turned out that she didn't want to continue to do it for her own, my daughter's own thing. But yeah, it was certainly. I didn't really say that more. You know what are you doing this afternoon. Do you want to come over and drink? And I wouldn't say, oh yeah, I'm taking my daughter writing lessons. I'd just make up a lie.

Speaker 2:

I mean how?

Speaker 1:

shit's that.

Speaker 2:

You know, I'd say it's normal that you'd sort of protect yourself and your daughter by just saying that. But you know, what it comes down to really is priorities, and we prioritized alcohol over everything, and so alcohol is going to win out. It depends what people's priorities are. And now, because I had someone you know, I'd say, oh, pilates is so expensive. It's like priorities, my friend. Yeah, I prioritize my health and my movement of my body, because it's important at this age particularly, that we do move our body and it's, you know, enjoyable as well. And um priorities I can't even say that word now priorities I prioritize my health darling.

Speaker 1:

I mean, I do. I am more smug in my sobriety because you know why not I get to wake up every morning, do the downward dog and say hello to the moon when it's out, Hello to the stars. I saw a shooting star the other morning, Meg oh, and I wish like hell it's coming, and but that I wouldn't have even noticed. Being hung over, prioritising my because the weekend, last night, for example, would have been straight through to the drive-through bottle shop, or I would have done it through work, called into the liquor store, grabbed me 75, probably. I don't even know how much a bottle of vodka is now. That would just I would have had it all planned in my head. And that doesn't include people. That doesn't include the mixes, right?

Speaker 1:

yeah the mixes, uh, you know, soda water, dash of coke, me lime. Yeah, my ice, my ice tray would have had to been topped, up like it's a whole ritual. And now I, you know, that isn't in my. If I want to go for a massage today, then I'm going, yeah, and I have to question it. I don't have to tell anybody. Just, yeah, everyone, stay in your own lane, basically. But yeah, I just thought that was kind of what I wanted to talk to you today about. If you've found that as well, like you know, thinking, well, can I afford it? Can I afford that daggy massager? Yeah, I can. Can I afford that steak that I'm going to buy later? Yeah, I can.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah. Because I'm not wasting money on um on alcohol yeah, exactly, and some of it will be. You know, for some people, and like you mentioned a am I worth it, and so that's a practice too rewarding yourself and going, yes, I am worth it, and working through that shit because we are worth it well, that's why I drank like a fish, because I didn't think I was worth anything other than being alcoholic.

Speaker 1:

Alley party girl alley, um, whatever else labels alley. Look, you know, now I'm completely and utterly single. I I'm working on my root chakra because I'm learning all of these things that I'm like, oh, that's comes down to stability, feeling safe, mate, it's. I'm just learning so much stuff. And having Reiki yeah, that that costs a little bit of money, but just trying to heal that, that part of us that just just didn't think that we're worth anything, yeah whether that's a bottle of you know nice perfume or a ribeye or whatever it's like actually.

Speaker 1:

No, I'm not going to question that anymore on my worthiness, and that's self-love, not selfishness, and that's another thing that I'm learning in sobriety is, you know, yeah, I'm learning, I don't know, I'm dribbling now I'm dribbling.

Speaker 2:

I was in a trance, listening you know what, though it's like I drank because I was scared I would never get the things I desired so much, and it was easier to yeah, it was easier to numb it, and I think there is a big fear and risk around getting rid of the alcohol because we're facing that and it's like I've had to do, you know, work around. What if you know, what if I don't succeed? What if I do? But the fact is it's huge to be sort of we're vulnerable and exposed now.

Speaker 1:

But what if we do get it? That's the exciting thing. What if we aren't Even talking on this platform? It's like, what if no one listens? Is the one reason why I wouldn't have done it, meg, but Ali, what if people do listen? Like it's just that? What if that failure in me, you know, is something I'm working on, because numbing out three miscarriages yeah.

Speaker 1:

I mean I blamed. I kind of blamed. I blame myself, but maybe I could have blamed alcohol. Was I drinking too much? Then there's the shame and the guilt and but just working that actually is. I've been going through life as a failure. Bitch. Fuck you. Strip that back and it's like wow.

Speaker 2:

So what if I don't get the soulmate and the house and everything? But what if? What if I get the real me and I get self-esteem and then I get love from wherever it's going to come from, and authenticity? And what if I do then end up getting some things I've dreamt about, you know, but in a healthier way? It's just so exciting that we now get the chance to live the life that we avoided because we were scared, you know. We were scared of different things no self-esteem, for whatever reasons we've told ourselves, you know.

Speaker 1:

Well, staying in relationships far too long. I stayed in my marriage far, far, far too long. Yes, I got a beautiful child out of it. Absolutely, she was made in love. But that was scarcity mindset at you know, I can't leave because we're married. Yeah, I can't do this on my own. What about I can't afford not to be married. That was a massive thing. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

You know and guess what, like I can, we can, and it's just, yeah, not looking for that externals Totally, which has been a massive, not looking for that externals Totally, which has been a massive, massive thing for me. Yeah, and what if? What if I ditch the booze and face our fears? And I love that with the manifesting, I'm actually intentionally dating myself because I want to bring in, I'm thinking, oh, universe, bring me, you know someone who's kind, gentle, generous, funny, guess what that's me? Yes, what Exactly? I mean, it's just, I love it learning about this stuff and what I've attracted, we've attracted out of lack, and why we used alcohol just to potentially think, oh, we'll see if I drink we are funnier, we are more creative, and what we've talked about before, no, we're not, it's already in us.

Speaker 2:

Yep.

Speaker 1:

It's already in us and that, my friend, everyone gets sober just because of that. When you learn to actually go, wow yeah we are those things and that's what we've. That gut thing, that's what we've always wanted to yes achieve and, you know, feel the fear and do it anyway. It's bloody scary, mate. But so fucking doing the same shit and waking up with that same anxiety hangover. I will never feel like that, ever again. And why would you want to?

Speaker 2:

and that's more scary to me. That is more scary to do the same. It is so much more scary. But you are so right, it is in us and that is what's so cool. And I look at, I picked men for outside validation because I didn't know I could do it myself, and the immaturity in my relationships is quite clear now. But we didn't know any different. Um, but now to be able to see that if I'd looked after myself, you know, that's where it begins and we have a chance to do that now and that's so exciting and it's scary and it's amazing.

Speaker 1:

And that's why it's important to use our voice, because we've overcome those limiting beliefs. Not overcome, overcoming, but, mate, I'm 90% further than drinking and being in therapy. What a waste of you know. Not a waste, nothing's a waste, it's all a lesson. But you know, like those things that I was talking to the therapist about, and then using the alcohol to think that's helping me get those things, or yeah, man, it's. It's just, it's fascinating really. This, this self-help stuff, but in a um, clear mind oh clarity is cool, man.

Speaker 1:

And um yeah, that's why it's using our voice, and if nobody listens, I don't give a shit. I'm doing it for us. I'm doing this for me yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

And also, if it, if we help one person and I know you hear that all the time, but it's so true because I've had clients reach out and say like I have one in particular and she's doing amazing and she's started her own business and she's so cool and she says it's hugely thanks to me. And I cannot tell you how differently I felt when I heard that. You know you hear it all the time and then when it, I sat and thought about it, I thought I really really did help her and that came from lived experience. I mean, I've learned how to coach, but lived experience and being able to tell people you as well what, what has worked for us yeah that's all people want to know, and how, and um, it just meant so much to me that she's changed her life.

Speaker 2:

Uh, because of this, you know, um, it just meant so much to me. So I know that by doing this, we we will have people listen and it will touch people's heart regardless. Um, maybe not everyone's, but the right people, and I think how big that is, and we're giving back because we know what.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, this has changed our life yeah, 100 megsy. Well, dals, that is a our time up people, you can get off the treadmill now.

Speaker 2:

You can get off the treadmill now. I love that Ali's going to refer to the gym every time, because you are listening on the treadmill, love it, or you're in the car listening to Audible. Whatever you're doing, we are so grateful that you're here and we will see you next time.