Danni Carr; How I Quit Alcohol

Ever plan your grand return to wine, only to realize you want your mornings more than the glass? That’s where our guest, musician and trauma‑informed sober coach Danni, found herself after a “just twelve months off” pact turned into eight years of clarity. We dive into the messy middle—shame spirals, identity in the music scene, and the gut-punch of waking to calls you don’t remember—and then get practical about what actually keeps you steady when the clink of glasses sounds tempting.

We talk about alcohol as a nervous system solution that works until it doesn’t, and the three questions that flipped the script: what happened to me, what did alcohol do for me, and what was it protecting me from? Danni shares how journaling, therapy, and compassionate inquiry reduced the noise, while simple, repeatable tools—slow nasal breathing, short somatic check-ins, and unfussy yoga—created that vital pause between urge and action. No perfection posturing here; just grounded strategies that you can use at a barbecue, in the car, or in the hallway before a tough conversation.

We also go deep on perimenopause and sobriety: how alcohol masks symptoms, wrecks sleep, and magnifies anxiety, and why evidence-based care, HRT, and micro-practices matter. You’ll hear how daily rituals lowered baseline stress, strengthened relationships, and made space for honesty without the hangover. Danny opens up about her evolving course, the importance of community, and choosing to slow down to prioritize family and a life on tour that aligns with her values.

If you’ve ever wondered why you drink, how to stop doom-scrolling after a night out, or what to do with the awkward minutes at a party, this episode hands you a humane, workable roadmap. Listen, breathe with us for a minute, and leave with tools you can use tonight.

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Contact Us: 

https://www.meganwebb.com.au/podcast-1

meganwebbcoaching@gmail.com

Ali

insta:  https://www.instagram.com/idontdrinkfullstop/

Meg

website:  https://www.meganwebb.com.au/

insta: https://www.instagram.com/meganwebbcoaching/

Connect AF: https://www.elizaparkinson.com/groupcoaching

Transcript

Meet Danny And The 12-Month Plan

SPEAKER_01 0:41

Hello, hello. Welcome to Lunch and Atlanta. We have a special guest today. Who is it, Ali? It's Danny Kamala. Hello Quit Alcohol. Welcome. Hello, ladies. How are you?

SPEAKER_00 0:57

Thanks for having me. Thanks for coming on. It's great to have you here, Danny.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Oh, it's always nice to be asked to come on and share a story. So thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

Yeah, well, you're quite uh pivotal in my, you know, ditch in the booze. So you're my first. Um this year we've decided to open up um our you know podcast to guests. And you're the, you know, for me, you're my top of the the list to come on because yeah, I talk about you quite often and your um challenge. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:32

Thank you. Yeah, great. Well, it's uh well thank you. That's quite an honour and a privilege, and I'm very stoked. And uh it's great. And it's just great to see you where you're at today and how far you've come, and just watching your journey has been really beautiful, and you're such an amazing human. So yeah, I'm really stoked that you're doing this.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

Thank you, yeah. So I guess we'll start with like, yeah, tell us about how and why you ditched the booze.

Music, Identity, And Alcohol Culture

Shame Spirals And Self-Loathing

SPEAKER_02 2:01

Oh god, I I yeah this I guess mainly we did it. Uh my husband Ash and I, we did it to together, and it was never meant to be a permanent thing. It was meant to be 12 months off. And we did it with a group of um musicians and friends, and uh it was kind of just a let's just uh have 12 months off, and that was it, and we were completely planning on drinking again. I was pretty desperate for any excuse to stop. I tried so many times to stop, and I, you know, like we've all done with you know a week off, a month off, all that kind of thing. And what I didn't know then, which I've learnt about myself since, is that for me, I think my drinking was more of a a fawn response, a people-pleasing response than it was, you know, I wanted to stop so desperately, but I was so scared about what other people would think of me because that was so much of my identity was wrapped up in my drinking. And my husband being a musician, and I'm a musician, with and the circles that we not that our friends were completely out of control, trash bags, to be honest. I think we were some of the worst of the group, but it's just everywhere, and not to say it's just the music industry, there's so many industries where alcohol is rife, but it just seems particularly rife in the music industry, and it's getting thrown at you and it's free, and it's of course it's bundled up there with nerves and all that kind of thing as well. And then in the touring lifestyle, you're away, or say Ash would be away on tour, and I'd be home with the kids, and I was lonely, and you know, just having gatherings, and part of the gathering was to to get you know, alcohol and drugs as well, and just party hard. And so who the hell, you know, and that's been decades, Ellie. Like I started drinking when I was 13 and in a small country town, and we just got fucked up, fucked up fingered every weekend. Like it's kind of sorry to be gross, but that's what we were doing, you know, every weekend. And so it was just like I didn't know how to exist beyond that and how to be accepted by people beyond that. But as I said, I didn't any realize any of that until I did the work much later on. So anyway, Ash and I, Ash was drinking too much as well. Hope you don't mind me saying Ash is laying over in the bed listening to a podcast. Um yeah, and we so we got to the end and a few of our friends dropped off, and then a few of them kept going. Um, Scott from The Living End and his girlfriend, they they stuck in there as well. And we got to the end of that 12 months, and I kind of nervously just said to them, I don't think I want to go back because we did a lot of work on ourselves in that time too, just journaling and just everything, just a lot of journaling. It was just all about that, really, and uh listening to Wayne Dyer and and really pouring ourselves into kind of spiritual practices as well and a lot of manifest like manifestation stuff. I know that can sound a bit, but that's what we were doing, and oh god, yeah. I mean, Ash has his own story with that too, which is phenomenal. But yeah, it just got to the end, and I just thought I can't go back to that self-loathing. Like I woke up pretty much every time I drank, couldn't remember how I got to bed, couldn't remember if I fed my kids, couldn't remember who I called, you know, when we do that scroll, the the scroll of doom. Like, who did I ring and who did I message and what the hell did I say? Oh my god, I rang them, you know, like and then I would get to the point where I I remember really vividly, like going, okay, it was only like two minutes, so I couldn't have done much damage in two minutes, thank God. But oh my god, the dread and the bun squeeze when it was like it was a like 50-minute conversation.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

Yeah, what the f I can't remember that.

Choosing Not To Return To Drinking

SPEAKER_02 6:04

That stuff was just, and I just I hated myself and the oversharing, like I'm a chronic oversharer, couple that with drinking, and um a bit feisty, I would say, get a bit aggro. Don't look at me the wrong way, I'm gonna tell you what I think of you, you know. And I love to bring pick yeah, point the finger, uh, bring them down a peg or two, you know, famous rock star. Well, I'll fucking show you, you know, like and just oh god, the cringe the next day. So um just all of that, just you know, you feel so there's so much bravado when you're in it, and then the next day it's like the complete opposite, you know, and we all know that that shame and the dread, and I just couldn't stand it anymore. I did not want that anymore, and just also starting to just be a bit, I don't know, just acting in ways that it's like this isn't me, like this isn't me, and this is not who I want to be, and I'm I don't want this anymore. So very long answer to your question. I hope I didn't go on too much. That's kind of it in a nutshell. So we got to the 12 months, I said to Ash, I can't like we were planning what we were going to drink. It was literally two weeks before, right up until two weeks before, where you know, I just we had planned we were meant to be going to Canada, planned what we were going to drink, who we were drinking with, what we were doing, and I just like I this the trip got cancelled. Said to Ash, yeah, I just I can't go back to that. I just you know, for our relationship's sake, for the kids' sake, and most importantly, I I just couldn't do it for me. And he luckily said, Well, if you're not, I'm not. Let's keep going. And because we honestly felt pretty awesome. Like there was some shit times in there, don't get me wrong, it was some, as we all know, like shit times, lonely, depressed, sad, am I boring? You know, all that stuff. Um, and then Scott and Claire said the same, like, nah, we're not going back either. So we had this little foresome of just going, the awesome foresome of um, you know, let's just keep it, keep it rolling.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

And and how long ago was that, Danny? How long ago was that? That was eight years ago. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 8:13

So, like, what the hell?

SPEAKER_00 8:15

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 8:15

Yeah, can't even believe it. Like, honestly, it's just like couldn't even imagine the first month because I remember the first few weeks just going, what the fuck have we done? Oh my god. We've got a whole year of this to yeah. I'd I never said I'll I'll never drink again. Um, but I'll never drink again. I'll just nothing in the world could make me change now. Like it's just too life's not perfect without it, but so much better, you know, for every God, as we know in every single way. So yeah, that's kind of it. In a nutshell, that's it.

The Work After Sobriety Begins

SPEAKER_00 8:48

That's so cool. I relate so much to the cringe. Oh my god, don't even go to doom scrolling because that was just the waking up going, oh, I'm scared to look. Um, but I really relate to all of it, and it really is, I've found, a very spiritual journey. So you put the alcohol down and then the work begins. So I guess my question is, how have you got to eight years? Did after that first year you said you did a lot of work on yourselves.

SPEAKER_02 9:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:19

Did that continue?

SPEAKER_02 9:21

Yeah, oh god, yeah, yeah. Well, that was just the beginning. And then from there, like I never intended to start a podcast or anything like that. Um, it was just a continuation of just like just wanting more, wanting more, wanting to learn more, wanting to understand myself more and understanding my thoughts started, you know, after that, like really trying to get to know these thought patterns in particular and and then the emotional patterns that were showing up. And really start, I remember there was one moment Ash and I went to a barbecue and I said to him, Oh, I feel so fucking awkward. I just want to go. And he goes, Yeah, we all feel awkward. He's like, just just you know, it'll pass and then I there was something in that, and I know that sounds pretty simplistic, but then I got really curious about that awkward and wanted to understand that a lot more. So, you know, seeing a therapist, just lots of podcasts, lots of books, just I couldn't just like a sponge, like just lots of yeah, starting to do courses then probably as we went on. And then it's just been this continuum to the point where actually I need to pull back on the study for a while because that I don't know if that's become an addiction. But um, but yeah, just lots of that, just lots of self-inquiry and um not too harsh, not too brutal, but just um gently trying to understand the triggers and the what was lying underneath it all. Yeah, that's awesome. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 10:52

I mean, that's the thing, because we started drinking so early. Well, Meg, you didn't, but Danny, sounds like you and I, yeah, you know, we're so emotionally immature that um we just I mean, once you ditch the booze after 40 years, you've got to actually think, well, who am I?

SPEAKER_02 11:09

Yeah, and that's the scariest thing, isn't it? It's like, oh who am I? Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:14

Because of those labels, you know, the party girl, the um, you know, the the credit that we got from external validation to I mean, I was the Ladette, you're a musician, but either way, it was like I could drink any minor under the table.

SPEAKER_02 11:32

And um that becomes who you would think you are, yeah, that you have to be. Yeah, yeah.

Trauma, Triggers, And Why We Drank

SPEAKER_00 11:37

I I was 18, so I was um older, but I drank purely um for all the reasons that we know, you know, I did um basically external validation. I I didn't like myself, I didn't love myself, I didn't trust myself, I wasn't confident. So drinking became my medication for that. And I guess on the other side of alcohol is getting back to your authentic self, um, really challenging those self-beliefs. I think we all have that in common, you know, alcohol is a self-medication for these things. But I think, yeah, when you're a lot younger, it um well, it's similar to 18. Like I was immature in a way that I hadn't I hadn't been out with boys and things at that age. So I was still having those same awkward encounters.

Admitting Powerlessness And Patterns

SPEAKER_02 12:27

Yeah. Well, it it works, you know. Yeah. I mean, like it does work in those situations where you need that confidence boost, especially when we haven't been taught any other way, that you drink it and then suddenly it's like all that shit and all that noise disappears. And so it works. There's no doubt about that. And that's one thing I would never say that it doesn't work. Eventually it doesn't work, or it's it has a counter-effect. But no wonder, you know, couple that the sh the quieting of the noise, all that dopamine, you know, the kind of everyone else is doing it, no wonder it's so addictive, you know. There's a reason why we got into it in the first place. And I think that's also really important to it without any shaming to understand well, what is that reason? And and um what was I using it for, you know? And that's the kind of um, so I've studied a lot, done a lot in trauma, so I would call myself a trauma-informed cyber coach. So some of the the three keys of that is kind of what happened to you, like what was your upbringing, what was going on for you in your life, and then most importantly, like what did the alcohol do for you? So, like trying to figure that out, like that's probably one of the most pivotal things that we can ask. And then what was it protecting us from? I think those things are really important to get a handle on. It kind of takes the shame and the stigma out rather than just like I'm just this fuck fuck with that can't handle themselves without alcohol. Yeah, once I really got into that stuff, then I was like, whoa, and then I got some real liberation from all the noise and all the stuff. Yeah, it's it's an interesting journey. It's not always like that either. Sometimes it's just pure fucking willpower, and just like yeah, which still to this day, I'm not gonna, you know, there's still days where it's like fuck a drink wouldn't be bad, you know, or you see the white tablecloth and the sun's glistening and yeah, the clinking of glasses, and you're like, ah fuck, you know, but it's gotta you gotta be real with yourself too and go, like I know for you know, and it's funny, I just I just went to Thailand with a really close friend of mine, her name's Lindor. We grew up together, and she ended up in AA. She ended up like AA saved her life. So she was she would have died without it, probably, and she had to have medical intervention to get off the alcohol. Well documented story, happy to talk about it. In fact, you should get her on. But um, anyway, and I it's funny because I went to my first AA meeting with her in in Thailand, and I just said to her, you know what? I've just realized for the first time that alcohol, you know, what's that first step? And we were powerless to control ourselves. And it's the first time I've actually really admitted that to myself, that it did have a power over me that I didn't realise. And um, and that is that I have one and I mostly I can't stop, you know. I just can't stop, you know, as yeah, get the can't we like that, yeah. Yeah, I'm a can't stopper, you know, I'm a fucking can't stopper. And it's not just with alcohol, it's with a lot of things, you know. Yeah, it has been, yeah. So it's that's why also it's really important to understand so that you know, we're not transferring it to study. If I do tip into that, then yeah, I've got to pull up and go, hang on a minute, what's happening here for me right now? Why am I doing this? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:38

Sorry, I waffle on a lot. Hey, we love we love waffling. You know what? I'm um I'm also a trauma-informed sober coach, so I totally believe yes, and I have the study thing, and in fact, yesterday I was looking for more. But um, so I totally hear you. But I just wanted to add that the work, you know, that that people talk about, I get it is so fulfilling. So I don't want people to think it's a scary thing that you have to do this or you know, the work's hard. Yeah, yeah. Uh it it's just so incredible. It's it's really is coming back to your your core self, you know.

SPEAKER_02 16:14

So yeah, it's just kind of sitting in your shit, really, and then just understanding yourself and vulnerable parts of ourselves and just trying to befriend them and understand it, and just there's so many layers to it. There's so many places you can go with it, and totally you can go as deep as you want or or not. But I believe the deeper you go, the more longevity your sobriety will have.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

Yeah, because so I remember you were saying um that we thought that we were extrovert. Yes. Yeah. But now there's the what's the it's a uh yeah. And that's what I've realized, that's what I am. Oh, me too. You know, whereas before, you know, you'd be like, you know, because that's basically the booth. I can so imagine you, Allie. I can so see you.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

It's so funny meeting people that you didn't know as drinkers. Like Ali and I went away last year, we would have been nutters. Yeah. But you know, do you guys get this like being the is it an omnivert? Like I go out and I am extrovert when I'm out. And then the hangover I get, the social hangover, it knocks me down. Like I I'm out for the next day. It's it's the introvert coming out going, whoa.

SPEAKER_02 17:27

Yeah, well, it's very draining on your nervous system. And so if you're also you're probably in a little bit of survival state as well when you're in there, you know, you're on, you're hypervigilant depending on what your background is, and it's exhausting. I'm the same. Yeah, it's just can knock me around. But then sometimes you can do it and you you power through, and it's like, you know, we're so it probably depends on our cycle as well, if I'm honest. Like, I'm that's a whole nother world.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

Well, I think the perimenopause cycle has a lot to do with it, I'll tell you that.

Menopause, Sobriety, And Mental Health

SPEAKER_02 17:54

Oh, I'm yes, it's well, let me tell you this. It's interesting because I'm definitely in that perimenopause phase. I'm 48, and um I I don't know how I'd be handling it if I wasn't sober and having had done a lot of the internal work, like where I can kind of it's funny, I was talking to Ash the sound engineer about it last night because his wife is going through it. Like where you can actually see this, like the thoughts that are coming along, and you can kind of go, that's not me, that's not my thoughts. That's what is that, but still getting totally sucked into it sometimes. Like sometimes I'm like, you know, hating on my husband, I'm on real estate.com and I'm like, why am I here? And then checking in to Ash and the girls for my daily apology, like, hi but imagine if we're drinking through that, like I would not have the the insight at all to be able to, I would have yeah, blown up my relationship for sure.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

Well, yeah, you're speaking my life because I look it coincided with the worst drinking for me, a very, very hard time at work and menopause. And I ended up in with depression, losing weight, and I'm like and when I say losing weight, that can be a good thing, 20 kilos and divorce. Wow. But it's now I can help people going through it, and I can also say if you are before menopause, exactly what you said, Danny, it's a different experience because I put everything, it was easy to put everything down to say menopause and then enable my drinking. Um, but it was really drinking makes it so much bloody worse.

SPEAKER_02 19:31

Like, how long have you been so before? Sorry, your podcast listeners probably know this.

SPEAKER_00 19:35

Uh no, no, um, four years just on New Year's Eve, and I tried before that. Um, so I had, of course, you know, up and downs. But um, yeah, it was kind of like a a midlife crisis. I've never called it that, but everything happened at once, and alcohol was my management tool until it became the worst part of it all.

SPEAKER_02 19:56

So yeah, yeah. Oh, it's so, yeah, totally understand, totally get it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:02

Yeah. And and Allie and I are gonna have some menopause experts on, because on my last podcast we did, and it's so enlightening. I mean, it's it's exciting that it's talked about. Allie and I last week had um a guy called Ashton off Blow Deck. I don't know if you've heard of that show, but he's actually he was a menopause expert, wasn't he, Allie? Yeah, and I'm like he's a coach. He's he's a health and wellness, but it was yeah, sorry, Allie go.

SPEAKER_01 20:30

Yeah, and I was like, uh, because you know he coaches like menopause, and I'm like, yeah, but dude, you're a dude. Uh Ali, if I'm so great. You know, do you have the chin hairs and the muffin top? No.

SPEAKER_00 20:44

He's he's he's kind of the perfect partner though, because he was damn understanding, I'll tell you.

SPEAKER_02 20:49

Yeah, I think I think you can probably ask Ashma husband, but he's probably becoming a metaphors expert himself.

SPEAKER_00 20:56

So different to say our parents' generation because it was it was not talked about.

SPEAKER_02 21:01

Oh, totally, like just having some amazing conversations with women, like it's and it's even going deeper still, you know. Like, you know, as you know, in sobriety, your conversations and connections with people become so much deeper. And now there's this other layer of we can get really honest. Um, I think because in this space too, we're used to fairly honest conversations.

SPEAKER_00 21:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:21

And so now just getting, just having incredible conversations with other women. Um, yeah, we're they're kind of like, yeah, I get it, or you know, like, yeah, I was acting like a total twat as well, and like, you know, just it's the same, it's almost the same, isn't it? No shame. Yeah, Sarah Ruspach as well, she's doing a lot of stuff around menopause as well, um, which is really cool because there's just this whole other world out there that um wow, and and women need support and probably coaching as well, and what a cool thing.

Tools: Breath, Yoga, And Simplicity

SPEAKER_01 21:50

Like, yeah, yeah, and we're all mothers, so you know, like to have the to actually be aware of our emotions now that we don't drink, because I would have been uh you know, on top of drinking stuff, my relationship with my child would have been in the bin because I just would have been that eh fucking just that victim and be just chronically hung over all the time and just you know, just just all of my relationships are just toxic because you're in this world of like you know, and so yeah, now I can sort of you know I've gone through the well, I'm on HRT and all that sort of stuff, but yeah, in general I'm just more patient and understanding and present for my kids and because I don't have a partner, but you know, that's so important that you know just To ditch the booze and then to manage menopause and stuff like that. It that again I wouldn't drink ever again just because the evidence there is everything is so much more um aligned than if you know I was drinking and dropping the ball and just Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 23:02

Well, so many relationships become so toxic, don't they? Like when when we are being so toxic ourselves, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:10

Yeah. And and alcohol cut like we all know that so many of the people we meet on this journey are middle-aged women. And so alcohol becomes kind of a um medication for menopause, and women don't realise that. So it a lot of people whose drinking increased, like mine, coincided with that perimenopause. So being able to actually get the correct help for menopause is so important too. And I was because I was stuck in it for a while, I was um numbing out the physical symptoms. So when I did give up, I was in intense pain. Like it sounds odd, but I had the oddest menopause symptoms. Restless leg, where I couldn't walk for more than five minutes. Like it got that bad, and that was the drinking contributed to that. I thought at one point I wasn't going to be able to walk properly again. Um, you know, but to then be it was really scary, and I just drank that away, you know, because I couldn't sleep. So well, I'll just knock myself out, blackout drunk, you know. And that's that's the exciting thing about this becoming a topic we can talk about because this is the danger of drinking through it. It makes the symptoms worse that can lead to long-term bad issues.

SPEAKER_02 24:21

Oh god, and not only all the health implications of that as well. I've just read, just as well, on topic, but uh Mindy Pelz's book, The Menopause Recet. Oh, and oh my gosh. And so I've been doing a lot of her fasting regime as well, and I'm finding it's really helpful. You know, that in my yoga and everything like that, but um incredible. That's a really incredible resource that I think a lot of women should look at. So that was very interesting. Yeah, I won't go into it, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

I only heard her name literally a couple of weeks ago and wrote it down. I have to check her out because I follow Mary, Dr. Mary Claire. No, I don't know. Obygn in America, she is freaking amazing, and Dr. Stacey Sims.

SPEAKER_02 25:07

Oh, yeah, she's great. Yeah, there was a great podcast with Dr. Mindy Pells and Dr. Sims as well. That was a really interesting podcast because they've got kind of different different views. So that was really cool and they were great. They were fantastic together. Yeah, which is which was really nice. Um I found that on YouTube the other day. Anyway, yeah.

A Guided Breathing Reset

SPEAKER_01 25:25

Yeah, well, I um want to talk about your course because that really, really, really helped put the nail in the coffin for me, Danny. Um that you know, I heard you randomly on a Tuesday afternoon in my car on 720 Perth Radio, and there's you on the radio talking about your um because you just, you know, four and a half years ago, five years ago nearly, it just wasn't talked about. I mean, now we're trailblazing and getting more, there's a lot more um sober movement out there and all that. But back in the day, I mean, eight years ago, there would have been much to go on. So yeah, just talk about so yeah, your course for me was a three-month one, which was amazing. I was very lucky because you don't do that long anymore. No, and yeah, reached out to you and just you know, like bringing down the breaking down the wires on why we drink. So, you know, maybe share how people can find you and what what that it entails with your um your awesome course.

SPEAKER_02 26:36

Oh, thanks, Sally. Um, yeah, look, the course has evolved and changed so much over the years as I have. And um, you know, this this next year I've got one starting, I think like next week, um, depending on when this podcast comes out. And um, I'll probably only do one other one this year and potentially might even start to wrap it up, um, just as life is sort of changing and you know, evolving as we evolve and we do. But I love the course, and um, it's just a whole lot of stuff, like I said, as I've evolved, I've added things into the course that's changed a lot, but um basically the it's really just about kind of learning to understand your whys and the thought patterns behind the drinking and the emotional stuff, like I said earlier, and then learning to regulate yourself, understanding the nervous system, and uh because I I you know I believe that a lot of the drinking is comes from a dysregulated nervous system, as most of the problems in our life, and so just kind of learning to um yeah, to to regulate yourself and just setting up a really good, strong, solid daily practice because these are all the things that got me through and helped me, and so the daily practice was huge for me, it was a big part of my life and still is, and um, so trying to teach people that kind of stuff, you know. I went on throughout um this journey and became a yoga teacher and a breathwork and meditation teacher. Um, and then of course, when I did the year long with Gabul Mate, the CI, Compassionate Inquiry, that was brilliant, it was a beast of a course. Um far out. Oh my god, like just talk about ring your ins, you know, from the inside out and just yeah. Uh anyway, but that was incredible. So a lot of CI, a lot of that kind of um, which is compassionate inquiry, so really inquiring into those things I said before, like um, which is nothing to it's nothing that I've thought up, it's definitely all gabor and the people who influenced him. But um, so that's that kind of you know, what happened to me, what's the alcohol do for me, and what's it protecting me from, and looking through that lens. So that's what really the course is about, but you never know what you're gonna get because I kind of change it up all the time. So yeah, I'm looking forward to this next round, and um yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:52

Yeah, I mean, I over the years have seen, you know, had Reiki and all that sort of stuff, and it all came back to being an asthmatic and just that I was fight or flight, and then when I met you and did your course, it was like how you taught us to uh meditate. And I was like, you know, as you like most of us were like our old for the dirty word meditate, but but what what I learned was simply like follow your breath.

Daily Practices And Somatics

SPEAKER_02 29:24

It's so simple. We don't have to, yeah, yeah, yeah. We can get really uh we can get all the bells and whistles if we want to, and we can get high in our end supply with the breath work if we want, you know, there's so much we can do, but it's a simplicity that um is easy, you know. Ash and I was just lying there this morning doing the Voloma, the three-part breath, and just oh gosh, just feels so good to just land in your own body and your breath and and be with yourself. Um it's so transformative, it can be so simple. But what you said about meditation, I fucking hated it. I hated it and I hated yoga. I only did yoga because my friend Lissy Turner, who's an incredible human, um, and she was sober. She's about maybe she's 12 years now, but she was Mel Mel in the morning on Triple J. I don't know if you remember her, but she had a great, a great segment there on Triple J. And um she went when she went sober. I was like, what? You what? Because we would have monumental, like you know, and she's big partying with Pharrell Williams and Jack Black and you know, like pretty wild stuff. She's got a great story. She went sober, and that was the first person I was like, wow, this is possible, like far. She can do it, bloody hell. Anyway, I digress, but she went and did yoga teacher training, and so I had to go to her yoga classes to support her, and I'd be like, when is this shit going? And then when she'd do the like the meditation, like say at the end, I'd I'd get really annoyed and aggro and she's like, Why is she doing this? Like, she knows I don't like meditation. And sometimes I'd get out and slam the door and walk out. I even went to one of her retreats once and turned up to one of the classes drunk, and she still loved me. But I did, and you know, she'd say to me just very gently, Well, babe, you know, if you hate it so much, it's probably because you probably actually really need it, you know. And um, and and now I love it. Who would have thought?

SPEAKER_01 31:14

You know, just who would have thought?

Courses, Community, And Next Steps

SPEAKER_02 31:16

Oh, you know, it's just the simplicity, you know. Once you s once you simplify things and break it down and into small chunks, it doesn't become so hard. So if you can just sit with your breath, even if you start for a minute, it's so simple, you know. Slow your breath right down, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, even is a really great thing to do. Should we try one together? Yes. Yeah, okay. All right, so let's just get comfortable. And if you're driving, perhaps pull over or do it later, or don't close your eyes. And if it feels comfortable to do so, close your eyes. Otherwise, you can keep them open. It's up to you and just notice your breath first of all. So notice the fact that you're breathing. So watch the in and outflow of the breath. Don't judge it, just observe the breath. And then just seeing if you can breathe in through your nose. We won't put a count on it just for this exercise, but just breathe in through your nose. Yeah, through the house. Congratulations, what a successful meditation. I mean, that's it, right? That's all you have to do. Just start there. And you can expand or or not.

SPEAKER_01 33:22

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 33:23

It's just so easy, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 33:24

I miss that, but you know, it's well, I do that. Yeah, guided meditation. Even that's the good way to start as well. If you're sort of yeah, that's how I obviously with you. And then some nights, if I, you know, you're feeling a bit restless, just put on a guided meditation through insight and woof, off you go.

SPEAKER_02 33:44

It's so good, isn't it? Like, but even that practice there, it's like just arriving to yourself, it's like, oh, hello, oh, there you are. And then it's kind of like a little like it's quicker than a drink.

SPEAKER_00 33:55

Yeah. You know, I I've fought with meditation like you, Danny. I've done courses you over the time because I knew I knew it was something I needed. But I now uh in my trauma course I studied somatics, so I do a lot of breath work as well. But I've settled on simple and short. So I can't do guided still, I don't like it. It partly to do with a bit of restless body parts. Um but the breathing, I've made a habit. So when I hop in the car, I do it. When I go to the bathroom, I do it. So it becomes a subconscious habit. And my anxiety level has a new baseline that's so much lower. So just even the tiniest things contribute. And if I am feeling extra anxious, like when my 16-year-old son goes out at night, I'm a bit more conscious of the breathing exercises I do, but such an amazing tool.

SPEAKER_02 34:45

Oh, it's so it's so good, isn't it? Just that yeah, just just the checking in as well, you know. Like, yeah, if you're feeling, oh, this is one thing, you know, if people are listening to this and they're starting to crave, like whatever it is that you're craving, you know, just feeling into your body, even doing an exercise like that can just kind of bring you back in enough that you can kind of go, okay, what's going on with me? What do I need right now? You know, in this moment, and um, it can stop us from making some really fucking shit decisions.

Slowing Down And What Comes Next

SPEAKER_00 35:13

Absolutely. The space between the yeah, the space between the stimulus and the response. Take a breath. You know, give yourself the time not to react. Yes. An amazing tool. Oh, that's so cool. I love I love the sound of your core. So uh you may be only offering another one or two. So get in, everyone. Where can people find you?

SPEAKER_02 35:35

Um, iQitalcohol.com.au or um Instagram seems to be where everything is happening. Love it or hate it, it's there. Yeah, um yeah, that's that's probably the two ways on my podcast, how I quit alcohol.

SPEAKER_00 35:49

Awesome. And so with the sort of winding up maybe of the course, what are what are your future plans? Can you share something?

SPEAKER_02 35:55

Oh yes, well, um there's just lots of touring. So my husband's a touring musician, and so there's lots of stuff going on in that world at the moment. So um I also help, I'm a co-managed, like in co-management with him. So there's a lot going on and just yeah, kind of doing more things within the music industry as well at the moment, and just kind of just slowing down a little bit. You know, I feel like, have you heard of the running woman syndrome? You know, when as we, you know, that's an incredible, that's a whole nother parametopause, menopause discussion. But you know, as we get into this stage of life, I'm really feeling this pull to want to slow down a little bit and just look after myself now. Like I feel like I've been doing that work and caring for other people for such a long time now that I just feel like it's time for me to slow down a little bit. And there's, you know, there's so many great offerings out there, and you know, it's been I love it, don't get me wrong, but just feeling that just the busyness of life and the busyness of it all is just it's a lot, and so you know, it might not be forever, but just maybe a bit of slowing down, perhaps, and um offering the course.

SPEAKER_01 37:04

The girls, you know, looking after them, they're teenagers. I'm sure that you know they they're a full-time job in a sense, so yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:13

Well, there's 17 and and and 12. But Ash, like we've just got back from Canada, there's lots of international touring happening at the moment, and I you know, I don't want to miss out on that either. Um, so it's just the finding that balance and just just really I just feel this pull. If I'm really honest, I just need to slow down a little bit and come back to myself and not so much output. I feel like now's the time for a bit of of just me and a bit more input there. And so, what's been great though about the the how I could alcohol thing, it's been like hugely successful. It's been great and um met some incredible people, and now just being able to bring in some other people to help me as well, yeah. Um, which has been really great, just having supporting people come in as well, which has been really beautiful and um great, like it's great as well. So we'll see, watch this space. Amazing, but yeah, thank you.

Closing Gratitude And Advice

SPEAKER_01 38:09

Thank you for making the time to you know, in your busy schedule to come on to my our podcast. It's very exciting and thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_02 38:19

No, no, appreciate it, and best of luck with the the podcast, you know. It's such a wild ride. That one, you know, the whole podcast thing, and stick with it and keep going. It's all about consistency and um yeah, just keep it keep it on going.

SPEAKER_00 38:34

Absolutely, we will, won't we, Allie?

SPEAKER_01 38:37

Absolutely, Megzi. Yay! Thanks, Danny. Thanks, ladies.