How Heart Surgery Forced Me to Stop Binge Drinking & Choose Sobriety

Wayne is a FIFO underground gold miner from Western Australia, and his drinking story sounds like a lot of mine site and small-town stories until it doesn’t. He starts young in New Zealand, learns the weekend “outdrink your mates” rhythm, and carries it into shift work, Kalgoorlie pub culture, and the classic cycle of big nights followed by hungover days. Along the way there are blackouts, drink driving consequences, and that weird social credit you get for going harder than everyone else.

Then health forces the truth to the surface. Wayne learns he was born with a heart defect, goes through major heart surgery, and later faces a second operation that leaves him on blood thinners for life. That moment becomes his line in the sand: he does not want to end up where his dad did, and he wants to be present for his partner and kids. We dig into what it’s like to quit when you’ve never had an off switch, why moderation can feel like a trap, and how alcohol-free options can help you stay social without sliding back into old patterns.

We also talk honestly about men, mateship, and the pressure to explain why you’re not drinking, even when you have a medical reason. If you’re navigating FIFO sobriety, mining drinking culture, or you’re simply tired of the loop, this conversation offers a clear message: ditching booze brings freedom, better health, and a calmer home. If it resonates, please rate, follow, and subscribe, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

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Transcript

Meet Wayne And The Big Why

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Today I have a special guest again. I'm on my own, I'm Exy. But I have Wayne from WA Western Australia who's a FIFO dude and he has been alcohol free for he was just saying nearly three years. So I said, Wayne, I need you on my pod. Tell me about your story and all that stuff. So he's kindly come on and um yeah, welcome, Wayne. Say goodbye.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Thank you. Hey, how are you?

SPEAKER_01 0:32

I'm well, how are you?

SPEAKER_00 0:34

Yeah, good, thanks. Good.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

So you're halfway through your time off or yeah, yeah, yep.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Yeah, just about halfway. So lucky working even time.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

And do you do gold mining or is it Yeah, I'm underground, gold mine. Oh, underground, okay. And are you in the Pilgrim? I was just kind of assuming.

SPEAKER_00 0:55

Uh no, uh probably in the I'm in the Murchison at the moment, but I yeah, I have work further up north.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

Yeah, right. I had Jimmy, uh Recovery Jimmy on, and you're my second bloke, but we thought we'd go closer to home because um a lot of my a lot of the guys on here, um, you know, there's just like a lot of women, you know, we all talk about and chat out about sobriety and you know, we go have coffee and all that stuff. But for blokes, I don't know, it just seems like it's a bit of a rite of passage to be a piss head. Let's just myth bust that and um hear a bit about how you what was your drinking style and then what made you uh become alcohol free for three years. So I'll give that over to you. Tell us a little bit about your drinking story.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Yeah, I was I I probably started drinking when I was around 14, 13, 14. Like I grew up in a small town in New Zealand, so it was pretty, pretty standard, you know, growing up in a country town. There's not really a lot to do, and it definitely wasn't frowned upon. You know, like we'd be able to get into the pub when we're sort of 15, 16, and you you're not really gonna get in too much trouble in a town that's only got a couple of thousand people in it. But yeah, everything's pretty hard and fast. You know, you're um almost in like a competition with yourself, I think a lot of the time, and it's just trying to outdo each other every weekend, and then it goes, I suppose goes hand in hand with sport as well, and just about everything else that you do. So it's it's really not that uncommon. Um and then probably yeah, fast forward a few years as it's a bit older, you get into the working life, and yeah, it's standard Thursday, Friday, Saturday, you know, all weekend is when you got half a dozen blokes all living together. And um yeah, eventually I think mum

Growing Up Drinking In Small Towns

SPEAKER_00 2:55

and dad probably saw that I was gonna just stick around town doing the same old, same old as everyone else there. So convinced me to move away, which I I moved further up north and and um got working up there, but uh nothing really changed. I think probably the drinking just got worse. Um and then eventually I ended up moving over to WA to Kalgooli of all places, which isn't gonna help the situation. And um, yeah, it was definitely much more of the same there, six, seven days a week.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

So what were you doing in uh what were you doing in New Zealand to then come over here? Was that um like operator or what were you doing?

SPEAKER_00 3:43

Yeah, yeah, I was a I was a plant operator in in Hawke's Bay. Um when when I in my hometown, I I was working at a timber mill, which I guess is probably pretty dead end if you're not trying to you know get anywhere and it you know, for someone so young, I guess there's not much of a future in it. Um and there's probably a lot of guys in that industry there when I where I was working that were you know having their own issues, and it was the same, you know, like it um, you know, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, always on the piss, you know, come Monday, it's just hung over Monday, Tuesday, and as the week chirped up, then it's you know, payday comes along and it's much more of the same again. So um, yeah, I think especially my dad probably saw what was going to happen if I stayed there. Um, and he got me a job up north, and then I was just I was a plant operator there in Hawke's Bay. Yeah, it was a good I mean it was a good place and good people, good company to work for, but yet again, you seem to um attract more of what you're doing, and you know your your circle of friends might change, but they're the same type of friends as you had before.

SPEAKER_01 4:55

Um, and was your dad and was your dad a bit of a drinker or not at all, not at all.

SPEAKER_00 5:01

That's it's funny. My yeah, my dad didn't drink at all.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 5:06

He used to drink when he was younger, and I think it's funny now. Like I I think I've probably turned out a little bit like him, but and now I think in hindsight you can see why.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

Um yeah, it just that I think he saw the the downside of drinking. Yeah, he worked as a bouncer in Hawke's Bay in his early 20s, and so you're always gonna see the the worst of it rather than the best of it. Um yeah, and I I think he just didn't want that want that for me. So um, yeah, it eventually I moved away and um the drinking got worse. In fact, I actually I I got done for drink driving when I was in Hawke's Bay. So, you know, I think that it was you would think um that that'd probably make me taper off, but instead that just made things worse because I don't have to drive anywhere now.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

I lost my the last time I lost my license, mate, was in Kalgooli in 1998. And I was driving back from the nightclub with a stubby between my legs at you know, three o'clock in the morning. I could see my house, and you know, I just lied to the geologist and said, Oh mate, my landlord said I can't park the youth there anymore. Can you drive me to work? And he fucking believed me, yeah. You know, and then I literally from court went straight to the pub. And that was my third offense. So you know, it's anyway.

SPEAKER_00 6:34

It it it it's scary to think because what what was actually happening before I um got done was I would go back to my hometown on the weekends to catch up with everyone and I'd be drinking while I'm on my way there, you know, after I work because I work shift work, and I think that was probably uh um that was another thing is working shift work, you know, while everyone else is at work on a Tuesday or Wednesday or whatever. I'm at home by myself, so what else am I gonna do? Yeah, I mean it's not not an excuse, but it doesn't take long before you sort of, oh well, it's 12 o'clock, we're gonna head down to the pub and you know, off you go. Yeah, you sort of think nothing of it. Um and I'm I'm I am glad that I probably got done for drink driving when I did, because I think that probably helped help slow me down a little bit.

unknown 7:25

Right.

SPEAKER_00 7:25

I never stopped though. I didn't, you know, obviously the drinking carried on, um, not having to drive anywhere, so I have to worry about being over the limit. And I actually had a baby on the way at the time, so yeah, which uh I got my license back two weeks before my oldest son was born. Jeez. So I got it, yeah. And and you'd think you'd think I probably would have slowed down then too, but that that didn't stop. Um and it I mean I wouldn't say I I was an alcoholic by any means, but I definitely didn't know when to hit the off switch.

SPEAKER_02 7:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

Or you know, the difference between a social couple and going out and getting blind, it was either all or nothing. And um yeah, it it took a long time to figure that out. Fast forward a couple of years and I I moved made the decision to uh move to Oz where I had family and I'd family in Kalgoole of all places, and literally a couple hours after I got off the plane, it was you know, we're off to the pub with friends from back home. So um and that was two, probably two and a half years of much the same. Um probably like I I met my partner, Renee, there, and um, you know, everything was good, like we would party and whatnot, and you know, have having a good time just like everyone else. And we both at that time worked Monday to Friday in town, so I think it was pretty social to be drinking in Cal. Same old stuff, you know, beers on a Friday at the workshop, you know, then roll into Saturday, Saturday rolls into Sunday, and then yeah, just the mess come Monday for the next three days of the week before it starts all over again. There's probably been a lot of times in Cal as well where I'd just go out for a couple of beers on Friday afternoon, and I just wouldn't come home you know, well and truly until daylight's up on Saturday morning. You know, how how my partner put up with it, I don't know. Um there's even time. So you like one New Year's in particular, we've gone out for beers at lunch, and I wake up the next morning wondering what we did that night, and we actually hadn't done anything, I was out cold by seven o'clock. Oh shit. You know, I could probably laugh about it now, but I don't think anyone was laughing at the time.

SPEAKER_01 9:39

Yeah, but everyone, I mean, it's the same though, Wayne. Like everyone's got such a short memory when it comes to like, but also there's it's a short memory of you know, you blackout, you pass out, then you wake up, and it's kind of like I'm sure when you went to work on Monday, you get credit

Escalation And Drink Driving Reality

SPEAKER_01 9:55

for, you know, oh mate, I went out and fucking got back and don't know what I did, or I just and you would you get credit for being, you know, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:05

Yeah, besides besides I suppose getting grilled and uh by my partner, and yeah, um, there's really yeah, no no one's telling you otherwise that you shouldn't be doing it. And it's um it's more of a you know, not only are you in competition with everyone else that you're working with or going out drinking with, it's uh just another war story for the weekend and and off you go again. Um you know, sooner or later you do get sick of it, but it takes a while.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

Who is your role model though? You know, but who would be your role model to like go internally? You're probably thinking, fuck, I've got shit and I want to stop. But you know, what bloke can you go say, hey mate, I feel like I'm drinking too much because I mean, if you're like me, you just hung around the same type of drinker.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

Yeah, yeah, and that that's exactly what happened. And I I mean, I've I've like I say, I I don't think I was an alcoholic, but I definitely had a problem, yeah, and it and it was a big problem, but it it probably was you know, to everyone that I'm out drinking with or um going to the pub with, and I'm just someone else having a good time, and I'm the fun guy to hang around and you know, look at how much he can drink, but that gets old pretty quick. Um well, obviously not quick enough though. Um and then you know, eventually after uh Kalgoy, we relocated back down to Perth, uh, where my partner grew up, and um and I've gone FIFO at that point, and it's the same, much of the same, you know, you you're away, so when you come home, you've got all this time off. Um originally I was two and one, so you got you know, two or three days where you can just go out and get on the piss, and then after that, you know, it's a couple of days tidying the house and getting back to work to do it all over again.

SPEAKER_02 11:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

Or you've uh you know, two and one, you've got shift change halfway through, so it's just everyone trying to get through that first week, so you can have a few beers halfway through. Um, but you soon, I suppose, come to the realization that uh, you know, it I've seen plenty of people lose their jobs over drinking too much, but it doesn't stop them. Yeah, and then there's always someone else at another side, or you know, and it really at the end of the day it's a pretty expensive six-pack when you're getting sacked for blind numbers. But yeah, it's a little bit harder, especially for blokes when it's um so well advertised or glamorized. It's uh you know, every sport, every direction you look at, it's there, it's all targeted as having an innocent few beers, but it yeah, it never ever pans out like that.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

Yeah, not too, you know, especially like some um just even just the way our DNA is, it's not it's not us, it's actually the alcohol. And you know, if you if you were the person that has when you first had it, like I'm sure you've got friends that like I went to school with friends and then they never ended up like a heavy drinker like me. They were on a, they were like, oh yeah, they could take it or leave it. And you know, I think it's just that um how it made you feel when you first drank is usually set up to the way you'll drink in the future. And for me, it was just like, you know, I got that that full-on effect, like, oh, I could do anything and I felt confident. Whereas some people didn't get that, and they were the ones that eventually when we grew up, they could they just never had an issue. Whereas for me, I just it was just on from the start. And that's also, you know, in sobriety learning about what the effects of alcohol with different types of you know, body types and personalities, it's quite fascinating, but it really just comes down to the it's the alcohol, but yeah, it doesn't help that um, you know, it's we've just had Mother's Day and it's like all on the fucking pajamas and it's all mummy needs the one and it's just blokes as well, like uh VB ads, you know, cracking can and Marlborough cigarette, like it's all there, yeah. Yeah, and probably showing my age, but yeah, it's not helpful.

SPEAKER_00 14:23

Yeah, um, you know, for me it was the amount that I could drink. I've always been able to drink people generally, especially when I was younger, would be impressed about how much I could drink. So then you I think you're just out trying to be the life of the party. And the problem with that is the amount only got bigger.

SPEAKER_02 14:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

You know, whereas um we're going out camping and I'm putting away 30 cans on a night and camping, and you know, like I'm I'm not pissed.

SPEAKER_02 14:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:53

And it's just, you know, and I think the alarm bell should have been ringing then. But uh yeah, I think I'm probably lucky. So fast forward like 2021, I had um I had heart surgery. I found out I had a a birth defect. So I actually had a valve replacement. Um and you would think that would stop me drinking then, but the bonus of having the valve replacement, having an artificial valve put in was that I didn't need to be on blood tumors. So within a couple of months of getting out of hospital, I'm back drinking again.

SPEAKER_01 15:30

Um you know, how did you find hang on, hang on, how did you work out that you need had it uh had a heart? What was the symptoms of that? Like what happened?

SPEAKER_00 15:42

So my father actually passed away when I was 25, um pretty young, like before he was 60. Um, and he had heart failure. So I had a few issues that I was getting like um I'd get gout on the regular and I would just put it down to dehydration because I was working at the working in the Kimberley at the time, and um well I thought the doctor was gonna tell me that you need to stop drinking, but when he said no, no, it's because you dehydrated all the time, oh that's fine, I'll keep drinking. Yeah, you know, fair bump play on. Um and it turns out like I gotta ended up having to see another doctor about something else, and she said, Oh, this you've got all these risk factors, your father died young, let's just investigate what's what's going on. Um, and so she looked into it. There was uh I had a blip on a ECG and she said, No, you you need to really go and look into this. And they found out that I was born with a bicusper day order, so that's when you've got a leaflet missing in your heart. So basically, my heart's been leaking my whole life, right up until that point. Um, how it hadn't reared its head, or you know, worse, before then, no one knows. Um, so I guess you could say I was luckily unlucky.

SPEAKER_02 16:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:01

They uh yeah, my my daughter was only

Kalgoorlie Nights And FIFO Drinking Culture

SPEAKER_00 17:05

shit three years old at the time. So I had to go and yeah, have that, they have open heart surgery. Um it was in I was off work for three months pretty knackered um while my partner's holding down the fort and working at the same time. And then yeah, eventually I get back to work and slowly but surely start drinking again. Um wouldn't say off the rails drinking, but I probably just shouldn't have been drinking at all. Um and then within two years of having that done, I find that the patch that they put in my heart had failed. So I had to repeat the process and have a uh metal valve put in this time. Which was me being on blood thinners for the rest of my life.

SPEAKER_02 17:57

Right.

SPEAKER_00 17:57

Um which is I mean, like even now I could have a beer if I wanted to. Um but one thing with blood thinners is that it works your kidneys and your liver. And um it's just better if I don't, and I just decided there and then that I don't want to end up where my dad ended up. You know, with uh I just remember my sister was my sister's a couple years younger than me, and he's missed out on seeing all her kids, missed out on um our kids here. So you miss out on a lot, and I I just didn't want that to be me. So that that was my main driver for stopping drinking.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

And can I ask, mate, how old you were when you had your second heart operation?

SPEAKER_00 18:47

Uh yeah, 20 34 35. Gee, you is so yeah, yeah, not not old at all.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

Um and also can I can I ask after either of those operations, did any doctor say to you, you know, how much are you drinking, or maybe you shouldn't drink? Like, did anyone even ask about that?

SPEAKER_00 19:14

Yeah, I mean um like on the regular that ask, you know, how much you're drinking, and you sort of play it, you're you'll always play it down. You know, I think they'd be gobsmacked if I told them the truth. Um, I mean, they were pretty shocked that I didn't feel um worse than I did when they found out my heart was knackered. He said, you know, if we didn't find this now, you're about two years away from having a catastrophic heart attack that you wouldn't have come back from. Um I even said to my partner, oh geez, you know, I'm I'm I'm lucky I never ended up in a box when I was in New Zealand. And and she said, What about when we were in Kalgooli? Like, you know, just like two-day penders. Um I'm just lucky, you know, someone must have been watching because theoretically I should be in a pine box.

SPEAKER_02 20:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

Um and I just I probably did feel crappy, but because I was hung over and feeling crappy all the time, it's just standard. Um, and the thing is up up there too, like in the Kimberley we were working, it was just work hard, play hard. Like I don't I'm I'm not gonna knock anyone for having a beer or anything like that. It's just I personally can't, you know, like I I don't have an off switch, so it's yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:32

Yeah, so that second operation, is that when you decided did you start drinking again or did from that operation?

SPEAKER_00 20:42

I haven't had a drink since then.

SPEAKER_01 20:44

Yeah. And when was that?

SPEAKER_00 20:47

Yeah, yeah, August 20, so 2023, August 2023. And um I can honestly say hand on art that I I don't miss it.

SPEAKER_02 20:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:59

I think it just took something like that to be the catalyst to to stop. Like there'd been times in past where I'd stop for a month here or three months there, and um, but I'd always end up back drinking. Um but yeah, now I I just think there's just way too much going on in my life, and and everyone else relies on me um to be drinking, like it's just not worth it. A hundred percent it takes you not drinking to figure out that you can be social without it. Um and it I mean, definitely with two young kids, it's a lot easier chasing around after them when I'm not hung over.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

Um yeah, it's and what do you tell people?

SPEAKER_01 21:47

Like, is this like do you think it's easier because you've had the art thing to say to people, like to stop them in their tracks? Like, mate, I don't drink because you know, do you find you have to explain yourself?

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Still, yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't that suck and even and even even then, um, you know, like people, oh, you know, I'm on blood thinners too, and yeah, that's fine. Like it, you know, each to their own. I don't I don't hold it against anyone if they want to drink or anything like that. That's you know, that's up to you. It's a personal choice, but I just know for me, the simple fact is that I can't go out and have a drink and just enjoy myself. Like my partner, you know, she had a couple of wines for Mother's Day, deservedly so. Um and she can quite happily sit there and have a couple of wines. Um I can't. Yeah, you know, and and that's fine. Like I'm probably I probably feel a lot better than I than I can admit that. Um and I I I I probably probably in the last 12 months I'm trying to be more social than I had been, like for the last 12 months. I just wouldn't go anywhere and just yeah, just say no. It's um it was a lot easier.

SPEAKER_02 22:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

But yeah, definitely the the heart surgery definitely helps. Um but yeah, like I I've got two young kids to worry about at home.

SPEAKER_02 23:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:11

They rely on me more, you know, and it's a lot easier, it's a lot better being a sober dad, I think, than a hungover one.

SPEAKER_01 23:17

Oh, totally. You're just more present, and you know, you can drive. I mean, I'm sure your partner, I mean, my ex-husband and I mean, we were both party parents. I've got a 21-year-old daughter, and um, you know, I mean, I have to do a bit of self-forgiveness, but you know, just um, fuck mate. Just we just, you know, just we're both immature and stuff, but sh she, you know, now for me, five years over. Um, but those times on the netball court, you know, Fridays were my night. And oh my god, like fucking Saturday mornings, you know, the whistles blowing and it was eight o'clock in the morning, and uh, I just would rather be anywhere else but, but you know, still cheering and stuff, but everything was done with a freaking hangover. Um, you know, and it's just just uh, and we couldn't give up for our child. It took us, and that's the the other message is you know, you can't give it away for anyone

The Heart Defect That Changed Everything

SPEAKER_01 24:20

else but yourself, right? You know, if you've just got to put yourself forward and just think, you know, if you if you guys are on blood thinners or if you can just have one, then that's fine. But for me and for you, you know, we were just we get the can't stops. And yeah, you've just got to shut the door, slam, slam the door shut to like not even try and moderate because that was a head fucking itself.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

Yeah, and it's like full credit to people that can drink a moderation.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

Oh, totally. But I mean, even now though, well, it but really, Wayne, really, even now, would you want to be a normal drinker? Like what does it get? Like, what do you get out of it?

SPEAKER_00 25:01

Yeah, I think the other thing too is with all your um non-alcoholic options now, it's a lot easier. Yeah, a lot easier because I like I have it had someone say one day, you know, I don't drink beer for the taste. And it was like, Well, I did. I actually like a beer, um, and so being able to drink craft beers with no alcohol on them is definitely a big win. Yeah, but even then that's like a special occasion thing to try and be social, otherwise you stand out like a swarm, yeah. Um but yeah, um my full credit goes to my partner more than anything else for having to put up with the crap that she put up with for so long. Um, there's definitely been a few moments that I'm not proud of. Um and probably more with the kids too. Like I you become more aware they see everything. Yeah, and it's it's funny because they're not gonna have to grow up with uh it's not like I have to, but they're not gonna have to grow up seeing that. And I'm happy about that. Like like my partner said this morning, we've probably got a few photos, but uh that you know we can laugh about them now.

SPEAKER_02 26:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:12

You know, if it had a carried on, I don't really don't it's not it's not cute. It's just not yeah, it's not cute.

SPEAKER_01 26:20

Like, you know, it's being a freaking 30-something or a 40-something or 50-something year old, you know, pisshead, it's not cute. And most of the relationships, they just eventually they just you know, they just get blown up by booze. And I just think, you know, my my ex um and and even for myself, you know, I put alcohol before myself, let alone before my kid and my marriage. Like we just, you know, it that was my crutch. I didn't know how to do life without alcohol, right? And then until you, you know, you do it for yourself, which I have, and I've um seen the light, which is why you know, just want to shout it to the rooftops, hey, because we feel so bloody good, and how proud your kids are and how proud you are for yourself, man.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

Yeah, I I think the one thing I thought this morning too was that you know it really didn't matter what kind of situation we were in or what was going on, always seemed to have money for booze. Oh and it was like, how did how did that happen? I don't but you make it happen. Um yeah, I I don't really regret that at all. I'm quite happy to be in the headspace that I'm in and with my family, and we're good. And we've I think probably the hardest thing is navigating all the we've had a lot going on in our lives um outside that, probably since drinking. I actually my oldest son who lives in New Zealand actually had leukemia last year. Um, on top of everything else, there's that too. And I think you know, your immediate reaction is fuck, I could really go a stiff drink right now. Um, and then instantly I thought, well, is that what's that gonna solve? It's not gonna it's gonna make me feel better for about five seconds, and it's not gonna put me in any state that he needs me to be in.

SPEAKER_02 28:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

Um so yeah, it's really just not required.

SPEAKER_02 28:25

It's not because it just compounds.

SPEAKER_00 28:29

Yeah. I think the hard the hardest thing with the for anyone that is an alcoholic, it's probably gonna be the worst addiction out there because it's it's everywhere, yeah, and it's not frowned upon and it's it's legal. Yeah, you know, it's not like it's hidden. Yeah, so you can't you know, and especially I love footy, you know, you're watching the footy on the weekend, it's advertised every 10 minutes. Yeah, it's um you know, and but that's just the world we live in. Um I don't yeah. I think for everyone that can, like I say, can drink in moderation and have a good time, you know, good on them, but yeah, I'm I'm happy where I'm at.

SPEAKER_01 29:09

No, that's awesome, mate. And you know, it's it's just uh for your own, you know, backyard, which is all that we all gotta worry about as well, is that you know, how your kids are just so lucky to have um a dad that's not um you know, oh, you know, because I just remember like, you know, I'd just be, oh mummy, can you read me a story? And I'd be thinking, oh fuck sakes, you know, scum my wine, go in. It's all everything was hurry, because it's like I was resenting this is my time, you know, and I'm just like so grateful that like I had a vi I had a a um real go viral purely because they thought I was topless. And I've taken it down honestly, and I've taken it down, and also because I used the word cone, because my trifecta was smoking cigarettes, smoking pot, and drinking piss, right? That was my trifecta. So anyway, I did it, it went viral. And the comments were um, and then then another one that I've did, which was mowing the lawn after work. And it's so funny how people just like, oh yeah, mate, but I'd mow the lawn. It's best to mow the lawn pissed and stone. And it's like one, like, wait on my page, but two, I did that for 40 years, and it's actually for me, you'd you'd mow the lawn and do all that, and then you just get blackout drunk, and then in the morning you wake up feeling like shit. So really, yeah, but that's fucking boring. Yeah, like when you strip it away, like yeah, it's pretty sad.

SPEAKER_00 30:46

It is as long as you're on the other side of it looking back, you know, totally you know, like what a waste of fucking time.

SPEAKER_01 30:54

Yeah, and that's it. And did you ever hear the message? Sorry, did you ever hear the don't trust anyone that doesn't drink?

SPEAKER_00 31:02

Oh yeah, yeah. And then then then there's the followed by the other liar that's oh, you know, just come for one, or just keep just come for a couple, and you know, I everyone knows that's not happening. Yeah, the fucking ever goes to the pub for one, yeah, exactly. Yeah, and and I think it like I've got good friends and and we're all still friends now, people that I've grown up with, but they're in that cycle where they're then they're not gonna stop drinking, and it's just is what it is. Like until you want to stop drinking, or you want to put everything, like you've got to put everyone else for yourself, I think, to be able to do it. But like you say, you've got to want to do it for yourself first. Um and I'll I don't know, I'll I'll defend it until the cows come home. I don't um I don't regret it one bit.

SPEAKER_01 31:53

I think exactly whoever

Choosing Alcohol Free After Surgery

SPEAKER_01 31:55

says whoever says I regret drinking.

SPEAKER_03 31:59

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:59

Sorry, hang on, I regret I I can't remember what I'm yeah, so like you know, it's just like no, and I'm sure, you know, I've heard along the grapevine May X has joined AA, you know, like um finally something's gone on for him, and yet again, like he we couldn't give it up for anyone else but yourself, but it's got to a point in his life, obviously, where that's you know, AA is a helpful tool. Um, you know, other other than being just a dry drunk, which is which was kind of what he was, you know, you've got to actually then do the work. Like, do you read books now, or do you, you know, how do you just yeah?

SPEAKER_00 32:44

Well, I was always an avid reader, and um that's one thing I've definitely dove into now. But in the last and so the last 12 months, I've my partner and have been on a massive health kick, and we've collectively lost nearly 60 kilos between us.

SPEAKER_01 32:59

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 33:00

And that's just you know, whatever I can do to be better for especially my kids, like I want them to be able to aim, you know, look at me and aim up, yeah, not um not look at me and think fuck, you know, all they did was get on the piss. Yeah, that that I think that's my worst nightmare. And I don't I'm glad that I've probably pulled the pin now than in 10 years' time when they're teenagers and um because it's you know it comes back to the same old do as I say, not as I do.

SPEAKER_02 33:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:31

Um but I think like my dad didn't drink, and they I don't know, it certainly didn't really sort of discourage us away from drinking because I think it was a more of if you're having a few beers around here with your friends, at least we can keep an eye on you. And and in small country towns, like it what else are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_02 33:52

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

And and we just we didn't really get into too much trouble. Um but it just builds that uh I don't know, ethos that you can just go out and get fike eyed every weekend.

SPEAKER_02 34:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:07

And you know, I'd be horrified if my kids were doing what I was doing at that age.

SPEAKER_02 34:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:12

But I think it was thought of a lot differently back then as well.

SPEAKER_02 34:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:17

Um we've got a lot more information at hand, you know, in our hand.

SPEAKER_02 34:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 34:23

You know, if you want to know anything, you can Google it, but the facts are there that it's just it's not good for you. It doesn't do it, there's no benefit to it. Uh, besides using it as a cleaning product.

SPEAKER_01 34:35

Yeah, and also when I quit drinking, I didn't realise because I was a smoker, I everyone you it you know, smoking was the you know is the number one carcinogen. Well, actually, alcohol is, and I had no idea. And you know, breast cancer, prostate cancer for men, um you know, the list goes on when you actually realize you know how shit it is for you, and um even just having one or two drinks uh every so often, it's actually really not good for you. So again, like you know, I was in complete and utter denial. Like I I, as I said, I was in mining and I I left mining because they were bringing in that Mark Star, which was like a drug and alcohol system back because I'm pretty old, it was back in the early mid-90s. And um I left it because I thought, fuck you, I don't I don't how can you determine how when smoking pot, obviously we it does stay in your system. And in those days, all it was was a urine sample. But you know, my thing was, well, if you drug test me while I'm on site, that's fair enough. But on your time off, that's where I got the shits on because it's like the first thing I'd want to do get off the plane was have a buck a bong and drink a carton. Like that was my looking forward to getting off the plane. I ran along the tarmac just to get fucking wasted. But you know, and so I left. And it's just like, oh my gosh, you know, you just want to shake it. But it again, it it was just like everyone that I hung around me. I was a laddette, I did landscaping, like I could drink men under the table, I played pool, I drove trucks, I've got on my motorbike, like you know, that was my credit, but it was also my credit was to to drink pistol better than the next bloke. Um, so you know, but thankfully, I mean, I've been five years sober, and thankfully, you know, like imagine if I gave up freaking 20 years ago, I'd look like I was 15 again. Because it's like, oh wow, you look good. And I'm thinking, yeah, I wish I had thought about that, you know, because it does age you and it makes you redder and fatter and puffier, and you just eat shit, and you're just constantly headachey and you're in the cycle. In the cycle, that freaking loop cycle.

SPEAKER_00 37:09

Um so yeah, I it it's the thing too, like I used to be a heavy smoker, and every time I quit smoking, I'd drink more, and then eventually you just start smoking again, and you're just going round and round and round, and you know, I'd I'd dust two packets of 25s in a night out drinking.

SPEAKER_01 37:30

Plenty of yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:33

So it's just I definitely didn't do anything by halves. Yeah, but I you know, everyone will say, Oh, just come down, you know, you can have one or two, and I was like, why? I'm I'm in credit, well and truly, you know. I've dodged enough bullets. It's just yeah, I'll like I say, I'm happy in my space and yeah, I'll stay happy.

SPEAKER_01 37:55

Well, do they have um alcohol-free options at the wet mess up there? Yeah, they do.

SPEAKER_00 38:03

Yeah, yeah. It's um a little bit cold this time of year to be sitting around in a wedding for um for an alcohol-free beer though. Yeah, but yeah, we um we had the cyclone roll through uh a couple

Sober Dad Life And Getting Healthier

SPEAKER_00 38:15

swings ago, and we all got the night off because they shut everything down. And I went down there with a coffee, and you know, you get a get a few um few side eyes and a few questions, but yeah, I think everyone's probably got sick of asking by now.

SPEAKER_01 38:29

Yeah, so uh we lost you there for a minute, but um it's great that you know the the mind sites are you know giving the option of alcohol free.

SPEAKER_00 38:44

Um and you know, I don't know, do you notice guys drinking it or yeah, probably probably not um yeah, probably not as much as I'd like to say that I'm I'm glad that they're still stocked, but I don't yeah, I'm not really. Um last side I was at, if they had uh like they'd have uh vent inners and stuff, they'd always stock them in the mess as well, which was good. Um but yeah, I think it's you're either gonna be down at the whey or you're not. Um I think most people are are pretty stuck in their ways as far as that goes. And I mean, after a day at work, sometimes it is good to sit down and have a couple and and and vent, but you also run the gauntlet if you're in if you're like myself, where you just sit there and drink and drink and drink till you're at your limit, um, and then you know the next day you're sort of tossing a coin whether you're gonna blow numbers or not. Um and I mean that only luckily when I first started mining, that happened to me. Um it ended up with the first and final. And my supervisor at the time, he he just said, he goes, Look, I'm not even gonna get up yet about it. Like you just you you won at a million, it does the same thing. Um he said, but at the end of the day, you come here to work and you've come to work, you've blind numbers, you don't get paid for the day. Now you've got to explain to your partner why you didn't get paid for the day. And he said, That that's you know, that's a conversation for you to have, and um, but next time you'd be down the road. And I was smart enough to know that hey, that's a pretty expensive couple of beers.

SPEAKER_02 40:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:21

So yeah, um but I I think people are sort of coming around to the idea. It's probably taken a while, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:31

Coming around to the idea that alcohol shit Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:36

Yeah, but even like alcohol-free options are uh that are better, and um that you know, like it you don't have to be drinking to be social. I know you know it but it's just so commonplace. It's pretty hard to change, and when people are making so much money off of why would you?

SPEAKER_01 40:57

Yeah. Couldn't agree more, Wayne. Well, I reckon um, you know, what an awesome story, and um, you know, like as I said, I really um don't I don't always want to focus, I'm not about you know, men and women, the alcohol journey of giving it away. I just want everyone to fucking do it. But I just for me in my life, um, you know, it it for me, my role models were always in my messaging was always they'd rather drink than hang out with me. Yeah, you know, and obviously that's a male version. So, you know, that's why I wanted to get you on because women seem to tend to, you know, we'll go have coffees, we'll go do the Pilates, or we're kind of more proactive in our social engagements. Whereas men, you know, if it's if you're not into golf, um, if you're not into the gym, but you're into the pub, they're your three options type of thing. And it's not like, hey buddy, let's go walk the dog and have a chat. It's just not um encouraged enough or modelled enough, really, because it's you know, real men don't eat quiche. Like, you know, it's just all this bullshit stuff. So, you know, as a FIFO dude and a and a dad, you know, I really appreciate you um taking the courage to come on and um toot the alcohol-free horn.

SPEAKER_00 42:30

No, thank you. Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_01 42:32

Oh mate, I was just like, come on! Because, you know, we we are swimming upstream, aren't we?

SPEAKER_00 42:40

Yeah, I yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 42:42

Just every fucker drinks, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:45

And and like you say, it is pretty hard socially, you know. I probably don't help myself as much as I should have, but um it, you know, like you say, that's okay. I think sometimes you're better off just you're being a loner and doing the right thing than um you know just trying to fit in with the crowd. And it's yeah, it's funny because it's a message that you drive home to your kids, but then you've got to live it yourself.

SPEAKER_01 43:11

Yeah, but you know, it takes time. I mean, three years, um, you know, it's it's that's the thing. It's not a race, it's not a competition. As long as you don't drink, then fucking sit at home with the kids instead of as you say, sitting in a pub and then you're coming home to you know, the hell. So no, it I mean, it took me a while to I play the drums and it took I had to give things pause things. Just you're just putting it on pause. And now, as you're saying, you're getting the you know, you're putting your big boy pants on, you're like, all right, let's go out tonight, you know. And you know, that's okay, don't be hard on yourself. As long as you're protecting your sobriety, then um, yeah, that's yeah. I just think uh important thing.

SPEAKER_00 44:03

I definitely owe my partner a few uh nights being the sober driver, so you know, she she's definitely got a free pass there.

Non Alcoholic Options On Site

SPEAKER_01 44:10

Shit, yeah. The amount of arguments is like you drive, no, you drive two heavy drinkers living together like fucking no chance. Ubers, Ubers were our bloody um oh god, or running, you know, doing the drive at 10 o'clock at night, holding your breath. Hopefully, you're not bloody gonna get pulled over. Yeah, it's all of that. We don't you don't have to worry about it. It's so freeing. It's just so freeing. Hey.

SPEAKER_00 44:38

The last thing I want to do is be the dad rocking up at school thinking, oh fuck, he he smells like booze.

SPEAKER_01 44:44

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 44:45

That is my worst, absolute worst nightmare.

SPEAKER_01 44:48

So, you know, whatever I can portray for them is a good thing. You're doing well.

SPEAKER_00 44:54

They're very lucky.

SPEAKER_01 44:56

Very, very lucky to have you, Wayne. And so do misses and um, you know, your family. I mean, let's say you're doing you're doing uh yeah, ditch the booze and it brings you freedom. Yeah, definitely. You know, until people get to that get that messaging, then um they're just stuck in the loop. But that's all cool. There's no judgment, just maybe just tell people to get curious, eh?

SPEAKER_00 45:23

Yeah, definitely, definitely. Um, I think some people, you know, if they're willing to ask the question, they'll find out sooner or later. Um hopefully sooner rather than later.

SPEAKER_01 45:33

And you know, when this goes out, this episode goes out. In fact, don't forget to rate, subscribe to the show. And also, I forgot to ask you, when was the last time you laughed without lager?

SPEAKER_00 45:47

Oh, all the time. There's a barrel of laughs around here. Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely. Um, I think probably part of my drinking was the problem was that um I've always been the class clown, so you know it didn't take long to figure out that I didn't need the booze to still be cracking jokes.

SPEAKER_01 46:04

So exactly, I love that. Oh, that's awesome. Well, you can share the episode when it comes out to all your FIFO buddies and get them on board. Um, all right, thanks for your time, Wayne. I will um yeah, let you know what when it comes out. And uh yeah, please rate and follow and subscribe, and we'll catch you later.

SPEAKER_00 46:31

Awesome, thank you.