Breaking The Nightly Habit: Now 11 Years Alcohol Free with Kari

Wine can sneak into your life wearing a friendly mask: playdates, dinner prep, “just one glass,” a reward for getting through the day. Kari doesn’t sugarcoat what happened when that mask slipped. She shares how drinking started young, followed her through a messy college era, and later threaded itself into motherhood and remarriage until it became an every-night habit she couldn’t outthink or “moderate” her way out of.

We get into the moment that finally changed her trajectory: getting seriously sick after mixing alcohol with medication, then realizing she still went right back to drinking. Instead of waiting for a bigger disaster, Kari took a small but powerful step a 60 day fitness challenge with one personal rule written on a wall for everyone to see. That decision turned into a year, then into 11 years alcohol free. Along the way, she navigated the first sober Christmases, birthdays, vacations, and the uncomfortable social phase when people don’t know how to drink around you.

Kari also connects sobriety to women’s health in midlife, especially perimenopause and menopause. We talk about how alcohol can amplify symptoms like poor sleep, headaches, fatigue, and weight gain, and why quitting often makes other healthy habits finally “stick.” She shares what changed in her friendships, how she shows up more patiently for her kids and grandkids, and what her strength training, walking, nutrition, and sleep routine looks like now.

If you’ve been curious from the sidelines, this conversation offers honesty without judgment and a roadmap built on real life, not perfection. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review telling us what part of Kari’s story hit home for you.

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https://www.meganwebb.com.au/podcast-1

meganwebbcoaching@gmail.com

Ali

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Meg

website:  https://www.meganwebb.com.au/

insta: https://www.instagram.com/meganwebbcoaching/

Connect AF: https://www.elizaparkinson.com/groupcoaching

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:42

Welcome to laughter that louder. Again, I'm on my own. I don't have magazine here. So I'm flying solo with a lovely lady called Carrie, and she is all the way in Texas. So welcome and thank you for getting up early, Carrie.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Thank you for having me. It was my pleasure. I'm an early bird. So this worked out great for me. Thanks for working with my schedule.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

It's 5 30 a.m. in Texas. You've got it. You got it. And it's 6 30 in Australia Perth time. So isn't the Wide

Meeting Across Time Zones

SPEAKER_01 1:23

World Web amazing?

SPEAKER_00 1:26

It really is. I've been so excited about connecting with somebody in Australia. And I just can't tell you, I love your accent. I love Australian accents. They're just the best.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

Oh, thank you. Do you know anyone in Australia?

SPEAKER_00 1:39

I do not, and I've never been. My husband's been to Australia and loved it. Um, but I have never been. And you're my you're my first friend in Australia.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

Oh, well, thank you. And why did you not go with your husband to Australia?

SPEAKER_00 1:54

We weren't married at the time. It was prior to me marrying him. So um yeah, so I I didn't know him.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Fair enough. Fair enough. We'll let him off the hawk then.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

Yes, yes. He's taken me other nice places since then.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

Well, yeah, so I invited you on Carrie, because you are a a whiz, you're a you know, fit us lady. Um who's you know a mum, and yeah, you've been sober now a decade. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_00 2:26

It'll be 11 years in August. Eleven years in October.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Either way, that is amazing. So tell us how's it going? What you know, what what led you to become alcohol free?

SPEAKER_00 2:45

Alcohol free. Well, you know, I had the typical

Early Drinking And A Messy Marriage

SPEAKER_00 2:48

probably beginning with alcohol, like a lot of people do. Started at 17 experimenting with, you know, with alcohol, um, into college. It was messy. It led to so many just bad decisions. I married my college boyfriend who was also a messy drinker. Um, we then moved into having, uh, and you know, when we got married, that was when I kind of started to mature. I kind of took a little bit of a step towards, you know, not drinking quite as much, thinking, you know, I mean, I was in a different phase of life, and then we had a baby, and then that really, you know, I was, I'm not gonna quit, but I'm definitely gonna slow it down. And um, you know, I've got a a baby to take care of now. And but my my husband was not on the same page as me, and he didn't want to slow it down. And so then that really forced me to even more become the adult and become, you know, somebody needed to be the driver. So, so I was able to kind of put a little bit, I didn't stop completely drinking, but I was able to put a little bit of a better boundary on it than I had had prior to. And my decision making wasn't as poor anymore. I wasn't feeling like I was putting myself or anybody in danger anymore. Um, and then um uh then that marriage didn't work out. We ended up divorcing. He ended up just um, you know, I he really needed to be an AA and he would start it and and not finish it. And it just, you know, the lies and the it was just it was very, it was very, it was like, why would you stay in a relationship like that? It was so broken and so miserable, and we weren't together anyways. I was doing all the heavy lifting anyways, so we ended up parting as friends. I always say Brian shouldn't say his name, but he was he was a great friend, but he was a really miserable husband just because he had a really severe drinking problem. And um, so anyways, so I went on then to be a single mom, owned a couple of businesses, and um during that time that also I I I that kept me in check a little bit with my drinking during that time, also because I needed to show up to work. I owned two gymbree franchises, which are play centers for children and their parents, developmental play centers. So I was showing up and had parents and babies coming in, and I could not be showing up with a hangover. Um, and then I also, of course, had my daughter that I was caring for mostly by myself.

Single Mom Life And Keeping It Together

SPEAKER_00 5:17

And um, but I would, you know, when I had my time away from my daughter, I would cut loose and with my friends, and those bad habits would, they were still there. They were just in check a little bit more during those early years of motherhood. And then I met my husband now, um, Jeff, who um I would say just super responsible, super stable. Um, he um was, I would call a moderate drinker. He was somebody that could give or take a drink. Um, because one thing I had known about myself early on was that I'm not a one glass of wine person, not a one beer person. Like I'm just not. Like I've always looked at those people and thought, wow, that's impressive. Because and I even I say I'm gonna do it, I don't. Um, but Jeff was kind of that kind of a guy. Like he could have one and walk away from it. Um, however, I pulled him into my web because as we got more comfortable, you know, we were blending families also. Jeff was a widower and he had a son. Um, who then because Jeff was a widower, um, Zach became my full-time son. And then we were, I had my daughter, so we were blending a family, you know, newly married, and um drinking started coming back into my life. My life, my stress level had eased up a little bit in the outside world as far as work. I didn't feel I could let loose a little bit because I had somebody else helping me. And so therefore, I let the wine start coming back in. And um I would say, you know, Jeff had he worked late, so I would

Wine Culture And Risky Normalization

SPEAKER_00 6:51

start drinking like around the homework hour with the two kids, you know, and dinner making when it would start to get stressful. And then Jeff would come home and we would drink, you know, a couple more glasses of wine together. So I was it became and it became a habit. It became like it was a habit. It was every night. And if I I would say I'm gonna quit and you know, tomorrow I'm not gonna do this, and I didn't have wine, but I would end up driving down and getting wine because I wanted, I I just I could not overcome that. It was it was a habit, it was ingrained. And um let's see, uh, you know, and it never kept me from doing my life. Like I was still working part-time and I still was going to the gym, and I would still, but I just felt like crud. Like I just, it was like, why would somebody do that to themselves? But I didn't know, I didn't know any different, and it was a crutch. It was something that I just felt I needed. And then I was kind of this was about 2000 and what would it be about 2000, 2000, 2001. And I think this is when that whole mommy needs her sippy cup kind of during play dates kind of started coming in. And play dates became for me with the kids, um the mommies would drink wine at these play dates. And um, and it became very, it was very normal to do that. And now I see those memes and like the little funny quotes, you know, about mommy needs her wine, or I'll see so I'll see a really great quote every once in a while, and I'm like, that's a great quote. And then the woman has like a glass of wine or something, and you know, you know, feeling stressed, drink. I just it makes me cringe because I'm just like, you don't know, you don't know what you don't know. But anyway, so I drank my way through play dates. I am embarrassed to say, I mean, I look back now and I just think by the grace of God, I was able to get home and not have any kind of tragedy or arrest happen because I am quite certain that many a times I drove over the legal limit with my children in the car. Um and um so anyway, so that was happening, still going about my life. Then we had our a third, we had a child together, so we had a third baby. The habits were still continuing at this point. Um let's see, what else? I'm trying to think.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

Um, did you if that in that business of you in a daycare thing, did you have wine on the menu? Did you think, well, I'm gonna, you know, if everyone's drinking wine on the play date, come to my place and no, no, not at work.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

Jimboree is a franchise, and that was like, I mean, that would have been it was so it wasn't really a uh no, that was definitely people would come in for like a 45-minute class. So that was a very structured class that I was teaching them. Um, we were using play equipment and songs and musical instruments and things. So it wasn't as much like going to my girlfriend's house and sitting around and while the kids crawled around us and and drinking wine. No, this there was there was no room for for that. So no, that was that would have happened afterwards. Well, yes, yes, absolutely. Meet me at the restaurant. Yeah. Um, so anyway, so um, so so I would so so things were just messy, and there was one time, so so there was so so now the my grown kids are kind of grown. My youngest is eight years younger than my middle child. And um it's summertime. It's summertime right right in like well, about 11 years ago. And um, I had was on a medication, and I was my Jeff was out making ribs, and it was gonna be a lovely Saturday afternoon. And um, I started drinking alcohol, kind of a harder alcohol, and it mixed really poorly with this medication that I was on, and I got so sick, and I remember just feeling so bad thinking, I will never do this again, but right back at it, like right the next day, like right right back at it. And um then, so I was working out at this gym called the Bar Method and taking classes there very regularly.

The Wake Up Call And Urgent Care

SPEAKER_00 11:13

It was a wonderful community of women. Bar method, we use a bar, we used lightweights, lots of um isometric kind of work for an hour class. I was just irregular there, I just loved it. And they were running a challenge, they were running a challenge um called the 60-day um see how many classes you can get in within 60 days. And then you had to pick a personal goal for yourself and write it on a piece of paper and tape it to the wall. And I thought, this is it coming off that weekend where I was just I ended up in the urgent care. I was so sick from that alcohol and drug combination, um, and that yet continued to drink. And I thought, I am not, I'm gonna commit to no wine during this. So I wrote it on the wall and put it on the wall with my name on it. And nobody would have known if I had not followed through, but I would have known, and there was just something about seeing that on the wall. And so I stuck with it. I wouldn't say I had to white and knuckle it, um, but I missed it. I had to like forfeit in, you know, my fizzy drinks and I allowed myself a little bit more dessert than normal. Because here's the thing, too. Like, you know, here I was, I was working out and doing all this work, but I look back at pictures of myself and I was puffy, I was swollen, my skin didn't look good. I may have weighed less then, but you know what? I looked

The 60 Day Challenge That Stuck

SPEAKER_00 12:33

poorly, like I did not look good. And um I thought I looked good, but looking back now, the difference is just, you know, even I'm 11 years older, but it's just the alcohol just tears you down. So um I was committed to doing this, drinking my fizzy drinks instead. I think Jeff did not commit to it with me. He never has, he's again remained a moderate drinker, and I am fine with that. And I do, you know, I don't want to get too far off subject here. But so I carried through with the 60 days of no drinking. And that kind of took me right up to Christmas, I think. And then so then it so then entered and I felt so good. I just am like, I'm gonna keep this going and let's do this for a year. And so then it was all those firsts, you know, getting through Christmas, through New Year's, Valentine's Day, birthdays, vacations, getting through all those things. But with every time that I did it, I'm like, I can do this. And it felt so empowering, and I just felt so good because that was like you know, Christmas. I can remember like one Christmas that really sticks out for me too, like Christmas Eve, just drinking so much. And you know, as a mom, you do so much work to get ready for those holidays. And then Christmas morning, I was so hungover and so miserable. And I'm just sitting on the couch

Holidays Sober And Stacking Wins

SPEAKER_00 13:46

with the worst headache, trying drinking coffee, which tasted horrible, but I needed something. And I just didn't even get to enjoy the Christmas. So here now, sober, doing all these holidays, it just is like, as I know you've shared, like I've heard you talk about it, like it just opens up, like you're just like your eyes are just opened to like what it feels like to live and to live a holiday well. Um, so then, you know, one year turned to two years, to three years, to four years, to now almost 11 years. And, you know, the one thing too that was interesting, you know, during that time was, you know, how am I gonna navigate friendships and what is that gonna look like? Because I do find that people are used to it now. And I will say my circle of friends has definitely narrowed now. I don't get invited to do people just know to invite Carrie to go coffee or walk or maybe lunch, but really not dinner, and um and definitely not drinks. And so, and and then, but it but there was that uncomfortable stage where you're dining with people and they and then they feel uncomfortable having a drink, and you don't want them to feel uncomfortable. So, so Jeff has continued to drink, and that's you know, but again, like one, like he can go out to dinner and have one glass, but I don't care, like I don't miss it. I just feel like I sit there and I just know I can drive us home safely,

Friendships Change When You Quit

SPEAKER_00 15:07

and I can I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and be and feel good, and I'm gonna stick to my like, you know, I'm very strict with my diet and my exercise routine. I my wake-up time, my sleep's very important to me. The other thing during that time, um right around the time that I was starting, that I joined that challenge, that 60-day challenge, is I went into perimenopause. And you know, I feel like so many women blame, I believe perimenopause and menopause is so real. Like, don't get me wrong. Like, I know those symptoms, but I think they are exasperated, if that's a word. I think they are they are exaggerated by alcohol. I mean, you know, poor sleep, yeah, alcohol's gonna do that to you. Weight gain, yeah, alcohol's gonna do that, headaches, yes, alcohol's gonna do that to you. So I was having all those symptoms and tacking on the alcohol, and I just wish I had known sooner. And this is what I just tell women now. I'm like, oh

Perimenopause Symptoms And Alcohol’s Role

SPEAKER_00 16:10

my gosh, like I don't want to ever preach to them. You need to get rid of the alcohol, but you're not doing yourself any favor. You know, you you're doing all these other things to take care of yourself, but then you pour in the poison, and it's just it it like it smears out everything. So that was so I wish I had gone through perimenopause, menopause alcohol-free, because it would have, I think, really been so much, so much better. Um, but then so, you know, so 11 years later, I'm now a mom of three adult children. My youngest is now 21. I'm a grandma to one, a Gigi to one, and another one on the way. And, you know, and that's just something like I'm I'm so happy about too, because I do feel like I did catch it with my children and being an example to them. I do feel like my older two definitely saw us drink. Um, but I don't think it it made as big of an impression, like a permanent impression on them. Because my oldest daughter went away to college, she experimented with alcohol, and she does not, she's can't maybe if she goes to a wedding, she'll have a drink. My son, same thing, just kind of could give or take. My youngest, she grew up the most with me, like, you know, um, alcohol-free. And she turned 21, which I know you had a daughter that turned 21 recently, too. Um, she turned 21, and it was really a strange thing because we took, she didn't want to go out to bars with her friends or anything. She honestly, people say, Oh, Carrie, you're kidding yourself if you think she hasn't, but she did not have an alcoholic drink prior to turning 21. And even at that, we were sitting in a restaurant and I was like so torn because I'm like, we were like, Ella, you have to have like a little champagne or something. But then I was like, does she like does she have this? But does she, but we need the picture, you know, does she want and well she looked back and wished she so she took like a little sip of it, but she I'm just so happy. Like she just so my so my point is like my kids have seen kind of me and heard me talk about it and the benefits of of not being a drinker. And I think that that I think we I I'm thankful that I was able to reel that in because and now my grandchildren, like I'm so thankful, like they're never gonna smell alcohol in my breath. And you know, I'm you know, if my kids, there's no because that was the thing too, you know, with drinking and raising kids, is that like if they had soccer practice, I'd be like, oh, so irritated, like I couldn't start drinking until I got home. Or, you know, if if if somebody needed to ride a carpal, I would try and be the person to drop off so that the other mom would bring home. And that's just so much racket going on. It's pathetic. And with with Ella, I was the mom that was always able to do whatever. Like and she was a competitive dancer, and we would go away to go to conventions, and you know, there was lots of moms that would, you know, the hotel bars and you know, would be drinking. And I just thought, you know, those

Parenting Present And Breaking The Pattern

SPEAKER_00 19:04

early morning calls to get them downstairs and get hair done and being just being present for your child, like you know, like if I was drinking like I had been drinking before, I would not have been. I would have been so, oh, it would have been miserable trying to deal with a child's hair screaming. That's not right. Ah, you know, so I was always impatient, yes. I would, but so with so with Ella, I was able to be that mom, and that felt really good. And I feel like for my grandchildren, I'll be able to be that grandma too. I won't be like if that we you know, if I'm asked to babysit, yes, it won't be like, no, it's gonna mess up with my Saturday night wine.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

Um I mean, we're getting to that age too, where it's just not cute to be going out to I mean, I'm single, I'm in a different stage in a sense, you know. Like I am an older lady, but I I'm single, so you know it's like how am I gonna make somebody drinking?

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Isn't that terrible? I know the the things that are sad, you know, that you know to encourage alcohol to make alcohol drinkers seem like the ones that are winning. It's just terrible. It's just terrible. It's terrible.

SPEAKER_01 22:17

Well, I probably wouldn't have met them anyway, because I'd be thinking, no, no, no, you're a dog, or you know, you're a nerd because you know, I uh partying like me, and it's like, oh bless you know I agree.

SPEAKER_00 22:32

The kids had a swim teacher once who um I thought was just she was just an adorable lady and I really admired her, and I found out that she was. didn't drink. And I just was always so in awe of her. And I would see her like at weddings or at social occasions. And I just and I would always think of her the next day after things when I was hung over. I think Dee Dee's feeling great today, you know, and I just because there weren't many, I do think we are trending towards, and I feel so proud to be a front runner in that, you know, like it just feels good to be to have to have gotten that behind me and to just because once you experience it, there really is just no going back. I think every once in a while, would I like to have a glass of champagne? And I'm like, no, for one, I don't, I just, I guess there is that part of me that that addictive part of me that feels like I just don't want to chance that any chance of backsliding. But then there's also just like, no, like that just will not make me feel good. And it takes me out of just being this super 100% in my body present person at all times, you know, just able to deal with life because life is hard enough when you feel good. And when you feel like crud, like it's miserable. So I do think we are trending this way. I think there are, you know, I think I think women are catching on. Um, but I'm I'm glad I'm already on the on the train.

SPEAKER_01 24:03

Yeah, same, Carrie. And I think also kids are too, because I don't know about America, but um Australia's it's so expensive. Alcohol's taxed very heavily. And so a lot

The Line In The Sand Decision

SPEAKER_01 24:18

of kids preload before they go to the bars. Um but because security's so tight and you know, like I guess we in our era we had a lot of a lot less rules around, you know, come home and it's dark. Um you know, we were active, there was no screens, there was no, you know, I'm thankful as well for to be born raised, you know, born in 1970 because we just you know, just didn't have to deal with screens. You literally played at the school, that was your playground until dark. So I think that um that freedom, but also back then it was all very cheap, you know, cigarettes were cheap. Uh the the rules around you know, you can smoke on a plane, um the messaging was, you know, smoking's good for you, red wine is good for your heart. Guinness, people brought Guinness into the hospital because it was iron. Like, you know, they were doing it all the way. Oh, yeah. That was the Australian, you know, yeah, have a Guinness for iron, and red wine was good for your heart. And you know, so now though, with my daughter turning 21 in Australia, the legal age is 18 years old that they can drink. Um, but thankfully for her, um, she's not I mean, she did, I must admit, she did get drunk on her birthday. Um, but again, it wasn't with my help, you know. I would have been the mum that would have been, yeah, let's go party. It would have all revolved around drinking and the champagne. And it would have been a bit for me, really, at the end of the day. But just that um messaging, like, yeah, you're 21, you've got to, you know, skull those big picture pie things for the boys, like oh, just you know, look, um I'm just as I say now we've seen the light, wear trail blazers, and also I I think I became sober before I was through you know through the menopause. So again, I think that was a catalyst as well for you know, there's always waking up feeling like a crud,

Fitness Routines After Quitting Alcohol

SPEAKER_01 26:41

but then it does get worse with the perimenopause. And I think thankfully, it just got too to the point where it was just like, is the juice worth the squeeze?

SPEAKER_00 26:54

Oh, that's good. I like that. And no, it's not, it is not.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

It's bloody not when you're waking up with you can't even lift your head off the pillow, and it's just like another wasted day. But what? A night.

SPEAKER_00 27:09

I know. Yeah, that was the thing too, is I would, you know, I'd get up, you know, get the kids to school, I would, you know, go work out, and then honestly, on the days that I could get away with it, I would come home and go back to bed. I would like set an alarm and sleep until it was time to go pick up the kids. Wasting away my life. I mean, I look back on that again. I believe everything happens for a reason, and that all had to happen to make me who I am today. And and now, like us to be able to, when women are ready, if they want to hear my story, I can share it with them and and and how much better I feel now. But I just think it makes me sad that those were some really great years of my life that I lost and I slept away physically and mentally, um, just because it just it it was it was so such a waste of life.

SPEAKER_01 28:01

It is. Hey, and then as you say, the more you know the Christmases sober, um, that's tricky because over here it's um you know, hot, hot, very hot. So of course the the the pool and the drinks. Um, but I don't know, just um my I think the more that just in my family and certain friends and what you were saying, I totally resonate with the you know, the the group of friends does get smaller, but I can pretty much imagine that uh they're more authentic. And I think I would rather five friends than ten friends that we just sit around and gossip and drink with because that's a very small world. Um you know, I've got back to friends from high school who weren't like me, who weren't just loved alcohol and just did that for the next 40 years that were the you know the tepid drinkers, and now you know, again, yeah, we go for lunch, not so many dinner dates. Um you know what, it's okay. I like my pajamas and I like to wake up in that routine and there's no fear of missing out because at the end of the day, it's like what am I missing out on? Waking up full of shame and regret and hung over. What am I missing out on? You really strip it back, you know. I'd rather sit at home in my pajamas and ring a girlfriend, have a cup of tea.

SPEAKER_00 29:38

You know, 100%. I'm a big tea drinker. Because yeah, I mean, they're finding too these days, sleep is so important. I mean, some people are even rating, you know, it's like you know, nutrition, and then they're saying sleep is right there before movement, before hydration, you know, like sleep is so important. And when you, I mean, you just you have to, you're that's when your body heals from anything and everything, not just the alcohol

Belly Laughs And Where To Find Carrie

SPEAKER_00 30:02

you're trying to process. But yeah, so just imagine you're trying to, you know, get a good night's sleep, and and you've got your body, that's when your body is supposed to be healing itself because you're not digesting food, you're at rest. And now it's the liver, everything's processing this poison in there. I mean, just there was no restful sleep in that. So yeah, I'm much more an evening in my pajamas. I mean, I I am just such a habitual routine person right now. I always was. People used to laugh at me, even you know, back in the days, you know, you have your kids bathing in their pajamas, and but again, it was kind of selfish because the quicker I got them through their things, I could start drinking my wine. Um, but I always have had that tendency. But nowadays it's those those habits are just very health, geared towards health and feeling good. And man, yes, it does really and it feels good to just talking to you, just it just feels good to to talk to people who get it, who understand it, and um and can really kind of just make sure you feel that you're on the right path.

SPEAKER_01 31:05

Yeah, exactly. You know, absolutely, because we are trailblazers, we are swimming upstream. Um, but again, you know, it doesn't matter. I mean, it's it's you cannot you can't give it away for anyone but yourself. And you know, you've had a marriage breakdown because he was a drinker, same thing. I mean, I was we were both massive drinkers, but he was uh a bit more uh depressing. And you know, just um you have to you can only do it until you can't. And I think um once you you know, thankfully menopause or perimenopause or whatever it was, just the feelings of just sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. It was just that um enough of uh that edge. And now it's funny because you know, people are actually like Allie? Allie Burke doesn't drink like literally in my DMs, you know, there's a couple of people, I won't mention them, but they're very curious and they're watching from the sidelines because there's something in the back of your mind that you know deep down you don't want to do it, you don't want to feel like that, you don't want to come home like I used to come home and we're actually tired because we had a crap sleep, right? So what do we do with a drink? So you think oh, and then you perk up because that's what alcohol does, and then you're back into that shit sleep. Um whereas now, like the other day, if I'm tired, I'm actually tired and I'm I'm okay lying on the couch or having a nananat or going to bed earlier instead of overriding that tiredness and just pouring oh, I know what will pert me up, some champagne or a vodka or you know, some Coke, like as in Coca-Cola, not um the drug Coke, but you know, um, and it was just that false um economy. But you and I we didn't know that you know, you feel like shit, and then get the kids and answer that 20 minutes that's what we're chasing, and and then that sleep, and oh, it's so great to be able to go, geez, I'm tired. I'm actually gonna not feel guilty because I'm not hungover. I'm just gonna go bloody lie down. I listen to the body.

SPEAKER_00 33:33

Yes, yes, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 33:36

Yeah, it been down there.

SPEAKER_00 33:39

You were saying that you know the women who are curious and kind of listening to you, and you know, there's something in the back of their mind. And I know those the women who walked this before me, I was I just I couldn't get my hands on that's why I love your podcast because I just couldn't, I wanted to hear other women. How did they do it? Like, what were their tricks? Like, and there really is no trick, it's just really just doing it, like it's just deciding, stepping over that line. I had somebody tell me about something else in my life. Well, it was about my marriage that broke up, but he's it was it was a counselor, and he said, You know, Carrie, it's you have to draw a line in the sand and you have to step over and you don't go back. And I always just kind of pictured like a sandy volleyball court and like drawing a line in the sand and stepping. It's the same thing with that, you know, with quitting alcohol. Like you I was always curious and I wanted curious and about other women who had done this and how they did it, and wanted to know everything I could. Um, and I gleaned a lot of information from them. I just really believe we need to share our stories because I believe we learn so much from each other, like on everything, and there's no gatekeeping. Um, but you you learn what you can, you listen, you get inspired by other women, and then you have to draw your line in the sand and you have to step over and you just say, I'm not going back. I'm not going back that way, that that not taking that road anymore.

SPEAKER_01 34:59

That's yeah, and and yeah, and just um, you know, not say it's a year. It's just, I mean, you know, one day at a time, even. Um, but just get curious. I sort of say 90 days, um, because a month, you know, when you do the dry July's or the sober October, it's just great. But you're just starting to feel like you know, you're just starting and then you're oh yeah, yeah, I'm done it. I'm not a I'm not an alcoholic, and I'll crack another drink, and you're straight back into not even moderation, it's a it's a fairy. And um yeah, so then it's it's that um you'd need to give yourself a bit more, you know, time than a month. Um and just say to yourself, you know, like it's also yeah, once you do your first of um, you know, a Christmas, like I mean the other thing when I was with my marriage, it was um, you know, dry July. It was one of our drinking friends' birthdays. And every year I'd be like, dry July. Everyone, what do you want to do that for? And then he'd be like, Oh, well, you know, because we drink too much and I feel like shit. And then the person would be like, Well, it's my birthday, we can't. And of course, meeting the people plays it. I was like, Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 36:23

Oh, you know, isn't that that and that's the truth too? Like, if there's always a thing, there's always something coming up. If you say there's always then that's the same thing with, you know, I I work with women who you know with with with nutrition, you know, it's like, oh, but my yeah, my birthday's coming, we're going on vacation. It's like, okay, if you can do this on your birthday, and you can do this on vacation, and both of those are gonna feel so much better. But again, you don't know what you don't know. And but yes, you're right. I think 30 days is not enough, and 90 days is is really great. And then what happens is you just feel so good that you start then stacking other habits on top of that. It's like you you kind of start building this wall, and then this wall of all these healthy habits gets built, and you're like, oh, I to pour back in alcohol on that would just diminish all of that because alcohol just ruins all of that. It just like you know, a sand castle that you build and you pour it on the water on it just makes it all because it just ruins everything.

SPEAKER_01 37:20

Yeah. And we just romanticize it, it's just like you know, toxic boyfriend, and it's just like, oh babes, come back, you know, one more time, and you're like, oh um, unless you've got good boundaries, which I'm learnt. Um, you just go, no, sorry, we're done. And there's just no crack. It's just no, we're done. And like now, I mean, look, five years, eleven years for you. You know, I say to some people when they it's funny when they say that when you say that you're sober, they're all like, Oh, you only drink on the weekend. Oh, you know, I don't drink too much, and it's like it's all good, mate. Like, I'm not here to judge that, but uh I say to that, I can drink, I choose not to.

SPEAKER_00 38:04

Amen. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 38:06

Amen. Like I can go to the freaking bottle shop right now, people. I choose not to, because why the hell would I? It's a yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:15

That's a really good that's that's a great mindset for people to take away, I think, like what you just said, is that you can do it if you want to. Like nobody's stopping you, it's a choice, and it's again, it's that empowerment. Like I, you know, that people just and when you have that empowerment, that trickles out into other areas of your life also. Like when you start that the alcohol, quitting alcohol for me just started so many, it opened so many doors and got me into so many rooms that I wouldn't have gotten into for one, because I felt like crud, my mind wasn't working, my body wasn't working, and my soul wasn't working. And you know, so it's like what you say, it's it's a choice, it's a choice, and it's a choice that I've said it, you know but it just spills over into so many areas in your life that you just don't want to, you don't want to go back on that choice.

SPEAKER_01 39:00

You just nothing would ever get me back to that. Pouring a drink in the glass and thinking I'm a winner. I just nothing would get me to that. So we better um go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 39:14

No, no, you can't go so I heard you say that the other day, you know, like you're like, I I was I I I was listening to one of your other podcasts, and I think somebody had said, you know, I will never go back. And I was just really thinking about that. Like, you know, when you really think about that, like you know, I always like a lot of things in my life I say never say never. But that is one area that I really do feel in my gut, like it is a it is a never because I've certainly in 11 years, I've certainly had many opportunities. And you're right, like they do glamorize it. You watch the movies, and you know, they show you know the women you know out or you know, opening a bottle of wine and pouring it and lifting it. And I was never a cigarette smoker, but even the cigarette smoking looks romanticized in the movie. Um but it's it's but then we need more we need more of us to be showing the real life, you know. The movie, the real life when we need to show like how good you feel and how good it how good it feels to feel good.

SPEAKER_01 40:09

Yeah, a hundred percent. So, what do you do for your um your a fitness well-being coach?

SPEAKER_00 40:19

Now what I am doing, I you know there's all the buzz nowadays about strength training for women and how important it is. So that has really become like a big thing for me is just to strength train. I do, I do do, I use a a fitness platform that provides for me my nutrition and my workouts. And I work out from home now. Um and I find that that has just really helped me. Consistency is a really big thing for me, and that's one of my habits and routines. And working out from home has really allowed me to be consistent because like I already worked out before this chat with you. I kind of wanted to shake off any like, you know, nerves or anything from from getting on a Zoom and dealing with all the technology. Um, but I can do that like at 4:30 in the morning because I do it at home. So I do I make I do HIIT workouts twice a week, I strength train three times a week, and then I do active recoveries, which are either like a yoga or a Pilates or a mobility. And I just find it's a really nice, really well-rounded, you know. I'm not, you know, I'm not, I'm not striving anymore for the skinny. I'm going for the strong.

SPEAKER_01 41:22

I'm 58 on the 59 years old. Wow. Well, you got some guns on you, Carrie. Well, thank you very much. Look at cheek, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 41:34

So that's what I do. Couldn't have done it back in the day, all that. And again, even though I was working out, like I said, like my whole body composition was just different when you have that alcohol in you. I don't, I, I'm, I'm not, I'm not puffy. Like I was just always I look at pictures and I just look so puffy, and my skin didn't look good. My hair just it it was just bad. So so that's so that's my fitness routine. And I'm real good about nutrition. I kind of believe like in an 80-20, like, you know, 80% of the time, like, you know, I'm really pretty clean, and then I enjoy my cake on the weekends. And um, and I do always fall back on too, like sometimes like if I splurge a little bit more than normal, and then I'm like, but you know what, you're not drinking alcohol, Carrie. Like, you know what? So so what? Like you're not pouring that in there, too. So I mean, imagine like so so I'm pretty tight with all that. And again, my sleep is real important to me. I love to walk. I get out and I try to walk every day. I find that that is just so I know you're a big walker too. Just mental clarity is just is found when I'm out walking. I I solve so many problems on my walks.

SPEAKER_01 42:37

Uh amen as well to that. Yeah, absolutely. I went to the beach today, I left my chihuahuas at home. It really, I had mother guilt for about a second, and then I'm like, no, I'm just going to let the wind in the hair and sat down without worrying if there was anyone else around, because I've got a reactive dog. Um, and just took that time for myself. Um and then came home and you know, sorted out the admin and the house, and then yeah, got ready for you. So well, thank you so so much. I've really, really enjoyed um our our chat. Hey, also I forgot to mention um what is the when was the last time you laughed without lager?

SPEAKER_00 43:28

Well, you know, that's funny. I I'm not an easily laugh person. I'm not somebody that it takes a lot to make me laugh. But do you know that my grandbaby, she is 15 months old, and she makes me gut laugh. Like she just she the other day she was doing something, she was cracking herself up, is what it was. And then the more I would laugh at her, the more she would. So it just kind of got this thing going back and forth. And uh no alcohol needed, just pure, innocent, not breathing any kind of alcoholic fumes on her, and um, you know, fully present in the moment, not trying to get home for any wine and just enjoying her laughing and her laughing at me. So so my grandbaby, she is she makes me laugh. And and most recently, that was my biggest belly laugh.

SPEAKER_01 44:18

Oh, that's gorgeous. I love that. So make sure everyone that you you subscribe and uh hit the follow. You can get us on Spotify and all other platforms. And um, yeah, again, you can where can people find you, Carrie?

SPEAKER_00 44:38

Oh, that's nice of you to ask. Um, if you want to find me, you can find me on Instagram, it's probably the best place. And I go by I will carry you. I will K-A-R-I-U-O-Y-O-U. So that's where I'm at on Instagram. I will carry you.

SPEAKER_01 44:54

Okay, and I'll we'll link that in the show notes for people to hit the um follow button and watch you do your bloody strength training and you're an inspiration. And I'll yeah, I I don't know, my back's a bit funny, so I kind of I've got to um I'm seeing a physio that nobody needs to know about my um ailments, but no, I enjoy watching your as I say, you got some guns on you, as they say.

SPEAKER_00 45:23

Well, thank you. I want to be able to always lift my luggage by myself. I want to live an independent life. I want to live a long life and I want to live it independently. There's no sense in living a long life if you can't, you know, if you have to have other people taking care of you. So that's one of my my my reasons for wanting to be strong mentally and physically, is just to be able to care for myself and not be a burden to anybody else for as long as possible.

SPEAKER_01 45:46

Absolutely. And then you well, you can put the baby on one hand, one arm, and the stroller on the other. I mean, good to go.

SPEAKER_00 45:54

I can. I I can I can I can manage it. I do say my I feel like my daughter feels pretty proud of me, and she feels like I'm pretty capable of taking care of her babies because I think she sees me taking good care of myself. So it makes me feel good that she feels confident that I can physically take care of them for her. Okay, you take care of your friend.

SPEAKER_01 46:15

Yeah, you take.

SPEAKER_00 46:16

It always takes me a while to hang up from these things. Okay. Bye, Allie.

SPEAKER_01 46:23

Bye.