SHE Asked Podcast

The Moth and the Transformative Power of Storytelling

• Anna McBride • Season 1 • Episode 3

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After a surprise breakup and a modeling offer that asked her to hide her stretch marks, Anna shares the raw truth of what it means to bloom. This story from The Moth is about growth, self-worth, and choosing yourself—no matter the cost. 

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Speaker 1:

Hi everybody, welcome to the she Asked podcast with Anna McBride, where we explore the power of storytelling rewriting our narratives to change our lives. So excited to be able to share with you something that's near and dear to my heart, that is, the actual art of storytelling. I want to share with you about a community that I get to participate in. It's called the Moth Storytelling and they are a New York-based program that's now gone international. It's basically like an open mic night for storytellers. They take their program into the schools and community, but where I intersect with them is that I actually get up on stage and get to tell stories. The way their events work is that they partnership with local venues comedy centers, restaurants, bars that happen to have a stage and an ability to have a lot of people in the audience. And as a storyteller, I choose which venue I want to go participate in and I always choose one that happens to have a topic, because Moth chooses the topics that are hosted at different locations and I pick the locations that have a topic that resonate with me.

Speaker 1:

The storyteller writes a story. It can't be more than six minutes, so that equates to about 900 words a short essay and the story has to be true meaning about you and has to be truly that it happened. It has to be on topic and no more than six minutes. Most recently, I got up on stage and told a story that the topic was called Blooming, which was about the idea of growth. Where in your life had you experienced some growth? Where in your life had you experienced some growth? And I went to this venue, which was in Brooklyn, and you have to actually fill out a form, put your name in a hat, and they only picked 10 storytellers. I got picked. I was the third one to get up on stage.

Speaker 1:

The story I told was about two situations that I experienced recently that gave me an opportunity to see where I've grown. I said that by the time you get to my age, it would be easy for me to think that I've learned all the hard lessons in life, that I could just sail right into the golden years knowing that the hard parts were behind me and that life would just be easy. Not true? Lots of bumps still to be had by this person. Most recently, last fall, met and fell in love with someone and thought things were going well. I thought I had healed from the marriage that I got out of seven years ago. It was a very emotionally abusive marriage that I was in for 36 years and when it ended I spent quite a bit of time working on my self-esteem, my codependency and other aspects of my personality, which led to me staying in an abusive marriage.

Speaker 1:

The other part of the story had to do with a opportunity that came to me through social media. I was approached by a group that wanted me to become, or consider becoming, a spokesmodel for them. They were a fitness organization. They wanted to attract women from my decade, which is in the 60s, and they were hoping to find someone who had personality, a social media presence and was herself fit, that would want to explore their program and then hopefully be able to help them promote it so that they could attract people from my age group. And as someone who's been a gym rat for decades, I thought well, this makes sense, I'll check it out, I'm working out anyway, so not that much of a difference.

Speaker 1:

However, their program expected any participant to be weighed and measured and photographed on a weekly basis in a bathing suit, and, as someone who had suffered from an eating disorder for over three decades, that was potentially triggering to me Again. I considered it because I've been healed from my eating disorder for the better part of two decades now and I really wanted to show myself that I had healed, I had grown, that I had made peace with my body, that I loved myself as I am. And by doing their process and really challenging the way I look at myself on a regular basis, I would be able to identify if there was still some healing yet to do, as well as in the ways I had healed. So I said, yes, I would try it. So we agreed that I would begin their program, which I did in January, do those weekly measurements and check-ins with a coach and then do their program and eat their recommended diet, which is macro-based, by the way, and all seemed to be going well until they wanted me to do a photo shoot.

Speaker 1:

The photo shoot, which did take place a couple weeks ago, was at a local photographer that they found and paid for in Manhattan, and I went there to get photographed in a bathing suit to check my camera presence, because I don't have a modeling background, so they weren't sure how I would be able to handle myself in front of a camera and, oh my gosh, what a day it was. I went there with my clothes, my bathing suits I even got to bring business attire and they were taking all kinds of pictures of me. They had a makeup and hairstylist there to glam me up, and this photographer took hundreds of pictures. I was there for four hours in heels, having the day of my life. For someone who never wears much more than lip gloss, it really was quite a deal, and the pictures looked fantastic. I really was so excited about how they turned out. Even the photographer thought I did a great job for someone who's never done it before.

Speaker 1:

This is when the story took a turn. I realized that night that I hadn't heard from the guy that I had been seeing in a few days, and I knew he had had a visitor in from out of town, and I thought he wouldn't really have much time and I was busy as it was, so I didn't think much about it. But that evening I had some intuitive awakening that led me to wonder if there was a problem that I wasn't aware of or I wasn't really focusing on. And so I found myself in the middle of the night waking up to this thought that something is going on and you're not paying attention, and when a thought like that enters my mind in the middle of the night, I immediately start thinking about my children, and I checked to see if there was any sign of something I was overlooking with them, based on old text messaging or maybe a missed phone call, nothing like that. So I said okay. Then I thought about my finances and I actually went and checked my bank accounts because I wasn't sure if this was the universe saying hey, big problems, check it out. And nothing seemed amiss. Everything was fine there.

Speaker 1:

The very next thought I had was this guy. His name popped into my head and I thought hmm, I wonder if there's a problem there. So I texted him and said I'm awake in the middle of the night and my mind has got the best of me and I'm just wondering, since I haven't heard from you in a few days, if there is a problem that I'm just not aware of Yet. I know you're busy, your friend is visiting and if there is, I trust you'll let me know. I'm going back to sleep, good night.

Speaker 1:

So I didn't think more about it until the next day, where I was on a trip to an out-of-town podcast recording and I was at the airport, stopping to have some lunch. So it was a good 12 hours since I texted that boyfriend Mr Wonderful, we'll call him and I sat down to lunch, looked at my phone to see a text message from him in which he proceeded to break up with me. Ouch, what a way to find out that Mr Wonderful had some problems with my personality, that it was too much for him. I communicated too much. I had a bigger life than he had anticipated. There were other things too, yet he wanted me to know he still wanted to remain friends. And there I was, in this airport, about to walk into an interview that was about all the creative things that I am in the process of giving birth to, and I had to put my feelings to the side so that I could follow through on that. It was really very challenging for me, because I did have love feelings for this person, and yet I made it through that day.

Speaker 1:

A few days after that, I got a text message from the photographer. He wanted me to know that he had heard from the fitness organization, and they asked him to get my permission to Photoshop the pictures the ones in the bathing suit because they didn't want my stretch marks to show Stretch marks. Stretch marks that I got because I'm a mother of three children. Stretch marks that I've, I love because I love being a mom. Stretch marks because this is a body in her 60s and you can't get to my age without getting a few scars.

Speaker 1:

I thought about it for about one second and I turned in response and said no, absolutely not. No, I'm not letting you erase the truth of who I am. No, I'm not going to let you denigrate the one area of my life I'm most proud about, the thing I think is my finest work. So, no, I'm not going to let you do that. The photographer said are you sure? And I said yes, I'm sure. He said okay. Within an hour I got an email from that fitness group, to which they said succinctly if that's a hard no, then this is a hard pass. Ouch, in one week, two hard lessons.

Speaker 1:

And I thought about it. I thought that possibly what this was offering me is a growth opportunity. What this was offering me is a growth opportunity where I get to really see how I have healed, that I am not going to apologize for the body that carried my three children. I'm not going to shrink my personality to suit a man's ego? No, I'm not. I actually love who I am. No, I'm not. I actually love who I am.

Speaker 1:

I have worked really really hard to heal from the pain from my past, the trauma of my childhood, the dysmorphia, ideas about my body shape, and as I considered that, I realized I really have grown, I have healed that. These possibly were two examples that life was trying to show me that I am on the right path and that when you choose yourself over anything money, men, opportunity you're always going to end up winning. This is a big win for me when I think about it that way and it's a much better story when I tell myself that and I really felt grateful that as I was telling the story to the audience, it really resonated with them. People were cheering, people were hollering and laughing and cheering and it just warmed my heart to know that when we heal, when we show that we have healed, everyone gets lifted with that. When we take the courage to stand up for our principles and put them ahead of, in my case, a man or money, that I can be a hero for someone else and I feel really blessed that I got to do that and it got to be something that I enjoy doing. So if I'm going to tell a story about where I've struggled, I hope that I can grow and the listener can grow, and we are both growing and healing together. So that's a recent storytelling event that I got to participate in and it really is something that's fun for me.

Speaker 1:

Open mic night with the moth I do it as often as I can. I used to do it two or three times a month and now I'm down to about one or two times at the most. If you get a chance to go see a moth event, you will love it. If you are a closeted storyteller, I highly recommend you come out of the closet and go show up for an event and put your name in the hat. It's a lot of fun and it's a healing and growing process, and that's what has contributed to me creating not only this podcast but the Change your Narrative, rewrite your Narrative, change your Story, change your Life workshop series and how we can truly heal just by looking at the stories that we tell ourselves, as well as the world. So thank you for tuning in and hearing this episode. Don't forget to follow along and subscribe for more. See you next time. Be well.