The Moth and the Transformative Power of Storytelling

After a surprise breakup and a modeling offer that asked her to hide her stretch marks, Anna shares the raw truth of what it means to bloom. This story from The Moth is about growth, self-worth, and choosing yourself—no matter the cost. 

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Transcript

Introduction to She Asked Podcast

Speaker 1 0:03

Hi everybody , welcome to the she Asked podcast with Anna McBride , where we explore the power of storytelling rewriting our narratives to change our lives . So excited to be able to share with you something that's near and dear to my heart , that is , the actual art of storytelling . I want to share with you about a community that I get to participate

The Moth Storytelling Community Explained

Speaker 1 0:32

in . It's called the Moth Storytelling and they are a New York-based program that's now gone international . It's basically like an open mic night for storytellers . They take their program into the schools and community , but where I intersect with them is that I actually get up on stage and get to tell stories . The way their events work is that they partnership with local venues comedy centers , restaurants , bars that happen to have a stage and an ability to have a lot of people in the audience . And as a storyteller , I choose which venue I want to go participate in and I always choose one that happens to have a topic , because Moth chooses the topics that are hosted at different locations and I pick the locations that have a topic that resonate with me .

Speaker 1 1:31

The storyteller writes a story . It can't be more than six minutes , so that equates to about 900 words a short essay and the story has to be true meaning about you and has to be truly that it happened . It has to be on topic

Two Growth Opportunities Revealed

Speaker 1 1:48

and no more than six minutes . Most recently , I got up on stage and told a story that the topic was called Blooming , which was about the idea of growth . Where in your life had you experienced some growth ? Where in your life had you experienced some growth ? And I went to this venue , which was in Brooklyn , and you have to actually fill out a form , put your name in a hat , and they only picked 10 storytellers . I got picked . I was the third one to get up on stage .

Speaker 1 2:28

The story I told was about two situations that I experienced recently that gave me an opportunity to see where I've grown . I said that by the time you get to my age , it would be easy for me to think that I've learned all the hard lessons in life , that I could just sail right into the golden years knowing that the hard parts were behind me and that life would just be easy . Not true ? Lots of bumps still to be had by this person . Most recently , last fall , met and fell in love with someone and thought

Photo Shoot and Unexpected Breakup

Speaker 1 3:02

things were going well . I thought I had healed from the marriage that I got out of seven years ago . It was a very emotionally abusive marriage that I was in for 36 years and when it ended I spent quite a bit of time working on my self-esteem , my codependency and other aspects of my personality , which led to me staying in an abusive marriage .

Speaker 1 3:31

The other part of the story had to do with a opportunity that came to me through social media . I was approached by a group that wanted me to become , or consider becoming , a spokesmodel for them . They were a fitness organization . They wanted to attract women from my decade , which is in the 60s , and they were hoping to find someone who had personality , a social media presence and was herself fit , that would want to explore their program and then hopefully be able to help them promote it so that they could attract people from my age group . And as someone who's been a gym rat for decades , I thought well , this makes sense , I'll check it out , I'm working out anyway , so not that much of a difference .

Speaker 1 4:21

However , their program expected any participant to be weighed and measured and photographed on a weekly basis in a bathing suit , and , as someone who had suffered from an eating disorder for over three decades , that was potentially triggering to me Again . I considered it because I've been healed from my eating disorder for the better part of two decades now and I really wanted to show myself that I had healed , I had grown , that I had made peace with my body , that I loved myself as I am . And by doing their process and really challenging the way I look at myself on a regular basis , I would be able to identify if there was still some healing yet to do , as well as in the ways I had healed . So I said , yes , I would try it . So we agreed that I would begin their program , which I did in January , do those weekly measurements and check-ins with a coach and then do their program and eat their recommended diet , which is macro-based , by the way , and all seemed to be going well until they wanted me to do a photo shoot .

Speaker 1 5:37

The photo shoot , which did take place a couple weeks ago , was at a local photographer that they found and paid for in Manhattan , and I went there to get photographed in a bathing suit to check my camera presence , because I don't have a modeling background , so they weren't sure how I would be able to handle myself in front of a camera and , oh my gosh , what a day it was . I went there with my clothes , my bathing suits I even got to bring business attire and they were taking all kinds of pictures of me . They had a makeup and hairstylist there to glam me up , and this photographer took hundreds of pictures . I was there for four hours in heels , having the day of my life . For someone who never wears much more than lip gloss , it really was quite a deal , and the pictures looked fantastic . I really was so excited about how they turned out . Even the photographer thought I did a great job for someone who's never done it before .

Speaker 1 6:44

This is when the story took a turn . I realized that night that I hadn't heard from the guy that I had been seeing in a few days , and I knew he had had a visitor in from out of town , and I thought he wouldn't really have much time and I was busy as it was , so I didn't think much about it . But that evening I had some intuitive awakening that led me to wonder if there was a problem that I wasn't aware of or I wasn't really focusing on . And so I found myself in the middle of the night waking up to this thought that something is going on and you're not paying attention , and when a thought like that enters my mind in the middle of the night , I immediately start thinking about my children , and I checked to see if there was any sign of something I was overlooking with them , based on old text messaging or maybe a missed phone call , nothing like that . So I said okay . Then I thought about my finances and I actually went and checked my bank accounts because I wasn't sure if this was the universe saying hey , big problems , check it out . And nothing seemed amiss . Everything was fine there .

Speaker 1 8:00

The very next thought I had was this guy . His name popped into my head and I thought hmm , I wonder if there's a problem there . So I texted him and said I'm awake in the middle of the night and my mind has got the best of me and I'm just wondering , since I haven't heard from you in a few days , if there is a problem that I'm just not aware of Yet . I know you're busy , your friend is visiting and if there is , I trust you'll let me know . I'm going back to sleep , good night .

Speaker 1 8:32

So I didn't think more about it until the next day , where I was on a trip to an out-of-town podcast recording and I was at the airport , stopping to have some lunch . So it was a good 12 hours since I texted that boyfriend Mr Wonderful , we'll call him and I sat down to lunch , looked at my phone to see a text message from him in which he proceeded to break up with me . Ouch , what a way to find out that Mr Wonderful had some problems with my personality , that it was too much for him . I communicated too much . I had a bigger life than he had anticipated . There were other things too , yet he wanted me to know he still wanted to remain friends . And there I was , in this airport , about to walk into an interview that was about all the creative things that I am in the process of giving birth to , and I had to put my feelings to the side so that I could follow through on that . It was really very challenging for me , because I did have love feelings for this person , and yet I made it through that day .

Speaker 1 9:54

A few days after that , I got a text message from the photographer

Choosing Self Over Opportunities

Speaker 1 10:00

. He wanted me to know that he had heard from the fitness organization , and they asked him to get my permission to Photoshop the pictures the ones in the bathing suit because they didn't want my stretch marks to show Stretch marks . Stretch marks that I got because I'm a mother of three children . Stretch marks that I've , I love because I love being a mom . Stretch marks because this is a body in her 60s and you can't get to my age without getting a few scars .

Speaker 1 10:39

I thought about it for about one second and I turned in response and said no , absolutely not . No , I'm not letting you erase the truth of who I am . No , I'm not going to let you denigrate the one area of my life I'm most proud about , the thing I think is my finest work . So , no , I'm not going to let you do that . The photographer said are you sure ? And I said yes , I'm sure . He said okay . Within an hour I got an email from that fitness group , to which they said succinctly if that's a hard no , then this is a hard pass . Ouch , in one week , two hard lessons .

Speaker 1 11:23

And I thought about it . I thought that possibly what this was offering me is a growth opportunity . What this was offering me is a growth opportunity where I get to really see how I have healed , that I am not going to apologize for the body that carried my three children . I'm not going to shrink my personality to suit a man's ego ? No , I'm not . I actually love who I am . No , I'm not . I actually love who I am .

Speaker 1 11:56

I have worked really really hard to heal from the pain from my past , the trauma of my childhood , the dysmorphia , ideas about my body shape , and as I considered that , I realized I really have grown , I have healed that . These possibly were two examples that life was trying to show me that I am on the right path and that when you choose yourself over anything money , men , opportunity you're always going to end up winning . This is a big win for me when I think about it that way and it's a much better story when I tell myself that and I really felt grateful that as I was telling the story to the audience , it really resonated with them . People were cheering , people were hollering and laughing and cheering and it just warmed my heart to know that when we heal , when we show that we have healed , everyone gets lifted with that . When we take the courage to stand up for our principles and put them ahead of , in my case , a man or money , that I can be a hero for someone else and I feel really blessed that I got to do that and it got to be something that I enjoy doing . So if I'm going to tell a story about where I've struggled , I hope that I can grow and the listener can grow , and we are both growing and healing together . So that's a recent storytelling event that I got to participate in and it really is something that's fun for me .

Healing Through Storytelling

Speaker 1 13:40

Open mic night with the moth I do it as often as I can . I used to do it two or three times a month and now I'm down to about one or two times at the most . If you get a chance to go see a moth event , you will love it . If you are a closeted storyteller , I highly recommend you come out of the closet and go show up for an event and put your name in the hat . It's a lot of fun and it's a healing and growing process , and that's what has contributed to me creating not only this podcast but the Change your Narrative , rewrite your Narrative , change your Story , change your Life workshop series and how we can truly heal just by looking at the stories that we tell ourselves , as well as the world . So thank you for tuning in and hearing this episode . Don't forget to follow along and subscribe for more . See you next time . Be well .