SHE Asked Podcast
Welcome to The SHE Asked Podcast with Anna McBride—a space where the stories we tell ourselves are challenged, reimagined, and rewritten to unlock personal transformation.
Hosted by former therapist, storyteller, and lifelong seeker Anna McBride, this podcast dives deep into the power of narrative. Through personal stories and intimate conversations with guests, we explore how shifting our internal dialogue can change not just how we see our lives—but how we live them.
Each episode offers what Anna calls “practical hope”—real tools, lived experience, and emotional honesty for anyone feeling stuck, lost, or ready for change. Whether you’re navigating divorce, grief, reinvention, or simply trying to understand your past, The SHE Asked Podcast invites you to become the author of your own story—and the hero in it, too.
Follow along for weekly episodes filled with compassion, perspective, and the courage to ask yourself:
What story am I telling—and is it still serving me?
SHE Asked Podcast
The Spiritual Meaning of Ownership: My Journey of Buying a Condo in NYC
Discover the spiritual meaning of ownership. In this episode, Anna McBride shares life lessons from buying a condo in New York City, exploring what it really means to own—beyond possessions. Learn how vulnerability, responsibility, and gratitude can reshape your relationship with ownership and your life story.
What do you really own? Not just the things with your name on it, but the parts of your life no one can take away. Today I'm sharing how buying a condo in New York City pushed me to wrestle with that question and the surprising spiritual lesson I found in the process. Welcome back to, she Asks. I'm your host, anna McBride, and I am so happy you're with me today. Today we're talking about the spiritual meaning of ownership, and to get there I have to take you through one of the most exhausting and rewarding journeys I've been through recently Buying a condo in New York City. So here we go. Just this past Friday I closed on a condo here in New York City and I'm so happy that this went all the way through.
Speaker 1:There were many times in this process very arduous. Anyone who has bought anything in New York City knows what I'm talking about is not for the faint of heart. You have to really want to own in New York City knows what I'm talking about is not for the faint of heart. You have to really want to own in New York City. It's almost like a way to be tested, like I'm going through something for a sorority membership to get into this city and own something, you have to really want it. Everything from securing the loan, signing the contract, the walkthroughs, the fact that there's an attorney involved, and she made sure I dotted every I and crossed every T, which is great. She also wanted to make sure we were doing everything the way she wanted, wanted, so she had great control in her personality. Then I had the loan agent. That couldn't have been the more sweetest guy I've ever met, that literally wanted to hold my hand walking through the process. And then I had the real estate agent, who wanted this to turn out, because literally a little over a year ago, I attempted to buy another condo in New York City and it didn't turn out. I even lost the deposit in the process. It was a bad deal.
Speaker 1:What I had to learn was from that first experience is what I didn't want to repeat, and I needed to learn how to ask for help. I needed to be honest about what I didn't know. I needed to be willing to be that vulnerable and, as somebody who grew up in a family that being vulnerable wasn't safe, didn't feel safe, as well as the fact that admitting what I didn't know was not promoted or encouraged. It wasn't natural for me. So I took the risk. I was like I had this need for ownership. I'm not a renter, I'm an owner. I've owned 10 homes throughout my life and I feel more secure in that capacity.
Speaker 1:Through the process of this, securing this apartment apartment I had I just always kept asking myself the question what does it mean to own here for me, like how important is? It came out to be very important, clearly, because if I messed up, so to speak, or lost the first one, I wasn't willing to walk away and not do it again. That's how motivated I was to own, and so I kept going and I kept sharing what I didn't know and I kept asking questions and I kept answering. If it was clearly I didn't know, I just said it. I didn't know. I probably said I didn't know more times through this whole process than I probably did my whole life. And I'm convinced that's why this worked out, because I was willing to ask for help and I was willing to admit what I didn't know I was. Also. I arrived with an attitude of it's okay to ask for help, it's okay to not know and it's really okay to go at a pace that's right for you. Because here's the thing about any purchases in New York City they want you to move through it fast and they want you to go at a pace that seems to be the energy of the city, which is really fast, and I'm not that fast. I like to move a little slower, particularly when I'm coming to a decision and purchasing, I want to make sure I'm moving at a pace that's right for me, and that was also the other thing that contributed to that. First bad experience was that I attempted to go faster than I really could handle, and I don't make good decisions quickly. I make better decisions when I allow myself the time necessary to arrive there, and so I think this is why it also worked out.
Speaker 1:When I finally had the keys in my hand, I felt relief, pride and also curiosity. The quiet question rose up inside me what do I actually own, not just the deed, not just the square footage, what do I really own in this life of mine? So that's what we're gonna be exploring today on in this episode, and I wanna lean on a quote from one of my favorite authors and sociologists, brene Brown, from her book Daring Greatly. She's known for the quote If you own this story, meaning your life story, you get to write the ending, and I recalled that quote when I was considering what I own with this condo. I want to own my story. I'm a storyteller and I know the value of really owning your story means to be the author of it, which means I get to write the ending. I get to decide how it's going to turn out. I may also be surprised by the direction it goes in.
Speaker 1:I couldn't have predicted the ease of this process. It was arduous, yes. However, everything kept moving forward in a way that was unpredicted by me, and I believe it's because I was doing the next right thing for me in my life and choosing it in the pace that was right for me, and when I am aligned with life like that, I am really owning my story. Owning my condo taught me something about owning my story. Just like in real estate, it's not always easy. Sometimes the process feels endless and sometimes you want to walk away, literally. I wanted to walk away many times in this process. However, I didn't, and there were many times in my life that I wanted to walk away and I didn't. I stayed in. I didn't give up, but when you commit to owning it, even the messy parts of your life, your story. You give yourself the power to shape what comes out of it. What is your perspective, what is your attitude, what is your theme. So I want to talk about layers of ownership because I think it's really going to help us take this to a bigger, wider context.
Speaker 1:This idea of ownership Because I'm not talking about material things the condo is material, right, all the furnishings in it are material. Yet the theme of it, the arc of it in my life, in my story, now that has got a wider context. So there's this idea known as divine ownership, and divine ownership is the idea that everything we have is ultimately entrusted to us by something more powerful. So if you have a belief system, as I do, in a power greater than yourself, in recovery, we refer to it as a higher power. In certain spiritual practices you may call them God, allah, universe, nature. The names matter less to me than the idea and the power that it has for you. Ownership becomes less about control and more about reverence, like I am so grateful for what I've been given, like this condominium, this home means so much to me, and the gratitude I have for all the characters that played a part in helping me secure it, the ones that were difficult and the ones that were supportive and everything in between, and I'm grateful for this power greater than me that attracted these characters to my story so that they could help me along the way in this chapter. Really quite something.
Speaker 1:Then there's this idea of stewardship, and stewardship is caring for something deeply without clinging to it. So we have different things that we can steward, like for me, I'm a mother of three adult children, and when they were born to, when they moved out to live their adult lives, I was stewarding them. Another word for that is parenting, and there are a lot of lessons that came for me from that role. Same thing when I work with clients in therapy and even in coaching. I'm stewarding them, I'm guiding them, I'm leading them. However, I'm not controlling them, I don't own them. I certainly don't own their choices, their behavior, and I always have to check myself, because sometimes I get surprised by how people, particularly my children, even respond to me. I think it's going to be a certain one way and it ends up being something else. That stuff excites me when I don't even see the possibility. It just evolves Because these two characters have come together or I'm stewarding and the shift changes how we tend to our homes. Even Like I have this condominium for now I don't know how long I will steward it for yet it will take care of me as much as I take care of it. I think it's mutual. It's like relationships we bring something to it and we get something out of it.
Speaker 1:Then there's this idea of personal responsibility Owning our choices, our words, our energy, our thoughts, our commitments. That's harder to own. Responsibility requires courage, humility and consistency. I have worked at owning my thoughts, my feelings, my actions for quite some time now, diligently, for seven years specifically and I tend to myself, I account for what I do actively and, as a result, I can share like. My personal relationships are strong, my relationship with myself is stronger, my trust in myself is growing constantly and my connection to my place in not only relationships but life has grown all through personal responsibility, because I love that word responsibility. It means the ability to respond. It's not about what's happening as much as it is how you respond to it, and that matters to me.
Speaker 1:Another idea of ownership is this question, as I brought up earlier, is what do we truly own Beyond possessions? We own maybe our integrity, our commitments, our presence, our work, our voice, our willingness to keep learning, our voice, our willingness to keep learning these can't be repossessed or sold. I think about that a lot, because when I say something like I want to own my life, that's really what I'm talking about, the things that are truly mine, meaning in my personality, in my ability to have action on, because I know, through the work that I've been a part of in recovery, like the only thing I can control is me, my response to my life, my response to situations, and and I want to keep growing in integrity, within integrity. I want to be aligned with my values. I want to be aligned with my spiritual connection. I really want to be aligned with life. That's a big part of ownership for me. And then I want to throw out the idea of attachment and the ego, because we hear ego say things like I am what I own or what we own is what our possessions, our positions, our ideas of ourself. And yet I know from the work I've done on myself that when I've been that attached to who I thought I was, life was always teaching me that's not it. You're not what you own, you're not who you think, you're not even your thoughts. I had to really back up to get a better idea, a healthier context of who I really am. Spirit says I am how I show up for what I've been given. How I show up for what I've been given like how grateful am I, how appreciative am I, how blessed do I see my life for everything. Everything is here for me, not against me, and when I have that attitude of gratitude, my life is the better for it. Detachment, in other words, doesn't mean that we stop caring. It means we remember we are more than our possessions we are.
Speaker 1:I don't own anything. At best I steward it for a bit of time, like this dress I'm wearing. I own it now. In probably a month or two or maybe six months, I'll donate it and someone else will steward it. And this is how I live my life. I don't hang on to anything anymore because life is always telling me the longer I cling, the harder I grasp. This stuff is elusive and it takes too much energy to hold on. It's a lot more peace and serenity when I just open my hands and let things fall away.
Speaker 1:So I want to give you something to consider right as a part of this topic because this can be pretty deep Ownership, ownership, the spiritual meaning of ownership. So let me give you some journaling prompts so you can contemplate this for yourself in your own life. And the first one I want you to consider is the question what's one thing I own in my life right now that is teaching me about responsibility? What's one thing that I own in my life right now that is teaching me about responsibility? Just let that question linger in your consciousness and answer it and be honest with yourself, because always the truth tends to percolate up when you least expect it. Here's another question what is my relationship to the possessions I have? Do they own me or do I own them? Whew, that's a big one, I can tell you.
Speaker 1:When I was married, what made it difficult to walk away when I knew it wasn't working, was that we had created a life full of possessions, full of relationships that I told myself were because I was with him and I thought that if I let go of that marriage, that relationship, like I, was going to lose everything. So in that sense it was owning me. I didn't take responsibility, I just relinquished it for sake of a lifestyle, and I know I'm not unique that way? Here's another question when am I being called to shift from ownership to stewardship? Where in your life are you being called to shift from ownership to stewardship? I can share with you from my life's experience that when it comes to doing service, when it comes to doing this work, this is stewardship. I know that I've been called to help guide people and for a bit in life and that's what I'm aiming for is this idea of stewardship, because Because I tell you, there's no bigger heart movement, growth moment. When I see someone that I've steward really shine, able to have a growth within themselves, I just get so overjoyed to be a part of that.
Speaker 1:Here's another question what story in my life am I ready to fully own so I can rewrite the ending? What story in your life are you ready to really own so you can rewrite the ending? That's a big part of my work is helping me, as well as other people rewrite their narratives. So think about what part of your life might not be working that you might be a little more ready now to rewrite the ending. And it starts with ownership becoming the author. And here's the last question I want to offer to you to consider how do I want to feel in my relationship with ownership five years from now. How do you want to feel about your relationship to ownership? Do you want it to be more spiritual or are you comfortable with it just being material? I want to just say there's no wrong answer. Be honest with yourself. Live this question as it is for you so that you can have the relationship to that, this word, this concept of ownership that's right for you.
Speaker 1:And as we wrap up today's episode, I want to leave you with something to reflect on.
Speaker 1:Just like when I look around my condo that we're not in right now, by the way, this is a rental when my condo, when I look around that space, I see more than walls and windows.
Speaker 1:I see a reminder of what it means to commit, to keep going, to take responsibility. I see that ownership, real ownership, starts in the heart, before it shows up in your life. I've had an intention, probably from when I was, I don't know, seven years old, maybe, of wanting to be okay, wanting to have a home that was of my creating Stable, comfortable, peaceful, serene, not chaotic, not addicted, totally comfortable, fully accepting of me in it, like it was the right fit, I belong there. That shows up in your heart, first, that intention, and then it showed up on paper, and then it's in my life. It's in my life and maybe that's the real lesson to hold what we've been given with gratitude, to steward it well and to never forget that the greatest thing we can own in this life is our story. Thank you for joining me today for this episode of. She Asks where healing meets practical hope. I have been your host, anna McBride, and until soon, be well.