EP39, Seasons of Balance

We trade the myth of perfect balance for a practical rhythm built on seasons, boundaries, and small rituals that protect our marriage, family, and work. We share the signs you’re off track, how to reset without guilt, and why 45-minute workouts can save your day.

• returning to audio format because it serves listeners best
• the seasonal shift: redefining balance as seasons not 50-50
• guilt loops when attention is split
• burnout red flags: warning signs of drift and burnout
• transition rituals to switch roles with intention
• proactive partner check-ins and gentle interrupts
• fitness keystone: using fitness as a nervous-system reset and role modeling
• three tools: say no, schedule fun, one percent better rest
• weekly challenge to create a transition ritual

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Transcript

Back To Audio, Same Mission

Speaker 0:16

Let's go. Welcome to Unstoppable by Design, where we talk all things fitness, mindset, and what it means to truly be unstoppable inside and outside the gym. I'm Matt Terry, and today I'm joined by my partner and everything, Anna.

Speaker 2 0:31

It's me.

Speaker 0:33

How are you?

Speaker 2 0:33

Good. How are you?

Speaker 0:35

Good. So today in this week's episode, I should say, uh, we're returning back to the audio format. So we're coming back just to audio, not doing video. We paid close attention to our statistics, and this format works best for our listeners. Uh, so we're gonna stick with what works.

Speaker 2 0:51

I guess we just got the face for radio, you know what I'm saying?

Rethinking Work Life Balance

Speaker 0:55

I don't think we have a very, a very nice-looking studio. It's just the gym wall.

Speaker 2 1:01

What do you mean? In time, guys, in time.

Speaker 1:05

Hey, this works. Everybody listening while they're driving or doing chores, I appreciate you. So jumping in today, our episode, we're gonna be talking about a work-life balance or trying to develop one.

Speaker 2 1:17

Trying to develop one's probably really the key here, right?

Speaker 1:21

Or lack thereof.

Speaker 2 1:22

Yeah.

Speaker 1:23

I mean, between running a gym, raising kids, being in the family, starting a real estate journey, all the other irons in the fire that we have, balance kind of feels like a lie sometimes. But today we want to talk about how to actually manage that chaos without losing our minds or our marriage.

Speaker 2 1:39

Yeah, that one's a non-negotiable. I'll lose my mind all day, but not you. I think like so when people talk about work-life balance, they hear two words, right? Work and life, and they want to balance it. So they think that means 50-50. And I feel like chasing that sort of perfection is something that really skews people's success, I guess, in having a work-life balance because it's absolutely not 50-50 by any means. No. Some days it can be, but just like a marriage, right? It's not 50-50 just because you have a husband and a wife or whatever your situation is. It's sometimes you show up 90 and your partner shows up 10.

Speaker 2:17

And then vice versa down the road.

Speaker 2 2:19

Yeah.

Speaker 2:20

Yeah.

Seasons Not Slices

Speaker 2 2:20

You know, and it's like we have, like you said, multiple irons in our fire. We have a couple different career paths, couple different business things going on, and it's like, and now isn't just two. So you can't ever do 50-50. This one, you have 100% of your time, and like this thing has to have 10%. That's gonna have 5% today. This is gonna have 40%. Like, it's a constant juggling act of like, where does your time go?

Speaker 2:43

Yeah. Yep. And it's it could feel like different seasons, I guess. Like you could be spending a season where it's 80% one part of the career or space, and then 20% on the family, or you could be in a space where, like you said, it's a lot more in the family, just comes and goes.

Speaker 2 3:04

Yeah. I giggled for a minute because I'm thinking about like when we say we have like second summer or whatever in the fall, and it's like you bring you dress with a jacket to work or to school, then like in the middle of the day, you're in shorts and a tank top, and then when you leave, you're like, oh, I gotta put on a sweatshirt, and then it's nighttime. Like, oh gosh, I gotta do sweatpants and stuff again. Like, yeah, it's seasons, yeah, you know, and our seasons in New Hampshire are crazy, but so sometimes season, yeah. Yeah, seven, eighth mud season.

Speaker 3:31

Mud season, yeah, right.

Speaker 2 3:32

But it but it's it still applies, right? You have some seasons that feel really long. Like, I don't think summer is ever long enough. Yeah, winter, uh, can't stop.

Speaker 3:42

Like some people love winter though. They're in the right state for quite so.

Speaker 2 3:45

Yeah, so it all just depends. But like again, work-life balance is very much the same. Like school sports for your kids. Like, you might have your kid could play traveling hockey. Like that season for you, you're probably giving 90% to your family.

Speaker 4:00

Yeah.

Speaker 2 4:00

90% to hockey, or hockey's coming in like another work situation almost because it requires so much of you. Yep. But yeah, it's seasons is like a a really good way to look at it. Yeah. Um, and sometimes your your commitment aligns with the seasons, right? Like you and I were just talking the other day. We're like, right now, it's grind on work because being outside isn't fun for us. You know, but then we were like, well, when it's warm out, it's nice out, like we're not gonna do this. Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna give more to the family because we're gonna go and have adventures. Yep. So sometimes your work life balance seasons align with the real seasons.

Guilt And The Productivity Pendulum

Speaker 4:36

Yeah, yeah, it's true. And knowing that you're spending more time somewhere else and not, you know, let's let's just do the work life, like life being everything at home. You're spending more time on work-related stuff, like entrepreneurs, like we are out, we are grinding and hustling outside of the 40.

Speaker 2 4:56

Yeah, it never stops.

Speaker 4:57

Yep, but there's some guilt that comes with that. So sometimes when you're choosing to work or push in a different direction with the business, you might be taking time from the family. So you're thinking about spending time with the family. And if you're on vacation and you're spending time with the family, then you're thinking about what you should be doing for the business. And there's a guilt that goes back and forth there.

Speaker 2 5:17

Yeah, it's, I mean, gosh, that part's tough. I can't, I don't even think I need to add to that, honestly. I think everybody's experienced some variation of that. Like if you're working and you have, you know, a family you love to go home to, you're probably thinking about them all day at work.

Speaker 5:30

Yeah.

Speaker 2 5:30

And then if you have a job that you're passionate about when you're at home, you're probably thinking about, all right, tomorrow when I come in, I'm gonna do this and like I gotta prep for this. Like, yeah, you're always thinking about the place you're not.

Speaker 5:42

Yep. Or thinking about the conversations that you know you're gonna have to have the next day or the assignments that maybe do, and you're it's just present in your brain. So you can't fully be present with your family.

Spotting When You’re Off Balance

Speaker 2 5:53

Yeah. And then you're present at work and you get that like five-minute calm session, and you're like, Man, I should have done this with my kids last night, or I should have done this, or my husband, or whatever. Like it's just a constant, yeah, constant push and pull, always.

Speaker 6:07

Yep. And I guess a good tool against that would be realizing ways to know when you are really far off balance for a long period of time. Like, because we understand that ebbs and flows, but if you are like always 90% work and 10% family, what what do you think that looks like? What does that show up as for people?

Speaker 2 6:31

I mean, I think if you're in a relationship, your spouse is probably gonna get mad. That's a nice sign. You're gonna see that real fast.

Speaker 6:40

The the other parent, the mother or father, or whoever's in the relationship with you is is like, what the heck, man?

Speaker 2 6:45

Yeah, what are you? Are you gonna like are you gonna come hang out or what? Maybe some passive aggressive comments for a little bit.

Speaker 6:54

Maybe a Rocky situation.

Speaker 2 6:56

I think too, like, if you just like reflect on yourself, like thinking, I know for me, like when I can tell that I have shifted too much in the work direction, I feel lonely. And like sometimes, like I that's like unfortunately what I notice first, right? Instead of like, and I think I feel lonely because probably like you guys are doing what you need to do, like family stuff, because you're like mom, mom's in it right now, like you know, and some sometimes it has to be that way, and it's but I I can really tell when I've gone too far on the work balance the work side, and I I genuinely like will feel lonely and I'm like, wow, where's my family? Like I miss them. Yeah, and then I pendulum swing back and I'm like, get over here, I miss you guys, you know. But sometimes it's like reflecting like, how are you feeling? You know, like it's like you've been drowning for a while and you come up and you're like, Oh, like where how many how many days has it been? Like, what are my friends doing? Like, oh my god, like I feel like I haven't seen them in a long time, like those kind of things, I guess.

Speaker 7:57

Yeah, like taking a breath of fresh air.

Speaker 2 8:00

Yeah.

Speaker 8:00

But coming back to it. Also, you kind of talked about it, but just just feeling like burnout, I guess.

Speaker 2 8:09

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 8:11

So feeling like you're running 100 miles per hour, and then when you finally recognize it or you see the signs of burnout, and then you go, whoa, and you you pull back, it can feel like you're coming up for air, like you said.

Speaker 2 8:23

Yeah, I think everybody experiences burnout a little bit differently. Yes, you know, so you gotta make sure you know that within yourself. Like, fortunately, I'm usually biting heads off. No, you're so nice to me. I'm a little extra spicy, and usually that's when I'm like, all right, yeah, it's time to close the computer, it's time to put the phone away.

Speaker 8:45

Yeah, or just take a moment.

Boundaries And Transition Rituals

Speaker 2 8:46

Yeah, but I think like, you know, a lot of us is talking about like relationships. I think one of the things that I'm very thankful for with us is I think we openly communicate about that. Yeah. And if you're listening and you are in a relationship and that's not a space that you have, test it out because that like you know me better than I know myself. And like you catch me. So when you think about a counterbalance, like, how do I know? I haven't felt that lonely feeling in a really, really, really long time because you catch me before I get there. And thank you, and I love you for that.

Speaker 9:17

Oh, let's go. And vice versa, really. Like, sometimes I can get caught up in the weeds, and I can I get lonely if I'm editing, you know, stuff doing podcasts or whatever. And and it's like, oh god, I've been down here for five hours.

Speaker 2 9:31

I need to Yeah, and I'm like, come down with a plate of breakfast, and like probably haven't eaten. Don't forget to come upstairs.

Speaker 9:38

Very true. But okay, so thinking about you know the seasons and and the guilt and trying to figure out a ways to detect when you've been on one side for too long, I think something to talk about that's important would be boundaries and maybe some like simple practices that we put into play in our life that help us. Something that you could do that would be helpful is like a transition ritual. So it's like let's say you're you're transitioning from work to home, even taking five minutes in like your parked car in the driveway before you go in to kind of like decompress, just exhale the day. Maybe it's listen to your favorite podcast on the way back, you know, and stop it by design. Whatever it may be, take a moment to shift gears and don't expect the shift to happen in the moment or rush it. So that way you're not going through the door before you've actually fully shifted. And then, you know, your loved ones are depending on you, but then you're just you're not there, and then you get frustrated because you're not there. Yeah. Taking that moment to shift is is a good one.

Speaker 2 10:41

Yeah. I do a version of that, like, but at the end of my work day. So like before I ever leave work, I like I go through everything from my day. Because a lot of it, like, right, we talked about you're just thinking about everything at work if you're like passionate about your job. And so I try and like get it all out of my head and close it off when I leave work. So like I go through like all my notebooks. If anybody who's ever seen me in the workspace, I have like 27 notebooks of a problem. But I go through all my notebooks and I extract everything where I'm like, okay, this is an unfinished idea. I have to bring this back tomorrow or have an action and I put it all in on like one list. So then I know, like, I know I'm not forgetting anything and I know that I've created a space for it when I come back tomorrow. I can let it go when I leave the door.

Speaker 11:24

Yeah.

Speaker 2 11:24

And so, like, that's like how I have to settle my brain, is I have to literally get it out and put it on paper. And then if the day is tough, uh, box breathing using your like five-minute thing you do in the car. Like sometimes I do that with box breathing and just really get the nervous system to calm down a bit.

Speaker 11:39

There's another form of like a transition ritual that was made very popular. I saw it in a bunch of different posts in like a variety of different manners. But it would be somebody coming home from work and then like touching the door frame and leaving everything outside of the house. That way when they go in the house, it doesn't follow them in.

Speaker 2 11:57

Or like sports when they're like, Oh, hit the door frame before you go down the court.

Speaker 12:01

I don't know. I don't know. Maybe. But you know, something like that, or another version of it was a tree. There was a tree that somebody would come up and and touch and hang up their problems on the tree before they go into the house. And it, you know, I saw that actually quite a bit in the past couple months. It's a popular post.

Speaker 2 12:19

Interesting.

Speaker 12:20

Yeah, pretty cool.

Speaker 2 12:22

Whatever works for you, you know. Maybe you stand outside and you just like scream in your car for five minutes and you go.

Speaker 12:27

Probably not. Your neighbors might call the cops or something.

Speaker 2 12:30

Yeah, not don't recommend that.

Proactive Partnering And Check-Ins

Speaker 12:33

But really, like, even if it's silly, if it works for you, who cares? You don't have to tell anybody that you do it unless you want to share. But if you have something that works, maybe it's doing a dance in the driveway for like whatever it is. It it doesn't matter. If it works, it's it's good.

Speaker 2 12:51

Lily just made me think of Jen Byrne. Not saying she does that, Jen. Don't worry, I'm not telling your secrets, but she but she's always dancing, you know? Like I just feel like that's yeah. Good dance.

Speaker 13:01

Yep. Outside of that, another another boundary you could set is just making sure that you're more intentional about not being on your phone or answering work-related things when it's family time at home. But, you know, for example, like dinner time, if you're having dinner at the table with your family, nobody's on their phone or nobody's playing games or watching movies or something. Turn the TV off. Yeah, something that Emily talked about way back in one of the beginning episodes was how people could do better about being present with eating. And so I think in that moment, in that family time, the more distractions you add instead of being present and eating and enjoying your family's company, the less beneficial it is for your body.

Speaker 2 13:42

Yeah. And like we can connect that with some like of the habit stacking techniques we talked about before too, because dinner is something that most of us always have. Some people don't, but most of us have dinner.

Speaker 13:54

Yeah.

Speaker 2 13:54

So now you have that time frame, you're like, I know I'm gonna have dinner. This is gonna be my boundary space from turning this off and I'm gonna be present or whatever. Because some of us need like that structure, you know, and it's easier to stack on top of something you already have a routine than it is to start out of the blue.

Speaker 14:09

Yeah.

Speaker 2 14:10

I also speaking of structure is my favorite. Sometimes too, like again, it's not 50-50, right? So, like, depending on what you got going on, what season you're in, it may not be okay, five o'clock, I'm done, I'm going home, and nothing, except for family time. You might have to dedicate some time to work.

Speaker 14:29

Yeah.

Speaker 2 14:29

But instead of saying, I have to work for a bit, it's like, I'm working for 45 minutes and then I'm back. And it's like setting that clock and having the discipline to stick to it because you like again, it's not black and white, it's not zero to 100. It's what season am I in? What do I have to give right now? Is my family okay with that, right? Is the balance okay right now? Yeah. And then just set the boundary around that so you don't exceed it.

Speaker 14:53

Yeah. Yeah. I I would highly recommend that nobody is just a hundred percent work all the time with zero time with your family.

Speaker 2 15:01

I think that's not a good thing to strive for. Yeah.

Speaker 15:06

Yeah. I think it could be disastrous down the road. But yeah, even if it demands more of you in that moment, because we've had situations like that in our life, find the boundary that you're gonna hold to still make space for the other important things in your life.

Speaker 2 15:22

Yeah, and like it's a partnership at the end of the day. Yeah. You know, like that's when work-life balance really comes into play, is like when when you have a family and you got people at home depending on you. I mean, even as like a single individual, take care of yourself. Yeah. You know, don't work 100%. You still need to eat, you still gotta work out, you still gotta take care of yourself. But the struggle becomes significantly more real when you have a family. And you just gotta you gotta keep in mind that you're a partnership and you're not a silo.

Speaker 15:49

Yeah. You know, and like speaking of partnerships, what what kind of things do we do to keep each other in check?

Speaker 2 15:57

I just yell at you.

Speaker 15:59

Not yell at me. She does not yell at me.

Speaker 2 16:07

I think I think we just are honest with each other. Like, like I'm just like when I am like, babe, get off your computer. I feel like I come over. I'm like, babe, get off your computer. You know, I'm like coming out.

Speaker 16:21

I mean, to be fair, you said it very monotone there. That is not how we do not endorse that type of communication in relationships, unless that's your style. I mean, hey, if that's your thing, might be a mustache. Then send it. But no, Anna comes over, she'll rub my back, and she'll be like, Hey, you're telling people that I can tweak. Just off, man.

Speaker 2 16:40

Stop it.

Speaker 16:41

And she'll be like, Do you think, do you think you're gonna be done soon or whatever? I'm like, Oh, got it. Got it.

Speaker 2 16:48

But it's such an interesting perspective because from my angle, I'm like, I just come over and say, babe, get off your computer.

Speaker 16:54

Just poke me in the face until I'm like, okay, okay.

Speaker 2 16:56

Hey, what are you doing?

Speaker 16:57

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 16:57

If not that, then I'll be like, I'll tell the kids. I'd be like, go tell Dada he's handsome. And then they come over and they distract him and he melts, and I'm like, great, come over here with us.

Speaker 17:05

I'm a sucker for our kids.

Speaker 2 17:07

Yeah. Use the kids.

Speaker 17:10

I'm a sucker for them. Um but finding ways to approach your partner and being respectful, because I mean, sometimes, like we said, there there is seasons where outside things do demand more of us. And to say that they don't would be unrealistic. Yeah. But finding the right way that works for you guys, maybe you communicate about it ahead of time to be like, hey, when I say purple ice cream or whatever, that means it's time to get ice cream or yeah, cold word, safe word. Yeah, whatever, whatever way it works, find a way to communicate that is constructive.

Speaker 2 17:53

Yeah, I like being proactive is huge. Like, I I can just think of like sometimes when I'm like, babe, I'm about to enter some like some stuff at work, I'm gonna feel super stressed.

Speaker 18:01

Yes.

Speaker 2 18:02

And I'm like, I don't know when it's gonna hit, but I know it's gonna hit and just know it's not you, and like that I'm gonna be like my brain's gonna be somewhere else, and I'm gonna look like I'm not here 100%. And like sometimes just giving that heads up, but it'll that comes down to awareness of yourself, which that's a whole other journey that you have to take to really be successful here sometimes.

Speaker 18:19

But yeah, but no, good catch with the proactiveness because if you have that honest conversation in the beginning, yeah, like that helps me also safeguard you from other distractions, like kids running up being like, Hey, I want mom, I want mac and cheese. When dad is totally capable of giving mac and cheese, they just prefer it to come from mom.

Speaker 2 18:41

Oh man.

Fitness As A Reset And Model

Speaker 18:41

So, like just moments like that helps me safeguard that piece for you to get those things done.

Speaker 2 18:47

Yeah, it's like the protecting the piece, yeah, which is important, and then like I can get something done so quickly and have more time with you guys at the end, too. So right, exactly.

Speaker 18:56

And it's not like I'm doing anything other than it's just preference for the kids sometimes.

Speaker 2 19:00

Yeah.

Speaker 19:01

All right, let's talk about how fitness fits into all this.

Speaker 2 19:04

Well, first of all, just do it.

Speaker 19:06

Well, okay.

Speaker 2 19:10

What?

Speaker 19:12

So thinking about sometimes we go through seasons, sometimes we have very little time, sometimes we feel like we have no time to work out. I think those are the moments specifically when we need to make time to work out for multiple or for multiple reasons, really.

Speaker 2 19:33

I mean, to put it simply without getting super nerdy about it, science says that working out will increase your productivity. So, like make the hour, make the 30 minutes. Hello, we have an express class. Like, yeah, you know, like get your heart rate up, get your blood pumping, get your brain off of it. If you're doing the right workout, you're gonna be too busy trying to breathe and count to be worrying about whatever's going on at work. Like, it's a it's a nervous system reset, you know, if you if you do it the right way, and it's you will come out of it more productive, more relaxed, and ready to rock.

Speaker 20:06

Yep.

Speaker 2 20:07

It's the it's the best thing you can do for yourself.

Speaker 20:09

Also, just how many people leave working out saying, I'm so glad I worked out, or I feel better than I did going into it, and how stressed to even make the time for it.

Speaker 2 20:21

All of them. Yep. How many times do we hear it a day? 60, four.

Speaker 20:25

Yep.

Speaker 2 20:27

That was a random number.

Speaker 20:28

But you you don't even need a full hour like to pull back the curtain on some things, you need 45-ish minutes. And that's why I love our I'm gonna throw this in here. I love our semi-privates. They're 45 minutes of just condensed action, but it's very, very efficient. Yeah. And if you look at our class structure, without the instruction and the transitions and the setup and the shifting of gears, you're really spending about 45 minutes to 50 minutes working moving. Yeah. Yeah. And so if you're looking at how much time do I need for health, how much time do I need for fitness, make 45 minutes. That's it.

Speaker 2 21:10

Twice a week.

Speaker 21:10

Yep. To start, yeah. Especially in a season where you don't have a whole lot of time for it. Minimum.

Speaker 2 21:17

Yeah. I mean, listen, if you're gonna do real math, right, and you're figuring out that 50-50 life work-life balance, and you're like, I'm working 12 hours a day, five days a week. Okay, well, we're asking for less than two hours. That's literally like two percent.

Speaker 21:31

Yeah.

Speaker 2 21:31

You're doing 98, 2%. Come on, you can do that.

Speaker 21:35

Math says.

Speaker 2 21:36

Math, don't ask me if it's real math, but uh we're gonna say that's what it is.

Speaker 21:41

But but yes, you feel better when you're done. You're constructive about your day, you're accomplishing stuff. So your your brain goes, heck yeah, I did that. Check it off the checklist.

Speaker 2 21:51

Yes, winds, endorphins.

Speaker 21:52

Yes, yep. The chemicals in your brain are doing happy dances. Uh yeah, you can't see her, but she danced.

Speaker 2 21:59

She'd had the video for that one.

Speaker 22:01

Another thing about fitness is especially if you have kids, they're watching you still carve out time for health. They're making it, they're marking it as important in their brain. Yeah. So from a role model or a Leadership perspective, it's it's doing the right things for longevity.

Speaker 2 22:21

Yeah, and I mean Jed right now is the proof in that pudding. Like he is really, I mean, lately, like that he he's showing that, you know, like he's been seeing us do it for a while. And it used to be like when we took him to the gym or we had to take him to Kung Fu, or even when we are leaving the house and they're not, and we're like, oh, we're gonna work out. He used to get so bummed, and now like we've kind of been changing how we're seeing it to be like, hey, we get to go work out, like we love this, yeah, you know, and like now it's changing for him, and he's excited and he wants to come work out now. Yeah, you know, like he's which is cool, it's so cool, yeah. And he's he's loving it now, and he's like, I want to be strong, I want to be strong, like Deda. Yeah, yeah, which of course there you go, Matt melts again.

Speaker 23:03

But soccer for the kids, yeah.

Speaker 2 23:06

So they they see, they watch, and I think even like Sarah and Gavin, like those kids are dragging them down into a little home gym more than they are, you know. They're like, let's go work out, let's go move our bodies. Like they're always watching.

Speaker 23:18

Yeah.

Speaker 2 23:18

You know, you teach them.

Three Practical Tips: No, Schedule Fun, Rest

Speaker 23:20

Yep. Even when you're not sitting down to actually like when you're teaching your kid how to read, for example, because that's something we're doing at home, you're you're active in that process. Yeah, like it's very active. But something like, hey, I'm gonna go work out, and they see you make that decision. You weren't actively sitting there being like, hey, watch me choose this, but they pick it up. Yes. So yeah, it's it's important.

Speaker 2 23:43

It becomes like an expectation for them.

Speaker 23:46

Yeah. All right, some tips. Bum bum, some tips.

Speaker 2 23:51

Some of these are my favorite.

Speaker 23:53

So okay. I love them so tip number one: the power of no. So I love it.

Speaker 2 24:03

Yeah, I'm just sitting here beaming.

Speaker 24:05

I was waiting for that. To keep it short, you you can't be unstoppable if you're overcommitted to a hundred different things. Yeah. So finding spaces to say no is an incredibly important and beneficial.

Speaker 2 24:21

Yeah. And maybe like sometimes I know when I work people with people and I'm like, you gotta say no, saying no is very uncomfortable, uncomfortable for them. So it's like, okay, then let's choose where we say yes. And it's just reframing that, right? Like when you say yes here, you're saying no here.

Speaker 24:39

Yeah.

Speaker 2 24:40

Which one makes you more uncomfortable, the yes or the no? Because there's always an opposing, right? Every time I say no here, I'm saying yes to this. Every time I say yes to this, I'm saying no to that. Yeah. So you want to restructure it and think of what am I saying yes to, knowing that it says no to here. Are you okay with that? No. Are you okay with this? Yes.

Speaker 24:59

Yeah.

Speaker 2 24:59

And like again, you cannot do it all. And you might feel like you're making the best choice because you're, I'm helping everybody and I'm doing this and this. You're killing yourself in the process.

Speaker 25:08

Yeah. I think that's a great expansion of what we're talking about because people could take this literally and be like, I'm just gonna say no a heck of a lot more. And then, you know, there there are some downsides to that. Like, nah. Like you may want to explain a little bit more why you're saying no, or you may want to say no nicely instead of being like, hey, do you want to go outside? No. You know, so understanding kind of that context that Anna gave is actually an important piece.

Speaker 2 25:40

And it's like, okay, you don't have to just say no, you know, like that's what I mean, yeah, yeah. Like, you know, I'm trying to think of something that happened the other day. Like, I'll just give an example, hey, do you want to go out to the bar with me later? That doesn't really support my goals right now. I'm good. Thanks. Nowhere in there did I actually say no. So for people who are uncomfortable being that blunt, yeah, like what's the yes? Speak in the yes you're saying to. I'm saying yes to my health and my goals right now. I'm good, thank you. Yeah, you know, so you can completely reframe that to work for you and what we're what you want. If you're not a direct person, then speak to your guests.

Speaker 26:16

Yeah.

Speaker 2 26:16

I'm I'm choosing this for me. I'm choosing my health right now, I'm choosing my sleep right now. Yeah because I know I got a big day tomorrow, but thank you.

Speaker 26:23

Yeah.

Speaker 2 26:23

You know?

Speaker 26:24

Yep. So tip number two, schedule the fun.

Speaker 2 26:28

Also love this.

Speaker 26:30

Yeah. I think you love this because it's putting it on the calendar and then you can see your day. It's structure. Yeah. Yes. But it works. Um and you might be like, oh my God, why do they put date night on the calendar? Or why do they put trips to fun spot on the calendar? That seems so artificial. Heck no. It's one of the best things we could do because our lives are going in a million different directions.

Speaker 2 26:57

And so fast.

Speaker 26:58

Yeah. And so things will come up and be like, oh yeah, let's it's easy to fill a void or space if you leave it as a void in space. If you put something in there, it helps you be intentional with that time instead of being like, oh, I was gonna food prep in that time now or yeah, laundry.

Speaker 2 27:16

I've been super like getting big into that on weekends lately. I don't know if you've you've well, you know I know you've noticed because we've run into that situation, right? Where you were like, oh, I'm gonna try and like do this. And then you looked at the calendar and you're like, oh yeah, whoops, you know, and it's like it's just important because again, especially if you're a doer, like I think we're both doers, and so we will always naturally go towards, oh, let's do, let's do something, right? Versus like actually let's we're gonna we're staying home. We're not going out, we're not doing anything from starting at 4 p.m. on Saturday. Like we're at home. Movie night, we're doing a movie night. Yeah, we're with the kids, we're doing popcorn, you know, like we're making pizzas. We're do like we're yeah, it we'll choose, we'll find something else to do.

Speaker 28:02

Yep. We always do. Well, there's that thing, right? That it's things fill the space you give them. I Parkinson's Law. Okay, thank you.

Speaker 2 28:09

Love it. Give me more things I love.

Speaker 28:11

Yeah. And so you are constantly, by not doing something like this, you're constantly allowing things outside of maybe what you had intended to fill that space.

Speaker 2 28:22

Yeah. Work will fill the time and space you allow it. So if you don't add the guardrails, you don't add the start and end time, your caps, you're gonna splooge all over the place.

Speaker 28:31

Yep. So tip number three: the one percent rule for rest. So you might be like, wait, what? Getting one percent better at rest. Heck yeah. Uh, getting one percent better at sleeping is incredibly important for recovery. We've talked about this. Or even doing nothing is important for emptying your brain sometimes. I mean, it's that's a thing. Yeah, but it's just as important as trying to get one percent better at a movement like a barbell snatch or barbell clean or deadlifts, and the mile run. Yeah, getting one percent better. It's important to find that in resting as well.

Speaker 2 29:09

Yeah. I mean, let me tell you, out of all the clients I've worked with, guess how many of them suck at sleeping?

Speaker 29:15

All of them. I was gonna say a lot. All of them. Myself included.

Speaker 2 29:18

There's been, I would say, a very small percentage of people who like got their sleep down and they actually sleep well. But like, we got it, we're so invested in the go, go, go, go, go, right. We're so invested in the speed, we're so invested in I don't know, screwing up our nervous system that we don't sleep well. Stress is through the roof, like we're on our phones up until the last minute, like our rooms aren't dark, like there's just all this stuff that crushes our sleep. But you get that sleep again, you're more productive the following day.

Speaker 29:47

Yeah.

Speaker 2 29:48

And there's all these little things, like you said, 1% better. Can you set your alarm or go to bed? If you normally crawl into bed at nine and you doom scroll until 10, scroll into bed at 8:30, doom scroll until 9 30, go to bed.

Speaker 30:00

Yep.

The Unstoppable Challenge And Closing

Speaker 2 30:00

You know, like still doom scrolling, but we'll work on that later. But your 1% right now is this.

Speaker 30:05

Yeah, it's important. It's a tip. Help you find that balance. All right. It's time for the unstoppable challenge. So for this, thank you, drum roll thing. Thank you, Rumble. Uh, for this next week, I want you to find your transition ritual. I want you to think when you leave work, find one five-minute habit that signals to your brain that hey, work self is done in home or husband or dad or mom or whatever it may be self is is online. It's happening. Put the phone away, take a couple deep breaths, walk into your house with intention and make that shift before you become present. So let's try it. Let's do it for one week. Let us know how it goes. I want to hear from you at the gym. If you've done this, let me know how how it turns out for you. And we got new episodes that release every Tuesday. It's all by design. If you liked what you heard today, make sure that you like and follow us. And I think that's all I got. You got anything, Anna? No, it's great. Cool. So then we will see you next time. Until then, be well. Be unstoppable.