Letโ€™s Get Real with Jena Burris

How Your Attachment Style Shapes Motherhood (Part 1) with Bev Mitelman

โ€ข Jena Burris โ€ข Episode 21

๐“•๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ฎ ๐“ก๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ป๐“ฌ๐“ฎ ๐“ฏ๐“ธ๐“ป ๐“œ๐“ธ๐“ถ๐“ผ

Feeling overwhelmed and like youโ€™ve lost yourself in the chaos of motherhood?

 Youโ€™re not alone. And you donโ€™t have to keep feeling this way.

I created this FREE guide for you:
 ๐ŸŽ The Overwhelmed Momโ€™s Guide: 10 Small Changes to Start Feeling Like You Again

Simple, realistic shifts you can start making today without adding more to your plate.
๐Ÿ‘‰ Grab it here: https://jenaburris.kit.com/ecc29b3801

๐„๐ฉ ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ ๐‡๐จ๐ฐ ๐˜๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐€๐ญ๐ญ๐š๐œ๐ก๐ฆ๐ž๐ง๐ญ ๐’๐ญ๐ฒ๐ฅ๐ž ๐’๐ก๐š๐ฉ๐ž๐ฌ ๐Œ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ก๐จ๐จ๐ (๐๐š๐ซ๐ญ ๐Ÿ) ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐๐ž๐ฏ ๐Œ๐ข๐ญ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฆ๐š๐ง
Guest: Bev Mitelman

Motherhood often feels like youโ€™re holding everything together with duct tape and sheer willpower. From the outside, it might look like youโ€™ve got it all together. But on the inside? Youโ€™re tired, stretched thin, and quietly wondering:

๐Ÿ‘‰ โ€œWhy do I keep reacting this way? Why do I feel so unseen, even in my own family?โ€

If youโ€™ve ever had those thoughts, this conversation is for you.

In todayโ€™s episode, I sit down with Bev Mitelman, founder of Securely Loved, a certified attachment practitioner, and a mom of two. Bev grew up in a chaotic, unstable home filled with conflict and mental illness. While her parents did love her, she never felt truly safe emotionally โ€” and that shaped how she learned to give and receive love.

What We Talk About in This Episode
โœจ The impact of childhood chaos โ€” Bev shares what it was like to grow up without emotional safety and how that shaped her patterns as an adult.
 โœจ Attachment styles explained โ€” What it means to have a secure attachment vs. an insecure one, and how kids develop survival strategies to hold on to love.
 โœจ The people-pleasing wound โ€” How children who fear abandonment learn to put their own needs last, tiptoe around others, and grow up feeling like they have to โ€œearnโ€ love.
 
Why This Matters for Moms
As Bev says, the emotional safety of a child is just as important as food, shelter, and clothing. Without it, we carry wounds like:

โ€œIโ€™m not good enough.โ€

โ€œI will be abandoned.โ€

โ€œMy needs donโ€™t matter.โ€

Those wounds donโ€™t magically disappear when we become adults. They resurface in our parenting, our marriages, and even our friendships.

Bev reminds us: healing your attachment wounds isnโ€™t selfish. Itโ€™s one of the greatest gifts you can give your children. Because when you heal, you teach your kids by example that their needs matter too.

As Bev described the anxious, preoccupied style โ€” the tendency to put everyone else first, to constantly seek advice before trusting your own decisions โ€” I found myself nodding through tears. Iโ€™ve lived this. Iโ€™ve been the mom who calls three friends before sending a text. Iโ€™ve been the woman who felt like I had to shrink myself to keep peace in the room.

And it hit me: I canโ€™t expect my kids to grow up secure if I donโ€™t model what security looks like. My healing matters for their healing.

Listen to Part 1 Now

This episode is raw, real, and foundational. If youโ€™ve ever wondered why you react the way you do in motherhood โ€” why the anger, the fear, or the people-pleasing feels so automatic โ€” Bevโ€™s story and wisdom will help you make sense of it.

๐Ÿ‘‰ Start with Part 1 here, and donโ€™t miss Part 2, where weโ€™ll go deeper into practical tools for breaking free from these patterns.

You donโ€™t have to carry this alone anymore. Letโ€™s take the next step together.

Connect with Bev:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/securely_loved/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SecurelyLoved
Website: https://securelyloved.com/

P.S. If this episode resonates with you, please reach out. I truly want to hear your story. You can DM me on Instagram @jenaburris or email me at jena@jenaburris.com. Your voice matters โ€” and Iโ€™m here for you.