Let’s Get Real with Jena Burris
Welcome to Let’s Get Real, the podcast for women who feel like they’re holding it all together on the outside… but falling apart on the inside.
If you’re exhausted from pretending, overwhelmed by the pressure to be everything for everyone, or unsure who you even are anymore—you’re not alone. And you’re not crazy.
Let’s Get Real is where we have honest conversations about the struggles most people avoid—healing emotional wounds, losing yourself in motherhood, rebuilding your identity, and learning how to live whole again.
I’m Jena Burris—wife, mom, and your host. With a background in marriage and family therapy, life coaching, and years spent navigating life behind the scenes of the NFL and Hollywood, I’m passionate about creating a space where real conversations lead to real healing.
Each week, you’ll hear real stories, practical tools, and the reminder that freedom is closer than you think. Because I believe that in order to heal, we have to get real.
New episodes every Tuesday. Real talk. Real tools. Real healing.
For speaking inquiries, brand partnerships, or workshop opportunities, visit www.jenaburris.com or email jena@jenaburris.com.
Let’s Get Real with Jena Burris
How Childhood Shapes Us with Stacy Schaffer
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Episode 45: How Childhood Shapes Us with Stacy Schaffer
So many adults move through life believing they should be “past” what happened to them. That childhood is over. That it shouldn’t still affect them. But our early experiences don’t stay neatly tucked in the past. They quietly shape how we love, how we parent, how we handle stress, and how safe we feel being ourselves.
In this episode of Let’s Get Real, I sit down with Stacy Schaffer, a licensed professional counselor with over 20 years of experience working with children, teens, and young adults. She’s also the author of With Love from a Children’s Therapist and brings a rare dual perspective as both a clinician and a survivor of childhood trauma.
This conversation is tender, honest, and deeply relatable.
Childhood Doesn’t Stay in Childhood
Stacy shares openly about growing up in an environment marked by trauma, silence, and unmet emotional needs. When she tried to speak up as a young child, she wasn’t heard. That silence didn’t make the pain disappear. It taught her how to survive.
Like many people, Stacy learned to cope by starting over. By pushing forward. By performing well and deciding not to look back. For a long time, that strategy worked. It helped her build a life, choose a career, and appear “fine” on the outside.
But survival strategies often have an expiration date.
When childhood pain goes unacknowledged, it doesn’t fade with time. It follows us into adulthood, shaping our nervous systems, our relationships, and the stories we tell ourselves about who we have to be to stay safe.
How Childhood Trauma Shows Up Later
One of the most grounding parts of this conversation is Stacy’s explanation of what childhood trauma actually is. Trauma isn’t about comparison. It’s not about whether someone else “had it worse.” Trauma is any experience that overwhelms a child’s nervous system and changes how they understand the world.
Unprocessed childhood trauma often shows up sideways in adulthood. It can look like perfectionism, people-pleasing, emotional shutdown, anxiety, over-functioning, or constantly feeling like you have to hold everything together.
These patterns aren’t flaws. They’re adaptations. They once helped a child survive in an unsafe or unpredictable environment. The problem isn’t that these coping mechanisms exist. The problem is when we don’t know why they’re there.
When pain stays unnamed, it gets repeated.
Connect with Stacy
You can learn more about Stacy’s work, her book With Love from a Children’s Therapist, and download the first chapter for free at stacyschaffer.com.
She also shares thoughtful, grounded insights for parents and caregivers on Instagram at @hoperestored.
P.S. If this episode resonates with you, please reach out. I truly want to hear your story. You can DM me on Instagram @jenaburris or email me at jena@jenaburris.com. Your voice matters — and I’m here for you.