Change This Mindset And Achieve Anything

Fast fat loss is tempting, but we’ve seen the pattern too many times: push hard, hit a target, then watch the progress unwind. We talk honestly about why “just get to the goal” thinking fails and how most people regain weight when the process disappears. Instead of chasing a scale number or a deadline, we focus on the mindset for sustainable weight loss: becoming the kind of person whose day-to-day habits make a healthier body normal. 

We dig into identity-based change, because the labels you repeat become the limits you live inside. “I’m a mom so my body won’t change,” “I’m over 40 so I can’t train,” “I’m an emotional eater,” “weekends always ruin me” all sound like facts, but they’re often rehearsed stories that guide your choices. We explain how a stronger identity (healthy, fit, controlled around food and alcohol) makes decisions simpler, and why “I don’t do that” works better than “I’m trying.” 

Then we get practical with habits: how to pick one weak point, track it, and rack up enough wins to create real proof. We share the three-out-of-four rule for weekends, how to apply it to training or getting up early, and how to use the cue-craving-response-reward loop to break emotional eating using CBT-style tools. 

If you want fat loss that lasts, better habits around food, and real confidence you can rebuild when life gets messy, hit play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who keeps starting over, and leave a review with the identity you’re choosing to build next. What are you deciding you “don’t do anymore”?

Transcript

Welcome And Why Mindset Matters

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Okay, good evening, guys. Welcome to the Call About Mindset. Um, won't take too long. Just talk you through a few things that we need to think about when we are trying to change our bodies, change our life, change who we are. Um, mindset is one of the biggest things. You know, a lot of people will concentrate on dieting, training, um, but not many people will concentrate on the mindset of this game, and that's why we get amazing results because it's one thing that we really try and concentrate on. Um, but as much as I repeat it over and over and over again, I still have to answer the same questions about uh fat loss. So when we are listen, the majority of us are here to lose fat. Um, some here to change habits, some here to get stronger, but the majority of people like to lose fat, gain muscle, and change our shape for good. Now, if you're here for fast fat loss, you're probably in the wrong place. And I will shout this over and over and over again, and I'll tell you this over and over and over again. Because what you've got to understand about me is I've seen it all. Yeah, not that I'm fucking Mr. Miyagi in that age, but I have seen fat loss, weight loss a thousand times over. Not only that, I've done every single diet there is out there, so I've I've experienced it myself, or I've done every single diet, even to try GLP1, to see what it feels like, so I can give the right advice to people and give you my honest opinion of like this is how it feels,

The Trap Of Fast Fat Loss

SPEAKER_00 1:35

and this is the bullshit that you'll get here over here. But this is the reality of the of the situation. Um, and fast fat loss never works out. You know, we and everyone thinks that they're they're different, and everyone thinks that, oh yeah, but when if when I do it, when I get to my goal, I promise I'll I'll be able to keep it. Same people that take a Zempe. When I get there, I promise I'm about to take the medication out and everything will be fine. But we have to look at in this game, we have to look at general data, we have to look at past experience of ourselves and everyone around us. If we just look at the data itself, most people that lose weight for a goal or a target end up putting that weight back on. Case in point, remember the TV show Biggest Loser? I think it's like 90 something percent of them, 95%, even more, um, all put that weight back on. Why? Because they lost the goal for they lost the weight for a goal. So when we talk about achieving um change, we need to think about it. Most people think about it as lose, I want to be 60 kilos, so I have to diet to get to 60 kilos or 70 kilos, 80 kilos, whatever your goal is. Or I want to be slimmer, I want to be skinny, I want to be ripped, whatever it is. So I have to do this diet to get to skinny ripped, whatever number that you you've got in mind. But what real change looks like is you need to become something so that your general, your day-to-day habits allow that goal to happen naturally, and we can navigate that goal and push you in the right direction rather than go, I want to be slim, which is the result, and the process is I need to do X, Y, and Z for the process, therefore I get the result. The issue with this way is if we get the result, the process falls away. Yeah. Like if I'm going to run a marathon, I'll train for the marathon. Once the marathon's complete, unless I've got another race coming up, I probably will not run as much anymore. So rather than train for the marathon, what you need to do is become a really good runner. Yeah. And that mentality will change everything. Because then if it's a marathon, it's 10k, it's 5k. I'm just a really good runner. So I can run. I can run whatever. If you want to be in the best shape, you have to become healthy, fit, and have a good relationship with food. Obviously, we're it's a dream world and we we all we all want this. Um, but we do not want to be going for the goal. Now, some people go, I want to get this by this, I want to have this by this. And you can navigate that, yeah, like an athlete. I can navigate an athlete to peak on the day, but that I know with the athlete after that day, they're still gonna be training because they're an athlete. You know, I can navigate sports people to peak, or you know, a bodybuilder will peak for a certain day, but after that, they're still a bodybuilder, so they're gonna go bodybuild, what which is training, macros, you know, everything we do just on another level. So when we're looking at getting in shape, we need to change our identity. Now, identity is a big, we spoke about version one and version two, it's very similar. Identity is a big player in this. A lot of people will not change our identity, and that identity will keep them stuck. Some of you would have said this. I'm

Results Fade When The Process Ends

SPEAKER_00 5:10

a mom, my body will never change. I'm over 40, my this is me, my body will never change. I am addicted to sugar, I'll never be able to give it up. I like to drink with my friends, I have to drink with my friends. I can't. So them identities, what happens is you will look for success within them identities. It's very easy for a mum to stay in the shape that she is and stay not feeling comfortable if she's convinced herself that that is who she is. Yeah. It's very easy for a woman over 40 to be like, okay, I can't run, jump, train hard, lift weights, because they've limited themselves to I'm over the age of 40. Well, I could show you some 60-year-olds, like some of you seen on my social media end up at the event, they can do pull-ups. No limitations. So we have to remove these limits, yeah. And in the same way, what we have to do with that identity, if you start telling I'm fit, I'm healthy, I um I'm not a big drinker. I'm all you know, you start to say these things to yourself. What will happen is you'll start looking for success within that identity. Yeah. The person that says, um, oh, I'm trying to quit smoking, is in a worse position than the person that says, I don't smoke. I don't smoke is an identity. I'm trying to quit smoking, is someone that's doing a process to receive a result. Yeah. They will never get that. They have to work on the identity. So we know we need to shift this identity. And that identity is gonna help you. Like my identity, one of my big identities that I struggle with is Saturday, Sunday, I'm all I always ruin my diet. Yeah. Um, especially Sunday, I have a day off and it never goes to plan. And I've told myself that many, many years. So actually, what happens at the weekends, it never goes to plan because I'm quite content with the fact that that's who I am. I'm busy, I can't do my steps. There's many identities that we can keep going over and over. So we have to change identity so we go, right? We need to be this, this, this, and this to get the result no matter what. Yeah. Now, I'm not saying that you all need to start identifying as Linford Christie. Those that are from the UK might know that, or those that are over the age of 30 might know that. Um, he was an Olympic runner for the UK. Or an athlete. I'm just asking you to identify as more as a healthy person who avoids shit food because they're not 16 anymore. Um, you know, uh, tries to train, tries to benefit their body, and makes the right decision at the right time. Not someone that diets Monday to Friday and then binges at the weekend because they have no control over the food and they've told themselves that's who they are. So, how do we become this new identity? And the and the reason we want to work on identity is because we don't want to be like forcing this goal and forcing the system. Because anything fast and it's not sustainable, what happens when we get there? It all breaks down, and we don't want that. So those are that's the fat, fast, the fat, fast thoughts. So I want to get there, base, I want to push. Can I lose 10 in five weeks? It's like, yeah. What's gonna happen after you're gonna put it all back on and you're gonna be up shit's creek. So you need to be walking around in good shape rather than aiming for good shape for one day and then it all falling away. So we need habits to basically make us identify as that person, you know? Me going to the gym at five or six in the morning, well, normally six or seven, sorry. Oh, I get up at five, um, is not a thing that I actively need to do. It's

Identity Stories That Keep You Stuck

SPEAKER_00 8:55

not like I go, oh, I need to tick this box every day. And if I don't, I'm failing. It's just something I do. I wake up, I go. You know, I even had a week off last week, I had to force myself to have a week off. And this week I got up this morning, I was in the gym at a quarter past six. It's just something I naturally do. You know why? Because I've ticked that box so many times, it's become who I am. Yeah? Some of you do this with work or being a mom or whatever. You tick a box so many times, it's who you are. Some of you pick up after your partners or kids, just who you are. You've done it so many times. You pick up, but big up, that becomes who you are. My mom used to say, I'm not your slave. Maybe she was identifying as that when I was a teenager. Um, so you you these we need to tick boxes over and over and over again until it becomes our identity. Things like tracking, things like um training, all these habits that we want. Um, the more we can do them, um, the the more it becomes our identity. So when we are failing, when we are struggling, when we keep screwing up, what we need to look at is what habit is basically getting us there. Yeah. So let's say it's like every time at the weekends I I ruin my progress. Yeah, or every time I'm out, I ruin my progress. So the identity is I'm someone that can't deal with eating out, basically. What we need to do is we need to get we need to overcome this habit. Yeah, we need to be better at this habit. I need to be better at Saturday and Sunday. So, how do I become a person that nails the weekends? What I need to do is I need to start winning the weekends, and you can do this, you can break this down to so many different ways: training, dieting, steps, work, life, sex life, fucking business life, whatever. You can break it down just whatever you want, and you can break it down to a day, a week, a month, a year, you know, whatever happened, whatever time zone you want. So if I think I'm I'm not winning the weekends, let's take it for a month. Yeah, there's four, naturally four weekends in a month. To be good at weekends, I need to win them weekends. So out of four, I essentially need three. Yeah, three beats one. Two and two, I'm equal, so I can kind of argue which identity I am. But if I win the weekends, I hit three and one. I do that one month, I've got enough evidence to say, oh, I'm I'm good at the weekends. If I do that every month too, I'm really good at the weekends. If I do that every six months, I'm fucking nailing the weekends. I don't, I don't fail at weekends. Every now and again, I have a weekend off, but I smash weekends because what I've done is I've created I've built the data. Yeah. Um, so I'm good at doing that. If I want to get up earlier in the morning at 5 a.m., the first few 5 a.m. is gonna feel like shit. But as I get to, you know, let's say I'm doing seven days, five might be great, two might be shit. I'm winning the week. If I do that over and over again, all of a sudden I'm gonna be like, I'm good at getting up. Someone could say, How do you know you're good at getting up? Well, I get up five days a week, I get up at 5 a.m. Oh, yeah, you are good at getting up. So you basically are winning the habits. So it can break down to every single habit. It can break down to what you like on holidays, what you like on planes, what you like when you eat out or drink, or do you go over the top with drink? You can break this down, and you all you've got to do is win the habit. Win it because the more you can win it, it starts to change your habits. Now, you can lose every now and again, you can fuck up every now and again. That's fine because it's just one point to the other side, but we need to make sure over this side we've got more points, and this is how it becomes your identity. This is how over time you will start to become what you need to to get the results. It's the same with tracking your food

Win The Habit To Become The Person

SPEAKER_00 12:55

low calories, it's the same with um training for a race. You know, how do I get better at a marathon? I need to become a runner. Okay, so if I need to become a runner, what I need to be doing is I need to be doing three runs a week, realistically, for to be to be a decent runner. I need to get my ass out, I need to win them runs. I need to go for a run three or four times a week. And then what I need to do is I probably need to do a bit of recovery around there. So I need to start winning these habits, which what happens then? Over time, I can class myself as a runner. You know, all I need then is go down the run shop and get my running kit, and I'm a good runner, you know. Um, you you basically win these habits over and over and over again until it becomes your identity. So you need to work backwards to whatever you're struggling with. And that might be I'm a snacker at the office, I am a binger, I am I emotionally eat. Yeah, that's a really good one. I emotionally eat, I'm an emotional eater. I hear that one an awful lot. Okay, you're an emotional eater. That's the identity that you get. So, what's gonna happen is this one second, let me just get my notes. A habit works like this: you get a cue, you get a craving, you get a response, and you get a reward. Let me say that again. You get a cue, you get a craving, you get a response and a reward. The cue, I'm stressed, my manager's pissed me off, someone's done my head in. Yeah, the craving, sugar. I want to go eat some sweets and chocolate. Okay, the response, I'm gonna eat the fucking sweets and chocolate. The reward, I feel better for for a small amount of time. That there, that system is a habit. Yeah. So what we need to do is go, okay, manager pissed us off craving sugar and sweets. We need to win the response. Yeah. Now, if we say, okay, let's let's track this over 10, 10 emotional eating stages, yeah? We've got 10 of these. I need to win a good six to seven out of these ten. So every time my manager pisses me off, I need to make a little mark, did I win or did I not? Yeah. And this is taking it to a level of like really trying to overcome a habit, but some habits will be holding you down for years. So doing this work for three, four months will change your life, yeah. That cue happens, that craving happens, you need to win that response. And that response is okay, I'm not gonna emotionally eat here. You know, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna go for a walk, or I'm gonna fucking get a glass of water, I'm gonna do it. You win that response, the reward for you then will be satisfaction of, oh, I'm doing better. If you start winning that response more than you fail for it, what you then will start dealing with is I'm no longer an emotional eater. I'm someone that can control my emotions and cravings. You start to identify as a whole different person. This is the same with business, this is the same with becoming successful. People do this and live this life. You won't think it because you just think like, oh, that person's become successful. It's no, they what they've done is they've won these battles so many times that it becomes within them. I am good at rebuilding myself. I've had enough failures in my life to rebuild myself. You know how many battles of rebuild I've won? More than I've failed. So, what am I like now? I'm very confident that if shit goes wrong, I can rebuild myself. So I can class myself as a very good fucking entrepreneur from zero to a hundred. That is my identity. I can say that proudly. So I don't have fear around that. You know, I don't have fear with this going wrong or that going wrong because I know I've won that battle over and over again. Some battles I've lost, but most of the battles I've won. So it becomes my identity. The reason I train all the time is because it becomes my identity because I do I've done

The Habit Loop And Emotional Eating

SPEAKER_00 16:50

it for many, many years. The reason I can say no to alcohol is because I've said no a thousand times and I've realized it's not not part of me, so it becomes my identity. Start to find the things that are holding you back on a day-to-day, week to week, year to year for some of you. Look what you're identifying as, whether it's age, whether it's a position at work, whether it's an emotional something, whether it's uh uh something that someone's told you that you keep telling yourself, because I promise you, it is your reality because you're telling yourself that. Yeah, your bot your brain doesn't know the difference between the truth and what you're telling it. It it it it this is this is scientific, by the way, yeah. And what I'm teaching you right now is is is it's called CBT trading, yeah, cognitive behavior therapy. You're basically changing how the response of what you say. It's the same thing that people do with drugs, anxiety, depression. Like this is real changing habit stuff, yeah. You can really change things that have been holding you back for so long by practicing a different way of speaking to yourself and working on them habits, and over time it'll become a new identity for you. You know, some of you guys have been working with for years now. For example, Elizabeth's on the call again, working with for years. You know, there's some identities that just it just won't be a thing, but like she goes gym all the time. She is person that goes gym. Probably won't go to the holiday. What are you thinking about? Is there a gym? Some of you would have done fitness or health for so long, you'll it'll naturally happen. Business trip. Is there a gym there? Or oh, will I be able to track my breakfast? Oh, is it this? You know, someone that uh identifies as unhealthy, you know what they're thinking about when they go on holiday? I bet that breakfast is fucking great. Oh, I bet I wonder what the alcohol's like. You identify as that, that's what you're gonna look for, it's what your eyes are gonna go towards. Yeah, start to change your identity. Stop chasing the goal. The goal will happen naturally if your identity is in the right place. Because you'll be able to mold it. A bodybuilder can achieve any body composition result. You know why? Because they bodybuild, they're a bodybuilder, they can take instructions, they can do it, they can they can smash it. Yeah? A runner can run any race, whether it's a fast, slow, whatever. They can turn up on a day and they can go and they can do it because they're a good runner. They're not training for the race, they have a different kind of confidence. They're a good runner. An entrepreneur is great at business, not because they're trying to become a millionaire or win this thing, it's because they've just been in business long enough. They understand it, they keep doing it, it becomes their identity. Start to change that, and it will change everything for you, especially the two ones that are really, really prominent is your age and if if you're a mom. They're two

Age Myths Social Pressure And Closing

SPEAKER_00 19:55

that I hear probably the most. You know, I am my mom, my body will never be this, and I can show you a thousand bodies that that will just completely change that. You know, one of the um new clients this week, um, I think she's on the court, yeah, Jelina. She said to me, I always thought my body shape would be this now. That was like my body shape could never change until she seen Raphael, who's we all know the transformation has been ridiculous. Her whole body shape changes. So, what that did is it changed a thought process, the identity changed. She signs up with a program. She realizes that her body can change. Same with age. Just because you're over the age of 40 doesn't mean you can't do anything. You know why? Stop telling your fucking self that or stop listening to other people. Oh, you need to slow down, or you need to do that. Fuck do I need to slow down? I need to speed up right now. You know, you'll see a lot of people around you will also push their identity on you because what that does, it makes them feel better about their identity. They're big drinkers. Why aren't you drinking? You should drink, you should be one of us. Well, no, I shouldn't actually, because then I'll feel that shit when I wake up in the morning. Okay, I hope that makes sense. It's it's a it's a deep one, and it's it's you know, it's good, it takes a lot of work and it it's it's quite like uh you know a deeper topic rather than just kind of you know tracking your food and being healthy. But uh essentially, if you want a good life, give yourself a good life. If you want a healthy life, give yourself a healthy life. If you want these things, change your identity. And you might be saying to something to yourself right now, oh yeah, but this won't work for me because I'm this. Okay, you've just done it there. Change that, change it, change it, change it.