Supernaut

Softness, Strength & How to Love

• Supernaut

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What if the most radical act a parent can make is to speak softly where they once heard shouting? Emilie joins us with her daughter Halo and a simple, seismic idea: let your child become whoever they’re meant to be. From that starting point, we travel through the terrain that shaped her resolve—childhood chaos, a brother’s sudden death, and the hard, necessary decision to draw a line with an addicted parent—toward a home rebuilt on calm, clarity, and choice.

We talk through the daily craft of breaking cycles: how to slow conflict down instead of speeding it up, how to set boundaries without burning bridges, and how to grieve someone who is still alive. Emilie shares what sobriety looked like when pregnancy turned maybe into no, and how quitting weed at twelve weeks felt less like punishment and more like reclaiming time, money, and presence for Halo. She doesn’t preach; she practices—naming feelings, pausing before reacting, and creating a safer emotional climate than the one she grew up in.

Her spiritual compass is wide open. She doesn’t center a single deity; she trusts the universe as a living, connected field, uses metaphors as tools, and pays attention to small signs from loved ones gone. Along the way, we sit with body acceptance after birth, the everyday courage of living in the moment, and the mentors who helped her become strong, genuine, and purposeful. If you’re navigating trauma recovery, conscious parenting, sobriety, or redefining faith on your own terms, this conversation offers practical ways to choose peace without pretending the past didn’t happen.

If this story moved you, follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review—your words help others find their way here.

SPEAKER_03:

Welcome to Supernaut where we search the inner and outer dimensions of the self. Today I have Emily Visecki. Emily and I met when I used to bartend, and I always remember feeling such a warm feeling when I would see her come in with her big beautiful smile. And I'm so glad she's here today with it. And her baby, who I'm meeting for the first time, Halo, has the same beautiful smile as her. So I asked you to pick a song for us to listen to today. What song did you pick and why?

SPEAKER_00:

Uh no, you caught me off guard, so now I gotta remember what it was called. Um Whoever You Turn Out to Be by Luke Holmes. Um I kind of was just searching through my playlist yesterday and came across this one, and it really um spoke to me and everything. You know, my parents weren't the greatest, so I always didn't want to turn out like them. So I want the same for her and to, you know, be that role model to her to show her, like, you know, I don't care who you turn out to be, but you know, I'm excited to see, you know, what you will be and stuff. So I kind of chose that song because it spoke to me about all of that.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I love that message because the old school way of thinking was like, I want my kids to do this and have this life and this career choice. But if you can look at it as I'm so excited to find out what unique personality they have.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah, that's great.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, her name is Halo. How did you pick that name?

SPEAKER_00:

So she was unplanned. Um we were not planning to have a kid, and so when it happened, I came across this picture that said, Unplanned babies are angels sent from the heavens above. Um, so I decided me and Devin were kind of talking. I was like, Well, what about Halo? You know, she's our little angel baby sent from everyone up above, and we really like that name, and I was like, okay, that's gonna be it.

SPEAKER_03:

I didn't know that you guys were planning on not having kids as you've been together.

SPEAKER_00:

Not planning ever, just not having now.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, okay. I see. Because you guys have been together since like high school, right?

SPEAKER_00:

It'll be 11 years in December.

SPEAKER_03:

Awesome.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, so what is something that being a mom has taught you already?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh my gosh, so much patience, that's one of them. Um, but just the unconditional love um to have for a little, you know, tiny human being and understanding what your body goes through to bring this tiny little being into, you know, earth side and stuff. Um, it's really taught me how to slow down, not move so fast, you know. In life we are just constantly, constantly moving. So she has really showed me how to um slow down in life and just take everything one step at a time and don't take anything for granted. And um yeah, I mean, it's amazing, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_03:

So, yeah, you've said you've had some difficulties in life, abuse from your dad, um, being removed from your home when you were a teenager for domestic violence. Um, so how are you parenting differently now?

SPEAKER_00:

Um, I think the main thing is with me and Devin, because he was like at the end, he saw the brunt of everything, but he also saw the end of a lot of it too. And I think that really showed us like how to communicate without screaming at each other and physical abuse and stuff. Um and you know, I grew up in a home that constantly was screaming, so I try not to do any of that. Um when we have, you know, conversations that are in depth, it's like we just sit down and talk about it and we don't raise our voice at each other and do you have to consciously make sure that you don't?

SPEAKER_03:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00:

Yep, yep. It is something that I've had to learn um over time and stuff, but I think now like being out of my parents' care for so long, it's become like second nature just to like be calm and not do it and understand like I don't have to communicate that way.

SPEAKER_03:

Do you have a relationship with your parents now?

SPEAKER_00:

With my mom I do, with my dad I do not.

SPEAKER_03:

They're separated?

SPEAKER_00:

Yep. Um, so I let's see, it's been I would say two months now that I went completely in all contact with my dad. Um, I blocked him off everything before she was born. Um, and he's still struggling with his addiction with alcohol and stuff. And um before she was born, he just was all over the place and saying that he was gonna show up at the hospital unannounced, he was gonna this, he was gonna that, you know. She she's she's the families and this and that. And I'm like, okay, like I put a stop to it.

SPEAKER_03:

You have no ownership over my child.

SPEAKER_00:

I was like, that's not gonna happen. He tried to say to my brother when they went over there for a cousin's thing, because my cousins came up from Illinois, and um, he tried to say that he was gonna show up at my house unannounced. I was two weeks postpartum. I was like, that's not happening, like nobody's coming over right now. We're kind of you know, just keeping it to ourselves right now. Like, I'm still healing, we're still learning. Like, no, nobody's coming over.

SPEAKER_03:

And the last thing you need is that drama.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yep. And he was trying to say, you know, I can do do what I want when I want, blah blah blah blah blah. I was like, no, this ain't happening. Well then he ended up going to jail in June, um, around his birthday, and I kind of just shared a joke thing on Facebook and it ticked him off. I was like, whatever, if you can't take a joke, you know, well, that's your fault, I guess. Um, and he started, you know, combating underneath it, and then started messaging me from midnight that night all the way until four o'clock in the morning. And the last message was, How would you like if Kenaba County showed up at your place? Threatening CPS. I was like, I am a month postpartum. I was like, Don't even try me. So I didn't even entertain it, didn't feel the fire, and I blocked him um off of uh Facebook Messenger, Facebook, all of that, and then I deleted his number. Well, then he kept messaging me off of his number, and I'm like, I'm just over it. I was like, I'm not, I'm not entertaining it. Um sent him one last message and I was like, if you can't reach out to me and ask me how I'm doing, but you criticize me, or not criticize me, but you like you say dumb things to me at four o'clock in the morning about something that's no longer relevant at this point. I'm just I'm done. Like I'd I blocked him off of everything. He can't contact me. I want nothing else to do with him.

SPEAKER_03:

Is there a grieving process that's going on with us then?

SPEAKER_00:

Yep. Yep. I am grieving his loss now, but it's more so I was I knew it was coming. I knew it was gonna come. So it's gonna make it easier when he does eventually pass away.

SPEAKER_03:

That um because the alcoholism will take him soon. Yeah. When did the abuse start in your home?

SPEAKER_00:

Um I would say, you know, he was sober for 10 years. Um, this was years ago though. So like he he re um recovered for a little bit and then relapsed. So from the time I was yay big, you know, I was probably I don't even think I was in grade school yet. I remember screaming at him, stop throwing things at my mom, stop doing this to my mom. I remember calling the cops on him, being yay big, and waking up in the middle of the night because him and my mom are just arguing back and forth because you know, he came home drunk from the bar. Um and then I would say probably after my brother passed away in 2011, that's when things really started like getting worse again.

SPEAKER_03:

So was he sober?

SPEAKER_00:

He was sober, yep. He was sober before all of that. Um, as far as we know, I mean he started working out in North Dakota again. But then yeah, he was sober after that. Then he lost his job in North Dakota because of a DWI. Um, and then he came home and it just sparked it. And my mom started drinking. She was never a drinker, you know. She maybe drank on occasions, but she was never a drinker. But as a kid, you don't notice certain things, but she was always an addict. She was addicted to always something. Rather, it was, you know, um methamphetamines, marijuana, whatever she could get her hands on. But as a kid, you're blindsided by it. You're like, oh, my mom's still taking care of me, you know?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, and you don't know what it's like in other houses.

SPEAKER_00:

No, no, no. So um, but then yeah, it started again, and he would um he would abuse my older brother, which isn't his kid. Um, and then once he moved out of the house, then it, you know, went down the line. Then he would abuse my brother Jeremiah. And then, you know, when he would get drunk and my mom and him would be fighting, him and my mom would get into it. And I I just remember all the time, like, if he was drunk, you better just stay in your room, don't bother him, let him do his thing, because otherwise something's gonna spark his evil side of him, and there he goes.

SPEAKER_03:

Um what was he like in the 10 years of s sobriety?

SPEAKER_00:

Um I guess I can't I remember certain things. I remember him always taking us camping. We'd always go camping. I mean, we would he used to take us to Florida, um, and we would go on family trips and stuff like that. But like there's a lot of things that I guess maybe from the trauma that I can't really remember. You know, I feel like I always yearned for that father during that time, and I remember him telling me that that person's gone. So I'm like, okay, well.

SPEAKER_03:

So he even knows himself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

And then yeah, the unbearable accident with your brother.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. I was 12 years old. Um, I just got in from hunting in the same stand. I ended up falling asleep, so I'm like, whatever, I'm going inside. Woke up, I was like, I ain't seen nothing, obviously.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So I woke up, went inside, and um him and his girlfriend were like, okay, we're gonna go out. You know, they got all all ready, and I remember sitting in front of my mom. My mom was sitting on the couch, and I remember sitting on the floor and I was painting my nails, I think I was, um, and we heard a gunshot. I was like, oh, you know, my mom's like, hopefully he got one. I was like, well. And I remember this years later, I'm like, maybe he got himself. I'm like, how did like thinking of that? That yeah, and then you know, probably I would say five minutes later, his girlfriend comes running in the house and was like, Jeremiah shot himself, Jeremiah shot himself. So we all ran out there. My mom, back in this day, we had house phones. So she grabbed the house phone, called 911. Well, she jumped in her car to drive out to there to the stand. I took off running. I jumped on the stairs, I took off running, and I was the first one back to the stand. Um, and when I got to the stand, I all I remember seeing, because it was a two-person stand, and all I remember seeing is him hunched over, face like kind of like face down, pretty much on the stand um seat, and all I hear is uh So then Summer got there right after me, and she was like, What do I do? What do I do? I was like, Well, he can't breathe. I could just tell he couldn't breathe, couldn't breathe. There's blood dripping down the stand, down the stairs. You could, you know, bluntly see it all. And then she gets up there on the stand, because I was about to climb up there at 12 years old. I don't know what I'm doing, but I knew he couldn't breathe. I knew something was wrong. So then she pulled me down um from the stand and she was like, okay, I told her I was like, he can't breathe, he needs CPR, you need to go up there. She went up there, and by the time, like, I'm sure by the time we got back there, he was already gone. But by the time she got up there, he was done like making that noise, done breathing. And so I ran back to the house because my mom gave me the house phone and I was like, I can't reach him. She was too far away from the receiver. So I ran back to the house, got close enough to the receiver, and then got on the um call with 911 again, and they were, you know, asking me all these questions, and I remember seeing two squad cars coming down the road. Um, they came into our or our yard, they picked my little brother up to have that him direct them. And at this time, he's I mean, we're five years apart, so I was 12, he was six, seven, something like that. Um, so he hopped in the back of the squad car and directed them back to the stand. And you know, they knew they knew he was gone. He succumbed to, or I think that's the word, um, his injuries and stuff. And uh yeah, so from there I stayed back because there was this other lady, I don't know where she was from. There was this other lady that came, but she made sure me and my little brother like didn't run back there anymore. Um, well then I started calling everyone. I called my brother because he was working out in North Dakota. My dad's on his way home from North Dakota, so I called my dad. My dad's like, well, is he okay? Is he like I was like, I don't know, dad. I have no idea. I just know he shot himself. Um, called my grandma, called his girlfriend's parents. Um well, actually, I called both my grandmas because my other grandma was still alive at that time, and you know, all those people came to the house and stuff, and then hours later, I don't know how many hours later, because I wasn't paying attention, but then hours later, yeah, they came up to us and they were like, he didn't survive. So, you know, at 12 years old, I was like, like, what is going on? Um, and then that whole week we were just getting ready for his funeral and um getting all his all everything ready from the pro PowerPoint video of all his pictures, um, to picking out music to figuring out who's gonna be doing what, um the pall bears and uh my mom was picking out like his clothes and stuff, and um yeah, I mean it's insane.

SPEAKER_03:

It's insane what can go on during just that one week of once someone passes, and yeah, I think maybe there's like a grace period of you don't really realize what's going on that first week while you're making the plans and everything, and then really hits after.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, for sure. Um I know because school was going around that time, and I believe me and my little brother we didn't go to school for two to three weeks, I think it was. And the school obviously knew and understood why and stuff. Um but as soon as we got back, we saw the outpouring love that everybody had for him. They decorated, you know, his locker, they made a poster for him, they you know, came up to because I was in the high school at that time, they came up to me and just told me how sorry they were and if they or if I need anything to always reach out to them. Even the teachers, they're like, we know, like years after they're like, we know this time is hard for you, so if you need some time, take it. Um and yeah, uh, it'll be 14 years. Yeah, 14 years in November, November 7th.

SPEAKER_03:

Coming up. What has helped you the most in the healing process?

SPEAKER_00:

Um, I think at first, you know, I was 12 years old, and so understanding like what healing is and what grieving is, it was really hard for me. Um, definitely now that I'm older and since probably I would say since I was 16, 17, I just understood that, you know, he's gone, but he's not really gone. I can still talk to him, I can still, you know, scream to him and know that he's there, and he does show signs that he is there and stuff. So I just look out for those signs and stuff. Um, and just try to, you know, keep telling myself, I'm like, I'm gonna see him again, you know. It's not forever, it's just for right now. It does suck because I never got to say goodbye, and me and him were only three years apart, so he was like that cl really close sibling to me. Um but I just know that he wouldn't want me mourning his loss, um, and he wouldn't want me to continue to be sad. He wants me to be happy and to move on, and I'll see him I'll see him in the heavens above.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Um, if he was here now and seeing you in your life and seeing you with your baby, what do you think he would say?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, he I think, you know, he'd be telling me, I'm proud of you, sister. You know, you're doing what we all wanted in life. You won't, you know, you're being the parent that we all wanted in life. And you're, you know, really you're doing it. You're making that life for your baby.

SPEAKER_03:

So And as the abuse uh continued, was there times where maybe you were mad at him that he wasn't there with you?

SPEAKER_00:

Mm-hmm. Yeah, because he became the dad of the situation. Um, you know, once once dad was out of town in North Dakota working, he, you know, became that person that took care of us. You know, it was us three. My older brother was out there too working and stuff and making his, you know, life for his family and his kids, and then, you know, it was us kids left at home. Um, and I remember telling or not telling, I remember Jeremiah telling my mom, we were in the car one time on the way home, and he's like, You need to get your shit together. Like, something needs to happen here. So, you know, he he passed away at 15. That he was probably 14 at the time, like telling my mom, like, come on now.

SPEAKER_03:

He was the adult at 14.

SPEAKER_00:

Yep. And then after he passed, then it was just me and my little brother, and then I was the one raising him and raising me and taking care of things and making sure the house is clean, making sure we have food. My mom was still doing it a little bit, but there was times I'd show up from school at three o'clock in the afternoon, and she's passed out on the couch, drunk already. So I'm like, okay, Luke, let's, you know, do what we gotta do. Luckily, he had a friend that lived right down the road, so he always went and hung out with them. I just chilled in my room, you know, did my homework, did whatever teenage kids do at the time. Um, and then then my dad, yeah, my dad lost his job and he came home, and it feels like everything else like all hell broke loose.

SPEAKER_03:

So you recently just went or you're at a year with no alcohol. Like, what do you think was different about you that you didn't keep um this continuing for the next generation?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so the main thing that really started it is I got pregnant. So from there, I kind of was like, okay, well, I was never really a big drinker, anyways. Alcohol just never agreed with me. I had really bad acid reflex, I'd wake up just throwing up. So I'm like, what's the point? Like, I don't need to have fun and then make me feel sick. Um, and so I ended up getting pregnant, and I was like, okay, well, can't be drinking no matter if it's occasionally or whatnot anymore. Um, I know. And then so stop that. Weed was really the harder one for me. Um, I smoked up until I was 12 weeks pregnant. Um, and then something just clicked. I was like, okay, well, like, why am I still smoking even though I'm pregnant? So knowing, you know, there's not really many statistics that say that, you know, it harms the baby, but I'm like, okay, I don't need anything anymore. Let's try. I haven't been smoking since I was 16. No breaks, no nothing. You know, smoking once I wake up, smoking on break at work, smoking on my way home, and it's an hour drive. So I'm like, okay, like I'm high by the time I get home.

SPEAKER_03:

And you are a very functional smoker.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yep. Very functional smoker. I still did things, still cleaned my house, still went to work, still did everything I needed to do.

SPEAKER_03:

Because that's not me. I smoke before I'm ready to relax and be uh done for the night. I can't smoke and get things done.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yep. Yeah, so it was very different for me. I, you know, I was smoking all day long, still doing my regular things. Um, and mainly when I was doing it at the beginning of pregnancy is I was just trying the morning sickness. Yeah. It really helped with that. Um, so I'm like, okay, well, it's helping, you know, whatnot. And then I was like, okay, well, like morning sickness is over with. I'm why am I smoking? And it felt like I was getting more paranoid at that time because I feel like I was getting more in my head, like, oh, I'm smoking, but I'm pregnant. Like, what am I doing here? Um, so I finally just called it quits, cold turkey, stop smoking. Devin still smoked. Like, I I yearned for the smell, you know, but I didn't ask for a hit. I didn't ask him to pass it to me.

SPEAKER_03:

Once you made the decision, you were just done. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00:

Yep, just done. Cut it off.

SPEAKER_03:

How do you think you did that?

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know. I have no idea.

SPEAKER_03:

Wow. But you said it was difficult.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it will I mean it is still difficult. I still, you know, we still have all of our pieces, and now Devin is completely done too. He we ha or he hasn't smoked in a few months either, so it's like we still have all our stuff. I still smell it every once in a while.

SPEAKER_03:

What made him decide?

SPEAKER_00:

Um, I think like the big thing was her. Um, he's like, I don't want to be doing that anymore. And then I think another big thing is his job, they got bought out by a company and they sent him a paper on like randoms, and he's like, Well, like, I'm trying to better myself. I'm not about to get kicked out of this because I'm smoking. Which I don't feel like they would care about it too much, just because I mean it is legal now, but it's still, you know, it's something that they would probably look for. But yeah, he just he ended up stopping too. There was a few times where he'd smoke every once in a while, and even still he'll like take a hit every once in a while, but it's not like how we were. We were, I mean, for a few years we were smoking at least five blunts a day, then smoking, you know, our pieces and bongs and you know, doing the wax, and I'm like, okay, like this enough is enough.

SPEAKER_03:

Just clear up some space, yeah. All that time, all that energy and money can go towards her now.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

But I would think if I had heard uh your story, I would think that you were using weed as a coping mechanism, but it doesn't sound like it was. Maybe if you were able to quit.

SPEAKER_00:

At the beginning it was. Um, I think definitely at the beginning it was, you know, my coping mechanism um to get me kind of my mind off of other things. Um, but then I feel like it just became like, you know, somebody with cigarettes. Like, I'm gonna have a smoke, I'm gonna have a smoke. And it just ended up becoming like an addiction, but wasn't an addiction, because I, you know, I could st could have stopped at any time. I just chose not to. Um, so then yeah, I don't know. She just she did something to me that made me, you know, want to be better.

SPEAKER_03:

I asked you what you believed in spiritually, and you said it was different than most people. So will you tell me about it?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so I don't believe in God. I don't believe in Jesus. I don't believe that there is a higher power that created everything. I believe that the universe is real, the universe is have something in store for all of us. Um, but I don't feel like there is one spirit spiritual being that gave up their child for everyone else and had their child die for everyone. Um I believe that there is a heaven, there is a hell, um, there is afterlife after this, but I feel like the universe is in control of everything.

SPEAKER_03:

Like the universe is alive and all connected.

SPEAKER_00:

Mm-hmm. Yep.

SPEAKER_03:

Maybe do you think that the Bible is maybe a metaphor? Somebody wrote a metaphor for the universe. Like, do you find similarities? Because that's me. Like I use the Bible as a tool a lot. I like a lot of different teachings. Yeah. But I think of it more in metaphors.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yep, I agree. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03:

Awesome. So, do you do anything to practice um spirituality? Any rituals that you have or anything?

SPEAKER_00:

Not rituals. Um, I collect like crystals um and do like that stuff, but no rituals or anything. I mean, I've looked them up and I've kind of like glanced at them and stuff. Um, and I like the witchy woo stuff, but I've never like practiced it or anything.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Yeah. Um, I saw you post it on Facebook. It said, I changed my thinking, it changed my life. Can you tell me how what you thought you changed about your thinking?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Um, I think like the big thing is just understanding like there's so much that goes on in life, and that no matter what somebody is going through that day, just be kind. You know, you don't have to be rude to them just because you're having a bad day or you know, something like that. And um just like changing your wavelength, you know? The way you think and the way you act, and um yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm lucky that I've never really had road rage, but when somebody does um bother me when I'm driving, I'm always just like you have no idea what kind of day they're having, where they're trying to get, maybe they just got fired. Yeah, maybe they're on their way to their wife is in labor. Yeah, I mean, so it's just very easy for me to be kind in that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And know that be kind in the way that knowing that everybody's going through something. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00:

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, so last week I asked you to give me a list of names and numbers of people I could contact to describe you and six or seven adjectives. So it's very um unsurprising what your first word was. Do you have any guesses?

SPEAKER_00:

Um, not really. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, first word is strong. Almost everyone used the word strong and tough and brave and resilient, determined, independent, and stubborn.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Where do you think you got so strong from?

SPEAKER_00:

Um, I think like the biggest thing um is honestly my role models. A big one is um my brother that passed away, his girlfriend. Um, she was really someone that, you know, shout out Summer. Yep. Um, she definitely was really someone that I looked up to and continue to look up to. Um, she's been through, you know, so much too. And me and her just we resemble each other a lot on certain things. Um, so she really helped me, you know, get through a lot of it. Um, and she I don't know where she finds these words, but she finds the right words to tell you. Um and you kind of need that person that gives you that tough love, but also is like looking out for you too. Um, and she definitely is the person that helped me through a lot of it.

SPEAKER_03:

Anybody else role models?

SPEAKER_00:

Um I would say she's the big one. Um she definitely is like number one. She pushed me to be better. That's great.

SPEAKER_03:

Your second word is genuine or genuine. I don't know how you say it.

SPEAKER_00:

I think it's genuine.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, the words were rare, true, authentic, transparent, grounded, accepting, humble, and dignified. And your third word is devoted. Lots of people use the word devoted and kind, but also nurturing, empathetic, caring, compassionate, dedicated, and loving. And fourth word is purposeful, with words like ambitious, practical, mature, and dependable. And then the fifth word is radiant with words like rare, beautiful, luminous, confident, and positive. And your brother Luke said that I could say this. He said, You're a pain in the ass. But the best mother, and you wear your heart on your sleeve, you go above and beyond for the ones that you love and are all around a great person.

SPEAKER_02:

Uh-uh.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, so what do you do right now that you hope your grandchildren do when they're your age?

SPEAKER_00:

Um live in the moment.

SPEAKER_03:

Are you really good at that?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I am really good at that. You know, even now having her, um, you know, things are hard. She's screaming, she's, you know, crabby, she's fussy. I just live in the moment. I'm like, okay, I understand. Like, it's okay. I'm crying too. Like, we're gonna get through it and you know, just kind of cherish it. You know, it's gonna be gone soon. She's already four months old, and it's like, oh, I want my newborn back.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Well, and she seems older than four months with her facial expressions and everything. But yeah, I think that can elevate people so much when you're in those hard times that you're like, I could go without the cries, without the fussing. If you learn to live in that moment, it makes every moment more beautiful, the beautiful moments more beautiful.

SPEAKER_00:

No, for sure. That's so great.

SPEAKER_03:

You're so lovely. Is there anything that you do that you hope that they don't do? You have any vices?

SPEAKER_00:

Um that's a hard one.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I would say I think like my biggest one is understanding that my body changed and that it's okay. I created life. Um be an accepting of yourself. Be an accepting, yeah, of yourself and don't be so hard on yourself. People are gonna be, you know, how they are and say what they you know want and stuff, but at the same token, too, don't take those words to heart. You know exactly who you are and what you're set out to be and who you're set out to be. Um, and just be accepting.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I'm almost 40, and so I have so many friends already 40 or a couple years in, and they're all saying that yeah, once you hit 40, like you start to love your body so much. So hopefully the younger generation can just learn from us. Veda, where's your mic? So far away. Um, yeah, I mean, I hope the more that we talk about that, the more um the younger people can start realizing. Yeah, for sure. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about today? Anything else you want to share about spirituality or what it's been like not drinking? I mean, is it just freed up lots of space? Do you think you'll ever go back?

SPEAKER_00:

Maybe. Like, I mean, I've taken s accidental sips. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, I did it at my little brother's wedding because I thought it was my Dr. Pepper. It was not my Dr. Pepper. And it was not good. So I don't know, maybe. I don't know. We'll see. Yeah. I think right now, especially with breastfeeding, I mean, you can you can drink and breastfeed at the same time, but it's like I I don't want to chance it. Um, I'd rather just not. I know. Rather just not, and maybe eventually once she's grown up, I'll have a couple, but even when I wasn't big into drinking, I'd just have a couple.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I never saw you get wild at the bar. I always literally did feel so comforted when you came in because you're so calm, and I knew whoever was coming in to meet you was going to be cool and calm. Yeah, like you weren't bringing a rowdy bunch. So it always brought me try to see you.

SPEAKER_00:

Definitely not a rowdy one, not a rowdy one. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, I'm so proud of you, and thank you so much for coming on and sharing all of this.

SPEAKER_00:

Of course, of course. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, and thank you, Halo. I have that song stuck in my head now. The Halo song.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so thank you.

SPEAKER_03:

Bye bye.