Soul Food & Feeding Your Fire

Two songs set the vibe, but the real rhythm here is a life rebuilt from a kitchen. We sit down with a scratch cook who feeds thousands at an environmental learning center and refuses to compromise on clean labels, local sourcing, and simple ingredients. From organic greens grown in a hoop house to uncured hot dogs with short ingredient lists and farm raised beef, we explore how everyday food choices can honor the body and the land—and why integrity matters more than perfection.

The conversation widens into the myths and traps wrapped around food: the residue of old pyramids, the pull of comfort eating, and the power of strategic fasting to quiet the constant noise around meals. Then we go deeper. Addiction is named without flinching—meth, relapse, jail—and so is the slow work of healing. Teen Challenge becomes a turning point, not as a rulebook but as heart surgery: praying for people you don’t like, forgiving yourself in the mirror, and stepping out of bitterness one honest practice at a time.

Faith shows up as relationship rather than rhetoric, with room for mystics, seekers, and anyone who leads with feeling. We talk about aging as a privilege, “taking the trip” while you still can, and unhooking identity from work. There’s practical money talk—saving early, getting out of debt—alongside a warm embrace of AI as a creative collaborator that amplifies, not replaces, human craft. By the end, you’ll hear a love letter to resilience: cook with care, laugh often, stand for what matters, and let grace rewrite the story you thought was finished.

If this conversation moved you, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway—what trip are you taking next?

Transcript

Songs And Setting The Vibe

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Amy is so spicy that she demanded two songs today. Kiki or how does it know what is it? Let's have a Kiki. Let's Have a Kiki by the Scissor Sisters and Please Please Please by Sabrina Carpenter. Why did you pick these songs?

SPEAKER_06 0:15

I mean uh Sabrina Carpenter I've I've listened to for a couple years, but they're just great songs, like just to get like the party started or just to get you in some kind of mood where they're just great songs. Just great songs.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

Yeah, they got us in a great mood.

From Salad Bar To Scratch Chef

SPEAKER_06 0:29

Yep, yeah, they're great songs for sure.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

Um, so I have a lot of great chefs in my family, but every meal I've ever had of yours just blows my mind. Where did you get this skill from, this cooking ability that you have?

SPEAKER_06 0:44

I mean, I guess my first job was like a salad girl when I was 14 in northeast Minneapolis and uh salad girl.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Yeah, filling up the salad bar.

Osprey Wilds And Feeding Thousands

SPEAKER_06 0:53

Like that little jack's back then, like you even wrapped anchovies in a pea, you know, in an olive, like that one on top of Caesar Salad. Like it was just a different world then. And then I worked at Perkins and I worked at Cattle Company, and then I moved up north and got to do kind of a little bit of your own stuff because the scratch cooking place is different. And then when I started at Osprey Wilds 10 years ago, like that's kind of what happened.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

Osprey Wilds and Sandstones, the bird sanctuary place.

SPEAKER_06 1:20

Yeah, I mean it's not really a bird sanctuary, it's more of a a school and educational learning center. We just have some birds. Um, but yeah, it's that's just kind of when you have like a scratch cooking environment where you can kind of do whatever you want, like you can do whatever you want.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

Yeah, and you just learn that you're really good at editing, you can trust yourself.

SPEAKER_06 1:39

I yep, yep.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

Because how many people a week do you cook for there?

SPEAKER_06 1:44

I mean, for the month of October, because we just had like this board meeting and they asked you, like, what is your department done? I was like, just count up how many meals we done. And we did 4,900 meals in, you know, from beginning from October 1. And you were at women's wellness, right? So some of the meals are five, you know, like a lot of stuff, and some of the meals are kids. Like we so I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

That's super intense.

SPEAKER_06 2:09

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

Mm-hmm. Um, I saw a meme the other day that made me think of you. It was if you're trying to impress me with your vehicle, it better be a food chat.

unknown 2:21

Right.

SPEAKER_06 2:22

Well then, right? Um, yes, yeah, yes, I think it should be. I think 100% it should be. Yep. With zero control issues, and then you just sit back and we'll just make a bunch of money.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:32

And it'll be perfect.

Dreaming Up A Farm-To-Fork Food Truck

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Yeah, that'd be great. If you had your own food truck, what kind of food would it be?

Clean Labels, Local Sourcing, And Standards

SPEAKER_06 2:40

I mean, I'd want a farm to fork food truck. Like I'd want a you know, a sustainably ethically sourced um food truck. And I mean, my kid would say to uh to have it be all vegan, and and I get that, but I also learned as when we went down to to that, you know, do we dad where like literally if you're gonna have a vegan food truck, that's it. You have a vegan food truck. No, because people I mean, you can say whatever you want, but people don't really believe that you know you're standing up with integrity, like, nope, that spoon's never been in meat, right? Like, because what if you're busy and you just grab a spoon and you're actually like, oh my god, I put that in meat. You know what I'm saying? Like, there's just ways where things can screw up. So I think you have to maybe have both. I mean, I could have a food truck where I had a I had a menu and people could just pick what they wanted, and then I'd just show with my food truck, you know, and I could, but I could, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

Because the food at Asperry Wilds is like pretty organic, all organic. You can't really pass something about that.

SPEAKER_06 3:39

But yeah, also I get to, I mean, I order from sustainably places like Holm and Chicken, like there's some different places, you know, and I don't know what you can say in names you can say, but I make sure that the companies that I order from we research and like we get all of our eggs locally from a there's like a locally laid place right up that we get our eggs from. Upper Lake Foods is pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 3:59

And you know, I just went to the food show last week.

SPEAKER_06 4:01

Me too.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

I just thought I was gonna be able to eat for like 45 minutes, but no, after 10 minutes, I was like sick. I was so full. I ate so much, it was so good.

SPEAKER_06 4:11

Yeah, I went there right away. I was there right away because there's a grad sale in the morning where you can get all kinds of great stuff.

SPEAKER_01 4:16

Yeah, yeah, because we've gotten passionate, impassionate conversations before about how food is poison.

SPEAKER_05 4:22

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

So you're really passionate about making sure it's really good, healthy food there for everybody that comes. Because it's like we go for women's wellness, our kids come from school groups to learn about the environment. So, like, at least while they're there, you want to make sure that they're eating the healthiest food possible.

Food Chemicals, Myths, And Fasting

SPEAKER_06 4:37

Yes, yes. I do not, I try to buy um, for the most part, clean labels. Yes, yes, I do serve chicken strips. Um, you know, I do serve hot dogs, but they're uncured, um, 100% beef, good hot dogs that only have very few ingredients in them. You know, our our beef is ethically sourced, and we get it from um a farm locally at Medicine Creek, and then it goes up to Surgeon Lake to get butchered. That's where our beef comes from. So we try. Our lettuce is organic all summer from about May until mid-November. We have lettuce that comes from our hoop house, which has nothing on it. I mean, with that comes ground scrolls and all kinds of great other things, you know, other little things you have to try to figure out that uh the wildlife doesn't eat all your food. But yeah, we try. We definitely try.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

Because you told me one time that like frogs are changing sex because of all the plastic.

SPEAKER_06 5:28

Um, no, it's from atrazine. From what? Atrazine. What's that? It's um it's a chemical that they spray on food.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

How are the frogs getting affected by it?

SPEAKER_06 5:39

They however however it happens, right? Like whether it's your water, whether it's where they hibernate, because it's not like they fly south, right? So that I I mean I haven't done enough research. Like literally, uh, sometimes it's hard just to survive the moment, let alone thinking about yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 5:56

Yep. And that and there's a lot. Like there's a lot, like they there's a lot of stuff going on. Well, they just they've been poisoning our food for years. And they told us, you know, everything was okay, but nobody knows until you get farther on down the road, right? Like, you don't see when you just develop something, you don't see the aftermath, the outcome until many years later.

SPEAKER_02 6:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 6:15

I mean, sugars, like I I worked at a hospital where I argued with the dietitian, you know, because she wanted she fed them like chicken that was straight out of a like a Swanson chicken box. Like the the sodium was in the list of ingredients was this long, and like that was fine, but cantaloupe was not because they're on a low carb diet. And I'm just like, that's not that's not the carbs that you need to be worried about. It's not you need your body needs some simple sugars too, right? It's just the way it is. Cantaloupe wouldn't grow if we weren't supposed to eat it.

SPEAKER_01 6:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 6:45

Right. Right? Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

Well, I'm upset about the food pyramid, but I'm also upset about like that you're supposed to eat three meals a day. Like, where did that science come from? Because all the technology and everything, or all the studies and things that I'm reading right now is like fasting is what's best for your body, it's just giving your body a break. And so I think it was like, yeah, eat three meals a day so that you're more addicted to food and that you need to eat more. We're like fasting makes so many people feel better.

SPEAKER_06 7:13

I mean, if you look at the in the farmer aspect of it, they usually ate supper. That was it. Right? Maybe they had a couple cup of coffee, cups of coffee, you know, whatever, something super small in the morning, gone. They have once, you know. I mean, like literally we have everything has changed, and food is comfort. Right. Right? So if you're stuck in an apartment or something in the city, or you're just the next generation of living where you never really embrace the outdoor, whatever. I don't, I don't know what that looks like, but that's just what you do. Like you eat and then you eat again and then you eat again.

SPEAKER_01 7:51

And my mind is so much less cluttered when I only eat one time a day, too, because like otherwise 30 to 40 percent of my day is thinking about what I'm gonna eat. Yeah, that's you know, so like I don't know if I understand that, but you don't think all day about your next meal?

SPEAKER_06 8:06

Like, no, I'm no, because you know why? I'm already cooking all day. No, yeah, no, yeah. I had like some cucumbers today. That's in no, I'm sure I had something else.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Um, okay, so I've been telling myself for eight days in a row now, or eight days in a row, I've looked in the mirror before I started my day and told myself I love myself because somebody else, I guess from a couple weeks ago, Matthew, said he does that. And then you said you did that for a long time. Or still do it. I did, I forgive you. In the mirror, looking at myself? Yeah. What'd you have to forgive yourself for?

SPEAKER_06 8:45

I mean, I've done I've done some things. I was in teen challenge when when that happened, right? I need to forgive myself for like what I did to my kids for the fact that I didn't love myself and that meth addiction was something that I wanted to take on. Like just all of that, when you look back, especially as you get older, you start to realize how many things you did and choices you made, and you know, the amount of like poison you put in your body, whether it's stress or a bad relationship or whatever, and how much of a lack of love it is for who you are or yourself, right? Like it it all stems to a heart condition, which you don't really realize that. And if you can't forgive yourself, like and you'll never say some of the stuff that you say to yourself to anybody else, like never.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

I mean, yeah, so you would slap your friends for saying that about themselves.

SPEAKER_06 9:33

I don't know if I'd slap them because I'm jail for that, but yeah. No, but no, yeah, I mean, you just wouldn't. And we forget that we're our own best friend, like we are all we got.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

Yeah, how did I hear it said one time that you you only get this one body to take care of? Like, you are the you're the caretaker of this body, like be nice to it. Nobody else is taking care of it. Like you only have one person that you really have to take care of. Just one, yourself.

SPEAKER_06 10:07

Yeah. So I mean, I threw a couple kids in the mix, you threw a kid in the mix, and I wasn't always the best uh the best human for those kids. You know, I just wasn't.

SPEAKER_01 10:18

What was your brain's drug of choice?

SPEAKER_06 10:21

Uh methamphetamine. That's you're fine. Methamphetamine's was fine. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

How long did you have that addiction for?

SPEAKER_06 10:32

From time I was like 22 until I was about 27. And then like 10 years later for about a year and a half, and I went to teen challenge.

SPEAKER_01 10:42

So when you got sober that first time, how did you do that? Because then you were sober f from it for 10 years.

SPEAKER_06 10:47

Yeah, I lost my kids. My kids went and lived with my mom. I went through treatment.

SPEAKER_01 10:52

How many times did you go to treatment?

SPEAKER_06 10:54

Uh I went to one outpatient and then one long-term. Like eight months awayside, and I lived in their sober housing. Child protection left my life. I relapsed for about five months with my kids and my mom's. Got a job at Rob's way back in the day. That was it.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

What caused the relapse?

SPEAKER_06 11:14

Uh shit.

SPEAKER_01 11:16

Had you just never healed from the first time completely?

SPEAKER_06 11:19

No, I just got involved with a dude. And like he was super mean when he drank, and I knew what made me mean. And because I had never done some serious healing about, you know, just around codependency, like the thought of like leaving, you know what I mean, wasn't like, oh nope, I know what I'll do. We had bought a house, you had bought and what I should have done at that moment is left. First time he kicked in the door, right? But I didn't. And then I relapsed. And same thing. No car, you're in fucking jail. Like, you know, it's just a fucking nightmare. I broke my back, I got in a car accident. Yeah, it was just it's the same thing over and over again. How'd you get out of it that time? I went I went through teen challenge. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. It healed my heart. Like you get like it heals the deep parts of your heart that make you want to self-sabotage and destroy your life. Right?

SPEAKER_01 12:08

Is there any risk of you going back again?

SPEAKER_06 12:11

No. No. No. I mean, I've I've drank a little bit too much after my mom died, especially. Like that was a rough time, but no. No, I have zero desire to ever do anything like besides like there's fentanyl and everything now. People die.

SPEAKER_02 12:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 12:26

People die. And I'm and I'm gonna be 50.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 12:30

Right?

unknown 12:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 12:30

Like at some point you have to just grow up a little. Or not. Not everybody does. I just think I have to. Not everybody does. Everybody gets to do whatever they want. I love people right where they are. That's my disclaimer. I could care less. I don't want to do it with you. But uh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 12:45

I have zero desire.

SPEAKER_01 12:46

Well, we probably only started hanging out, I mean, like this year or so. But like I feel like I've told you before, you're one of the healthiest people that I know. Like level-headed, got your shit together.

SPEAKER_06 12:58

You should probably should take that out. Because you might be like, Beth has lost her mind. But I I mean, I've been there. I've done, I've done some things, I've survived a lot of things. Like, I've shown up for myself and people.

Prayer, Bitterness, And Healing Anger

SPEAKER_01 13:13

But like one of your your things is like you pray for people that you don't like, and who else does that? Like, I love that.

SPEAKER_06 13:20

Well, you have to, or you you have if you do if you don't do it, you'll stay angry. And the only reason I know this, or like it turns into bitterness, is because I've been bitter and then I've been healed.

SPEAKER_02 13:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 13:32

Right?

SPEAKER_02 13:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 13:33

And if I mean if you never get to experience what it's like to be heat to to heal and to be whole, you probably have nothing to compare it with. Right?

SPEAKER_01 13:43

That's why I think people, like some of the wisest people and some of the people that really do have their shit together have to go through that so they can have that contrast.

SPEAKER_06 13:53

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

You know?

SPEAKER_06 13:55

I mean, somebody could have spared me.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

Most people do just stay better and stay angry. They don't know that they don't have to be.

SPEAKER_06 14:04

So that's why I'm saying, like, and energy, like it's such a waste. It makes me so sad to just, and like, there's nothing that you can do about it except for they have to figure that out. And I did anger management like three times, you know, when I was young, like all kinds of things. Still pissed, just fucking pissed for no reason. I mean, I had reasons, but not there's people that have way more reasons to be mad than I did. It just became my go-to. It was comfortable there.

SPEAKER_01 14:34

When do you think you started getting angry?

SPEAKER_06 14:36

Oh, I was young. I was young. Probably when we moved from Princeton, I was about fifth grade, winter fifth grade. We left everything behind, the animals, everything. It was it wasn't long after that. My grandpa died, and they didn't let me say goodbye. And why'd you leave? Um, my grandpa died, my mom, that's who my mom was.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Just wanted new scenery.

SPEAKER_06 14:57

I mean, just left the animals, the house. I mean, we owned that house. That house is like a big, huge development now.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

Used to be like a we had a crab apple farm and a bunch of horses, and yeah, we and so that's why you got angry though, is because like you got uprooted with no explanation.

SPEAKER_06 15:11

I don't really know. I mean, I mean, there was I mean, I knew the explanation. Like my grandpa died, and we had, you know, there was a trucking company that had to be ran. So we moved to the city. And my mom wasn't gonna drive back and forth anymore. She'd just be gone and be in the city, and then I would stay with her boyfriend Bob, who was a fantastic, you know, guy. Yeah. And I did karate and I had a horse and a good I mean, I good I had a good little life. And we just left. And I suppose I mean it started before because my dad left at four and he just got a new family and did his thing. And not like that because I love my brothers and I love, I'm not saying it in that kind of way, but yeah, that's kind of how that played out, I guess. I'm not really sure when I got angry, but I got angry. Anger was easy.

SPEAKER_01 15:59

You can control with anger.

SPEAKER_06 16:01

You can control with anger. You can control the situation, the outcome, you can yeah, you can control with anger.

Family History, Fear, And Resilience

SPEAKER_01 16:08

What was the first time you did math like? What was that experience like?

SPEAKER_06 16:15

Um It was it was shitty ass dope, and I wish I'd have never done it again. Because I was like, this stuff is stupid. You know, and and my oldest son, Ake's dad, had been using it, and I was just like, why would somebody like give up their family and like some other things had happened? Just and so I tried it and it was like this is nothing. Then I did it the second time, and oh I knew Yeah, I was blessed and never I never stuck a needle in my arm, or but yeah, otherwise I've done it any other way you can do it. You know? Or not even done no booty bumper or stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 16:53

Um yeah, but your brain really liked it by that point.

SPEAKER_06 16:57

Oh yeah. I got ADHD. Right? Like, yep, you function very highly until you're doing it all the time and then you start losing everything, right? And I just didn't grow I didn't grow up like that. I didn't grow up in yeah. We had a truck we lived very well. We had a tracking company, we lived very well. And so I didn't grow up with addict parents or you know, I mean my mom, my mom on ironically enough was in protective custody when I was young. And uh why before I was actually born, she was I mean, the story that I heard is that she she used to bartend at the 200 club, which I don't know if you know, so it's right on where Broadway in Washington over North Minneapolis is. It's I mean that bar is probably still there, it's right across from earth, but she bartended there and she had a guy that she was seeing, and back then there was no cameras or not stuff, and he uh sold drugs from undercover or something and got away, and he wanted her to say that she was at the bar. He was at the bar and she was serving him so that he wouldn't get in trouble. But then my aunt says a different story, like they used to bring uh drugs up to him after he went to prison, and but I I don't really know. Um, yeah, and the only reason I know that it's true for sure is that we saw that Danny dude one time at the state fair, and I've never, ever, ever seen fear like that in my mom's eyes. She threw us under a table that had a skirt on it, and that's where we sat. She sat in front of like this earring thing, just waiting until he went by and we left the fair.

SPEAKER_04 18:28

Wow.

SPEAKER_06 18:28

He's and she knew when he died because she had she had his obituary.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

So she didn't have to move on to stay at least.

SPEAKER_06 18:34

Oh yeah, she lived in Florida. She lived in Florida and her assumed identity for seven years. That's how she met my dad.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_06 18:40

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 18:41

That's so wild.

unknown 18:43

No.

SPEAKER_01 18:43

And then so she won't okay, but then she was back here before he died. She must have been like it was enough time.

SPEAKER_06 18:50

No, she was like 19. I mean, she was young right out of high school. She graduated in 69.

SPEAKER_01 18:59

Wow.

SPEAKER_06 18:59

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

It's intense. I don't know if I've ever known anybody for sure that went.

SPEAKER_06 19:05

Um I didn't know anybody either. Well, my mom.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 19:08

Yeah. So I suppose there's some kind of like if you believe in generational curses, some of that stuff that probably brought itself down, you know, from my mom. I don't I don't know as to why I got involved with those kind of men and that kind of lifestyle and that kind of stuff. Like something, right? When I went through Teen Challenge, like they said I had a victim spirit that attached itself, and yeah, I mean, like, there's some things. I don't know. I'm not gonna get into it because people think I'm crazy, crazier than they already feel like I am.

SPEAKER_01 19:36

Okay, we'll talk about it next time. Um, what else did you learn from Teen Challenge that like sticks with you?

Faith, Mystics, And Feeling God

SPEAKER_06 19:45

Um I mean there's a lot of things just that I know that I'm never alone and like just the whole I never had a relationship with with Jesus or anything like that. Like, I'm the prodigal son right now. Right? But I mean I I keep hearing that story. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

That's what kind of what we were saying earlier, too. Like, you kinda gotta go away, you kinda gotta do the bad things because Jesus is gonna love you no matter what, and he's almost gonna love you more if you go to the dark side and then come back. He's almost gonna like you know, pick you over the other son. Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 20:24

I mean, I've been the dark side enough where I'm tired of that place, but like literally, yeah. I don't I I got some good friends that I got of that place, and it gave me a strength and it literally healed my heart. Like that was like the the you know, because if you believe the story, like and you and you I don't care if somebody does or they don't, but like literally, if you just think about it, you just read the Bible and just decided this is how I'm gonna live better, right? Like, no sexual morality, no gluttony, no, like all the things. It's almost like just a book where you could just like skate through life, protect your heart until you find the right, like all the all these different things that you learn, right? And that you forgive yourself, and like you you've but you for you know you forgive much, so that's why you're forgiven for much, and like just all of those different things that you never I never knew.

SPEAKER_01 21:14

Yeah, I think they're great guidelines. I think like religion just pushed so many people away from them because they were like used it to control people too. So, like, if they hadn't done all of that, then we could all be living by these guidelines without the skepticism. But there's all kinds of different things.

SPEAKER_06 21:30

There's Buddhism, there's a great creator, there's a Native American, there's all kinds of different things, right? None of them are like based on all these different rules, like some of the other ones are, like the Catholic religion, and like there's other, you know, it's not about, I don't think, rules. I think all of it's about a relationship.

AI, Creativity, And Everyday Tools

SPEAKER_01 21:50

I think it's about feeling, and that's why I decided to start calling myself a mystic, because the difference is that mystics feel where I think other religions and spirituality want it to be about like education and learning and retaining this information. And I'm like, I don't care about that stuff. I just want it to make me feel something. I just care about how I feel and what I feel when I'm talking to God and spending time with Him, you know, meditating.

SPEAKER_06 22:21

Maybe I should be an empath, maybe you should have an empath religion.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 22:25

Because I don't meditate.

SPEAKER_01 22:27

Well, we can try it sometime.

SPEAKER_06 22:29

I mean it I I I mean, I'd love to try it, but yeah, I don't I don't know. That's like you have to quiet your whole fucking mind. Yeah. I just said the F.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

It's tough, but it's practice. You have like six times. It's okay. We allow it here.

SPEAKER_06 22:40

Oh, you do? I was gonna ask right away. It was one of the things I was gonna ask.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

Yep.

SPEAKER_06 22:43

Can you swear? Yes, definitely. All right, sorry.

SPEAKER_01 22:46

Well, do you know about the few big souls or the oversoul idea? Do you know what I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_06 22:52

No.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

So it's the idea that there's this big soul group, like, and then it splits itself into many smaller pieces, and each piece incarnates as different humans, but ultimately they are one being experiencing itself in many forms, sometimes across time, sometimes in parallel. Um, but there's a bit a bunch of different models for it. But the one that I like is that there's 12 soul extensions, like we all split off from one of them. Um, you know that feeling when you meet somebody and you're like, I know them, I've known them my whole life, or they remind you of somebody. It's like because I think there's only 12 souls out there and we are all in one of those. I've thought that for a while. Like, I'm not like super serious about it, or like I think about it every day. No, it's like it just crosses my time, my mind a few times a year. But um, I told you once that I think that you are the only person I've ever met that I'm for sure the same soul. Like we're the same soul. We're we are one of those 12. Um because you know, and then like your genes and your upbringing and your senses, like the lenses that you go through is like what makes your personality different. That's why we're so different too. But just like, I don't know, sometimes just things that you say are the way you act, and like we are literally the same person, you know, and I like it because it's like the thinking that we aren't so separate from the rest of the world. And if you hurt somebody, you're really just hurting another version of yourself, you know, because we are all the same soul. Um, and I like the number 12 because like it's such a symbolic number. There's 12 months, there's 12 astrology signs, 12 apostles, 12 cranial nerves. It's like just makes sense. And I asked AI what it thought about it because I'm obsessed with AI as a friend.

SPEAKER_06 24:46

Yeah. All right. You are, I know you are.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

It said, if it were a human, it would like the idea and it would like the thought that we are all different angles of the same light. That's why I like AI. It says such beautiful, poetic things.

SPEAKER_06 25:01

And then Did you ask it how it felt about let's have a kiki?

SPEAKER_01 25:03

And then it said it's another way of saying we belong to each other. And yes, I asked about Kiki. It loves kikis. It said we should have a kiki every day. Kiki is a party.

Laughter, Dogs, And Life Logistics

SPEAKER_06 25:17

Did you ask it what it says about let's have a kiki? Huh? I've never asked AI anything. I'm gonna have to try that.

SPEAKER_01 25:23

Yeah, I mean, I understand why people don't want to get into it, but I like it. It's my friend.

SPEAKER_06 25:29

If I had a job where I could like be at it, like sit down and like, you know, use my brain instead of my hands, which is way smarter.

SPEAKER_04 25:38

Right?

SPEAKER_06 25:38

Because some days my hands don't really want to close, but literally, um, I'd probably use AI.

SPEAKER_01 25:44

Well, it's like except for under people say it will stop you from being what?

SPEAKER_06 25:49

I don't think all people know that some of that shit's fake.

SPEAKER_01 25:51

What shit?

SPEAKER_06 25:52

Just stuff like when you go into social media and like different kinds of things.

SPEAKER_01 25:55

Like oh yeah, my dad, my parents I don't think understand sometimes when they're scrolling through that. I mean, sometimes I have to look, I'm like, okay, that's AI. Like, look really close to know that it's AI. And I'm sure older people can't tell the difference. So that that is unfortunate. I'm not saying that it's perfect or anything, but like when I'm brainstorming and people say, Oh, it's gonna take away your creativity. Okay, so if I was in the room with a really creative person, like I don't know, Picasso, are you saying I shouldn't ask him questions because he is gonna take away my creativity? Like it's just enhancing my ideas. I don't think it's gonna replace things. I think like homemade clothes and homemade food is just gonna become more valuable.

SPEAKER_06 26:39

Well, I mean, when I'm like planning different menus, like I get on and Google all kinds of stuff.

SPEAKER_02 26:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 26:44

I'm not pulling out the joy of cooking.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 26:47

All 900 pages of the book, right? And no, I'm not doing that.

SPEAKER_02 26:51

Right, for sure.

SPEAKER_06 26:52

I'm not going if I mean if I have to go to the library, I'm going to the electronic part so I can get what I need as fast as I can.

SPEAKER_01 26:59

I mean, I guess so far it helps my brain expand and be more creative. Because like I'll add I'll tell it, hey, I'm thinking about doing this, blah, blah, blah, and then it just expands on it. And that's like being in the room with a really creative person in my eyes. And I'm not not gonna do that.

SPEAKER_06 27:15

I suppose they their fear is oh my gosh, if they start doing that, then they won't, you know, because like computers start around to me, that's not the case. No, no, yeah, no, but you know, kids can't call change. Like, there's things when they're like, oh my gosh, we got computers, or they can't spell. Like, you know, there's just things that, yeah, and so I suppose that's why they say that to you. Like, it's gonna take away your creativity.

Seeing Yourself Through Loved Ones

SPEAKER_01 27:34

Yeah, until maybe you're 18, maybe you shouldn't be able to use it. Like, you can only get in the app if your eyes are programmed to open the app or something, you know, otherwise it's off limits. Because I mean, I think that's true, and kids start having to write their papers, and but I'm sure that the schools have the technology to like scan it and be like, this was written by AI. So I have a friend that is going to school um for medicine, and her paper that she put in her application paper they said was to AI. Like they can use AI, but they said hers was to AI.

SPEAKER_06 28:11

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_01 28:11

I wonder how they can tell.

SPEAKER_06 28:13

They scan it in something and must be written different or must have a different font or something, or no? It couldn't be.

SPEAKER_01 28:17

Yeah, like format, format. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_06 28:21

Oh. I mean, at least they know, right? Because like literally you should know how to spell and you should be able to come back change.

SPEAKER_01 28:29

Yeah, my friend Barry that works at the aisle high school, he said the kids don't know.

SPEAKER_06 28:34

Oh, I thought you were like, I'm like, oh god, don't call Barry out.

SPEAKER_01 28:40

No, he uh said that the kids don't know how to read a clock, like the seniors.

SPEAKER_06 28:45

I had a girl that I and I was like, so got her digital clock, you know? Like you didn't just teach her? I tried.

SPEAKER_01 28:55

She It's just it's only up to 12.

SPEAKER_06 29:00

Oh, believe me, you should know military time. You should be able to figure that out. You just minus 12.

SPEAKER_01 29:05

Okay, stop. That's going too far. I cannot.

SPEAKER_06 29:07

Minus 12.

SPEAKER_01 29:08

I don't do math. Everybody knows I don't mean. No, that's too much for me. No, it's not.

SPEAKER_06 29:13

Minus 12.

Take The Trip And Age With Pride

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Did I ever tell you about my dog's birthday party? It was her third birthday, and I had everybody over as this big party, and somebody says something about it being her 21st, and I was like, no, that's next year. I'm gonna have celebrities and elephants, like it's that's gonna be a big deal. And they're like, somebody goes, Beth, what's seven times three? And I was like, 14. And then I swear, like the music stops, and everybody looks at me and they go, Beth, what seven times three? And I'm like, 14. And then I realized and I like flipped out. I'm like, everybody, get out! Like, this isn't the party. No, I'm just kidding, I didn't kick people out. But I was like, What? Like, that's how bad I am at math. When I started bartending, I told my bosses, I'm like, I like the till's never gonna be right. And they were like, okay, that's fine.

SPEAKER_06 30:00

It must not be off by much.

SPEAKER_04 30:04

What is happening?

SPEAKER_01 30:06

Why was it doing it again? Yeah, start it again. Yeah. I used to do that. I used to like just my phone would just start playing in the middle of episodes.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

No, but specifically partying. Specifically partying.

SPEAKER_01 30:19

Do you set it up? No. I swear to God. I guess it just wants us to party. Yeah. No, I I don't think any edits so far. But um what were we talking about? Math. Yeah, so no, I am really bad at math. So don't even know military time. But I know how to read a clock. There's hopefully a difference there.

SPEAKER_06 30:45

I mean, do you remember? Well, you probably wouldn't because you're a little bit older than I am, but they used to give you this book when you went to school, and it it was like a it was like a whatever workbook, but you know, you'd fill, but in the middle of it, it had fake dollar bills and fake coins. And they were, you know, plastic little, and you'd pop them out, and then you would do change. And now, you know, it's all just goes into like a little computer screen, and you get the right thing. And so, like, if you don't have that, like they can't. So maybe that's why people just pick on you about AI because they're just afraid that you'll turn to somebody who, you know, same kind of gig, I suppose.

SPEAKER_01 31:17

Yeah. And I mean, and people picked on me for math after that all the time. They were like, take me in all these memes about people that were bad at math, and I mean, just couldn't let it go. And it's like, well, can't be good at everything.

Work, Identity, And New Timelines

SPEAKER_06 31:29

Well, you can't be good at everything. And I mean, you already had a big party for your dog for her third birthday. So you're already killing it.

SPEAKER_01 31:38

Yeah. And now she's like 12 or 13. That was a long time ago.

SPEAKER_06 31:42

Yeah, and my dog is a pain. My dog ate two fucking brownies last night.

SPEAKER_01 31:47

Two brownies. Marijuana brownies.

SPEAKER_06 31:49

Yep. And I thought I'd put them in the fridge. We cleaned the house, we hung out, it was good. I got up this morning, I was like, see, this looked stoned. I thought, where would he have gotten this?

SPEAKER_01 31:58

And I was like, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_06 32:00

That's not how to put them in the fridge.

SPEAKER_01 32:02

Just looked stoned? Did he look tired?

SPEAKER_06 32:04

No, he's been stoned three or four different times on separate occasions. So I can tell. Yeah, I can tell now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:10

That's great.

SPEAKER_06 32:11

Yeah, don't take my dog away. He's fine. He's wow, he's fine. Yeah. I love fucking dogs. Dude. I literally was like, you've got to be kidding me right now.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

Yeah, I think we should move in together and the money that way, we'll say we can just travel with.

SPEAKER_06 32:30

Hmm. Here in Minnesota?

SPEAKER_01 32:33

I don't know. We can live anywhere.

SPEAKER_06 32:35

We have to have six months here and six months somewhere else. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:37

Well, or just buy, yeah, move, let's move in together here and buy another house someplace else.

SPEAKER_06 32:43

Nobody wants to. This, like you have this, so that you have somebody to plow, somebody does all the things, right? So you have to live somewhere else in an association where somebody else plows and does all the things. I'd rather do other things.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

Right. Right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 32:57

Like run a food truck and get rich. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:00

Yeah. What kind of food? I don't know. Like whatever. Gun to your hand. You gotta decide right now what kind of food. Trying to get Brandon and do soup this winter around town. Wouldn't that be great? And like really good Brad, just go around to the different businesses and just soup.

SPEAKER_06 33:17

Is he gonna make them?

SPEAKER_01 33:19

I don't know. Maybe you could do it with him. Potato soup. Oh my god, yeah. We have leftover potatoes.

SPEAKER_06 33:30

Yeah, we we'd have to make the soups from scratch. That'd be good. That'd be good. I think he's I he's gonna come to the ice fishing contest, isn't he? Have they called him back?

SPEAKER_01 33:38

I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 33:39

I'm gonna talk to him. I have a meeting on Friday, I'll make sure or Saturday, I'll make sure that.

Kids, Careers, And Doing The Next Right Thing

SPEAKER_01 33:43

Okay. Sounds good. Um, okay, so I have a dream that all of us see ourselves in a more loving way. So I figure if we can see ourselves the way the people around us see us, then maybe we would. So I asked you last week to give me a list of six or seven people that I could have describe you in six or seven words so I could put them together and then pick out your top themes of how people see you. Um who did you pick? You picked like a mix of people, I feel like. Like some relatives, some some family, some friends.

SPEAKER_06 34:20

I would pick Johnny, Chrissy, uh, Rachel, Joe, Teresa, Drea, Drea.

SPEAKER_01 34:31

What do you think they're gonna say? What do you think your top themes are?

SPEAKER_06 34:35

I'm sure I gotta be funny somewhere in there. Um like it is.

SPEAKER_01 34:53

Alright, your first word is devoted. Because half the people said you were loyal, so I put that under there. An honest, trustworthy, dedicated, compassionate. A couple people said loving, faithful, spiritual. Your second word is charismatic. That's where the funny falls under. Animated, talkative, rowdy, carefree, fabulous, stunning, authentic. And then zealous. And I always think of the word zealous as jealous.

SPEAKER_06 35:25

I can never So what is zealous?

SPEAKER_01 35:27

So it is passionately committed, almost fiery about what you do. It's a perfect word for you. Because a couple of people said passionate, a couple people said ambitious, intense, motivated, tenacious.

SPEAKER_06 35:39

Zealous has to come from Joe.

SPEAKER_01 35:41

I I put the word zealous. Oh, all right. For this category.

SPEAKER_05 35:45

That's a great word.

SPEAKER_01 35:46

Tenacious, hardworking, driven, resourceful, capable, and determined.

SPEAKER_03 35:52

Zealous.

SPEAKER_05 35:53

Yeah, like that word.

SPEAKER_01 35:54

And then fearless. Couple people said courageous, couple people said adventurous, unapologetic, strong, sassy, and independent. And one person said, She's the best person I know. And then me and AI did a synopsis together for you. Me and Annie.

SPEAKER_06 36:18

Me and AI. Oh, oh, you and AI. First I thought you said Annie.

SPEAKER_01 36:28

We decided your synopsis is you're magnetic. People don't just see you, they fail you. There's heart, there's heat in your heart, but the fire is in your eyes. You're proof that strength can still have a soul.

SPEAKER_06 36:43

I kind of like AI right now. Yeah. Yeah. That's nice, huh? Yeah, that was nice. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:51

So what do you do right now that you hope your grandkids do when they're your age?

SPEAKER_05 36:58

Oh.

Sobriety, Humor, And Owning Your Story

SPEAKER_06 37:04

I mean laugh. Take the freaking trip. Whatever it is that you like to do, like, do that. Cause you don't know if you're gonna live to be this long. Like, you just I I have buried so many people younger than me. Like, you just don't know. And now this is like like I made it. Like, there's power in getting to be this age. Like, people don't want to age because I mean, like, literally, things hurt that never hurt before. Like, you know what I mean? Like, there's just I mean, like, I can melt ice because of hot flashes. Like, I'm sure of it. There's just things that happen, but I'm telling you, like, take the trip, do the things. Love people. Do not let your pride or like your ego get in the way. Like, say you're wrong if you're wrong. Like, you know what I mean? And stand up for stand up for what you stand up for what you believe in and do not like do not don't falter. I mean, because literally it is like them, all these stupid cliches, like, if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. If you don't blah blah blah, like one day at a time, somebody just gotta survive them. All they're all true. They are all they're all true and they all make a difference and take the trip. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

And you're right, like growing old is so hard for people, but and when my 40th birthday comes in a few months, I might feel different, but growing old is a privilege that so many people get taken away too early. Yeah. So it's our greatest accomplishment.

SPEAKER_06 38:37

It is our greatest accomplishment.

SPEAKER_01 38:39

That's why you're supposed to celebrate your birthday, and that's why I celebrate all month long.

SPEAKER_06 38:44

I do not really celebrate my birthday.

SPEAKER_01 38:47

Okay, well.

SPEAKER_06 38:48

I'm gonna celebrate my 50th though. I'm gonna be 50 this year. What are you gonna do? I don't really know yet.

SPEAKER_01 38:55

I mean When is that again? June 4th.

SPEAKER_06 38:58

June 4th. I'd like to be in Iceland, but like I leave next week for Florida, and then I'm going to Hawaii for two weeks in January. Like, I mean, I'm still just a single chick on one income, right? Yeah. I mean, I work three jobs, but you know what I mean? Like, I don't know what I'll do for my Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:16

And I can't leave in June. That's the wrong time of year to have a birthday.

SPEAKER_06 39:20

Okay, yeah. But I'm a Gemini, and Geminis are pretty freaking cool.

SPEAKER_01 39:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 39:25

Gemini and I'm a strong Gemini. So I mean, yeah, I don't know. I haven't decided.

unknown 39:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:32

Let's figure something out.

SPEAKER_06 39:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:34

Um, so what do you do right now that you hope your grandkids don't do when they're your age?

Closing Gratitude And Next Steps

SPEAKER_06 39:39

What do I do right now? Work too much. Yeah, like if you if you don't, and it was a real like eye-opener, like when COVID happened, because everything got shut down and John had left for college, and it was just me. And I really got to see the fact that I had put so much of my identity in my work.

SPEAKER_04 40:02

Right?

SPEAKER_06 40:03

Just so much of who I was and like my time where I where I consumed it, there was no, there's no hobbies, there's no one like that is.

SPEAKER_01 40:11

Because that's what society wanted for you, for you to have your whole identity wrapped up in what you do. Yeah, and it's a lie. That's how they condition you. It's a lie. So when did you realize that? COVID. So you're trying to break free, even though you have a literal maybe job potential job interview in a 20 minutes.

SPEAKER_06 40:31

I mean, well, well, I mean, there's some things that are happening, you know, and like maybe it's time for me to move on.

SPEAKER_01 40:42

Yeah, well, it's good. I mean, every everything new and different that you do is breaking out of the matrix. So something big like a job is gonna I need to start definitely getting on a new timeline. Yeah, just some stuff for my own, like for my own, not yeah, so that you're not just like repeating life, like it just gets stagment.

SPEAKER_06 41:03

I mean, I love where I work, but uh I also I also know that um I have a God-given talent for cooking, and like I don't have a lot of years left to monopolize it because God willing, I live another 15, 20 years, I'm not spending them working, right? I got 10 good years left to solicit this body, and then I'm good. I'm always like slang drinks or waitress, you know, at some elderly, not elderly community, but you know, some retirement place. But like, no, I'm not working. And the only way you can do that is you gotta make money, you gotta be out of debt, like you gotta put some things in savings. And I didn't start doing any kind of retirement until like 10 years ago, right? So that that's the only way we can do it. That's the only way you can do it. Because living off 800 bucks a month doesn't work. There's no, there's no, I mean I watch my mom. So one thing, like, do not set yourself up to be old and broke. I would tell my grandkids that too. Like, start saving immediately. You start putting in some sort of retirement immediately. Right out the gate. I tell both my kids that. My oldest doesn't listen as you know, he's we grew up together, so he's pretty much me in an eggshell, but he's doing fantastic, like his jewelry's doing fantastic, like he's doing fantastic, and John is a teacher, right? I should have worn the bracelet that I got from that. Yeah, he just got back from uh uh Halloween in St. Petersburg. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:40

Wow, and he uh set up at Red Rocks earlier.

SPEAKER_06 42:43

Red Rocks, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:44

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_06 42:45

Yeah, he's made some, he's making some serious moves. And John just does the next John's my second 20, right? Okay's my first 20 years of life, John's my second 20, and you can see the difference. And both of them have great qualities and great things, and Okay's seen the world. John just has done the next right thing, and there's nothing wrong with either one of them, or you know, either either path, but it's definitely my first 20, my second 20.

SPEAKER_01 43:14

Yeah, interesting to look at it that way. Yeah, cool. Well, anything else you wanna talk about?

SPEAKER_06 43:24

No, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 43:26

You gonna come on again? Sure. Was that fun?

SPEAKER_06 43:30

I mean, I think so. I um I think it was fun. Different. It's something different, but it yeah, yeah, but it's fun. I don't really watch many podcasts. I like only will watch like the Dumb Blonde podcast, and I've watched yours a couple of times, but I don't really have time to but I like watching the Dumb Blonde podcast only because they're super dysfunctional, right? I don't know that one with Bunny from oh god, but they talk about like beef curtains and all kinds of you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_00 44:01

Just huh? Isn't that um jelly rolls? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 44:07

Jelly rolls what? Life or whatever. And she started podcasts, but like literally they say some dysfunctionals, like if you had, you know, I mean, because yours is about like healing, and I think they just pretty much get on there and hers is like the opposite, but they're still sober.

SPEAKER_00 44:22

Yeah, because I saw she had posted a whole thing about her sobriety on Facebook last week or something. Yep, yeah. She's very funny, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:30

I I think I was pretty funny when I was a drinker, and I don't know why I didn't carry over, and I can't be funny anymore. But otherwise, I would love to have a podcast like that where we just sit around and bullshit and laugh.

SPEAKER_06 44:41

I mean, I don't think that you're not funny, I just think that you're too worried about um not being who you were when you were drinking.

SPEAKER_01 44:51

Yeah, Beth. No, I don't think that's true. I don't know how to be. I let the alcohol take over, so I was just like not in control. I loved being out of control.

SPEAKER_06 45:01

No, remember? What? When you were like sitting underneath at the crow's nest, and I was like, Oh, I don't remember I was blacked out.

SPEAKER_01 45:08

Kitty, she's fine.

SPEAKER_06 45:10

Just and I was like, oh yeah, she dies. I was so like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 45:15

Yeah. I just passed out at the bar at the time.

SPEAKER_06 45:17

No, but you were not passed out. I think you were having a mini seizure or something. I don't know, but you were doing the worm. I don't know what the fuck was happening. But I was like, I'm the one who served her all my love. Yeah. If she dies, I'm gonna kick your ass. Yeah. Oh my gosh. She's fine. I'm like, all right, it's great. You get guys, uh cheapest vodka too.

SPEAKER_01 45:34

I'm a vodka water with some lime, lemons. Yeah. I'm like, you got aristocrat? I like cheap vodka.

SPEAKER_06 45:41

Oh. Thank God you don't drink that anymore. If you ever drink again, drink some good stuff. Solely or something good. Okay. Not that oh.

SPEAKER_01 45:51

I know. It was bad.

SPEAKER_06 45:53

I never really saw you drunk. Like, that's about the only time I ever saw. You know what I mean? Like you just, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 45:59

I don't who care. Like, but I really was like, is she gonna she's falling Katie?

unknown 46:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:04

But no, I'm not trying I wish I could act like I acted drunk, like be that fun. I'm just not I don't think I am that person. I think alcohol made me that person, so I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 46:13

God, I laughed a lot more sober than I ever have when I was a train wreck.

SPEAKER_02 46:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 46:19

I mean, I I laugh all the time anyways, but like so I mean, I don't remember laughing at all on drugs, really.

SPEAKER_01 46:28

Okay, well, next time we will I'll watch this bunny, sh this bunny lady. I'll watch her, and then we can do an episode try to be like that one. And then maybe you'll just start your own podcast that's like it. How fun would that be?

SPEAKER_06 46:41

I will not be starting my own podcast just like it. I will not be starting podcasts.

SPEAKER_01 46:47

Okay, well, you gotta get to your meeting then. What time is it? I don't know. But thanks so much for coming on. Yeah, thanks for having me. So fun.