Something About Time

Time can feel like it’s flying until a song, a scar, or a hard earned habit forces you to look straight at it. I sit down with my brother Michael and we start with the Rush song “Time Stand Still,” then follow the thread into what it means to age, chase fitness, and hold on to the moments you don’t want to lose.

From there we get practical and honest about health optimization without the guru voice: sourdough and digestion, why toasting and cooking can change how your body reacts, and what people actually mean when they talk about peptides. Michael breaks down peptides as amino acid chains, shares what he’s tried, and why the debate about long term safety matters. We also talk Hyrox training, running cadence, the meditative side of lifting, and why the exercise you dread is often the one that will change you.

Then the story turns. Michael walks through a construction accident that nearly cost him his hand, the ER moment, six surgeries, grafts, and decades of nerve recovery. We talk about the hidden risk that followed: strong painkillers, the fear of running out, and how asking a doctor for a taper can keep pain relief from becoming dependence. We also touch on quitting nicotine after decades, what alcohol does to sleep, tracking recovery with an Oura Ring, and the kind of character traits people notice when you show up steady for your family.

If you like episodes that mix resilience, wellness, big questions, and real life detail, hit play, then subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find SuperNAT. What part of Michael’s story do you relate to most?

0:00 Meet Michael And The Bond

0:42 A Song That Holds Time

3:31 Food Prep And Better Digestion

5:26 Peptides Explained Without Hype

11:58 Hyrox Training And Mental Drive

23:10 The Hand Accident That Changed Life

35:49 Painkillers And Avoiding Dependence

39:30 Quitting Nicotine And Cutting Alcohol

47:49 From Work Injury To Chef School

52:21 Fleet Management At Massive Events

59:32 Animal Rescue Dreams And Compassion

1:01:28 Lucid Dreams And The Mind

1:05:25 Faith, Meaning, And Mortality Questions

1:08:32 How Others Describe Michael

1:11:59 Rapid Questions And Core Values

1:16:05 Limits, Aging, And Final Reflections

Transcript

Meet Michael And The Bond

SPEAKER_05 0:00

Welcome to SuperNAT, where we explore the inner and outer dimensions of the self. Today my brother Michael is on. Michael has been SuperNot's biggest supporter, writing me every week to talk about each episode after it comes out. I idolized him so much as a child that I dressed up as him for Halloween one year. 100% believing in my head that every door I knocked on, the people would know who I was. Because how can it die? And I still idolize him for everything he does. He is the most attentive husband, father, and grandfather. His compassion for humans and for animals is unmatched by anyone else that I know. He's a beast in the gym, competes in high rocks competitions, and he's my go-to for health advice. I consult him before AI even. So I asked you to pick a song to listen to before we started. What song did you pick?

SPEAKER_00 0:45

Time Stand Still by Rush.

SPEAKER_05 0:48

Why did you pick it?

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Uh it's been one of my, or if not, my number one favorite song for quite some time. I uh usually have a hard time picking favorites of anything, but it wasn't that hard to pick that as the song that I would say is my favorite song.

SPEAKER_05 1:04

I think I get a lot of my love for music from you. I remember driving around um when I was a kid, just riding in the car with you was so cool. You know, you're eight years older, so what I would have been um eight when you got your license.

SPEAKER_00 1:19

Yeah, yeah, we're eight years different.

SPEAKER_05 1:21

So and just riding around with you and listening to music and you would sing and change some of the words and um remember I think that's probably why Guns N' Roses is my all-time favorite band, is because that was like the hit when you were still living at home and for sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

Yeah, I always when someone asks me my favorite band, I usually say Guns N' Roses, but again it's hard to pick favorites. Um that's probably changed a little bit.

SPEAKER_05 1:44

I still would say they're one of my favorite bands, but but this song just really uh is nostalgic for you and brings you back to Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

I looked up uh to see what year it came out, um, 1987. I don't think I remember hearing it even for the first time until maybe the early 90s was probably a song that would have been played on like um 92.5 back when they used to actually play classic rock. Um so I was really familiar with it. I don't think I appreciated it or liked it as much as I do now, I'd say in the last few years. Um maybe because I've listened to the lyrics more than it means more to me. Uh I don't know if you noticed, but because you said you hadn't heard that song before, you're not familiar with it.

SPEAKER_05 2:27

I do know the the uh main parts of it, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Okay, because each chorus gets longer. So there's three like main choruses, and uh it builds each time, or each chorus gets a little bit longer, and the theme of the song, you know, is time stands still. Um what I believe it's or think it means is our attempt to hold on to the precious moments that we really love and want to keep. And we can try harder and harder, but eventually it has to end. Can't hold it time doesn't stand still as much as we want want to do.

SPEAKER_05 3:05

And the hardest lessons, if not the hardest, of existence.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 3:10

Mm-hmm. Because we were just talking about like if we do live to be hundreds of years old because of technology, like, is life gonna mean the same thing? I mean, we're not gonna have that feeling of this time is passing.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

Yeah, I don't know. It's hard to say.

Food Prep And Better Digestion

SPEAKER_05 3:29

Yeah. So speaking of the health advice, um, we were just talking an hour ago and you gave me some. I was talking about how um I try and only eat sourdough bread now because it makes me feel so much better than any other bread. And you said that toasting it is even better for you.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

That's what I've read. So if if I'm wrong, don't blame me, but I that's what I understand is that toasting it actually makes breaks down the carbohydrate so you there's not as much uh because carbohydrates are sugar and there's less sugars to absorb after it's been toasted.

SPEAKER_05 4:01

Well, I know things work like that because James has some kind of um disease. I don't know what you would call it, but his mouth breaks out when he eats fruits and vegetables raw. But if he heats them up in the microwave, even for 30 seconds, the molecules change enough that his body doesn't realize what it is and he can eat them without his mouth breaking out.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

So I know there's other foods that have differences in nutrition when they're cooked versus raw too. I'm sure there's more, but the only other one I can think of is tomatoes. Uh when you cook a tomato, it they say it becomes new more nutritious, but what it really does is just breaks down certain parts of it that makes the nutrients more absorbable by the human body. It doesn't add nutrients, it has the nutrients either way, but by cooking tomatoes, it makes it more the nutrients more absorbable, I think, is is how it works. So technically, I guess then cooked tomatoes are healthier than raw tomatoes.

SPEAKER_05 4:59

Yeah, and kind of like how bananas, the greener they are, the less sugary they are. So kind of better for you.

SPEAKER_00 5:05

Yeah.

Peptides Explained Without Hype

SPEAKER_05 5:06

In that way. But yeah, it just seems like you retain everything that you learn, which is opposite of me. And I think um because you're into health so much, like that's why you know you're my go-to person, because you are into all that stuff and then retain it all. Um what else is exciting in the health world right now? Like, what are peptides? Everybody's talking about peptides.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

I'm no expert by any means on peptides. Uh the little I know is that they're basically amino acids or amino chains that our bodies already produce, just less so the older that we get. Uh so most of the peptides are just specific amino acids or uh chains of aminos that we stop producing or stop making or stop getting the older we get. So we're really just replacing something or adding to something in our body that we used to naturally have more of. Um a lot of the more popular ones are like they help with things like uh healing, rejuvenation. You know, your skin, your nails, your hair um all grow and are healthy from amino acids that come from proteins. And uh again, you know, the older you get, you notice everybody heals slower. Uh, and part of that reason is because of the reduced amount of aminos and protein chains and that kind of stuff that we're making naturally. So we're getting some of that back by putting those peptides in our body.

SPEAKER_05 6:34

Okay, so is there any reason not to take them?

SPEAKER_00 6:38

There's controversy, of course. It's it hasn't been studied. Some people against would say it hasn't been studied long enough to know if there's long-term effects. Um again, the little that I know about it, uh the studies that have been done, at least for the most part, or most of them, they can't find any ill effects from them. Uh I did hear that there's one, again. Not an expert at all, so I'm not giving medical advice to anybody. But uh there's this one particular peptide that it used to have uh a difference in the chemical that if taken in large amounts was bad for the body, like broke down some enzymes in your liver or something. But they changed that to take that particular part of it out so it doesn't so it's not harmful anymore. But again, the people that are against it say think that it might still be harmful and they haven't studied it long enough if this new version or this new variety of it is is safe. But from all logical accounts, just looking at it from logic standpoint and um the fact that they are just natural amino acids, maybe chemical chemically made or artificially made, that they're exact replicas of the amino acids that we have and use already, how can that be harmful?

SPEAKER_05 8:03

Mm-hmm. Um does it make you feel different? Can you tell when you've taken it or haven't?

SPEAKER_00 8:09

Uh there's this one that I did for a couple of weeks, um hypomorlin, and that one, and you typically inject them sub Q, which means underneath the skin layer but above the fat layer, above the muscle, like between the the skin and the fat. Um on that one I would get like a flush warm sensation in my face momentarily, and I rather that's perfectly normal. But I think uh all the other ones or most of the other ones, you don't feel like anything immediately. There's no like buzz or high or anything from it. It's just a super small amount of liquid.

SPEAKER_04 8:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:49

Yeah. When you inject it, it's uh if anybody's familiar with uh insulin needle, um like an insulin needle, say it holds one milliliter and it's got the ten numbers on it if you can picture seeing that. You typically inject just one tenth of a milliliter, which is one IU, one unit. It's a super small amount. And some peptides you inject every day. I think there's some you might inject multiple times a day, and there's other ones that you inject just a couple times a week.

SPEAKER_05 9:17

Cool. Yeah, Seth, who's coming on next week, I think he's into them. So I'm gonna have to come up with some more questions because I think he's been injecting. So yeah, cool.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

So anecdotally, uh this one that I take or been taking frequently, it's called the Glow Blend. It's a blend of BPC 157 and TB500. They're probably the most popular most ones that people would be familiar with. They call it when you take the two together the wovereen stack, um, because it makes you heal faster. It helps with your with your healing properties. Um if you're just taking it therapeutically, again, you just would inject it in the in the stomach area, sub Q. Um, but people use it on actual sites of injury uh to be more site-specific. And again, it's really anecdotally, but I had hurt my shoulder a couple weeks ago, and so I switched from injecting in the stomach to in my shoulder near where that pain was, and it might have just been a coincidence, but within a few days it was feeling better. Now I think that's a long shot because they even the people that you know sell it and study it and talk about it say that typically takes a few weeks for it to work.

SPEAKER_05 10:28

But but your body is such a well-oiled machine that I could see it just working so fast. Like, remember when you got super sick off jello shots? And I'm like, it's because your body isn't used to that many jello shots.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

Yeah. And that much alcohol at once.

SPEAKER_05 10:42

Yeah, for sure. Because I could, I mean, placebo effect is so strong that the spot that I've had in my back that's been painful for like six months now. Maybe if I put some in there and just believe it.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

Yeah. Well, the placebo effect is real too. And the studies show that uh people if they believe that this that something they're taking is gonna work, it works. And it helps.

SPEAKER_05 11:04

Yeah. Manifestation. I mean, that's it's kind of proof right there.

SPEAKER_00 11:09

Marissa Marissa says that she can even see my uh bulbs out of my hair growing back a little bit. And that's supposed to be one of the benefits of this one I'm taking.

SPEAKER_05 11:16

Hair growth?

SPEAKER_00 11:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 11:18

Oh, because my hair's never grown.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

The the glow peptide that I was saying uh has a third uh peptide in it as well on top of the TB500 and the BPC 157. Um is GKCU something, but that's supposed to help with hair and nail growth.

SPEAKER_04 11:34

Oh my gosh. Amazing.

SPEAKER_00 11:36

I haven't done anything else really different, so if my hair is really coming back a little bit in my thinning areas, I can't think of anything else to attribute to it other than that.

SPEAKER_05 11:46

Yeah, awesome. Okay, I'm gonna look more into that. Anything else in the health world that you're really excited about right now?

SPEAKER_00 11:53

That's been the latest big, big thing going on. Okay. Yeah.

Hyrox Training And Mental Drive

SPEAKER_05 11:57

Yeah. Um, so yeah, and like I said, you're a beast in the gym, high rocks. Um that is uh eight station relay. How do you describe it?

SPEAKER_00 12:11

It's eight 1k runs alternated by eight workout stations. Uh you can either do it individually or as a pair. Um they also have like a group one, but uh so there's I think three three different ways you can do it solo by yourself with one other person or a group of four people. So obviously, if you're doing it by yourself, you do all eight kilometer runs in each of the eight stations, but it's it's alternating. So do a run, do a workout, do a run, do a workout. All eight workouts are are different. Um when you do it with a partner, you still both run all eight runs, kilometer runs in between each one, but you can share the workouts. So say like the first workout is ski erg. If you're not familiar with that, it's the kind of like uh rope pulley um in a ski in motion. And I believe it's really works the tries, works the tries, shoulders, uh, lats, um, but you use your legs a lot too, so it really is a full body exercise if you're doing it properly. And I think that first station is a thousand meters of pull that you have to do. It's got a little clicker that counts how many meters you're pulling. Um so theoretically, you would you and your partner would each do half, but it doesn't have to be you to the first half, you to the second half, it could be quarters, or if one person is better at a particular workout, he might do, he or she might do three quarters of it, and the other person do one quarter of it. And then if there's another workout later on that one person's better at, he might more do more of that one, and the other person do less of that one. But theoretically, if you're both pretty equal and everything, you would just share everything, but you could still break it up however you wanted to, whether it was 50-50 or 25-25-25-25 or however strategically.

SPEAKER_05 14:01

That's awesome. So there's the ski erg, and then there's the sled push, and the weight varies by division.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

Yep.

SPEAKER_05 14:07

And then a sled pull. Which do you like more? The push or the pull?

SPEAKER_00 14:11

The push is much easier for me. The pull is really hard for me because of my hand.

SPEAKER_05 14:15

Okay. Yeah, we'll talk about your hand later. Yep. And then the burpee board jumps.

SPEAKER_00 14:20

Broad jump.

SPEAKER_05 14:21

Broad.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

Burpee broad jump.

SPEAKER_05 14:23

Okay. And then rowing.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

Rowing.

SPEAKER_05 14:26

And farmer's carry, sandbag lunges, and then wall balls. Yep. Which is your favorite out of all of those?

SPEAKER_00 14:36

So the first high rocks I did uh burpee broad jump was the one that I was dreading the most and I didn't work at very much because I hated doing that exercise because it's very difficult. Um and I was teased a little bit afterwards of how short my jumps were in a good competitive friendly way. Uh, because they're they're really hard. So before the second high rocks I did, I worked at them really hard, really well, and ended up really enjoying them and got really good at them.

SPEAKER_05 15:13

After two years of volleyball league, I was told I couldn't jump. They were like, I was like, I've been jumping the whole time, and they're like, no, whatever you think you're doing, that's not jumping. So I started like practicing jumping a bunch, but apparently not good at it.

SPEAKER_00 15:28

And I guess kind of what I did too is I practiced what I preached, is I always tell people that ask me for fitness advice and like what exercises to do. I oftentimes tell them the things or the workouts or the exercise that they dislike or hate doing the most is probably the one that they should do the most or at least work on. Because you'll probably get the most benefit from that. Overcoming your struggle and your fear or whatever, maybe holding you back from doing certain things that could be beneficial to you.

SPEAKER_05 15:54

Mm-hmm. Is there times well, how many have you done? How many of these high rocks?

SPEAKER_00 15:59

Two.

SPEAKER_05 16:00

Two Mexico City and Houston was the first one. Houston. Okay.

unknown 16:06

I bet.

SPEAKER_05 16:07

And you were only there for like 24 hours?

SPEAKER_00 16:09

Yeah, I got in really late the the night before. Um I would have got in for pr fairly late regardless, but my flight was delayed. I think it was like four or six hours. So I think I got to the hotel around 1 a.m. in the morning and uh our heat started at 11 a.m.

SPEAKER_05 16:27

At least you don't have to get up too early.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

Yeah, but the elevation was what was really difficult. It made the competition extremely hard.

SPEAKER_05 16:35

I bet. Um is there a point was there times that you wanted to give up in either of these?

SPEAKER_00 16:42

No, I don't think I ever felt like I needed to give up, just had to slow down. Um again, Mexico City was really difficult because of the elevation. So the runs, uh, me and my partner struggled on quite a bit, so we had to basically walk every run after the first. I think we we ran the first kilometer at a pretty good pace. And then the second one, I think we ran maybe half of it and then had to slow down to a jog and walk. Uh, and then the rest of it, I think we pretty much just walked. It was that it was that rough. But when we got to the workout stations, the elevation didn't affect those quite as much. Plus, we were a little more rested because we walked the the one kilometer portions that we did pretty well through all the workout stations, though, at least. They weren't quite as much of a struggle. It was just the the oxygen.

SPEAKER_05 17:34

Yeah, and you run uh quite a few races a year too. Uh what um what do you think contributes to your love for fitness?

SPEAKER_00 17:43

Vanity. Mostly probably, or at least a big portion. I I I feel a little bit of what some people describe as runner's high when I run. Um the first half mile of every run I sometimes really hate and don't like it all, but once I get into the groove, um then it does most often become enjoyable.

SPEAKER_05 18:07

Almost meditative.

SPEAKER_00 18:09

Yeah, I I always put my phone on Do Not Disturb. Um Time Stand Still is on my playlist, of course, and it's my favorite song to come on during a run. Uh during while that song's playing, whatever portion of the run it is is always the most enjoyable, easiest part of the run. I feel like time is standing still. When you're out running, you don't have anything else to think about or worry about. Phone's on do not disturb. You don't have a care in the world. All you're focused on and thinking about is is running.

SPEAKER_05 18:44

Yeah, it's like I don't think I'm the best listener, but when I'm in this room, I feel like I'm so locked in on listening because I know that there's nothing else I need to be doing. I haven't really thought about if I do that with running or not. Um, but with lifting, I hadn't really heard this idea before, but to think of that as a meditative thing. So now I'm liking lifting more because I'm just counting and focusing on my breath and really thinking of it as like I'm double downing and getting a meditation in too.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 19:15

You know, like it's because I can't really listen to music or listen to a podcast when I'm counting and lifting anyway. So it's like, let's just be in silence and just really get into the flow of things. And I think that helps me uh stay more present for the rest of the day, too.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

Really, the only time I even listen to music is when I run. Um I rarely live to listen to music otherwise, but uh I think it helps me with that letting go of every other thought. Um, the rhythm helps with the pace and the cadence, and you know, I'm always concentrating, like I was telling you the other day, that I've been really working on my cadence, uh, which really improves your efficiency of running, making it easier to run faster and longer the more efficient you can run. Uh the beat of music seems uh to help with that. Um lifting weights though, I'd never listen to music. I don't have put in ear pods, even if I'm when I used to work out at commercial gyms, um, but I have a home gym now. I I don't play music. I have a TV in in the gym, and I usually play uh dumb old sitcoms. Either Seinfeld, uh which I w rewatched uh the entire series recent like last year in the gym. It's the only time I would watch it was while I was working out. And uh recently I've been watching Trailer Park Boys again.

SPEAKER_05 20:36

Fun. The chiropractor that I go to has been playing Leave It to Beaver, um, which is really cute. Um in Yeah, in the waiting room.

SPEAKER_00 20:47

Oh yeah. Nice.

SPEAKER_05 20:48

Yeah, that'd be fun to watch all the way from the beginning again. Um, so when you are, when you do have, even at home, when you have a set that you need to finish, like how do you push through the pain? What do you think it is about you that you keep going compared to other people? I mean vanity, but there's gotta be something else.

SPEAKER_00 21:11

Now it just comes as second nature, it's just normal. Uh I feel bad about myself if I skip a day or too many days, or don't push hard every time, or I mean I I don't push as hard as I can every time in the gym. That's there's some systematic science to it. You have hard few weeks and then you have deloading, which you which basically means you take it easy for a while, let your body recover a little bit. Uh you're still getting really good workouts, but you're not increasing um intensity, weight, or um amount of reps and sets or anything, but you're still going through the motions with good amounts of of weight and work, but you're letting your body recover a little bit. Uh, I think that's good physically and mentally. To reset a little bit and then after you've deloaded I get the urge again to go hard and heavy again, just always finding a new challenge in it. I'm always trying to get stronger, I'm always trying to get bigger.

SPEAKER_05 22:16

I don't know how much bigger I can get at my age now, but it's like maybe you respect yourself enough to not want to let yourself down. Um like because you just said, Oh, you feel bad if you don't reach your goals. Like I think that's a form of self-respect.

SPEAKER_00 22:33

Sometimes when I'm running, I'm getting near the end of a run and it's getting really tiring, and you're pushing yourself to the limit. I tell myself, I I need to finish this. Uh the better I do, the faster I run, or the faster I go, the better I do, the better I'm going to look, the more people are gonna love me, more people are gonna respect me. So it's pride and vanity. But that works, I guess.

The Hand Accident That Changed Life

SPEAKER_05 23:03

Yeah, in that moment. Yeah, and you've had your share of pain because we can get into your hand story now. Um, we can show the picture. I thought we'd show the picture that Robin has up of you so young holding it up.

SPEAKER_00 23:16

I got some more gruesome pictures too.

SPEAKER_05 23:18

Okay. So just walk us through what happened.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

What happened? Um it was a Friday afternoon, 3 15 p.m. on March 3rd, the year 2000. Uh I don't remember, I was trying to think of this the other day. I don't remember if it was a two-day building or just a one-day building, but we were finishing the building that day. I I think it was just uh like a plain 30 by 40 that at back in those days we could build in one day pretty easy. Um we probably had 45 minutes left to finish. 315 I was putting on the top gorn the top gable corner pieces, um, which you have to extend the ladder to the tallest portion of the gable on the building. And uh where we were building this building was on a site that a building had burnt down. It wasn't one of our buildings, it's like an old garage that had burnt down, so there's already concrete foundation, and there was a lot of soot and ash on the concrete. And looking back, I can even remember, you know, walking on it, soot and ash on top of concrete can be a little slippery. Anyways, been up and down the ladder. I had done the lower portions of the gable corner pieces. Um, the top piece is you cut it in half and it folds over the top and covers the very peak and a little bit down on both sides. So it wasn't like the first time going up on a ladder that day. So we had been used to being careful, I imagine, with the slipperiness. But for whatever reason, I was carrying up the corner piece in one hand, using my other hand on to walk up the ladder to the top, got nearly to the top or just to the top, and was gonna put the corner piece on. And at just at that time I felt the ladder started to slide beneath my feet, meaning it was sliding at the bottom. My first reaction was to throw my arm and hand over the top of the building to try and catch myself, maybe swing myself on top of the building or hold on to something. Uh obviously, in the moment not realizing that what I was putting my hand over was the top of the sheer side steel. So falling so quickly, it was just a fleeting attempt to catch myself. So as I fell, my hand was over the top of the steel, so it just cut and shaved that part of the bottom of my hand off as I fell to the ground. I remember uh I landed pretty well. I could have been worse, I could have been more injured by that, but I landed pretty much on my feet and went straight to my butt. I don't remember if I I doubt that I grabbed my hand to protect it as I fell. That would have been too fast, but either way, uh immediately as I hit the ground, I knew there was something hurt on my hand, so I put a grip with my other hand on my wrist as tight as I could because it was already gushing blood. I stayed quite calm somehow. Um, I know I was really mad. It's you never want to get hurt, it just ruins your day.

SPEAKER_05 26:28

It's Friday night. You probably had big plans. You were what, 19?

SPEAKER_00 26:31

I had a date that night with somebody that I just started seeing. And I remember thinking about that. I was like, I just ruined uh a date I was looking forward to having having that night. Um I told somebody to give me their t-shirt, or maybe I I think I had my t-shirt off and it was on the ground, and they said, give me give me a shirt and wrap around my hand, and I put another another grip on it. I didn't really look at it, but I think I took a peek at it and didn't really want to look at it. Um and I told I think it was Jeremy Hippon actually to call 911 and uh you know give them the directions to how to get here. And I think I told the guys what to finish on the building. Carl Early was uh putting up the garage door. Oh, the chunk of hand fell on the garage door, I think, too. I told you.

SPEAKER_05 27:19

It's like a big piece of meat.

SPEAKER_00 27:21

Fairly big. I mean it wasn't that big, but it was big enough to try it to think that it might be worth salvaging. I think the garage door was up already, so it fell through the inside of the building, landed on the top of the garage door. So we had to close the garage door to get it. I said uh put it in a cooler if anybody has some ice, and I'll I'll take it with. So I walked to the end of the driveway. It wasn't a very long driveway, uh, maybe a hundred yards or less from the building, and uh said I'll just wait for the ambulance. Ambulance came, looked back, made sure everybody knew what to do to finish the building. I don't know why I was concerned about that, but uh, I always like to shoot for records on finishing buildings quickly. I wasn't quite as detail-oriented as the guys are nowadays, I was more about speed. But uh, anyways, the ambulance showed up. They parked, got out. Obviously knew I was the one that needed attention, and uh they asked me quickly what happened, and I said I cut my hand really bad. They said, Okay, help me get into the back of the ambulance. And one of them said, Well, you gotta let go with your other hand so we can see what's going on. I said, Well, it's gonna bleed really, really bad. They said, We understand, but we gotta see it. Well, they started unwrapping the the t-shirt, and I let go with my other hand, and the blood just I think it sprayed went right in the guy's face. Sprayed all over the back. And I said, Okay, you can put your hand back on it. And I put another grip on it, and then they started bandaging it and put a tourniquet on and started heading towards the closest hospital.

SPEAKER_05 29:04

How many surgeries did you end up having?

SPEAKER_00 29:08

Six altogether over a year and a half, but the last two were mostly cosmetic. Um, the surface of area of the injury was pretty good size, so uh what they did for the last two surgeries was implanted a balloon underneath the skin on the forearm that they could inflate every week to stretch out that skin so that after it was stretched out a certain amount, they could cut it open, pull it forward, stitch it tighter and closer, and then it would be less of a scarred surface area showing. So then after that, each time had to work on you know stretching the skin back out and mobilize getting mobility from the hand. And then after that, of course, was a lot of physical therapy.

SPEAKER_05 29:55

And skin grafts.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

Yeah, and the initial surgery involved a skin graft that was taken from my leg, a nerve graft that was taken from my ankle, and a vein graft artery that was taken from my forearm. Um, they used vein grafts twice to replace the artery that was completely cut out from the initial accident. Both times it collapsed, it wouldn't retain, it wouldn't stay, it just collapsed and wouldn't continue with blood flow. So we just gave up on that because your hand will develop capillary and you know smaller veins and stuff and supply blood. But uh it did have long-term effects by not having that full flow of blood circulating through my hand. Um the half outside half of my hand gets cold, easy. Uh it's weaker than it should be because it's not getting that oxygen and blood flow. Like initial strength is not quite normal, but close to normal strength, but it weakens extremely fast because not getting that constant flow of oxygen to the muscles. So it gets cold pretty easy because of the blood flow and a little bit weak um or greatly reduced endurance because of that blood flow loss. Interestingly, just in the last couple of weeks, I started getting feeling on the outside of my foot in my pinky toe and for the first time in 2016.

SPEAKER_04 31:29

Oh, since I took a 26 years, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:32

Because that half of my foot was numb as well. So the half of the hand that gets cold and weak easily also was numb because of all the vein or nerve loss that was in there. Every year since, maybe not starting from the first year, but after five years, I could tell every year I would get just a little bit more feeling. It's still not 100%, but it seems like I get a little bit more sensation every single year. But my foot had no changes until just the last couple of weeks. And it's really awkward. It's having feeling in my pinky toe for the first time in 26 years is kind of weird feeling. I don't really like it. So it's not all there, it's just like coming back. So it's the first sensations. Maybe if it continues to get better and the nerves grow, maybe one day it'll feel normal.

SPEAKER_03 32:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:26

But for now, I almost wish it was just still numb because it's an awkward feeling right now. It didn't make me it wasn't a de never felt like a detriment. It didn't cause any issues with running or anything. Um but I'm wondering if uh the increased amount of running I've done the last couple of years, that impact has encouraged that new nerve growth more rapidly.

SPEAKER_05 32:48

Or the peptides.

SPEAKER_00 32:49

Suddenly, or the peptides. Yeah, maybe.

SPEAKER_05 32:52

I remember hearing that if it had happened six months earlier, they didn't have the technology and they would have had to take your hand off. Is that true?

SPEAKER_00 33:00

If it had happened one day later, they probably would have amputated as well. The uh surgeon that ended up doing the operation uh was actually just visiting for a conference from California. He was a nerve, micronerve surgeon specialist. And he was in town or at that hospital and somehow heard about this young man that came in with a really bad hand accident, and they were talking about amputation because they had already been discussed, they were half halfway preparing to amputate. I think they were gonna go into surgery and see what they could do, but with the caveat that they would probably end up just cutting it off, amputating. Well, the surgeon happened to be there, heard about my case, happened to be the right spot at the right time, right place. And uh when he told me about it after we said that I told him I can save this kid's hand. We just have to do a lot of nerve replacement. So, Dr. Brian Cabinia.

unknown 34:02

Wow.

SPEAKER_05 34:02

That's wonderful. And mom and dad were on vacation, weren't they?

SPEAKER_00 34:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 34:07

Is that kind of tough? I mean, you were an adult, but like not having mom and dad here to take care of it.

SPEAKER_00 34:13

Well, I told everybody too not to tell them right away. I think they were planning on they were on a road trip driving, and they may have either been on their way back already or getting ready to head back this way. And I knew that if dad knew that I was in the hospital, that he would probably drive through the night or risk driving too much or too long or too fast to try and make it home, and I didn't want him to do that and potentially get in an accident and something happened to him just to come and see me.

SPEAKER_05 34:43

Yeah. Because there wasn't anything that he could do other than I'm sure you told me, don't tell mom and dad, and I'm like, I'm bad at secrets.

SPEAKER_00 34:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 34:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:53

I wouldn't want to hear bad news if there's nothing you can do about someone that you really care about, and you're so far away that you can't be there to console them.

SPEAKER_05 34:59

For sure.

SPEAKER_00 35:00

Or see them and see that they're okay.

SPEAKER_05 35:02

Yeah. When I'm on trips, like I usually don't really ask for pictures or videos of polka now that she's older, because I'm like, what if they I don't want to make them tell me something horrible while I'm gone either, you know?

SPEAKER_00 35:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 35:16

Like deal with it. Like what can you do?

SPEAKER_00 35:18

Lindsay was recently gone for a couple of days and uh she always asked, you know, how are my cats doing? And I said, Well, if something happened, would you really want me to tell you? Right. Or just wait till you get home.

SPEAKER_04 35:30

Right. For sure.

SPEAKER_05 35:32

Um, so uh oh yeah, so is there a struggle with it that you haven't talked about or shared with people or that people wanted expect?

Painkillers And Avoiding Dependence

SPEAKER_00 35:43

I've shared a little bit with with people a struggle that I had. Um kind of goes along with the theme of your your show. Uh after all those surgeries, I was obviously in need of lots of painkillers um to help with the pain after surgeries and the pain with rehabilitation. And after that many surgeries in that length of time, um, I was on some pretty strong painkillers. In 2000, I think that was probably before what we would call the opiate epidemic. Uh I don't think I had oxycottin back then, but it was Percocet and Vicodin for sure. And I remember after the last surgery, um, well after, I was still getting prescriptions for the pain, and I think I knew that I only had so many refills left. Um and I remember hiding pills around the house as like backups and trying to go as long as I could between each one because I knew it was coming to an end. Well, I ended up actually telling my doctor I said I might need some help getting off of these, and is there like a program? And they end up creating a a weaning program where they reduced the strength at first of what I was getting and then the type of painkillers I was getting. So it might have gone from Percocet to Vicanin to um prescription Tylenol 3 with codeine and so on and so forth. But it was hard to get that ready to let go of it.

SPEAKER_05 37:22

I never thought about that. How easily you could have been a victim of the opiate. Yeah. No kidding. If this happened to you today at this age compared to at 19, which do you think you could have handled it better now or worse? Because I could see both, you know. Things aren't get harder as we're older, but things are hard when we're young kids.

SPEAKER_00 37:57

So pros and cons of both, I I think. Um I was young enough where I thought I was I was still at the age where you think you're invincible. Um up until recently I probably still still did. I I still kind of think I am, but I'm old enough to realize I'm actually not. Uh the older I get, the more I acknowledge or accept that I'm not as invincible as I used to be or used to think I think I was.

SPEAKER_05 38:27

Um did having grandkids maybe change that? I know it changed our brother Steve a lot.

SPEAKER_00 38:33

Yeah, I think that that made yeah, that was definitely a factor. Yeah. I'm just thinking about my mortality more the older I get. I one thing that for some reason I uh get really concerned about my eyes and eyesight the older I get. I uh I think I used to go five, ten years between an eye exam, but the last few years I get one every year just because I want to make sure my eyes are still healthy because I realize just how important vision is and how hard it would be to to lose that. Um that might be partly because I have some friends that have lost eyesight, and I have a friend who lost one eye because of glaucoma, and now he can hardly see out of the other eye and he can't go deer hunt anymore, which he was his favorite thing to do in the world. So making sure my eyes are healthy has been an important thing to me that I never would have thought about before years ago.

SPEAKER_05 39:30

Yeah, and you did quit nicotine after 33 years. I remember that um being a big deal. How did you do that?

SPEAKER_00 39:40

I had tried quitting a few times over the years before that. Um typically just cold turkey, or if I did try to wean off, it just wasn't successful. What uh other than just really being determined, what really helped was uh the use of nicotine pouches. It made it much easier to wean off again, kind of like I had to do with uh with the painkillers. Um I spent about a year reducing how much nicotine I was using in each time and each day. So I think I started out with uh when I switched from actual tobacco chew, I uh was doing using two six milligram pouches at a time. And then after a month or so I would only allow myself to put in one six milligram at a time. And then I bought a bunch of three milligram pouches, and uh sometimes I'd just do th one of the threes, sometimes I'd do two of the threes if I felt like I needed it until I could get by with only having one of the threes at a time. And then uh all the way down to uh I think I found one of the brands had two milligram pouches, and then I found a one milligram gum. I think that really helped because uh I didn't really care for chewing gum that much. So at first I it helped because I was getting a little bit of nicotine at a time, again, just weaning down, but it was easy to finally say I'm only getting one milligram at a time, and I don't really enjoy chewing gum that often. So after the last one was gone, I just well now I'm finally done with it, I don't have to worry about it anymore.

SPEAKER_05 41:37

You said you were determined to quit. What in your head changed that made you want to be that determined?

SPEAKER_00 41:44

Two things, partly health. I figured uh tobacco, tobacco was nicotine I wanted to quit for health reasons. Um I actually think that a little bit of nicotine salt, like the pet the pouches without other additives and stuff, is actually can be healthy for you. Um that's another topic or subject, but I was really tired of being dependent on that thing. I always had to know where my can was. I always had to after every meal I'd put one in, it was just constant protocol to always have one. And that feeling of panic when you don't know where your can is, even though it might actually be in your pocket, but you didn't feel it there at first, and you gotta double check and make sure you still got it. I hated having that.

SPEAKER_05 42:38

Yeah, something must have clicked in your head of like, it's controlling me at this point.

SPEAKER_00 42:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 42:43

Because I'm not okay until I know where it is, even yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:47

I've had a few things like that in my life too. I think I told you the story about the chapstick. In high school, I used to always have to have a tupa chapstick in my fifth pocket and my jeans. I don't remember that I use it that often, but I always had to have it. And I finally thought, well, I'm sick of always feeling that this need to have it, and then and panicking if I don't know where it is when when I go out, or if did and then even panicking, did I forget, did I leave it in my pants before I threw it in the wash, and now the wash can be full of chapstick. And uh there's other things too, like mom can tell you in uh when I was a teenager, especially I think, in my closet, I had to have all of my hangers just perfectly so. I had my certain color t-shirts had to be all in groups, uh, and then polo shirts, and then long sleeve shirts, and they all had to have their own color hanger, and all my hangers had to be one finger width apart, and that would I would freak out if one was out of place. I finally got tired of being so OCD O C D about it. So I just messed it up and I said I'm not gonna do that anymore.

SPEAKER_05 43:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:52

Now I still do it a little bit, but not OCD. Like I still like to have things organized. I don't like I don't like messes either. I still have to have things organized, but not OCD. And I'm not I don't ever panic if feel like I'm panicking if my hangers are some are two inches apart and some are touching each other.

SPEAKER_05 44:10

We got just enough OCD from our father that we are OCD, but we can control it and recognize it and try and change it. Because yeah, there's things that I do that I'm like, I could really keep doing that. I could really make this a thing, but I'm going to not. I'm going to purposely not let my brain be as happy as it would make me to make it that perfect.

SPEAKER_00 44:33

Yep.

SPEAKER_05 44:34

Yeah.

unknown 44:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:35

If I didn't recognize it, it wouldn't be a problem. No.

SPEAKER_05 44:38

It would just be everybody else's problem. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you just went seven weeks without drinking too. Um what changes did you see?

SPEAKER_00 44:49

Oh, I slept way better. Um I have an aura ring and I track my uh um sleep patterns, um my HRV or heart rate variants, uh heart rate, uh sleep score, you know, all the things that the that the ring data gives you. Um yeah, that was a that was a huge difference. Uh I recognize that every time I drank or I drank, I would always wake up at like two or three o'clock in the morning. And I think that was because that's when the alcohol wore off. So it seems to be that you sleep, you fall asleep easier and faster and harder for a little while, but then maybe after the alcohol wears off, the rest of your night is just junk. You don't sleep well at toss and turn and snower, and so I think that is a big difference.

SPEAKER_05 45:52

Yeah. I was gonna say about the nicotine too. I'll never forget um something that I always told myself to quit was um remember, we'll bleep her name out. But um I remember saying to you one time, oh my gosh, why does it look so good? And you were like, Oh, because she quit smoking three months ago. And I was like, Yes, like her face just looks so much cleaner and not so bloated, and everything about her just looks better. So that was a big thing to help me quit nicotine too. So the vanity thing.

SPEAKER_00 46:28

For sure. Yeah, yeah, a little vanity is good for you.

SPEAKER_05 46:31

We kept that part of our vanity because it is important for survival, you know, to take care of ourselves, to want to work out.

SPEAKER_00 46:38

Yep. Um while not drinking, um I lost uh over the last few months I lost 22 pounds. Um for a number of reasons, just for to be a little healthier, see if uh being a little lighter would help you run a little better. Um and I wanted to get in good cardiovascular shape and work on my blood pressure before my uh biannual DOT physical. Um so part of the seven weeks of no drinking was also for that uh just spring cleaning, get a little healthier, go through a little spell of being a little extra healthy uh in preparation to do well on a on a physical.

SPEAKER_03 47:30

No.

SPEAKER_00 47:31

Maybe some people would think that you should get a physical done at your worst to see what you need to work on.

From Work Injury To Chef School

SPEAKER_05 47:38

Um, I don't know, but and um so I'm sure there's little blessings that you found throughout your life for this hand accident, you know. I mean, who knows where you would be right now? Maybe you would still be in Minnesota building pole buildings, but the first thing it led you to was going to school to be a chef. What made you decide to do that? It's another thing of working with your hands. Was there anything in that decision of um I have my hand back, I'm going to physical therapy, I'm gonna go use my hands? Because when you were building, that was all hands.

SPEAKER_00 48:10

Yep. I thought about what passions I had. Um when you get hurt in a construction accident, you make or you get money from Workman's Comp uh for reimbursing your wages while you can't work. Um, but part of that is if you have an injury that prohibits you from being able to do what you were doing physically or for whatever reason, um there's typically a monetary settlement uh to help you go into another career path, basically. Um so I had money available to spend on reschooling for another potential career path. So I thought about it for a while, you know, like what what else would I like to do? Um thought about passions I had and I I liked cooking. Um, you know, our mom and her grandmas were exceptional cooks, and uh I thought uh I really enjoyed cooking and thought it would be neat to get a lot better at it. Um, but I also recognized that it would be extremely good physical therapy for my hand because of what it entails with all the use of all the uses that you use your hands for and cutting stuff and everything general and culinary. So I recognized that it would be beneficial for a couple of different reasons, and that's why I chose to do it. And I think it did make a really big difference in my rehabilitation physical recovery.

SPEAKER_05 49:42

I can remember when you were in the eggs part, you were like on your ninth week of eggs, like every week was making different like scrambled and then over easy. And what's your favorite thing to cook now?

SPEAKER_00 49:55

Yeah, it's a common thing that people ask like, what's your favorite dish or what's your favorite thing to cook? Uh definitely um sauces. I like making all different kinds of sauces. Um, as you know, I make a barbecue sauce that everybody really seems to enjoy. I'm kind of proud of that. I didn't want to make five different types of barbecue sauces. As you know, there's hundreds of different flavors and types of barbecue sauce.

SPEAKER_05 50:19

Such a big deal down in Texas for sure.

SPEAKER_00 50:22

Tons of different pro different flavor profiles. Well, my goal is to make one that went good with everything. Because there are certain certain meats, certain dishes, certain things that certain barbecue sauces just pair with better. Well, I didn't want to make five different ones. I just my goal is to make just one, but had a flavor profile that worked on pretty much everything. And I think I did a pretty good job of that.

SPEAKER_05 50:46

That's great. What is the difference for when you're cooking for yourself versus other people?

SPEAKER_00 50:55

I enjoy plate presentation when I'm cooking for other people. Um, like to impress, you know, yeah, they say you everybody eats with their eyes first. So a good looking presentation can overcome a somewhat poor tasting dish. It can help compensate a little bit if it needs it.

SPEAKER_05 51:19

Even better if they're both good, but it gives you that feeling of you're eating something fancy, so your endorphins and your dopamine is already going off, so you're just gonna like the meal more, I think.

SPEAKER_00 51:30

And you can see the glow in people's eye when they see something, a pretty presentation or something that just looks enticing and tasty before they eat it and impressive.

SPEAKER_05 51:40

When Dusty lived in my basement and he would use my fancy plates and bowls, and I would get so mad, like, I bought you your own plastic dishes, like because you don't and he's like, Well, they're just plates and bowls. I'm like, food tastes better to me when I'm eating it on a fancy plate. You know, it tastes better when it looks good.

SPEAKER_00 51:58

Yeah. We use a lot of paper plates at home, but I find myself still using real plates, even if I'm just making something simple for myself. I just I feel better eating off a real plate than a paper plate. But if I'm in a hurry or in a rush or whatever, it's I'm not like totally against using paper plates once in a while.

Fleet Management At Massive Events

SPEAKER_05 52:18

And that's perfect for where you work now. Your um career is a very prestigious, catering and hospitable hospitality company. Um, so they do all the fancy presentations like that. Uh Rosemary Kowalski, the founder, was a legendary business figure in San Antonio. She died at 100 years old. And I remember you saying how the whole city was in mourning, and you could just feel that everywhere, flags half-mast and just a sadness all around. Um, and I remember meeting her. So I got to go to her where you work, and we happened to pass her in the hallway, and she was with her assistant and her bodyguard and her driver. And um we stopped and you were like, Oh, Rosemary, this is my sister visiting from Minnesota. And I'll just never forget how um touching that moment was because she looked at me and said, I'm sure that you guys miss having Michael in Minnesota, but we need him here so bad. He makes our lives easier. And um, you know, I just I just couldn't do it without him. So thank you for allowing him to be here with us. And it was just so sweet, you know, to know that somebody um that important was recognizing your importance, you know.

SPEAKER_00 53:36

Yeah, she was very sweet.

SPEAKER_05 53:37

Yeah. Um, so yeah, they've cooked for the Pope, the Queen of England, events of 20,000 people. There's a PBS special about her. What is the energy like when the scale gets that big when it's that exciting of things happening right where you are?

SPEAKER_00 53:56

It's pretty neat. Um, you know, I had never seen anything like that before. I uh the way I actually got the job was kind of happenstance. I wasn't actively looking hard for a job at that time. Um like you mentioned, it's a catering hospitality company. It's evolved into a lot of uh big sporting event and emergency management services company as well since I've been there. But uh my culinary I don't use my culinary experience there at all. It just happens to be that I have culinary experience and it's a catering company, but my job there is the fleet manager. The uh um it's got a fancy name. The hiring person who found me Acquisition of Talents, I think is her was her title. Anyway, she came across my resume. I think I just had it like left on Monster indeed or something like that. Um and she thought it was just so neat that somebody with fleet management experience had culinary experience, what a good fit that would be for because they were looking for a fleet manager that I just happened to have culinary experience to kind of fit into the whole company theme, even though not necessary for the job. So it was just kind of neat how that all worked out.

SPEAKER_05 55:25

Yeah. So you get to be around all the fancy uh setups that they have, and um, do you ever get to see the food before um it goes out or like Yeah, I've seen a little bit of the behind the behind the screen or behind the scenes stuff.

SPEAKER_02 55:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:40

Yeah, it's uh it's pretty amazing how much they can produce and put out, especially in our mobile um equipment. We have it's basically like 53 foot dry van trailer, semi-trailers converted into fully operational mobile kitchens. Um it's outfitted with you know top of the line state of the art cooking equipment. Uh I think the numbers that I've heard or seen that they can make like 10,000 meals a day. I mean, that's just an incredible volume. It's they're so efficient yet producing such a high quality product at the same time, too.

SPEAKER_05 56:34

Um, yeah, so Maser and I were just talking about how exciting it is to be a part of something new. I think even you said yesterday that new ventures are so exciting. Um, like this is why we like football games and movies. Um we just want to know that something in our lives matters is gonna make a difference. And Rosemary starting this as a woman, building it from nothing in 1949, like does that mean anything to you personally?

SPEAKER_00 57:06

It's a really cool success story, yeah. Um, this hearing how somebody started with a small little barbecue shop cafe uh in the outskirts of uh downtown San Antonio, and what it's become today. Just getting to understand that legacy and the people that were involved with it is real cool to be part of.

SPEAKER_05 57:35

And your job as um fleet manager, you said how many semis do you um I'll have been there ten years this September.

SPEAKER_00 57:46

When I started, they had company wide um maybe around a dozen box trucks and a couple of pickup trucks and cars and SUVs. Uh and quickly within the first couple of years expanded to like 30 to 40 trucks, box trucks. Um where today I now manage 134 vehicles, everything from small pickup trucks to passenger vans to shuttle buses to 26 foot long box trucks, refrigerated trucks, refrigerated vans, and a couple of semi-trucks, and about 20 semi-trailers and 60, 70 other specialty emergency management use trailers, um, kitchens, restrooms, sh mobile showers, mobile dishwashing equipment, uh, in trailers, mobile laundry equipment in trailers, uh, everything that you can think of mobile to service everything around food and emergency services.

SPEAKER_04 58:57

What do you like most about it?

SPEAKER_00 59:05

That there's actually I'm still challenged and there's new things happening and going on all the time.

SPEAKER_05 59:13

It's like a m ever-moving puzzle, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_00 59:16

Yeah, it's it's not boring.

SPEAKER_05 59:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:19

There's always new challenges and and new adventures and new new customers and new clients and new venues and new new bigger, better, greater things always happening.

Animal Rescue Dreams And Compassion

SPEAKER_05 59:28

Yeah, it's like a workout for your brain. What did you say uh your dream was up at the family farm to have like a million animals up there a couple years ago, you said? Um, because like your heart is so big for animals. You guys take in every stray that you see.

SPEAKER_00 59:45

Yeah, it's never really thought about it, like putting it into action. Um, but just as a a fleeting dream, would be really cool to have a giant animal sanctuary for like stray dogs, especially. Um there's a guy that me and Lindsay follow on social media, Asher House, I think is the name of it. This that's this guy that's just incredibly sweet. He's he's actually a big, strong, tough looking guy, um, but he's just a teddy bear, sweetheart loving human being of animals, especially dogs, and he rescues every single dog he can he can afford to, and has this big sanctuary out west somewhere like Montana or something, a large farm. And uh when you watch him rescue these dogs, he's just he just melts. And um the life that he's able to give these shelter and abandoned and needy dogs is just incredible and inspiring.

Lucid Dreams And The Mind

SPEAKER_05 1:00:50

So growing up, you like we said, were eight years older than me, so we were like living very different lifestyles. Um, I remember you worked at the Dairy Queen in the evenings. So I think that must have been why I wanted to start pen paneling with each other. I was probably whiny and like, I never get to talk to you anymore. So my pen panel name was CC, Crazy Cat, and yours was D D, Daring Dog. Um, and yeah, that's a really good memory just uh waking up in the morning and having notes from you. Um, because otherwise I was kind of like an only child, just home bored all the time. Um, and you've been doing some writing again lately. Uh, you have a list of topics that you let me pick from uh once or twice a month. Um, some of the topics have been the beach, um, instant gratification, imposter syndrome, grandmothers, neighbors. And I was looking through some, and this one seems super, super not themed, so I wanted to read it. Last night I dreamt that I had somehow traveled back in time, carrying with me the knowledge of the years between the past and the future I came from. I kept waking up, but each time I would slip back into the dream, caught in a strange state between waking and dreaming. I found myself wondering if my entire self traveled back, or was it only my consciousness? Is our awareness bound to the present moment, or can it move freely through time? One word kept echoing in my mind, nostrramas. I kept repeating it, trying to understand why. I thought about predictions and prophecy. Was he just an unusually insightful man of his time, or was he somehow a traveler, like I was, someone from the future who was going back in time to leave clues? Or maybe it was only his consciousness that moved across time, granting him visions of what was to come. I love that one so much. And you are so good at remembering dreams.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:43

Like yeah, I always have been, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:45

Yeah, and then you like worked on it.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:47

Yeah, mom actually bought me uh books about lucid dreaming and encouraged it too. Once I expressed that I I must have always told her about my dreams, and she recognized that I was always remembering dreams and talking about dreams, and she had the uh wherewithal to encourage that and help help with that.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:07

So you realize you're dreaming all the every time that you can wake yourself up in a dream or yeah, it's like anything.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:14

You you have to work at it and exercise. Um, I'll go through spells where I don't think about it for a while and lose the ability to easily remember my dreams and to go in and out of them as I wake up in the middle of the night or the morning. Um, but when I make an effort to work on them and practice them, it comes back pretty quickly and and easily. And yeah, I I dream a lot and I have very strange dreams, and they're just they're always so so enjoyable. Um I think I've had a handful of what you might call nightmares in my life, just not so pleasant dreams before, but 99.9% of the time, just super interesting, weird, fun dreams to remember and think about. Like, what what did that mean? What was I why was I thinking about that? Why would I dream? Or how is that something somebody would dream about? Like, why?

SPEAKER_05 1:04:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:11

This odd, odd, goofy but fun stuff.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:14

Yeah, do you ponder a lot? Why do we dream? Like, why do you think we do, evolutionary-wise or spiritual-wise?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:22

I haven't pondered myself to try to determine or decide what it what it means, but from what I understand from reading about it in neurological science is that it's uh has to do with our minds making sense of things. Um I don't know if I've mentioned before, but I've oftentimes been able to solve issues or come to conclusions on something that I had been working at and having a hard time understanding or figuring out. Like back when I built pole buildings, I sometimes would have a difficult project coming up, um like a different style of box deeve or something that I wasn't familiar with or wasn't just good at and I would dream about and I'd wake up and oh, that's how you do it.

Faith, Meaning, And Mortality Questions

SPEAKER_05 1:05:11

Yeah, we're probably easier to s access our subconscious when we're dreaming. Because you're supposed to think about problems before you go to bed and wake up with the answer. Yeah. I don't do that enough. So why do you believe we're here on this planet? What do you believe in?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:29

Why do I believe we're here on this planet? Why? Um I believe there's things that we should do, I d I don't know if I believe that's why we're here, but since we're here, I believe there's certain things that we should do, like be kind to other people and help people. And Oh, that's a tough question. Um, the Bible says we should multiply. We should have children and multiply and inhabit the earth and spread the good word and praise God and give him glory, things like that.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:20

I had just heard an idea that what if God was up in heaven and he was around the most beautiful things you could ever imagine, all the jewels, all of the colors, and he was sitting on the throne in the middle of it all, but he's blind and he can't see any of it. And the only way he can see anything is through us. So that's why he sent us here to see. And so we're supposed to see and look and be present for him and experience it as much as possible because then he can see through us. So I like that idea of why we're here.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:58

It's an interesting concept.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:00

So yeah, I've been thinking a lot more lately than I always have, but the origin of God or the creator, whatever you may believe in. If you believe in God, that's that's one thing. It's easy to well, somewhat easy to have faith and believe in higher being and that being God. But I find it harder to wrap my head around where he came from, what's what started God. Well, that's kind of a social construct of something has to be started or created or came from somewhere. Um I guess time or beginning or creation or anything that we think is a logical thought that wouldn't matter to that wouldn't mean anything to God. So he doesn't have to have started from somewhere or a certain time or be somewhere. Maybe we are all in his mind, using his as a vague way of describing what what God is, but I don't know. It's there's just crazy. Can't wrap my head around what could possibly be the right answer.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:17

Yeah, it's my favorite thing to think about, but also I don't think God wants us spending too much time thinking about it because we're supposed to be experiencing.

unknown 1:08:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:26

But if he wanted us to know, he would have given us that knowledge.

How Others Describe Michael

SPEAKER_00 1:08:30

So Yeah. Yeah. It's a tough one.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:33

Okay, now we're to the segment where I reveal to you how people see you. So last week I asked you to give me names and numbers of people I could reach out to that know you well, and I asked them to describe you with six to seven adjectives each, and then I put all those words together, and I'm going to let you know how people see you. And I do this because I just think that we're really bad at seeing ourselves, how other people see us. So your first word is unbreakable. Because you're strong, strong-willed, courageous, two said confident, athletic, driven, adventurous, manly, scary, and secretly savage. And your second word is safe. So from secretly savage to safe. So you're protective, two said loyal, dependable, trustful, forgiving, composed, magnanimous, steady, and two said steadfast. And your third word is deliberate, two said principled, two said strategic, intentional, astute, disciplined, assertive, and forthright. And your fourth word is endearing because you're charming, two said well light, easygoing, disarming, kindred, genuine, sarcastic, and corny. And your fifth word is perceptive, wise, knowledgeable, opinionated, teachable, and why why W-R-Y, how do you say that? Rye, you're Rye, which is a form of dry, ironic humor, twisted, and blending amusement with annoyance, which is so you. So that was the perfect word for you. And your synopsis is you're the kind of man people describe in contradictions, unbreakable, and yet you know how to bend. Safe in a way people don't take lightly, deliberate in a world that rewards reaction, endearing even when you're being savage about it. You treat your body like a battleground and a sanctuary. You've competed, you've bled, you've rebuilt, and you feed people, knowing that nourishment runs deeper than food. Please remember you are not these words, you are not your thoughts. You are the space between the words, the space between the thoughts. You're the one who knows you have thoughts, observe them, reflect on them, but know you are not them. A couple years ago when I was doing some kind of um self-work, it was like, think of a time when you are safe. And the time that always pops in my head popped in my head right away then and now always does when I think about a time I was safe was one time you and I were driving some windy roads in Wisconsin. You know, I always like that Minnesota was so much better than Wisconsin, and obviously it still is, but Wisconsin does have some a little bit prettier, hillier roads.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:33

Yeah, especially around the St. Croix River Valley.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:35

Yeah, and that's where we were. And I just remember thinking, like, gosh, I don't feel safe when any of my friends are driving fast. Mike is the only person I feel safe with driving fast. And you are just when you're around, it's just easy to feel safe and protected. And so it's nice to know everybody else feels that for me too.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:56

Feels nice to hear that too.

Rapid Questions And Core Values

unknown 1:11:58

Yeah, good.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:59

Uh, what do you have time for even when you're tired?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:08

Well, I'd like to say I have time for my family. Um I try my best to always be there and available. And if anybody in my family needs needs help with something, um it's pretty hard to say no. For sure.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:27

Uh if you could only live if you could only be one age for the rest of your life, what age would you be?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:35

Yeah, I thought you actually gave me that question beforehand. I thought about it a little bit. Um You would think that you'd want to be youthful. Somewhat for energy and strength and um looks and everything, I suppose. But uh I don't know if I had to pick like a particular age. Uh maybe forty. My first thought would have been like, you know, twenty-one because you're still old enough to do everything, twenty-five so you could rent a car. Um but I think the maturity that I've gained um was a pretty big leap around forty. I think and it was much easier to be happy at that time and still young enough to be pretty fit and healthy and still look pretty good, still had a little more hair than I have now. So forty's a good age, I think.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:43

Well, good, because I'll be 40 in less than a month. And just last night I wrote um this down that I'm gonna try and say every day. The happiest time of my life was when I turned 40, and then every year got better and better after that.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:00

So 10 years from now I might say 50.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:06

So, what do you do right now that you hope your grandkids do when they're your age?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:12

I hope they help out strangers once in a while, as long as it's safe. Um I feel good about myself when I do little things for people that I didn't have to that I don't know. Um like helping someone change the tire on the side of the road as you're driving by, you see somebody change the tire. I've done that a number of times, or somebody broke down, just needs to needs to jump on their battery on their vehicle. Or um I just remember this one. I saw a pretty old lady trying to push her car across the street in in California when when we left.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:48

Was I wet that time?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:50

We were all wet?

SPEAKER_05 1:14:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:51

Okay. Was it was like in uh by a target target parking lot or a store like that or something?

SPEAKER_05 1:14:55

Yeah, maybe this was a different it was me, you Steve, Nicole, and Lynn.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:59

I thought I was by myself this time. So yeah. Yeah, it's just two good things.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:04

And what do you do right now that you hope that they don't do when they're your age?

SPEAKER_00 1:15:11

I hope they and I hope nobody ever lets people that they love think that you're mad at them when you're grumpy or angry or upset with something that has nothing to do with them. Taking things out on your loved ones for no reason other than they're the ones around that you can let out your frustration with.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:41

And so true though. We take it out on the people we love the most because are we testing them to make sure that they'll still be there and still love us in a way?

SPEAKER_00 1:15:51

Comfort, you feel like you can get away with it because you're comfortable with them. But doesn't make it right.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:59

All right, anything that we didn't get to that you were wanting to talk about?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:05

Um did I answer when you asked about if uh I would have been able to handle my hand injury when I was younger or or older?

SPEAKER_05 1:16:19

Yeah, which do you think you could have handled that better now than you did then?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:29

I I don't know. I think uh physically I was able to handle it better back then because um still young enough to physically recover, recover well, but I struggled with for a while, you know, how I was gonna affect the rest of my life. Um having a big scar, having limitations, not being as strong, worried if I was gonna be as strong, um, able to do physical activities like you know, rock climbing and things that especially things that use your hand or throwing throwing a ball, catching a ball. There's things that are more difficult to do because of it. Uh so in my 20s, it was probably harder to deal with those limitations than if it had happened at an older age, I might not have worried about those limitations so much. So pros and cons of either one.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:27

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:29

Okay, well, after watching every episode and being here yourself, how was that?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:35

This is fun.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:36

Yeah. Um I was a little nervous at first, but I felt like I got comfortable pretty quickly.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:45

Awesome. Good. Well, thanks so much for coming on.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:48

Of course.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:49

Love you.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:49

Love you.