The Honest Pause Book Club: Starside by Alex Aster

This episode contains spoilers for Starside by Alex Aster.

Welcome to another episode of The Honest Pause Book Club.

Each week, we read a book and then take a pause—not just to discuss the plot, but to explore the bigger questions a story asks about our own lives. We host our book club on Fable, where readers from all over can read along with us, share their thoughts, and join the conversation. If you love books that spark meaningful discussions, we'd love to have you join us.

This week, we're diving into Starside by Alex Aster.

Instead of a traditional book review, we're asking questions like:

✨ Do you run from conflict or face it head-on?

✨ If you were handed an ancient sword, what would you name it—and why?

✨ How much of your life is shaped by destiny, and how much by your own choices?

✨ What expectations are you carrying that no longer belong to you?

✨ What are you willing to sacrifice for the life you want?

Along the way, we share our favorite moments, surprising twists, character opinions, and the scenes we're still thinking about long after turning the final page.

Whether you've already finished Starside or you're reading along with our book club, we hope this conversation leaves you with a few new questions to reflect on in your own life.

Because at The Honest Pause, we don't just review books.

We pause.

📚 Join our Fable Book Club: Read with us each week and be part of the conversation.

💜 Reading Retreats: Looking for a weekend to unplug, read, reflect, and connect with other readers? Learn more about our upcoming retreats and join the waitlist.

📲 Follow us on Instagram: @thehonestpause

⭐ If you're enjoying the podcast, we'd love it if you'd follow the show and leave us a review. It helps more people discover The Honest Pause and join our growing community of thoughtful readers.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey everyone, welcome to The Honest Pause. I'm Carol Rothri, actress, intuitive coach, and your co-host for Real Meaningful Conversations.

SPEAKER_00 0:09

And I'm Miriam Tyree, entrepreneur, business strategist, and your partner in navigating life's ups and downs.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

Here we talk about what happens when you hit pause, when we reflect and embrace the messy beauty of life.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

So whether you're here to reflect, recharge, or just have a good laugh, we've got you covered. Let's get started. Each month we read a book and then take a pause to talk about it, not just the story itself, but the questions that the book leaves us with and the way it really connects to our lives. We host this book club on Fable and on our Instagram, where anyone can join us throughout the month to share thoughts, reactions, quotes, and reflections. So whether you're a lifelong reader or just getting back into reading, we would love to have you read with us.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

Yeah. Have you read with us? Yeah. So uh I just okay, so we've discussed this the different book clubs that we've both been in. I absolutely I just love books. I love the smell of them, I love everything about them. Uh, we are currently reading Star Side. Yeah, I know yes, and I know that you finished the book. And I I readily admit to those of you listening, I have not had an opportunity to completely finish the book. But I have to say I would be interested in reading the sequel for sure. I would be. Do you want to go into um I it's a once again, it's a what do you call it, romanticy? And I've never I've never experienced romanticies until this woman here that I'm looking at uh got me into them. And I I'm gone. I'm sunk. I love them. So I'm enjoying our books. What are your thoughts?

SPEAKER_00 2:30

Yeah, this episode will contain some spoilers. So that's right. This is a warning. Okay. So if you haven't read it, don't listen to this podcast. But I will say, so this is not the typical book club that you might be expecting. So we don't summarize every chapter here. We aren't debating whether the book is objectively good or bad, usually. We find that there's like plenty of places for traditional reviews. Instead, we're really talking about what does this story reveal about being human or what questions does it raise? We're not traditionally reviewing books, we're really pausing and exploring the questions a story asks us about ourselves. So that is a little more about what you can expect in today's discussion.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

So, where do you want to start? You want to start from the very beginning, a very good thing.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

I think that I also just want to remind people that we are going to be hosting a number of reading retreats and creating spaces where people can step away from the busyness of everyday life and connect with other readers. So if that sounds like something you'll like, check out the show notes for more information. We would love to have you join us. I'll just give a quick summary and recap of the book, and then we'll talk about our sort of questions and the things that came up. So Star Side is the story of a woman who is really navigating this world shaped by power and love, loyalty, sacrifice-kind of the typical things that you would see in a romanticy book. I will say there are many tropes and things that you might be familiar with, but it's about a deadly competition where mortals from this more impoverished place enter this magical realm to seek vengeance or power or survive. And the main protagonist really wants to um get revenge for what has happened to her family. Um so that is kind of the beginning of the plot of the book. But what were your initial impressions of the book? Because we will start there and then we'll um dive a little deeper. But what did you feel this book really reveals about being human?

SPEAKER_01 5:10

Uh, well, just that. I mean, when you are we are allowed to do, yeah. So what happened to her family was atrocious. And to to feel that, which we we've all felt, we don't necessarily act on it in such a way, but that feeling of revenge, and again, that gives you, you know, pause for thought. Like, what is revenge? Is that really a good way to go about it? Like, how does one deal with this sort of thing? Um, I I personally revenge does not work. For me, it does not work. Um but to to see this character so driven and willing to go to nth degrees to achieve it, what she goes through physically, mentally, emotionally, the number of losses that this character has uh has had, then uh it's she doesn't give up. So to me, it's that drive. When you know, when you have that goal, whatever it may be, she will not give up. She just she is on this mission and she intends, even if it means her life goes, uh, and she will do it because there's such a drive in her.

SPEAKER_00 6:23

I will say, you know, she's an orphan because this one goddess killed her family over a prophecy. And I will say, like, you do see throughout the book that like she is so blinded by getting her family back. I have to take a step back and remember how old this character is. Like, I have to take a step back and remember she is not in her 30s or 40s or 50s. You have to remember the age of the character and what she is experiencing. I think it's really hard to know. If someone killed your whole family, would you for two years, three years, five years, ten years just want revenge? Or would you look to be at peace? Like, you know, I'm not in this person's shoes, obviously, and not experiencing the same thing. And I again I had to remember how young she was also, but it was hard for me at times. I was like, really? You're still like you're stuck on this thing. Um, and I think I did struggle with that a little bit. Uh the other thing that came up for me along this is how much of your life feels like something you choose, and how much feels like something has happened to you. And I think that's a really good question for all of us to think about is are you a victim to your life? Right? We all have things that are awful that have happened in our lives, and we can be a victim to them or we can see them. Like I've had very bad things happen and lost people and been in really bad situations, which have taken me a lot of time to heal, but I think I have learned from all of them, and so I have stopped trying for the most part to feel like wow, all of this stuff is like bad that's happening to me. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01 8:34

It makes sense. I think every single one of us have had moments where we have been the victim. And again, as you know, I keep talking about choice and what we can control. The only thing we can control is how we respond to things, is that we could sit in that place of victim, right? I mean, it admittedly, we've all had those moments, and it's not a nice place to be, and it's certainly not a nice place to sit in. Um we can choose to sit in it or we can choose to move on and go, okay, this is what happened, this is how I responded to it. Uh, and especially given this character and all the things that happened to her, she's making the choice to do something about it in her way. But for all of us in our lifetimes, it's not like we can start wielding swords and dragons and off we go, but we have that ability to say, okay, enough. I'm going to use what happened to me and make it better. I'm going to use it as a strength and not see it as a weakness and forge ahead. And hopefully, in turn, you know, if we have children, friends, family members, to also say, we don't have to, we, we, we don't have to stay in that place. We can move out of it.

SPEAKER_00 9:45

Yeah, a lot of this book, Isla, the main character, spends so much time carrying around the weight of expectations of other people. And I think that's something that we or expectations of even entire realms. Each of us carries around expectation, whether it's societal expectation or expectation of other people. How has expectation shown up for you similarly?

SPEAKER_01 10:17

And the expectations, uh the expectations others put on you, or the the expectations you put on you.

SPEAKER_00 10:24

Oh, I mean, we're women, we're moms. There are expectations of us in society of being women and being moms and being working moms, right? You know, she has all these expectations. What does it look like for us to? How do you deal with them? And and what do you set on yourself?

SPEAKER_01 10:42

That's the thing. I I mean, certainly when I was younger, when people would put those expectations, there's you just I don't like how my body would feel because it was like, I have to achieve this, I have to do this. And I certainly don't put the expectations on myself anymore. And nor do I. I mean, I say that and I I mean I still wobble, right? I if there is an expectation on me, I do wobble where if I feel like, oh, I haven't met it, I didn't meet it this time around. I didn't there, then I go into that place of berating myself for not meeting it. But then I turn it around. I go, actually, you know what? This is what I did. I did it to what I see I can achieve and how I can help another person. So I'm I'm good with that. I my own expectations are my drive, but I do not beat myself any my myself up anymore if it's not achieved the way I think it should be. And then any step, don't you think any step towards that expectation that is achieved is to me, it's a win.

SPEAKER_00 11:46

Yeah, but sometimes it can feel hard to look at that. We see I love in this achieving thing after achieving thing after achieving thing, and then there's more pressure to achieve the next thing. I think a lot of us can feel that constant pressure of, okay, well, I did this, now I have to do this. And it it makes sense. I mean, our society is set up like there is some specific path we are supposed to follow. Like you get married and you have kids and you do this and you do that in that order, or you go to like go to high school and then you go to college and then you get a job, or maybe you go to graduate school. There, our society is set up of like to be in this stage of constant achievement. So I I think a lot of people can really relate to the need to check boxes off and constantly achieve things.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

Yeah. And in this case, in this book, the expectations and the downfalls, oh my gosh, it's one thing after another for this character. And it's not just things that we dealt with in our everyday life. I mean, that that's another thing with the author. I have to mention, if we go back to the book, is the vision, like the vision and how she creates these different places, like the land of the mist. Like, did you find your mind going to oh, like I just love the fact that with the book, we're not looking at a movie and giving, you know, you're getting the um the vision of the creator of the of the movie. It's us. So when you were in the land, I'm just digressing from the real stuff to the book again. Um, when you went into that land of mist, what what was your vision like?

SPEAKER_00 13:34

Creepy, really creepy. I mean, and all of the bone trees and everything. Um, yeah, I think it's like really interesting when she was like, I have to choose a memory to give up. I started thinking about what memory would I give up? And it's that's what I did too. It was so hard to think about, like, and I I think she said maybe she was like, I only have like five or ten happy memories. And I was like, that makes me so sad. And then you remember how old she is again and everything.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

So that's that's a good question for everybody. Think about that because that would that was I stopped right away in that part of the book. I was like, oh my gosh, I don't think I could give away. How do you give away? How do you determine which memory you're willing to give up and having to give up? Because she needed that in order to have that to continue on with her her quest, but that is such a hard one. It is kind of reminds me. How do you choose? How do you choose a good memory? And doesn't it bring back it brought me back to what was that fabulous movie I watched? London watched it, where there was joy and anger. The characters remember, and they had the oh um inside out, yes, and the memories when some of them would crumble. Even that, I was like, no, we can't lose those memories. I know such treasures, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

It is really hard, and I will say I don't know how you choose, you choose the thing that like you're okay with not remembering, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 15:10

But they have to be heavy, or they have to be happy.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

They have to be heavy and happy. So another thing that comes up is that many characters spend a lot of time hiding things, there's lots of secrets, and who is someone and who are they not? So, is there anything you've ever not told people that you were afraid of? Like people seeing you a little bit differently because of it.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

No, I can't think of anything off the top of my head, to be honest. I tend to be a blabber and just go blah with whatever I have.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

I will say I used to be that way. I used to just be like an open book about things, and I have there, there's like circles, right? There's like certain things I keep very close to the chest. Um, because they feel the most personal and like the most impactful, and then there's there's layers to like what layer I let someone into because they're treasured, right? Yeah, or they're painful, or they're just complicated, but I think in many ways we've all kept a secret to protect someone else.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

Oh, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

I've done that, I think everybody has done that, and so that shows up in the book too. I know my answer to this because I think I said this already. Is there a difference between privacy and secrecy?

SPEAKER_01 16:36

That is a really good. I don't remember you asking this one. That's a really good question. Is there a difference? I don't know. There's something about that word secret. To me, secrecy comes when it's something that is given to me by somebody else. You know, the can you keep a secret? And if somebody tells me something, that I it never leaves. I never break that. That is a secret, and I feel privileged that somebody wants to share that with me. I would never break it. Privacy, privacy is something, uh, it goes to boundaries, and I think it's to be respected. You know, we have our we have our privacy, we have our boundaries, and I will decide, I will choose who, if or not, I wish to share any of that. So I think that's a healthy thing to have that. We it's very healthy to have our boundaries and secrets. If I choose to share one with another human being, it's going to be to somebody that I know that would never break it. That is, you know, that's that's how I look at it.

SPEAKER_00 17:38

What in a lot of this, there's these these decisions of like, do you run or do you fight? Are do you feel like when you know entered into a tournament like this, are you gonna be the person that's running and just trying to get away from people, or are you taking things and gross characters and people head on? Are you fighting?

SPEAKER_01 18:02

She does a bit of both, they the characters do a bit of both. Um I don't like the fact that I would run. I mean, it it's depends on the perspective. If it if I have my child with me, hell yeah, I'd say let's run it.

SPEAKER_00 18:19

I know, I'm just saying it's a very easy differentiation. If it's like my child, and we have like it, it's a whole different thing.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

Yeah. And also in this instance with the book, you know, if you you all decide to read it, or for those of you who have read it, um, there is a bit of both, and there's nothing to be uh looked at or frowned upon by the running because this these characters we're not dealing with the same stuff. These are crazy bloodthirsty invented characters and things that can do so much harm. Um, so yeah, you do you do a bit of both for sure. I also want to say one more thing about the character, though, when we're going to the book. We talk about the drive that she has for the revenge, but one thing she's never lost sight of is that she will do anything she can to save another human being, even if it's at her own cost. Um, so despite the pain that this young woman has gone through, she still finds it in her to care and wanting to help somebody else. And that to me is the big jewel in her in her character that she didn't, she hasn't lost that. She will still help another, even if it there's supposed to be rivalries, right? You it's like uh beat or be beaten kind of thing. She doesn't care, she'll still help another to the point where they'll even look at her and question, why would you even help me? It's because it's in her, it's in her to do it.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

If you were given a prophecy or you found out there was a prophecy about you, would you want to know?

SPEAKER_01 20:00

You know, I think I'd rather live in beautiful, ignorant bliss.

SPEAKER_00 20:05

I know that's that's the hard thing, is like in so many, in so many book series or so many, you know, movies and TVs, there's prophecies, and it's like I don't know that I would want to know, but I feel like half the time it's kind of inevitable, and you need to know to figure it out. But there are prophecies aren't just like, and Taryl is going to do this on this date, and this is how it's gonna happen. That just doesn't happen. You have to figure it out. It's like a lot of work. So I feel like most of these things end up being unavoidable. So I think I would have to hear it, even if it wasn't like something I was excited about.

SPEAKER_01 20:48

You know what, though, knowing you the way I know you, if you did know about a prophecy, it would consume you.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

I know. I would either be like, nope, that's not happening, or you know.

SPEAKER_01 20:58

Yeah. And I think most humans are like that. It would consume us. If you knew that, you would stop living. You would stop living in the moment because you'd be focused by that. So yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't want that.

SPEAKER_00 21:09

There are lots of ancient swords in this book. What would you name your ancient sword?

SPEAKER_01 21:20

Persephone. I have no idea why that name just popped up, but Persephone.

SPEAKER_00 21:25

I have been upset. I just read like two books with a character who is named Persephone. Yeah. Um, so I really like that name too. I was just like thinking about that. Um, I really like that name. I think that's a great Don't you love it? Yeah, I think I think I would have to come up with something like either I'm gonna go, and I can't remember what book this is in right now. Maybe it was in, I think it was in. Um one of the Everflame books, it was like I would pick something like so ridiculous. It was like this it and this is Colin, or this is like Fred or something, because that was like a very human name of like this is like my trusted friend. Um, I also really like the name Aurora, so something like that would be really at my alley, but I'm a big, big, like celestial person. So maybe something like Stardust or or like that too. But I don't know if it's like if it's this like loyal, I don't know, sword that you work with. Uh, I don't know, I want this like human connection as silly as that sounds.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

Can you imagine calling your sword Fred?

SPEAKER_00 22:43

I can't remember. In the Everflame books, I swear there's like a very human name for one of the swords. Um, somebody in the comments will will will call me out on this, but okay, what would the power of your sword be?

SPEAKER_01 23:00

Oh that's a hard one because there's so many things that are you know going around and I'm thinking about about the powers that she has with hers, they have with hers. It can meld, right? It can melt, it can create visions. Um because I I've always wanted to do the time travel thing, it would definitely I would want a time traveling sword. Being able to do that.

SPEAKER_00 23:27

Do you want to go in the past or in the future?

SPEAKER_01 23:29

Maybe both. Just for a little bit. Maybe to be a voyeur, just to see.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

Oh, to see. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

I wouldn't want to take part in it because God only knows what creatures there would be, right?

SPEAKER_00 23:40

Carol and Persephone, her time traveling sword. I love it. I'm here for it. I am so here for Terol's time traveling sword.

SPEAKER_01 23:54

Yeah, what's yours? What would yours be?

SPEAKER_00 23:59

I think this is the weirdest, weirdest, weirdest thing. I actually, you know, I don't really ever want a sword. First of all, okay, my honest opinion on swords, excuse me, is that they're heavy. And the second part of it, so yeah, swords are very heavy. Wielding a sword is a lot of work and requires a lot of strength. And wielding a sword means that you have to be physically very close to the person that you are engaging in sword play with or fighting or whatever you call it. So I'm not particularly keen on swords because it they're heavy, they require a lot of training, it means I have to like take be tasting this bit of somebody else. I would probably be more bow and arrow-y if I could, and if I could not have a sword and be farther away. I don't know. I don't, I don't think I'm particularly fond of hand-to-hand combat, but who knows? Um, but I would say I think if I had a sword, what would I want it to do? I would want it to be really good at the things that swords have to do. So, like break other swords or something like that. But I guess if I could like make it be anything I want, it would be very hypocritical. I'd want it to like be a healing sword or something, or like you slam it into the ground and it like grows food or something. Like, I just so you can.

SPEAKER_01 25:38

That would be your sword. That would be a fabulous sword.

SPEAKER_00 25:41

Yeah, do you feel like Isla grows in this book, or did she mostly kind of stick to the same things that bothered her and make the same mistakes?

SPEAKER_01 25:52

Isla. Who's Isla? Which one's Isla? Do you mean heiress?

SPEAKER_00 25:58

Yeah, sorry. I'm thinking of a different book. I'm thinking of Alex Astor's other book, Isla Crown. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

Just so you know, for those of you who are just tuning in and have not met Marian before, this woman is not normal. I I don't think I think normal is a bad word anyway. But when it comes to reading, she has five books on the go. And she can remember every I can't do that. To me, it's like we have to focus on this, follow that storyline. But no, she can have one on audio, one reading, and then maybe another two. She doesn't stop.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

So it makes sense that you're Violet Crown is Alex Astor's main character in her other series, starting that starts with Lightlark. I have no idea what the series is called, but sorry. Yes. Um did you read the whole thing though? I read all of that series. I think there's I think there's four. I'm like looking behind me. I think there's four. Um but yes, I did. So do you think that the main character grew luck? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

Uh where I'm where I'm at now, I've still got a little ways to go. Yes, I do. I think she still has those moments of following follow falling back. And as we discussed before, um, with this for me in this book, there's stories that it's like it keeps the different things keep being repeated. And there's a part of me that would like to edit it and have lessons be learned in a shorter way. That's that's my take on the on on this on the book and the writing of the book. Um I do feel she has grown, but again, it's hard to say you to see a definitive growth because then she keeps going back to the same behavior patterns. So it does frustrate.

SPEAKER_00 27:39

Like she frustrated me a lot. I'm not gonna lie. I was really frustrated with her for most of the book. I think if I had to give the book a rating, which I will not do, I rate the book higher and her as a character lower because I just found her sometimes immature and annoying. And I'm like, really, we're still on this, but then again, I have to remember if I were that age again, was I like this? Did I behave like this? I think we have to remember how old these characters are and the life that they have lived.

SPEAKER_01 28:12

And yeah, I I do think that that is something you don't see the growth in her venturing out on her own and doing this without Stellan behind her by taking chances to call on uh Valen. Is that the right how am I pronouncing it right? Balen Valen. Um the showing again, a spoiler, the showing of the markings that was never to be seen before. I find those little I think you're right.

SPEAKER_00 28:42

The markings part and the trusting people part. Yes, I do think she grows, but I think she's like still very immature, and like at the end of the day, she's just like cycling through the same conversations and the same things, but like life is hard and they're you know young and it's yeah, it's hard. So that's yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

What reminds me of my daughter who's upstairs, exactly. They repeat the same thing, it's just yeah, same thing. You're right. Anyway, go on, sorry.

SPEAKER_00 29:15

I think there's there's so much adventure and there's so many risks, and it begs, you know, there's friendship in here, and there's working on identity, and like why are we here? And there's a lot of you know, push and pull between you know, the gods and the elites and the different like tiers of people, immortals, another thing to say is, you know, we don't have the same class system, but do you feel that ever? Do you feel that in our real day-to-day life? Ever this like push and pull of you know hierarchies in society.

SPEAKER_01 29:58

I think I'm nodding to my uh kid who's after school. Um repeating again, sorry, she was waving goodbye, she had to leave.

SPEAKER_00 30:07

Oh, uh do you feel like a class system? Oh, the class system hierarchies.

SPEAKER_01 30:12

Oh, absolutely. They say that they we have banished the class system in in in our countries anyway, but really have we? I don't think so. Well, we don't call it the class systems anymore, but it's still there. Of course it's still there. I believe it's still there. Don't you? Or or do you see Yeah?

SPEAKER_00 30:28

I mean, I feel I don't feel like we're it's remember, these are romantic, and a lot of these romantic books are set in a time in like Victorian times, similarly, where there were no, you know, I think those things still exist. I think in the places that we live, they just show up differently and they tend to be a lot around money and access to resources. Like if you can pay for things and you have money, a lot more is available to you. Yes. I think in other societies and other countries, there is very much this still exists, but right now in our situations, in our worlds, it's money that's like the basis for a lot of this, right? And so I think it's really interesting. And overall, I think I learned a lot about myself through this book, and I I think our readers did too, when you sort of take a step back from the story and you really look at yourself.

SPEAKER_01 31:32

I I love I have to admit, I mean, I'm enjoying the book, and I would recommend, highly recommend, you know, if you're wanting to uh look into it, please do. I I enjoyed it and would be looking forward to the second one, which is not released yet. The part, the next one, I think that's coming out next year, is it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:52

Yeah, next year. So please consider joining us for our book club. We'll put the information in the show notes and consider reading along with us and joining us on one of our book retreats. We would love to see you there.

SPEAKER_01 32:10

Absolutely. Lots to come. Stay tuned.

SPEAKER_00 32:12

All right, we'll see you in the next one.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

Thanks for spending time with us today. We do hope you're feeling inspired, entertained, or at least had a moment to breathe.

SPEAKER_00 32:42

And if you did enjoy your time with us, do us a little favor, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening and let the world know what you love about the show.

SPEAKER_01 32:52

We'd really love to connect with you beyond the podcast. So you can find out uh all the details about staying in touch with us in the episode notes.

SPEAKER_00 33:00

And hey, if you're interested in working with us or you just want to chat, all the details are there as well. We'll see you next time.

SPEAKER_01 33:08

And remember, you are never too busy to take a pause.