The Emotionally Intelligent Leader: Mastering Contracts and Supplier Relationships

In this episode of SRM Focus, host Zuzanna Briant sits down with leadership and AI expert Volker Ballueder to explore how emotional intelligence transforms contract management and supplier relationships. Discover why trust is the foundation of every agreement, the essential EI skills for negotiations, and how to preserve human connection in an age of automation and AI. Packed with practical advice—from active listening to managing stress and building resilience—this conversation will help you lead with empathy, navigate conflict, and strengthen long-term partnerships. 

Transcript

Zuzanna Briant: 0:00

Welcome back to SRM Focus. I am Susanna Bryan, Director and Practice Lead at WorldCC. In today's episode, we are exploring the human side of contract and supplier management, emotional intelligence, or also known as EI. Welcome back. As technology, automation and AI reshapes how we work, it's easy to overlook the importance of human connection. But building trust, managing conflict and leading with empathy remain essential to successful contract and supplier relationships. Joining me is a leadership and AI expert, Volker, who has worked with organizations worldwide to help leaders master the balance between data and emotions. Volker, welcome. to the show. Thank you so much for joining us. I'm going to really crack on by asking you the first question. Why is emotional intelligence so important in contract and supplier relationship management, especially today in these days?

Volker Ballueder: 1:07

Thank you, Susanna, for having me. Emotional intelligence is important. When we look at contracts and supplier relationships today, contracts are usually built on trust, right? We often forget a contract is, yes, physically it's a piece of paper, digital paper, if you like, but it comes from human interaction. It's built on a trust between two people or a group of people. And trust is one of the key things that emotional intelligence can really strengthen right so whenever we look at you know if I say supplier relationships we're looking at people we're working with right any of these relationships need to be built on trust and they're built on people and people as we all should know anyway it's all about emotions right so I'm a big advocate for authentic leadership you know and people showing their emotions you know being vulnerable so you know and that's really why it's important and I would argue it's important across the workplace but even you know if I say or particular for contracting suppliers because you you know when you sign a contract it's such an important document for people to agree on and that really needs to be built on trust and you know you will always have different opinions as well if you like you know different emotions you know that can influence that contract as well.

Zuzanna Briant: 2:35

That is so powerful of course try is so important. Can you share a quick overview of the key emotional intelligence skills that every supplier relationship management or commercial contract management professional should develop? What should they be aware of? What should they be working towards?

Volker Ballueder: 2:54

Yeah, sure. So the model I use is the EQI model by Dr. Reuven Baon, who developed that alongside an EQ assessment. And he has five pillars which are not too dissimilar to the more popularised models from Daniel Goleman. But the EQI model looks at self-perception, self-expression, interpersonal emotions, decision-making and stress management. And each one of them have like three subcategories. So if you're looking at self-perception, it for instance has self-awareness in there. It has self-expression, it has assertiveness in there, interpersonal Emotions has empathy in there, and so on. So that actually, if you like 15 subcategories in there, so from a contractor and supplier relationship management, but what you need to look at, and again, it's very generalized, but self awareness is obviously always key, right? You need to know your own triggers, your own blind spots, empathy, and that's why I pointed out as well, right? Super important, right? Understand where the other person is coming from, a you when you start negotiating things self-regulation right as i said sometimes these contracts can be highly you know personal you know so don't don't send angry emails you know be be serious you know be professional you know know when you have to self-regulate um i i always like to use the example i used to have a colleague who threw um a fax machine through the office because he couldn't regulate his stress and his emotions right and his anger um So, you know, it's so important to have that under control, particularly if in a negotiation someone tries, you know, let's say to push your buttons, literally, right? Then active listening is another big one, right? Because often when we're trying to sell something, we're trying to listen in order to jump in and make a point. But active listening is really all about, you know, listening and, you know, listening for what's the as a person is saying you know and then also hearing what's not being said so read between the lines basically so I think those are the top four I would say others if I say below that would be influence right so I think influence and understanding how you influence others conflict management staying calm you know when others don't being adaptable so every supplier is obviously different right you you need to flex accordingly assertiveness being clear and respectful in your communication emotional resilience bouncing back from setbacks so if a contract doesn't work out right being able to pick yourself up again and of course relationship management right that is really the long game wins you know being able to build those relationships and build them as I said initially on trust

Zuzanna Briant: 6:05

these are so valuable skills and advice you're giving here let's zoom in negotiations for a moment you've mentioned one particular example the importance of emotional intelligence you know being aware of it during negotiations how does a strong emotional intelligence toolkit actually play out during supply discussion or when navigating in for example a tense contract dispute

Volker Ballueder: 6:31

so you mean in terms of if there's a conflict

Zuzanna Briant: 6:34

yeah how can emotional intelligence in negotiations outcomes and you know build that trust with suppliers

Volker Ballueder: 6:41

okay so so so so so I wasn't quite sure if you wanted to look more at the at the conflict mental conflict of building the trust with suppliers so because in terms of building the trust you know if I say before any deal starts right you need to build rapport right and that's that's again starting to build that relationship you know reading non-verbal cues in intense moments right keeping keeping egos in check right focusing on the goal and not being right you know not bringing your emotions to the negotiation table creating the safe space for problem solving so to get everyone literally around the table and get people to you know contribute and be part of anything you negotiate and an interesting one is and you know I mentioned that on the talk I gave recently right turning us versus them into we you know very early on and you know I always drift into neurolinguistic programming which you know I have a background in as well you know language plays such an important part when we negotiate with people but it's not no longer if I say us versus the other person or the other group it's now we you know we negotiate a contract here we negotiate an outcome encouraging fairness and transparency which again comes back to emotional intelligence. Reducing knee-jerk reactions, right, to offers or demands. So, you know, not being, if I say, too upfront for people to go like, you know, I don't like that, you know, or again, pushing buttons, you know, to not do that and to be actually nice to the opposite. And I personally think that goes a long way. So I think those are kind of like the key areas I would look at in terms of AI. But basically, if I say that the bottom line for me, and that's why I stress it every time, is trust, right? Because trust isn't just a buzzword, right? It's really earned through emotional clarity, right? And transparency. I mean, to a certain extent, right? You don't want to put all your cards on the table, but, you know, you're emotionally clear, you communicate clearly, you're listening to the other person, and you make sure you're, you know, you're moving if I say together as a we towards a new towards a common outcome a win-win situation

Zuzanna Briant: 9:17

Absolutely and you've mentioned trust you know it takes obviously time to build that element of trust in between parties but it's very quick to lose it as well with things going wrong obviously trust requires a lot of human interaction as well and with so much contract management becoming automated what are are some ways we can still preserve that vital human touch in how we work with suppliers and stakeholders. We've got the automation on the rise, you know, how do you maintain that human connection?

Volker Ballueder: 9:50

Sure. So be authentic, you know, be vulnerable. You know, Brittany Brown wrote a great book on vulnerabilities. I always recommend that. You know, start with a real conversation, not just emails, right? I know, thanks to COVID, a lot of our conversations are now, if I say online, they are on Zoom. But, you know, meet people in person. You know, if you want to get a contract done, you know, build that human connection. Personalize interactions, right? Don't hide behind systems. And that can be screens as well. Whilst you can always, if I say, do the legwork via screens. If it's a bigger deal, you need, I think you really need to meet these people. These people those people you're dealing with, you know, in person. And when you do, you get a different feel for them, right? You're better able to show empathy, right? Making space for human check-ins, right? It's, you know, it becomes a human you're dealing with, not like some metrics in terms of, you know, we figured out this KPI, this KPI, this KPI. It's really about, you know, to say, who are you as a human? You know, bring bring, if I say, yourself to work completely, right? Because you're a human being, you work, but you also have a family life, you know, you have hobbies. There's more to you than just, you know, what you bring to the negotiation table. So bring your whole self to work. And then, if I say, generally speaking, if we're looking at automation, right, design, if I say, automational processes in general with emotional impact in mind. So using tech videos really to enable and not replace relationship building. So what I mean by that, right? Screens is not a bad thing, right? Having meetings via Zoom because they enable relationship building, but don't replace it, right? Try to get this personal contact as well. And I think that's kind of like the key thing, right? Bottom line is treat the other person as human, right? Be empathetic, understand that person picks and you know if i say then use i say technology ai or whatever you know as an aid to move things forward

Zuzanna Briant: 12:17

Sometimes this is the smallest changes that makes the big difference. If someone wanted to show up with more emotional intelligence at work starting tomorrow, what's one small shift or perhaps a habit that you would recommend? What's one small action our listeners can take this week to boost their emotional intelligence at work?

Volker Ballueder: 12:39

Yeah, that's such a good question because there's so many things I could recommend. Let me start recommending active listening. Which means, because I do that when I run workshops, I always, you know, have that in as an exercise, really listening to someone, like really listening, not interrupting, not planning your response, just sitting back, listening, and then reflecting, you know, whether, you know, you're just reflecting in your head or go back to the person and say, what I'm hearing is X, Y, and Z. What I understand is what you're saying is, you know, whatever it is. And I think just that makes such a huge difference to you because you really start to understand the person and it makes the person, you know, feel more valued as well. So it really benefits both sides. Other things in terms of emotional intelligence, monitor your emotions, right? Understand when something pops up, right? Whether it's your inner critic, you know, or you wake up in the morning and something just feels a bit off, you know, check in with yourself and be like, what is that emotion? What am I feeling? And then understand what it means to you and why these emotions are coming up. So you could also do a gratitude journal. You can check in with a colleague and say, how are you really feeling? Not as typical, how are you doing today? Yeah, I'm just fine. How are you really feeling? How was your weekend? When I work with leaders, what I always like to suggest is having a five-minute check-in on a Monday morning with your direct reports and go, how are you doing? How was your weekend? Are you ready to work? Are you as a person ready to work? Can you leave the weekend behind? Did nothing happen? You didn't fall out with your partner or whatever. We have all the focus of yourself on the week. And do the same on a Friday at checkout and go hope you had a good week are you ready to enjoy the weekend are you ready to just leave work is there anything I can resolve for you so you can go off on the weekend and really enjoy yourself small things where you just show your emotions you show your authentic self and you know I think those go a long way

Zuzanna Briant: 15:05

that is such a powerful advice I absolutely love that advice you know checking in with people on Monday checking in on Friday as well like you have said small things but they do really matter Volker thank you so so much for your practical insights on how emotional intelligence can transfer contracts, negotiations, and of course, supply relationships. Listeners, remember, while technology is advancing fast, it's your ability to connect on a human level that sets great leaders apart. For more resources on emotional intelligence, contract management, and SRM, visit worldcc.com. And of course, join us next week for another focused discussion on us about seeing your SR practice until then keep leading with empathy and impact