Q+A: Signs of Burnout in Women Who Look “Fine”

You’re checking all the boxes. Getting everything done. Keeping it together for your family and your clients.

But under the surface? You’re snapping at tiny things. Struggling to sleep. Feeling flat, foggy, and fried.

In this Q&A episode of Ditch the Chaos, I’m answering a listener question about how to spot the signs of burnout in women who still look high-functioning on the outside—and how to start building an anti-burnout plan that works before you crash.

You’ll hear:

– How high functioning burnout hides in plain sight

– Subtle symptoms that signal deeper overwhelm

– Why burnout recovery for working moms starts with boundaries

– A realistic anti burnout plan made up of micro moves (not overhauls)

– How to reclaim your dopamine with unplugged time

– My go-to Friday weekly reset to prevent burnout before it builds

If you’re exhausted but still showing up, this one’s for you.

→ Start Chaos Detox and rebuild your time, energy, and focus from the inside out.

Burnout doesn’t have to be your baseline.

👉 Ask me anything → https://carachace.com/insider

Transcript

# (28) Q+A: Signs of Burnout in Women Who Look “Fine”

[00:00:00] Picture this, you're crossing off to-dos, showing up for everyone, making calls on the way to school, drop off, holding it all together, but inside your one paper cut away from losing it. Sound familiar? That's high functioning burnout, hiding in plain sight. In this episode, you'll learn how to spot the hidden signs of burnout in women who look fine on the outside and get practical anti burnout tools to reset before you crash.

[00:00:31] Welcome to Ditch the Chaos, a snackable podcast for ambitious women who are done with burnout, rigid routines, and productivity guilt. You'll get clear, actionable strategies to reclaim your time and energy without more hustle or endless to-do lists. I'm Cara Chace, entrepreneur since 2015. Mom of two wife to one, and I am unapologetically caffeinated.

[00:00:54] Let's dive in.

[00:00:56] This week I'm answering a subscriber question that I [00:01:00] knew I had to help with and share with you. She said, Cara, how do I know if I'm actually burned out or just tired or unmotivated? I get everything done. I'm showing up. But lately it feels like I'm holding it all together with duct tape. Is this burnout?

[00:01:18] How do I know if I'm in burnout? If everything looks fine on the outside? Okay, let's talk about it.

[00:01:25] First off, I wanna say what you're probably not hearing enough if you're asking this question, you're not lazy or less than. Burnout doesn't look like giving up for most high functioning type A woman. Burnout looks like over-functioning, showing up, getting it done, being the go-to person for everyone around you, holding it all together, barely.

[00:01:49] So let's answer her question. What are the signs of burnout in women who are still able to get things done? Here are some of the most common burnout symptoms in women who still appear to be [00:02:00] high functioning. Your brain is running too many tabs. You forget appointments or double book. You lose your train of thought mid-sentence.

[00:02:08] You reread the same email three times. You feel like your brain is moving through water and the brain fog is taking over. Resentment is your new background music. Every extra ask from a client or family member or friend feels like an ambush and turns on in an internal panic mode. Even if you say, sure, no problem, you're on autopilot, but emotionally checked out, you're smiling at the school drop off, but you feel totally blank inside.

[00:02:38] This is also called feeling flat or emotional burnout. Sleep escapes you. Even when it's quiet, you lie awake, replaying conversations, or worrying about tomorrow's to-do list. Tiny problems hit like a tidal wave. You find yourself furious over slow elevators or a [00:03:00] partner's innocent question when those things never bothered you before coping, crutches, creep in that third cup of coffee.

[00:03:09] That is my sign of choice. Glass of wine or endless bedtime scroll it's not just about enjoyment. You're trying to find relief. This is high functioning burnout, and it can be sneaky. You're doing all the things, but they're way harder and they cost more than they used to. It's not about motivation or discipline.

[00:03:30] It's your nervous system waving a red flag. And burnout. Recovery for working moms isn't about escaping your responsibilities. It's about rebuilding your capacity so you can show up without running on fumes all the time. But the problem is most burnout.

[00:03:46] Recovery plans assume you're already on the floor and checked out. But if you're high functioning, you don't have that luxury, you still have to show up, which is why you need an anti burnout plan that works before you [00:04:00] crash. So let's build a realistic burnout recovery plan, one small move at a time.

[00:04:05] These are steps you can take to slowly come back to yourself that let you practice better boundaries Default to white space. Literally block an hour or two this week with nothing scheduled, and do not fill it under any circumstances. That white space is a buffer against life's chaos and will help you be flexible as plans change instead of breaking under the pressure of an overcommitted calendar, trade perfection for capacity, let one non-essential task be done at 70%, not a hundred percent.

[00:04:41] Like replying to emails without rereading them three times, or using a grocery delivery service instead of dragging yourself through a full shopping trip after work. No one gives you a medal for max effort on every single task your nervous system doesn't need. Perfect. It needs space. [00:05:00] Question the invisible workload before saying yes to any ask or commitment.

[00:05:05] Pause and ask, is this mine to carry or am I defaulting to people pleasing practice, minimum viable rest. Maybe not a whole spa day, just three deep breaths in the car, or a two minute walk outside to get some fresh air, turning your phone off or leaving it in another room during lunch. And use a boundary script.

[00:05:30] Try. I've hit my capacity. Can I circle back next week or, I don't have the bandwidth for that right now, but thanks for thinking of me. These small actions will help you recover faster and become part of your future anti burnout plan. Learning better boundaries has to come before you can manage your time.

[00:05:49] Inside Chaos Detox, I give you a bunch of boundary scripts you can use the next time you feel backed into a corner over volunteering for the school event or agreeing to a coffee date. You can [00:06:00] check it out in the show notes. If you listen to the last episode. You know we talked about Unplugged time and why it matters.

[00:06:08] Here's why it helps your brain's reward system. Dopamine gets fried when you're constantly scrolling, reacting and checking. That constant drip of stimulation keeps your nervous system wired. Giving yourself true offscreen time, even just 15 minutes, gives your brain space to reset and rebalance. And another anchor I always come back to is the weekly reset.

[00:06:34] It's not some cute Sunday ritual with candles and tea and a fancy bullet journal layout. It's a nervous system strategy, a chance to clear decision fatigue and all those open loops pinging around in your head before you head into the weekend. I do this short reset every Friday to look ahead. Offload low priority stuff and plan real rest.

[00:06:56] The weekly reset is another tool you can have in your toolbox that I teach [00:07:00] inside Chaos Detox. So here's your reset and reclaim action step for the week. You've probably guessed it. I'm gonna tell you to pick one task or commitment this week and delete it. That might mean canceling or delegating.

[00:07:14] If you delete a task or a commitment this week, DM me with anti burnout, win on Instagram and tell me what you let go of so we can celebrate your small move together. Thanks for tuning in. Instead of endless PDFs and freebies to build my email list, I offer my subscribers open access to ask me any questions that I'll answer on the show.

[00:07:36] Like this one. Sign up for free at the link in the show notes, and maybe the next q and a episode will answer your question. For more resources, show notes in my Chaos detox course. Visit Cara Chace.com. Until next time, I'm Cara Chace reminding you to keep questioning the rules and making your own.