Is This the Life You Thought You’d Be Living?

Lately, I’ve been asking myself… is this the life I thought I would be living?

My life looks very different from what younger me imagined, but honestly, not in a bad way. I’m not chasing a lot of the goals I once thought I would, yet I’m still proud of how far I’ve come and excited for what’s ahead. Life has a funny way of taking us down unexpected paths, and sometimes those paths end up being exactly what we needed.

In this episode, we’re talking about expectations, change, and learning to appreciate the life we have while still dreaming about what’s next. If you’ve been reflecting on how different your life looks compared to what you once imagined, this conversation is for you.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hi there. I'm your host, Corinne, and this is Okay, but Are You Good? Where we check in ourselves on a weekly basis to see how we're doing. Are we living our best lives? Are we just trying to get by? I say I've been happy and positive. I love it when I'm on the up, hate it when I'm not, but that's life. So we're gonna keep riding this positivity train. And one thing that's come across my mind lately is this the life I thought I'd be living? And not in a bad negative way or regretful way, just to like, huh? Like it's crazy how I've gotten to where I'm at right now today to this day, right? And nothing's wrong. I mean, I'm sure there's something, there's always something going on, right? But things are just different. I've made certain choices that I love that have led me to where I'm at. It's just, you know, what if I went right instead of left or made friends with these people instead of those, stuck to what I studied in school instead of doing the complete opposite, you know, just like not a midlife crisis, but like a dang, like life has turned out so differently and so how I expected it. And like it's just kind of like mind, it's a little confusing and a little like I just like thinking, you know, just thoughts, whatever. I've just been replaying my past life. I've had people come and go, people that aren't with us anymore, people that are new in our lives. I just I just feel like people don't think or talk about this enough because we're so busy doing what we gotta do. And I've touched about this of like how I thought my life would work out by the time I was 30. But this is a little bit different than that. It's it's more about like your hopes and you and your dreams and goals you had as a kid, and then now the reality hits of like you're not doing what you went to school for, you're not talking to who you thought you'd be, you're not living where you thought you would be. And I totally mean this all in a positive light. I just think it's like fascinating of like how all the decisions we make lead us to where we're at today. And I picture life as a marathon. Yes, still talking about it. I will until I'm not, until the next hobby. But you know, life is like linear. You're for me, it's so focused. Sometimes it feels like the infinity sign, but you know, you're working towards making the right decision, hoping things are just gonna fall into place, and and everything works out with how you planned. And that's not how life works. I think when I was like 10 years old talking to my best friend Monica, I probably had all these hopes and dreams. I mean, in reality, we're just hanging out in her basement watching YouTube and playing uh spice girls. No, we're just playing totally spies on the computer. So, anyways, I've just been reflecting of like, wow, like all these small decisions, all these choices, opportunities, things out of my control. But, anyways, when I look at my life now, I think about how all these moving parts got me to where I'm at today. And it's a mix of small choices, timing, opportunities, things out of our control that were working towards shaping me down the path I'm I'm at. And it's just crazy. And like the best way of like, if I'd done certain things or made different choices, like I don't know if my life would still be where it's at today. Because every day, every year, month, whatever, all of it, we're working towards building our life. And I think lately I've been in like my feels about this a little bit because I had a really hard time. I had a like, I just think about where my life was just a year ago and where I'm at now. And I just never thought I'd get out of that dark bubble. And but I'm here and I've worked through what I've needed to work through, and I'm gonna keep work doing that. And I think too, like, I've just been missing certain people in my life that I don't talk to anymore. I've been missing studying psychology. Like, I really thought I was gonna be a therapist, but I didn't want to go to school for it, and I didn't think it was the right time. And, you know, I just miss helping people and like, but I know you can help people in other ways. And I feel like I do help people just not in the way I thought I'd be. I'm not saving lives out here, not helping people work through what they gotta work through as a therapist. And I think as well, I never thought like I'd be in LA right now. I I joke, but not really that like the lifelong goal is to live in New York, but I don't know how realistic that is, you know? And I think there's certain things you know, or at least for me, I've uh I've always known, like, okay, I will end up in LA, I will take care of the family that needs help. I just I feel like I feel like uh I've I've been feeling like I'm running out of time lately. I mean, originally my life goal was to be a veterinarian because I love animals so much, and then again, probably don't want to go to school for it. I guess that's where I lack of like motivation. I just I'm like the most productive but lazy person at the same time. It's the same with like so extroverted, but equally as introverted. I feel like they made up a new term for that, but I don't remember what it is. But certain decisions have led me to where I'm at. They where I went to school. I met my husband, I met all my best friends, I gotta experience life in a beautiful 7x7 city. I miss it so much, San Francisco. And, you know, but now I'm back in LA, I'm with my family at a time where I needed to be, and I feel like it is the right decision. I'm telling myself that, so I don't regret it. But I think like I've only been 30 for like a couple months, but I'm like, oh, like I'm hitting that point where ideally you have kids in the next certain amount of years, and I'm like, I'm not ready yet. I still have so much to do, I have so many places to travel. And I guess that really is my main priority right now, which makes me feel like, yeah, you're not ready, babe. But I'm like, if I just had like another 10 years before I got to the point where like it's not where I want to have kids. And my cousin, who's pregnant and she's like mid-30s, she's like regretting that she didn't start having kids earlier, or she just wished maybe not regret is the right word, she just wished she had kids earlier. So I think that's why I'm like, oh my gosh, like if I made different decisions, like maybe I would have had kids earlier. But again, my husband and I are going down the path that works for us, and this is what we've wanted. And we always we joke about like, okay, like we'll just have to like work on our kids and have them be efficient travelers, but that's easier said than done, I imagine. So I think that's why I've been like kind of my feels because I'm young, but I feel so old and I feel like I'm running out of time. And yes, there's worse things. I know you don't gotta remind me, but I just feel like it's crazy that I'm where I'm at in my life, and it's the only like it's not where I thought it would be, but like I I feel like half of it is not where I thought it'd be. I knew I'd be married to my man's and live where I'm living. Did I think I was gonna have three cats? No, I thought I would have like 500 dogs, but I'm obsessed with my cat, so it's it's good. Like, and I, you know, I also thought I'd be seeing my friends all the time, and I'm not. And it's it's just like life has really hit me lately, but not in like a good way of like, okay, you gotta learn and adapt and work through the hard things because this is my life. This is uh the decisions I've made, the places I've gone, the people I've chosen to keep in my life and me, and everything has let has led me to where I'm at right now. And I'm proud of that. I'm proud I graduated from school. I'm proud of my where my career is at. And I'm proud of just I know that I'm a good person, you know? And I'm really looking forward to the upcoming years. It's very uncertain of like which direction I'm gonna go in. I just know right now, like my focus is myself and working on my mental health and traveling. I have a lot of really exciting upcoming trips, and I get to see my best friends from college at the end of the month. So I like can't wait just to like be back with our people. And you know, you could listen to this episode or and just think like, okay, like, yeah, maybe my life isn't what I thought it would be, but that's not a negative thing. I think it's it's just taking a step back and understanding like this version of your life of like all your accomplishments and decisions that have made you that have gotten you to where you're at today. And like with that, I've been thinking, like, okay, what has my path actually given me? What have you learned? Who have you become? Is are you living the best version of yourself, or do you have things you gotta work on? And what are you gonna work towards in the next five, 10 years? I kind of don't love that question because we never know what's gonna happen tomorrow in a year, five, 10 years from now. But, you know, maybe set some goals for yourself. It was so easy, I feel like when you're growing up, you're gonna go get a job, go to school, do whatever worked for you. But now we're getting older, so those goals change. So, like for me, I'm like, am I gonna keep traveling or I'm gonna raise a family? Am I gonna keep going further in my career? Am I gonna do nothing? Those are the questions that keep me up at night. So if your life isn't looking like how you imagined, or if it is, remember you're not behind, you're on track, things come and go as they need to, decisions are made, or they're not. Just know everything's a work in progress, and you are in charge of your life and the decisions you're gonna make because we can only control what? Ourselves, yeah, buddy. Anyways, thank you so much for listening in. I'll catch you all next week. Don't forget to ask yourself, okay, but are you good? And make sure to like and subscribe. Bye, y'all.