She Ignites
This is where power gets raw, healing gets hot, and rebellion becomes ritual. Hosted by Kari Lowe, She Ignites is your weekly dose of fire-starter truth, bold stories, and permission to break every rule that kept you small.
Light the damn match.
It’s time to burn, not behave.
She Ignites
Boundaries That Glow
Have you ever said yes when your entire body was screaming no? That seemingly small moment of self-betrayal is exactly where our transformation begins.
In this deeply personal and practical episode, we dive into the journey from being a perpetual people-pleaser to becoming what I call a "Boundary Badass." I share the Saturday afternoon that broke me - when a quick favor for a friend turned into three hours of life-draining work while I smiled through gritted teeth, only to drive home drowning in resentment. That day changed everything.
We explore why "nice girl programming" runs so deep, starting with childhood lessons about sharing toys we weren't done playing with and smiling through discomfort. The truth is stark: harmony purchased through self-abandonment isn't harmony at all—it's a hostage situation where you're both the captive and the one paying the ransom.
The heart of this episode is my three-step boundary blueprint that has transformed thousands of women's lives: know your limits by identifying your consistent energy drains, state them simply without apologies or explanations, and hold the line when faced with inevitable pushback. I also share my seven-day Boundary Badass training plan with daily actionable steps to build your boundary-setting muscles.
Your body already knows when a boundary is being crossed—that chest-tightening, stomach-dropping feeling isn't anxiety; it's wisdom. Learn to read these physical cues and respond from your truth rather than your conditioning.
Ready to stop performing niceness and start living freely? Listen now, and take the challenge to say one guilt-free no this week. Remember to subscribe, leave a review, and tag me to share your boundary wins. The world doesn't need a quieter version of you—it needs the bold, blazing, fully expressed you that emerges when you protect your peace.
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Post-production editing by SoulFlow Studios - https://soulflowstudios.com/
Welcome to Sheet Ignited, the podcast where we burn the rule book, digit the goods, and light up the lives we were meant to lead. I'm your host, Carrie Lowe, candlemaker, confidence dealer, and your favorite fire starter. Around here, we speak boldly, dream mildly, and show up messy and magical. If you're done playing small and ready to own your own bar, you're in the right damn place. Now let's get lit. Welcome back, Firestarters. As a reminder, this is a space where women stop folding themselves into neat, quiet shapes and start taking up their rightful, glorious room. Today we're going to talk about From Nice Girl to Boundary Badass, the messy, liberating graduation from being agreeable at all costs to being unapologetically self-protective. This isn't about becoming cold or selfish. This is about reclaiming the steering wheel from every person, system, or expectation that ever taught you your comfort was optional. By the end of this episode, you'll have the blueprint for setting boundaries that don't just stick, they fucking glow. So I want to share a story with you about the yes that broke me. It was a Saturday, and I received a phone call, and I said yes to a friend when every nerve in my body was screaming no. They had asked me to help them with a quick favor, which quickly turned into three hours of work, rearranging my own plans and ending the day bitter and exhausted. The worst part, I smiled through it. Why? Because that's what a good friend does. On my drive home, I realized something. I wasn't being nice. I was being dishonest, not just with them, but with myself. And my resentment? That was the interest payment on a debt I didn't even owe. That was the day I made myself a promise. No more yes by default. So let's talk about why nice girl programming runs so deep. The nice girl training starts really early. Share your toys even if you don't want to. Smile even when you're uncomfortable. Don't make waves, be agreeable, make sure everyone likes you. It's not just manners, it's conditioning. The world teaches girls that harmony is survival and that a no is a risk. The problem? Harmony bought with self-abandonment isn't real harmony. It's a hostage situation, and the hostage? It's you. So today we are going to be defining the boundary badass. Being a boundary badass isn't about confrontation for sport. It is about living in alignment. A boundary badass, she knows her limits and she honors them. She communicates clearly without essays or apologies. She doesn't negotiate her self-respect, and she understands that saying no to one thing is saying yes to something even better. So we're going to look at a three-step boundary blueprint. Step number one is to know your limits. You can't defend what you can't define. So ask yourself these questions. What drains me instantly? What feels like a violation of my time, energy, or values? And where do I always feel resentment after saying yes? Write these answers down, and this becomes your boundary map. Step number two, state them simply. Boundaries are not monologues, they're headlines. So let me give you a few examples. I am not available for that. I don't lend money. I need a week's notice for events. No filler, no disclaimers, and definitely no fucking apologies. Step number three, hold the line. Expect pushback. People who benefited from your yeses in the past will not celebrate your no. That's not a sign that you're wrong. It's proof you're doing it right. So when someone pushes, stay neutral. That still doesn't work for me. Don't justify. The longer you talk, the more loopholes you create. And repeat if needed. Broken record beats broken boundaries any day of the week. So let's talk about the fear factor around this. Why does it feel so scary? Because boundaries risk rejection. And rejection pokes at our primal need to belong. Here's the reframe. The people who truly belong in your life will respect the boundaries you set. If someone leaves you because you stopped overextending yourself, they weren't your people. They were your consumers. So let's start a boundary body check ritual. Next time you're asked for something, pause before you answer. Feel it in your body. Does your chest tighten? Does your stomach sink? Does your jaw clench? Do your shoulders lift and tighten? If yes, that's your body screaming, do not agree. Answer from the body, not the guilt script in your brain. If you need a buffer, say I'll get back to you, or let me check my schedule. This buys you space to answer honestly instead of reflexively. Now we are going to talk about a boundary badass training plan. So this is a seven-day plan that I want you to commit to doing right now. If you're driving, obviously don't write these down. But if you're not, grab a pen and a piece of paper. If you're driving, come back later and write these down. On day one, I want you to identify your top three energy leaks. On day two, write one simple sentence for each leak that states the boundary you are setting. On day three, practice saying it out loud, looking in the mirror. I know this sounds crazy, but trust me. Day four, enforce one boundary with zero explanation. On day five, journal the outcome, especially the part where the world around you didn't end. On day six, celebrate a win with something that feels luxurious to you. Share your proudest no with a friend who gets it. And if you don't have someone that would get it, message me your proudest no because I want to hype you up. So here's the truth. The real you isn't polite at the expense of your peace. She's kind and clear. She's warm and firm. She knows that no is a complete sentence and that her energy is currency. So this week, your challenge is to say one guilt-free no and let it stand. Period. The end. Don't fill the silence. Don't apologize. Just let your yeses and your no's match your truth. This is She Ignites, and I'll see you next week where we stop performing nice and start living free, and you become the boundary badass I know you're meant to be. Well, that's it for today, babe. But your fire is just getting started. If you're feeling lit up, go ahead and hit subscribe, leave a spicy little review, and tag me at GIGnight CandleCo. So I can hype you up. Remember, the world doesn't need a quieter version of you. It needs the bold, blazing, fully expressed you. Until next time, keep glowy, keep golden, and never ever did your damn light.