She Ignites

Asking For Help Is Power, Not Shame! Guest Episode!!

• Kari

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What if the bravest thing you do this week is ask for help and mean it? We sit down with Gabby Remaly, host of the Blissfully Bold podcast, to dismantle the “do it all” myth and rebuild your days around boundaries, values, and real self-trust. From 60-hour weeks and new motherhood to a values-first job search, Gabby shares how she stopped proving and started choosing, and why that shift opened more space, clarity, and courage than any productivity hack.

We walk through her micro-journaling method, release, reflect, realign and show how it turns emotional noise into practical next steps you can take tomorrow. You’ll hear how to spot patterns in your stress, translate them into better boundaries, and use a planner-journal workflow to make change stick. We also challenge the loud expert advice about niching and mass job applications, replacing it with a simple question: does this path align with your life, your nervous system, and your definition of success?

Along the way, we trade hype songs and book fuel, and get honest about the most liberating no: fewer hours, a season of intentional pause, or saying no to roles that cost your peace. If you’ve felt invisible in rooms that demand you shrink to fit, this conversation gives you language and tools to stand tall, ask for what you need, and follow your intuition before the outside noise moves in.

Subscribe for more bold, values-driven conversations, share this with a friend who’s ready to draw a new line, and leave a review to tell us the one boundary you’re claiming next. Your voice is the spark!! Let’s keep it lit.

To connect with Gavie: 

https://www.instagram.com/gavie.remaly/

https://www.instagram.com/blissfullyboldpodcast/

To get her planner:

https://subscribepage.io/lfCgf0?

We talked about this book:

https://a.co/d/coaij5m

www.sheignitescandleco.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sheignitescandleco/

Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekarilowe

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/1MLVk3uvJp/

email: kari@girluncovered.com

Post-production editing by SoulFlow Studios - https://soulflowstudios.com/

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to She Ignite, the podcast where we burn the rule book, ditch the shoulds, and light up the lives we were meant to lead. I'm your host, Carrie Lowe, candlemaker, confidence dealer, and your favorite fire starter. Around here, we speak boldly, dream wildly, and show up messy and magical. If you're done playing small and ready to own your own spark, you're in the right damn place. Now let's get lit. Okay, so thank you so much for joining me today for a new episode of She Ignites with the amazing Gaffi Remele. Okay, so I want to start out by introducing you and telling all my listeners, my fire starters is what I call them. Oh, I love that. How wonderful you are, and I love your content. So Gabby is the creator and host of the Blissfully Bolt podcast, where she helps women break free from the pressure to do it all, rediscover their voice, and build lives that actually feel good on the inside. After hitting her own breaking point in 2020, Gabby discovered that boundaries aren't about saying no to others, they're about saying yes to yourself. Through her signature microjournal method, released, reflect, realign, she guides women to reconnect with their inner voice, find clarity, and create lives rooted in self-trust and courage. Her work blends self-awareness, storytelling, and practical tools that empower women to stop shrinking and start standing boldly in who they are. So I absolutely love that. And my fire starters are going to know 100% that this conversation is going to be perfectly aligned with She of Nights. And so I'm very excited to have this conversation. If you hear my dog barking in the background, I apologize. Um just he likes to talk too.

SPEAKER_01:

He wants to talk about the conversation.

SPEAKER_00:

So my first question for you today is what is one rule that you were taught as a woman that you've gleefully broken? And how did it change things for you in your life? So, what is one rule that you were taught as a woman that you have broken?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Um, so firstly, thank you for having me on today. I'm super excited to be here and to talk to your audience. And as far as rules go, I'm I've kind of always been like a rule bender.

unknown:

I love that.

SPEAKER_01:

Like, and not necessarily a rule breaker because sometimes I'm still like, uh, I don't know. Like, you know, I question myself, which I think a lot of people do. Um I think that people have that inner voice, like that inner voice of other people, like, you know, in them. It's like, should I do this? Should I do that? And there's a lot of doubt. And as a woman in particular, I think that the idea that we have to plan and juggle all the things without asking for help.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Just because like that's something that's been modeled to us, for one. Like, no one ever told you really, you have to do it all. You can't ask for help. But it's like, this is the way that we've seen the world work. Like we've seen, you know, our parents or our mothers or our grandmothers, and like always going and nurturing and taking care of. And of course, you know, women as mothers, like they're going to be nurturing. But it's also, I've noticed that they shoulder a lot of that pressure and a lot of that responsibility on themselves without thinking or saying, like, hey, I need help from, you know, particularly a man.

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

Like, because, you know, society has always said a man's job is something else, like, you know, take care of the household or provide for your family, or to do things that are more manly in a way, like of being more courageous. And, you know, women should be a little more humble, at least in the environment that I was raised in. I was raised Catholic. I wasn't like, like my family wasn't super religious, but they were religious enough where they went to church like every Sunday and stuff. And like that's just the ideas I think that people had of especially within the church, I think that that's something that's pushed a lot too. Right. But yeah, I would say that there isn't shame in asking for help. That's something I've actually had to, I think, kind of get over instead of thinking like I can do it all myself because I know that I'm capable. And it's like, yeah, no one's questioning your capability. You just have to take care of your sanity.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. Absolutely. Yes. I love that. That is a big issue for women, I think. And I even notice, you know, sometimes on social media where the women are the ones that are criticizing the most other women for asking for help when they know deep down that they would love to have help as well. And it's like this pressure to to perform at a hundred percent all the time. And so I love that answer. And you know, there is no shame for asking for help, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, so what is the boldest, most rebellious choice you've made in your life and how did it light you up?

SPEAKER_01:

Man, boldest, most rebellious choice. I would say probably being intentional and taking charge of the things that I was looking for or dealing with within a work environment. Because I know that a lot of people struggle with pushing back against their workforce, like their whether it's their boss, their manager, whatever. It's like there's this fear of like, oh no, I can't say something, I'm gonna get fired, or that's my job. I'm supposed to do that. But it's like you're taking away the choice that you have to do those things.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

And that's kind of where my journey started in 2020. I was a new mom. I say new, like two years in, a year and a half in, but still like that's pretty new. Yes. Like you're still trying to figure stuff out, you know? And at that time, I was working a lot of hours. I was anywhere between 50 to 60 hours working, most of the time leaning more towards the 60. And it was just a big struggle for me because you know, I was a parent and I didn't know how to balance it. And also, like that was just kind of the culture. Everyone was working those hours. And so I thought, who am I to ask for less? For less hours, like for what basically, who am I to ask for what I need? Like, but I didn't think of it that way. Like it is something that I needed. I needed less hours because of this, you know, because I'm I'm a parent. And I was scared to ask for it. And then finally, I started working with a happiness coach. And she is really the one who taught me to, I guess, really assess my needs. And in working with her, I found that boundaries feels like it's the key to like taking care of you, even though that's not what she taught. That's kind of what I got out of it. And so I would say like the bravest rule-breaking thing is like I kind of pushed back against what that, I guess, collective schedule was and like, hey, this is what I need. And eventually I got moved to a different department. And then after that, it's I feel like it's just kind of snowballed. Even now, like I took a year off from when I got laid off in June of 2024, so June last year. And then I took a year off to do my podcast and to kind of figure out where I was in my entrepreneurial journey. Um, it sounds like it's an easy thing. It's like, oh, you know, just follow this celepreneur and do the steps. Like they've laid it all out for you. And it's like, but I still don't quite know what it is that I'm offering. Yeah. And like you take all those steps and you're trying to figure out who you are. And like that was another kind of rule-breaking thing. It's like I wasn't following their rules, and so I wasn't really getting where I wanted to be. And yeah, when I got back into the workforce, July is when I started a new position, but during that time of looking for a new position, I was very intentional and picky about where I was going to apply. I don't know if you know this, but the job market right now is kind of scary for a lot of people.

SPEAKER_00:

It's bad. Yeah. So that's what I do in my day job is I help people find work. And so yes, it is, it's very difficult. Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

So you often hear stories of all these people, like, oh, I've applied to a hundred jobs, or 300 jobs, and like I've had no interviews, and I've had, like, you know, it's just this like really scary outlook. And a lot of people have the same story. And I guess maybe that's another thing of where I broke the rules. I'm like, I'm not applying to a hundred jobs. So I'm not gonna do that. Like, that's just it feels like kind of a waste of time to go and apply for something that I don't think that I'd be happy in and that I don't really value what they value. So I took a really intentional look at what it was that I wanted within a position. And I basically made it values aligned. Like, do they do we have like the same outlook on how employees should be treated? Do we have the same goal of what we want to work towards as far as like what they actually do within the company? Right. To like, do do we align on all the different things that you know I value? And I think I applied to, I did like a six-week, I guess, experiment.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Of like, I'm only going to apply to things that mark off, like check off my list. It has to be this, it has to be X, it has to be Y, it has to be Z. For me in particular, like I had to have an organization that was going to be flexible because I'm a parent, you know? And I had to have an organization that actually valued its culture and not just say that it valued its culture, but actually like, you know, walk the walk. And this is one thing that I was like, it has to be this. And it ended up not being this, but it still was like a great fit. It's like it has to be remote. And I found this position and it's not remote, it's in an office, but it's literally on the same street as my son's daycare.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, perfect.

SPEAKER_01:

And I'm like, I'm already driving to the daycare. Right. Because my problem was like I didn't want to commute. And so like I took all of this alignment list that I made, and I only applied, I think it was to 10 jobs within that six weeks, which sounds freaking crazy to people.

SPEAKER_00:

It does. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And I was like really intentional about going and doing the application process, like making sure that we aligned on all the things, um, and reaching out to people. And in that way, I kind of felt like I did break a little bit of the typical like rules that you think about when you're in the job market and you're looking. It's like you're not doing enough, which I think a lot of people have that voice inside their head of you're not doing enough. You're not good enough. And it kind of just goes from there and snowballs into this weight on your person of your worth. So I think that probably, I guess to go back to your question, like a big roundabout answer to this question is the thing, I guess, that broke the rules is like, I actually I am worth it. I am worth it. I think that might probably sound a little silly to a lot of people who are like, I know I'm worth it. But it's like, do you actually think that though?

SPEAKER_00:

Because you actually live that, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Like you can say all day long that you're worth it and you're you're worthy of accepting or worthy of like finding these desires that you want, like this job or this uh company that you're trying to build or this podcast that you're building. And it's like, yeah, I'm worthy of it. But it's like, are your actions saying that you're worthy of it? Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

I love this answer because I have found, you know, as entrepreneurs, we, as we have met through different business coaching programs. Yeah, it seems like they coaches, while I believe they're extremely talented and I have gained so much information from them that has helped me in my business. There are so many things that are told to us, you have to do this. You have to niche your market down to this is the age group of the women that you want to speak to, or this this is the place that they shop, or you have to have your purpose, you have to be aligned with your why every step of the way. And I have always felt a little invisible in those rooms because I don't believe that. And I mean, I think that you obviously have to have a basis, but I think that I've been a little rebellious in ways that I have, I haven't put my people in that box, you know, because I think I speak to the woman that was who I am several years ago as I started this journey myself, but I don't care if they're 30 or I don't care if they're 60, right? So I agree with you in in that regard. And then as well as the the employment, the job search, finding people on LinkedIn or whatever, like you have to do this, this, this, and this to find a job. And yeah, but all of these people that are saying that are still out of work a year later. So is that working? You know, we need to look at different ways to explore things. And so I love that you're doing that for yourself and aligning with your inner needs in order to make that happen. So this is a fun question, you know. And with She Ignites, we talk about fire a lot. And so I would love to know your personal definition of igniting your power that no one can take from you.

SPEAKER_01:

I would say that knowing who you are at a core level is the fire that no one can steal. Like if you know who you are, what you stand for, what your values are, what your voice is telling you, and not the voices of other people around you or social media, like no one can take that from you because you know at a soul level like what you stand for and who you are.

SPEAKER_00:

I love that. Now I want to follow up on that. So, you know, you have a young child, correct? I have all adult children and grandchildren. So I'm at, you know, a further step in a certain path than someone that has young children. Because my mission to find out who I was started as I became an empty nester because I lost it, because I fell into the I need to do for everyone but me, right? And so my question to you if if you can can share what are ways for a woman to figure out who she is of the core if she doesn't know.

SPEAKER_01:

Absolutely. So going back to, you know, talking about motherhood, you said that you found like started to find out who you were when you became an empty nester. And I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's probably because as a mother, you know, you felt like I'm their mother and that's who I am, right? And while yes, like you being a mother is part of it, it's not all of who you are. I would say that for me to like find out like who I am at my core, it's like motherhood does play a part in it because when you become a mother, you kind of lose yourself in the role of being a mom.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

And it's like, who am I when I'm not being a parent or when I'm not being someone's wife? Like, who am I just for myself? And I love that you've asked, like, how can you find that, like, find that person again? And for me, it's always been in journaling, not always, but a big chunk of it. I've journaled, like, I've dabbled in journaling since I was a teen, but I've gotten like really, I guess, more serious in journaling since 2020 when I started, you know, learning all this about myself. And I love journaling so much that I actually created my own like journal. It's a planner journal because I'm a planner girly. Okay. I love planning. Um, and I needed a journal that I could like have with me. Like, I didn't want five spirals. Yeah. It can, it can load up a lot. So I created something called the Daily Planner and Journal, which is just a really simple name. But the purpose of it is to release, reflect, and then realign. So basically the release is like I did this back in 2020 when I was working with my happiness coach. You know, she would say, like, oh, just journal something. But I would keep like a notebook at my desk that I already was using for work. Like basically it was my work spiral where I would not, but I would also like write journal notes for myself of what was making me angry. Because back at that time, like I was pretty bitter. I was, I was really bitter, actually. So every time we got an email about something I didn't like, or every time someone came to my desk and like gave me something and I didn't like, I would write it down like they're pissing me off. Right. Right. And eventually you go back and you read those, which is the reflect part. So the release part was like they're pissing me off, right?

SPEAKER_02:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

The reflect part is going back and reading those things and like kind of trying to figure out the pattern of not even trying to figure out the pattern, just reading it. You'll be able to see it. Like what's making you angry? And those are usually things that need to change. Those are need things that need to change in your life to make you happy again and to find yourself again. And that's the realign part. So for me, like journaling has been so helpful in finding out like what I like, what I don't like, what's making me upset, where I need to change, and just what it is that I'm truly thinking on the inside. Because your voice on the inside is like who you are. Even though sometimes you have what does therapy call it? Like uh distorted thoughts.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01:

So you can have those distorted thoughts, right? But when you go back and you reread them at a time when you're not feeling emotionally charged, you'll see like, oh, I was just really angry. I was just really sad about this incident. And that's not actually how you like think about it outside of that moment.

SPEAKER_00:

Right, right. That is so powerful. And I love this because I'm a journaler as well. And I know a lot of women that you know I have discussions with about journaling. They're like, but you know, I like the idea of it, but I don't know what to write about. And so I always just I have a blind date with a journal is one of my products. And then I have journal prompts that I share in it. And so I share prompts with people, but I also talk a lot about brain dumps, you know, just like whatever's on your mind, dump it. Like write a letter yourself, whatever it is, bitch about the person that's making you angry, whatever. And never thought about the way you do it. And that to me is like this light bulb came on that, like, whether it's family or work or relationships, friendships, whatever, to write those things down that upset you or feel that they're not aligned with you, that can help you completely see what boundaries you need and help you. Ridge your life with the people or things around you that don't fit into you know what you need to thrive. And I absolutely love that. So I'm so glad that you shared that.

SPEAKER_01:

You're so welcome. And I love that it's not someone else's voice telling you of what should it's yourself telling you like what you're not happy with. How what are you gonna do about it? Are you gonna keep like just releasing it and like writing about about those things? Or like are you gonna pick a scary stance? Yeah, because sometimes a change is scary. I think that's pretty wide across the board there. People are scared to change, and that's why they don't. That's why they kind of stay in those uncomfortable scenarios.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. Uncomfortable comfort. Yeah. Because it's like it's safe. But so, like one of the things that I say a lot is, you know, as women, we need to find out who we were before the world told us who to be. Yeah, and so like this is a perfect way to even figure out the type of management style you want to work for. If you know someone sends you emails, like you said, or brings stuff to your desk is like that's a perfect way if you're on a job search to figure out the type of questions you need to ask about the lecture when you're interviewing, um, or how to interview new friends, you know. Right. That's amazing. I love that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. So I think that the journaling in that way also, so you already written down the things that bother you, right? And so you'll know, like going forward, I didn't like this in this. We'll take the work as uh an example here. Like I didn't like this in my last position. Let's change that. And that's actually like since you're already looking for work, it's not that much of a risk.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely, absolutely. Ask for and be, you know, be committed to what it is that you need to to to thrive and be happy in your you know, your daily work environment. Yeah, because if you come home and you're stressed and you're upset, then that bleeds over into your family life, and that's not who we want to be for our kids, grandkids, spouses, you know, whoever it is.

SPEAKER_01:

It's 100.

SPEAKER_00:

Or even ourselves if we're single, right? So that is that is exciting. So I can't wait to hear a little bit more about the journaling that that you do. So I want to know if you can share with us what is the most liberating no you have ever said.

SPEAKER_01:

Hmm, the most liberating no. I'm gonna go back to 2020. Like I really that really was like the catalyst, I would say, for me being able to find my voice and be able to know that taking a stance for myself wasn't going to end in like catastrophe. Right. Like it was just we were talking about, you know, that's change is scary. And for me at that like moment, asking for less time, asking to be treated differently than my peers, that was really terrifying for me. And to tell them, no, I'm not going to work as much as you want me to work. Like that was that was really scary.

SPEAKER_00:

Um that fear of retaliation can make you small, right? And you you fear standing up for yourself because we've always been told you go, you go with the flow, you do what people tell you to. Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

And then I would say that a second no that I that I did that was really scary was actually I mentioned that I took a year off from when I was laid off to like looking for work again because I wanted to get on my podcast and try to build this, uh try to find really what I was wanting to offer people because I knew that I could was saying no to my husband, I guess, about looking for work again. Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, because that can cause turmoil at home.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. It was, it was very hard for me. Like we had lots of conversations where he wasn't very happy that I was not wanting to get back into the workforce. And like, of course, you know, he felt that financial like burden on his shoulder. I was also very aware of, so aware that I feel that that situation made me so much better with financial planning and budgeting, and like being like, we can do this. We can um even though like he was terrified that you know we were gonna lose our house. Right, right. Legit fear if you're not getting income in, right? You know, but I would say that that probably was also a liberating no in that I was able to take that time not just to build something that I wanted to, but also to I guess turn within and find out more about who I was. Like we always hear as an entrepreneur that it's not about building the business, it's about finding out who you are. Yes. Like in the process, it's basically a growth journey. And it's absolutely true.

SPEAKER_00:

That is for sure. Well, I want to um wrap up my question so that we can give um you time to share about your business and anything you want to tell my listeners. So I have a question that I ask all of my guests, and that question is if you could light a fire in every woman listening today, what would you want that fire to say?

SPEAKER_01:

I would say to listen to your inner voice more often than you tell it to be quiet.

SPEAKER_02:

That's good.

SPEAKER_01:

Because I think that often we like, yes, some of those inner voices are doubt or fear. But if you like really listen and you kind of like, okay, get curious about what is the fear telling me or what is the doubt telling me, and why do I feel that way? Start questioning your inner dialogue and then also be able to listen to what are the instantaneous things that kind of come up for you, because usually that's your intuition talking. Yes, right? And then you push it aside, that fear and that doubt are like, no, that can't happen. And I feel that we also just listen to the outside voices more, especially like another example of being an entrepreneur. You know, we said we signed up for all of these various coaching programs and things, right? So of course you're hearing them like tell you all the advice that you paid for. Yes, yes. A lot of money.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. And so you're you you paid for them to tell you this advice. And at the same time, it's like, what is my like, even though of course they're giving, you know, good advice most of the time. Is it something that aligns with what I actually want to do? Like you were talking earlier about niching down, right? And that just isn't something that really resonates with you. That's an example of listening to the outside voice more than what your inner voice is telling you of like, I don't have to do that. Like, I don't feel like that's a like a good pathway for what I want to build. So then you start to doubt yourself of, oh, well, I'm doing it wrong because I'm not doing it the way that they're telling me to do it. And this is why it's not working, when really it's not working sometimes because you're not actually listening to what it is that you want.

SPEAKER_00:

So there's that kind of yes, yes, I love that. Okay, so I'm gonna ask you one more quick fun question. This is what I'm starting to add in. So, do you have an inner hype song or an anthem that you turn on when you need to channel your fiercest self?

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, so I don't actually have a song really okay. I guess I have two answers back then in 2020. My inner fearless fight song was do you remember that song Brave by Sarah Gralis or something like that?

SPEAKER_02:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

And I feel so silly because I'm like, that is the cheesiest. But that's you know, it is. I mean, the lyrics are pretty good, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I guess to me it felt cheesy because I'm like, I I I guess in the way that I was using it, I was playing it on repeat before I went into that manager's meeting because I was scared and like it felt cheesy, you know, but it it it it helped me find that inner fire to be brave enough to have that conversation, even though I was afraid of what the outcome would be. Yes. So there's that that was back then. Now I I've I've I've found that when I'm feeling like I have doubt, or I'm feeling that hopelessness, or feeling like I'm in that weird liminal space of like being stuck or just not knowing what to do with myself. I turn to have you ever read that book Wild by Cheryl Strade?

SPEAKER_00:

No, I haven't.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh my gosh, it's so good. So I I have the audiobook on Audible. So I listen to that. I've listened to it at least three or four times, probably maybe a little bit more, but I find that I'm always listening to it when I'm feeling like I don't know what to do. Or like I'm just feeling stuck. And it it it kind of gives me inspiration. So just like a quick, I guess, overview of the book. Cheryl is, I think she was like 24 or something. Her mom died of cancer uh at that when she was 22, 24. Her mom was only like 40 something, which was pretty young. Um and so she was really close with her mother. And after her mom passed, she just kind of went on this downward spiral of like self-destruction. Like she um was becoming promiscuous and like into drugs and all that, and then finally she and and she like divorced her high school sweetheart because she was like infidelity and just I need to find myself again. And so she decided to walk a part of the Pacific Crest Trail, which is a trail that runs from Mexico all the way up to Canada. Oh, wow. So she walked, I think, a portion in California all the way up to Washington. Um, and so during you know, her journey, she's thinking about like her mom and her choices and just and also the physical like harshness of the trail, right? And her being scared, and it's just a really inspiring book. And it's also a movie for the people who aren't readers, okay.

SPEAKER_00:

And and Reese Witherspoon is Cheryl, so I have seen the previews for that, yes. Okay, so I need to listen to the book and then watch the movie. So that's yeah, I love that. I'm a huge reader, so I love that you shared a book for that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, instead of a song, why shared a song too?

SPEAKER_00:

So you did both. Okay, so I want to give you an opportunity to share whatever it is that you would like with my fire starters. If you have offers or anything of that nature, just share away any way that they can connect with you, work with you with journaling, whatever it is that you have to offer.

SPEAKER_01:

Awesome. Yeah. So uh you can first go listen to my podcast. It's the Blissfully Bold podcast. Currently, I'm taking a break, but there are 40-something episodes that you can go and listen to.

SPEAKER_00:

I will link that for everyone.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, definitely go and listen to that. If you've liked this conversation, then there are plenty of other conversations that I've had with other guests and even solo episodes where I'm talking about finding your inner voice and being able to really take the brave actions, even though they're uncomfortable. And then finding that belonging also, because I think that's part of being able to find your voice is knowing that you belong somewhere. Because when you feel like you're out of place, then it's hard to be able to listen to yourself because you feel different. Yes, yeah, than everyone else around you. But yeah, so go and listen to the podcast. And then I'm gonna go back to what we were talking about earlier with the journaling, the planner and journal, the daily planner and journal. So, like I said, I'm a planner girly. Um, so I had to have my journal in the same place that I have my planner. So the daily planner and journal is actually like a combo type thing on one side of the page. It's a planner, like an actual daily planner. It's got space for like two, only two of your must-do items for the day because I want to list like five to ten things that you're not gonna get to.

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01:

Then you're gonna feel guilty because you didn't do them. So just focus on two. And then there's also a space there for like being able to evaluate like what's worked today, like what what has been flowing today, what's been working for you, even if it's whether it's like your inner kind of dialogue stuff, personal stuff or work stuff. Like if you are handling a a hard project right now and you're kind of bumping up against a wall, it's like, well, what's flowing and what's not working? Like what has been challenging for you and what's the shift for tomorrow? Kind of thing. I think it's similar to a lot of other planners, like we'll ask you, like, oh, what was a win today? What could be better tomorrow? It's a variation of that, which I think is helpful for you to like be able to look at those things. Um, but I also include a section for self-compassion or gratitude.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_01:

Because we often also just want to focus on all the things that went wrong or what we didn't. So that gives you a moment to like kind of zoom back and like show some gratefulness of what the day was, because there's at least one thing that you can be grateful for, even if it was just I woke up this morning.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. Right. Lunch today. Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

I had lunch today. I actually ate lunch. I didn't work through lunch. Yeah. Yeah. And then on the other section, it's what I like to call microjournaling, which is basically what we were talking about earlier, like throughout your day, like if someone, you know, upsets you, write that down. Or if you just have, I I have like anxiety, like not, I'm not diagnosed with anxiety, but it's there. Like I know that it's there. And sometimes I get so caught up in that anxiety of just like looping the looping thoughts. And I'll write those down just to kind of get them out on that section of the microjournaling. And then I can also go back and reread those things and like, oh, what can shift tomorrow? And it kind of goes back to the section, right? That I was just talking about. So that's kind of like a free space. Like it doesn't have to be like what's bothering you. It can just be the things that are top of mind for you, like things that you consistently think about. And it helps you just to get it out because it's out of your brain.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And it also lets you look at it and say, like, okay, I am having like a little bit of anxiety here. Like, what can I put aside? Like, I can put this aside for right now, and what can I focus on? Something that's tangible. So I think that there's various ways that you can use it. But for me, the whole, you know, release, reflect, and realign is like the basis of it because you're able to release those things and just kind of get them out on paper. And then when you go back and actually read it, then you can see, like, oh, you know, maybe this was irrational. Maybe this was an irrational fear I was having, or something that, you know, it's just something that I couldn't control in that moment. Because I find that anxiety comes with a lot of the fear of I can't control this. Yes, yes. So it works in a lot of various ways. And yeah, I've just found it to be really helpful. And the fact that it's tied with my planner, like I'm already using it every day. Yes, yeah. So it's an it's a functional tool for you to do both plan and journal, which I think a lot of people struggle with journaling because they can't keep it as a daily habit. Yes, yes, for sure. Um, and it's like journaling doesn't have to be this like one hour ritual type thing. I don't have to light candles, but please, if you do like candles, please go and get carries candles. Yes, of course. But yeah, it doesn't have to be like that. You don't have to have your special pens, you don't have to, although I do love a special pen.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, yes, girls love a special pen and lots of pen.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I think it's good for people for both beginners, especially for beginners, because they don't know where to start. And you know, a lot of things like people we were talking about people struggle with journaling because they don't know what to write. And this is kind of more of like a brain dump style. I I like to call it intuitive journaling, uh, also. I I I have various names for it, I guess, like micro-journaling, intuitive journaling, just because it feels less daunting, yes. As opposed to like, oh, I have this prompt and now I need to like do some deep thinking and I don't even know how to answer this question.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, yes. Sometimes that is an issue for sure, for sure. So where can people find this?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, so they can go find it on Instagram on the links that I have set there. My Instagram is at gavi.remailey. Um drop that in the show notes. I will link all of that, yes, for sure. I also have Instagram for my podcast, Blissly Wold Podcast, which is more just about the podcast stuff. On my personal Instagram, you'll see more about journaling and just kind of boundaries in general, and also about my podcast too. It's kind of a mixed bag on my personal one, but still all about journaling and boundaries and the podcast.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, but you use all of this in your personal life. And so I think like mixing it together like that shows people how it doesn't have to be something separate. It is um a way for you to just get in this habit every day of taking care of you and listening to your inner voice and you know, focusing on the things that you need and what to change or what to keep the same. So I love that. I love how you you shared all of that. So is there anything else that you would like to share before we end for the day?

SPEAKER_01:

So I will be coming out with an audio series on how to do this microjournaling of release, reflect, and realign, just to give people more step by step. That is still TDA, but it's on my to-do list.

SPEAKER_00:

On your two items, right? Yeah. So do you know how you're going to be sharing that yet? Is it gonna be on your podcast, like on your Instagram or so?

SPEAKER_01:

The series will be an actual paid offer um that goes as a companion to the daily planner and journal, which I think right now that's still, you know, a freebie that people can go and download just to start using it. Um the audio series will go into how to actually use that and apply it.

SPEAKER_00:

I love that. I love that. Personal connection on how to manage that in your life. I love it. Well, Gabby, thank you so much. I have Enjoyed our conversation so much today. And I'm excited for my listeners to hear all of the goodness that you're um sharing today. And I'll make sure I link everything and we will stay connected. And maybe we can do something together in the future because it sounds like we're really aligned.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that would be fun. And I think your doggos agree that they enjoyed the conversation.

SPEAKER_00:

Perfect timing. That is Louie. He's a burning doodle and he's very vocal. So he is always um sharing his thoughts on things. So he wants the women around us to ignite their fuel and fire as well. I love it. So thank you so much. All right, thank you, Carrie. Well, that's it for today, babe. But your fire is just getting started. If you're feeling lit up, go ahead and hit subscribe, leave a spicy little review, and tag me at She Ignites Candle Co. so I can hype you up. Remember, the world doesn't need a quieter version of you. It needs the bold, blazing, fully expressed you. Until next time, keep glowing, keep going, and never, ever dim your damn light.