She Ignites

From Fine To Fire

• Kari

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Ever catch yourself saying “I’m fine” while feeling dimmed inside? We go straight at the sneaky grip of survival mode - the autopilot loop that looks productive on the surface but drains joy, creativity, and connection underneath. I share the moment I realized I wasn’t lit anymore, and the specific steps that helped me move from white-knuckling through the day to living in flame mode with intention.

We unpack what chronic stress does to your body and brain, why it blocks big ideas, and how simple tools can downshift your nervous system fast. You’ll learn a calming breath pattern, grounding cues you can use anywhere, and movement ideas that actually clear stress instead of adding pressure. Then we pivot to desire - the fuel survival mode starves - and I walk you through asking for what you want without guilt, from career pivots and creative play to deeper intimacy and everyday joy. To make it stick, we build sustainable rituals: candle-lit mornings, midday resets, and reflective evenings that feed your fire without burning you out.

You’ll also experience a short “survival exit” visualization to rehearse safety and choice in your body, plus five journaling prompts to map where you’re on autopilot, what you truly want, and which relationships stoke or smother your spark. The goal isn’t an overnight reinvention; it’s one spark at a time until your baseline is blaze. If you’re ready to stop surviving and start thriving with clear, doable practices, this one’s your match. Subscribe, share it with a friend who needs the nudge, and leave a quick review - then tell me: what would you start today if you weren’t just surviving?

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Post-production editing by SoulFlow Studios - https://soulflowstudios.com/

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to She Ignites, the podcast where we burn the rule book, ditch the shoulds, and light up the lives we were meant to lead. I'm your host, Carrie Lowe, candlemaker, confidence dealer, and your favorite fire starter. Around here, we speak boldly, dream wildly, and show up messy and magical. If you're done playing small and ready to own your own spark, you're in the right damn place. Now let's get lit. Hey Firestarters! I just want to share with you that this podcast has quickly become one of my favorite things to do. I love getting messages from my listeners telling me that something just hit them and it resonated and that it helped them see something a little more clearly, or even to suggest topics that they would love to hear me talk about. And that means the absolute world to me. I would love for you to continue to do that. And you can also recommend my podcast, share an episode that you think a friend needs to listen to, and of course, leave me a review. So let's get started. Welcome back to She Ignites. This is the space where just getting by gets burned to the fucking ground and living on fire becomes the standard. In this episode, we are going to talk about going from survival mode to flame mode. And let me tell you, survival mode, it is sneaky. It looks like checking off to-do lists and keeping it all together. It looks like fine. But here's the truth. Survival mode, it is not living. It's waiting. It's white knuckling. It's existing on fumes and calling it fuel. By the end of this episode, you'll be able to spot when you're stuck in survival, learn how to regulate your nervous system so you don't live there forever. And most importantly, start choosing flame mode, the place where you don't just exist, you fucking blaze. So there was a season in my life where if you asked me how I was, I always said the same word. Fine. Fine at work, fine at home, fine in my head, fine everywhere. But the truth, I was barely holding it together. I was living on autopilot, wake up, grind, crash, repeat. Meals, coffee, and whatever else I could grab. Sleep, oh, that was erratic. Joy, non-existent. I wasn't falling apart loud enough for anyone to notice, but inside I felt like a dimmer switch turned down so low, I barely even recognized myself. One night I was sitting on the couch staring at a candle flickering and it hit me. I wasn't lit anymore. I was surviving, not living. And if I didn't figure out how to flip that switch, I was going to burn out completely. That moment was the start of learning. Survival mode is not my forever. Flame mode is my birthright. So let's talk real for a second. Survival mode doesn't just exist in your head, it is also in your body. When you're stuck there, your nervous system is running fight, flight, freeze, nonstop. Cortisol floods your body. Your brain, it's wired for threats, not creativity. That's why you can't dream big when you're constantly bracing for impact. Survival mode asks you, what do I need to get through today? Flame mode? Well, it asks, what do I need to set my life on fire with purpose? There's a big difference. So let's check to see if you are in survival mode. If you answer fine automatically, even when you're not, do you make decisions based on fear, not desire? Does rest feel impossible like you have to earn it? Maybe you've stopped asking big questions. You're just hustling to keep afloat. Your joy, it feels muted. If you nodded yes at most of these, you're not broken. Honey, you're just stuck in survival. And that's okay. The goal isn't to judge yourself, the goal is to ignite yourself. This isn't about overnight reinvention. Girl, let me tell you, this takes time. I'm still working through it every single day. Flame mode, it isn't built in a single leap. It's built one spark at a time. So the first thing we need to do is regulate our body. You can't think your way out of survival mode if your body still believes you're under attack. Breathe deep in through your nose, out twice as long through your mouth. Ground yourself. Feel your feet on the floor. Notice five things in the room. Move. This may look like shaking, knit out, stretching, walking, doing some aerobics, whatever it is that lights you up when it comes to movement. Girl dance. That's what I love to do. These aren't luxuries, they're exits. So the next step is to reignite desire. Survival mode, it kills desire. Flame mode feeds on it. Ask yourself, what do I want, not need? What do I want? A trip? Maybe a career pivot? More intimacy with a spouse, a significant other, or friend, or your family, more creativity. When was the last time you did something just for you? Write those things down without censoring them. That's the smoke rising from your fire. And next we're going to rebuild rituals that sustain that fire. Flame mode isn't about chaos. It's about sustainable blaze. We're going to think about morning rituals that light you up. Maybe it's a candle lighting. Maybe it is meditating. Playing a certain playlist on your phone. Maybe it's journaling. A midday reset, step outside, power affirmations, stretch breaks. Personally, I love to take my lunch break parked beside any kind of body of water, which is typically a lake, river because of where I live. And I take my journal. Evening rituals are wonderful to use to end your day with pause and reflection. You can write down things that you are grateful for in a gratitude journal. You can release things that didn't feed you during that day. And you can celebrate things that you have done. Fire without fuel, it burns out. Flame mode, it feeds itself. So let's talk about a micro ritual. I like to call it the survival exit. This cannot be done if you're driving. So save this spot and finish it later if you're on the road. But I want you to close your eyes. Slow breathing. Picture yourself sitting in a dark room. The walls are bare. The air, it's heavy. This is survival mode. Now in front of you, you see a single flame. Small but steady, and it's flickering. This is your desire. Your energy, your spark. I want you to walk toward it. Put your hand gently over it. Feel the heat. Say out loud. I choose more than survival. I choose the flame. Breathe in. Feel the fire expand in your chest. Imagine it filling the room until the walls dissolve into smoke. Open your eyes. This is flame mode. And girl, it is already inside you. Of course, I'm gonna share some journaling prompts with you because this is something that heals. So I want you to grab your journal and I want you to write these questions down and answer them honestly. Don't hold back. One, where in my life am I still running on survival autopilot? Two, what desire have I silenced because it felt selfish? Three, what rituals would keep me blazing without burning me out? Who around me feeds my fire and who drains it? Man, this is a big one. Five, if I wasn't surviving anymore, what would I start today? I want you to share the answer, especially with that one, with me. Let your answers be messy, bold, and unfiltered. This isn't about pretty journaling, it's about striking matches. So here's the truth. Survival has kept you alive, but it won't make you thrive. So here's your permission slint. Leave survival mode at the door, step into flame mode, because your life, it doesn't need you on autopilot, it needs you ablaze. I am so excited to hear how you are going to step out of survival. Because survival? That chapter's closed. It's time to burn bright. Well, that's it for today, babe. But your fire is just getting started. If you're feeling lit up, go ahead and hit subscribe, leave a spicy little review, and tag me at sheignites candleco so I can hype you up. Remember, the world doesn't need a quieter version of you. It needs the bold, blazing, fully expressed you. Until next time, keep glowing, keep going, and never, ever dim your damn light.