Finding Power In Your Design - Guest Episode!

What if the strength you’ve been chasing was waiting in the softness you’ve been avoiding? That question sits at the heart of our conversation with human design mentor Kali Tougas, whose story arcs from paramedic grit in a male-dominated field to a life led by deep body wisdom, seasonal rhythms, and a more generous definition of power. We dive into the moment grief broke the spell of proving, and how that rupture made space for a voice that feels steady, not forced.

Kali unpacks confidence as self-trust rather than performance, and why “boundaries” sometimes back us into boxes we don’t need. Her alternative, drawing a line in the sand - honors context and compassion without losing clarity. Together, we examine the hidden costs of stoicism taught in EMS and the healing that comes from naming feelings, debriefing, and letting tenderness back in. From there, we explore how human design becomes a practical, everyday tool: choosing slow mornings if they fit your energy, letting momentum lead on high days, and parenting by understanding how your child’s design truly operates.

We also talk identity after leaving a calling. When a career becomes family, stepping away can feel like losing yourself. Kali offers a way back: ask where you’re losing power, wait out emotional highs before saying yes, and return to your body’s signals as the final authority. Whether you’re a manifesting generator craving flexibility or a projector who needs rest to thrive, you’ll hear simple, humane steps to align your work, home, and inner world without apology.

If you’re ready to stop proving and start aligning, press play. Then subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review to help more women find their fire. What line in the sand are you drawing this week?

Where can you find Kali?  Right here:  

https://www.instagram.com/kalitougas/

https://www.kalitougasservices.com/human-design-chart

https://www.kalitougasservices.com

Want to be a guest? Fill out this form: https://forms.gle/k4E2VLQAJwk2YaKq5

www.sheignitescandleco.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sheignitescandleco/

Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekarilowe

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/1MLVk3uvJp/

email: kari@girluncovered.com

Post-production editing by SoulFlow Studios -  https://soulflowstudios.com/

Transcript

Welcome And Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Welcome to Cheese Night, the podcast where we've burned the rule book, stitched the shoulds, and light up the lives we were meant to lead. I'm your host, Carrie Lowe, candlemaker, confidence dealer, and your favorite fire starter. Around here, we speak boldly, dream wildly, and show up messy and magical. If you're done playing small and ready to own your own spark, you're in the right damn place. Now let's get rid. Welcome back, Firestarters, and I'm so excited to talk to you today with Kaylee Tugas. I have met her through um, I believe it was a mastermind or something that um we were involved in and we met through that, and I have followed her and um love her content. And I wanted to introduce you all to this amazing woman tonight. And she is a human design mentor with a background in leadership and a passion for helping women connect with their true selves. She guides clients through life and business transitions using the wisdom of human design. Kaylee's approach blends a practical mentorship, deep self-awareness, and a friendly, trustworthy vibe that makes transformation accessible and sustainable. She has created transformative group programs like the Business Frequencies Mastermind and developed educational resources for parents, leaders, and life enthusiasts. Connect with Kaylee to discover how aligning with your unique design can create more ease, clarity, and fulfillment in your journey. Kaylee, thank you so much for joining me. I'm so excited to talk to you. I am so excited to be here. This is gonna be so much fun. Yes. And for everyone listening, make sure you tune in and finish this whole um episode because what she has to tell you about herself and what she does is absolutely fascinating. She actually was um my first introduction to human design, and I have learned so much and still have so much to learn. So I'm gonna jump right in and start asking you a few questions about the fire within. Uh, so the first one I have for you is what rules and expectations as a woman did you buy into before you found your true voice?

SPEAKER_02 2:42

Ooh, such a great question. And so for me, I I think instead of like buying into like this is what I was supposed to do, I bought into, and this probably will like piss some people off, but bought into more of I have to prove myself, I have to show myself, like I can do anything a man can do type thing. Yes. Absolutely just like embracing who I was as a woman. I thought that I always had to challenge the system or challenge something. And so I grew up and when I went to college and all that, I was like, if a man can do it, I can do it, like I can do it better, that type of thing. Instead of embracing who I truly am and embracing like that feminine aspect of myself, I really chased the masculine, um, masculine energy of it.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

That's what I was going to to follow up and ask if you felt like you had, if like you felt like you were needing to um embrace both sides, the feminine and the masculine, or if you felt like you needed to push more towards the masculine.

SPEAKER_02 3:45

So definitely masculine. Like my so my initial career path changed in college. And I actually ended up going into EMS and being a paramedic. And back when I did that, there was very little women in it. Uh-huh. And so like you had to have the grit in order to make it. And um, I had that. Like I was full fledged, like, I'm gonna do this. I remember my parents being like, there's no way you're ever gonna do this. So I was like, watch me, you know, and so and then work my way up the chain of command, which is really hard to do in EMS because the positions are so hard to find, and really, really was in my masculine energy through that.

unknown 4:24

Right.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

Well, I love that um you were able to embrace that so that you could see both sides, even if it wasn't what you necessarily wanted to do. I think sometimes we have to see, wait a minute, that's not the space I want to live in. But I'm glad that I know what that space feels like. So on the other side of that, coming out of it, when did you realize that your voice was powerful? Um, using the feminine side, and how did you start using it unapologetically?

Burnout, Loss, And A Turning Point

SPEAKER_02 4:52

Yeah, so for me, like a lot of people that I feel like get caught up in the societal hustle of things. I got caught up in that and eventually it just burned me out and I was like, I can't do this anymore. Um, I also found myself in a relationship that was no longer fitting for me, and um, it just kind of beat my head against the wall, I kind of feel like with that too. Um, but I'd say that the huge turning point was when my dad passed away. And that was like a significant blow to me, and it really shook me to the point of like, what am I doing? Is this really how I want to spend my time? Like, I barely get to see my kids. I'm on call, like I'm putting in all these hours, and what do I really want with my life? Because his was taken very suddenly. And the thought, you know, I'm gonna back up just a second. The thought of that was hard, but it also hit home more because I've seen it, right? Like I was a paramedic and I seen death all the time, and I seen people lose their lives at early ages and and all the things that could happen. But when it when it happened to me, it just became even more real to the point where I was like, you know, something's gotta change. This isn't working, and this isn't the life I want anymore.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Absolutely. It's it's um crazy how having a substantial loss in your life can like kind of catapult you into that because I had the exact same experience. I lost my dad um several years ago, and it's been a huge impact on me. And then within that time, I also um, you know, entered what I call, and I'm guessing a lot of women call it second phase of their life, you know, when they hit 50. And um, you know, I'm like, I'm tired of this bullshit. I don't fucking care anymore. And I am going to speak my mind. Sometimes I still have a little trouble with it, but it's like the the loss and the age kind of just grabs you by the, you know, the chokehold or whatever you say. And um, it just makes you want to live life the way you should have been living it all along. And so, you know, I've heard that a lot in women that having a loss like that really makes the the mentality around that change.

SPEAKER_02 7:05

Yeah. And I, you know, for me, I would I've always been pretty like straightforward to the point type person, maybe to a default sometimes before, where now I've softened that some, not because I feel like I have to, but because I wanted to. Right. Feminine energy into it. And then the other part of it was is like this constantly having to prove something for someone. And I'm like, what what am I proving? Like, who am I proving this for? This like makes no sense anymore. What am I trying to do here? Um, but then you know, I would go home and it was like I would turn all that off, and then I was just exhausted. Right. Didn't have the ability to report into my family, but I felt like I had to be so fritz, kind of like so tough because of the field I was working in and the being a male dominant field, particularly. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

And I imagine with seeing what you saw in that role, that you may have felt like you had to have that masculine wall up a little bit so that it didn't hurt your heart as much, right?

SPEAKER_02 8:05

Oh, so yeah, I mean, this is yeah, this is a good podcast. I haven't really talked about any of this. Um, so for me, you know, we we were taught to kind of like stuff things. Like we we never dealt with it, we never all of that stuff. Um, that was the generation of paramedics like I came into was um after calls, we really didn't debrief, we really didn't talk about things. It was always stuffed, and you brought it home. Well, at the time I was married to somebody who was a firefighter, and that was like a great thing for me because I could come home and like talk about the things and had somebody who could understand it. Right. It's not like I came home and my husband was an accountant or you know, something where they have no clue. Um, so I was very blessed in that, in that aspect of it. But it really was a a time frame of we stuff things down, we don't talk about it, we don't have feelings for it, we don't have emotions where there has been a big shift now in in EMS for paramedics and EMTs of like you guys gotta deal with this, otherwise it's gonna compound and it's it's gonna catch up with you at some point. So um, but yeah, definitely back when I was a paramedic, that was a big thing of you you didn't cry after a call, you didn't show emotions. If you did, you were weak, like that mentality. Oh, I know, right? So yeah, definitely there's definitely been a shift with that, but it is very much an intense uh field to work in.

Softening Into Feminine Power

SPEAKER_01 9:23

Well, I'm glad that that shift is coming into play for that, for that industry for sure, because I imagine that it's definitely needed. I can't, I can't fathom, you know, just having to go from one call to the next without having like a um you know, moment to to capture your thoughts and and calm a little bit. So now we're gonna move on to confidence. And I know this is a big one for women, and I think even, well, I know, even the most confident appearing women um, you know, have moments where that's just not the case. So I want to know what confidence looks like for you, not what you've been taught, but what you have actually claimed.

SPEAKER_02 10:04

Yeah, so for me, I can I can honestly say confidence hasn't been a huge struggle for me. Um, when it comes to that's one area I feel like I've always had confidence in the things I do and and I really trust myself in what I'm doing. And so for me, it's really trusting who I am and not doing something because somebody else wants to see it a certain way, right? Like having confidence of how I show up is really how I'm meant to show up and how I'm meant to be there and people are meant to meet me where I'm at and that type of thing.

SPEAKER_01 10:34

So now to get a little more detail about that, is that how you were raised, or is this something that you developed through um reading, research, the older you became, teachers? What how where do you think that that started its manifestation in you?

SPEAKER_02 10:53

Yeah, so you know, for me, I I struggled in high school because I've never been a real brainy person. Like I like smart, I'm smart, but it didn't necessarily come real easy like it does for some. And so I feel like when I had when it came to the confidence piece, the confidence was there. So it got me through some of that. I don't really know where I learned it from, like thinking about it. Um I grew up in a household where it was, I always say like we were not, I didn't have helicopter parents, I had the opposite of that. I can't think what it's called now. But you know, like we left the house during the day, we came back when the street lights came up. Right, right. Me too. Yeah. Like six o'clock, the the bells go off at the church. It still does, and we we had to be home when the bells went off for supper, and then we left again. And right um, so I think you know, just being a child of that era, um, you have to have confidence in order to make it to or in order to have friends, in order to like do anything, because if you didn't, you'd never leave the house.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

Absolutely. Good point. Fending for ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 11:57

And I I grew up in a small town too. Um everybody knew everybody. My dad was a business owner, like I couldn't get away with anything, you know.

SPEAKER_01 12:06

I feel that my mom was a teacher. I grew up in a very small town, we had one high school, and I give it you couldn't skip school, you couldn't do anything. She would find out about it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:18

I mean, yeah. I I mean, people we had harvest days because for farm kids, so they could leave and it didn't count against them. So harvest, like people during deer hunting season, they would come late to school or leave early to go out deer hunting. Like it was a big thing. We'd have school off on deer opener. Right. Very small town. Like I grew, all right, graduated with I think it was 68 or 67 people.

SPEAKER_01 12:43

Wow. Well, I had 97, so a little bit more than that. But so yeah, it might have been in neighboring communities. Yeah, our like Thanksgiving break and all of that was planned around hunting season.

SPEAKER_02 12:56

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Small town in North Dakota is where I grew up. And so, um, and I like I said, I just feel like you had to have certain aspects when you grew up in that era and that time. Um, it's for me, confidence, I think, was one of those things. That's awesome.

The Cost Of Stoicism In EMS

SPEAKER_01 13:12

Okay, so at Shee Ignites, we talk a lot about fire, you know, the fire within energy, boundaries, joy, all of that type of thing. So I'm curious how you protect those aspects of your life as a woman.

SPEAKER_02 13:28

Yeah, so boundaries, you know, I'm laughing because I despise the word boundaries. Um, I I just don't like the word. I don't know why. You have a do you have a word that you use? Yeah, so for me, I talk about like drawing a line in the sand. Okay. And I'll draw our line in the sand. And I feel like before I kind of went through my transition and my piece of me that was like, it's time to get your shit together, I would move that line sometimes, right? And I'd be like, oh okay, I'll do this or I'll do that or that type of thing. Um, with it. And now I'm like, nope, there's my line. I also think with it though, that there are times when we get to choose if we move our line, right? So like if we Right. So, like for me, if I put a line in the sand because I don't even know what to think of right now. Like my kids, my kids love to push my line, right? So I have a 16, 16 and a half year old son right now, my youngest, and he likes to push the limits with curfew, or he likes to push the limits with whatever it may be. And I get to choose as his mom if I want to move that line or not. Now, if I'm constantly moving it because of my feelings of like guilt or something like that, then that's wrong. But if I want to move it because I understand that it's a half hour from where his friends are, I want to give them the benefit of the doubt, something like that. I can I can choose that, right? Like I can make that choice. Now, when it came to when I was working a career, once I like discovered my line in the sand and how much I had moved it, I stopped moving it. I'm like, no, this is a job. I'm an employee, this is my employer, and I'm no longer making sacrifices that hurt my family. I'm no longer crossing that line. Absolutely. I love that. Yeah. So some would say, well, that's a boundary. Well, sure. I suppose you could call it a boundary. But to me, like boundaries are like so steadfast. Like I think of a boundary on like a lot line, and like this is what it is, and it's not moving ever. And there's just times I think in our lives that things have to move or shift because we're growing or we're stretching or we're moving as a person.

Redefining Confidence

SPEAKER_01 15:28

Sure. I love that. I've never heard it described that way. And um, you know, you're right. The it does seem like this hard box when you're setting that, um, calling it a boundary because like you can't pass this. And then if there's a uh I've been in situations where I have never set a line in the sand, let's say I've been really bad about that until the past few years. And then so, you know, it's a big change. And I'm like, I've got to do it. Like, I'm all out, you know, go big or go home. And I'm setting that, I'm setting that line or boundary. And then I feel like, oh, I really want to bend that a little bit for this situation. But then like, no, I said it. And that's people know that that's what my line is. And so I like that you have just given me permission to be able to move. So thank you.

SPEAKER_02 16:17

Yeah, I mean, there's the circumstances that come up. Like, I I will say I hold hard boundaries for my mom. My mom and I don't have the best relationship. We never have. And so I have very strong boundaries for her, but I also have moved that boundary from time to time because there's been things that have happened. My dad passing, right? Boundaries got moved. Um, she got a cancer diagnosis and was going through a lot, and some of the stuff I would normally not tolerate, I'm going to tolerate for her during that time because she's going through a lot, right? So that's why I think too, like sometimes boundaries is like such a a hard thing. It's it's very much a thing that we need to realize things to have ebbs and flows to it too, in some circumstances. Now, can people take advantage if we're constantly moving aligned? Absolutely. And that's why then we go to like here's my boundary, I'm never going to but again, we're human, we're all human in this experience that we're in, and humans ebb and flow. We don't we don't stay one way, we more can we change. So I love that.

SPEAKER_01 17:18

I'm so glad that I asked you that question. So I know that with your you know, with your human design, just the the things that you post in your content and the you know the things that I see when I'm following you. Um my next question is about daily habits and rituals that help you stay in tune to your own voice. And I'm guessing that you use your human design to help you with that. So tell me a little bit about how you make sure you stay true to your voice.

SPEAKER_02 17:53

Yeah, so for me, I don't necessarily have steadfast things like this is my ritual every morning. I kind of have a routine, I guess is a better way. I have kind of a routine, but I allow for ebb and flow in that routine. I am not a morning person. I am 100% not a morning person. I claim this so much. I like to sleep in, I like to get up, I like to have slow mornings, I like to have my coffee and just sit and enjoy it. And that's just like part of who I am. But there are mornings when I'm like, I get up and I'm like feisty and I'm like ready to hit the floor running, and I'm not gonna stop myself from doing that either because like this is what I'm supposed to do. No, no, no. Like that doesn't happen. So I really tune into my own body and like what is it asking for? Just like I know I need to get outside every day, I need to get my feet on the ground every day. Now, being in North Dakota, that is not possible all the time because it's cold. Yes, and so then how else can I do that? And even for me, bundling up in a snowsuit and stuff when we had a house, I go out and move snow, and people were like, Why do you like to move snow? Because it gets me outside. You know, I'm part of nature again, and that's that to me is a huge piece of it. Um, just like at night, I don't necessarily have a night like ritual. I have somewhat of a routine I follow, but again, I it very much ebbs and flows for me. I would also say seasonal. Like I'm a very much a seasonal person, like how I eat is seasonal. The things I drink is seasonal, like we're going into fall. Mother Earth right now is messing with me because we've been 82 degrees the last two days. Yes. I'm like, where is my 50 and 60 degree mother? I'm ready to like Saturday, I'm ready to have hot teas. I'm like, my body is craving that, and you know, I want stews and I want all these hearty things. Right. And it's so hot, and I was just like, this is too warm for me to do this stuff. So, but yeah, so like to me, there's there's very much like a seasonal aspect to it, um, which does fall in line with my human design. And so um understanding those pieces of it, I think, are really important. Anybody can understand pieces of their human design that affect your day-to-day and how you flow. And some people aren't made to flow, so people are made to have a very structured routine and type thing, and I love that for them. That's just not me. Yes.

Lines In The Sand Not Boundaries

SPEAKER_01 20:12

I have in the past with my business, I've been, I have a really strong history in direct sales and then, you know, moving into my own business and working in, I have a full-time job as well, and working in corporate America or a nonprofit, it seems like we're taught, I think, that this is how you need to schedule your day and you need to make sure you fit all of this in, and you need to get up 30 minutes before you need to be getting up. And I am also not a morning person, and I would rather spend less time on my hair and makeup so that I can sleep 30 minutes later. But it's um, I love that you say that you're in tune to your body and you listen to it because I also feel like I'm shoved in a box if I feel like I have to have that routine. And you know, I have habits and I love to journal, but I don't journal all at the same time every day. It's just like whenever inspiration hits me and the thoughts hit me. And so um kind of like the line in the sand. I love that you like have shared that you kind of move it around a little bit based on how you're feeling. So sounds like you have, you know, a lot of the women that I talk to, I I I don't know what percentage yet, as far as the people that are learning to claim their life or as the way they want it to be, and you know, versus the percentage that have kind of always been that way. So it's so much fun for me to listen to um both sides of it because I am, you know, an extreme extrovert that needs my quiet space sometimes to heal from that. But I also am someone that is just learning how to. To claim my full self. And I love listening to people and having conversations with people that have always done that because it's so inspiring to me and enlightening too. So, you know, as far as the conversations that I have here, I never know which direction it's going to take because, you know, you just don't know until you start asking the questions. So I feel like you probably have always done this, but I'm going to ask you anyway. Um, what does living on your own terms look like in real life? Not the highlight reel, you know, that we always hear about for social media.

SPEAKER_02 22:38

Yeah. So, you know, as you were talking to just a little bit ago about stuff, like my struggle has always been this internal pull of like, I want to be the person that like does really well and I want to work up the chain and I want to be like this high profile person. And then the other part of me is like, I want to be a mom and I want to cook suppers and I want to do the house cleaning and I want to do these things, right? So, like, there's this like pull of both and wanting both. And so for me over the last like four or five years, it's trying to find a blend of that that works for me. And is it really I want to make my business a big thing or climb the corporate rat ladder because I was told I needed to, or is that really what I wanted? Right. And we're conditioned so heavily by society and what we're told we're supposed to be, that sometimes it takes years to get through that conditioning to really figure out is this what I want, or is this what I think I want? Right? Is this what my body is telling me I want, or is this what my brain has been so conditioned to think that I need to do this? And so I'm still in that. Like I'm still in this process of like figuring it all out and having moments of like, I want to be the the mom and the wife of like the storybooks, right? That like stay helping with things. And I do that for like a week, and I'm like, this is not me. I'm a huge person that like builds this huge company, and then the week goes by and I'm like, I don't know if I really want to be honest there, you know. And so I think that as we evolve as humans, as we involve as individuals and we figure out really what is what is what pieces of me do I really want to be, and what pieces have been conditioned and I want to let go of. That's the that's the fun part. Yeah. Like peeling back the layers and figuring the things out, and you know, crying over the loss of our old self because that piece of us made us who we are today, but then embracing the future part of us that it's gonna be there for us and hold us through things.

Rhythms, Seasons, And Listening Body

SPEAKER_01 24:35

So I have been in direct sales for 30 years close to probably. So it's been a huge part of my identity, and I've had great success with it. And I've met some of my closest, most amazing best friends through that industry, as well as the people that have been mentors to me. And then five years ago, maybe four years ago, I'm like, I just don't think I want to do this anymore. I don't think it's me. And then I started like phasing myself out of it, and then because I have been so known for it, and I have this like huge community of people that I've worked in that industry with. Like they start something new and they call me. Hey, I know you would be great at this, you but love it. And as a creative, I get very excited about the idea of new things, and so I started saying yes every time someone called me. And then as soon as I signed up, I'm like, oh, I don't want to do this, and so I started forcing myself anytime someone came to me with um a proposition or you know, a recruiting conversation, I've I forced myself to give me two weeks to make a decision. And that has changed my life because I no longer say yes to things that I don't want to do. And then another time when I realized this, I was on um Matthias Barker. Are you familiar with him? He's a therapist and his content is amazing. And I took a mastermind um class of his once, and he was um, it was always by Zoom, and he was sitting there with this the Neanus coffee cup, like one of the coolest coffee cups I've ever seen. Colors I love, and you know, someone had mentioned it was a very small, intimate group of people, and someone mentioned how beautiful that cup was, and he was like, Thank you, I made this. I do pottery in my free time, and I immediately thought I could do that. I would love to make a cup that's that cool. I should do that. And I'm like writing down notes, look up while we're talking about psychology, look up pottery places near me. And I get off the phone. I'm like, I don't want to fucking make pottery. What am I doing? I don't want to do that. So why am I allowing myself to be influenced by excitement when I'm not for sure that that's what I want? And so it's but it's take it takes a long time to figure out if it's excitement because it's new or if it's excitement if it's some because you really want to do it. And so I'm still trying to learn that. But I have been direct sales free, I think for three, four years now. And while I miss the community, I don't miss anything else. And um, you know, so I'm very proud of myself for that, for like being, no, I don't want to do that anymore. So I'm not. So I love that um, you know, that you kind of shared the same thing. It sounds like we have a lot in common when it comes to a lot of those type of things.

SPEAKER_02 28:00

And when you talk about like being part of a community and being part of a group, like EMS became part of my identity. Oh, yeah. Right? Because like public service work is so niche as we call it in the online space. Um, but you become part of another family. And so it's very hard when you break away from that, not just for like EMS providers, but firefighters and police officers, when you talk to people that have retired, it they feel so lost. Right. Because all of a sudden they don't have this group of people anymore. You're not part of it, you're not going on the calls, you're not participating in the things, and you kind of lose a sense of self. Yeah. And that that was huge for me when I left EMS and um kind of lost all of that. And I was like, who am I? Who's this person? And then I found human design and I was like, oh, like this explains like I'm an open identity center. No wonder why I take on other people's identity. I'm an emotional emotions like drive me, but they also like you're talking, right? You're like, this person is so excited, so now I'm so excited. So now it as emotionals, we're like, let's do the thing because we're in a high. And then realizing, like, oh, like I'm supposed to take some time and make decisions slowly. Right.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. And I imagine, like, with the service industry, there are so many highs and lows that it's like a roller coaster of emotion, every shift that you have, and you do that for years and years with the same group of people, and then you step out of it. And I imagine that that is um, you know, a big shift in in emotion, adrenaline, and and all of that, and could understand why, you know, it people retiring or leaving that field could feel you know such a great loss. So I have um, I want to ask one more question before we talk about your um your business. And this is a question that I ask all of my guests. Um, and that is if you could light a fire in every woman listening today, what would you want that fire to say?

SPEAKER_02 30:10

Oh can I can I ask a clarifying question? Absolutely. What do you mean by light a fire?

SPEAKER_01 30:19

So I I guess that's so many things. You're right, you're right. So my I would say mainly to light the fire in women how to believe in themselves and their potential and their power.

Living On Your Own Terms

SPEAKER_02 30:37

Yeah. So one of the things I always say is like, where are you losing your power? Like if you can figure out where you're losing it first, but then the other thing is is getting just in touch with your own body. Like, what is your body telling you? What is your body like giving you signals for? No matter like with a human design perspective, because it's so huge, being in our bodies and understanding what our bodies are telling us are so incredibly important. And I think for women, especially moms or wives, that um anybody, like even if you're single and you're taking care of somebody, like a a family member or parent or something like that, what can happen is we lose aspects of ourselves and we forget ourselves because we start doing everything for everyone else. And so, where are you losing your power and how can you get back into your body and start trusting your own body again? And I think that truly is what lights us up because when we can start tuning back in and finding that like soul spot of ourselves, and like, do I really like this? Like, do I really like fried eggs or do I just eat fried eggs because everybody else eats fried eggs? Do I really like my chicken barbecued or do I like to have it in a pan fried? Like, do I really like mac and cheese, or it's just something I've always ate. So I just say I like mac and cheese, right? Like, I think figuring out who we are and who we really came to be is kind of where our power comes and our fire comes from.

SPEAKER_01 32:04

I love that. I love that. And I know I I talk a lot about um, you know, some people can't figure out the moment when they lost confidence in themselves or the first time that they were made to feel less than. And it took me quite a while to figure that out, but a few years ago I did, and it was in the first grade. And once I figured that out and kind of looked at my path going forward, I'm like, wow, this is why I did that. This is why I did that. And if, you know, if I had stopped and processed, even as a teenager, you know, to figure out what it was that felt right in my body, you know, I could have stopped a lot of the, you know, the little paths that I went off on that, you know, ultimately didn't get me where I wanted to be. So I love that. So now I want you to tell me all about you, your business, and um anything that you want to share about that, if you have offers, um, all of that good stuff.

SPEAKER_02 33:08

Yeah. So I got into human design when I did my coaching certification and absolutely fell in love with it and went down, as some would say, the rabbit hole and never turned back. And so human design is just another modality, another system, another thing to really help us figure out who we are as an individual. Some love astrology, some love um jinkies, some love, I'm trying to think of what else, numerology. Um, I cannot think of the Enneagram. That's another. I am not a big Enneagram person, but some people love Enneagram or whatever else is out there. There's all these different personality tests. Human design actually is connected to a piece of our DNA and who we are. So, like I can pull family charts and see this like commonality of all of them. And so that's really for me what really connected me is that science part because of my background in medical. And yeah, I I think it's a great tool for people to utilize. And it doesn't have to be hard, it can be easy, can be little shifts in your day that that help you align to become that better person of who you want to be.

SPEAKER_01 34:13

So now, can you use, as you said, like that you the if you saw me light up when you said the family tree and you didn't track it? Can you use um your human design to help see what kind of parent you will be, or how to use that to become the parent you want to be?

SPEAKER_02 34:37

I would say you can use human design, like you can use your child, like your children's human design to support them on the journey that they are they're meant to be on. Um, human design is a tool in our toolbox, and so it it doesn't necessarily predict things, but it can help us. So, for instance, my my youngest son is a projector. Projectors in human design are kind of like the misfit, they feel like they work and operate very differently than the rest of society. And me learning that changed how I parent him to this day. So, like, I parent him way different. Um, I've done things and changed things with how I see things. Like a nap for a projector is vital. A nap for me as a manifesting generator, probably not needed all the time. And so understanding the quirkiness about him, which are like his amazing things about him, and being able to give him tips and tricks and being able to, in essence, kind of like customize how I parent to him. Customize how I parent to my generator son who's older, has helped me understand them so that there's less hitting of the heads. There's, you know, less hitting of the heads with his friends, that type of thing.

SPEAKER_01 35:50

Does that make sense? Yes, yes, it does. And I I wish I had known about this. All of my kids are grown. Yeah. I wish I had known about that um, you know, when they were younger, because it sure would have maybe helped me um, you know, with the things that you just described.

Identity After Leaving A Calling

SPEAKER_02 36:07

Oh, yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong, I we're human and oh, absolutely. I still blow up at my kid every now and then. And afterwards, I'm like, why did I do that? Well, because I'm human, like we're all human, and I think that's a big thing for us to remember as parents, as a significant other, as whatever it may be, we're human. And we have human emotions, and we have human experiences, and that doesn't always fit a perfect cookie cut or thing of whatever modality or thing you're using.

SPEAKER_01 36:36

Right. Yeah, love that. So if someone wants to learn more about their own human design and how to use that to make them a better person, um, how do they do that?

SPEAKER_02 36:48

Yeah, so I will make sure that you have uh link to they can connect with me on Instagram, is my main platform where I'm at. I love connecting with people. So if they've listened to this and they want to learn more about human design, just send me a DM and we'll chat because I love doing that. Uh the other thing is they can run their chart. If they scroll down, there's a way they can buy what I call UBook, which is just a little bit of information about human design specific to them with it. And then I have a website that I'll make sure to include here where they can go and explore a little bit on that too.

SPEAKER_01 37:18

Perfect. Do you do um any type of groups or like one-off classes, I guess? I'm that's not the right word, but you know what I'm talking about that like people can join and experience as well.

SPEAKER_02 37:34

Yeah, so um I do individual sessions. Okay. Um, that would be you know something. And through my website, they can sign up for one of those too. Um, I always say get on my email list because I share so much through my email list. Yes. Tons and tons through my email list. Uh I just think it's so much fun to like throw random things out there and really step into my manifesting generator selves. So um my website's the best place to find that. Or again, Instagram if they connect with me there. We have our business frequencies mastermind going on. So if somebody wants to really dive into human design around their business, that would be a great spot for them too.

SPEAKER_01 38:07

Okay, perfect. Well, I will make sure to share everything that you send me so that they can connect with you. And I appreciate you taking the time to talk with me this evening and sharing a little bit about your journey and your business with my listeners.

SPEAKER_02 38:27

Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me on. This has been such a blast.

SPEAKER_01 38:34

Well, that's it for today, babe. But your fire is just getting started. If you're feeling lit up, go ahead and hit subscribe, leave a spicy little review, and tag me at Jights Candleco so I can hype you up. Remember, the world doesn't need a quieter version of you. It needs a bold, blazing, fully expressed view. Until next time, keep glowing, keep going, and never, ever in your damn life.