What If Self-Care Is Your Strategy? Guest Episode Faith Rivera

Burnout can look like ambition on the outside and anxiety on the inside. When you’re the reliable one, the capable one, the “yes” person, it’s easy to wake up one day and realize you’ve been living by expectations that aren’t even yours. Carrie Lowe sits down with leadership consultant Faith Rivera to get painfully honest about what alignment actually feels like in real life and how to find it again when you’ve lost your voice. 

We dig into Faith’s story of burnout and recovery, including what shifted when she stopped treating exhaustion like a badge of honor. Faith shares a simple but powerful tool she uses with clients: an energy audit that tracks what gives you energy, what drains you, and where you experience flow. We also talk about boundaries that actually work, why scheduling self-care matters, and how to tell the difference between something being hard because it’s new versus hard because it’s not aligned with your values, mission, or “red thread.” 

You’ll also hear practical leadership coaching insights on rebuilding self-trust through small decisions, redefining success beyond money and optics, and using quiet time, journaling, and silence to reconnect with yourself. Faith breaks down her work at Alo Civitas Consulting across strategy, professional development, and funding support, plus what’s coming next with her newsletter, conference, and Soul Nourished Success Mastermind. If this hits home, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs permission to rest, and leave a review so more women can find these conversations.

Make sure to follow Faith here! 

https://alocivitas.com/

https://www.instagram.com/alocivitas/

Also make sure to watch for her new offer SNS Soul Nourish Success launching September 20, 2026!

Also don't miss her Columbus Oh, Elevated by Design conference coming up July 21, 2027! 

Did you know She Ignites has a playlist filled with all the Hype songs of our guests?  Find it here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2NZUkiMFR6BvXfA7dzVakh?si=qM0cmFU8SXO-lSEYX1Js3Q

Want to be a guest? Fill out this form: https://forms.gle/k4E2VLQAJwk2YaKq5

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email: kari@sheignitescandleco.com

Post-production editing by SoulFlow Studios -  https://soulflowstudios.com/

Transcript

Welcome To She Ignites

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Welcome to She Ignites, the podcast where we burn the rule book, ditch the shoulds, and light up the lives we were meant to lead. I'm your host, Carrie Lowe, candlemaker, confidence dealer, and your favorite fire starter. Around here, we speak boldly, dream wildly, and show up messy and magical. If you're done playing small and ready to own your own spark, you're in the right damn place. Now let's get lit. So I want to welcome you to the She Ignites podcast. Faith Rivera, we have tried and tried to have this conversation, and life has gotten in the way for both of us. And um, that just, you know, goes to show that women are resourceful and we can make accommodations when needed, but at the same time, still maintain going after what we want, right? So I want to welcome you and thank you so much for joining me in this conversation today.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Yes. Thank you so much, Carrie. I've been looking forward to it.

What “She Ignites” Means

SPEAKER_01 1:20

So I just want to jump right in and ask you what does the term she ignites mean to you?

SPEAKER_00 1:27

I love that you start with this question. I've been thinking about that kind of leading up to today. And to me, she ignites really means, you know, the person, the woman stepping into their authenticity, their boldness. And that is something that is really true to who I am as a person, but also to my brand is helping leaders, helping women really step into their uniquenesses, their authenticity, and what makes them special. Um, I spent a lot of my career and a lot of even the kind of the first year or two of in my business trying to be like everybody else. I was trying to fit somebody else's mold for what it meant to be an entrepreneur, what it meant to be a leader. Um, but once I really stepped into who I am and who I know I'm called to be, that's really where I felt the ignition came from because my message was resonating with people. I felt confident and stepped more boldly into rooms, into spaces that I probably wouldn't before.

SPEAKER_01 2:22

Oh, I love that. So, you know, this is one of the the things that I talk a lot with my listeners about, which, you know, I call fire starters, of course. Love it. Um, but a lot of the a lot of the conversations that I have with these women, um, is like, how do you know? How do you know that you are not being authentic and that you are just following the day day in and day out expectations of someone else? How do you know you're not fulfilled when you are content in your role?

SPEAKER_00 3:00

Ooh, I love this question. I actually get asked this question a lot by my clients.

The Energy Audit For Alignment

SPEAKER_00 3:05

So they're like, Faith, how do I know if I'm, you know, operating in alignment or how I'm, you know, stepping into who I'm supposed to be? And a lot of it to me comes down to a couple of things. Number one is your energy. For me, when I am doing things that are out of alignment with my strength, my values, how I naturally operate, it's extremely draining. And so I always give the example to people of what fills my cup or where I'm in the most flow is when I get to be creative, when I get to educate, when I get to be around people, right? That's where my gifts and talents lie. But the admin stuff that all of us have to do as business owners drains the life out of me. And so typically I save one day a week. I save my Mondays for my admin days. It's kind of that trickle back into the week after the weekend. I don't put a lot of meanings on my books. And it's just, I get to focus on the things that kind of drain me. And then the rest of the week, I get to do the fun stuff. I get to be on podcasts, I get to teach, I get to interact with my team and my clients. And so that would be the first thing. It's like look at your energy. Where is your energy the highest? Where is it the lowest? And then where do you feel like you get into flow? Meaning you could just be sitting at your computer or doing an activity and it feels like no time passes at all, but you look down and you're like, oh my gosh, five hours has passed. That's when you know you're in flow, when the ideas and the thoughts just keep coming without a lot of extra action. So I challenge you, I challenge your listeners to do an audit over the next couple of days of when is your energy at the highest, the lowest, and when do you feel most in flow? And that really to me helps kind of identify where are there areas that you could be in alignment or out of alignment. Uh, and I use that little audit even with myself on a really regular basis too, because sometimes I say yes to other people's, you know, asks or expectations. But then after the fact I realize they're not in alignment with where I'm wanting to go, or I begrudgingly say yes because I love the person I said yes to, but then it like feels hard in the moment. And that's how you know that I'm like, oh, that was not a good yes. Not every yes is a good yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

Right. Well, and even if you're even if I think a lot of us as women have a hard time understanding why not every yes is a good yes, even if it's for a good reason. You know, if we're helping a friend or if we're um, you know, volunteering to whatever it might be, that even though it's for a good cause or a good reason, it might not be good for us. And that I think is a lot of times why we have a hard time saying no. Um, I love the idea of the audit. Um, and I think, you know, another question that I get a lot is people, women especially stepping into midlife. You know, there are no kids at home or they're getting ready to move out. And whether they have had a career or they've been a stay-at-home mom, um, you know, they're wondering, you know, who am I now? Because my identity is wrapped up in my children. Um, or someone that is moving on from one job to another, maybe it's a career shift. Um, is is that how would someone use that audit in order to figure out what it is that's at their inner desire of what they should be doing? Because that's another question I get a lot.

SPEAKER_00 6:29

Ooh, that's a really good question. What I would challenge your listeners to do if they really feel that they're in that unknowingness or they're in that transition is again still do some sort of an audit, but it might look a little bit different, is just kind of check in with yourself throughout the week or even the month and note this, the activities, the skills, the people, the times that again, you feel you're most energetic, most drained, and most in flow. And the reason why I still think that is important, regardless if you're in a transition, if you're trying to figure out, you know, where you feel aligned is because, you know, maybe you realize something brings you energy or joy that you didn't realize. So like I mentioned, you know, education is something that brings me a lot of passion and joy. It is not something that I always thought was going to be in my repertoire of things that I offer to the world. But as I really started reflecting on like, what am when am I at my happiest? When do I feel the most at peace? When do I feel the most energized? It often aligned with other people. It was the things that I could be of service without depleting myself. It could, I was offering value to people in some way, shape, or form. And so I think it's getting to the root cause or the root action that is bringing you those positive feelings or that positive energy and seeing how even if it's in a different role, maybe, you know, you were a stay-at-home mom and you're trying to figure out what's next or you're switching careers and want to make sure it's the right one, is let's get down to the root cause. Like, what is it about that role, that activity that brings you joy or brings you energy? And how does it align with your values? I think sometimes we as women kind of put ourselves on the back burner and put our values on the back burner. And so if you just had to boil it down, like what are the top three things that are important to you? And how do you live those out in your personal and professional life? And so again, I keep coming back to that piece of education because education, I've always felt was a value of mine. It's, I think when you know better, you can do better, you can be better, you can empower others around you. But for the first couple of years of my business up until really the last year, education wasn't a big core focus of what we did. So what I was telling people was the value of mine wasn't how I was actually operating my business. And I felt it in my gut.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

So that was, did you determine that through the audit yourself? I did actually. Okay. It was a little over a year ago. And I was um talking to a good friend of mine who actually also is my um fractional COO. And we were kind of talking about what does this new season look like for Faith as she brings on a team and as she continues to expand. And she asked me, she was like, Can you do this audit for me over the next couple of days? Uh and it was something that I was already doing with my clients, but I wasn't doing for myself or again, right? It's easier to ask other people to do things sometimes than we want to do. And it always came down to people. People are where I get my energy, where I get my passion from. Um, and I match other people's energy too. So and I'm in a room of excited people, or even if it's a Zoom call like this, that's where I really get the joy out of what I do.

SPEAKER_01 9:45

Right. Absolutely. Absolutely. There's there's just something about being, you know, in a room, or as you say, like that. This is one of my favorite things to do with my business is my podcast. It's it's become my passion. I absolutely love these conversations. And I feel like I could do it like eight to 10 hours today. I love it because I love it so much. So I wonder how long have you been in business with four years. Four years. Okay. And what did your life look like before that, before you were in alignment and the flow that you deserve to be in?

Burnout And The Cost Of Yes

SPEAKER_00 10:21

Yeah. If you've listened to any other speech or talk that I've given, or if you look back on any other podcasts that I've been on, one of the um unfortunate stats that I often tout is that I experienced burnout four times before the age of 30, and two of which actually ended me up in the hospital. And a big reason for that was because I was living out of alignment with my values, how I wanted to operate my life, but I was also living from a place of depletion. I was constantly giving to other people without giving anything to myself in return. So some of the, you know, phrases that I have coined now because they're so true to my story and my experiences burnout is not a badge of honor. Not every yes is a good yes, and rest is productive too, because those were things I had to tell myself throughout my recovery journey to actually be able to get to a place where I'm leading from overflow and leading from abundance and not depletion. And so before I started my business, I was working full-time in a very large-scale nonprofit. Um, I was running a very large-scale program with a small team. Um, I was very passionate about the work that we did. I was running special projects for services across an 18-county service area that served families from prenatal all the way to young adulthood. And the the passion was there. I loved what I did. I was so excited about the impact that we made. But I was the yes person in our program, in our department, um, in my life, where anything I was looking at the impact for other people. I wasn't looking at anything for me. So I was typically working, even though I was salaried at 40 hours a week, I was typically working 60 to 80 hours a week. Um, I was also supporting my husband um through the ending of his medical school journey. We were getting ready to move from Texas to Ohio, which was a really big transition, not just in terms of culture and in terms of geography and leaving our family and friends behind. Um, but that is also the time that I chose to take my leap from leaving my corporate job into going to full-time for my business. And even though I made that leap in the summer of 2023, the first year, a year and a half of working full-time in my business was still really rough. I still experienced burnout. Um, everything was depleted. I was busy, busy, busy, busy in every sense of the word, but there wasn't any fruit coming from the work that I was doing. And I got to about a year into that cycle, that tired and wired cycle where I was constantly running through ideas in my head, constantly busy, but I was exhausted underneath. And I sat back and I was like, what am I doing? I literally started this business so that I could have the freedom to help other people and to also pour into myself. And I'm not doing that. And that's when I created the framework that I use with my clients. That's when I really reflected and figured out how the heck do I want this business to run, not just how social media and coaches and everyone else on their mother wants to tell me how to run my business, but how do I actually want to run my business? And so now that was two years ago, and here we are. Um, I've scaled my team. I have four part-time staff that work for me. We've got clients in several states. Uh, we just put on our first successful large one and a half day conference last week in Columbus, Ohio. So we really are, my team and I all are living from a place of abundance and we're really practicing what we preach, which I think our clients and the people that we support really resonate with.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

Absolutely. So I know with you, you know, when we're working in a corporate leadership role, we we have the tendency, I think, to lose our voice while we're using our voice for other people.

Rebuilding Self-Trust In Small Steps

SPEAKER_01 14:16

So in the midst of that, we uh can start to no longer trust ourselves, right? So for the woman listening that, you know, feels disconnected from herself, um, where would she start to build that self-trust?

SPEAKER_00 14:34

I think start small. What are the small things that you can do to start rebuilding that trust with yourself? And honestly, it can be as small as things of like, you know, you need to do a workout. So trust yourself to actually follow through with that. Or you know you need your eight, nine hours of sleep. Put the actions in and trust yourself to do that. And I had to do the same thing, you know, when I built up my business originally and was recovering from my corporate nonprofit burnout. I didn't trust that I was going to make the right decisions. And so I had to start building in those really small micro decisions that I could learn to trust myself and then also seek external validation for a little bit from people who could keep me accountable with my own values, like my husband, my best friend. And it wasn't because I couldn't make decisions, but again, I lost that trust with myself. And so, okay, faith, this is what you're thinking of doing. Okay, let's go, you know, talk with someone else and make sure that it feels aligned with what you say you want to do. Cause then also we sometimes get in our own head and the self-doubt creeps in and the imposter syndrome and all of that. And sometimes just having that external support system of people that really get you and want to lift you up, like even just bouncing ideas off of them, sometimes when you say it out loud, can either really help you or you're like, oh my gosh, that is the stupidest decision I have ever had. And that's okay too. That is a valid reaction as you again learn to retrust your own decision-making abilities. Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 16:05

And I think even when um, you know, even if you're leading a nonprofit and you're at the top, you still are gonna have a board of directors or something like that. And so they're, you know, quote unquote telling you what to do, even though you're making the decisions. And so whenever it's up to us to decide what to do, that's I think when we really start to realize and see how much we don't trust ourselves or how much we've lost it. And it's like, oh my gosh, I didn't realize that, you know, I wasn't secure of my own decisions. And, you know, I have a new job and I know that I'm asking a lot of questions because what freedom do I have here? Is it comparable to my last position? Or do I need to run everything through my supervisor, right? Because you just don't know. And so when you're working on that for yourself, you know, I know that that can cause that internal anxiety because you're like, well, someone's been telling me what to do. Even if they haven't told me what to do, there's that expectation and parameters.

SPEAKER_00 17:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

Yes, yes. So, and it's funny how you were talking about the, you know, the saying yes. And I was looking over my book cases in front of me, and I was looking over at this book that I have, trying to see if I could see the title of it. But it was Shonda Rhymes, I think, wrote it. The year of yes, I think is the name of it. And so I have have you read it? I haven't, but it's on my list. So I asked my husband for that, like as a Christmas gift years ago. And um, he got it for me. And at the end of the year, I remember now I'm going to preface and say it is a good book. However, I used the message in that book and I said yes to far too much. And so I told my husband at the end of the next year, like, you ruined my life by listening to me buying that book for me because I am so tired because I said yes too much. And I think that, you know, that is the perfect message that not the same situation works for everyone. And we've got to listen to that inner knowing. And as you said, you know, see where we feel like we're in flow and when we're depleted. And so I love that you shared that because that gives a visual. And I'm I always like a visual. So at She Ignites, we talk a lot about boundaries, and you know, I have mixed feelings about boundaries, and I think a lot of women that are are working to have boundaries and maintain them probably feel the same way.

Boundaries That Protect Your Health

SPEAKER_01 18:54

So when it comes to you shifting, what would you say is the boundary that changed your life the most?

SPEAKER_00 19:02

Oh, that's a really hard question. Um I would say the biggest shifting boundary for me was really around my health and well-being. Um, so oftentimes, again, we as women, when we get really busy, who's the first person that typically goes to the bottom of the totem pole? Us, right? And so I notice sometimes when I get really, really full and or depleted my capacity, some of the first things that go is my time at the gym or my time out walking, um, my quiet time in the morning, my grounding time, like all the things that I know that I need to be at my best in all senses of my health. And when I started making that intentional shift that the boundary was going to be that faith's health is always a priority, I would say that a lot of things really started shifting in a positive direction. Now it doesn't mean that I'm perfect and I still have struggles upholding my own boundaries sometimes. Again, for example, like Kim mentioned, I had a really big event last week where I leading up to the event was working 10 to 14 hour days for about a week, just trying to get everything done so that I could pour into the people that were in the room. And what was one of the first things to go is my time in the gym, my time cooking and you know, meal prepping and eating healthy. But it was temporary. It was something that I literally set a reminder back on my phone to come this weekend. It was like, schedule your gym time, schedule your workouts, schedule when you're going to do your grocery shopping and your meal prepping. Because I am also a very, I don't like to use the word busy, but I my my schedule is very much in demand from other people. And so if I don't put my priorities in my schedule, it's not gonna happen. And I think that was one of the biggest shifts is I had to schedule my gym time. I had to schedule time with my husband, I had to schedule time with my friends, I had to schedule, you know, the time to recharge and pour back into me. Because if not, I would get to the end of the week and feel bitter or depleted or both. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 21:19

Yeah, and it if it's not on my calendar, it's not going to happen. And yes, um, I I agree with that completely. So one of the things that I have had conversations and have, you know, struggled with myself. I don't know if struggled is the right word, but um, you know, when we're in a season where we're either trying something new or we're trusting ourselves, or we are even trying to figure out what our purpose is or what it is that we're called to be doing, we can feel pulled in a couple different directions. And I'm wondering how you would answer this. If how do we know if something is just Simpl versus no longer aligned. Um, you know, because when we're learning something new, it's difficult. So for example, if I come up with a new idea for my business and I am being pulled towards that and pulled towards it. And, you know, people will say, well, pray about it or meditate about it, or you know, whatever it is that that they do. And I still feel yes is the answer. Is it because I want it to be, or is it because that's truly what I'm called to be doing, or it is something I am to pursue? And I think that that sometimes, you know, can slip in when we're learning something new. And like I said, like it, you know, this is just really hard, or is it no longer aligned? And when we got back, when you know, when you said in the beginning about um, you know, hiring people to help you with things, um, or the admin is what you do on Mondays. I don't like technology. And I mean, I utilize it obviously, but I don't like the back end of things. And so when I was trying to edit my own podcast, it was like bringing me to tears. I couldn't figure it out. And, you know, that was the space when I had to decide, is this just hard? And I'm trying to figure it out and I need to stick with it to learn, or am I completely unaligned with my desires and values? So, how would you um answer and advise for

Hard Work Or Misalignment?

SPEAKER_01 23:38

people on that?

SPEAKER_00 23:38

I love that.

SPEAKER_01 23:39

I know it was in a big circle with that.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

No, no, that is such a good example. And I have a lot of women leaders that come to me asking that same question, whether they're nonprofit leaders, they're business owners, they're thinking about starting a business, or they're just genuinely wanting some advice. The alignment question is one that comes out a lot. And so I'm gonna kind of boil it back to a couple of things that I've mentioned already, because I think that they resonate here too, is does it align with who you are as a person, your values, the brand that you're trying to build? And is it maybe just an extension? So I'll give an example, then I'll kind of come back to some of the other criteria. So uh if you're offering a new service within your business and it's very, very different than anything that you've ever offered before, my question to you is going to be does it easily align with your mission, your vision, your values? But it could just be a unique twist on what you offer. So I'll give an example within my own business. Um, back at the end of middle of last year, I started feeling the nudge to start doing more in-person and virtual events. I did event planning in previous careers, so I knew how to do it, but didn't know if it was going to fit under the umbrella of Alo Civitas Consulting. And so when I was really sitting with like, what's the purpose of this? It boiled down to our red thread of our business is that we build capacity for change for leaders. And does it align with the our key pillars of services? Yes, our key pillars of services are strategy development, professional development, and funding. So conferences, events, you know, those kinds of spaces align with both strategy and they align with professional development. Now it was, okay, is this something that I want to do? Is this something I want to hire out to your point, Carrie? And number one, I'm always the person that like I need to do it at least once to figure out what works and what doesn't. Doesn't mean I'm gonna do it well, but how do I know what help that I need if I don't do it? And so I did, you know, one mini conference on my own back in October. Um, I brought my FCO and good friend and business partner on to this one. And we kind of did it piecemeal as well to figure out what support do we need. But now for next year's conference, we know the scope of people that we need to truly make this elevated experience that we want to bring together. So I think it boils down to is there a red thread alignment with who you are, how you operate? Is it just maybe a new packaging or new way of offering what you do? If it's going to be a hard sell to your audience, my my question to you or my thought to you is are you getting distracted or pulled because you see what other people are doing? Or is it genuinely something that you feel in your soul is the direction that you want to move? Because it's really easy. I even fall trapped to it, right? You see these people building eight-figure businesses that it's like they just did this one thing. No, they really didn't just do that one thing, right? They're so there's 17,000. Correct. Correct. And so is it just the shiny object syndrome, or is it something that really will allow you to elevate what you want to do? And if the answer is yes, you do want to elevate it, then my challenge is like, what support do you need? What systems do you need in place? How can you get some feedback maybe from the people that are in your ecosystem, whether they're friends, clients, uh past clients? And is the cell going to be easy? Doesn't mean the implementation is going to be easy, but does it naturally align? When I started telling people that I was doing professional development events and conferences, no one batted an eye because they're like, Faith, you're already a professional speaker. Faith, you already build community for women. Like this totally makes sense. Now, if I started saying I was going to start offering baking classes, then people might be like, Faith, I never heard you talk about baking once. That might be a harder sell because it's not in alignment with my brain and who I am. That makes perfect sense.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

Yes. And then you confuse your client base. Like, what are you doing here?

SPEAKER_00 27:59

Exactly. And confusion stops people from buying, it stops people from connecting because they're like, wait, you bake, you do this, you do like what do you actually do? And so it's better for you to be crystal clear on one thing and get really good at that one thing, and you can bring in aligning pieces, but if if you're trying to pitch 45 things that are all out of alignment, like you might need to make different brands for it.

SPEAKER_01 28:27

Right, for sure, for sure. Um, you know, I love that because that's even a you know a great thought for me because you know, with the with she ignites, it's you know, some people look at it as a candle company, but I know I was having this conversation with my husband the other night. That's not what I am. I am at the heart, you know, a support of women in learning to speak their own voice, to use their own truth, and I use scent to assist with that and to create experiences around that. And so I'm not necessarily the person that I want to come to mind, oh my gosh, I need to go buy an amazing smelling candle because I want them to experience what is in the front of that, right? Um, now of course my candles do smell amazing, but of course, you know, it's definitely, I love the idea of be uh that you said be crystal clear on one thing and then you know build around it to make sure that your your offers and um you know everything that you're sharing matches those same values.

Redefining Success And Getting Quiet

SPEAKER_01 29:41

So when we talk about success, you know, that can look different to everyone. And depending upon what role you're in, that can look different. So is there a specific belief around success that you had to unlearn?

SPEAKER_00 29:59

Oh, yes. Uh man, that's that is a good question. So I kind of mentioned it earlier, you know, we all have the I feel like imposter syndrome and the we look at what other people have and we have to be like them, or there's the keeping up with the Joneses mentality. And for me, the way that I've had to redefine success was not even necessarily in terms of what amount of money is in my bank account. It was a lot more of this. It's how do I feel in my life, in my body, in my health, in my marriage, in my friendships. Because if I'm not okay with what's going on in here and in here, it doesn't matter if I have a million dollars in my bank account. If I'm not happy and I'm not at peace, no amount of external wealth or accolades are going to do that. And I feel like, again, especially as women, we have a lot of pressure to look a certain way, to act a certain way, to dress with the brands, to go to all the bougie, you know, resorts and gyms. And no, again, what are your values? What's important to you? How is it important that you show up? And then your job, your career, your marriage, your family, those are just ways in which you get to live your calling out. I don't truly believe that we each have like one crystal clear thing that like we have to do, or else we're living out of alignment. It's really, how are you the conduit or how is your business? Like you said, the candle is the conduit, right? Like, how does what you do get to be the conduit for the mission or the value that you choose to bring to those around you? I happen to do that through my business now. I did it through my corporate job before. If I ever am not in my business, or even if I'm in a volunteer role, or I'm in my friendships, or I'm in my marriage, or I'm in a relationship with my family, I'm still the same faith. It's just I'm showing up in a different role, but the same values, the same love, the same care is going to come out. It's just a different aspect of that piece of me is going to come out.

SPEAKER_01 32:12

I love that. So when we have, you know, lived life conditioned to override ourselves. How do we how do we start listening inward again? And I know that you had mentioned the audit, you know, to see where it is that we, you know, feel like we're in flow and where we're depleted. But I have had so many conversations with women that like they truly just they have no idea. They don't remember who they were before someone told them who they were supposed to be. So do you have anything specific that you know you can suggest to those women to help them reconnect with themselves?

SPEAKER_00 32:51

Yeah. Um, the biggest thing I would say is you got to get quiet. And as someone who is neurodivergent and my brain is a constant cluster of things going on, busyness and noise and chaos distract us and confuse us. And so the times that I have the most clarity is when I'm the most quiet. And whatever your spiritual beliefs are, and however you connect with your inner self, whatever higher power you believe is out there, I know when in when I start my mornings in quiet time and devotion and in journaling and in like grounding myself for the day. That is typically where my deepest emotions, creativity, and like inspirations come from. The days that I don't build in that time for grounding and quiet are the days, like honestly, today was one of those days. I was getting back into the flow of work after I had my conference last week. And I just got into the flow of work this morning and forgot to have my quiet time this morning because I was on vacation the last couple of days. So like I didn't have a schedule, right? And I got to about 10 o'clock and I sat there. I was like, have I had quiet time this morning? And the answer was no. So I drove to the bank. I had to go to the bank to get something, and I literally just drove in silence, which for a lot of people is really uncomfortable, including me. And I was just talking to myself. And I, you know, was I was praying and I was meditating. I was just thinking about what do I need from this day? What, how can I show up for this day? And when I tell you my anxiety levels from when I got into the car and my 10-minute car ride later, when I got out, I was a completely different person because there wasn't all the noise going on in my head. I had a way to express it. So that would be my challenge to people is to find time every day where you can be quiet. And when you first get started, 60 seconds is going to feel like an eternity. But then it gets easier and easier and easier. And that doesn't mean you can't talk. Like I'm an auditory processor, so I talk to myself out loud, but there's no external simulate. There's no music. My notifications are off. I'm not on the phone. Like I'm literally just sitting with myself. And that will help to start kind of tapping into those deeper levels that the noise and chaos confuse us with.

SPEAKER_01 35:28

And silence is uncomfortable for a lot of people. And especially if it goes on for very long. But I I believe that making ourselves uncomfortable by going through that is what actually gets to the, you know, to our soul, you know, desires or needs, whatever it is. So, you know, I love that you shared that. I'm a big, big podcast listener. And so that's typically what I do in the mornings on my way to work and on my way home. And there are just days where I'm like, you know, I have been overstimulated today. I need to decompress. I'm turning everything off. And I'm the same way. I have those um, you know, out loud conversations with myself. And um, you know, how whatever works for you, um, you know, that's how that's how you need to do it for sure. And, you know, I love that you shared that because I also am obviously very big with the journaling and writing. And, you know, to me, journaling doesn't have to be like this perfect paper. It used to be, I used to have a really hard time with this. Like if I wrote in a journal and I made a mistake because I always want to do it in a pen, if I made a mistake, I would have to start the whole journal over because I couldn't have the mistake in the journal. And there are only certain things that I am that um present-minded about when it comes to something that's cluttered or messy. And but like, why is it like that? Like, I have so many wasted journals in my crazy because for some reason, and now I'm like, you know what? It doesn't matter. No one's gonna see this but me. No, does it matter? They're not, and even if someone is gonna see it, and it, you know, this gets back to the perfection piece of how we sometimes think we need to present ourselves. And I have a booth at a vendor space, like a vendor mall type thing. And I was so proud of this beautiful sign that I created to go on the side of my um booth that explained what she ignites is all about, you know, because I'm not there, it's a standing space and I can't explain it to anyone. And so it had been there for a month or two, and um, I had sent a photo of it, of the sign and my booth to another business owner that is actually in there in the same space, and they they came back immediately and said, Do you realize that you spelled a word wrong in that? And so the word instant, there was not a T on the end, it was a D. And I'm like, How did I not catch that? Because I'm a good proofreader. And then I'm like, Well, how did the the person that printed it for me not get, even though it's not their responsibility, right? I sent them the file, but then I'm like, I got all anxious about it, and I'm like, you know what? Release it. I who cares? I mean, it's obvious what the word is supposed to be. I I could spend $100 and and print it again, but I'm not. I'm gonna leave it there because that is proof that we don't have to be perfect to share our message. Yes, and I want to live that out as an example. And so, you know, now I'm not saying that when I go there and I see it, that's not the first place my eyes go, but I am pushing myself to just leave it there so that this is the example. Um but you know, that's when we come back to confidence, right? And I I have uh another question for you here about confidence.

Confidence Comes From Reps

SPEAKER_01 38:59

Would you say that it is built through action or alignment first?

SPEAKER_00 39:04

I think you have to do the thing first. It comes from repetition. Like I give the example, like I you can give me a microphone and I'll speak on just about anything nowadays. But three, four years ago, it was not that case, right? Like I would still get really, really anxious when I would have to go up and speak and I'd have to practice my presentation six or seven times, and I would be afraid that I'm gonna stumble over my words. I was afraid to be on camera, even though I would literally get paid at my job to go and speak in front of people. And then when it was my brain, I'm like, I can't do this, I can't do this. And then you want to know what happened? The more I did it, the easier it became, the more confident. And behind the scenes, even when I was not at my most confident, people would still be like, oh my gosh, Faith, your speech really touched me. You seem so poised and confident. No one else can see what's going on in here. Only you can. And so, you know, momentum is built through action. It's not built through thought. And so if you have something you're trying to get better at and you just think, I need to get better at this, nothing's gonna change. Like nothing happens until you do something about it. So maybe it's you want to get become a better speaker, you want to get more um, you know, better at your podcast or social media or whatever the thing is that you want to get better at, you're never going to do it until you start practicing it. Like I always think about professional athletes, right? Like, no matter how much skill they were born with, they had to put in thousands and thousands and thousands of hours. Like I've had this conversation with my husband, he's a resident physician. And I asked him, like, why are residencies like the length that they are? And he's like, Because you have to do something for 10,000 hours before you become an expert. And he said, if you like calculate out for residencies, you know, how many hours they spend over the three to five to seven years, it's about 10,000 hours. I was like, oh my gosh, that makes so much sense. And so what are you wanting to work towards your 10,000 hours to become an expert on? And the more you do it, the more confident you become. I'm sure with you, Carrie, the first time that you hopped on and recorded your podcast, you probably didn't know what questions to ask. You probably had no idea what you were doing, but you're like, I'm gonna do this thing. And now you just said it's one of your favorite things every week to do. But if you would have let your fear stop, do then we wouldn't be having this conversation today. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 41:29

Absolutely. Okay, so you have just shared so much information. And, you know, we met through a little conference that we that um a friend of ours hosted, and it was so amazing. And I have connected with so many people from there that I've still maintain those relationships. And that's one of my favorite things about women in business, right? Because we can um support one another and bounce ideas off of one another and learn from one another, most importantly, right? Exactly. And, you know, one of the things that I I love, I used to not feel this way, but and I think that was because I had um it was a confidence issue that you know, you always you never want to be the smartest person in the room. Yeah. And, you know, I used, like I said, I used to not feel that way because I wanted to at least be the smartest or at least with equal people, right? Yeah. Because I didn't want to feel less than. And the the more that I have, you know, come into conferences and stuff like this, I'm like, oh, bring me all the smartest people, you know. Yes, I want all those people to be there because I want to learn and I want to grow. And um, you know, so leading from that, I want you to tell me about your business.

What Faith’s Consulting Offers

SPEAKER_01 42:43

Um, you know, what it is that you do to help women have and men. You may work with both. And, you know, of course, the majority of our listeners are women, but they also have men in their lives that have businesses or, you know, are teachers or whatever it might be that could um utilize your services. So what does it look like to work with you? What are your offers? And just share anything about that that you would like to.

SPEAKER_00 43:08

Sure. So one of the things I always like to start with is our name because people are like, Faith, what does it mean? It's very unique. So Alo Civitas Consulting, that's how you say it. Like I always say like Aloe Vera. So Alo Civitas Consulting is Latin for nourishing communities. And that's really at the heart of everything that we do. All of the services and programming that we offer is really uh built around that nourishment. And we believe that when you build strong foundations, that that's really how you grow organizations, communities, people, leaders, right? So we have to start from here and work our way out. And what that really looks like in practicality is um a couple of different service offerings that we have. So we work with um leaders of small businesses, community organizations, and nonprofits. Really, to me, it's about what are the values of the leader that we work with, not necessarily the size or scale. Or type of organization. And we work with them in three main ways: uh professional development, strategy, and funding. So, what that looks like to work with us is typically if people really want some strategy, maybe they're starting a business, they're growing an organization, they want to know, you know, Faith, I have a goal, but I have no idea how to get there. I always like to tell people I'm like your GPS. You know the end destination, but I kind of help you figure out how to get there. And so there's a couple of different ways that I work with people in that. Um, some people just want once-a-month call where we kind of map out your strategy and you do all the implementation. Um, other people want a little bit more intense hand holding, which is totally fine. I was that way, especially at the beginning, where it's a mix of we meet, you do some, I do some. And then there's some that you're like, I literally have no time to do this, just do it all for me. So I have three different tiers in which I help people. It's just consulting, we do it together, or I do it, slash my team does it all for you. And that can be through, you know, your strategy if you're not really sure how to grow or how to get to your goal. If you are a nonprofit or a business that wants to offer services that can be funded through grants, again, do you want us to just consult you on how to do the things? Do you want us to help you or do you want us to do it for you? Um, and then lastly is our professional development. So obviously, like I've mentioned a couple of times, I do host my own events. I do a lot of paid professional speaking, custom professional developments. Um, and the areas in which I'm really passionate about speaking about are burnout prevention, um, genuine and sustainable leadership, uh, funding and partnership development for organizations. Um, and then also my background, if I'm kind of going back to pre-Alo Civitas, my background is in human development. And so I do still get a lot of people who reach out to me that they want trainings on social emotional development, on child development, on supporting educators, supporting burnout prevention for folks. I did a lot of work in burnout prevention during COVID for first responders, medical staff, teachers, child care providers. And so that's still very much at the core of what we do. I actually am working on some trainings for that this week. But because we do so much, um, again, that red thread through everything that we do is we build capacity for change and helping organization leaders build the sustainable success that they desire. Uh, and so the best way to figure out what that could look like for your organization is to reach out to me. Um, I am not a sales person by nature. My true desire is to understand what you need, give you a couple of solutions if you want to work with us. And if I'm not a good fit, I have a lot of people in my network that I'm happy to connect you to. But the biggest thing is having the answers and figuring out what is your best next step. And then you get to make that decision. So, best ways to connect with me are through our website, alacevitas.com, um, or on Facebook and Instagram at Alacevitas. I'm also on LinkedIn under Faith Rivera. Um, or you can go to our website and send me a little message, send me an email, and would love to be able to connect with any of your listeners if you tell me that you connect with me through Carrie's show. Um, I will have a special $25 off offer for any of the services that you take advantage of with us.

SPEAKER_01 47:18

That's amazing. But thank you for that.

SPEAKER_00 47:21

Of course.

SPEAKER_01 47:22

Um, I I know that, you know, there are so many um, you know, ways that you can help people. And, you know, I have said this on the last couple interviews that I have done. I am a I'm a lurker when it comes to social media. Even though I know the importance of engagement with because of my own business, I watch and um, you know, I take the stuff in, but I don't always comment. And I need to do better at that because I know that people with businesses need to know when something resonates and when they've made a change in someone's life or even just made someone think, oh, wait a minute, you know, that's a great idea. I could implement that. Um, and so I need to do better at that. But I know that through watching, I'm on Instagram more than anything else, other than TikTok. And, you know, I really watching your, you know, your content, it's you have a wealth of information to to help people and I true in a lot of different ways. You know, you have um you serve so many varieties of people, and I think that that's amazing. And um, you should definitely reach out to her to have a conversation about how she might be able to help you. Two more questions.

Mastermind, Newsletter, And Next Conference

SPEAKER_01 48:42

Okay. What um first of all, are do you have any um new trainings or anything like that that you have coming up?

SPEAKER_00 48:51

Yes, thank you for that question because I almost forgot. So there's a couple things on the horizon. Um, definitely make sure if I think you can do it through the link on our Instagram bio, but we have a free weekly newsletter called the Weekly Compass, and we talk about sustainable leadership, um, organizational development. Sometimes my human development background comes in and we talk about different psychological theories. Um, but that is the best way to keep up with anything and everything that we're doing other than our social media. Um, and so we'll be releasing information soon about our conference in Columbus next year in July called Elevated by Design. It's going to be July 21st next year, and we'll be putting out pre-sale tickets very, very soon. So that's one thing. Make sure is on your radar, put July 21st, 2027 on your calendar now. Make your way to Columbus. It's going to be incredible. Um, and then the second piece um is something that I have been hearing from business owners and leaders alike. Um, it's something that my FCO and good friend of mine, Dominique Fajerez and I are putting together that's launching at the end of June. It is called the Soul Nourished Success Mastermind. And it takes the head and heart of organizational and business development and really helps give you a framework and a pathway for building your organization to the level of your dreams and goals without sacrificing your well-being in the process. So we do a couple of assessments at the beginning to really understand how you're uniquely wired, what are, um, how are you uniquely supposed to show up in the world, and then help you build a framework for how to operate your business that aligns within those areas so that you not only can show up as your best self as the leader, but then we build in your data dashboards. We build in um what kind of success should you be tracking? What systems and behind the scenes things do you need, as well as how do you show up for you and build self-care into the process? So that launches June 21st. Um, through the links on my social media, there is a landing page for you'll hear me refer to it as SNS, but Soliner Success. Um, and we are starting to take applications for organization leaders that know that they need some extra support to continue to grow. We um I we spoke of this in the conference last week. Um, but one of the things that stood out to me the most was um as we were building the curriculum and as we were building everything, is um education without implementation is just expensive entertainment.

unknown 51:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:22

And I was like, Yes, I love it. I said that as I was building it. I was like, oh my gosh, that is so good. So education without implementation is just expensive entertainment. And so that is my challenge to each of your listeners today is like, where do you need to not only take the information, but then implement it, whether it's with me and my team or someone else, but where's that area that you haven't been showing up for yourself? Um, and you you need that little extra nudge.

SPEAKER_01 51:48

I love it. That sounds amazing. And I know, you know, you come from a nonprofit world too, and I have done a lot of work in that um environment as well. And um, I have a lot of friends that run nonprofits, and like you can burn yourself out so much because it's all for the good. And um, you know, a lot of times there's not a lot of funding involved. And so you are wearing far too many hats to be able to sustain your own energy. And um, so I I it sounds like an amazing um, you know, offer that you have coming out that would be so beneficial to um people, especially in that um side of things. So, do you have anything else that you would like to share? You know, I'll put all of your links and everything in the show notes so that people know where to find you, you know, but anything else that you would like to share before I ask you my, you know, two final questions.

SPEAKER_00 52:43

Okay. So I always like to make sure I say these little pointers because that I also need to hear them. Um, I mentioned this one earlier, but not every yes is a good yes. Uh, Rust is productive too. I literally, the reel that I put on Instagram today said self-care is productive too, because it is. And self-care is also a business and leadership development strategy. You cannot give from an empty cup. And so if you are constantly on empty, no one else is better off. You're actually being selfish by not taking care of yourself because then everyone else around you is worse off and you feel like crap in the process.

SPEAKER_01 53:22

Yes, yes, absolutely. I love those um little nuggets. We need shirts that say that, don't we?

SPEAKER_00 53:29

It's in it it's in here.

SPEAKER_01 53:31

We're working on it. There you go. There

Try One New Thing Monthly

SPEAKER_01 53:34

you go. We all love a graphic tea, don't we?

unknown 53:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 53:38

So is there um, you know, is there one message that you could give to the listeners today, um, you know, especially the women that, you know, are feeling maybe a nudge to do something for themselves, but they feel guilty about it or they are fearful about it, whether it's just, you know, going to a class of something that you want to learn or starting a new hobby or starting a business, whatever it is, what message would you give them if they're kind of in that, you know, middle space where they're they're just not sure of themselves yet?

SPEAKER_00 54:16

Yeah, I I mean I go back to the you cannot get from an empty cup. I think we as women are almost like memorialized for not taking care of ourselves, which is absolutely disgusting to me. Because what message are we giving our kids? Like if you're a parent, like what message are you giving your children? It like what message are you giving your spouse and your friends and everyone else around you if like you aren't showing up for yourself? It shows that you don't value yourself. Therefore, you should not expect other people to value you either. I think when I started looking at self-care from that lens of like it's taking care of me, and then I can also take care of other people. It's like when, you know, the thing drops from the mask drops in the airplanes that tell you to put your own mask on before you can help other people. Like, if you have nothing left to give, you literally have nothing left to give. You can't give from an empty cup. So that would be my biggest recommendation to any of your listeners is like if you have that nudging to do something fun, do something creative to pour back into yourself, just try it. If you hate it, then you can do something else. Like you're not stuck to that thing forever. Like, go do the workout class, go take the 45-minute walk, go walk the dog, go call your friend. Like we spend so much time focused on other people that we get to the end of the day, the end of the week, the end of the month. And we just sit back and think, like, what did I actually do for me this month or this week? And to me, if I can't answer that question, like I feel icky because I'm like, I deserve to take care of me too. My life is not just one to take care of other people's problems. Like I was also given this life to take care of me too.

SPEAKER_01 55:51

Right, right. And one thing I love that you said that, you know, if you don't like that class, you know, it's okay. Because I think a lot of us think, you know, well, if I'm gonna join this gym or I'm gonna, you know, take start painting, that you know, if if there's something that you don't like, it's okay to change it. Yeah, you know, you're you're discovering yourself in a new stage of life. And it's okay to pivot and shift and you know, try 10 new things until you find something that you absolutely love and that like fills your heart and your cup, as you said.

SPEAKER_00 56:21

Yeah, my one of my friends gave me the challenge, and I challenge your listeners this too is every month, if you can't devote to every day or every week, is once a month, challenge yourself to trying at least one new new thing. Maybe it's a new class, you try a new recipe, you do something new with your friends. Um, my husband and I actually got little like scratch off date things that we do, we try to do once a month where it has everything planned for us. We just have to do the thing if we can't be creative and come up with something new. But I challenge you is to like, what is one new fun thing that you can do this month? And if you hate it, don't ever do it again. But at least you can say you tried something new and what did you experience or learn in the process?

SPEAKER_01 57:03

Yes. So I know it's the beginning of a new month, so we're only four days in. But tell me something new you did for yourself last month. Or this month, if you had something new already.

SPEAKER_00 57:17

Something new was the conference last month. Um, even though it wasn't technically for me, it was something brand new. Um, and I was very proud of myself for putting it together. Um, but in the month of May, something new that I am doing for myself is I'm actually trying out a couple of new workout classes. Um, I'm actually doing one this week. It's a uh heated Pilates class. So I'm excited to see what that looks like. Um, and then I'm also getting back to my no-meeting Wednesdays. I was really good about that for a while and used that as like just my day if I needed to run errands. I'm getting back into my book writing. Um I finished a chapter for someone else's book and now I'm turning that chapter into a whole full-fledged book that I want out by the end of the year. So I'm going back to Wednesdays being my creative days. And I think that's new because I haven't done it in a couple months. Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 58:14

So what mine was, um, I took a today is Monday, right? Yeah. Saturday, I took a bonsai class. I don't even know what that is. So, like the bonsai trees. Um I went to um, so we have a place here. It's it's called the Amputee Center, and it is a place that um assists amputees with um physical therapy, exercise classes. They have like bungee classes and like all kinds of different things, but they offer classes to the community and the community like so. I paid for my bonsai class, and then the funds that they make from those classes go to um giving the amputees free services. Um, so it's a beautiful mission. Um I love that. I love plants and um bonsai trees, they're just fascinating to me. Long story short, I used to go to this place um in North Carolina when we would vacation, and there was this gentleman that had this large home and he grew and designed bonsai trees. So I would buy one when I went there and I would bring it home, and it would be dead by the time I went back the next year. So I would get another one to replace it and come home. So when I saw that this class was going to be, and we have a bonsai club in the community where I live. And so when I saw the class, I'm like, I have to do this. So it was the coolest thing. We started out with this like bulky little tree, and we trimmed it to be how we wanted, and we wrapped it with wire, and you know, the the people from the club were teaching us how to care for them, and it was just the most fun thing. And so that's something new that I did for myself. I love it. I even stepped a little further into that, and I knew no one that was going. I went on my own without um like asking, I mean, I invited a few people, but no one went, and I still went. And that's something that I struggle with a little bit. So I was very proud of myself for that. And I had a blast, and I have a beautiful tree. So I love the idea and the challenge to do something new every month. Um, so my final question for you is one of my favorites that I ask everyone. So at She Ignites, we have a playlist. And the question is what is your hype song or the anthem that you play when you need to channel your fiercest self? Yes. So I love to ask this question because it's such a variety of music that women share with me. And it's now lives in this um playlist on Spotify that um I wish the link is in the comments of the show. Um, but what song will I add to that playlist for Faith?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:08

So my like hype song is probably a very interesting one. Um, it is Champion by Carrie Underwood and Ludacris. Yes, I love it. I love that song so much. Like if I'm having a bad day or I, you know, just am feeling down on myself, especially when it ludicrous gets to like his rap start where he's saying out the letters. I'm like, yes, I've got this. I probably have listened to that way too loud and way too many times. I I probably could quote every word by now, but that would be my song.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:41

I love it. I love it. That's perfect. And I don't think that one's on the list yet. Yeah, yeah. I don't think so. And that's that's what surprises me is like some people will give me a second song. Like, I can't decide between the two, these two songs. So I'm just gonna give you two. And you know, I'll allow that, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:58

But I'm sure I have others. That one is just the first one you send it to your hype song. I'm like, yes, I got it.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:03

Absolutely, absolutely. But the first song that is shared with me has never has never been one that someone else has shared with me that's on the list, which surprises me a great deal. Um, and I love it because it just shows the you know, the difference in what we need to like hype us up, so to speak. So I will add that to the playlist this evening. And um again, it'll be in the show notes. And I just want to thank you so much for talking with me today and finally the two of us getting together to have this conversation. It was long overdue and it was amazing. And I know that um, you know, the listeners out there are going to take so much away from it. And I just appreciate your time.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:47

Thank you so much, Carrie, for creating this space to have the conversation today.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:51

Oh, thank you. Well, that's it for today, babe. But your fire is just getting started. If you're feeling lit up, go ahead and hit subscribe, leave a spicy little review, and tag me at GIIgnights Candleco so I can hype you up. Remember, the world doesn't need a quieter version of you. It needs the bold, blazing, fully expressed view. Until next time, keep glowing, keep going, and never, ever damn your damn light.