To Mash Up Or Not: How To Choose Your First Dance Song | Ep 39

In today's episode I discuss the reasons you may opt for a mash up when it comes to your First Dance and the things you need to consider if going down this route. 

I also cover the things to consider when choosing your song in general and how the First Dance is setting the tone for the rest of the evening so should be given as much thought and preparation as the rest of the wedding 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Hello and welcome back. So for those of you that are watching the video version of this podcast, you will notice a different background again. It is very hot still in the UK, so it's too hot to be recording this from the normal office. So yeah, I am from the kitchen. AirPods in again for microphone because there's just not enough space to have my normal setup. So I will get back to the better setup soon. But I also deliberately, when I kind of got back in the flow of this podcast, um put the pressure off myself for it having to be perfect because it is just me. Um I am not doing any fancy tech, any editing. It is kind of real and roll. Um so yeah, unfortunately, you will have to put up with some dodgy episodes. Um, but over time it'll get better, I promise. Um so today's episode, let's just crack on. Um so today's episode is all about first dance and choosing your song or songs. Um so I am currently working with a couple and they decided to go for a mashup. And their reason being they liked the songs that they've chosen and they couldn't really nail down one song. Um, they wanted it to be fun, but they also wanted to show that they had learned something. So a mashup was perfect for this. And I said this to them in their recent lesson that actually they'd got the right balance. Um mashups can very, very easily become too long, but they can also become too short. Um each track is the right length, they've had it professionally done, so the blends are just chef's case perfect, and they're really clear, so they they can really spend the time to listen and get those transitions in their head and it not be jarring. So for them, it's the perfect length, and that is something I always say. If you are gonna go for a mashup, one get it professionally edited, it's going to elevate your routine, your thing, um, if you get it done properly, because you've got to get the right bit of the song. The the transitions can be a bit jarring. Um I did music editing at uni, and whilst I can do a bit, I absolutely would recommend anyone to go and get it done. Don't don't hire me to do your music editing because it will be a bit it will be a bit jarring. Um, so that's the first thing. The second thing is you've really got to be clear on why you're doing a mashup and how much of each track. So one of their tracks is about three minutes, but actually it works for them because part way through that particular track, their guests are joining them. So you've also got to think of that for a mashup. That are your guests joining you or are you doing something for the whole thing, which will dictate the amount of songs? Um, I have done a mashup in the past, which was about 10 minutes. But again, it kind of worked because they had enough of your typical song. Then they went into a few other tracks. So they had Grease, um, Barbie Girl, a few others, but some of them were only really short. So it was like, oh, I've done a little bit on to the next one. So it again, it kind of worked. Um, but it is something that you have to really consider, and it is something that I do cover in my book. So if you haven't noticed, haven't heard me talk about it, I have a book that helps you prepare for your first dance. And one of the main sections in there is how to come up with a song because traditionally couples would always have their song, and that's not necessarily the case anymore. Couples kind of might have a particular style, they might like a variety. Um, I know me and my other half, we often have this conversation of what would our song be? Because we have so many that we say is our song, and naturally there's going to be an expectation that we do a routine with what I've spent the last 10 years doing. So it comes with that, oh, there's a lot of pressure for our first dance. So getting back on track, kind of I'm not saying don't do a mashup, but be really super, super clear what tracks, how much of each track, get it professionally edited. Um, and be mindful of your guests, because at the end of the day, they are just stood watching. Um, they'll probably be swaying along a little bit, but they are essentially just watching. It's because it's a it's a performance moment, um, which is why people have lessons because they don't want to be in the spotlight, but they want to feel more confident in that moment in the spotlight. Um, when their fight or flight mode um is kicked in and they've gone, can I hide? Um, but choosing a song is hard. Um it is hard because, like I say, not everyone has a song these days. Um I have had couples who have picked a song just because they like it. It's got a bit of everything, so it starts off slow, gets a bit more upbeat, has a more natural progression for bringing the guests in. Because if you're not planning to bring your guests in for you two dancing, you've also got to think of the song that's following on that will get them dancing. Because this is essentially the start of the wedding reception. So you've possibly cut the cake first, your evening guests have now arrived, you are obviously now married. Um, this is the start of your wedding reception, and the last thing you want to happen is everyone to watch your dance and then go to the bar, and you've got an empty dance floor. And no matter how good your DJ is, that's really hard on the DJ to suddenly try and fill the dance floor. So you've got to have that in mind. And whether you're having choreograph lessons or not, um, and even if you're having lessons, it doesn't have to be to have a routine, it can just be how to hold, how to sway to the music, because we don't dance together anymore. So suddenly having to hold each other, we suddenly go, actually, how do I hold you? Um, how do we move in tune together? That can be really hard. So some couples do just have a lesson to get comfortable with that. So it doesn't have to be a choreographed routine necessarily. Um, couples tend to start like that and then end up going, actually, can we learn something? And they've ended up with a routine, but it's not always their starting point, and not everyone does, not everyone does. Um where is I going? Yeah, you've just got to think that it is essentially a performance moment. Um it's gotta be you, it's gotta be comfortable, but but you do have to think of your guests in that moment because if they're bored, they walk off, they go to the bar, and you have an empty dance floor. So use the first dance to set the tone for your wedding reception. So, and that's why it's hard, and that's why people go for a mashup, because then they don't have to worry too much about the following song because the guests are already on the dance floor, the DJ can can judge from your mashup and blend the perfect song in and make sure that you start the night with a full dance floor because there is nothing worse. You've gone off for some air, maybe some final evening photos, and you come back in and you've got an empty dance floor, and you've paid a lot of money for that. So set the tone. You've set the tone throughout all of your wedding with your colour scheme, with your timings, speeches, different things. The evening is no different. Just because, yeah, you've now got people that weren't there for the daytime, fine. But set the tone for everyone, set the expectation that you want the dance floor filled by choosing the right songs and being really clear on your DJ. Kind of do your research on your DJing, look at their reviews, their social media, um, go to your wedding fairs, and and there sometimes is more than one DJ. So do your research. Um you're not having a DJ, but you're going for a band, same thing. Make sure that they can fill a dance floor. And most guests want to be able to put a request in. If you've gone for a band, can they play anything that a guest comes up with? That's something to consider. Um, and everyone will have a list of things that absolutely can't get played. So as and when I get married, there will be certain artists that are on the do not play. Under any circumstances, do not play these artists for our own reasons. But there are certain songs that we're just like, you know what? No, we don't want these playing at our wedding. You may love that song, and at certain times we love that song too, and that artist. But on what will be a very emotional day for me for personal reasons, there are certain artists that I will be banning. And any of our friends and family that do listen to this podcast, this is a forewarning for when it happens. There are certain artists that are banned no matter what. Um, I know the DJ that I will be having, and I know that if it's on the band list, they won't play it. No matter how much you pester them, they will not play something that is on our band list. And that's the other thing. You you are well within your right to turn around to your DJ or band and say, if they are accepting requests and say, okay, great, accept requests. However, we have these styles, these genres, artists, or even a particular song from an artist that we do not want played ever, no matter what. Fine. And your DJ can turn around and say no to your guests and say, I'm really sorry, we're not allowed to play that one. And if your guests have an issue with it, then why are they at the wedding? So there's lots to think about when it comes to music. Um, and like I say, I cover it a lot more in my book. So go and buy the book. I will I will link it in the show notes. Um, I think I also covered it in the mini course version of the book, because I know not everyone likes reading a book. Some people like a kind of a more visual, so this kind of talking to camera type thing. Um, so there's some little videos as well, if you are more inclined that way. So I'm gonna start bringing more of the book into the podcast, um, in the hope that you then go and buy the book. Um, because I have been listening to my good friends Taz and Asher on the um Awesomely Off Topic podcast, who have just celebrated a year of their podcast. Like that's just incredible. And Taz was saying that she has a book that she feels a bit kind of she doesn't talk about it a lot. And I realize that I very rarely talk about my book. So I'm excited to talk about my book a lot more because I put a lot of time and effort into that, helping you prepare for your first dance because I understand and get it that not everyone will want lessons. Not everyone is in a position, they might want lessons, but they're not in a position financially for their budget to have the lessons. Um not everyone that comes across me is local to me. As much as we've got online, they're not they they want the in-person. And it's also a big thing to trust someone that you don't know into your safe space. So I've created a book to help you. So, like I say, I will be dropping the book in the show notes so that you can go and check it out. And you can get me in a little book version, and it covers everything from your dress, your shoes, the room layout, songs. I've even put some little tutorials in there. So if you want to learn some little steps, there are some tutorials in there. There's a quiz to help you work out kind of your song style, your dance style, a few checklists, kind of you name it, it's in there. And if it's not, drop me a line and I'll do version two. Um so that was today's kind of how to think and how to choose your song. And it's it's being mindful of your guests, it's choosing something that means something to you and your other half. Listen to the words. Because a lot of love songs are actually about breakups or about death. So listen to the words and make sure that there's something that you want to have played at your wedding, particularly if you like a song that isn't in English, check the translation. Um, because I have had couples that have done songs and then realize that it's actually about death. And they were okay with that because for them it had a different meaning, but they had the good thing is they had considered it. So when I turned to them and said, You do realize the actual meaning behind this song, it wasn't a surprise. Because they were already aware of the actual meaning of the song, but it had a different meaning to them, so that's why they'd chosen it for their best dance. So you do have to think of the meanings, but like I say, you do also have to think of your guests because it is a performance. Um get them involved, get them involved as much as you can, whether that's doing a minute on your own and getting them in, um of a party vibe, whatever it is, but it is setting the tone for the rest of the evening. So it should have, in my opinion, as much thought as every other part of your wedding. Because I guarantee your guests will remember that more than your colour scheme. Then your food, they'll kind of remember the food, but kind of decor. Um there was a stat that I used to share years ago, and I'm gonna I'm gonna leave you on this one, but there was a stat that I used to share, and I I need to get back into sharing it again. 80% of brides a week after their wedding wish they'd spent more on entertainment than anything else. 80%, which is just insane. So give your first dance as much thought as every other element of your wedding. It is okay to skip your first dance and not do one, but give it some thought before you just go, I'm not gonna bother. Because why are you deciding I'm not gonna bother? So, again, 80% of brides a week after their wedding wish they'd spent more money on entertainment than anything else. Do not have regrets about your wedding. And if you've got any questions, reach out and let me know. So until next time, let's move.