EP 25: Four Recent Lessons That Have Changed Everything

This one came through in tea ceremony. I sat down with my journal, looked at the notes I'd been collecting over the last few weeks, and this episode just poured out of me. It's a solo one and it's probably one of the most personal things I've shared in a while.

I'm walking you through four significant lessons that have genuinely improved my life recently - the kind of stuff that sounds simple and hits different when you actually start living it.

The first is social media boundaries and how creating a morning and evening routine that doesn't involve a screen has completely changed my sleep, my nervous system and my mental health. I share exactly what my routine looks like now and what it used to look like - and spoiler, it was not great.

The second is authenticity as the vehicle to self-love. I talk about growing up as a chubby kid who lost nine kilos at 12 on a diet of apples and salad just to get people to like her, why I got a boob job, and why I'm getting it taken out in December. This one gets personal.

The third is giving back 0 and how finding ways to be of service, whether it's picking up rubbish on your walk or smiling at a stranger, is one of the most direct pathways to feeling fulfilled.

And the fourth is health. What came up in my last ayahuasca journey, why I'm now on a physical detox journey, and why I genuinely believe that we need to start paying more attention to what we're putting on and in our bodies before it catches up with us.

This one's honest, a little raw, and I hope it lands for you. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey there, welcome back to the Elvolve podcast where we have interesting and insightful conversations. This is a solo app, and I am so excited about the episode today. By the way, my cat or my kind of foster cat here in Costa Rica, she's just decided to start nibbling on some bickies. So if you can hear that in the background, that's what's going on. And hopefully the mics don't pick it up too much. But anyway, I was sitting in tea ceremony this morning, and I've had so many incredible insights and ideas and podcast inspiration to come through. And this morning, when I was sitting there, I was like, okay, I definitely want to film a podcast this morning. What am I gonna what am I gonna talk about? And I started like going through my journal and looking at the different ideas that I'd written down over the last few weeks, and immediately something brand new just came through to me. And it's some lessons, some lessons that I've learned recently, and I'd love to share them with you and just kind of chat through some growth that I've been going through, and maybe it'll it'll be inspiring for you in some way, or maybe you'll learn something from it for yourself, you know. So, okay, this pod is about some significant lessons that I've learned recently, which has absolutely improved my life. So the first one that I want to talk about is social media and in particular having boundaries with social media. Okay, I don't know about you, that any time I've spent oh mate, even just over 15 minutes doom scrolling, even just on Instagram, like I notice a crazy difference in how I feel. I even observe that my breathing gets a little bit more shallow, start to feel fucking anxious and stressed, in particular because they're like my algorithm at least has a lot of like political stuff happening in there, both like within Australia and like globally. So I I've noticed for myself at least, allowing that kind of stuff to have access to me is affecting how I feel in the day-to-day, right? So I've created some boundaries, and let me tell you, it's really made an incredible difference in how I feel overall. So typically, you probably know this already. I mean, I feel like I've spoken about this a lot, or maybe I just speak about it a lot when it comes to like my private clients and group coaching. I think it's so important to have a morning and evening routine. And very simply, it's just important to fill up your cup and replenish your cup before you fill up anybody else's or do anything, and after you've done all of that, right? So in the morning, you're filling up your cup, you're doing something nice for yourself, something nourishing for your whole system. And then at the end of the day, after you've been pouring out into everyone and everything around you, you replenish your cup, right? Now, this is also super important and um amazing for your nervous system as well. Because life is go, go, go, man. We live in a in a we live in a society where we're constantly on and we're constantly plugged in. And the information that we're being fed, a lot of it is, you know, blanketed in fear. And so social media is a bit crazy in the sense that you'll be scrolling and you'll be like, oh, cute puppy. Oh, someone proposed. That's so nice. Like, oh, look, they're on their holiday. Oh my gosh, someone's just died. Like, it's absolutely berserk the contrast that we can be exposed to on social media. And you're crazy if you think that it doesn't do something, yeah, to you and how you feel. And maybe this is just an invitation to start to notice and observe how you feel after you've spent a bit of time scrolling on social media. And it may not even be that your feed has any crazy hectic shit like mine does. You might just find yourself comparing yourself to other people and then you know, getting looped in these stories that you're behind or you're not where you should be, or you know, it's not good enough where you're at, right? So if that's what's happening for you, then I'd highly encourage and recommend you to create some boundaries like I have. And in particular, the morning and evening routine is how I've done that. So I, when it comes to bedtime, like leading up to sleep, sleep is sacred, okay? Say it with me. Sleep is sacred. And if you don't have that kind of um outlook presently, then I'd implore you to adopt it because when your sleep is good, everything gets better. Everything, right? And so sleep hygiene is really, really important, and it's something I protect like no other in my life, is my sleep routine. And so what that looks like for me specifically is come 7:30, screens gone. Screens are gone. I'm also eating early. I eat like when the sun's up. Like I try to eat, like even like 5:30. 5:30. I'm like putting my food on in the air fryer, like hitting it up at like 5 o'clock. And I'm aiming to eat by 5.30 and definitely be done by like 6.30. I want to have my food completed early. Yeah. Um, this is getting a little bit into Chinese medicine stuff, just in terms of like um the optimal time for your organs to be digesting and stuff. Like, if you're eating too close to bedtime, it's not good for you. It's not good for you. So try to eat early, and then come 7.30, or even just when the sun comes down, it's like, okay, this is the time to limit blue light exposure. So for me, it's like screens are down, screens off. I've even got some red light that I put on, and so it's just nice and dark. Yeah. And come 7:30 is typically when I start my evening routine. And so what's that look what that is looking like now? Like I said, no screens. Have a nice warm shower because warmth is great for the nervous system. A nice dark, warm shower. It's so good. You just get nice and sleepy, right? And after my shower, I use some essential oils and fractionated coconut oil to give like my legs and body a beautiful massage. And my goodness, it is the best thing you can do after a day being on screens, being at work, being a parent, whatever it is, yeah, for you to just stop and be with yourself with a nice warm cup of tea. Yeah, like I use this tea called um the daily no, wait, what's it called? The qi drink a QI chi. Anyway, I'll tag them because I love this tea and I have like a flower, it's a flower tea. Um, we're not using tea bags because they're full of microplastics, okay? So, yeah, highly recommend this beautiful flower tea. I'll tag it because it's really, really yummy. So I have a cup of that. I like set myself up in the lounge room, put a towel down, and I get the massage oil, and I have some hand pan music just playing on like the speaker, and I'm just like focusing on my breathing and just being super present with my body, yeah, in particular the sensations. So the touch on my legs, the smell that I'm smelling through the essential oils, like intentionally relaxing my body, and then the yawns start. The yawn start. I'm like, yes, it's like 8:30, and I'm super relaxed and I'm ready for bed. Slay, let's go. Okay, so I know that in the past my bedtime routine looked a little something like, all right, it's dinner. I'm gonna watch a movie while I eat dinner. Okay, the movie's still on, or an episode or something, time for dessert, and I'd have some dessert. And I'd eat, I'd stop eating at like fucking 9, 9:30. Crazy. Yeah. And then I'd be on my phone throughout that whole process as well, just like scrolling mindlessly. Yeah. And then it's bedtime. I get into bed, it's like 10:30, 11, and I'm scrolling on my phone still. Like this fucking fluorescent blue rectangles penetrating my eyes, like fucking my circadian rhythm and my melatonin production. So let me tell you, I've been there. I know that it sucks. And if you're doing it, then just give my little routine a go and see how you feel. See how you feel the next day as well. And also, yes, it's so good for like your health, which is great. It's also like, do you know what the best feeling about it is though? It's the self-pride that you feel. It's like, I know that I know that some people like, you know, um, instant gratification, but you get instant gratification from doing something amazing for yourself. It's like you're high five yourself, you're like, fuck yeah, I'm the MVP. I just like did the best thing for myself tonight. I'm so good. Like, that is the best feeling ever, right? So that has been a big one for me. And then, as well in the morning, I used to be the person that would have their phone literally like next to their pillow. Yeah, because I was scrolling until like sometimes 12 o'clock at night, scrolling away, looking at fucking Love Island reels or some shit. And then wake up in the morning, first thing, check my phone. Not good. Not good. I'd already be like in this activated, like anxious state just by getting on that screen and and scrolling first thing. Then I'd go get the pre-workout, then I'd hit the gym and smash the smash myself at the gym, and then I'd just constantly be on my phone. I was there was never a moment to just like stop and be with myself. Stop and relax my body, stop and breathe, and just slow down and connect, was just constantly plugged into something and going at this ridiculous pace. And I think that this is I think a lot of people are living their lives like this and maybe not recognizing that this is probably a big factor to why you're not feeling super amazing or why you constantly feel stimulated and your nervous system is activated, and you think you have ADHD, but you may not, you may just be spending a little bit too much time on fucking social media, and your routine could just be a little bit out of whack and your nervous system stuck in fight or flight because of that. So, you know, I think it's worth just getting curious about and trying something new on and seeing how that goes for you. Yeah, I mean, this is just my experience. Man, who am I? I'm a life coach. Anyway, yeah, I've I mean these are all changes that I've made, and fuck, it's made the biggest, biggest difference. So now in the morning, rather than going straight onto my phone, it's like, okay, what can I do for myself? I don't even actually, I unplug the internet and I have my phone out in the lounge room. I don't even have it in my bedroom anymore. And and I also have my put my phone on airplane mode as well. Because I'm like, I am important. I am top priority. My care, my sleep, my mental health, my all of that is top priority to me and the most important, right? And I communicate that through my lifestyle and through these boundaries that I've set for myself and through my morning and evening routine. Yeah, it's like I serve myself at the start of each day. Top priority. Yeah. I'm not gonna jump on my fucking phone and check emails and open up messages before I take care of myself. I need to take care of myself before I can take care of anything or anyone else. That's how the world is gonna get the best me. Do you know what I mean? And equally, like, if you're a parent and you're listening in or don't even have to be a parent, just whoever you are, like the people around you are gonna get the best you when you put yourself first. The ripple effect is fucking crazy. It's crazy. When you start pouring energy into you and you're more regulated and relaxed and happy, that ripples out to everybody in your life. Your parents, your partner, your kids, everyone. Everyone. So just play with that. See what happens. I dare you. It's so fun to watch. I see this happen with all of the people that I work with. It's unreal. It's honestly so cool. So my morning routine is like wake up, I have a big glass of water, and then I have a tea ceremony. So I sit with tea for an hour, sipping on tea, journaling, like all of like the if you're wanting to like expand your spiritual gifts. My like this has really come online for me in the last 12 months. Have a devotional practice. A lot of people say meditate, and you can meditate. And I'm personally, I know how to meditate. I've done a meditation course and like blah blah blah blah blah. But the most impactful thing for me has been sitting with tea because it is meditation, it's just that I'm kind of I have like a process to follow while I'm sitting with myself. Do you know what I mean? It's like preparing the tea, drinking the tea, breathing, relaxing, and yeah, so like the downloads have been crazy. And if downloads is a word that you're like, downloads, I mean, dude, I used to think the exact same thing. So I don't blame you. I don't blame you if you're rolling your eyes at me saying the word download. Insights, is that a better word? Ideas, inspiration, man, just the stuff that comes through for me is wild. And I've for the longest time I always said to myself, like, I really want to wish I could get downloads, I wish I could, you know, have some cool ideas and blah blah blah blah blah. But I was too busy to even I had no space for them to come through. I had no space for anything to come through because I was so fucking disconnected from myself. Because I was so plastered to this fucking fluorescent rectangle all the time, and so disconnected from myself. Sorry, really went up an octave because I'm passionate about that and it's it's it's crazy the difference that gets to unfold in your life when you disconnect from some of the distractions that you're constantly connected to, and you just connect to yourself. Now, maybe you don't want to drink tea, that's cool. What if you did some drawing or some colouring or some painting or some dancing? Like you can do you can do anything. What's something creative, what's something that you can just kind of get into flow with? Colouring's easy. Yeah? Watercolours. Um, you can meditate if you want to. And you know, personally, I just I just love tea. I also love tea because it's um all of that warm liquid is super good for your organs, like in the morning to get all your digestive fires going. Like tea tea tea tea tea. I love tea, it's changed my life in the best way ever. So those are those, that's my number one lesson, number one life enhancing lesson that I wish to impart on you. Get some fucking boundaries with your screen time and redirect that energy back into yourself. It's gonna fix your sleep, which is gonna improve every area of your life. And man, I mean, it's gonna give you so much. And yeah, highly rec highly recommend. My second, my second lesson. I'm literally just like squinting down at my paper to read what I wrote this morning. Okay, authenticity is the vehicle to happiness and self-love. Yes, okay, authenticity, just being yourself. You weren't born. You weren't, you're a fucking miracle that you're even here. You were not put on this earth to try to be something or someone other than yourself, and I see this fucking everywhere, and I did this for so many years of my life, so many years of my life. I tried to make myself different, tried to improve myself in ways that were not authentic, you know, like tried to get skinnier to be loved, try to go to boob job, maybe that'll make someone lovely love me. Like that wasn't what I that wasn't like the story I was telling myself at the time. And now when I look back, it's like I tried to change what I looked like to be loved. Because truly, like as a little kid, I was this chubby kid, right? And I got rejected a lot by the people around me. You know, like my sister and my older cousin, they didn't want me to hang around. They were four years older. Of course I didn't. I was this fucking annoying little thing just hanging off their hip, right? My dad was meant to be my best friend. He'd go on fishing trips and not take me. Again, me feeling rejected. Me feeling rejected by the person that was meant to be my best friend, right? My dad. And then mum, like mum had to go back to work early because that's what my parents had to do to survive, to feed their kids, right? Mum had to work, but little Ellie was sent to daycare with another little girl and her mum. And little Ellie was like, Where's my mum? Why aren't I with my mum? What the fuck's going on? Do you know what I mean? So there was a lot of rejection. And when I actually lost weight, I lost like nine kilos when I was 12. I want this fucking hectic diet, man. I remember it. It was it was wild. Well, I it was like apples and salad. It was horrible. It's very bad. I remember how like brainwashed I made myself. Anyway, when I lost all this weight, I got all of this praise. I got all of this praise, and I was like, oh, okay. Now people like me. People like me if I look this way. Okay, I need that's like that. Is how I get love. That is how I get people to like me. That is how I get belonging. That's how I that's how I get everything that I'm looking for. Right? And so that played out throughout my entire life, really. Just trying to become something other than what I actually am. Looking at the trends, following the trends, you know. And so what I've realized recently, and it's so funny because we get told it all like ever since we're little girls, just be yourself, just be yourself, just be yourself, you know. But some somewhere along the line we decide that being ourselves isn't good enough, and so we need to become something else. But really, I truly believe that the vehicle to happiness and the vehicle, the self-love journey, yeah, is being authentic to yourself, and that can be fucking hard sometimes. That can be hard, yeah. Because what if you're a little bit of a fucking weirdo and you love collecting rocks and you love dinosaur bones? This is me, by the way, as a kid. What if that's you? Yeah, and everyone around you, everyone else loves fairies and you know, Barbie dolls, and you're like, fuck, I just want to get hot wheels. I don't want a Barbie doll, right? But you you we're made to believe that we need to be different. Or we, but we make we interpret it in that way. Yeah, I did anyway, right? There's so much. I think for some people it it's it's a brave thing, and it and it's a courageous journey to go on to actually just be who you are. And I believe that that's how you actually learn how to love yourself by just becoming more you. Like I'm about to get my boobs taken out in December, and I'm so excited. I have a tiny little bit of lip filler, and I'm gonna get that dissolved as well. I just wanna be fully me. I don't need to shape or form myself to be anything other than what I already am because I am perfect the way that I am, and it took me a long time to realize that. It took me a long lot, a long time to choose to believe that. So I'm curious, like, how can you become more you? Truly. I saw this story the other day. This chick was talking on her stories. No, it was a real actually, but whatever. She was talking online and she was talking about she's this like this beautiful, beautiful chick. Um, and I guess the I guess beauty standards-wise, she was blonde, blue-eyed, slim, fucking white lean, like perfect Pilates kind of princess, right? And when you look at her Instagram, that's exactly what you think. Like living in LA, like a model, blah, blah, blah, whatever. And she gets on her story, she gets on her reel, and she's just like, I'm having like a bit of a crisis because I don't know who the fuck I am. And she's like, I present myself this way, you know, and it's very much in line with the culture that I've inserted myself in in LA. Model, Pilates, matcha, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And she's like, but I love playing the drums. I love going camping. I love this, I love this, I love this. And she's like, what do I do? She's like, what do I do? Especially when when I actually be myself, engagement goes down. When I actually share what's real for me, engagement goes down. And and when engagement goes up, is if I post like a sexy picture or this or that or whatever. What's she meant to do? What do you think she's meant to do? Something that I realized recently, and something that I chose to be a belief of mine, is that my measure of success when it comes to posting on social media is authenticity. For a period of time, there was like a little bit of ego, being like, oh, noticing how many likes or shares or comments or whatever. And I just noticed that the energy around that interaction with that post or whatever, like for myself, my energetic interaction with that post would be like, oh damn, that was not successful. Right. When really it was something that came from my heart. And what kind of message is that reinforcing to myself and energetically? It's like, oh, okay, again, you need to be different. You need to post what you think people would like rather than posting what's real and authentic for you. Because the thing is, I believe that people connect with authenticity. And maybe what you have to put out there is medicine for a select few people, right? It doesn't have to have these fucking big numbers attached to it. What if you shared one thing and it changed someone's life, you know, and they and all they did, and all they did is that they liked the post. But you're looking at that, or me, you know, I'm looking at that being like, oh, that's an unsuccessful post. But it's like, you don't know what kind of impact that could have had. I didn't know what kind of impact that could have had, right? So it's like even if your external reality is, or the way you're perceiving your external reality is responding to your authenticity. If you're perceiving it to be like, oh, people aren't liking this, and you're letting that sway you again from the path of being who you truly are, you're letting the beast win. Yeah. And if you're being inauthentic, you're going to attract inauthentic people because the world reflects back to you what you're putting out there. That's why when I said like, you know, authenticity is, you know, the self-love journey. It truly is. Like when we think about that chick and her Instagram, her realizations, I guess, or observations around Instagram and who she was, you know, portraying herself as versus who she actually was. It's self-love. This is what self-love actually is. Is her being like, fuck the metrics, fuck the likes, fuck the comments. I'm just gonna be me. And I'm gonna put that out there even if the engagement goes down. That's self-love. Because you know, we're a lot of people measure success off how many likes and shares and comments and whatever views they get. You know, and I don't think you have to just be like someone that's a creator and influencer to feel that way. I think a lot of people feel that way. Yeah, even if it's just like, oh my gosh, did the guy that I like, did they like my post? Is the person that I'm talking to, did they watch my story? Did they like my story? And if they didn't, it's like fuck, it's a terrible story. Oh no, he doesn't like it. I need to post more stuff with my tits out. Oh my gosh. And look, I like I've honestly been through that journey myself. Remember when there was a time, I don't know, tell me no, reach out if you remember this. Remember there was a time where I was very much influenza girly, and I would post and I would post so many like provocative things, lots of bikini stuff, you know, like lots of stuff like that. And I was posting for validation, and I got attention. Fuck yeah, I got attention, and that fed my ego, and then when I actually switched things up and started posting stuff that mattered to me, yeah, engagement went down a bit because society's fucking weird, and I connected with the right people too. I really connected with the right people, and I continue to do so. So yeah, I with this authenticity piece, it's like, how can you become more of you? How can you embrace who you actually are and share that with the world in whatever way that looks like? And maybe it does mean sharing some stuff online. Maybe it means just like if you're friend, you're in like a friendship group where everyone's, you know, still wanting to party and stuff, and you're like, oh fuck, I don't want to. I want to run marathons, or I wanna like, I want to do breath work, or I want to do this, or I want to do that, I want to do creative stuff. Like, just do those things, and it's okay for you to do them on your own. That's self-love, that's self-honouring. Authenticity is the opposite of self-abandonment. Being authentic and true to yourself is the opposite of abandoning yourself. And so if you're people pleasing, or you're changing who you are to try to fit in, or you're doing what other people want to do rather than what you want to do, you're self-abandoning. And as long as you do that. I mean it's gonna suck. Okay. That's that one. The next lesson. Okay, okay, got two more. Yeah, two more lessons. This one. Okay. If you want to experience fulfillment in your life, give back. Give back. I had a bit of a moment on Instagram recently where I got really emotional. I was just feeling the heaviness of the world and all of the crazy shit that's happening, and just feeling yeah, a lot of sadness around those things. And just even like reflecting on like how there are like people living on the streets, you know, and how there are people that just walk past them every day, but and just like avoid eye contact, and it's like, what the fuck? Like that's fucking crazy when you think about it. It's wild. And so even just thinking about like nature and how much we take and take and take, how much we fucking consume, and we just throw it away, and we just throw it into nature, and then it just sits there and poisons our land, poisons our earth. What's that about? You know, I went for I've been going for walks, right? I have this beautiful like road that I can walk along, and it's got nature all around me, like the most beautiful jungle, like rainforest, and I look on the side of the road, it's just rubbish. Like people throwing their beer cans and smoke packets and like food packets, and I'm just it was a it was a day that I was walking and I was like, what the fuck? What the fuck, people? I got pissed off, and so I got on Amazon and I bought a garbage bin thing and like a little picker uppera, like a garbage picker uppera. And now whenever I go for walks, I take two bin bags and I do two bagfuls of rubbish just on my walk. And that's that's one way that I give back. So I give back to the planet, you know. Another way that I give back and I try and take care of the planet is I don't put my fucking food scraps in the rubbish bin, like wrapped up in plastic for it to fester and do weird shit, grow planets in there. I don't know. Do you know what I mean? Like I have a, and I know a lot of people do this as well, which is awesome. I have like a container with rubbish, like food food scraps in it, and I put it back into nature. And that's how I give back. And I feel good that I'm doing that. I feel good that I'm I'm I'm doing what I can do, and I think that's the that's the main piece here, is that the main lesson here that I'd love to share is that it's like do what you can. Do what you can for nature, do what you can for your neighbor, do what you can for the people around you. Give the homeless guy some food or some water or some money. Like, what a blessing to be in a position where you're the one that gets to offer help rather than being in the position of asking for help. Right? And this isn't this isn't like, you know. I think this is just about being an ally, recognizing that everybody is a a brother or a sister. You know, we're human, we're all allies to each other. Like, how can we help each other? How can we make a difference? This planet that we live on is our home. And yeah, it's I've been sitting with it a lot, how much how much we've abused our home. You know, so I th I believe that in order to feel a sense of fulfillment in life, is that we need to find ways that we can be of service and we need to find ways that we can give back. I'm super stoked with the work that I do, like and the people that I get to connect with through that, like on my women's retreats, my group coaching programs, my one-on-one private mentorships. Like, I get to give back by helping people to live happier lives, yeah, to heal their traumas, actually for once and for all, put down the stuff that's happened to them in the past to put that down. Yeah, helping people to upgrade their lives, get rid of toxic behaviors, self-sabotage, self-destructive habits, building a sense of worth, confidence, self-love, that is one of the most fulfilling things that I do, and I'm super grateful that I get to do it. I love it. Because, you know, having more people in this world that are happy, that are that feel good, like like I said earlier, the the ripple of a the ripple effect of that is profound, and we need more of that. That is the medicine that the world needs. And that's a huge part of why I do what I do. Yeah. Anywho, that's the that's the third one. Yeah, give back. Do what you can. Do what you can. To summarize all of that, just do what you can. And that might even just be like walking past someone and smiling at them. Do you know what I mean? Like just smiling at someone or being like, hey, how are you? Like, how are you really? And just listening. Or doing like a random act of kindness. Yeah. What can you do to make a difference? And and notice when you do those things, notice how that makes you feel. It's fucking beautiful. Okay, lucky last. Health. Health is the most important thing. That's what I've written. Health is the most important thing. My goodness. I've been on a journey. This this last um these last twelve months, especially, it's been fucking intensive. I feel like I've just been detoxing massively, you know? Detoxing suppressed emotions, old identities, belief systems, detoxing, you know, shitty behaviors and habits, detoxing physically as well. Like that's that's the I guess current journey that, or current phase of this journey that I'm on is like doing a physical detox and and working alongside a holistic detox coach. You might have already listened to my previous episode with um Ava, Eva. And if you haven't, please do. It's so good. She's fucking incredible. Man, I met her when I was in Guatemala and hearing her speak about the microplastics and um heavy metal burden that we all have, by the way, and I guess the different contributing factors that we've all been exposed to throughout our lives, and how that can present in terms of the symptoms that we experience, even just like anxiety, depression, stress, fatigue, hair loss, blah, blah, blah. I mean, listen to the podcast and it's incredible. When I was hearing her speak about these things, I was like, oh, this is what I'm meant to do next. Yeah. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So when I would when I did my last ayahuasca journey, right? When I sat with ayahuasca last in September last year, there was a blimp within that journey where I felt like I had cancer. And it was like this whole feeling of dread like wash over me. And I was like, thank goodness, I was sitting with like um a team member from the medicine family. She was helping me through some other heavy shit that I was going through that night. But I said to her, Oh no, I was like, something's wrong. And she was like, What? What is it, sister? And I was like, I think I have to have cancer. And she was like, No, you don't. But now this clarity literally arrived today. And it was the most dreadful, like fucking terrifying feeling, by the way. Like it was horrible. It was horrific. I just got shivers down my legs. Um, remembering that. I realized today, nine months later, yeah, after dealing with a lot of health anxiety from that fucking journey, yeah, it made me like really scared. Made me really scared. I was like, every little niggle, I'd be like, oh my god, what's that? You know? And what I've realized is that it was an invitation to get my health right. Because if I I believe that if I was to continue with some of the behaviors and habits that I was doing, then who fucking knows what would happen with my health, right? And so, yeah, ultimately it's led me to doing this detox and just becoming super aware of the toxin exposure that we have every single day, especially as women chicks. The inform the information I'm consuming now about cosmetics. I'm like, oh my gosh, I need to throw all my makeup out and get mineral makeup only and like lotox, low tox all the way. Yeah. Oh my goodness. Um, but yeah, health is super important. Health is the most important thing. And it's something that we really take for granted. You know, how what about when like you get sick and you get a blocked nose? Do you do this too? And it's just like, what the fuck? Oh, this sucks. This is the worst thing ever. I can't wait until I can breathe again. I'm gonna be so grateful when I can breathe and do a full breath through my blocked nose. Have you ever done that? I mean, I do that. It's like, wow, life's gonna be so good. I'm gonna be so grateful when that happens. Yeah, I think, you know, there's something in that just for health overall, you know, like we're young. We're young still, and I think a lot of us have maybe not realized how poorly we've we've treated our bodies, you know, even just like going through different diets and and stuff like that. Um, I know that if if you grew up at a time when I grew up, there was a lot of diet culture. Yeah, I think there's there's a lot of yeah, there's a lot of ways that I have personally like poisoned myself over the years, and I'm really recognizing that now through all of the alcohol use, drug use, um, smoking, vaping for a period of time, what the fuck? Um all of like just do something for me. Like, look at the labels of the products that you put on your body. I think we should be a little bit more um, I think we should be a little bit more concerned about that than we are, you know. And I know that there is a big movement, like I know that I certainly am more aware now because I found myself in um consuming content and stuff and connecting with people that has made me more aware. And I'm like, shit, yeah, this is actually not good for me. I need to stop using these things immediately and I need to start to transition out to stuff that's actually gonna be supporting my health, not slowly poisoning me, right? But yeah, if this is something that you're a little bit more interested in, you're like, oh shit, okay. This isn't intended to scare anybody, by the way. I hope it isn't. Yeah, it's just like let this be, because I believe, look, I believe that God and the universe is always supporting us and always trying to nudge us in the right direction, right? And so let this and and we get we get nudged in the right direction by the clues that we're given. Let this be a clue, yeah? You've probably already had some thoughts around this and be like, hmm, that's interesting. Yeah, consume more info about it. Educate yourself, make some positive changes for your health, because we only have one body, and we need to just love and cherish this vessel. Like, we are so fucking lucky. We are so lucky to have a healthy body. I sit with so much gratitude for that, like multiple times throughout the day. Just being like, thank you, God, and like thank you, body, for being so bloody forgiving. Because my goodness, I've put you through the ringer, and I promise I'm gonna take care of you. Yeah. So those are the lessons that I've been learning lately. I'm curious if any of these have like really stood out for you, and if it's sparked some inspiration or confirmed something for you or whatever. Like, please reach out and and let me know what's landed and yeah, how you're doing. But thanks so much for listening. See you in the next one.